Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 29, 2024


S5E72 - MR GOOD LUCK (FREE PART)


Episode Stats

Length

51 minutes

Words per Minute

161.95343

Word Count

8,346

Sentence Count

800

Misogynist Sentences

41

Hate Speech Sentences

52


Summary

Gavin McInnes talks about his relationship with his biological father, why he doesn t have a dad, and why he went to Hawaii to be with his other kids. He also tells a story about a woman who thinks she can suck your nuts, and a letter from a girl named Clem who wants us to know if she can do the same. Also, a new kind of pasta and a new type of pasta! Get off my lawn! Get Off My Lawn! is a podcast hosted by and . featuring , , and on the first episode of Season 2 of . Get On My Lawn is a new podcast from New York, New York where we talk about music, food, and other things related to pop culture. Get on my lawn with us! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Retweet this episode on whatever platform you're listening to it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and/or wherever else you re listening to this podcast. Thank you for listening and share the podcast! if you re a podcaster, please tell a friend about what you think of the podcast and what you like about it. or share it on your social media! and we'll send it to a friend! Thank you! :) XOXOz. XOz, xo, Xo, XOZ, , XOzz, xOz , , xoZ, xo , etc, etc. , etc., etc. - Thank you, etc., - P.R. - XO, - etc. - Xoe, XoX, etc., XOX, etc.. - XoE, XOXOX, etc, & so on this podcast, etc... - EJ, etc etc. etc. <3 - - YOZ - R. & ZOZOZ & XOOZY, etc - etc. ( ) - SOOO (Thank you, R. & P. & RYOX & R.J. & JB & RJ & RK,


