Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 22, 2024


S5E81: THE END


Episode Stats

Length

36 minutes

Words per Minute

138.93454

Word Count

5,129

Sentence Count

521

Misogynist Sentences

15

Hate Speech Sentences

28


Summary

Gavin McInnes is a writer, comedian, podcaster, and podcaster. He grew up in Brooklyn, went to boarding school, and now lives in Los Angeles with his wife and three kids. He talks about what it was like growing up in a small town in the late 80s and early 90s, and why he decided to move his family to the big city. He also talks about his favorite Nita fashion suit, and how he almost got into a fight with a man who didn t like it. And he talks about why he still wears it to this day. Get Off My Lawn is out now, and you can catch it at The Sub-Tafashions in LA on April 20th at The Intercontinental in LA. Tickets start at $29.99 and are available at the Intercontinental Los Angeles Box Office at 800-273-8255 or go to intercontinentallondon.ca/getoffmylawn and get an ad-free version of the show. Do you wanna see iceberg lettuce at the sub-t? It's gonna be so good! Live from New York, it's GAVIN McINNES LIVE from the Sub-Tokyo! LIVE from NYC on April 23rd, live from The Subtract in LA, Gav talks about iceberg lettuce and his new album, Iceberg lettuce. Get off my lawn with me! Get on my lawn! with me at the SubTODAY with me in LA and I'll take you out to the Subtors on my front lawn in LA! Gav gives you some tips and tricks on how to make your lawn look the best you can have the best lawn in the best possible day in the most beautiful place in the whole town. Gave you the best day in New York City, and I'm here to help you find the best place to get the best view of the best ice cream in the world. I hope you enjoy this episode! Thanks for listening and support me out there! xoxo, Caitlyn and Annalynn and I hope it's a good one! -Tune in next week, Caitlin and I love you're having a great day! Caitlyn - Caitlyn & Sarah Caitlin & Ann Coulter Sarah - - Ann Coulter, Cheers, - The Nafashion's Book Recommendation:


