S4EP137 - JULY FOURTH IS TRUMP DAY
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 33 minutes
Words per Minute
157.61111
Summary
On today's episode, we have special guest Donald Trump on the show to talk about his favorite things about the president, his favorite nicknames, and why he thinks he's the greatest president the USA has had since George Washington.
Transcript
00:00:25.000
You know how much you love it when you get it in the morning.
00:00:28.000
Give a f about the budget when you want me to be the subject.
00:00:31.000
But it's nothing when you flippin' just they fuck it.
00:00:33.000
Cause you walking out in public and you hear them talking rubbish.
00:00:36.000
I just wanna rise ride through the city in a cup, bitch.
00:00:55.000
Just got a disturbing email from a baby monster.
00:00:58.000
Remember when I said, I don't want your presents?
00:01:04.000
We were rushed out of there and Nick Oakes was there and I was like, oh shit, come over here.
00:01:11.000
And I forgot to grab the book and some shirts and stuff.
00:01:21.000
One of the guys who gave me the thing is driving back.
00:01:28.000
And he brought one of the, I don't know what it was, shirt or a book or something.
00:01:32.000
And I'm like, they're all listening in the car, the whole family.
00:02:05.000
We're going to look at his awesome nicknames, his fantastic tweets, our favorite moments.
00:02:21.000
His predictions that came true, all the hoaxes around him.
00:02:26.000
From the steering wheel to the fine people hoax, and the insurrection is a hoax.
00:02:32.000
And then we'll look at some letters and fucking get back to partying.
00:02:37.000
But if we are partying, please don't let me do shots or coke.
00:02:43.000
A beer buzz, the next day you wake up and you're like, I think I can hack it.
00:02:49.000
Every other buzz, the next day is AIDS, especially at 51.
00:02:56.000
Recovering from visiting Max and John took me a week.
00:03:12.000
We have Donald Trump in the studio, ladies and gentlemen.
00:03:18.000
I could tell that you're a fan of Donald Trump, too.
00:03:25.000
People don't know that, but I did theancestry.com and the...
00:03:32.000
Well, we won't get into it, but we're not going to get into it.
00:03:37.000
But yes, happy to be here, Gavin, and I'm honored to have a show.
00:03:44.000
We chose the right guy, sir, because everything about you is awesome.
00:03:47.000
So let's start just right out of the gate with a compilation of some of what other people consider your best moments.
00:03:57.000
I am officially running for President of the United States.
00:04:07.000
I should have introduced this a little bit better.
00:04:11.000
Donald Trump is the greatest president of the United States since George Washington.
00:04:28.000
America, culturally, had been on a pretty good trajectory from the day I was born, 1970, after Martin Luther King was shot.
00:04:38.000
We've been getting better and better and better.
00:04:48.000
We had the Bushes, which are a weird monarchy that ran the country for a while.
00:05:11.000
Barack Obama's damage to America culturally is possibly irreparable.
00:05:17.000
What he did was he wiped out the past 50 years, the past half a century of progress, and said, America's racist.
00:05:33.000
He's the single mom, communist academic, liberal.
00:05:37.000
And their culture is all about hate, self-hatred, ethnomasochism, Western anti-chauvinism, hating on this country.
00:05:46.000
And, you know, he went, he changed NASA into a thing that goes around the world telling Arabs they did a great job.
00:05:52.000
And you've got Michelle Obama saying, when Barack was elected, it was the first time she's ever proud of her country.
00:06:00.000
And he busted his ass and stayed with the family, gave her a nice normal name like Michelle.
00:06:11.000
And because he's a hard worker, we don't care if you're a black gimp.
00:06:19.000
All of a sudden, shame started permeating the proudest country in the world.
00:06:25.000
All of a sudden, we stole this land from the Indians and it was built By slaves, and America's not great.
00:06:35.000
That is as culturally impossible as it is for Britain to say we never should have had pubs.
00:06:49.000
Let's have prohibition and burn all the distilleries and end pub culture.
00:06:58.000
It is like telling Indians that they can't have spice anymore.
00:07:03.000
It's like telling the Congolese that they can no longer jump up and down and rub cow shit on their face.
00:07:17.000
And that was just a weird, it was as ridiculous as Prohibition in a way.
00:07:22.000
It was just a weird cultural shift where all of a sudden it was identity politics and it was trans and it was all this stuff.
00:07:29.000
And now your race defined you and now your sexual proclivity defined you.
00:07:39.000
It's why we have this pathetic education where people are coming out from college stupider than when they went in.
00:07:46.000
And Barack Obama's mentality and his supporters, the culture they pushed was, look, you fucked up.
00:07:55.000
And all you can do now is apologize and try to give me stuff to make it better.
00:08:04.000
Like, imagine, assuming most of you are straight, imagine someone said, you got to be gay tomorrow.
00:08:21.000
Like, when we first started getting told we suck and we're evil and white men are evil.
00:08:39.000
He goes, when I was a kid, if there was a black kid named Brian, he was just Brian.
00:08:53.000
And I don't want to play in the fucking race pool with you.
00:08:57.000
I want to play in the merit pool, which is the way shit used to be from 1970 to the 80s.
00:09:04.000
And then this guy comes along, a regular Joe, a New Yorker with a smart ass attitude, a fuck you attitude.
00:09:22.000
And what he means by that is, let's cut out all of this Obama shit, all this nerds rule, anti-bullying, like you are what you eat.
00:09:38.000
We're going back to just work hard and do a good job.
00:09:48.000
Because losers like Patton Oswalt and all these libs of TikTok and these fucking professors that no one likes and like Alan Froyer last night, or sorry, Thursday night and Terry Gross.
00:10:04.000
We were under the tyranny of the shrill minority, the oppressed, the fucking nerds.
00:10:13.000
They went apoplectic because no one wants to give power away, especially when they've just got their first taste of it.
00:10:26.000
They weren't the majority, but if you break up with a girl and say you live in an apartment building, right?
00:10:33.000
And she is so psycho, she keeps smashing the front windows of the apartment building.
00:10:37.000
Eventually the landlord, if he has no merit, he's going to go, dude, you got to move out.
00:10:42.000
This crazy bitch, even though she's just one person, is ruining it for the whole building.