Transcript

00:00:02.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:31.000 You know, one of the problems of being named Gavin and having the same name as Gavin Newsom is when someone like this guy, Grant McDonald, I believe his name is, when he, uh,
00:01:01.000 Does a diss track.
00:01:03.000 He's a homosexual from the East Coast of Canada.
00:01:06.000 And when he does a diss track describing sexually molesting Mr. Newsome, I hear suck my dick, Gavin.
00:01:13.000 Spread your butt cheeks, Gavin.
00:01:16.000 Gavin type things.
00:01:18.000 And it's confusing to me.
00:01:20.000 As you can see.
00:01:22.000 So just say Mr. Newsome next time you're doing a song like that.
00:01:29.000 You ever come across that problem, Ryan?
00:01:31.000 Yeah, that song, Shut Up, Ryan, You Don't Have a Dad.
00:01:35.000 Oh, yeah.
00:01:35.000 Two coincidences in one song.
00:01:37.000 Well, your face is featured in the video.
00:01:40.000 I think it is about you.
00:01:43.000 Three coincidences.
00:01:45.000 Shall we go to the mailbag?
00:01:47.000 Yes.
00:01:48.000 Okay, unless you want to add something.
00:01:50.000 Oh, yeah, I would love to add something.
00:01:52.000 All right, let's do that.
00:01:54.000 And what I'm adding is speech, so I'll be saying something.
00:01:57.000 What are you saying?
00:01:59.000 I want to jump the gun.
00:02:02.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:02:07.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
00:02:10.000 Let me touch it.
00:02:13.000 I was reading the terms and services before I clicked.
00:02:16.000 Yeah, that's definitely about you.
00:02:18.000 I wasn't paying attention.
00:02:20.000 You're in the car with your dad.
00:02:22.000 I was talking though.
00:02:23.000 People have asked me about that.
00:02:24.000 What was that?
00:02:25.000 A road trip?
00:02:26.000 Was that him leaving?
00:02:27.000 No, that wouldn't be chronologically correct.
00:02:30.000 Because when he found out I was gay, it would have been earlier.
00:02:33.000 Right.
00:02:34.000 He found the gay gene.
00:02:35.000 Yes.
00:02:36.000 The gay-gen.
00:02:37.000 Gay-gen.
00:02:38.000 What was that?
00:02:39.000 You just driving around LA or something?
00:02:41.000 Yeah, I went out to visit him.
00:02:44.000 I don't know, maybe eight to ten times.
00:02:49.000 Didn't you go to visit him once and he was like, ah, I'm kind of busy?
00:02:51.000 Yeah, he had to go to Hawaii.
00:02:54.000 Did you not tell him you were coming?
00:02:57.000 I think it was kind of like the window of time to accept and they wouldn't have been able to go back and he's a big surf guy and then he only sees his kids, his other two kids, the less important ones.
00:03:08.000 He's got small windows of time so he had to jump on that and I understood.
00:03:11.000 I said, hey,
00:03:12.000 You know.
00:03:12.000 So you already had a planned trip to visit him and he's like, oh sorry Ryan.
00:03:16.000 Mine was pretty last minute too.
00:03:18.000 So that's why I was like... I have to go to Hawaii to be with my other kids.
00:03:22.000 So something wrong with that.
00:03:24.000 Something was wrong with that.
00:03:25.000 So what did you do?
00:03:25.000 You just drove around L.A.
00:03:26.000 and went to like malls and stuff?
00:03:27.000 Yeah, I have friends out there.
00:03:28.000 Brittany Macar... I guess I won't say her full name.
00:03:31.000 Brittany Macaroni?
00:03:32.000 Too late.
00:03:33.000 Yes, Brittany Macaroni.
00:03:34.000 She invented a type of pasta.
00:03:36.000 I forgot what type.
00:03:36.000 I think it was... Penne.
00:03:38.000 Penne.
00:03:38.000 Yeah.
00:03:39.000 Yeah, I remember.
00:03:41.000 And my buddy Brian, and we got a lot of friends out there.
00:03:45.000 We got like a little mini life out there, because I lived there for like two months.
00:03:48.000 I had a job, I had a bicycle, so it was pretty intense.
00:03:52.000 What was your job?
00:03:53.000 Riding a bicycle.
00:03:54.000 No, it was Lemonade, you know the story?
00:03:56.000 I know Lemonade, yeah.
00:03:59.000 No, not the drink.
00:04:00.000 Lemonade is a Southern California comfort food thing.
00:04:03.000 It's almost like Subway.
00:04:04.000 The way you line up and you pick what you want on the thing.
00:04:08.000 But it's very good food.
00:04:09.000 It's pretty expensive.
00:04:11.000 Lemonade.
00:04:12.000 Okay.
00:04:13.000 That's a great story.
00:04:14.000 And that was in... Here's a letter from a guy named Clem who wants us to know about a woman who is threatening to suck on some nuts.
00:04:22.000 That's gross.
00:04:23.000 I think she's joking.
00:04:26.000 Lemonade.
00:04:27.000 Oh, okay.
00:04:28.000 Looks nice.
00:04:29.000 Lots of nice foods.
00:04:30.000 Yeah, but nobody cares.
00:04:31.000 No one cares.
00:04:31.000 Okay, okay.
00:04:33.000 Let's get to the first letter here at the letters page.
00:04:36.000 Weird black creature threatens to suck nuts.
00:04:40.000 Which is not a threat.
00:04:43.000 It's, it's, it's flirting is what it is.
00:04:46.000 She's flirtatious.
00:04:47.000 That's how you bitch a boy up!
00:04:48.000 You come through real tough!
00:04:50.000 I suck your nuts, nigga!
00:04:52.000 I suck your nuts!
00:04:55.000 I suck your nuts!
00:04:58.000 Just having some fun.
00:04:59.000 And you know it!
00:05:02.000 I'm the truth!
00:05:06.000 I suck your nuts!
00:05:08.000 You scared, ain't you?
00:05:10.000 You scared to get your nuts sucked, ain't you? $25?
00:05:20.000 That's a lot of filth.
00:05:30.000 A lot of filth.
00:05:30.000 Very rude.
00:05:32.000 You know what, like, you know, bipolar is like, you're in a good mood, then an angry mood.
00:05:36.000 Black people seem to have that switch, like, it's pretty instantly.
00:05:38.000 It's like five seconds of happy, five seconds of
00:05:41.000 Well, whenever I hear about microaggressions, like someone will say, oh, I'm Asian and they asked if I was good at math.
00:05:46.000 I'm like, have you been on public transit?
00:05:48.000 I mean, we get macroaggressions every five minutes.
00:05:54.000 Just yesterday, they pushed a guy onto the tracks, killed him.
00:05:59.000 Speaking of which, speaking of dangerous times and needing to protect yourself, there's a woman in New York who's famous for chaining herself to a pole when she gets to the subway platform so they can't push her off.
00:06:10.000 And then of course when the train shows up she quickly gets the combination right and gets on.
00:06:16.000 On March 11th, the emergency funding for banks, the bank term funding program expired.
00:06:20.000 This means that there are no funds for failing banks and other banking crises.
00:06:24.000 Could very well be a Pawn, as prices have been insane at the grocery store and at the gas station, and now the Baltimore Bridge collapse could have even more long-term supply chain repercussions.
00:06:33.000 Additionally, China and Russia have convinced much of the world to use their currencies to purchase oil instead of the U.S.
00:06:39.000 dollar.
00:06:39.000 That is a huge deviation from the U.S.
00:06:41.000 petrodollar that has been dominant since post-World War II.
00:06:45.000 This exodus from the US dollar means we will have to print money out of thin air and cause even more inflation.
00:06:51.000 The economy will suffer, so KEPM wants you to take advantage of this trend and reposition your retirement assets into physical precious metals.
00:06:59.000 You can even do this with your IRAs.
00:07:01.000 Not all silver and gold are created equal, nor are precious metals
00:07:06.000 Metals dealers, Kirk Elliott Precious Metals, sells only bullion bars and coins.
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00:07:27.000 Dr. Kirk Elliott has been in this industry since 2002.
