Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 23, 2024


S5E57 - CORN STARCH AND BLASPHEMY (FREE PART)

Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Jump Medic Asmir Dude Natasha Bedingfield Norm Macdonald Comedy Central Puerto Ricans Anthony Cumia Purple Works Sheila Trump Alex Jon Stewart Mardi Gras Indians Jada Pinkett Smith Stephen Colbert Cannibal Corpse Michael Jackson Richard Spencer and 22 more
S5E55 - MINI EPISODES (FREE PART) S5E60 - FAREWELL JON STEWART (FREE PART)

Episode Stats


Length

50 minutes

Words per minute

164.13

Word count

8,324

Sentence count

960

Harmful content

Misogyny

28

sentences flagged

Toxicity

207

sentences flagged

Hate speech

39

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of the Friday Free Show, Ryan and Gavin are in front of the paywall for 45 minutes, and then they're behind it for another 45 minutes. They talk about a bunch of random stuff, including a coloring book, a new TV show, and some other stuff that's not so random. Plus, they talk about why they don't want to get on the bus right away and why they're glad the bus never comes. They also talk about how they're going to make money off of the coloring book. And then they get into a story about a guy named Big John who makes a book that looks like it could be a hit with the left. And they also discuss why they think it's a good idea to make your own coloring book with Trump's face on it. Also, they discuss the fact that Big John has a brand new book called Trumptastical, which is a book you can color in with colored pencils and turn into a painting. We love the pages of color! We love it. So check it out at The Pages of Color! and don't forget to color in your own Trump coloring pages and make sure to give it to a liberal friend who needs something to make them a birthday present. We'll see you in the next episode of Get Off My Lawn! with Gavin McInnes and Ryan O'Donnell! Subscribe to our new podcast, "Off My Lawn." Subscribe on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe on iTunes. Subscribe on Podchaser, Rate/subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices and more! Like, comment and subscribe to our podcast, and be sure to subscribe to the pod, too, so you can be notified when we're listening to the latest episodes are available on all of our favorite podchips and other cool shows like this week's episodes are featured on the podCast and other places on the web? Subscribe and more like it's trending on social media platforms are mentioned on your favorite pod, and more on this podcast? Subscribe so you don't miss out! and other things going on in the pod is growing? . And we'll be giving you all the best vlogs, too much good vibes, too good to talk about what s going on everywhere else on the internet, and we can help spread the word out there about it's cool, too cool, more like that's cool to be cool, right?