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Do you wanna see iceberg lettuce at the Sub-T?
00:00:05.000 It's gonna be so good!
00:00:14.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:41.000 Some cool ditties by Mark Winter, a kid from Indiana.
00:00:53.000 That band is called D.L.I.M.C., which I guess stands for D. Leopardo Industrial Music Company.
00:01:04.000 The song is Wicker Park.
00:01:07.000 And it's kind of a groovy, fun, indie rock.
00:01:10.000 1-3.
00:01:11.000 There's a picture of him there.
00:01:15.000 I think.
00:01:18.000 Yeah.
00:01:19.000 1-3.
00:01:21.000 That's him in the bottom left there.
00:01:25.000 Just eating some Doritos.
00:01:27.000 He's got a lot of cool little indie projects.
00:01:32.000 Kind of reminds me of Camper Van Beethoven.
00:01:37.000 You know, I was thinking today about my daughter.
00:01:39.000 She's back from boarding school this weekend.
00:01:42.000 And I'm like, my fucking community, my neighbors in Westchester, when that shit was hitting the fan in 2018, my daughter was, when we moved to the suburbs originally, and we were very popular, because suburbanites are dull normies, and we were the fun city people from Brooklyn, my daughter had friends over all day, every day.
00:02:06.000 And they were just, like, slung over the furniture like cats.
00:02:10.000 It annoyed me that they were on their phones, but I was happy that my daughter had an instant, like, group of friends.
00:02:16.000 Then the housewives, the bored housewives, decided that I was persona non grata, and that's fine, but they also told their daughters not to hang out with mine.
00:02:28.000 And almost overnight, she's eating lunch alone in the cafeteria.
00:02:32.000 I remember one of the quotes was, um,
00:02:38.000 Her father thinks that Consuela should go back where she came from.
00:02:43.000 Their real, the way they translated it to their daughters was, Gavin hates your maid, your nanny, your au pair, your servant.
00:02:53.000 I had desecrated their servants basically was the issue.
00:02:57.000 And so I had to send her to boarding school, where she did great.
00:03:03.000 So she moved out at 16.
00:03:06.000 So I didn't get 17, 18.
00:03:09.000 Now, you get 18 years with your kid, and then they move out.
00:03:15.000 For the rest of their life, you get about a year of Christmas and Thanksgiving and all that.
00:03:21.000 It adds up to about a year.
00:03:23.000 So it's really all about the first 18.
00:03:26.000 The rest is they're gone.
00:03:28.000 So out of 18 years, you took away two from me, right?
00:03:33.000 That's a ninth.
00:03:37.000 Yeah.
00:03:37.000 Nine times two is 18.
00:03:39.000 You took almost a 10th of my daughter's life away from me.
00:03:44.000 You think you're going to get away with that?
00:03:46.000 No.
00:03:49.000 You motherfuckers.
00:03:51.000 Speaking of motherfuckers, I'm wearing my favorite Nita fashion suit.
00:03:55.000 You know, when you go to visit these guys, pull up their schedule on their website, Ryan.
00:04:01.000 When you go to visit these guys, you're in control.
00:04:04.000 So I've done two things that pissed them off.
00:04:12.000 I had a black suit and I said, I want to get white buttons on it.
00:04:19.000 And Peter, the owner of the company, said no.
00:04:23.000 And then I, like, it's a weird power dynamic because he's the tailor.
00:04:28.000 He's the expert.
00:04:29.000 He knows everything about buttons and pockets, but I'm the client.
00:04:34.000 So sometimes I have to go, yes.
00:04:40.000 And I got white buttons on a black suit.
00:04:42.000 And he goes, this looks like Mickey Mouse.
00:04:44.000 I go, yeah, that's what I'm going for.
00:04:47.000 Oh, okay, buddy.
00:04:50.000 And then with this jacket, I don't know if you can see it, I've showed it before, but um...
00:04:55.000 It's like a very thick, almost fur-like felt.
00:05:01.000 And it's for a car coat.
00:05:02.000 It's for an outdoor coat.
00:05:03.000 I go, I don't want it as an outdoor coat.
00:05:05.000 I want it as a suit.
00:05:06.000 And he goes, no, it's way too thick.
00:05:08.000 You'd only be able to wear it outside in February.
00:05:12.000 I go, yeah, that's what we're going for.
00:05:15.000 So I fought him.
00:05:17.000 I fought the law, and I won.
00:05:20.000 And I made this fucking weird suit.
00:05:22.000 And by the way, when I wear it to like out for dinner with people or something, it is, or to parties, it is a hit.
00:05:29.000 It is the talk of the town.
00:05:29.000 One time Ann Coulter emailed me the next day and said, I love that suit last night.
00:05:35.000 Yeah.
00:05:36.000 That's what you get when you think outside the box.
00:05:38.000 So where are they now?
00:05:39.000 They're in LA.
00:05:42.000 April 20th, April 23rd, they're at the Intercontinental in Los Angeles, book an appointment on their website, or you can do it through their Instagram, Nitafashions, N-I-T-A, what's their URL there?
00:05:54.000 Nitafashions.com.
00:05:57.000 There's no dot in between Nita and fashions?