00:07:32.000 And he's a great choice when it comes to investing into physical gold and silver.
00:07:36.000 Call Kirk Elliott Precious Metals at 720-605-3900 or go to KEPM.com slash censored to start the process of safeguarding your retirement assets.
00:07:53.000 Look, don't put all your money in precious metals.
00:07:56.000 That's rash.
00:07:58.000 But put some.
00:08:00.000 Have some.
00:08:01.000 Be safeguarded.
00:08:02.000 Have a generator at your house that you can flick on when there's a power shortage.
00:08:08.000 Have a first aid kit, like Jump Medic, lying around.
00:08:13.000 And while you're getting all of these necessities, make sure that they're patriotic MAGA people.
00:08:21.000 Like our guys who do the Gavin emergency food supply.
00:08:27.000 I wanted to jump to some more on kids, if I may.
00:08:33.000 Ryan, why don't you play the interstitial for that particular thing?
00:08:35.000 I sure can and will, Gav.
00:08:37.000 That would be great.
00:08:38.000 I haven't done that in a while.
00:08:45.000 We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
00:08:51.000 Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrines.
00:09:01.000 So do you know this hippie chick Shannon Blake?
00:09:05.000 S-H-A-N-I-N.
00:09:07.000 Probably a Jewish broad.
00:09:09.000 And she's famous for the ayahuasca video.
00:09:12.000 I am vibing all inside.
00:09:14.000 Smiley face.
00:09:15.000 I am vibing inside with my ayahuasca LSD.
00:09:19.000 Is it the voices or the mushrooms?
00:09:21.000 I don't know why.
00:09:22.000 Yeah.
00:09:24.000 They call her a trust fund kid and the story with her.
00:09:26.000 She was a normal Jewish broad.
00:09:27.000 I'm making up Jewish could be wrong and She got pregnant she decided to keep the baby her homeboy went to prison.
00:09:37.000 I don't think he was black and She started doing this stupid music and she kept her kid Excuse me and now she's like an OnlyFans whore and
00:09:51.000 And it's sort of seen as a positive feminist thing.
00:09:54.000 I think she has a lot of young female fans, which is disturbing because she promotes pornography.
00:10:00.000 And when she brings her kid into it, she's sort of normalizing quote unquote sex work.
00:10:05.000 Dear single parents, when I was 18, I got pregnant with my daughter and her dad went to prison right after she was born.
00:10:09.000 So I was on my own.
00:10:10.000 Most of my family disowned me and told me that I just threw away my music career, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:15.000 She should have gotten an abortion.
00:10:17.000 I'm not saying that they wanted her to, I mean,
00:10:19.000 After she was born, I tried working at Best Buy, Boys and Girls Club, plant stores.
00:10:24.000 My daughter was in daycare all day long.
00:10:26.000 I was so depressed.
00:10:27.000 I trusted my intuition over anyone's opinion.
00:10:29.000 I sold everything I owned, bought a minivan, and moved me and my daughter in backpacks to California to work on weed farms.
00:10:36.000 So, you know, it's a very mild version of turning to drugs and prostitution after your baby daddy goes off to prison.
00:10:45.000 But I think it's funny how our culture glorifies it.
00:10:49.000 When she's a seemingly alternative, like the left, thinks that's cool.
00:10:56.000 I think it's profoundly sad.
00:10:57.000 I don't blame her.
00:10:58.000 I will say.
00:11:02.000 Best Buy or prostitution and I make like 50 grand a month or something, my child's provided for.
00:11:08.000 It's fucking sad that those are her options.
00:11:12.000 Wait, what's this?
00:11:13.000 Oh, this is before she became gross?
00:11:18.000 It's an attractive woman in there.
00:11:18.000 Yep.
00:11:21.000 It's definitely her because the other songs are her looking like I guess like Shakira's final form.
00:11:29.000 Before what?
00:11:30.000 Before she turns into the earth.
00:11:33.000 Well go to one six, is that one six you just showed?
00:11:37.000 Nah.
00:11:38.000 Oh the last one?
00:11:39.000 Yes.
00:11:40.000 Then go to one seven.
00:11:40.000 Yeah.
00:11:41.000 Then there's a thread there too.
00:11:43.000 Oh that's her.
00:11:45.000 Unfathomably annoying boyfriend.
00:11:51.000 I mean, what's worse than that?
00:11:53.000 Satan himself?
00:11:54.000 Who would you rather have dinner with, him or Baphomet?
00:11:59.000 It'd be a tough call.
00:12:00.000 Assuming he doesn't get my soul and he can't burn me.
00:12:03.000 Like with... I'd just burn my face off and we can have a normal dinner.
00:12:07.000 I don't know.
00:12:09.000 I think it would be a coin toss.
00:12:11.000 I'd be scared about the devil tricking me.
00:12:13.000 Or maybe we'd get into some sort of banjo competition.
00:12:17.000 Oddly enough, he's got a Baphomet-type upside-down star thing.
00:12:22.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:22.000 See that?
00:12:23.000 By the way, Baphomet isn't the devil.
00:12:25.000 He was rumored to be worshipped by the Templars as a pagan god, but Satanists took it over because he looked badass.
00:12:34.000 Oh, I see.
00:12:35.000 We were Satanists once for the Christmas card, and I made the text all about differentiating between Baphomet and Satan.
00:12:41.000 I'd already forgotten the bullshit, they believe.
00:12:47.000 That when you see a situation like this, you should feel bad for the broad.
00:12:51.000 And be like, we, you and I drove this mom to prostitution.
00:12:57.000 And that's what it is.
00:12:59.000 What's 1-8?
00:12:59.000 Oh shit, she was like really normal.
00:13:02.000 I mean, comparatively.
00:13:03.000 Have you ever seen this?
00:13:05.000 No.
00:13:06.000 Who's the idiot who went to prison?
00:13:07.000 This was five years ago.
00:13:08.000 In five years she went from like a normal girl next door six to whatever she is now.
00:13:15.000 Like a Mars seven.
00:13:21.000 So it's like folky, like Coco Rose-y almost.
00:13:23.000 Are you caught up with 1-8?
00:13:51.000 Yeah, there she is.
00:13:52.000 Totally normal, healthy girl.
00:13:55.000 We're living in a sick society.
00:13:56.000 This is a mom.
00:13:57.000 This daughter's exposed to what used to be a beautiful woman and is now... I want you to get to the whore picture.
00:14:03.000 1-9, I think she's still healthy.
00:14:08.000 Yeah.
00:14:09.000 Maybe if you start with 1-7 and scroll up, you can see what she does now.
00:14:17.000 Oh yeah, there we go.
00:14:17.000 So that's the first picture.
00:14:18.000 That's your mom.
00:14:20.000 You're eight, you live in a van, and that's your mom.
00:14:26.000 Sunshine 999.
00:14:28.000 And I feel bad if I'm promoting her OnlyFans.
00:14:30.000 But yeah, nude, outdoor.
00:14:31.000 So, I guess like she says to her daughter, just go stay in the van.
00:14:35.000 I'm gonna go do some nude selfies.
00:14:39.000 Fucking gross.
00:14:43.000 Uh...
00:14:44.000 Speaking of nude selfies, I've been dying to get this to this.
00:14:48.000 This isn't really worn on kids, so it's a weak segue.
00:14:52.000 But I sent you these pictures separately, Ryan.
00:14:56.000 I think I texted them to you.
00:14:58.000 But this dude, he's deleted it now because everyone made fun of him.
00:15:03.000 This dude, he's a lawyer, and his name is A. Mando, I think, Schneider?
00:15:09.000 And he put out this post about his friend raping him.
00:15:14.000 Yikes.
00:15:15.000 As one does.
00:15:17.000 Like, I think, let's be honest, guys.
00:15:20.000 How many times have we been sharing a hotel room with a buddy and we wake up and he's blowing us?
00:15:25.000 I mean, it was the opening song of the show.
00:15:26.000 It happens.
00:15:27.000 It happens.
00:15:28.000 Common as a mint under your pillow and a Bible in the drawer.