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:10.000 I am waiting on the bus.
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:00:20.000 ...never comes.
00:00:26.000 And I can't feel my hands or feet. 0.60
00:00:34.000 Cos private public transport sucks. 0.98
00:00:42.000 And I am waiting on the bus Says it's here, never comes And I can't feel my hands or feet Cos private public transport sucks 0.97
00:01:29.000 Great band, great guys!
00:01:33.000 From my hometown of Glasgow, Scotland.
00:01:36.000 One of my many hometowns.
00:01:38.000 That is Soapbox.
00:01:41.000 And they are great.
00:01:43.000 Why was the camera in a different spot?
00:01:50.000 Why was it zoomed in a little?
00:01:54.000 How would that happen?
00:01:56.000 Like no one goes over there.
00:01:58.000 Before some interview, or you did maybe with Anthony, or before that, maybe it was, was it not PKA?
00:02:06.000 No, it wasn't PKA.
00:02:07.000 That don't make no sense.
00:02:08.000 I remember we moved it for something, or it got knocked.
00:02:12.000 Oh.
00:02:12.000 Today is the Friday Free Show.
00:02:14.000 We're in front of the paywall for about 45 minutes, and we're behind the paywall for about 45 minutes.
00:02:21.000 It's a fun show that everyone loves, but it's half freeloaders, and I feel weird around them. 1.00
00:02:29.000 The beauty of being behind a paywall is you're with your family.
00:02:32.000 And I don't even have to worry about anything going up on YouTube that I say that's too controversial because YouTube has banned me.
00:02:39.000 So, this is sort of, I feel naked.
00:02:41.000 You know that Louis C.K.
00:02:42.000 bit about the banana?
00:02:44.000 Where he saw a guy who peels a banana from the top to the bottom?
00:02:47.000 He's like, the banana feels so naked.
00:02:49.000 Everyone can see my bruise.
00:02:53.000 There's another soapbox song I included in the opening song notes.
00:02:58.000 That's really good.
00:03:02.000 Right, what are we doing then?
00:03:04.000 Right, you're usually ready, by the way.
00:03:07.000 Let's go. 0.99
00:03:09.000 The fucking bus never comes, by the way. 1.00
00:03:11.000 The rain is lashing down, this pain is lasting now. 0.99
00:03:15.000 Anyway, they're worth checking out.
00:03:28.000 I should get right into the ad reads, though, because the clients like it when you mention them right out of the gate.
00:03:34.000 Right, Ryan?
00:03:35.000 Oh, they love it.
00:03:36.000 They're bananas about it. 0.89
00:03:38.000 They're bruised bananas.
00:03:39.000 Naked bananas about it.
00:03:44.000 Let me check here from the ad guy.
00:03:48.000 So don't read this part aloud.
00:03:50.000 Sorry I got the date wrong.
00:03:52.000 Disregard 3-1 ad mail.
00:03:55.000 Email.
00:03:55.000 Stressed out this week.
00:03:57.000 If you are able to track down the book from Big John, show the book.
00:04:00.000 This is the last ad for the coloring book.
00:04:04.000 And Jump Medic and Purple Works are the same as always.
00:04:07.000 I'm going to try something controversial here, Ryan.
00:04:09.000 Oh.
00:04:10.000 I'm going to try to just wing it.
00:04:13.000 And not use the ad copy.
00:04:15.000 I feel like you could do that.
00:04:17.000 I trust it.
00:04:18.000 So this dude made a coloring book called Trumptastical.
00:04:21.000 It's AI, black and white pictures of Trump you can color in.
00:04:25.000 You can watercolor, very thick paper, one-sided.
00:04:29.000 So you could, you could color it in and then give it as a gift to your friend.
00:04:33.000 You could even frame it.
00:04:34.000 The pages are removable.
00:04:38.000 Again, high-quality paper colored in with what we Canadians call pencil crayons.
00:04:42.000 I believe you call them colored pencils.
00:04:44.000 I do.
00:04:45.000 I would go with watercolor.
00:04:47.000 Why not?
00:04:48.000 Give that to your friend or antagonize, antagonize your liberal friends at the pub with signed copies of it.
00:04:56.000 I mean, you make the picture, you color it in, then you sign it and you give it to the liberal at your local bar.
00:05:00.000 And he gets mad and he rips it up in a rage.
00:05:03.000 And you go, oh man,
00:05:05.000 Now we had a whole box of them and Big John stole them and brought them to the bar to hand out to liberals.
00:05:11.000 That hurts.
00:05:13.000 But we have Trump here to discuss the brand.
00:05:17.000 We sure do, really.
00:05:18.000 We've looked into this book.
00:05:20.000 They call it a book, Gavin, because you can open it.
00:05:22.000 It's like a codex.
00:05:24.000 They call it a codex.
00:05:25.000 It came after the script.
00:05:29.000 What is it?
00:05:29.000 They call it the Scrolls.
00:05:31.000 Have you heard about the Scrolls?
00:05:32.000 You have to unravel them and you have to fold them up like a poster.
00:05:36.000 But we now have a book.
00:05:37.000 It's random access.
00:05:38.000 You can turn to any page you'd like.
00:05:41.000 And that's what we have, and you can color all over the pages.
00:05:44.000 We call it Pages of Color.
00:05:46.000 We love the pages of color!
00:05:50.000 So check it out at Trumptastical.com.
00:05:52.000 I'll turn off this heat.
00:05:54.000 I know you can... I sense you can hear it.
00:05:57.000 And you're all very sensitive, you guys.
00:05:59.000 Someone was chewing, sucking on a candy.
00:06:01.000 I had to shut it down. 1.00
00:06:02.000 Are you all on the fucking spectrum? 1.00
00:06:05.000 Like, calm down. 1.00
00:06:06.000 Do you listen to it with... That's the problem with AirPods.
00:06:10.000 You're putting the podcast right inside of your brain.
00:06:13.000 We don't want to be inside you, you freaks. 0.90
00:06:15.000 Yeah, calm down.
00:06:17.000 Listen to it in the background, you guys.
00:06:19.000 I don't know if this blue...
00:06:24.000 This is an ambitious move, a scarf.
00:06:26.000 That added something.
00:06:27.000 I liked it.
00:06:28.000 Really?
00:06:28.000 I don't like that it matches too closely with the pocket square, but I mean, I don't know anything.
00:06:33.000 Well, I was just going for bombarding you with black and whites, and this, I think, has a, what do you call it, a moiré effect? 0.93
00:06:39.000 Yeah, it does.
00:06:40.000 That's for sure.
00:06:42.000 So, yeah, let's dive right into the show, unless you have something to add, Ryan.
00:06:47.000 I'm just testing out the different, the various moirs of this A. 1.00
00:06:51.000 If you get a jacket like this, like you have one made and you're in TV, you're stupid. 1.00
00:06:57.000 And if you appear on Fox News with a moiré, not only are you stupid, but everyone at the studio is dumb. 1.00
00:07:05.000 Because they didn't realize that you have a pattern that's too dense. 1.00
00:07:08.000 How do you not fucking know that if you're in the industry? 0.89
00:07:11.000 They probably have extra blazers just in case, too, right? 0.97
00:07:14.000 Where it's if somebody wants to wear some offensive blazer or an ill-fitting one.
00:07:17.000 I don't know.
00:07:17.000 I don't think so.
00:07:18.000 That wouldn't make sense.
00:07:18.000 If I had a studio, I'd be like, we got some extra blazers for you.
00:07:21.000 That's amore. 0.98
00:07:22.000 Yeah, but they're going to look ridiculous. 1.00
00:07:25.000 I think you'd rather have amore than a fucking oversized blazer. 0.99
00:07:29.000 She looked like David Bernin talking heads and you're trying to do serious talk about the economy. 0.99
00:07:34.000 Are they going to get Trump's money?
00:07:37.000 Tisha James said she's going to freeze his assets. 0.99
00:07:42.000 And that, it's obviously so he can't run as president.
00:07:45.000 So you donate, you know, say you're super rich, you donate 10 million to him.
00:07:49.000 It goes to his debts.
00:07:50.000 It doesn't go to the campaign.
00:07:54.000 Dirty pool. 0.99
00:07:55.000 Shooting dirty pool, spewing dirty lies. 1.00
00:07:58.000 I talked to the fucking CBC yesterday for six and a half hours. 1.00
00:08:03.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:08:04.000 And it was a documentary.
00:08:05.000 I think the angle might be hipster to Hitler, which is like the go-to thing if you're going to talk about the G-Dog. 0.90