00:10:47.000
And that's why Trump lost, besides stealing the election.
00:10:51.000
That's why we're in this shithole, because these shrill losers who finally got attention and got to bud their way to the front of the line don't want to give it up.
00:11:02.000
So that's why we love Trump, because he is a true American, and a true American is proud.
00:11:18.000
I wasn't that mad when they took this gun away or made this law or started infringing on speech a little bit.
00:11:28.000
You know, it was like being boiled alive, right?
00:11:30.000
You don't notice when they turn the heat up slowly.
00:11:37.000
You know that whole like a frog boiling, you turn it up a little bit?
00:11:40.000
You ever been in a hot tub and you're like, dude, this sucks.
00:11:45.000
Anyway, then I noticed they were killing comedy and they were killing fun and they were killing nuance and they were killing art and movies.
00:12:00.000
And that's what I love about Trump, that he's fun.
00:12:04.000
So, you know, I did an article, an interview with ABC News, and they brought up this thing and they brought up all this stuff that could be construed as negative.
00:12:13.000
For example, they brought up me saying, most Muslims are a bunch of toothless hillbilly inbreds who fuck their first cousin and, you know, eat out of the garbage and fuck goats or whatever.
00:12:27.000
And I did say that, generally, I'm paraphrasing.
00:12:30.000
But she left out the first part where I said, everyone sees Appalachian hillbillies as these toothless inbreds who fuck goats and blah, blah, blah.
00:12:40.000
And then I do the exact same description of hillbillies on radical Islam, right?
00:12:47.000
Now, her point was that I shouldn't ever allow myself to be taken out of context.
00:12:53.000
Everything I say should be gray and uncancelable and unmanipulable.
00:13:01.000
And I said to her, no, no, I want to do that analogy with the Hillbillies and Radical Islam.
00:13:05.000
I don't want to have all these caveats around everything.
00:13:08.000
That's taking away nuance, that's taking away color, that's taking away fun, art, beauty.
00:13:14.000
I like the language to be rude and have some kick to it.
00:13:18.000
So, no, I'm not doing this because it has been interpreted as a Nazi symbol.
00:13:23.000
And that's what, I mean, my favorite thing of Trump, and we'll get to it in a bit, was just anchor baby.
00:13:32.000
Can you please say undocumented citizen of people that are just trying to be good people and are from Mexico originally?
00:13:56.000
So that's the intro we need before we talk about how fucking awesome this dude is.
00:14:01.000
And we are going to make our country great again.
00:14:07.000
When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best.
00:14:15.000
They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us.
00:14:45.000
So what you're supposed to be shocked by is this is like the worst.
00:14:54.000
88% of the women crossing the border get raped.
00:15:09.000
You can still be arrested by the Human Rights Commission for saying something that's true, just if it offends a particular group.
00:15:22.000
But we have some bad umbres here, and we're going to get them out.
00:15:25.000
And it's really weak to call John McCain a loser because he was a patron.
00:15:45.000
And then I watched this idiot Lindsey Graham on television today, and he calls me a jackass.
00:15:53.000
Have you heard this talk that McCain wasn't captured?
00:16:00.000
I don't know how verifiable it is, but that he was just staying in an apartment.
00:16:07.000
He's really well connected, and this is all a ruse.
00:16:16.000
Oh, I believe that Obama was not born in America.
00:16:22.000
Actually, the same guy who told me the McCain thing also said he's seen the birth certificate, and it doesn't look like the others, other Hawaiian birth certificates.
00:16:32.000
This is on the front page of the New York Times.
00:16:42.000
I'll prove once and for all that it's mine, okay?
00:16:46.000
Remember Jimmy Fallon tussled his hair on this show?
00:16:56.000
And then Jimmy Fallon went through this like, stop, this soul-searching thing.
00:17:02.000
He's in New York Magazine, sitting on top of the Radio City Music Hall sign outside.
00:17:11.000
Like, he was in shit for treating Trump like a human being.
00:17:26.000
You've called women you don't like fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals.
00:17:38.000
I love that because he can see what she's doing there.
00:17:45.000
That doesn't mean I call women I don't like fat pigs.
00:17:48.000
So he sees she's fucking around and messing with him.
00:17:51.000
So he messes with her back and refuses to take the question seriously because it's not a serious question.
00:18:06.000
And honestly, Megan, if you don't like it, I'm sorry.
00:18:10.000
I've been very nice to you, although I could probably maybe not be based on the way you have treated me, but I wouldn't do that.
00:18:16.000
You brag that you have sexually assaulted women.
00:18:28.000
Can you effing believe, I swear to God, I'll mention this on my deathbed, that there was a 100,000-person rally in Washington, D.C. because they're offended by a pussy joke.
00:18:42.000
That is about as embarrassing as when, what's his name, Rishav Nivav, Dr. Shiva, had that free speech rally and 100,000 Bostonites marched in the streets saying, we don't want hate in Boston.
00:19:24.000
Believe me, she would not be my first choice, that I can tell you.
00:19:37.000
All of these liars will be sued after the election is over.
00:19:42.000
I'm going to take such good care of women's health care issues, you won't even believe it.
00:19:50.000
The answer is that there has to be some form of punishment.
00:19:58.000
And Global News, their implication there is that abortion is just women's health care.
00:20:22.000
Well, I think the only card she has is the woman's card.
00:20:26.000
And frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she'd get 5% of the vote.
00:20:33.000
Just look at her pathetic email server statements.
00:20:48.000
And remember when Stephen Oliver, is that his name?
00:20:52.000
John Oliver heard that Trump's original name was Drumpf?
00:20:59.000
And yeah, people on Ellis Island were lazy and Rosh Devonsdovik became Rosh.
00:21:10.000
That's not the gotcha you think it is, you fucking loser.
00:21:15.000
Conversely, however, whenever Trump came up with a nickname, it was always a masterpiece and it stuck.
00:21:21.000
So without further ado, let's stop this Canadian montage and get into Trump's awesome nicknames.
00:21:50.000
And no one ever saw him as anything but Little Marco after that.
00:21:56.000
Now when I look at Marco Rubio, I just see Dumbo the elephant.