00:05:59.000 No.
00:06:00.000 24th of April they're off to San Francisco, then 27th of April they're in Palo Alto, so be sure to check them out.
00:06:07.000 If you don't want a splurge, you can just get like a
00:06:10.000 Fuckin' $50 dress shirt.
00:06:12.000 But you should have, no matter how blue-collar you are, you should have one suit at least.
00:06:17.000 Great for weddings.
00:06:18.000 Weddings, parties, anything.
00:06:21.000 And bongo jams a speciality.
00:06:26.000 Um... Also in the news.
00:06:29.000 Oh, here's today's paper.
00:06:30.000 Everyone thinks we're away on vacation.
00:06:32.000 How am I showing today's paper if I'm on vacation?
00:06:37.000 Look at this crying bitch.
00:06:40.000 Like NYU is a quarter of a million to get a degree.
00:06:44.000 So you're dealing with people who have never been told no.
00:06:48.000 And they're telling students no.
00:06:52.000 Here in Jew York City, we're in a conflict because on the one hand, the Marxist Bolsheviks hate everything white, and in this war, Israel is considered the whiter of the two.
00:07:04.000 But they also support Israel.
00:07:09.000 So our city's having a bit of a nervous breakdown.
00:07:14.000 And very few libs are switching over.
00:07:19.000 Michael Rappaport is the only one of consequence, and I've always hated that guy, so I don't care.
00:07:23.000 But you know what's interesting?
00:07:25.000 I was watching this video, 1-5.
00:07:27.000 It's this guy who speaks Chinese.
00:07:29.000 I guess he lived in China for a while, a New Yorker.
00:07:31.000 And he's explaining why he left Manhattan for New Jersey.
00:07:37.000 He's really good at his job.
00:07:39.000 Uh, he does his research, he talks about how expensive the subways are, how corrupt New York City is, and I've always said that.
00:07:44.000 It's still Tammany Hall, it hasn't changed.
00:07:46.000 But he talks about migrants, like crackhead migrant rapists chasing him and his two-year-old down the street.
00:07:54.000 And he says in the video, now to be clear, I cannot stress this enough, I love immigration.
00:08:01.000 I think we need more migrants, not less.
00:08:04.000 So as he's talking about the city wasting money, I think Eric Adams spent 53 million on just fun little gift cards for the migrants.
00:08:13.000 So he's pissed about that.
00:08:15.000 And he's pissed that migrants are coming here just for all the free shit, the luxury hotels and the free credit cards, the free gift cards.
00:08:23.000 And then he again emphasizes that how important it is that we know that he loves immigration and migrants.
00:08:33.000 And I'm just like, this goes back to what we were saying earlier in the week, that you don't get your I told you so moment because leftists never learn.
00:08:43.000 They just, you can, like you can have a fucking illegal piece of garbage chase a man down the street and he goes, to be clear, I want open borders.
00:08:54.000 So don't expect them to change.
00:08:58.000 They, the only thing that'll change is the demographics of the country.
00:09:03.000 The culture will change and they'll remain steadfast.
00:09:06.000 In fact, the culture can change so much that your children will have Jamaican accents.
00:09:11.000 Like in Toronto right now, 1-4.
00:09:13.000 What's the worst place in Toronto?
00:09:15.000 Low Key Godstone.
00:09:16.000 That place is weird.
00:09:17.000 It stinks.
00:09:17.000 It reeks, fam.
00:09:19.000 Everywhere we go, I'm always walking on the roads.
00:09:21.000 Man, them are weird.
00:09:22.000 There's bare bucktees there.
00:09:24.000 And not only that, the parks there are maude tings, fam.
00:09:26.000 You can't even ride the swings.
00:09:27.000 There's always a bucktee on one of the slides, yo.
00:09:29.000 What's the worst place in... Bucktee is like a crackhead.
00:09:33.000 Low Key Godstone.
00:09:35.000 Who could ever have guessed that the hoser accent would be merging with Jamaican patois?
00:09:44.000 I mean, we were warned when Londoners, young Londoners started saying Bear Gyals.
00:09:52.000 Bear meaning a lot.
00:09:57.000 Also an important serious Friday news.
00:10:01.000 Megyn Kelly put out this great video today about January 6th and how the Supreme Court, I mean, Nick Oakes called us during the week and said that it's looking kind of good for him.
00:10:12.000 And to be clear, I'm still fucking pissed off.
00:10:16.000 If the January Sixers all got Lamborghinis waiting outside the jail, the prison for them right now, and were sent home with an eight ball of coke and some hookers, I'm still fucking furious.
00:10:28.000 So the injustice has already happened.
00:10:32.000 They did trespassing and vandalism.
00:10:35.000 They should have got a hundred dollar fine and some mild probation.
00:10:41.000 But she talks here in this video about, and you can zoom out so people can see it on their own time, about this whole notion of you were obstructing a government procedure and how that law, the obstruction thing, was really designed for people who are embezzling money and they shred the evidence as the cops are knocking on the door.
