Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 17, 2024


S5E93 - YOUR INSULTS ARE COMPLIMENTS (FREE PART)


Episode Stats

Length

35 minutes

Words per Minute

157.75665

Word Count

5,532

Sentence Count

572

Misogynist Sentences

14

Hate Speech Sentences

16


Summary

It's the final day of Rock 'n' Rollergasm week, and Gavin McInnes is here to talk about it. The Clash are taking on The Sex Pistols in the Battle of the Bands tonight, and it's a good one. He also talks about his time growing up in high school in the 70s and early 80s listening to The Clash, and what it's like to be a kid growing up with a rock and roll idol. And, of course, he talks about the death of punk rock icon Joe Strangela. It's the last night of Rock n' Roll Week, and he's here to remind you that it's still possible to be cool when you're a kid in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, even if you don't remember the music you grew up listening to. Get Off My Lawn! Get On My Lawn with Gav's Lawn is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what's going on in music, pop culture, and social media! Subscribe to our new bi-weekly newsletter, Native Creative, where we discuss all things Native Creative! Get the latest updates on Native Creative and everything Native Creative. Send us your thoughts, thoughts, opinions, reviews, and shout outs! on socials by tagging us and we'll get them on the next episode of Gav on the pod! Thanks for listening and spreading the word out there! Love ya. -Gavin -PODCAST . . . Subscribe and Share the word to your thoughts and thoughts about this podcast! , and spread the word about it to your friends about it on your ig! and other things related to it! PODCASTING! or GAVY! . , or whatever you're listening to this podcast is going to be the most important thing you can do, right? on your feed! in the pod? Subscribe on Podchaser, subscribe on Apple Podcasts, subscribe so we can spread it around the world, and spread it everywhere else! XOXO, and all that good stuff like that's cool, and more like it's not just like that! -p=1PODCASTS, and other cool things like that, right?! Thanks, Gav, and good vibing!