00:22:40.000
That's why we call her Crooked Hillary Clinton.
00:22:57.000
I think she's murdered, been responsible for the murders of at least 14 people.
00:23:18.000
Okay, so 1-7 is another montage of quality nicknames.
00:23:31.000
Well, frankly, I've always loved Lion Ted, but he came back around and he supported Donald Trump.
00:23:44.000
After all the things I said about him, you know, I said, Lion Ted.
00:23:48.000
And your friend Alex Stein, remember when he got in front of Ted Cruz?
00:23:53.000
He asked him, he said, how did you stand there after Trump made fun of you and your wife?
00:23:58.000
Because Ted maybe doesn't have a backbone, but I'll tell you what, when he started supporting me, I stood right next to him.
00:24:05.000
He stood right next to me, and I said, now we're going to call him Beautiful Ted.
00:24:14.000
And then I cracked a bottle of champagne over his head.
00:24:56.000
Yeah, he does all those true crime things, doesn't he?
00:24:59.000
Where all he does is come out and it says hosted by Lester Holt.
00:25:02.000
He just comes out and says, they died and it was horrible.
00:25:07.000
And then they can have a black guy as the face of the show, even though he doesn't do fucking anything.
00:25:32.000
A guy with the worst spray tan in America is attacking me.
00:25:36.000
The attacks this year have gone from plain old nasty to flat out crude.
00:25:46.000
And you know what they say about men with small hands?
00:25:56.000
It's hard to think of any campaign in modern times.
00:26:05.000
I can't be friends with anyone who wears those.
00:26:10.000
If I met a guy, because in the suburbs, a lot of the dads wear those.
00:26:14.000
If I met a guy, I would say, can you please take that off?
00:26:16.000
It would be like a Jew, and you show up with a swastika sweater.
00:26:19.000
It'd be like, look, I understand you're a Nazi, but can you take that off?
00:26:29.000
It's hard to think of any campaign in modern times where you've had the line with the debate be so raw and angry and getting personal.
00:26:39.000
Undeniably, it is Donald Trump, the most controversial candidate in memory who's driving the tone.
00:26:58.000
When you call Jeb Bush low energy Bush, oomph, it like sticks to him like tar.
00:27:06.000
He was never anything but I still, if you put Jeb Bush in my head, I hear the words low energy.
00:27:21.000
Donald is throwing yet another temper tantrum, or if you like, yet another Trumper tantrum.
00:27:26.000
Only once, the personal attacks exploded in Temper tantrum.
00:27:32.000
Possibly Marco Rubio's last chance to stop Trump.
00:27:40.000
Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
00:27:42.000
He's flying around on Hair Force One and tweeting, it's Rubio.
00:27:48.000
It isn't the first modern campaign to hit below the belt.
00:27:58.000
Like, the history of politics has always been cutthroat.
00:28:04.000
Go look up the first five presidential campaigns in America.
00:28:19.000
My dog Millie knows more about foreign affairs than these two people.
00:28:22.000
Whoa, she's really going back in the history books there, all the way to the 90s.
00:28:27.000
Nate Bill Clinton took this shot at then-Senator Obama's experience.
00:28:31.000
This whole thing is the biggest fairy tale I've ever seen.
00:28:39.000
There have been campaigns that have been called nasty in the past, but the nastiness was over issues.
00:28:45.000
It was not making personal insults against each other.
00:29:01.000
It didn't really stick, but it had its moment in the sun.
00:29:06.000
Standing sort of alone against all of these people.
00:29:09.000
I mean, I saw Adam shift this guy, the watermelon head.
00:29:20.000
And then there's, of course, Buttage gig with his Alfred E. Newman.
00:29:24.000
And I love that one because they were trying to goad him into saying fag.
00:29:31.000
I would have went, do we really want our first lady to have cum in his beard?
00:29:39.000
Issues for Pennsylvania is the survival of your fracking industry.
00:29:44.000
Joe Biden has repeatedly pledged to abolish fracking.
00:29:56.000
They said, are you, remember the debates with the radical left Democrats, right?
00:30:01.000
You had Alfred E. Newman, you had all these people.
00:30:10.000
He was a bad mayor of a failed town, and he's going to run for president, you know?
00:30:20.000
Well, Donald, you could have done it like this.
00:30:30.000
When I saw Pete Buttigag, I go, did someone, is this the model for Alfred E. Newman?
00:30:38.000
Yeah, I thought he had a background in politics, but frankly, he was on the cover of a magazine.
00:30:48.000
Yeah, he even had butt in his name, too, and he had to stay away from it.
00:30:57.000
All right, I think we're ready to jump into our favorite Trump moments, Mr. Trump.
00:31:07.000
Like, let's, every time we show a card, have Mac Miller from now on.
00:31:12.000
Don't go back in time, but from now on, we show the card and it's Donald Trump shit.
00:31:28.000
Okay, this is pretty much everyone's favorite, right?
00:31:33.000
England is a fag country, according to Archie Bunker.
00:31:36.000
And Montenegro, like the Balkans, all those garbage, Serbia.
00:31:42.000
And that's funny, too, because they say Western chauvinism is white supremacy.
00:31:52.000
Fucking, what was that dumb war with the Milosevic and the, what are they called again?
00:32:01.000
There's a war going on in my coalition for me to care.
00:32:38.000
You see them at these stupid G7 summits, these fake summits that America puts the bill for.
00:32:43.000
And remember Justin Trudeau, he's fiddling with his little bag, his little man purse, and he's got his notebook there, and he's taking it out, and he's got a pen, and he's...
00:32:52.000
He looks over at Bolsonaro, and Bolsonaro is just like, eh, fuck off.
00:32:57.000
And then he finally meets Trump, and Trump is like, who are you again?
00:33:12.000
And then Biden, I just saw a clip of him recently where he pushes in his chair and then you look at him and you're going, you're lost.
00:33:20.000
If you don't have your cards, which by the way, he's been getting these little cards that say you sit in your chair for 50 years.
00:33:28.000
So if he doesn't have a card telling him what to do, he has no fucking idea what to do.
00:33:33.000
It's weekend at Bernie's with that fucking guy.