00:15:31.000 Exactly!
00:15:32.000 And you think, should I shoot him now?
00:15:34.000 Should I kill his family?
00:15:36.000 Should I stab him?
00:15:38.000 What should I do to the guy who raped me?
00:15:40.000 Well, you gotta come first.
00:15:42.000 Well, I'm kind of suspicious, because me think he doth protesteth too much.
00:15:48.000 So he randomly posted this on Twitter.
00:15:50.000 So, this share comes after much deliberation, after three days of being in shock.
00:15:55.000 Three days!
00:15:55.000 It took him three days to process the sexual assault that happened.
00:16:02.000 I thank my support system for being there and for encouraging me to share my experience.
00:16:05.000 I reposted this and said, Hey guys, if you ever get raped, this is a good route to take.
00:16:10.000 Um, and it's gone now.
00:16:12.000 But luckily some dude took a picture of it and he's been sending it to all his friends.
00:16:18.000 In short, as I shared with some of you on here already, I was sexually assaulted in my sleep last Saturday night, last Saturday night.
00:16:25.000 So we're a good five, six days away from the incident.
00:16:30.000 I refuse to be silent about it any longer.
00:16:34.000 Actually, you were silent about it for five days.
00:16:36.000 Nor will I allow it to die in the darkness as so many of these cases do.
00:16:40.000 However, in my experience, I also do not believe there is enough evidence to be able to successfully prosecute the person who committed the act on me.
00:16:48.000 Okay, so you're not going to the authorities and you're not beating the shit out of him.
00:16:53.000 Okay.
00:16:54.000 While I decipher what to do next, I thought it would be good to document what occurred.
00:16:58.000 Occurred.
00:17:00.000 This is the most vulnerable I've ever felt in my life.
00:17:03.000 Yeah, that's nature telling you to stop doing what you're doing.
00:17:08.000 But I am okay and I refuse to let something like this define me.
00:17:11.000 Well it defines you for me or take power away from me.
00:17:16.000 The intent of my post is the hope that people out there who need help and are going through similar things read it and hopefully it gives them the courage to speak out and take action.
00:17:24.000 I never thought something this extreme would happen to me although it is not my first run in with sexual predators.
00:17:30.000 Now what's that about?
00:17:33.000 Maybe he's one of these super effeminate straights who gives off gay vibes, like he wears short shorts and he giggles a lot.
00:17:41.000 And the gay dude was like, let's just cut the shit.
00:17:43.000 I'll blow him.
00:17:44.000 And then when he wakes up, he won't stop me.
00:17:47.000 That's probably what happened.
00:17:48.000 Or his nose sound like this, like, no.
00:17:53.000 Or maybe he's one of those like Christian closeted dudes who is clearly gay and gives off all the gayness and he has gay face, but he's like mortified by like, what are you talking about?
00:18:04.000 Ill.
00:18:05.000 Like that guy who has the reality show with the blonde hair, the Southern dude who got arrested recently.
00:18:11.000 You know who I'm talking about?
00:18:12.000 No.
00:18:13.000 Yeah.
00:18:13.000 Yeah.
00:18:13.000 He's got like three kids and he's always fucking talking about Jesus.
00:18:18.000 And I think he might even be a pastor.
00:18:20.000 Hmm.
00:18:21.000 Look him up.
00:18:23.000 Christian reality show Closeted homo An insane amount of trust has been violated beyond repair.
00:18:33.000 Oh shit.
00:18:34.000 I will never be the same after this But I'm trying to do my best to deal with it.
00:18:37.000 I'm very concerned you could be doing this to other people So what are you gonna do about it?
00:18:43.000 No, I don't think it's selling sunset.
00:18:45.000 No terrible you fail
00:18:48.000 He's a family man who seems gay but isn't gay.
00:18:51.000 Christian family man, blonde hair, stuff like that.
00:18:59.000 Hopefully this post brings awareness and allows people to stand up for themselves and find their voice.
00:19:04.000 So this is what he wants you to do if you get raped.
00:19:07.000 Let's see what he does.
00:19:08.000 Let's hope we all do the same thing.
00:19:11.000 Would you call that rape?
00:19:12.000 If you wake up and some dude was jerking you off or blowing you?
00:19:16.000 Or fucking you off the butt?
00:19:17.000 I don't really know what he means by sexual predators.
00:19:23.000 I personally would beat the guy within an inch of his life, maybe kill him.
00:19:29.000 Number two, if that wasn't possible for whatever reason, I would obviously call the cops that minute and have a bunch of swabs done.
00:19:36.000 And if that wasn't possible, I just would devote the rest of my life to finding him and tuning him up.
00:19:45.000 Tell you what I wouldn't do, write a letter.
00:19:49.000 Attached is my letter to the person who sexually assaulted me last weekend.
00:19:52.000 There's a lot more to the story, but hopefully this all serves some greater purpose.
00:19:56.000 Yes, it has served a great purpose.
00:19:58.000 It's a great laugh that we're having at your expense, rape victim.
00:20:04.000 Once the letter is received, I hope to close this chapter of my life as quickly as possible.
00:20:08.000 Pretty good deal for the rapist.
00:20:11.000 Hey, what happened?
00:20:12.000 Oh, I raped that dude I used to be friends with?
00:20:14.000 Oh shit, is he gonna kill you or put you in prison?
00:20:17.000 He just sent me some junk mail.
00:20:18.000 I just threw it out.
00:20:20.000 And that's it?
00:20:21.000 Yeah, he says he wants to close that chapter.
00:20:24.000 Sounds like he enjoyed it.
00:20:25.000 Sounds like he enjoyed whatever you did.
00:20:28.000 Thank you all.
00:20:29.000 I'm glad I now have this network to be able to deal with this kind of stuff in a constructive manner.
00:20:33.000 This isn't it, is it?
00:20:35.000 Yeah, that's him.
00:20:37.000 What's Todd and Julie, what's their show called?
00:20:41.000 Are you not familiar with this guy?
00:20:42.000 I have seen him, yeah, yeah.
00:20:45.000 Chrisley Knows Best.
00:20:47.000 Yeah, just put that into YouTube and you've never seen a bigger queer.
00:20:51.000 Queer?
00:20:52.000 Is there a queer?
00:20:55.000 So, um, he's deleted this and someone on X contacted me and they're like, I fucking have it.
00:21:02.000 Unfortunately, I don't have the letter.
00:21:03.000 And I was like, well, we're a perfect couple because I have the letter.
00:21:08.000 I just don't have the post.
00:21:11.000 No, that's not it.
00:21:12.000 I want to see them act, not news about them.
00:21:15.000 Joey Failure.
00:21:17.000 Okay, that's boring.
00:21:19.000 Just find a clip from the show, you tard.
00:21:22.000 Aching all over.
00:21:23.000 I feel like I'm dying.
00:21:25.000 You're not dying.
00:21:26.000 You are a hypochondriac.
00:21:27.000 You're gonna give yourself a heart attack with all this stress.
00:21:30.000 You think that that could happen?
00:21:32.000 Little stick.
00:21:36.000 That's gay.
00:21:38.000 His bed is gay.
00:21:40.000 His sheets are gay.
00:21:41.000 It burns.
00:21:43.000 That hand gesture and mouth thing is- That's a gay thing.
00:21:46.000 Isn't great.
00:21:48.000 He's getting an IV.
00:21:50.000 He's got the flu.
00:21:51.000 There's nothing wrong with him.
00:21:52.000 Oh great.
00:21:53.000 What's his- What'd they do to his son?
00:21:54.000 It's contagious.
00:21:55.000 I haven't used a needle in yet.
00:21:56.000 What did you just say?
00:21:57.000 I had to numb you.
00:22:00.000 Oh my God!
00:22:00.000 Could you give me a little jar of that for the... Oh my God!
00:22:03.000 Oh God!