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:48.000 Somebody got murdered last night.
00:00:50.000 That was The Clash.
00:00:51.000 This is the final day of Rock Week.
00:00:54.000 We had Surf Rock.
00:00:56.000 We had bands I've known over the years.
00:01:00.000 We had the Sex Pistols, Timeline, Sex Pistols, Battle of the Bands.
00:01:05.000 They're at number one now.
00:01:07.000 Tonight we will have The Clash in Battle of the Bands and I gotta be honest, I kind of hope they win.
00:01:14.000 They were around much longer than the Sex Pistols and we judge bands by hit jams per year.
00:01:22.000 So ideally, you know, you put out Back in Black and then you break up and you'd win.
00:01:26.000 But The Clash put out a lot of jams.
00:01:31.000 And Sandinista, I have a live version there too.
00:01:34.000 Sandinista was always known as their shit album.
00:01:38.000 Sort of like Crass's Yes Sir I Will.
00:01:41.000 But I was going over it this week.
00:01:44.000 There's a lot of gold in there.
00:01:46.000 They needed an editor.
00:01:47.000 It's four albums.
00:01:49.000 It's a four album album.
00:01:51.000 But this is a jam?
00:01:53.000 And it's weird.
00:01:55.000 I love that.
00:01:55.000 This must be Mick Jones singing?
00:01:57.000 I don't know.
00:01:58.000 And I love how Mick Jones, his songs are so different from Joe's drummers.
00:02:02.000 So they're kind of like two bands.
00:02:05.000 And ultimately that led to their demise after they made the egregious error of kicking Mick Jones out.
00:02:13.000 Oh, that's their new drummer.
00:02:18.000 He's got that little...
00:02:27.000 God, it must have been great to see them.
00:02:29.000 I missed it.
00:02:30.000 They were doing the Mohawk Revenge Tour, and guys at my school went to it, and I wasn't cool enough at the time.
00:02:36.000 I think I was 12, and there was cool 12-year-olds in my school.
00:02:40.000 And I didn't know.
00:02:42.000 I know that will come as a shock to some people.
00:02:44.000 I used to be not cool.
00:02:47.000 I only started being cool at 14.
00:02:50.000 And did you know that almost every cool person was uncool much later?
00:02:56.000 Justin Theroux is the only guy I know who was cool when he was, like, 13.
00:03:02.000 Younger than me.
00:03:04.000 But, like, my favorite artist, Wes Lang?
00:03:06.000 What are you showing there?
00:03:07.000 That's not you?
00:03:09.000 No, you fucking moron.
00:03:10.000 Okay, fuck.
00:03:12.000 It's in your article.
00:03:14.000 Yeah, it's the author of the article, genius.
00:03:17.000 Alright, how the fuck am I supposed to know?
00:03:18.000 Did you read it?
00:03:19.000 How was I supposed to know?
00:03:20.000 Did you read that article?
00:03:21.000 That looks like a young you.
00:03:24.000 Did you read that article?
00:03:26.000 No, I don't have time to read an article.
00:03:27.000 I'm trying to pull up old pictures of you.
00:03:29.000 No, I don't mean... There's going to be no pictures of me when I was 12.
00:03:33.000 I mean, have you ever read that article?
00:03:35.000 Yeah.
00:03:37.000 You forgot about that picture?
00:03:40.000 I don't know that reading the article would inform that's not you or you.
00:03:44.000 Is that you?
00:03:45.000 It's called a photo caption.
00:03:48.000 No, that's not me.
00:03:49.000 That's a joke.
00:03:52.000 Ugh.
00:03:53.000 But you've read that article before.
00:03:56.000 Yeah, I don't remember the fucking thing.
00:03:58.000 How do you not remember an article you read?
00:04:00.000 I mean, I don't understand how the words in the article would inform whether or not a picture looks or does not look like you.
00:04:05.000 Like, I don't remember that pictures include, I don't remember, I don't have a photographic memory of the article.
00:04:10.000 It's called a photo caption.
00:04:12.000 They show the picture of the guy, and then it says what you're looking at.
00:04:16.000 I was just trying to be quick.
00:04:17.000 I mean, I typed in Gavin McInnes Young.
00:04:19.000 I saw a picture I'd never seen before.
00:04:20.000 I'm like, huh?
00:04:21.000 Is that you?
00:04:22.000 And then you could just be like, that's not me.
00:04:23.000 Okay.
00:04:24.000 Let's move on.
00:04:24.000 But you have read the article.
00:04:27.000 Yeah.
00:04:29.000 But I'm supposed to remember that?
00:04:30.000 I mean, I'm, I'm, I have a life too, you know, like what the fuck?
00:04:33.000 I'm supposed to remember the article.
00:04:35.000 You see a picture and you go, Oh, that's the author.
00:04:37.000 I do not remember that.
00:04:39.000 Nor do I, I don't, I don't feel bad for not remembering that.
00:04:42.000 That's weird.
00:04:45.000 When I read a photo caption about a picture, I remember the picture.
00:04:48.000 That's interesting.
00:04:50.000 It's a magic talent that only I have.
00:04:53.000 Does it have to pertain to things that you give a shit about?
00:04:55.000 Like it's your article about you?
00:04:57.000 So I guess that makes sense that you would remember that.
00:05:00.000 No.
00:05:00.000 Any article where I see the author and they write about themselves in it, because that article is a lot about him, I go, oh, that's the author that wrote this.
00:05:10.000 Huh.
00:05:11.000 I'm trying to find that picture of you with dreads.
00:05:13.000 It's like not easy to find.
00:05:15.000 That was 23.
00:05:16.000 I'm talking about pre-14.
00:05:18.000 Anyway, like Wes Lang.
00:05:19.000 That's something you should be looking up.
00:05:21.000 Great artist.
00:05:22.000 Great guy.
00:05:23.000 Incredibly cool.
00:05:25.000 And I'm talking about cool in a very objective, separate, distanced way.