00:08:11.000 So you spend the time saying that that was in context and this isn't right and blah, blah, blah.
00:08:16.000 And that's not, I'm not racist.
00:08:17.000 And proud boys are multi.
00:08:19.000 And so you end up being unfunny.
00:08:22.000 When your pitch is, no, no, I'm a funny guy.
00:08:24.000 That's my thing.
00:08:26.000 And I, I happen to be on the right, but you know, I'm not constantly harping on politics as you can tell from the first 15 minutes of the show.
00:08:36.000 Uh, but when you come across, when you, when you're constantly defending yourself, you're not being amusing.
00:08:41.000 So you can't be you.
00:08:43.000 Like if Norm Macdonald spent an entire video explaining or an entire interview explaining how he's not gay, you'd be like, this Norm Macdonald guy is boring. 0.50
00:08:51.000 That guy was really nice, he gave me a pair of gloves.
00:08:55.000 Yeah, that's not nice.
00:08:56.000 I thought that was very kind, because I actually needed a pair of gloves.
00:08:58.000 He just got dumped, and his girlfriend had given him gloves, and he found them in his bag and thought, I don't want these.
00:09:05.000 I'm kicking myself I didn't recommend the song, um, My Girlfriend's Dead, by the Vandals.
00:09:11.000 You know that one?
00:09:12.000 No.
00:09:12.000 He's like, I once had a girlfriend, and then one day she dumped me, and everyone asked me where she was.
00:09:19.000 I don't wanna talk about her, everyone always asks about her, so I tell them all, my girlfriend's dead.
00:09:27.000 So he didn't kill her?
00:09:29.000 No, he just says she's dead because he's embarrassed. 0.99
00:09:31.000 That's a gay song. 0.96
00:09:33.000 It's pretty good. 1.00
00:09:33.000 I should have killed her. 1.00
00:09:34.000 You don't like the Vandals? 1.00
00:09:35.000 They're like punk.
00:09:36.000 Yeah.
00:09:37.000 I never really got to them.
00:09:38.000 Weren't they Californians?
00:09:39.000 I was always a snob about the West Coast.
00:09:41.000 They might be the Fat Mike kind of ends.
00:09:45.000 People always say to me, if you ever got divorced, do you think you could be friends with your wife's new husband or new boyfriend?
00:09:54.000 And I'm like, why would I be friends with two people at the bottom of the East River?
00:09:58.000 What am I going to do?
00:09:59.000 Put on a scuba suit?
00:10:00.000 Oh, he's a proud boy.
00:10:04.000 Oh wow.
00:10:05.000 That's the different Vandals that I know of.
00:10:09.000 There been more than one Vandals? 0.98
00:10:10.000 I know Vandals is like a fat guy.
00:10:12.000 Maybe there's Vandals and there's The Vandals? 0.67
00:10:14.000 This is The Vandals. 1.00
00:10:16.000 Well that's dumb. 0.99
00:10:18.000 Didn't you Google the name before you came up with it? 0.99
00:10:20.000 Is this pre-Google? 1.00
00:10:22.000 Or even, fuck Google, ask a nerd. 1.00
00:10:26.000 True. 1.00
00:10:26.000 Fuck Google, ask a nerd. 1.00
00:10:28.000 That's a shirt. 1.00
00:10:29.000 Vandals.
00:10:32.000 Germanic people no not them.
00:10:35.000 I'm gonna have to add band.
00:10:36.000 Oh, I guess they were making music way back But who is that young looking guy?
00:10:43.000 Is that that can't be an old video There it was 13 years.
00:10:46.000 I think it happened.
00:10:47.000 I think this came out way before 13 years ago, but it was up No, I remember the Vandals from the 80s here.
00:10:52.000 We go early years 1980 to 84 and
00:10:56.000 And then 84-89.
00:10:59.000 Punk Revival 1990-2000.
00:11:02.000 So I guess they got a new singer or something?
00:11:06.000 That's weird.
00:11:08.000 Got a skinny guy.
00:11:09.000 You can't dump your old fat guy and get a young skinny guy and still be the same band.
00:11:15.000 That's not acceptable. 0.57
00:11:17.000 I think they said that he died.
00:11:19.000 Well he can't die.
00:11:21.000 My daddy will never die, you hear me God?
00:11:24.000 Is that from something, or you made that up?
00:11:27.000 It's Strangers with Candy, where Stephen Colbert, back when he was funny, he says to Amy Sedaris, I know what you're going through, because her dad died.
00:11:36.000 And he goes, I know what you're going through.
00:11:37.000 It's hard.
00:11:38.000 And these are wounds that only time can heal.
00:11:41.000 And she goes, oh, did you lose your daddy too?
00:11:45.000 And he goes, what?
00:11:46.000 No!
00:11:46.000 My daddy will never die!
00:11:48.000 Here it is.
00:11:48.000 But everybody has lost a father.
00:11:51.000 Have you lost your father?
00:11:53.000 Oh, don't even joke about that!
00:11:54.000 My daddy will never die if you hear me, God!
00:11:57.000 Never!
00:12:01.000 That show was so alarmingly high quality.
00:12:06.000 So, as you know, a lot of the Catholics who watch this show are very offended by this segment.
00:12:11.000 They think it's blasphemous because I portray myself as God.
00:12:15.000 And when we spin the wheel, it's fate that decides what we're talking about, right?
00:12:19.000 So isn't that God?
00:12:20.000 So God is running the show.
00:12:23.000 I'm not big on blaspheming God as far as like a taboo.
00:12:26.000 I get the Jesus thing, the Lord's name in vain, but I'm happy with this level of blasphemy is fine. 1.00
00:12:33.000 If you find that offensive, you can suck my dick. 1.00
00:12:36.000 Okay. 1.00
00:12:37.000 What the priest said, it wasn't some like... I don't give a fuck what the priest said. 0.99
00:12:41.000 It wasn't some... he didn't say it was bad. 0.99
00:12:43.000 He just said it was, you know... He can lick my hairy balls. 1.00
00:12:47.000 No, he cannot. 1.00
00:12:48.000 But here's the thing, Life of Chastity, and there's also... Well, that's what's preventing him?
00:12:53.000 He sees my little nuts sitting there in their squid pack, and he's just like...
00:12:58.000 Can't do it, not gonna do it.
00:13:01.000 Chastity, Val.
00:13:01.000 There's more to it than just chastity.
00:13:04.000 You know who wants to lick my balls really badly? 1.00
00:13:07.000 Nobody. 1.00
00:13:08.000 Not one person on earth.
00:13:09.000 I know.
00:13:10.000 Not even my wife.
00:13:11.000 I'm sure there's some weird fan out there that's like, me. 1.00
00:13:14.000 Some dumb, crazy fag, I'm sure. 1.00
00:13:16.000 There's always exceptions. 1.00
00:13:18.000 You know what I thought of the other day? 1.00
00:13:19.000 You know whose balls gay guys want to lick really badly? 1.00
00:13:22.000 Everyone's. 1.00
00:13:23.000 Everyone's balls. 0.99
00:13:24.000 Everyone's balls. 1.00
00:13:24.000 There's not one pair of balls. 1.00
00:13:25.000 Every single person's balls they want to lick. 1.00
00:13:29.000 Don't you think that when you see gays? 1.00
00:13:31.000 Like when we were in Palm Springs, my in-laws would get a chef to cook for everyone in the house.
00:13:36.000 Cool. 0.89
00:13:37.000 And they were always gay. 0.99
00:13:39.000 And this is kind of hard to explain, but there's something greasy about them. 1.00
00:13:43.000 You just think of all the cum and butt-fucking. 0.99
00:13:46.000 Now, it might be that I'm seeing someone like my age and older, like 60, done up. 0.99
00:13:53.000 You know what I mean?
00:13:53.000 Like with a new haircut and thing and like shaved legs and sometimes like one of the guys had his eyebrows like tattooed.
00:14:00.000 So what I might be seeing is an old dude going for it. 0.99
00:14:05.000 And maybe that's the greasiness.
00:14:07.000 And if it was a straight guy who had like a nice shirt on and like his chest hairs trimmed and all that, I'd feel the same greasiness.
00:14:14.000 But man, maybe it's just homophobia.
00:14:16.000 But you look at them sometimes you're like, you've done some things that would give me nightmares.
00:14:22.000 Like last night, probably.
00:14:24.000 Yeah.
00:14:25.000 Like earlier today.
00:14:25.000 Like in the bathroom with your assistant.
00:14:27.000 Right.
00:14:27.000 Ten minutes ago.
00:14:28.000 Yeah, I feel like they don't have any laws.
00:14:30.000 Like, there's no rules.
00:14:31.000 No.
00:14:31.000 It could be on the counter.
00:14:33.000 It wasn't me. 0.98
00:14:34.000 Like, can I poo on your leg? 0.95
00:14:35.000 Okay. 0.99
00:14:36.000 Yeah. 0.93