00:11:05.000 That's what the law is for.
00:11:07.000 It's never really been used for, oh, the president was being inaugurated and you flubbed it up by delaying it.
00:11:15.000 That's never been done.
00:11:17.000 And at one point, I think it was Kavanaugh says, okay, we're doing a governmental procedure right now.
00:11:24.000 What if five protesters like started screaming and yelling and threw a bottle and delayed this?
00:11:32.000 Like, that would be the same thing.
00:11:34.000 And obviously we know BLM and Antifa were doing that on a fucking daily basis for two years.
00:11:42.000 And they didn't get that.
00:11:44.000 Just play some of it.
00:11:46.000 See if you can have your needle magic.
00:11:49.000 Questions from, like I said, Sotomayor and some of the more liberal jurists.
00:11:53.000 There's only three now.
00:11:54.000 He knows the answer.
00:11:54.000 There we go.
00:12:12.000 It has certainly been the government's position since the enactment of 1512c2 that it covers the myriad forms of obstructing an official proceeding and that it's not limited to some kind of evidence impairment gloss.
00:12:24.000 So have you enforced it in that manner?
00:12:27.000 We have enforced it in a variety of prosecutions that don't focus on evidence tampering.
00:12:31.000 Now I can't give you an example of enforcing it in a situation where people have violently stormed a building in order to prevent an official proceeding, a specified one, from occurring.
00:12:39.000 So what role does C1 play in your analysis?
00:12:43.000 So we understand 1512C to split up the world of obstructive conduct of an official proceeding into the C1 offense and into C2.
00:12:51.000 C1 covers everything it enumerates.
00:12:53.000 It's the acts of altering, concealing, destroying records, documents, or other objects.
00:12:57.000 It just covers everything.
00:12:58.000 And then C2 would only pick up conduct that obstructs an official proceeding in a different way.
00:13:03.000 Okay, so skip ahead of them talking.
00:13:07.000 So we've had a number of protests in the courtroom.
00:13:10.000 Let's say that today while you're arguing or Mr. Green is arguing, five people get up one after the other and they shout either
00:13:31.000 Keep the January 6th insurrectionists in jail or free the January 6th patriots.
00:13:36.000 And as a result of this, our police officers have to remove them forcibly from the courtroom.
00:13:42.000 And let's say it delays the proceeding for five minutes.
00:13:47.000 So would that be a violation of 1512c2?
00:13:51.000 I think it would be difficult for the government to prove that.
00:13:53.000 Why?
00:13:54.000 At the outset, we don't think that 1512C2 picks up minimal, de minimis, minor interferences.
00:14:00.000 We think that the term obstruct on its face connotes a meaningful interference with the proceeding.
00:14:05.000 Well, it doesn't say.
00:14:06.000 I'm sorry.
00:14:07.000 C2 does not refer just to obstruct.
00:14:12.000 It says obstructs, influences, or impedes.
00:14:16.000 Impedes is something.
00:14:17.000 Anyway, you get the idea.
00:14:19.000 Watch it on your own time.
00:14:20.000 Zoom out.
00:14:20.000 Yeah, they just did it, right?
00:14:23.000 For, uh, was it abortion or Palestine?
00:14:26.000 That's the only two things the left cares about these days is drunk sluts having ramifications and some Semitic battle in the Middle East.
00:14:35.000 One of many, but they chose that one because they like the color scheme.
00:14:39.000 They stormed the Capitol just like last week.
00:14:43.000 This happens on a regular motherfuckin' basis.
00:14:47.000 So, I'm optimistic about, about, um...
00:14:52.000 These charges being evaluated.
00:14:53.000 But then you look at Tommy Robinson in the UK.
00:14:57.000 He was released from prison.
00:14:58.000 They threw him back in prison for the same charge.
00:15:01.000 Just because.
00:15:02.000 Or look at, uh, what was his name?
00:15:04.000 Rodney King.
00:15:06.000 The cop was found innocent.
00:15:07.000 He didn't violate police procedure.
00:15:09.000 They rioted.
00:15:10.000 They pulled a trucker out of his truck and jumped on his head.
00:15:14.000 And they went, uh, you have to go to jail.
00:15:15.000 They sent him back to jail.
00:15:17.000 Derek Chauvin shouldn't have been arrested.
00:15:20.000 He was following police procedure to the T. He was not on anyone's neck.
00:15:23.000 He was on his upper shoulder blades, which is what you're supposed to do.
00:15:27.000 That was in his training.
00:15:28.000 They're all in jail, all those cops.
00:15:32.000 The other cops were rookies doing what their boss told them to.
00:15:35.000 And by the way, their boss was telling them to do the right stuff.
00:15:39.000 Toast.
00:15:42.000 And then there's this trans shooting.
00:15:47.000 A tranny, and believe it or not, I pointed this out about 10 years ago, trannies are just mentally ill gays.
00:15:55.000 We're seeing more and more trannies shoot up the place and the media tries to hide it.