00:33:53.000
See, this is, like, I'm an isolationist, like Buchanan, but I also get John Bolton's neocon shit to a certain extent.
00:34:06.000
I don't want to go out there and pick fucking dirt out of their rice and try to make sure they eat okay.
00:34:13.000
But I also want people to be scared of Americans.
00:34:16.000
I want terrorists to go, oh no, the Americans are coming.
00:34:22.000
So instead of sending thousands of teenagers to die in Afghanistan for 20 years, I'd rather you just fucking go in, behead the snake, get the top guys, take them out with green berets, or just fucking have some drones bomb the living shit at a one airplane hangar and just go,
00:34:44.000
He said, I will bomb all these little turrets in Moscow and this place.
00:34:59.000
Like John Pierce, the guy we had here, Kyle Rittenhouse's ex-lawyer, I use him all the time for people.
00:35:06.000
And I don't think they go, oh, Lord, one of the top minds in law has sent me a letter.
00:35:18.000
And that's just as good as respect in many ways.
00:35:25.000
The situation with ISIS has to be dealt firmly and strongly.
00:35:30.000
When you have people being beheaded, I would love not to be over there.
00:36:08.000
They're not going to show it, but I had a great moment where I said I was at the Oval Office.
00:36:15.000
And I said, we're going to bomb them into hell.
00:36:20.000
John Dingell was a guy who Trump thought supported him, and then he found out John Dingle was talking shit about him.
00:36:28.000
So at his funeral, Trump, you said he might be in hell.
00:37:00.000
You know what first attracted me to Trump, besides the anchor baby line, was that guy behind him.
00:37:08.000
You can really judge a politician by who his supporters are.
00:37:11.000
And I just like every Trump supporter I met was an awesome dude.
00:37:18.000
I didn't give him the C or the D. I could have.
00:38:00.000
This was sent in by a baby monster, by the way.
00:38:07.000
But I gave him A plus, not A. And then, speaking of taking care of business, of course, 2.5 when he killed Qasem Suliyamani.
00:38:23.000
That's what I call him because he's smaller, because he's bound, right?
00:38:30.000
And we had a great dog that went in there and really did a lot.
00:38:38.000
You just bomb them, and then you stop and say, are you good?
00:38:43.000
Or green berets, Navy SEALs, they show up in the middle of the night, like the Osama bin Laden thing.
00:39:02.000
United States military successfully executed a flawless precision strike that killed the number one terrorist anywhere in the world, Qasin Salome.
00:39:16.000
Salome was plotting imminent and sinister attacks on American diplomats and military personnel, but we caught him in the act and eliminated him.
00:39:34.000
So when we had Dinesh on the show, the time when he had the debate with what's his name?
00:39:43.000
Oh, Scherzer, by the way, is coming back tomorrow with the Mets.
00:39:52.000
Anyway, and Dinesh said, so, Donald, you seem like you're a bit of a toad.
00:40:03.000
And, you know, you take all of this abuse and it just seems to roll off your back.
00:40:08.000
And Donald, which is what we all assume, right?
00:40:23.000
Like, I thought, all right, this is clear-cut, very simple.
00:40:29.000
And the press, the media went, oh, Barack was way cooler after he killed Osama.
00:40:43.000
Trump was too braggadocious after his assassination of the terrorist guy.
00:40:49.000
He thought, I thought I'd be getting high fives.
00:40:51.000
I kind of feel the same way about Charlottesville.
00:40:53.000
After it was over, and I called, I said, don't go.
00:41:09.000
And then here's, these are all baby monster submissions, by the way.
00:41:13.000
When RGB died, they were blaring Tiny Dancer, which I think was originally written about Marilyn Monroe, but then Elton John updated it to Princess Die.
00:42:23.000
You got to put the two hands out to really brace the world.
00:42:26.000
But I'll tell you what, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, she was one of many people that the Trump curse befell.
00:42:39.000
I got to send a W-9 to the Orlando venue to get paid.
00:42:43.000
Now, if you remember, there were a bunch of celebrities that denounced Trump, right?
00:42:58.000
Right before the competition, she said she would not accept an invitation to the White House and lost badly.
00:43:06.000
Rhonda Rousey said she wouldn't vote for Trump.
00:43:09.000
She was knocked out for the first time that year.
00:43:17.000
Derek Jeter, what are the first instances of the Trump curse?
00:43:22.000
He moves out of the Trump penthouse in protest of me.
00:43:26.000
Breaks his foot, taking him out of the playoffs right afterwards.
00:43:32.000
Shila Bouffe, he did the He Will Not Divide Us about me.
00:43:35.000
He got arrested twice and lost his fucking mind.
00:43:39.000
George Clooney crashes his gay little motorcycle in Italy after a Trump criticism.
00:43:46.000
Also, his movie Suburicon bombed right after that.
00:43:58.000
Harvey Weinstein said, Trump appeals to the worst of us, and I think we all know what happened to him, right?
00:44:04.000
Don't forget the creepy porn lawyer that's told Jacob Wall he's coming after him, Michael Avenati.
00:44:10.000
Michael Avenatti, felony charges, eviction, creepy porn lawyer.
00:44:14.000
And by the way, Stormy Daniels had to pay the legal fees to me with the help of her anti-Trump donations.
00:44:26.000
That could be a whole other section, Mr. President.
00:44:40.000
This doesn't look that dramatic, but just trust me, it's profound.
00:44:44.000
And it sums up everything great about this man.
00:44:49.000
You know, I love the ugly American, the stereotype.
00:44:53.000
The sock garters with the Hawaiian shirt and the camera here.
00:44:56.000
And he's in France going, no, I said, where's the Eiffel Tower?
00:45:08.000
You know, before politics, really, I'm the one that made politics like everybody has to weigh in on it, right?
00:45:14.000
But before me, politics were so gay, nobody would even think about it.
00:45:18.000
And the great thing about Americans is they could be blissful, right?
00:45:22.000
They could want to be a singer, a guitarist, or whatever they want to be, a ninja.
00:45:35.000
Especially pre-Barack, it was just like, oh, it's policy and taxes and stuff.
00:45:41.000
And then post-Barack with Trump, you sort of went, oh, wait, so what's been going on?