00:14:36.000 Why don't you throw poo in my... I mean, so it sticks in my hair and then we'll go jogging. 0.93
00:14:41.000 Like, whatever pops into their head.
00:14:45.000 But when you're dating a woman or married to a woman and you have a long-term girlfriend, you say weird things.
00:14:49.000 They're like, no, we're not doing that.
00:14:52.000 Not that I'm dying to poo on people's legs, don't get me wrong.
00:14:54.000 That's a rumor.
00:14:56.000 So, uh... Sorry, I interrupted you a bunch of times?
00:14:58.000 No, that's alright.
00:14:59.000 It was just I thought of something gay that I... that happened.
00:15:02.000 But you forgot?
00:15:03.000 No, I remembered it.
00:15:04.000 So there's this song by Natasha Bedingfield called These Words, and at the end of it... These words are here when I close my eyes.
00:15:14.000 You know, for a second I thought that you knew it, but that's not it.
00:15:17.000 That's not how it goes.
00:15:18.000 No, you're Puerto Rican, and not to interrupt you or anything, but Puerto Ricans are open to anything.
00:15:25.000 They're the only demographic that are like, hey, would you like to listen to death metal or classical?
00:15:30.000 I don't care.
00:15:30.000 That's true.
00:15:31.000 Or children's music.
00:15:32.000 Teletubbies?
00:15:33.000 Sure, yeah.
00:15:34.000 What about Sheila E?
00:15:36.000 Okay, same kind of vibe.
00:15:38.000 Okay, so Teletubbies, Sheila E, and Cannibal Corpse.
00:15:42.000 Same vibe?
00:15:43.000 Whatever. 0.99
00:15:43.000 So where gays are to sex, we are to music. 0.99
00:15:46.000 Music and dating. 0.98
00:15:48.000 Like a 19-year-old Puerto Rican woman will date a 71-year-old. 0.72
00:15:53.000 That's not true for me.
00:15:54.000 Yes it is.
00:15:54.000 I know you won't date a 71-year-old, but they don't care about age.
00:15:59.000 Because the relationship's not going to last anyway.
00:16:00.000 There's literally a salsa song called, Age is just a number.
00:16:05.000 So yes, your theory checks out. 1.00
00:16:06.000 So what is this gay garbage your reeking culture has brought me? 1.00
00:16:10.000 I'm reeking up the place with this song because she's from England, but when she came out with this brand new song, I was like, I want to marry, like I have the hugest crush on her. 0.99
00:16:20.000 And then this part, this line right here, I responded to it when I was on my own.
00:16:27.000 And I was drawing and I was like, yeah, that's okay, Natasha. 0.89
00:16:31.000 What a gay, self-centered story that is. 1.00
00:16:34.000 Who gives a fuck what you mumble to yourself? 1.00
00:16:37.000 I just thought it was embarrassing. 0.99
00:16:38.000 I'm here to change the world with incredible news and talk about Trump being bankrupted out of the race for president.
00:16:47.000 And you're like, I mumbled once when I was drawing.
00:16:50.000 What are you, in half wits?
00:16:51.000 But I meant it.
00:16:52.000 Hi Alex.
00:16:53.000 I mumble when I draw, Alex.
00:16:54.000 It was sincere.
00:16:55.000 I remember being like, that is okay.
00:16:57.000 Oh, how adorable can you get?
00:16:59.000 I don't like that that happened. 1.00
00:17:01.000 Shut up. 0.98
00:17:02.000 Purpleworks Nutrition Pre-Workout is not only great for the gym and boxing. 0.98
00:17:06.000 Oh yeah, we're not doing the actual reads.
00:17:08.000 Purpleworks Nutrition.
00:17:11.000 I'm on it now.
00:17:12.000 I just got back from the gym.
00:17:14.000 I was hitting gloves with a younger African-American person of color and 53 years old.
00:17:21.000 I could see he was getting tired.
00:17:23.000 It's three minute rounds.
00:17:24.000 I could see him like going... And I was just like... And going down and up and stepping in a circle.
00:17:32.000 He's probably like 29 and I would say we were on par together.
00:17:38.000 Also hit the wall bags slip rope some weird thing.
00:17:42.000 They just put up.
00:17:43.000 It's a it's like a Body bag, but it's duct-taped to a pole and then there's a pool noodle coming out almost like a dick So you slip like an arm body shots underneath this thing? 0.52
00:17:55.000 Now, I didn't get to bed till 2 a.m. 0.97
00:17:57.000 last night.
00:17:59.000 May have taken an edible.
00:18:00.000 Woke up not feeling like partying.
00:18:05.000 Purpleworks comes along.
00:18:07.000 The prickles break out.
00:18:09.000 It's a self-induced curse.
00:18:11.000 Hi, Purpleworks!
00:18:13.000 This self-induced curse.
00:18:16.000 But you get the tingles in your hands and you gotta go hit the gym.
00:18:21.000 To get rid of them. 0.81
00:18:22.000 And then you feel fucking great. 0.99
00:18:24.000 It gives you a second wind. 0.82
00:18:25.000 But that's not all they have, of course.
00:18:27.000 They have these coffees.
00:18:31.000 Italian coffees, whether you're into the French press or the bench press, go to Purple Works Nutrition and pick those up.
00:18:37.000 There's a new recipe coming out, I think, for Purple Works. 0.99
00:18:41.000 I'm very happy with this, but I'm kind of a caffeine pussy, I should warn you. 0.97
00:18:46.000 So I don't do an entire scoop with this. 0.98
00:18:49.000 I found out my son was in my cupboard in the kitchen, and my teenage boy, and he had two scoops of raisins in a package of Kellogg's Raisin Bran. 0.99
00:19:00.000 That's dumb, dude. 0.99
00:19:02.000 That's like a pot of coffee. 0.99
00:19:04.000 Dude, make sure he doesn't do any of those challenges because kids on TikTok are doing that.
00:19:09.000 What, as much pre-workout as they can?
00:19:11.000 Yeah.
00:19:11.000 Or like, like snorting it or like just dry eating it.
00:19:14.000 And then like, you know, it's like 500 grams of milligrams of caffeine could potentially cause some heart problems.
00:19:22.000 I have no, I don't know if it's Purple Works Nutrition or just the fact that I've been working out five days a week.
00:19:26.000 But when I look in the mirror in the morning, I'm not bananas about the gut, but like, I think I have shoulders for the first time in my life.
00:19:33.000 I've finally lost the Grover effect.
00:19:36.000 Thanks to working out.
00:19:38.000 So that's purpleworksnutrition.com, enter promo code Gavin for 15% off.
00:19:43.000 Purpleworks likes you more than a friend.
00:19:46.000 Way more than a friend.
00:19:48.000 All right, so I guess we're ready to dive into this, rye guy. 1.00
00:19:52.000 I don't want you to be nervous, I know you're scared.
00:19:55.000 Oh yeah, have you, you know this thing about cornstarch?
00:19:58.000 I know it's ancient Chinese, but black people eat cornstarch. 0.70
00:20:03.000 Ancient Chinese secret.
00:20:05.000 And I just, we got a letter actually recently.
00:20:08.000 Maybe I'll just cheat and jump ahead to it.
00:20:11.000 But it's the kind of thing that you think, well that's just a thing people say. 0.94
00:20:15.000 Because one crazy woman, remember that woman who was, black woman who was eating a mattress? 1.00
00:20:20.000 It was like my crazy life or whatever. 0.99
00:20:23.000 And she was eating the foam from her mattress.
00:20:26.000 You know that show, right?
00:20:27.000 Where people eat weird stuff.
00:20:29.000 So you think it's that kind of thing.
00:20:30.000 But call me,
00:20:33.000 Disconnected with the black world but This is from a guy named never nothing and He goes a few months back. 0.98
00:20:46.000 You showed a video of a black girl eating cornstarch I thought it had to be fake me and my wife even tried a little to taste ours to see what it was like It's fucking gross I assumed at that point that this girl was doing it for views until yesterday when I was at the playground with my kids and a young black girl walked up with a tub of cornstarch and a spoon 1.00
00:21:02.000 Of course she was alone, barefoot, and wearing short sleeves and shorts in 30 degree weather. 0.98
00:21:07.000 I thought to myself, this can't be happening.
00:21:08.000 Maybe she's eating cereal out of it or something?
00:21:10.000 Nope.
00:21:11.000 She had the powder all down her shirt and face. 0.69
00:21:13.000 Another little girl at the playground asked what she was eating with a grossed out look on her face, and the black girl said, my snack! 0.88