00:16:03.000 They go, no, that's totally irrelevant.
00:16:06.000 Well, it is relevant because there's a pattern.
00:16:09.000 The pattern is not necessarily trannies.
00:16:11.000 The pattern is mentally ill people.
00:16:15.000 And we don't want to confront that.
00:16:21.000 I think the left just wants it to be MAGA people that shoot up schools, and the right wants it to be liberals.
00:16:28.000 The pattern, if you want to look at political beliefs, they're wildly disproportionately Muslim, as we've researched here on the show.
00:16:28.000 No.
00:16:37.000 If you want to go racial, they are disproportionately black and people of color.
00:16:42.000 Mass shooting is four or more.
00:16:44.000 And then within the scope of mental illness, we're seeing a fair number of trannies these days.
00:16:51.000 I can think of three off the top of my head.
00:16:54.000 And these are big mass shootings.
00:16:56.000 They hide the manifesto.
00:16:58.000 Crowder had to get the previous one leaked to him.
00:17:03.000 And here they just refuse.
00:17:05.000 They call it a he.
00:17:07.000 This guy shut up a place.
00:17:09.000 It's easier with Asians because you guys look the same.
00:17:12.000 But, uh,
00:17:13.000 Yeah, he shut up a school.
00:17:15.000 Do they even, go to this opening paragraph.
00:17:20.000 Police AEA was taken into custody following a joint investigation.
00:17:24.000 The FBI first alerted MCPD about the manifesto in which he talked about committing a, like you'd have no way of knowing that this person is Andrea.
00:17:36.000 Strategize how to carry out the act.
00:17:38.000 Ye also wrote about targeting elementary school and said that he wants to be famous.
00:17:45.000 Go to 17A.
00:17:47.000 This is this is the protected class.
00:17:49.000 This is tranny privilege.
00:17:55.000 Look how mad he is.
00:17:58.000 What is the reluctance of the county to admit that this individual was transgender?
00:18:03.000 This is the fourth time that we've seen this happen, very recently.
00:18:08.000 And right here I hear all of our leadership saying to us today, and what we do in journalism here, and what we try not to do, is bury the lead.
00:18:15.000 Why am I hearing about this from the New York Post?
00:18:18.000 Because it's not a lead.
00:18:22.000 Yes, stop.
00:18:25.000 Stop.
00:18:27.000 Yes, you do.
00:18:28.000 Every time a white cop shoots a black person, the headline says, white police officer shoots unarmed black.
00:18:35.000 If a black officer shoots a white, they say, officer involved in shooting.
00:18:41.000 We can give you a thousand examples of that.
00:18:44.000 And I hate that people don't notice it, but they always name the races when they think they can make this a white-on-black thing.
00:18:53.000 No, you don't, you don't, are these the only crimes that get committed?
00:18:58.000 You never publish somebody's sexual orientation when you talk about this.
00:19:02.000 Why you focus on the transgender is beyond me.
00:19:05.000 It is not a news story.
00:19:07.000 It is not a crime to be transgender.
00:19:09.000 And I'm sorry you feel that way.
00:19:10.000 If it was a MAGA person?
00:19:12.000 Oh my God, if it was me, if it was a proud boy, can you fucking imagine?
00:19:18.000 But this story is kind of hard to find.
00:19:21.000 Anyway.
00:19:23.000 Speaking of stories, Purple Works Nutrition.
00:19:30.000 Purple Wax.
00:19:34.000 I'm not on it today.
00:19:37.000 We did the cop show last night, hung out with the boys after.
00:19:42.000 Medium John showed us some of his acapella, which was alarmingly gay.
00:19:48.000 Do you have, can you play some of that?
00:19:50.000 Can I?
00:19:51.000 He doesn't mind?
00:19:51.000 Yeah.
00:19:53.000 I don't care if he minds.
00:19:53.000 Alright.
00:19:54.000 What's he gonna do?
00:19:55.000 Arrest me?
00:19:58.000 Yeah, he went to like the Fame School.
00:19:59.000 You know, Fame!
00:20:01.000 I'm gonna live forever!
00:20:02.000 One of those art schools in New York.
00:20:04.000 That's where he went.
00:20:05.000 And he took singing.
00:20:11.000 This is him doing Panama with his acapella group.
00:20:15.000 And they won the state championships.
00:20:17.000 Is he the bass?
00:20:19.000 I believe he's the da-da-da-da.
00:20:22.000 It sounds like there's multiple... Wait, I feel like I hear his mid-range going... Are those drums?
00:20:29.000 No, it's like... If it's acapella... Let's hear the guitar.
00:20:48.000 He goes, go ahead and laugh.
00:20:50.000 I go, too late.
00:20:51.000 I started without you.
00:21:01.000 So that competition, the guy who runs it pitched it as a movie and that's why you have the movie's perfect pitch.
00:21:10.000 That's based on him.
00:21:11.000 No way.
00:21:12.000 Yeah.
00:21:12.000 That rules.
00:21:13.000 No, it's gay and embarrassing.
00:21:15.000 I've never seen it, but that's a big movie.
00:21:17.000 Doesn't rule.
00:21:18.000 Sorry, Puerto Ricans.
00:21:19.000 You were the origin of the Proud Boys.