00:45:46.000
And now people care about capital gains and estate tax and inflation and the price of gas and what's going on in Afghanistan.
00:46:00.000
Anyway, let's watch the one I keep referencing.
00:46:07.000
You mean it's not politically correct and yet everybody uses it?
00:46:14.000
The American-born child of an undocumented immigrant worker.
00:46:16.000
Okay, I said, no, I'll use the word anchor baby.
00:46:23.000
The American-born child of undocumented workers.
00:46:31.000
And then, of course, the greatest moment of all time, you'd be in jail.
00:46:36.000
Fact check him, fact check, fact-check him in real time.
00:46:40.000
Last time at the first debate, we had millions of people fact-checking, so I expect we'll have millions more fact-checking because, you know, it's just awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country.
00:47:05.000
We want to remind the audience to please not talk out loud.
00:47:10.000
They take politics into a fucking rock concert.
00:47:15.000
The moderators have to tell people to stop cheering.
00:47:18.000
And I was very well behaved, but remember what they did?
00:47:45.000
And then you got the other guy to the side like this.
00:47:56.000
Did you see, by the way, Mr. President, Ben Crump is suing Google because the results are racist.
00:48:02.000
Yet, if you look up inventors, like the second thing is a bunch of black dudes.
00:48:15.000
Even if you type in white family or something like that, it comes, or if you type in black violence or something like that, it's violence upon black people, really.
00:48:25.000
But that's what I'm talking about, the unfairness here, because remember how little of time they gave me, but they would let her blabber on for God knows how long?
00:48:33.000
And then they had two people, two people, excuse me.
00:48:36.000
They had two people at the same time saying, oh, Mr. Trump, don't say this, don't say that.
00:48:41.000
Meanwhile, she would blab on for God knows how long, right?
00:48:45.000
Yeah, I wonder where Anderson Cooper is on the political spectrum.
00:48:48.000
I know where he is right now, probably on the bottom of a guy, right?
00:49:01.000
Go back to Mac Miller, and we'll have the Trump tweets.
00:49:27.000
I love that when I was doing the research for this, I was seeing a lot of left-wing sites, all these compilations and this list of tweets.
00:49:37.000
And they're on the left-wing sites because the motto is, the motive, the goal is for you to go, what the fuck?
00:49:49.000
Meanwhile, I'm just like, yeah, I can use your research, lefties, because everything you're showing is awesome.
00:49:55.000
That's what's so great is that you're like, I got to look for some awesome Trump moments.
00:50:04.000
Yeah, I mean, we don't even have to worry about media bias anymore because everything they show is right up my alley.
00:50:16.000
Wow, the ratings are in and Arnold Schwarzenegger got swamped or destroyed by comparison to the ratings machine.
00:50:24.000
DJT, so much for that's what he was hosting, Celebrity Apprentice, right?
00:50:32.000
Being a movie star and that was so much for being a movie star.
00:50:41.000
Now compare him to my season one, but who cares?
00:50:49.000
Because Arnold Schwarzenegger was talking shit about him.
00:50:56.000
And Arnold Schwarzenegger took over Celebrity Apprentice and did a terrible job.
00:51:03.000
Happy New Year to all, including my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly.
00:51:20.000
A lefty shows that and goes, can you believe this shit?
00:51:24.000
And I'm like, yeah, that's fucking hilarious and awesome.
00:51:29.000
Like, they're so uptight and humorless that they're offended by that.
00:51:41.000
Ariana Huff is unattractive both inside and out.
00:51:45.000
I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man.
00:51:51.000
Now, this was when Huffington Post said, when he said he was going to run, they said, no, that's bullshit.
00:52:01.000
So we'll be covering his campaign only in the entertainment section, not in anything political.
00:52:11.000
I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.
00:52:23.000
They'll be like, I'll get the salad with my triple fucking cheeseburger and Diet Coke on the side.
00:52:34.000
They tried to shave me for eating McDonald's and KFC.
00:52:40.000
And if it's good enough for the American people, it's good enough for me.
00:52:47.000
Sorry, losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest.
00:52:58.000
I've always been a fan of Steve Jobs, especially after watching Apple stock collapse without him, but the yacht he built is truly ugly.
00:53:36.000
When I looked this up, I was like, oh, I wish I was a billionaire so I could have a yacht.
00:53:42.000
A floating mini-mall office that could be in Indiana?
00:53:52.000
That's like where you go to get your fucking fishing license renewed.
00:54:09.000
If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband, what makes her think she could satisfy America?
00:54:17.000
My grandparents didn't come to America all the way from Germany just to see it get taken over by immigrants.
00:54:26.000
Wind turbines are not only killing millions of birds, beautiful, beautiful birds, they're killing the finances and environment of many countries and communities.
00:54:38.000
Am I supposed to read that and go, that's fucked up?
00:54:48.000
Am I going to be able to show you my favorite moments at some point?
00:55:15.000
That card, make a new card and make it say my best moments.
00:55:42.000
Now, some of my favorite moments involve kids because really, the media tried to make me seem like a real monster, right?
00:55:49.000
But I really have a sweetheart, a big heart, a lot of love.
00:55:55.000
And what you see is me and the media being mean to people, but that's because they don't deserve my love.
00:56:00.000
But these kids, so great at Halloween, look how I treated this little minion.
00:56:22.000
I mean, really, that's not a guy phoning it in.
00:56:25.000
This is a guy having fun, having a lovely time, and really connecting with the kids.
00:56:29.000
And those are full-size candy bars, by the way.
00:56:45.000
Yes, this is a separate one about calling kids for Christmas.
00:56:50.000
And I talk to kids the way I talk to adults, you know, so I ask him if he believes in Santa.
00:57:22.000
The Guardian is showing you that, like, I told you he's evil.
00:57:27.000
And we're sitting there going, we told you he's funny.
00:57:35.000
Just the way I react to this complete explosion of bullshit from low energy Jeb trying to say that I wanted to.
00:57:42.000
Did you notice, by the way, Mr. President, that Jeb has never recovered.
00:57:50.000
When was the last time you heard the words Jeb or Bush?
00:57:55.000
I don't know, but I've heard low energy in front of it last time I heard it, right?
00:58:13.000
And that's not, I'm not going to be bought by the promise.