00:22:04.000 Now I know Southerners are a little more effusive and uh... What's the word?
00:22:09.000 They gesticulate more?
00:22:11.000 But I think they ejaculate more on their friends.
00:22:13.000 This is a huge friggin' needle!
00:22:15.000 Are you f***ing Nurse Ratchet?
00:22:17.000 Are you Nurse Ratchet?
00:22:17.000 Be still!
00:22:20.000 So anyway... Is this as funny to you as it is to me or am I just a mean person?
00:22:26.000 Both.
00:22:28.000 Uh...
00:22:29.000 This letter is like too long for us to read on the show, but this is what he sent to his rapist.
00:22:34.000 You'll notice that he covers his rapist's name.
00:22:37.000 God forbid you offend your rapist.
00:22:41.000 So dear Roy, I'm gonna guess, you asked for an explanation via text message on Sunday evening.
00:22:49.000 Therefore, I am providing you with one in this letter.
00:22:53.000 Although I do not think you deserve an explanation because I feel that you should already be fully aware of what you did!
00:23:00.000 I am providing you with a response with the ultimate goal of instructing you not to communicate with me or my family from this point forward.
00:23:08.000 I'm upset, disappointed, and have been in shock for the last three days as it relates to what happened Sunday night, Saturday night.
00:23:16.000 To respond directly to your text, yes, you did do something that deeply offended me.
00:23:21.000 Dude, he loved it.
00:23:22.000 He's covering his tracks.
00:23:25.000 You violated my trust and disrespected me and my family, and I find it inconceivable to believe that you would state to trust that your actions were unintentional.
00:23:35.000 I think what happened was, these guys had a gay sesh on the DL, and then he threatened to blackmail them.
00:23:44.000 And this guy's tenacious, so he goes, I'm gonna write a huge letter about how you raped me, and it took this long to process.
00:23:50.000 So when you dox me and make it public, I'll be like, what?
00:23:53.000 No, that's the guy that raped me.
00:23:55.000 I have proof.
00:23:57.000 Because to take days and days to send a letter that says, I am upset.
00:24:04.000 Yeah, I'd imagine you're pretty upset.
00:24:07.000 To reiterate, I woke up in a hotel bed on Saturday night, Sunday morning to you being in bed with me uninvited and sexually assaulting me in my sleep.
00:24:16.000 You had rented a hotel room with two queen beds for us to stay in and we went to bed separate.
00:24:21.000 Yeah, this sounds like someone is planting evidence on themselves.
00:24:25.000 Why are you telling him that you got a hotel room with two separate beds?
00:24:29.000 Oh, yeah.
00:24:30.000 Yeah, I know.
00:24:32.000 I had to travel a whole bed to go rape you.
00:24:35.000 That was me.
00:24:38.000 To be clear, I did not ask for you to come to- Oh yeah, that's what is going on here, man.
00:24:43.000 He's building the alibi?
00:24:44.000 Yes.
00:24:45.000 This is to kill any blackmail.
00:24:47.000 It goes on and on and on.
00:24:49.000 You know I have a wife, who you've spent considerable time with if you speak of her often blah blah blah.
00:24:56.000 I wish you would get into what exactly did he do?
00:24:59.000 Because, I mean, there's degrees of terribleness when it comes to buddy rape, right?
00:25:08.000 I move to the other bed.
00:25:12.000 So wait, this guy, oh, get this.
00:25:15.000 Upon waking me up in the middle of the night after being stirred by you, I moved to the other bed, the bed you had previously been in, without saying anything to you.
00:25:21.000 I was in shock and couldn't really process what was happening.
00:25:25.000 I went back to sleep in disbelief that this event had occurred.
00:25:30.000 In the morning I left, not because of a work emergency, but because I had to get out of the situation and away from you as quickly as possible.
00:25:41.000 Anyway, we got both on the screen, right?
00:25:43.000 Have we shown both?
00:25:44.000 I feel like this is good.
00:25:44.000 We have this response.
00:25:46.000 If I haven't talked to you since 2023, take that as a fucking sign that you don't exist to me anymore!
00:25:53.000 Damn, you fucking bug!
00:25:54.000 You got sprayed with the raid!
00:25:57.000 Bye!
00:25:58.000 See you never!
00:26:01.000 Did you show the other one, you know, I have a wife and all that?
00:26:04.000 Yeah, the white one and then the
00:26:08.000 The one above that.
00:26:09.000 The long one.
00:26:11.000 The last paragraph.
00:26:12.000 I will not discuss this incident further with you.
00:26:15.000 That's how you tell a rapist.
00:26:19.000 Word on the street.
00:26:19.000 You heard the opening song about fellatio.
00:26:22.000 If any of you out there raped me, after one letter, I will not talk about it again.
00:26:27.000 That's right.
00:26:34.000 I will not discuss this incident further with you.
00:26:35.000 I do not want any future contact from you, nor should you contact my family.
00:26:40.000 Blah blah blah is fully aware of what has occurred as well as several others.
00:26:43.000 You and I's relationship is over from this point forward.
00:26:45.000 You will not be part of me or my family's life.
00:26:47.000 Do not contact me or my family.
00:26:49.000 Nothing you can say or do that will change how I feel.
00:26:51.000 I'd also advise that if you're exhibiting these patterns of behavior with other people, you should cease them immediately.
00:26:57.000 Yeah, this is so crystal clear to me now.
00:26:59.000 It is not okay, never was, and never will be.
00:27:02.000 Again, I'm extremely disappointed, but I'm moving on with my life.
00:27:05.000 You should do the same and take great caution with how you carry yourself in the future.
00:27:11.000 I mean, wow.
00:27:19.000 Purple Works.
00:27:23.000 Last night my wife wanted to party and I thought these don't come around that often so let's do it and we partied and that meant I didn't go to the gym today so I'm not on Purple Works.
00:27:35.000 We watched the Bob Marley movie.
00:27:38.000 It was okay.
00:27:40.000 Did they have the licensed music?
00:27:42.000 Nice.
00:27:42.000 Yes.
00:27:42.000 Which you must have to ask Chris Blackwell for.
00:27:45.000 And guess what?
00:27:47.000 Chris Blackwell comes out as quite the mensch in the movie.
00:27:51.000 He's a very, very awesome guy in the film that he okayed the music for.
00:27:57.000 So that wasn't surprising.
00:27:58.000 But it just was very mediocre.
00:28:00.000 Like it might as well have been about, I don't know, Vampire Weekend.
00:28:05.000 Like a pretty popular band that did okay.
00:28:07.000 I mean at one point he's playing in front of 120,000 people and it's just stuffed into a montage and then he went on tour and did a bunch of shows and like he was as big as you could get in the late 70s and they really didn't make it very exciting.
00:28:26.000 It's a pretty dull film.
00:28:29.000 That's a pretty good impression.
00:28:31.000 The accents were great.
00:28:32.000 Yeah.
00:28:38.000 They go with the CIA hit thing where they gave him cancer or something?
00:28:41.000 Does that come into play?
00:28:42.000 No, he does have toe cancer and he was too stupid to have his toe removed.
00:28:46.000 But they just show him getting assassinated, they don't get into it.
00:28:49.000 It was clearly the civil war going on in Jamaica with the two parties and they wanted him to choose a side.
00:28:57.000 Purpleworks Nutrition's pre-workout is not only great for the gym and lifting weights, it's also great for sports.
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00:29:17.000 Really sick shit.
00:29:18.000 Some people ask, hey, why do other pre-workouts make me suffer from dystopian levels of farting, sharting, and shitting?
00:29:23.000 To that I retort, it's because other pre-workouts have magnesium.