00:21:21.000 When I saw that Puerto Rican singing Proud of Your Boy, I went, that's the most shameful thing I've ever seen.
00:21:28.000 Where's his dad?
00:21:30.000 So this whole notion of singing Puerto Ricans is kind of at the core of our satire.
00:21:35.000 He's not Puerto Rican.
00:21:36.000 That guy's not a Puerto Rican.
00:21:39.000 Uh, probably not, but if you listen, there's another link he sent us of him doing Under Da Bridge.
00:21:45.000 Who's that?
00:21:46.000 That guy looks pretty Puerto Rican.
00:21:48.000 No, you can't tell a Puerto Rican.
00:21:50.000 You don't even know what a jellybean is.
00:21:51.000 I bet he's Puerto Rican.
00:21:53.000 Adam Jacobs.
00:21:54.000 Adam Jacobs.
00:21:56.000 Could be Jewish.
00:21:58.000 Anyway, so I was, I woke up late, 10 o'clock.
00:22:02.000 I didn't feel like going to the gym.
00:22:03.000 I already went four days this week, so I didn't do Purple Works.
00:22:06.000 But I'll tell you what, if I hadn't done already four days... Filipino-Jewish?
00:22:15.000 That is basically a homemade Puerto Rican.
00:22:17.000 Hell no.
00:22:18.000 Yes it is.
00:22:20.000 Look at fucking...
00:22:22.000 We love pork.
00:22:24.000 Bruno Mars is a homemade Puerto Rican.
00:22:27.000 He doesn't look Puerto Rican.
00:22:28.000 If you have no Puerto Ricans available and the stores are closed, just mix some Filipinos with some Jews and you have a Puerto Rican.
00:22:35.000 I don't think you know what Puerto Rican people look like.
00:22:37.000 I think you assume all Latinos are Puerto Ricans.
00:22:39.000 A smart Puerto Rican, that's what you make.
00:22:42.000 But if I did want to go to work out, I would just take a small scoop of Purpleworks Nutrition, and I would start getting the pringles, the tingles, the pricklies, and I would have to go to the gym.
00:22:55.000 Or I'd be fucking on edge all day.
00:22:58.000 I've never taken Purpleworks and not worked out.
00:23:00.000 I don't think you can.
00:23:02.000 It's a way to rape yourself into working out.
00:23:05.000 You heard it here, folks.
00:23:06.000 New slogan.
00:23:07.000 Purpleworks.
00:23:08.000 It's how to rape yourself.
00:23:09.000 Rape yourself to gym.
00:23:12.000 Rape yourself into working out.
00:23:13.000 And then when you're there too, you know what else I notice about Purple Works?
00:23:17.000 I kind of enjoy working out.
00:23:19.000 Like we were doing flies, and sometimes I could cheat on flies, but I was like, no, I want to go way back here and fucking, I had pain on my tits the next day, and really do slow ones.
00:23:34.000 I fucking get it done.
00:23:37.000 And it's not just for
00:23:40.000 It's for working out, it's for all sports, it's for endurance sports too, like running.
00:23:52.000 They also put out this coffee, this fancy coffee.
00:24:01.000 So go to purpleworksnutrition.com.
00:24:03.000 Wait, you found under the bridge?
00:24:06.000 No, I'm just playing this jukebox here for a b-roll.
00:24:09.000 No, play Under the Bridge, I asked you 900 billion years ago.
00:24:12.000 I don't know, you're doing your read.
00:24:17.000 I'm doing a read?
00:24:19.000 You're doing a read.
00:24:20.000 Yeah, but we've already done a song in this read, so why would you use doing a read as an excuse not to do another song?
00:24:27.000 Well, while you're talking.
00:24:28.000 Uh, have you got it yet?
00:24:35.000 Yes, 1-1000, 2-1000, 3-1000, 4-1000, 5-1000.
00:24:37.000 See, they gotta add lyrics when they're doing instruments.
00:24:48.000 It's not do-do-do-do-do.
00:24:49.000 So you go, I don't wanna feel.
00:24:52.000 Promo code Gavin.
00:25:00.000 So this is Medium John coming up.
00:25:12.000 He went to school to learn this.
00:25:15.000 That's awesome.
00:25:16.000 Like he was in class.
00:25:18.000 I guess with someone going like this?
00:25:20.000 You're lonely because you're in an a cappella group.
00:25:36.000 That's awesome.
00:25:40.000 Acapella.
00:25:42.000 You know who likes acapella?
00:25:43.000 What's his face?
00:25:46.000 Skinny Guy from Red Eye?
00:25:49.000 Yeah.
00:25:49.000 Tom Shalhoub?
00:25:50.000 No, he does barbershop stuff.
00:25:52.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:25:53.000 Barbershop quartet.
00:25:55.000 Yeah, that's not, that's not gay.
00:25:57.000 That's not embarrassing.
00:26:01.000 Opie put this out.
00:26:02.000 If you check out Opie Radio, he gets like 42 views when he discusses anything but Anthony.
00:26:08.000 When he mentions Anthony Cumia, he gets some views.
00:26:10.000 So his two big things are, I don't want to talk about Anthony Cumia anymore.
00:26:14.000 That was long ago.
00:26:15.000 I hate that fucking guy.
00:26:16.000 And then posting shit like this, where I'm a little hurt that he couldn't put my face on Frank's face.
00:26:26.000 You see that?
00:26:27.000 He's acting like he doesn't even know me.
00:26:29.000 They're having a good time, too.
00:26:32.000 So are we.
00:26:38.000 Bill Burr just reviewed Jason Scoop's Bill Burr impression.
00:26:43.000 And what did he say?
00:26:43.000 Ah, it's pretty good.