00:58:24.000
Is there anything else you want to say about this?
00:58:25.000
I just will tell you that, you know, Jeb made the statement.
00:58:29.000
A lot of money was raised by a lot of different people that are standing up here.
00:58:32.000
And the donors, the special interest lobbyists have very strong power over these people.
00:58:44.000
I could have right now from special interest and donors, I could have double and triple what he's got.
00:58:51.000
I've turned down last week $5 million from somebody.
00:59:00.000
And they have a lot of control over our politicians.
00:59:06.000
And I'm not sure if there's another system, but I say this.
00:59:13.000
Nobody has control of me other than the people of this country.
00:59:31.000
Sorry, you fucked your brand up pretty badly by choosing a side.
00:59:34.000
And with the Trump Tower, you could only buy certain things.
00:59:36.000
We had to get rid of some of the shops there because it would seem like a conflict of interest.
00:59:41.000
So the only shop I had up was the hats and the shirts and things like that.
00:59:45.000
And that would be considered a campaign donation.
00:59:52.000
Right, but just like Mac Miller is singing about Donald Trump without being political because it was sold at songs like 2011.
00:59:59.000
All these liberals who used to stay at Trump Tower are never staying there ever again, and they're literally moving out.
01:00:05.000
There are guards outside of the Trump Hotel still to this day.
01:00:15.000
So it really did a number on me to be a president.
01:00:38.000
He said, if Biden gets in, you're going to be paying $5, $6, $7 for gas.
01:00:48.000
And it's an incredible thing that has happened over the last few years, a lot of great things.
01:00:54.000
And you're paying, what, $2 a gallon for your gasoline?
01:01:08.000
Last month, we announced a $5 billion investment to build out a nationwide electric vehicle charging network so the people from rural to suburban to urban communities can all benefit from the gas savings of driving an EV.
01:01:30.000
Trump tried to stop Biden from killing oil and gas.
01:01:36.000
By the way, I would transition from the oil industry, yes.
01:01:45.000
Because the oil industry pollutes significantly.
01:01:51.000
Well, if you let me finish the statement, because it has to be replaced by renewable energy over time.
01:02:09.000
And I'd stop giving chess, and I was playing a kid.
01:02:18.000
And every time I would move, I'd make a dumb move, he would go, ooh, okay.
01:02:45.000
So Germany, in their quest to eradicate fossil fuels and go only for renewable energy, fucked themselves.
01:02:52.000
And now they need Russia to provide them with energy.
01:02:56.000
Because believe it or not, solar panels and wind turbines cannot power a country of Germany's needs.
01:03:12.000
In 2018, Trump said that Germany would become totally dependent on Russian energy if they didn't change course.
01:03:16.000
Today, Germany issued an alert level of the gas emergency plan.
01:03:20.000
They're in short supply of natural gas and is being weaponized against them by Russia.
01:03:30.000
Germany will become totally dependent on Russian energy if it does not immediately change course.
01:03:55.000
Built the greatest economy in the history of the world, and we're now doing it again.
01:04:01.000
And I think we'll do even better the second time than we did the first time, unless somebody comes along and says, let's raise taxes on everybody.
01:04:10.000
And they're raising taxes not only on corporations, they'll just go to another country, and they'll do just fine.
01:04:18.000
But they're raising taxes on people and middle-income people, and they're losing jobs.
01:04:24.000
That will be all of this incredible job that we've done will go down like that.
01:05:04.000
He said the Supreme Court's going to overturn Roe v.
01:05:08.000
You're pro-life, but I want to ask you specifically: do you want the court, including the justices that you will name, to overturn Roe v.
01:05:16.000
Wade, which includes, in fact, states, a woman's right to abortion?
01:05:21.000
Well, if that would happen, because I am pro-life and I will be appointing pro-life judges, I would think that that will go back to the individual states.
01:05:29.000
But I'm asking you specifically, would you like to...
01:05:31.000
If they overturned it, it will go back to the states.
01:05:33.000
But what I'm asking you, sir, is do you want to see the court overturned?
01:05:37.000
You just said you want to see the court protect the Second Amendment.
01:05:42.000
Well, if we put another two or perhaps three justices on, that's really what's going to be happening.
01:05:48.000
And that'll happen automatically, in my opinion, because I am putting pro-life justices on the court.
01:06:05.000
You can see I'm still winning even though I'm not in office, you know.
01:06:12.000
All right, let's end the show with some anti-Trump hoaxes.
01:06:28.000
I mean, we could do a whole fucking show on this.
01:06:36.000
Trump paid prostitutes to urinate on a bed that Barack Obama was going to be on.
01:06:44.000
Which, first of all, Trump's a germaphobe and he doesn't like pee or poo or germs.
01:06:56.000
If I got into, I have actually, I did get in a bed once and it was wet at a motel when we were tree planting some trucker to wet the bed.
01:07:07.000
So anyway, dumb lies like that become part of a dossier, right?
01:07:12.000
And then they use this fake garbage dossier that Hillary put together to justify spying on the Trump campaign illegally.
01:07:21.000
And it all became, and then part of it too was Russia had hacked Hillary's email via Julian Assange.
01:07:29.000
This is why Roger Stone was in trouble because he was in bed with Julian Assange, figuratively.
01:07:38.000
And this is why Trump won because Russia had sabotaged Hillary.
01:07:44.000
And by the way, worst decision I never made, pardoning Julian Assange.
01:07:55.000
That's the one thing that if I could do over again, but it was between him and Lil Wayne.
01:08:24.000
But I did pardon Roger Stone, who was contempt of court or whatever, about Julian Assange.
01:08:44.000
I don't want to subscribe to your fucking gay, independent, rainbow logo shit.
01:08:50.000
Donald Trump says he was close to pardoning Julian Assange.
01:08:57.000
Trump didn't pardon WikiLeaks founder, and his supporters aren't happy.
01:09:03.000
So The Russia Hoax, there's a whole book on it that's really good.
01:09:08.000
The Russia Hoax, The Illicit Scheme to Clear Hillary Clinton and Frame Donald Trump by Greg Jarrett.
01:09:23.000
And millions of Americans think that Donald Trump saw guys with fucking tiki torches saying Jews will not replace us.