00:21:19.000 It's good!
00:21:20.000 She clearly didn't understand that it's strange to eat a spoonful of ingredients.
00:21:23.000 At one point, she even choked on it, coughing out clouds of white powder.
00:21:28.000 She even rubbed her stomach as if to say, that's good stuff.
00:21:35.000 After she recovered from choking. 1.00
00:21:37.000 What the fuck is going on here? 0.99
00:21:38.000 Is it because there's nothing else to eat in their house? 1.00
00:21:40.000 Or are they just trying to be different?
00:21:42.000 Different?
00:21:43.000 I don't know.
00:21:43.000 That's very funny.
00:21:44.000 But I saw, I saw recently on YouTube, some guy and his wife dumping out like a two speakers worth, like old school 70s speakers.
00:21:55.000 Boom! 0.99
00:21:56.000 On the table.
00:21:58.000 And they both start eating it.
00:22:00.000 Maybe I have it in my notes somewhere.
00:22:02.000 I like the theory that they're just trying to be different.
00:22:05.000 They're trying to mix it up.
00:22:08.000 Well, it's definitely different.
00:22:09.000 Oh my God.
00:22:10.000 I don't know if I can handle this.
00:22:10.000 If you look at YouTube, you just put in cornstarch and you go down to shorts, there's like dozens of African-American people of color eating cornstarch.
00:22:21.000 Me and my wife were talking about this and I was like, is it like good and sweet?
00:22:25.000 And she's like, no, it's like flour or something. 0.99
00:22:27.000 It's just suck. 0.98
00:22:28.000 It's like, you know what it is? 0.98
00:22:29.000 It's the texture that they might like.
00:22:31.000 But you get that texture in everything.
00:22:37.000 Yeah, I found it.
00:22:38.000 I found it.
00:22:39.000 Go into racism.
00:22:40.000 It's the second link on the Google Doc.
00:22:45.000 You know what I love about diversity?
00:22:47.000 You get to look into other cultures and see what they're up to, you learn about them, and sometimes, you're stunned.
00:22:55.000 Big pot.
00:22:56.000 This is what I was just talking about.
00:22:57.000 I can just hear it, like, squeaking.
00:23:00.000 This could be really smart.
00:23:02.000 If they do this in the park enough that the police are aware of them, they're like, oh, that's just cornstarch.
00:23:07.000 And then one day, they have a pot.
00:23:09.000 Say hello to my little friend!
00:23:13.000 I've noticed they've stopped eating the cornstarch and are now inhaling it in their nose using a straw.
00:23:18.000 By the way, folks at home, if you do cocaine, I don't think you should, but if you must, do not share straws.
00:23:26.000 Nostrils, most of your bacteria is here.
00:23:29.000 I know these doctors who had this theory that people who don't drink coffee get sick more, because when you drink coffee, I've told you this before, right?
00:23:35.000 You have a hot coffee with caffeine, all that acidic caffeine.
00:23:38.000 You go like this, and the acidic hot caffeine particles go up and kill all the bacteria in your nose.
00:23:44.000 So, like, if you go like this and then go like that to someone else, that's a really dangerous way to spread disease. 0.94
00:23:50.000 I'm not talking about AIDS, like a fucking cold or a flu or COVID. 0.96
00:23:54.000 So, when you do a line and you hand your spoon to someone, you're handing them every cold and flu you've ever had. 0.99
00:24:02.000 Don't do it.
00:24:03.000 Not gonna do it.
00:24:04.000 I don't think you should do lines.
00:24:06.000 I think all coke should be bumps.
00:24:08.000 And it should be with your own key.
00:24:10.000 And you shouldn't do cocaine.
00:24:11.000 Right.
00:24:13.000 They say ASMR.
00:24:19.000 I hate it.
00:24:20.000 I hate the sound.
00:24:21.000 They don't know ASMR, so this is what they say.
00:24:32.000 Boy, we're all very different, aren't we?
00:24:35.000 Asmir!
00:24:37.000 Asmir?
00:24:37.000 Asmir, of course.
00:24:39.000 Maybe that's the Muslim producer who put the movie together? 1.00
00:24:42.000 I think you're gonna get Asmir if you inhale more of that shit. 1.00
00:24:45.000 That sounded like a pun. 1.00
00:24:47.000 No, asthma's a real... I pronounce it cute.
00:24:52.000 Oh.
00:24:54.000 Okay, enough of that.
00:24:55.000 I'm not sure Purpleworks wants that associated with their ad.
00:24:59.000 Cleaning myself off?
00:25:02.000 Water break.
00:25:04.000 It's thickening, right?
00:25:05.000 So maybe it's good to lose weight, because your body thinks you're stuffed.
00:25:10.000 And you ain't.
00:25:13.000 I love you, I love... Was that the I love you, I love you, I love you song?
00:25:16.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:25:17.000 So gay that you know that. 0.97
00:25:19.000 Did you? 0.91
00:25:22.000 Would this be a good time to touch on that other email that shows the differences between the uses of cornstarch?
00:25:28.000 Sure.
00:25:30.000 So somebody noticed that this is what some people might do with cornstarch.
00:25:35.000 There's a. Oh, I remember that.
00:25:37.000 Yeah.
00:25:37.000 Chariot.
00:25:38.000 They made some amazing sculpture with just cornstarch.
00:25:41.000 We can't see it, though.
00:25:41.000 You cropped the best part.
00:25:43.000 What? 0.99
00:25:44.000 Oh, dummy. 0.91
00:25:48.000 Yeah.
00:25:49.000 The top, oh yeah.
00:25:51.000 That top part. 0.99
00:25:52.000 The show is like two of the shitty horses at the front and ignore the skull demon at the back. 0.99
00:25:56.000 Okay. 0.98
00:25:57.000 I think we're ready to begin the show.
00:25:58.000 And the contrast is that.
00:26:01.000 All right.
00:26:02.000 Seems very racist what you're doing and I don't approve.
00:26:04.000 It's an email.
00:26:06.000 We're going to start it.
00:26:07.000 Are you ready?
00:26:07.000 Yep.
00:26:08.000 You can, I think, tell what the subjects are.
00:26:10.000 They're pretty self-explanatory.
00:26:14.000 Well, maybe you should do the God wheel thing first.
00:26:16.000 Oh yeah, okay.
00:26:20.000 The Godwheel!
00:26:24.000 Now we could also do the new audio with the Godwheel graphic.
00:26:28.000 Okay.
00:26:28.000 It's up to you.
00:26:29.000 Let's do the new audio.
00:26:33.000 Oops.
00:26:34.000 Sounds great.
00:26:36.000 Doesn't sound like anything yet.
00:26:38.000 It's loading.
00:26:39.000 Looks like it's caught in the... Okay.
00:26:41.000 ...gears of the machine.
00:26:42.000 I thought we had the internet guy come here and make it...
00:26:54.000 Yeah.
00:26:54.000 Delete that previous one.
00:26:56.000 Forever. 1.00
00:26:58.000 It's garbage. 1.00
00:26:59.000 It needs to die. 1.00
00:27:01.000 Okay. 1.00
00:27:05.000 Maybe this could be the one for spinning the wheel.
00:27:07.000 What do you want us to talk about today?
00:27:10.000 Racism.
00:27:11.000 Okay.
00:27:12.000 Cue the intro.
00:27:14.000 Oh, we do bumpers. 0.99
00:27:15.000 Okay.
00:27:16.000 Yeah.
00:27:17.000 I want the folks at home to know what we do every day.
00:27:20.000 I always thought we were sans bumper.
00:27:22.000 But here we go.
00:27:23.000 Bumping it up.
00:27:46.000 Okay, let's check out this woman who... I talked about this with Kumia on Wednesday. 1.00
00:27:53.000 This woman had her five-year-old daughter helping her wax the vaginas of naked ladies. 1.00
00:27:58.000 This could be in more on kids, too, if we wanted. 0.98
00:28:00.000 And look at the picture they used.
00:28:02.000 Beautician mom arrested after posting... Go back. 1.00
00:28:06.000 Shocking photos of her five-year-old daughter waxing naked women. 0.99
00:28:09.000 So, not only is she inappropriate, but it's sexual assault of a child, and by posting it, we're adding sexual exploitation and kiddie porn. 0.99
00:28:20.000 And that is the picture that they use. 0.96
00:28:23.000 And what is the reality?
00:28:25.000 There she is.
00:28:30.000 That's who did it.
00:28:32.000 Not the lady in the picture.
00:28:34.000 But as I said on Wednesday, I was thinking about this.
00:28:37.000 I can't handle the truth.
00:28:40.000 And, you know, I said on Wednesday, if you had Down syndrome and you were watching commercials and they were all about how your IQ is so low you couldn't be executed and your lifespan usually ends around 40 and you're like 35, you'd go, I just wanted to watch the game and eat some popcorn and drink a beer.