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00:29:52.000 Those little prickly things you get in your hand if you don't work out.
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00:30:34.000 How do you feel about that letter, Ryguy?
00:30:36.000 Let's look that guy up.
00:30:40.000 I've never seen a more embarrassing self own in my life.
00:30:47.000 And so it's Adam SCH Esquire.
00:30:54.000 He's a lawyer, I don't want him to sue me, but my personal theory is that you were way too nice to the guy who raped you.
00:31:03.000 And I think you had it coming, and I think you didn't see it as kind of a big deal, or the same level of bigness that us straights would have.
00:31:16.000 I woke up once and was receiving fellatio, actually twice now.
00:31:19.000 One was a girlfriend, but one was a chick I was not into at all.
00:31:23.000 So I've been raped.
00:31:25.000 I've been raped?
00:31:26.000 I've been raped.
00:31:28.000 What does he, wait, go back up.
00:31:31.000 Diaries of a seven year attorney, states, blah, blah, blah, happiness and moral duty.
00:31:35.000 So I don't know what that picture is, but as he moved on from his raping,
00:31:42.000 Eight months since I've opened my solo firm.
00:31:44.000 Don't care.
00:31:45.000 Boring.
00:31:45.000 No.
00:31:46.000 What else has he got there?
00:31:48.000 Old lady died.
00:31:49.000 Another good one for you if you want to be remote.
00:31:52.000 So is he dropping the whole rape thing?
00:31:55.000 It's okay to share, or we're always best for you, blah blah blah.
00:31:58.000 And let a recent message hit a thousand times harder.
00:32:02.000 Being the strong one is exhausting.
00:32:04.000 Pretending we're okay, denying pain.
00:32:08.000 Like, you don't have to not suffer if you get sexually assaulted, but don't write letters to your rapist.
00:32:15.000 Wouldn't that be funny if we found a video of him and he's like, hey you guys!
00:32:18.000 Still getting on with that fucking rape.
00:32:20.000 I'm seething!
00:32:26.000 All right.
00:32:27.000 Wait.
00:32:28.000 Oh sweetie, you're looking for attention.
00:32:29.000 You're no hero.
00:32:29.000 Most men would have beat the crap out of that guy to play the victim.
00:32:32.000 Somehow you managed to get attention for your narcissistic behavior.
00:32:32.000 You have won.
00:32:34.000 Congratulate.
00:32:35.000 Congratulations.
00:32:36.000 You are wrong.
00:32:37.000 Let me repeat that.
00:32:38.000 You are wrong.
00:32:41.000 Because you're homosexuality.
00:32:43.000 It's hysterical.
00:32:44.000 You definitely invited it and you're most likely acting out because of your homosexuality.
00:32:47.000 You're wrong.
00:32:48.000 That's even better of a response.
00:32:50.000 She nailed it.
00:32:52.000 No.
00:32:53.000 This person.
00:32:55.000 Oh, that's me.
00:32:56.000 No.
00:32:57.000 Yes.
00:32:58.000 I was trying to find the sopranos where he's like, he's a fag.
00:33:03.000 Yes.
00:33:04.000 But this is the only thing I could find.
00:33:05.000 I was hoping at least baby monsters would recognize it.
00:33:08.000 Oh man.
00:33:09.000 Hey guys, if your buddy tries to rape you, be sure to write him a strongly worded letter.
00:33:13.000 And then what did he go?
00:33:14.000 What does he say?
00:33:15.000 This person has been blocked, but here is what you will deal with.
00:33:20.000 When you make a post like mine.
00:33:22.000 Yes, I agree.
00:33:24.000 You have to make a choice of locking up or to keep going.
00:33:27.000 This morning, I made the choice to keep going, not just on Twitter, but to move forward with my life, you guys.
00:33:33.000 We are stronger together, and we do not allow others to control our lives, our stories, or our truths.
00:33:40.000 That is so gay.
00:33:41.000 Imagine a straight guy talking about, yeah, just trying to stop other people for, you know, defining my truths.
00:33:49.000 Is that the issue?
00:33:49.000 We are strong.
00:33:51.000 You tell me, what is the issue?
00:33:54.000 He's a fag!
00:33:56.000 Again, terrible editing.
00:33:59.000 Yeah.
00:34:00.000 Just give me the actual drop.
00:34:01.000 I wanna see his face when he goes, he's a fag.
00:34:04.000 You show me the back of his head?
00:34:05.000 Yeah.
00:34:06.000 Why am I seeing, what's her name, Mufi's face?
00:34:08.000 I literally, Melfi, I literally pictured in my head before we got this clip, like, he's a fag.
00:34:13.000 He's a fag.
00:34:14.000 And it's like a circus-y sort of exciting.
00:34:17.000 Yeah.
00:34:17.000 Weird.
00:34:19.000 It's exactly like, now yous can't leave.
00:34:21.000 Right.
00:34:22.000 In Bronx Tale.
00:34:23.000 It's our favorite line in every movie.
00:34:25.000 We imagine he goes, click.
00:34:29.000 Look at me, look at me.
00:34:31.000 Now you just can't leave.
00:34:33.000 But it's like, click, now you just can't leave.
00:34:37.000 It sucks.
00:34:39.000 What are some other good ones that could have been completely, like, you're a bum, Rocky.
00:34:43.000 You're looking at, like, up close.
00:34:44.000 Well, in a very difficult situation, Tony Soprano never says.
00:34:47.000 Oh, right.
00:34:48.000 He says delicate or something.
00:34:50.000 Or in Rushmore, when Bill Murray goes up to that little kid and says, what are you drawing?
00:34:58.000 And my wife and I always go, it's a jellyfish.
00:35:04.000 And then I see the movie and the girl's like, oh, it's a jellyfish.
00:35:07.000 I go, what?
00:35:09.000 I thought you went, it's a jellyfish.
00:35:14.000 It's a jellyfish.
00:35:17.000 This one hits hard.
00:35:19.000 Oh, I know you don't know what Adrela-bine is.
00:35:22.000 Adrela-bine?
00:35:24.000 Yeah, that one is more over the top than how you remembered it.
00:35:28.000 Oh, I know you don't know what Adrela-bine is.
00:35:36.000 Last night my wife ran up to me when we were partying and she goes, do you want to do shots?
00:35:43.000 Do you know what that's from?
00:35:44.000 No.
00:35:45.000 The little boy with the red hair?
00:35:50.000 From Mad TV?
00:35:52.000 Ugh.
00:35:55.000 It's one of the most famous memes on Earth.
00:35:57.000 It's a little boy.
00:35:58.000 He's maybe two.
00:36:01.000 Maybe three.
00:36:02.000 And he runs into the kitchen.
00:36:04.000 That's him.
00:36:06.000 No.
00:36:06.000 No.
00:36:07.000 No.
00:36:07.000 No.
00:36:08.000 No.
00:36:09.000 The other guy that you had up.
00:36:11.000 That kid.
00:36:12.000 What?
00:36:13.000 Are you gonna go get it?
00:36:18.000 Yeah.
00:36:20.000 What?
00:36:20.000 That man is now Oliver Anthony.
00:36:22.000 Do you want Taco Bell?
00:36:25.000 Taco Bell!
00:36:26.000 She goes, how are you going to get it?
00:36:27.000 And he realizes, I don't even know how anyone gets Taco Bell.
00:36:31.000 I know it's a thing we all want and then it arrives, but I actually have no idea how it goes from wanting Taco Bell to it being in the kitchen.
00:36:31.000 He bluffs.
00:36:41.000 Are you going to go get it?
00:36:43.000 Yeah.
00:36:45.000 Yep.
00:36:45.000 And then what the fuck did I disagree to?
00:36:47.000 I don't know what's involved.
00:36:50.000 Do I have to learn how to fly?
00:36:53.000 We're all over the map today, folks.
00:36:53.000 Yes.
00:36:56.000 We're in a rush to get this recorded.
00:36:57.000 I got to go see the Mets.
00:36:58.000 I was supposed to see them on Thursday, but it got rained out.
00:37:02.000 I drove into the city to get some new glasses from my mega optometrist.
00:37:07.000 And fucking Thursday had a fundraiser for Biden.
00:37:11.000 So Bill Clinton was in town.
00:37:13.000 Obama was in town.
00:37:14.000 Joe Biden was in town.
00:37:16.000 And that means that the traffic is insane.
00:37:21.000 Insane!
00:37:23.000 Million fucking cars for each president.