01:09:37.000
So there was two rallies simultaneously, really, going on.
01:09:54.000
He condemned the neo-Nazis in no uncertain terms.
01:09:58.000
So then, who were the fine people he mentioned?
01:10:03.000
He was referring to another group of Charlottesville demonstrators who came out that weekend.
01:10:07.000
Protesters who wanted the Robert E. Lee statue removed and protesters who wanted to keep the statue and restore the park's original name.
01:10:16.000
This is what President Trump said about those peaceful protesters.
01:10:20.000
You also had some very fine people on both sides.
01:10:24.000
You had people in that group that were there to protest the taking down of, to them, a very, very important statue and the renaming of a park from Robert E. Lee to another name.
01:10:36.000
A few moments later, in case there would be any misunderstanding, he makes his meaning even more explicit.
01:10:43.000
I'm not talking about the neo-Nazis and the white nationalists.
01:10:51.000
Lest you have any doubts that good people were in Charlottesville to protest the removal of the Robert E. Lee statue, the New York Times confirmed it in a story they published the next day, August 16th.
01:11:02.000
Good people can go to Charlottesville, said Michelle Percy, a night shift worker at a Wichita, Kansas retirement home, who drove all night with a conservative group that opposed the planned removal of a statue of the Confederate general.
01:11:16.000
By the way, I disagree with you on that one, Mr. Trump.
01:11:18.000
There were not good people wanting to remove a statue.
01:11:20.000
No, but you know, that's a very, you know, sensitive situation, and you do have to, unfortunately, play politics sometimes.
01:11:28.000
And, you know, if I really had to be honest, I'm sure there were some really fine people with the tiki torches, just some maybe lost souls or whatever.
01:11:45.000
Centronella, and there's a lot of mosquitoes down there.
01:11:48.000
We don't know if they were defending themselves against violent mosquitoes, Jews, termites, or mosquitoes.
01:12:06.000
You know, the so-called whistleblower, the one that didn't have any first-class or first-rate or second-tier information from what I understand.
01:12:22.000
But I've spoken with Leader Kevin McCarthy and the Republicans, many of them, and we were going to do this anyway, but I've informed them all of the House members on the so-called whistleblower information,
01:12:44.000
even though it was supposedly second-hand information, which is sort of interesting.
01:12:52.000
And other things have come out about the whistleblower that are also maybe even more interesting.
01:12:57.000
But also insist on transparency from Joe Biden and his son Hunter on the millions of dollars that have been.
01:13:07.000
He allegedly asked them to investigate Hunter Biden in Ukraine.
01:13:16.000
You should investigate Hunter Biden's behavior in Ukraine.
01:13:21.000
You said you won't give them money unless they prosecute Hunter Biden.
01:13:28.000
But Hunter Biden, sorry, Joe Biden did do that when he was vice president.
01:13:41.000
He said, I'm getting on a plane, and you got half a billion coming to you, whatever it was.
01:13:48.000
And by the time I get off that plane, you better have found a new prosecutor.
01:13:53.000
I've been going over convincing our team, our brothers to convincing us that we should be providing for loan guarantees.
01:14:01.000
And I went over, I guess, the 12th, 13th time to Kyiv, and I was supposed to announce that there was another billion-dollar loan guarantee.
01:14:11.000
And I had gotten a commitment from Poroshenko and from Yatsenyuk that they would take action against the state prosecutor, and they didn't.
01:14:20.000
So they said they were walking out to press conference.
01:14:32.000
We're not going to give you the billion dollars.
01:14:39.000
I said, I'm telling you, you're not getting the billion dollars.
01:14:48.000
If the prosecutor's not fired, you're not getting the money.
01:14:54.000
And they put in place someone who was solid at the time.
01:15:18.000
So this horrible allegation against you is something Biden did and bragged about.
01:15:32.000
Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful light.
01:15:40.000
And I think you said that hasn't been checked, but you're going to test it.
01:15:44.000
And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do, either through the skin or in some other way.
01:15:52.000
And I think you said you're going to test that too.
01:15:56.000
And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute.
01:16:02.000
And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning?
01:16:10.000
Because you see, it gets on the lungs and it does a tremendous number of the lungs.
01:16:15.000
So that you're going to have to use medical doctors with.
01:16:23.000
Is there a way we could get the disinfectant, the action that happens, the catalyst that disinfectant is on a surface?
01:16:31.000
Is there a way we could get that in a body somehow?
01:16:35.000
Especially in the lungs where there's a severe infection, would there be a way to clean that area and blast it somehow?
01:16:43.000
And then, of course, there was the Trump church.
01:16:45.000
We're up to 2020 now, the Photo Op hoax where he made a bunch of people clear an area so he could get a picture by a church.
01:16:58.000
And all of these are over-investigated like crazy because they're so desperate for him to fuck up.
01:17:05.000
And then they ignore it when other people do it, like Ukraine with Joe Biden.
01:17:09.000
The evidence established that relevant USRP officials had made those decisions and had begun implementing the operational plan several hours before they knew of a potential presidential visit to the park, which occurred later that day.
01:17:22.000
Interior Department Inspector General Mark Greenblatt wrote in a statement with the reports released Wednesday, as such, we determined that the evidence did not support a finding that USPP, sorry, cleared the park on June 1st, 2020, so that then president could enter the park.
01:17:40.000
And then the unbelievably ridiculous steering wheel hoax we just endured.
01:17:46.000
He hasn't been president for two years, and we're still going through this.
01:17:50.000
So somehow, Donald Trump reached from back there, opened up the bulletproof glass partition, and grabbed the steering wheel.
01:18:04.000
Now, I could have done it if I wanted to, but I really didn't want to.
01:18:08.000
But I could have smashed that open, really, if you really think about it.
01:18:16.000
And then final hoax, of course, January 6th, the meandering.
01:18:33.000
Capitol police officers involved are dead, committed suicide.
01:18:40.000
We just had today, or sorry, Friday, Joe Biggs was kicked out of the VA, lost all his benefits.
01:18:50.000
But because he wandered into the Capitol, he no longer has rights as a war vet.
01:18:57.000
He's been blowed up in a UV, going through the air.