00:28:57.000 This is depressing.
00:29:00.000 So they don't do that.
00:29:02.000 Down syndrome people don't watch that.
00:29:05.000 Similarly, I'm at the point now where I, if I'm totally honest, I want to see a white burglar and black victims on a security ad on TV, because that's not the truth. 0.99
00:29:16.000 And I don't want to deal with the truth after a hard day's work.
00:29:19.000 I want to pretend that crime is equally distributed everywhere.
00:29:23.000 It's more relaxing. 0.89
00:29:26.000 Next in racism, this is Puerto Ricans. 1.00
00:29:29.000 Oh boy.
00:29:30.000 This is your people.
00:29:32.000 Wait, what do you got there?
00:29:33.000 That's one of the pictures.
00:29:35.000 I can't make it out.
00:29:36.000 It looks like a muppet.
00:29:37.000 Those are socks above the child. 0.95
00:29:40.000 Oh, and then the child is right in the vag? 0.89
00:29:42.000 Yeah.
00:29:43.000 Whoa! 0.71
00:29:47.000 Don't go there.
00:29:48.000 Those exact coordinates.
00:29:49.000 Avoid.
00:29:54.000 All the fun.
00:29:54.000 Say it again.
00:29:55.000 Say it again.
00:29:58.000 All right, when I saw this, I was like, John Leibovitz, John Stewart needs to see this.
00:30:04.000 As a New Yorker, this is boring to me.
00:30:06.000 I'm well aware of this.
00:30:08.000 I'm well aware of the Dominican trick. 1.00
00:30:11.000 That's Dominican, dude. 0.94
00:30:12.000 Oh, really?
00:30:13.000 Hell yeah.
00:30:13.000 Okay, the Dominican trick where they go to the grocery store with the food stamps.
00:30:19.000 They fill up a blue bin that's literally the size of a barrel.
00:30:23.000 It is a blue barrel.
00:30:24.000 Think of it as like a keg.
00:30:25.000 No, much bigger than a keg, sorry.
00:30:28.000 It comes up to your waist.
00:30:29.000 Big blue bin.
00:30:31.000 Barrel-shaped bin.
00:30:32.000 They fill it up, they ship it to the Dominican Republic with my money, and then a bodega down there uses it as their inventory and sells it at full price.
00:30:43.000 So I, as a overtaxed New Yorker, am paying for Dominican bodegas. 0.89
00:30:48.000 And I said that on Fox News once and got in big shit for this lie until I just showed like the New York Post article about it. 0.96
00:30:56.000 The grocery stores around this studio here in the South Bronx, 0.96
00:30:59.000 They sell the blue bin there.
00:31:01.000 It's all over the East Village too.
00:31:03.000 The blue bin is at the grocery store.
00:31:05.000 They're like, why go to the post office?
00:31:06.000 We'll handle it.
00:31:08.000 So they label it all up and ship it down.
00:31:11.000 So these scam artists, like when Jon Stewart talks about welfare and food stamps, he has this pie in the sky like, I'm just a little down on my luck.
00:31:20.000 Could you cut me a break, buddy?
00:31:22.000 And it's just scam artists.
00:31:26.000 What's that?
00:31:28.000 Comparing Dominican Republic to Puerto Rico.
00:31:32.000 So you're saying you're better than them?
00:31:34.000 Average income for Dominicans, 9,000.
00:31:38.000 Average for Puerto Rico, 24,000.
00:31:44.000 68 on the scale of 100 of corruption.
00:31:47.000 We're down to 37, which is moderate.
00:31:49.000 It's moderate corruption, I'll admit.
00:31:51.000 Pretty corrupt, but yeah.
00:31:52.000 And then the populations, they have way more people too.
00:31:56.000 Way more corrupt, worse than... Well, at least they're not Haiti. 1.00
00:32:00.000 I'm on public assistance where I receive cash every two weeks and food stamps every month, you heard?
00:32:04.000 I'm on public assistance where I can walk in any New York Denny and order whatever hot food I want.
00:32:08.000 Let me get three chopped cheese and two bacon and cheese today, bro.
00:32:10.000 I'm on public assistance so if I fall behind on my rent, not a big deal.
00:32:13.000 I get a one-shot deal from the government.
00:32:14.000 I'm on public assistance where if I have to pay for my fare, I have the option to go half price on them.
00:32:19.000 $2.90?
00:32:19.000 I'm on public assistance where if I need some extra cash, I just go to my local auction to change some.
00:32:24.000 You can do $100 today, bro?
00:32:25.000 Yeah, I got you.
00:32:25.000 I'll wait right here, bro.
00:32:26.000 Appreciate you.
00:32:27.000 I'm on public assistance, so when it's time to withdraw my cash, I come to Chase to avoid an ATM fee.
00:32:31.000 We all do that.
00:32:32.000 I'm on public assistance, so when times get hard, we just have some more kids just to up our income, you heard?
00:32:37.000 And it's twins.
00:32:40.000 She goes, and it's twins.
00:32:42.000 You got me.
00:32:44.000 Yeah, I've told you this story a hundred times, but we're driving upstate and we're in Harlem, and there's a point where if you're going west, you go under this massive project.
00:32:57.000 And we're driving under it, and my daughter was like three or four, and she goes, what's that?
00:33:02.000 I go, oh, it's public assistance housing, what do they call it?
00:33:07.000 Section 8?
00:33:09.000 Rent stabilized.
00:33:10.000 And she goes, what's that?
00:33:11.000 Oh, it's cheaper, because some people can't afford to live in the city, so the government pays their rent so they can be in the city.
00:33:17.000 And she goes, why?
00:33:19.000 And I know this is a cliche to talk about your precocious child, but I had never thought of that. 1.00
00:33:23.000 Why the fuck? 0.99
00:33:25.000 Do you have the right? 1.00
00:33:26.000 What gives you the right, as they say in Below Deck, to be in the city?
00:33:33.000 No.
00:33:34.000 My commute's an hour.
00:33:35.000 Why is your commute zero? 1.00
00:33:37.000 And you don't even fucking work your own welfare. 0.98
00:33:40.000 So they have these penthouse apartments overlooking the East River for free. 0.98
00:33:45.000 Why?
00:33:45.000 I think it comes from the old aristocrats, like when the Brooklyn Bridge was built and it was so their help could be nearby.
00:33:54.000 Like in Westchester near me, there's a church that was built just for the Irish servants so they could go there.
00:34:01.000 And that's what it comes down to.
00:34:02.000 But then they're not the Irish servants anymore.
00:34:04.000 They're the fourth generation welfare Puerto Ricans and Dominicans. 0.99
00:34:09.000 So it's a fucking turd world mess, isn't it? 0.99
00:34:12.000 All right. 1.00
00:34:12.000 Uh, I like to keep things funny, but these, these subjects are so serious today, but I guess that's God saying, stop fucking around. 1.00
00:34:21.000 He's Scottish, by the way. 0.99
00:34:23.000 Um, this one is, is now it's an email fear of a black Indian planet, right? 0.82
00:34:33.000 And what's that?
00:34:35.000 I noticed this when my wife worked at the American Indian Museum.
00:34:38.000 She'd have an event and there'd just be tons of black people there. 1.00
00:34:42.000 And I guess they're like, yeah, I want to, I want to be this. 0.69
00:34:45.000 So blacks in New Orleans, culturally appropriate Indians, all they want was zero criticism, literally using the words Indians and tribes. 0.81
00:34:54.000 And they're called the Mardi Gras Indians. 0.77
00:34:56.000 Well, that parade has got to be seen to be believed.
00:34:58.000 Like, they wear blackface and they're called the Zulus. 1.00
00:35:02.000 You ever seen that?
00:35:03.000 The only thing that's not textbook blackface is one eye is white, the lips are white, but then one eye isn't. 0.97
00:35:10.000 Mixing it up.
00:35:14.000 And then he said now the NFL hired one of them to create next year's Super Bowl logo Giving further legitimacy to the we was indigenous fiction And then we see the link there and it says For the first time ever the NFL collaborated with local artists in the creation of a Super Bowl logo the artists who created our new logo Taj Williams is the queen of her black masking Indian tribe in New Orleans.
00:35:40.000 That's not a thing
00:35:43.000 This is textbook cultural appropriation.
00:35:48.000 I'm doing beautiful beadwork just like my tribe.
00:35:50.000 You just invented a tribe. 1.00
00:35:53.000 Oh my god, that's fucking gross. 1.00