00:37:27.000 Each living president.
00:37:31.000 So one and a half.
00:37:33.000 Because Biden's half dead.
00:37:37.000 Well there was a black guy.
00:37:39.000 And the optometrist, and I don't, I really appreciate that this dude helps me out and he gives me discounts so I don't want to fuck up his business and out him as MAGA.
00:37:47.000 But the black guy was like, we got all three presidents, man!
00:37:50.000 Including Barack!
00:37:52.000 And I was like, yeah, because we like him.
00:37:55.000 Is that where we're going with this?
00:37:58.000 We like Barack Obama?
00:37:59.000 You know what I just realized?
00:38:01.000 What?
00:38:01.000 Black guys don't wear glasses.
00:38:03.000 There are some that do.
00:38:06.000 But a lot of them don't.
00:38:08.000 And I wonder, wait.
00:38:09.000 Starting today, you have to get on that brain juice that Joe Rogan pushes.
00:38:14.000 Wait.
00:38:15.000 This is something.
00:38:17.000 Yeah.
00:38:18.000 Have you ever seen like hood ends?
00:38:18.000 You know what it is?
00:38:19.000 It's the oldest story in the book.
00:38:22.000 In fact, it's an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where BJ Smoove starts wearing glasses.
00:38:28.000 And because black guys don't wear glasses, doors keep opening up for him.
00:38:32.000 He has all these opportunities he wouldn't normally have.
00:38:36.000 Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.
00:38:41.000 Have you noticed that black people say axe instead of ask?
00:38:44.000 Is that something you've also noticed?
00:38:46.000 No, the glasses thing.
00:38:47.000 I think maybe some of them need glasses.
00:38:49.000 They don't know it.
00:38:50.000 Yes, everyone needs glasses at a certain age, but you only need them when you read.
00:38:55.000 Right?
00:38:56.000 Otherwise you can pretty much put up with blurs.
00:38:58.000 Are you saying they don't read?
00:38:59.000 That's racist.
00:39:01.000 You know, I have a, I have a buddy that I was with the other day, a teacher in the Bronx.
00:39:06.000 And, uh, and that guy who didn't have to deal with the myths and the symbols cause they were ensconced in them in the system.
00:39:13.000 I have a hundred dollar bet going that those are not real prescription glasses.
00:39:16.000 Really?
00:39:17.000 The myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
00:39:23.000 Um,
00:39:26.000 But yes, my buddy was a teacher in the Bronx.
00:39:29.000 He was a gym teacher in the South Bronx.
00:39:31.000 He's like, I'm hungry.
00:39:31.000 White guy.
00:39:32.000 I've been here for a few days.
00:39:34.000 Let me go get an egg sandwich.
00:39:35.000 He wasn't far from the studio.
00:39:37.000 And you know the bodegas, in the morning they have a hundred egg sandwiches.
00:39:40.000 I don't know if it's unique to New York.
00:39:42.000 Do you guys have this for your egg sandwich?
00:39:44.000 It's scrambled eggs, American cheese.
00:39:47.000 I tell them cheddar, but sometimes I don't listen.
00:39:49.000 Bacon.
00:39:51.000 And then ketchup, mayonnaise, salt and pepper on a roll.
00:39:57.000 Am I missing anything?
00:39:59.000 I thought it was just bacon, egg, and cheese, salt, pepper, ketchup.
00:40:02.000 No mayonnaise.
00:40:03.000 Oh yeah, you're right, I'm wrong.
00:40:05.000 No mayonnaise.
00:40:08.000 So he goes, and other people are going past him.
00:40:11.000 And he goes, hey man, can I get a bacon, egg, and cheese?
00:40:14.000 And they're like, the Puerto Rican guy looks over at him.
00:40:17.000 He's the only white guy in the bodega.
00:40:19.000 And he goes, we don't got no eggs.
00:40:23.000 All right, I guess I'm out of luck.
00:40:25.000 And him and his wife teach in the Bronx, and they're way upstate.
00:40:31.000 Not way upstate, but like Rye, north of Rye, right?
00:40:34.000 So about 50 minutes by train to get to the city.
00:40:38.000 I go, why don't you just teach out there?
00:40:39.000 They go, because we're white.
00:40:43.000 So white people, the only jobs they can get are in the Bronx, and then blacks and browns, mostly browns, are teaching up in, you know, all over Westchester, Mamaroneck, Rye, all those, you know, white neighborhoods.
00:40:58.000 And so there's a commute in the morning as the white people leave their white neighborhoods and go to the Bronx and then the brown people Leave the Bronx and come up to the white suburbs It's some weird sort of like penance that white people have to serve.
00:41:12.000 They're being punished for I don't know what Having grades that are too high Speaking of grades that are too high
00:41:24.000 This is a fantastic fucking, go to, jump to 1-2.
00:41:28.000 Talk about sprinkles.
00:41:30.000 This took me a couple runs.
00:41:31.000 Let's see if dummy, dummy Rivera can get it.
00:41:34.000 That's not my name.
00:41:35.000 So I just got this shirt, and if I charge it with this blacklight, look, it glows in the dark.
00:41:41.000 Yo!
00:41:42.000 Dude, that's awesome, man!
00:41:44.000 So sweet.
00:41:45.000 Oh, we're getting a blacklight, that's so cool.
00:41:47.000 Do you have any more of those?
00:41:49.000 I kind of want one.
00:41:50.000 Yeah.
00:41:50.000 Can I get one of those?
00:41:54.000 You know what?
00:41:55.000 I gotta go to the bathroom.
00:41:56.000 I'll be right back.
00:41:56.000 Yeah, me too actually.
00:41:58.000 Sure!
00:41:58.000 Oh yeah?
00:41:58.000 You wanna come with me?
00:42:01.000 Of course I get it.
00:42:11.000 Yeah, it took me, I didn't see it the first time.
00:42:13.000 We've all been caught with that.
00:42:14.000 Well, the problem is too, the crumb on his face is like this much.
00:42:18.000 It's overwhelming.
00:42:19.000 It should have just been a few lines or something.
00:42:21.000 Looks like Idris Elba's beard.
00:42:22.000 But I guess he washed it off and it's still, the trace is there.
00:42:29.000 That tells a story.
00:42:31.000 Ah, funny stuff.
00:42:34.000 Is this guy even gay?
00:42:36.000 Face is spotless.
00:42:38.000 Well, he's a receiver.
00:42:40.000 I think he's just an opportunist.
00:42:41.000 Can't fight the fever, receiver.
00:42:45.000 I saw you were in a Virgin Airlines commercial.
00:42:48.000 Not that I know, unless I have to sue somebody and my likeness was used.
00:42:52.000 No.
00:42:54.000 Hey babe, do you want to go to a show tonight?
00:42:58.000 Don't worry, it's included.
00:42:59.000 You're saying that's not you?
00:43:01.000 Don't worry.
00:43:02.000 He's got a great smile.
00:43:03.000 No, that is not me.
00:43:05.000 I thought you- I thought they did the veneer in post.
00:43:07.000 He does wear rings, though.
00:43:08.000 There's a lot of similarity.
00:43:09.000 The same facial hair setup.
00:43:12.000 I must admit.
00:43:13.000 And he does both things to his hair.
00:43:15.000 He does the kickback and then also does the annoying everybody in the world down with the beanie.
00:43:21.000 Yeah.
00:43:21.000 So I admit.
00:43:22.000 That's how infuriating you look to other people, by the way.
00:43:25.000 I understand.
00:43:25.000 Oh, so that's weird.
00:43:26.000 That's crazy.
00:43:28.000 Let's see if I can compare here.
00:43:30.000 Compa- yeah.
00:43:32.000 Ech.
00:43:34.000 It looks like a bunch of pubes spilling out of some underwear.
00:43:38.000 Well, they say it's a Rorschach test, so if you see pubes, that's what's on your brain.
00:43:42.000 Okay.
00:43:45.000 That's pretty good.
00:43:49.000 But, uh, keep playing it?
00:43:52.000 Richard?
00:43:53.000 Richard?
00:43:55.000 First time, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
00:43:58.000 The fuck?
00:44:01.000 Terrible delivery of your lines there.
00:44:03.000 First time, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