01:19:02.000
His pen was like this in slow motion next to him.
01:19:20.000
Everyone who puts their life down the line, we're the same way with translators in the Middle East.
01:19:28.000
So, yeah, the steering wheel thing was a distraction.
01:19:34.000
You look at who died there and the suicides, our friends in prison.
01:19:40.000
We're trying to make elections legal, and they are trying to make illegals elections.
01:19:48.000
Like, New York is talking about giving 800,000 illegals the vote.
01:19:56.000
I'm sitting here fighting to maintain our democracy and keep our elections legitimate, and then you just make illegals vote?
01:20:27.000
The people I was talking about at the beginning, the Patton Oswalts of the world, the shrill, oppressed, tyrannical minority, the hyper-radicalized liberal, the drag queen story hour people, they're not a formidable force.
01:20:42.000
You'll notice when someone talks shit about you online, like David Cross was talking shit about Jim Brewer, and Jim Brewer confronts him.
01:20:54.000
They say, well, with a bully, you got to eventually take a beating and punch him in the nose.
01:20:58.000
With this bully, you just have to go like this.
01:21:02.000
So it's surprising how little we have to do to take back this country.
01:21:13.000
And maybe, I'm not ending the show, but maybe getting fired for speaking your mind, maybe getting canceled.
01:21:19.000
But, you know, standing up to these people and saying, no, you're not having 800,000 illegals vote in New York City.
01:21:25.000
No, you're not having a pedophile read to my kids.
01:21:29.000
No, you're not brainwashing my child into thinking this country sucks.
01:21:36.000
You're not making my kid dumber at school than he was before he went into school.
01:21:41.000
And you'd be surprised how much leverage you can get.
01:21:44.000
I mean, so many people are sitting back going, there's nothing we can do.
01:21:52.000
So you don't know how you'll fare in a fight until you clench your fist and see if it works.
01:22:05.000
Allow anyone to tell you that it cannot be done.
01:22:13.000
And yet, together, we will make America great again.
01:22:55.000
You know what I really hate about mail, MacMail?
01:23:01.000
I respond to one, and it yanks me back up to the top of the list.
01:23:14.000
Notice how the media and left have slowly devolved into anything that they disagree with is from a person that is far right.
01:23:21.000
They don't even say conservative or right anymore.
01:23:31.000
So as you probably have seen, Kyle from Arizona tracked down the second of three people that have been removed from the FBI most wanted list on Jan 6.
01:23:48.000
He was found online randomly in Arizona, the same state where Ray Epps is from.
01:23:56.000
Side note, I've been trying to track down earpiece wearing barricade breaches since January 6th.
01:24:02.000
This find is nothing short of amazing, and I'm starting to wonder if the rest of the shady individuals are also from the same region.
01:24:51.000
So it starts off with today we confronted an alleged.
01:25:08.000
Today we are going to confront in person another alleged January 6th federal informant who was seen at the Capitol with a firearm and an earpiece.
01:25:16.000
There have only been a total of three names that were quietly removed without any reason from the FBI list, and they refused to comment on it.
01:25:26.000
Today we will confront Luke Robinson, number 343.
01:25:29.000
Luke Robinson was recently identified by my good friend who joins us here today, MJ from the JFK report.
01:25:36.000
Hey guys, the crazy thing is that MJ here actually knows Luke from previous activism done throughout Arizona with our good friend Ethan Schmidt.
01:25:44.000
MJ was indicted for being involved in J6 within 10 days of meeting Luke here in Arizona.
01:25:53.000
Today, MJ and I have set up a sting operation where I will be going undercover to purchase a bicycle from him, and instead we will be asking him questions that everyday Americans want to know.
01:26:03.000
Do you remember that video where there were a little protest going on and you were like, why don't people fight anymore?
01:26:08.000
And they had a sign there and he said, abortion's gay.
01:26:41.000
Did you make a deal with defense to spy on me because you had a fire on you on January 6th?
01:26:54.000
We just want to know what's going on because there's a lot of stuff right now with Ray Epps.
01:27:04.000
Because we knew you were at the Capitol and we weren't sure if...
01:27:13.000
I got charged with a Mr. Mir for creating a picket, and that's a firearm, man.
01:27:18.000
I met you 10 days after the FBI came to my house on April 3rd.
01:27:43.000
Sting in the police, you know, because he's working with the police.
01:27:49.000
Gavin, 1-6 death count is higher than you think.
01:27:51.000
Capital Offense, the ugly truth behind the five deaths from January 6th and 7th.
01:28:03.000
Plus, Michael Stenger, sergeant-at-arms, makes at least 18.
01:28:26.000
Also, John Sullivan, aka Jaden X, that was the Antifa guy who I believe is responsible for Ashley Babbitt's death.
01:28:40.000
He's reporting on Ukraine, remotely, obviously.
01:28:43.000
Likely his release conditions won't allow him to leave the country pending trial.
01:28:47.000
Insurgents USA guy, Antifa BLM, infiltrates by dressing MEGA, recorded Ashley getting shot, was next to Ray Epps.
01:28:58.000
Somrall, who did Writing History, the Journalistic Battle of January 6th.
01:29:03.000
And Jake Lang, who did the truth about January 6th documentary.
01:29:26.000
I thought I'd send him one of my Trump's funniest tweets.
01:29:37.000
I follow a thing where it's all old tweets of his.
01:30:03.000
Just wanted to take a moment to gloat about the fact that I currently have a one-month-old, so I get to smell baby breath all day long.
01:30:17.000
You're a loser because you don't get to hang out with a kid this cute.
01:30:20.000
In all seriousness, this little guy has been such a blessing, and you are exactly right in everything you say about starting a family.
01:30:46.000
Hey, I think this might be the clip you're looking for.
01:31:15.000
I do love him, X. I won with men, but that's not important to me.
01:31:26.000
You do it better than, you know, yet again, I watched the show.
01:31:30.000
This is better when you do the jellyfish, jellyfish, and then you watch it.
01:31:46.000
We're going to get to it, and we're going to get to it.
01:31:48.000
If you really look at it, we're going to get to it in a way that nobody.
01:32:06.000
We're not going to do an introduction or anything.