00:26:45.000 Why didn't yours make it on the list?
00:26:47.000 I don't know if I put it out there good enough.
00:26:49.000 My only one is the helicopter one.
00:26:53.000 No, I got a couple on there.
00:26:54.000 Probably because I'm a racist anti-Semite.
00:26:54.000 I don't know.
00:26:57.000 You can't just go around calling people fat!
00:27:02.000 I wish I was still that animated.
00:27:03.000 I'd get rid of this f***ing COVID weight.
00:27:05.000 Hey, Vanity Fair peoples, I'm Bill Burr!
00:27:08.000 Yeah, you said you liked it.
00:27:11.000 Yeah, that's fantastic.
00:27:12.000 These people, they're doing a really good job.
00:27:15.000 I just was watching the mannerisms.
00:27:16.000 It was really just... This guy and the last guy, they just... I started remembering gigs where I recorded myself and would go back because, you know, making a tape trying to get like an agent or something like that.
00:27:29.000 And during this period of my career...
00:27:32.000 I couldn't watch myself.
00:27:33.000 I'm like, what am I doing?
00:27:35.000 Why am I moving around like that?
00:27:37.000 What he's doing there, that was all like nervous energy, frustration with where my career was at.
00:27:43.000 And then he's hanging out with Steve Will Do It.
00:27:45.000 Best Trump impressions ever.
00:27:46.000 Donald!
00:27:52.000 His bats are hot.
00:27:53.000 He's like the Mets.
00:27:55.000 Well, don't curse him like that.
00:27:58.000 Cause then that means soon he will suck.
00:28:01.000 Soon he will not get anywhere near the World Series.
00:28:04.000 Uh, speaking of sprinkles, there's some Jewish broad sprinkles here that are pretty good.
00:28:12.000 Apparently this chick's never funny, but even a broken clock is right twice a day.
00:28:16.000 I don't know.
00:28:16.000 I'm not familiar with her, but this is definitely sprinkly.
00:28:21.000 Oh wait.
00:28:23.000 Yeah, the duck.
00:28:23.000 You gotta see the duck one first.
00:28:26.000 Oh.
00:28:27.000 Is that the duck?
00:28:29.000 No, I sent that- I heard you open it this morning.
00:28:33.000 It was sent as a video attachment.
00:28:35.000 People are just clogging my fucking- I'm filling up my hard drive.
00:28:38.000 Can't you just send me a link?
00:28:39.000 Why are you- why are you giving me a 15 megabyte movie?
00:28:44.000 And then I delete it if I don't like it, but I don't even know if it's deleted.
00:28:51.000 All because of the duck, is it?
00:28:56.000 That was good.
00:28:57.000 Shit, duck!
00:28:58.000 All because of the duck, is it?
00:29:01.000 You have to have another duck ready.
00:29:03.000 I don't want to show you how the sausage is made, but you have to have another guy with a duck ready to throw at your friend.
00:29:07.000 It's a two duck prank.
00:29:08.000 Double duck.
00:29:09.000 It's a double duck prank.
00:29:10.000 And this one, here's this Jewish broad being funny.
00:29:13.000 It's a Jew broad.
00:29:15.000 I like this kind of joke.
00:29:17.000 Oh, that's nice.
00:29:21.000 She's pretty, too.
00:29:22.000 Knock, knock.
00:29:23.000 Who's there?
00:29:23.000 Car go.
00:29:24.000 Car go who?
00:29:25.000 Car don't go who, it go vroom vroom.
00:29:28.000 You got that.
00:29:30.000 Kind of sounds like you think that I don't know car go vroom vroom.
00:29:35.000 Well, the joke makes it sound like that.
00:29:36.000 No, I heard the joke.
00:29:37.000 I heard the joke.
00:29:38.000 And you said, and I quote just now, car don't go who.
00:29:43.000 Car go vroom vroom as if I thought that car went who.
00:29:47.000 But of course, car has never said who and car never will say who.
00:29:50.000 Car don't go owl.
00:29:52.000 Car, car, car, save room, room, because car always save room, room, car never say who.
00:29:58.000 Exactly.
00:29:58.000 Yeah.
00:29:59.000 So, uh, because I'm a woman, I don't know anything about cars.
00:30:02.000 No, no, no.
00:30:02.000 Let me tell you.
00:30:03.000 Cars go vroom, vroom.
00:30:04.000 Cars don't go whoo.
00:30:05.000 Is this a car?
00:30:06.000 Whoo!
00:30:07.000 Whoo!
00:30:07.000 Whoo!
00:30:07.000 Whoo!
00:30:08.000 No, it's not, baby.
00:30:08.000 It's not.
00:30:09.000 Is this a car?
00:30:10.000 I'm Harry Potter's little animal friend.
00:30:12.000 No.
00:30:13.000 No.
00:30:14.000 I think you've been mistaken and think that a car is an owl.
00:30:19.000 But I know better than that.
00:30:20.000 I know car go vroom, vroom.
00:30:21.000 I know big truck go vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.
00:30:26.000 And I know all about Toyota carombos.
00:30:29.000 I know a lot about cars.
00:30:31.000 What'd she say?
00:30:31.000 Toyota what?
00:30:32.000 Carombos?
00:30:33.000 I just felt like I was on the freeway there.
00:30:35.000 Slow down.
00:30:37.000 Maybe you should go go.
00:30:42.000 No.
00:30:45.000 I just didn't know you knew that much about cars.
00:30:46.000 Maybe you should go go.
00:30:49.000 Get in your car and vroom vroom.
00:30:53.000 Hey baby!
00:30:55.000 I was wondering how that would end.