00:44:08.000 First time, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
00:44:10.000 Why are you so bad at acting?
00:44:14.000 But go back and play that again.
00:44:15.000 Because it reminds me, when I used to do commercials, we would cheap out on the extras and the actors a little bit.
00:44:20.000 And sometimes, you know, actors you'd recognize, they'd want some serious dough.
00:44:25.000 And if it wasn't in the budget, we'd just put a word out to Craigslist, whatever.
00:44:28.000 And we'd get these people, and they'd be attractive, and they'd have their lines memorized.
00:44:32.000 And I'd go, good.
00:44:32.000 And then they'd talk, and I'd go, wait a minute.
00:44:35.000 What's your accent?
00:44:36.000 And they'd go, what accent?
00:44:38.000 Oh, no, you have an accent.
00:44:40.000 And they go, no, I don't.
00:44:42.000 They try to overdo it then.
00:44:44.000 And I go, look, we're selling whatever it was, cell phone plans.
00:44:48.000 If you have a Danish accent, you're narrowing the audience here.
00:44:52.000 Now it's only like Europeans who are visiting America that are going to pay attention to this ad.
00:44:58.000 You should have told us that you're not an English speaker.
00:45:02.000 I am an English speaker.
00:45:03.000 I'm totally happy to work on your commercials, man.
00:45:07.000 I think that's what happened to these people.
00:45:09.000 Listen to her.
00:45:26.000 Did you know this existed, so?
00:45:31.000 Of course.
00:45:32.000 Oh.
00:45:33.000 That's my old ad agency.
00:45:34.000 Look how much money we spent on the shelving.
00:45:37.000 That's enough.
00:45:38.000 I don't want to watch me.
00:45:40.000 But listen to her voice.
00:45:42.000 You want to go to show tonight?
00:45:46.000 Is your tongue afraid of the top of your mouth?
00:45:48.000 What the hell?
00:45:49.000 Hey babes, you want to go to show tonight?
00:45:52.000 What is he, Israeli?
00:45:53.000 That face he's making is like, what the fuck did you just say?
00:45:56.000 What am I on a cruise with?
00:45:57.000 I feel like I'm in the movie Thing and I'm Kurt Russell.
00:46:01.000 Hey babe, are you want to go into the disco and we'll do some rock and roll dancing later on, my friend?
00:46:06.000 Okay, the Anita Fashions thing, which we're doing tonight.
00:46:10.000 Yes.
00:46:10.000 The other one with the really cool guy that gave you the gifts.
00:46:14.000 Yes.
00:46:15.000 It took me a while to realize he had an accent.
00:46:18.000 Really?
00:46:19.000 Yes.
00:46:19.000 Well, he's Scottish, so he has a strong accent.
00:46:24.000 Hey, babe, what are you doing today?
00:46:26.000 Are you going to have a party with me, man?
00:46:28.000 Hey, babe, do you want to go to a show tonight?
00:46:31.000 You want to go to a show tonight?
00:46:32.000 That almost sounds deaf.
00:46:33.000 So now it's like you're a virgin.
00:46:35.000 So as an outsider, I'm watching this commercial and I'm like, well, it's not for me.
00:46:40.000 I guess the first stop is in Tel Aviv and then they go by Utrecht and over to fucking Schlafen-Tigut and Heimen-Zesus.
00:46:49.000 Like, too bad.
00:46:51.000 I wish they would come to the New York port and I could get on their cruise ship.
00:46:56.000 Don't worry, it's included.
00:46:58.000 Don't worry, it's totally included, you guys.
00:47:01.000 Pearl necklace, interesting choice.
00:47:03.000 Don't worry, it's included.
00:47:06.000 Don't worry, it's included.
00:47:07.000 Don't worry, it's included.
00:47:09.000 Don't worry.
00:47:12.000 Richard?
00:47:12.000 Wait, is he included?
00:47:15.000 And what does he say?
00:47:15.000 Richard?
00:47:17.000 That's the director, by the way, must have cut all her lines.
00:47:20.000 Yeah, and he's not in the room with them.
00:47:22.000 Obviously, that's... I remember we were doing one commercial and this chick was like, hey, do you want to get Thai food?
00:47:28.000 And I'm like, it's not a typhoon.
00:47:29.000 It's Thai food.
00:47:31.000 Hey, do you want to get Thai food?
00:47:32.000 It's pouring with freezing cold rain, ice rain outside.
00:47:36.000 And she's like, OK.
00:47:38.000 We get the umbrellas out of the way.
00:47:39.000 Take 36.
00:47:39.000 Hey, do you want to get some Thai food?
00:47:43.000 And I thought she was trying to drive me insane.
00:47:47.000 Boy, I don't miss directing commercials.
00:47:49.000 He sounds like Justin Long.
00:47:50.000 Wait, is he included?
00:47:52.000 That sounds exactly like Justin Long.
00:47:53.000 We did commercials with Justin Long.
00:47:55.000 I knew it.
00:47:56.000 Is he included?
00:47:58.000 First time, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
00:48:03.000 Second time watching that he didn't do too bad.
00:48:05.000 Earlier I said you should have a first aid kit at your house, in your RV, wherever.
00:48:10.000 So you're getting one.
00:48:11.000 This is the top of the line.
00:48:12.000 Actually, there's a better one than this that's in, like, a bubble case.
00:48:16.000 Super tough case.
00:48:17.000 So that's top of the line.
00:48:18.000 This is number two.
00:48:19.000 And then you can keep going down to just, like, a little portable one.
00:48:22.000 Like, Matty always carries a first aid kit when he's on his motorcycle, because he takes blood thinners, and he don't want them to die!
00:48:29.000 JumpMedic is a great small business created by a paramedic with years of on-the-ground emergency experience.
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00:48:42.000 JumpMedic is now offering a hard shell, that's what I was talking about earlier, waterproof first aid kit which includes a mini portable bag as well.
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00:48:51.000 comes fully stocked with all kinds of life-saving supplies for the low price of $149, and the ad sales guy has put the dollar sign on the wrong side of the number to make me insane.
00:49:02.000 Moral of the story being, don't tell people what your weaknesses are.
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00:49:53.000 Enter promo code RyanSucks for 10% off.
00:49:55.000 That code works for everything except the sale items.
00:50:00.000 And with that, we're going to go behind the paywall and deny you all any more free content.
00:50:08.000 Kind of a weird ep today.
00:50:10.000 We're, uh... We're panning out.
00:50:12.000 You know what I would like to take away from this episode?
00:50:14.000 I would like everyone to go talk to this guy.
00:50:17.000 Um...
00:50:23.000 And just ask him, like, how's it going with the incident?
00:50:29.000 Did that guy apologize?
00:50:31.000 You know, don't attack him or call him gay.
00:50:33.000 That's fucking lame.
00:50:35.000 But just be like, hey, any updates on the incident?
00:50:38.000 Did he apologize?
00:50:40.000 Try to get some dialogue going.
00:50:42.000 Let's see what he has to say.
00:50:46.000 Oh, I would kill to see video of how he talks and his mannerisms and see if they're like, or whatever that show is we just watched.
00:50:53.000 What was that?
00:50:54.000 Charlie is in Control?
00:50:57.000 Chrisley's always right?
00:50:58.000 Chrisley's always right?
00:51:00.000 Chrisley knows best.
00:51:02.000 And if you want, we have free content then every Friday.
00:51:05.000 We also are going to be putting free content on Twitter, X Gavin McInnes.
00:51:11.000 It's called censored.tv on X, exclusive to X. Some free teasers there.
00:51:17.000 But yeah, I don't know what you're waiting for if you're not subscribed.
00:51:20.000 I'm actually kind of mad at you, so I'm going to say goodbye now.
00:51:22.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:51:29.000 Hand over Gavin Newsom, take it like a man.
00:51:31.000 I'm gonna fuck your...