00:35:55.000 Maybe when black people say you're doing cultural appropriation, they're talking about culturally appropriating. 1.00
00:36:02.000 They're like, that's what we do.
00:36:04.000 We take the culture stuff.
00:36:04.000 Yeah.
00:36:06.000 That logo's super shitty, corny, Liberace garbage. 1.00
00:36:10.000 It looks terrible. 1.00
00:36:11.000 It does look bad.
00:36:12.000 And by the way, the beadwork is cultural appropriation.
00:36:16.000 Like when Indians do it. 1.00
00:36:18.000 They didn't have fucking beads. 1.00
00:36:19.000 They got that from us. 1.00
00:36:20.000 They occasionally found some hollow shells and might make a necklace.
00:36:25.000 But as far as like the intricate beadwork, where do you think they got the beads?
00:36:29.000 Liverpool.
00:36:31.000 Northern England, the factories there, we gave them the beads.
00:36:35.000 So beads and horses, cultural appropriation.
00:36:37.000 Speaking of racism, Beyonce has a new haircare line.
00:36:47.000 As my friend Sebastian said long ago, when he saw her on TV advertising blonde shampoo, he goes, that's not her hair and she can't get it wet. 0.99
00:36:56.000 So, do you see her fucking ridiculous Roger Rabbit look on the Super Bowl? 0.99
00:37:01.000 She looked like the whitest woman that has ever witten. 1.00
00:37:06.000 And now she's telling blondes how to make their hair like hers, which is, which was, yeah, there it is in the right. 1.00
00:37:12.000 Her hair was forcibly removed from an Indian 10-year-old.
00:37:16.000 Wait, where'd you go?
00:37:17.000 I said the top right, right there.
00:37:19.000 Oh, top right.
00:37:20.000 Yeah, left is, there you go.
00:37:25.000 Her deeply personal hair journey?
00:37:27.000 You mean spending hundreds of thousands of dollars having dyed Indian woman, Indian girl's hair, weaved into your own?
00:37:36.000 I'll trade my psoriasis, Jesus.
00:37:39.000 Another one of these Jada Pinkett Smiths. 0.73
00:37:41.000 You know, they pull it back so much they rip it out and then they complain.
00:37:48.000 Not alopecia, right?
00:37:50.000 Oh, yeah.
00:37:51.000 What's psoriasis?
00:37:53.000 Psoriasis is like a skin thing.
00:37:54.000 Oh, that's like dry flaky skin.
00:37:56.000 Yeah.
00:37:57.000 Dude, this is a trend. 1.00
00:37:58.000 I don't want to fuck her anymore. 1.00
00:37:59.000 Going back to Michael Jackson, where he said he had a skin condition. 1.00
00:38:02.000 That's why I'm like white now, because I have a skin condition. 0.65
00:38:05.000 And then she's like, I have a skin condition.
00:38:07.000 Jada Pinkett Smith is like, I got a skin condition.
00:38:09.000 Just do your hair white.
00:38:11.000 Just be black and be proud.
00:38:14.000 You got your natural.
00:38:15.000 Alright, uh, 30... She looks like one of the Jenners there. 1.00
00:38:19.000 Alright, so we gotta quit now.
00:38:21.000 We have to stop talking about important news like Beyonce's hair.
00:38:26.000 This is another annoying thing with the CBC.
00:38:27.000 They're like, when did you become a Nazi?
00:38:29.000 And they had theories like you hit your head, uh, when you were, you got knocked out boxing or your marriage fell apart and you're mad at the world.
00:38:38.000 I'm like, I'm not divorced.
00:38:40.000 So you have psoriasis and alopecia.
00:38:42.000 Or your in-laws support you. 1.00
00:38:43.000 You're just like this pathetic podcaster that makes no money and your in-laws pay for everything. 1.00
00:38:49.000 Um, I've always thought, 0.99
00:38:52.000 Like, I haven't dipped into my savings ever, but the cost of living up in Westchester with three kids, it's like a thousand bucks a day. 0.97
00:39:03.000 It's fucking insane. 0.74
00:39:05.000 So if someone else was paying my bills, they would start to get pissed pretty quick. 0.99
00:39:09.000 Pretty annoyed.
00:39:11.000 So we're gonna, oh, we gotta finish the advertisers.
00:39:14.000 Sorry, what am I talking about, bro?
00:39:16.000 Crazy talk, man. 1.00
00:39:17.000 That's fucking psychotic talk. 1.00
00:39:19.000 Well, I can still lace it through, 1.00
00:39:21.000 The final vid and everything.
00:39:28.000 Jump Medic! 0.98
00:39:31.000 And we're going to try to read outside the box with this one.
00:39:34.000 We're not following the ad copy.
00:39:36.000 We'll see if our ad guy gets pissed.
00:39:39.000 So you go to the gym.
00:39:40.000 What's there?
00:39:41.000 If you go by the bathrooms in the back, there's a first aid kit.
00:39:44.000 Go to a restaurant, there's a first aid kit.
00:39:46.000 In your RV, you have a first aid kit.
00:39:48.000 Every home should have a first aid kit, right?
00:39:50.000 That's established.
00:39:51.000 We agree on that.
00:39:52.000 You have to have a first aid kit. 0.94
00:39:53.000 Sorry, my nose is so fucking itchy. 0.67
00:39:55.000 It's got to be a hair. 0.66
00:39:56.000 I think my whiskers turn up and then tickle the inside of my nose.
00:40:01.000 So we've established you need a first aid kit.
00:40:04.000 Okay, why not work with someone who's a fellow baby monster.
00:40:08.000 This guy is EMT.
00:40:10.000 He's designed his own bag.
00:40:12.000 There's this, there's the hardshell one, the super fancy one.
00:40:15.000 And you go, oh, the hardshell one, $149, that's too expensive.
00:40:19.000 Oh, okay, so you're not serious about having a first aid kit.
00:40:22.000 What's your budget?
00:40:24.000 Oh, like $50.
00:40:26.000 Okay, we have that bag at Jump Medic.
00:40:29.000 We have the most bare bones kit that you would take for a road trip on your motorcycle.
00:40:35.000 And then we have the hard shell super case that you would use if you're fixing your survival shelter.
00:40:44.000 And everything in between.
00:40:46.000 So logically, there's no reason not to go to JumpMedic.com and use the code RyanSucks for 10% off because you know you need a first aid kit and you might as well get it from someone who's one of us.
00:41:00.000 And third, the price ranges go from almost nothing to super fancy pants.
00:41:05.000 So they have every kind of first aid kit you can have.
00:41:08.000 I don't see the logic, the hole in the logic here.
00:41:11.000 Do you?
00:41:16.000 JumpMedic.com, promo code RyanSucks, 10% off.
00:41:20.000 You're... You're defying logic.
00:41:23.000 If you don't buy one there.
00:41:25.000 Uh, alright.
00:41:26.000 I was gonna get to the mailbag.
00:41:28.000 Oh, good thing you interrupted the song.
00:41:33.000 Uh, the show, sorry, to crowbar that in.
00:41:36.000 They asked for it.
00:41:37.000 You don't have any cute little things you mumbled when you were drawing?
00:41:40.000 No.
00:41:41.000 Well, tell us about him, because I was going to get to the letters page, unless you had more to add.
00:41:46.000 Oh, well, another thing is during the commercials of Comedy Central, they would have different entertainers say, hey, you're watching Comedy Central.
00:41:56.000 And the one that Brendan Fraser did, he said, Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:42:03.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 0.95
00:42:10.000 Let me touch it.
00:42:12.000 What'd you think of the Cops and Robbers show last night?
00:42:15.000 I thought it was good.
00:42:16.000 Why?
00:42:18.000 Well, I think that it had a good pace.
00:42:21.000 It was kind of like quick.
00:42:21.000 There was a lot of videos.
00:42:23.000 We stuck to the material, but there was plenty of commentary to be had on each and every one.
00:42:27.000 And then there was like that really funny one that we went in a long time with.
00:42:30.000 What the heck was that?
00:42:32.000 Yeah, that's a car crash guy where he slipped through the that was exhilarating it was exhilarating and funny where the guy stole the cop car and then it was sad because he It was tragic because he died he died Well, the way he died was they had one of those long strips that has the spikes on it that pops your tires Is what they did, right?
00:42:53.000 I don't know.
00:42:54.000 Like on the one hand, I'm one of these no tolerance guys.
00:42:56.000 It's like someone steals your bicycle in your garage, blow their head off with a 30 odd six.
00:43:01.000 But on the other hand, like I feel they would have got that guy.
00:43:05.000 He's in a cruiser.