00:30:57.000 I've noticed with the young, the people of the youth movements today, they're called young people, I believe.
00:31:05.000 They're really good at sort of Mr. Showing a bit, where it's pretty funny, but then it goes crazy and then it gets crazier and crazier.
00:31:14.000 That's the first time I saw that was on Mr. Show.
00:31:17.000 And it's become a sort of modern genre.
00:31:21.000 Like this funny balloon sketch that I say has the sprinkles.
00:31:27.000 We all die!
00:31:27.000 If we let this balloon fall down, we die.
00:31:31.000 I'm gonna do it!
00:31:33.000 I swear to God!
00:31:34.000 Go back to the beginning.
00:31:35.000 You started like... If this balloon touches the ground, we all die!
00:31:37.000 I'm gonna do it!
00:31:41.000 I swear to God!
00:31:43.000 I'll fucking do it!
00:31:49.000 Sorry.
00:31:51.000 Couldn't risk it.
00:31:55.000 What is he wearing?
00:32:19.000 The Guardians.
00:32:21.000 First guy walks like a Jew.
00:32:22.000 Yes.
00:32:24.000 Every week will be a new mission with a larger overarching plot introduced at the end of season one with a two part episode.
00:32:31.000 You are all now the Balloon Boys.
00:32:34.000 This balloon touches the ground.
00:32:37.000 Great.
00:32:38.000 That's awesome.
00:32:40.000 I want to be a balloon boy.
00:32:44.000 And that brings me to my Patriots supply.
00:32:50.000 Most emergencies come without warning, and when the next one comes, you won't have a second to spare on packing and preparing.
00:32:56.000 You need to get ready now before an emergency strikes, and one may soon.
00:33:01.000 Your supplies should be within reach, ready to grab, and at a moment's notice.
00:33:04.000 Secure those supplies at preparewithgavin.com.
00:33:09.000 Start with four-week emergency food kits from My Patriot Supply, helping millions of American families prepare.
00:33:16.000 Since 2008, My Patriot Supply are the experts in all things self-reliance.
00:33:23.000 Their four-week emergency food kits offer over 2,000 calories every day.
00:33:27.000 Protected by heavy-duty, four-layer packaging, these kits last up to 25 years in storage.
00:33:33.000 Uh...
00:34:01.000 I, last week I just tried to, I just talked, I mentioned the advertisers and I think Purple Works liked it.
00:34:09.000 I don't think Patriot Supply was a fan and they sent me a little thing going, hey, probably just read the copy next week.
00:34:17.000 And I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, don't wing it.
00:34:19.000 So as I was reading that, I was also hurt inside that they don't like my ad-libbing.
00:34:26.000 Speaking of ad-libbing, Ryan got himself some new sort of Mickey Mouse shoes.
00:34:33.000 What?
00:34:34.000 Where'd you get these shoes?
00:34:35.000 What are they, little brown little plugs?
00:34:37.000 I don't know what it is, but I guarantee it's not gonna be... What are those?
00:34:42.000 Those look too big.
00:34:43.000 You look like Popeye in that.
00:34:44.000 Does that sound like me?
00:34:50.000 Well, I've never heard you speak your mother tongue.
00:34:54.000 So how are we playing this?
00:34:56.000 Meanwhile, you've stormed out every single day for I'm not even gonna mention why.
00:34:59.000 I've explained that every single time and it's been pretty clear why.
00:35:04.000 You don't think like maybe on the... on the Eve of you storming out, maybe don't go?
00:35:11.000 The Eve?
00:35:12.000 So I'm storming out tomorrow?
00:35:14.000 Who knows?
00:35:15.000 You know what Christmas Eve is?
00:35:18.000 Well, I mean... You know what Hallow's Eve means?
00:35:20.000 Halloween?
00:35:22.000 Well, the Eve, because, I mean, you're not going to like this, but somebody made a great iceberg of you.
00:35:30.000 And there's lots of good stuff in there.
00:35:31.000 There's Vice, Proud Boys, 9-11, Censored.tv, Punk.
00:35:35.000 That's at the top.
00:35:37.000 Oh, these are the things I talk about?
00:35:38.000 Yeah.
00:35:40.000 And we can't show this meme because as you get lower, let's see, we got Warren Flip Flops, Burbwich is the Bald Eagle, Man Pond, Dream Jokes, remember, the eight, Indian Joker Face, Milo Kiss, I'm gonna skip that one, My Lime,
00:35:57.000 Buttplug, Bath with Ryan, Rubik's Cube in Jail, Rickety Cricket, Jamaica, ba-ba-ba, Wheelchair Date, Peyronie's Disease, Phrenulum.
00:36:08.000 I don't remember that one.
00:36:09.000 What's the Phrenulum?
00:36:10.000 Phrenelum is the part of your penis that holds your foreskin on and sort of, this is also a Phrenelum.
00:36:17.000 I hear in your tongue.
00:36:18.000 What's that?
00:36:22.000 The eve of the walkout.
00:36:24.000 I mean, so you'd show that hilarious Chinese guy who looks like Ryan.
00:36:30.000 And I can't show this.
00:36:32.000 Or that.
00:36:34.000 Or this.
00:36:36.000 Or this, or this, or that.
00:36:38.000 Or this.
00:36:39.000 Even though it's accurate.
00:36:41.000 Or this.
00:36:44.000 I mean, that one's really bad.
00:36:46.000 Or this one.
00:36:47.000 Or that one.
00:36:49.000 And I definitely can't make an entire
00:36:53.000 Background of Chins.