00:43:06.000 So I don't know.
00:43:08.000 You're going to find him.
00:43:09.000 But then on the other hand, you don't, you want to send a message to other perps that you shouldn't steal a squad car. 1.00
00:43:18.000 Pre-lunch, I'm sure before lunch, I'm like, fucking kill him. 1.00
00:43:22.000 I want him to die. 1.00
00:43:23.000 Post-lunch, eh, we can work it out. 1.00
00:43:26.000 He could have killed many other people in a high-speed pursuit.
00:43:29.000 That's the thing.
00:43:30.000 Yeah, but they don't... How often do you see those little spiky things come out?
00:43:36.000 Not often.
00:43:36.000 I think they did the right thing because they limited the amount of damage that could have happened.
00:43:40.000 Like, if they went on a chase and they're trying to catch... No, if you want to get into limiting damage, I mean, a man died.
00:43:44.000 That's true.
00:43:46.000 Someone sent us this thing you were right and it's Brett Easton Ellis of American Psycho describing his boyfriend who I met
00:44:01.000 And the guy wasn't a fan of me.
00:44:03.000 He was sort of like, oh great, who's next?
00:44:05.000 Richard Spencer's gonna come over for lunch?
00:44:08.000 He made a comment like that, and I thought, you don't like me?
00:44:13.000 That can't be based on merit or being perceptive.
00:44:17.000 You must be having some problems.
00:44:19.000 And I was right.
00:44:20.000 What happened on part last week in West Hollywood affected a lot of people.
00:44:23.000 For a long time I was simply blind, not grasping it.
00:44:27.000 Drug addiction has affected my family.
00:44:29.000 My sister died last August at 53.
00:44:33.000 My father's struggles with alcoholism led to his death at 50. 1.00
00:44:35.000 Holy shit. 0.99
00:44:37.000 And my partner of 14 years has been in its increasing grip for the last decade. 0.99
00:44:41.000 See if you can look them up, him and his partner.
00:44:43.000 He was arrested and is now in lockdown in a psych ward.
00:44:46.000 Still days later, unaware of where he is or why he's there.
00:44:51.000 What drug do you think that is?
00:44:53.000 I'm wondering if people are getting crazy addicted to Adderall and it's the same level of tweaker that we had with the speed addicts in San Francisco in the sixties and seventies.
00:45:06.000 There's a thin line between loving someone and enabling them if you don't realize fully until it smacks you in the face.
00:45:10.000 Blah, blah, blah.
00:45:11.000 I kicked Todd out of the condo.
00:45:12.000 We shared and demanded he place himself in recovery facility for three and a half months, which he did grudgingly forced by me because he had no other options left.
00:45:21.000 But recovering addicts have told me that they had to make the decision to get help.
00:45:24.000 Being forced by others never worked.
00:45:25.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
00:45:29.000 It's a funny little guy.
00:45:31.000 Oh, that looks totally different than the guy we just saw.
00:45:34.000 Young Anthony Cumia.
00:45:37.000 Put a hat on that guy?
00:45:38.000 That does not.
00:45:38.000 That does not.
00:45:40.000 Todd has always been someone I thought was eccentric and erratic, but functioning.
00:45:43.000 Due to our age difference, we live semi-separate lives.
00:45:46.000 Anyway, that's some juicy gossip.
00:45:49.000 Guy who doesn't like me is in a psych ward.
00:45:58.000 Friendly Jordies went against the government.
00:46:01.000 Oh, that's that youtuber we were talking about who had his house firebombed and we didn't have a lot of information about it.
00:46:08.000 Hey guys, a bit of context with the Friendly Geordie's guy's house burning down.
00:46:10.000 He went against Dan Andrews, this is in Australia, the Victoria State Premier, Governor, who is a staunch lefty authoritarian that ruled with an iron fist over the state during the COVID hoax.
00:46:21.000 I reckon it's related to his house burning down.
00:46:24.000 Melbourne, Victoria is the lefty hellhole of Australia.
00:46:27.000 Think Portland, probably done by the Antifa of Australia or perhaps even the Australian state intelligence regime.
00:46:35.000 Yeah, what a juicy, him and Turtle Boy are like the juiciest gossip these days as far as journalism, journalists getting attacked and prevented from doing their jobs.
00:46:47.000 All right, we're out of time for the free show.
00:46:50.000 I try to do this timing perfectly, it never seems to work out.
00:46:55.000 So now we're going to go to the final video.
00:47:00.000 Now Ryan, you're gonna have to go to the doc final video.
00:47:03.000 Yeah.
00:47:04.000 In order to do this you might as well start the ahhh rap thing though.
00:47:23.000 Okay, for some reason I wrote at the end of this.
00:47:25.000 I'm constantly at work.
00:47:28.000 So if I wake up at 4 in the morning, I look at Twitter and social media and the news and I find an article and send it to myself. 0.86
00:47:35.000 So sometimes I'm half asleep and I guess I didn't time code this because I'm stupid and was exhausted.
00:47:41.000 But the very last video here, I can find the time code now.
00:47:46.000 It is so brutal.
00:47:48.000 So Ryan, it's at 204.
00:47:51.000 Make sure it takes as much of the screen as it can. 1.00
00:47:54.000 This fucking idiot. 1.00
00:47:57.000 I think he's British. 1.00
00:47:58.000 I couldn't find the news story associated with this. 0.97
00:48:01.000 He climbs up a fucking power tower right next to the Transformer and he notices that if you put your hand near the coils or whatever, you can sense the electricity and that feels cool. 0.97
00:48:15.000 And then he wants to experience that feeling more. 0.98
00:48:17.000 So he keeps pushing it. 0.95
00:48:20.000 This is the eating cornstarch for white people. 0.99
00:48:24.000 Wait, I don't want you to crop the bottom because the bottom is very important.
00:48:27.000 The top is less important than the bottom.
00:48:29.000 In fact, you could zoom in a bit.
00:48:32.000 And you got the audio too?
00:48:34.000 Yes.
00:48:35.000 This is amazing. 0.99
00:48:36.000 Dude, I can feel that shit right now. 1.00
00:48:39.000 Turn it up. 1.00
00:48:40.000 Oh my God.
00:48:42.000 My hair is standing up. 1.00
00:48:47.000 Dude, what the fuck? 0.99
00:48:49.000 What? 1.00
00:48:52.000 Oh! 0.60
00:48:53.000 Oh my god.
00:48:54.000 Wait, someone's dizzy?
00:48:57.000 Woo! 0.99
00:48:57.000 Dude, that was some... That looked fake for a nanosecond. 0.99
00:49:11.000 What do you think?
00:49:13.000 I think it's real.
00:49:16.000 Oh my goodness. 1.00
00:49:19.000 He's not a pussy, I guess. 1.00
00:49:21.000 That's the good part. 0.99
00:49:23.000 All right, so that's the end of our free thing.
00:49:25.000 Nita Fashions is back on tour.
00:49:28.000 If you go there, I might do a sit-down where we get fitted together, like a meet and greet.
00:49:37.000 Pay a little bit extra, and we'll hang out, we'll drink whiskey together, and have like a special sesh.
00:49:45.000 And that would be in March.
00:49:48.000 Yeah, so they're in Australia now.
00:49:50.000 They're in USA March 16th, March 18th.
00:49:54.000 You can find them on Instagram.
00:49:56.000 Set up an appointment or meet them in person.
00:49:57.000 Boston.
00:49:58.000 So New Jersey, Boston, New York, DC, Miami, and then a bunch of Florida.
00:50:03.000 So check out their schedule.
00:50:04.000 Book an appointment with them.
00:50:05.000 It's fun.
00:50:07.000 And, uh, until next Friday, you freeloaders, you're wasting... I don't know what you're doing.
00:50:12.000 This is endless, hilarious content.
00:50:14.000 We don't miss any news stories, so you get bombarded with important information, and you get to laugh and relax and realize you're not alone in Clown World.
00:50:22.000 My show is the tip of the iceberg. 0.99
00:50:24.000 There's new shit every single day, and we don't just barf shit out. 0.99
00:50:27.000 Like, we have well-prepared things. 0.99
00:50:30.000 Like our aviation special on Tuesday where we meticulously went through all the latest disasters in the sky and why they're there.
00:50:39.000 Until next time folks, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.