00:05:32.000 It's a thing.
00:05:32.000 It's a phenomenon.
00:05:34.000 I was going to do a whole documentary about cool.
00:05:37.000 The problem with cool is people think you mean awesome.
00:05:40.000 No.
00:05:42.000 People can be cool and I don't even like them.
00:05:44.000 So you know, like, I'm cool with you?
00:05:46.000 That's different.
00:05:47.000 I'm talking about cool.
00:05:48.000 Cool started in 1953 with James Dean and 55 with Marlon Brando.
00:05:57.000 The Wild One and what was the other one?
00:06:01.000 Rebel Without a Cause were the beginning of cool.
00:06:04.000 Have you found Wes Lange yet?
00:06:06.000 Yeah, I showed him.
00:06:07.000 Yeah, that guy.
00:06:08.000 So I said, wait, were you not always cool?
00:06:12.000 And he goes, yeah, I was cool.
00:06:13.000 And he showed me a picture of him when he was like 20 and he was a raver.
00:06:16.000 I go, dude, that doesn't, no, you weren't cool until you were like 23.
00:06:22.000 Um, but yeah, it started with those two.
00:06:27.000 That was the beginning of cool and wearing t-shirts and leather jackets.
00:06:32.000 And then that evolved into, you know, like the Fonz and all that kind of shit in the 70s and 80s.
00:06:40.000 But yeah, the people that you know of as cool were fucking losers.
00:06:45.000 You should see Scott Campbell.
00:06:46.000 Look him up, the tattooist.
00:06:48.000 He was a fat piece of shit until he was like 20.
00:06:52.000 Yeah, that guy.
00:06:56.000 He's known as one of the cool people.
00:06:59.000 Total nerd.
00:07:01.000 Fat, ugly nerd.
00:07:02.000 With a giant nose.
00:07:05.000 When he married Lake Bell.
00:07:06.000 When you get old, doesn't the loser-ness start to come back a little bit?
00:07:11.000 Oh, absolutely.
00:07:11.000 Well, he still acts like a fat guy.
00:07:13.000 He's really into celebrities.
00:07:15.000 I married one.
00:07:16.000 I think they're divorced now.
00:07:17.000 She left him for Chris Rock, I believe.
00:07:21.000 But you also can't be cool when you're old.
00:07:24.000 Cool should start with puberty and it ends, no matter what you want, it ends at 29.
00:07:32.000 Sorry.
00:07:32.000 There's, it's very, very difficult to be cool.
00:07:36.000 Like maybe Josh Homie of Foo Fighters and Eagles of Death Metal.
00:07:43.000 I mean, he's pretty good at being cool in his old age, but it's a challenge.
00:07:52.000 Queens of the Stone Age guy.
00:07:54.000 Yeah.
00:07:56.000 Purpleworks, I'm on it right now.
00:07:58.000 I did not want to work out today.
00:08:01.000 We did an experiment this week where I said, I have tons of shit to say, let's just fucking, instead of trying to keep it to an hour twenty a day, let's just give like five hours a day of content.
00:08:12.000 And it sucks.
00:08:15.000 I am burnt out.
00:08:16.000 I woke up this morning thinking, oh good, it's Saturday and the kids don't have baseball.
00:08:21.000 I'm a free man.
00:08:23.000 And I was lying to myself.
00:08:24.000 It's Friday.
00:08:26.000 See, I'll prove it.
00:08:28.000 New York Post, Fauci admitted that we made COVID.
00:08:32.000 Uh, so I was like, I don't want to go to the gym.
00:08:36.000 I don't want to fight a man on a fake day.
00:08:40.000 This was supposed to be Saturday.
00:08:41.000 You lied to me.
00:08:42.000 So I, I had my purple works and what that does is it infests your body with ants.
00:08:48.000 You get ants in your pants and then you have to go to the gym.
00:08:52.000 You have no choice or you're going to be sitting at your desk like all prickly.
00:08:56.000 So I had my proper works.
00:08:59.000 I was not exactly sending the heavy bag off the chains.
00:09:04.000 But I got a good seven rounds in.
00:09:08.000 Didn't do any sparring.
00:09:09.000 Did the sit-ups, the push-ups.
00:09:10.000 And now I feel much better about myself than if I didn't go.
00:09:14.000 So, it's called gym rape.
00:09:19.000 And Purple Works endorses gym rape.
00:09:22.000 What you do is you rape yourself.
00:09:24.000 And once you've had, and I don't do a whole bucket thing, the whole scoop, I just do like a teaspoon.
00:09:31.000 Do a teaspoon of Purple Works, whatever your, because there's a lot of caffeine in it.
00:09:34.000 It's got, what does it got in it?
00:09:38.000 Creatine for strength, high quality caffeine, green tea extract for energy and focus, vitamins for muscle and tissue repair, and carnosine beta alanine for the tingles.
00:09:47.000 That's the ants I was talking about.
00:09:53.000 And... And yeah, if I didn't have Purpleworks, I wouldn't have made it to the gym today.
00:10:00.000 I'm sure glad I did.
00:10:02.000 Oh yeah, sorry, I was talking about the scoop.
00:10:04.000 So if you have a high tolerance for caffeine, which I do not have.
00:10:06.000 If I have two coffees, I have AIDS.
00:10:09.000 So, you have whatever you can handle.
00:10:14.000 From a few sprinkles to a scoop.
00:10:18.000 And then you'll make yourself work out against your will.
00:10:22.000 No way would I do that much!
00:10:28.000 You do pre-workout?
00:10:30.000 I do.
00:10:30.000 Do you do a whole scoop?
00:10:32.000 Yeah, I did the other night of guerrilla mode.
00:10:36.000 The other night?
00:10:37.000 Yes.
00:10:37.000 You do a scoop of- I bet you didn't sleep till 5 a.m.
00:10:41.000 Dude, I was- I got permission to go because like everything has to be done in the house and then the kids have to be a certain level of asleep before I could-
00:10:49.000 Maybe go to the gym.
00:10:50.000 And so everything was, the path was cleared.
00:10:52.000 I took my pre-workout, um, the stimulant and then a stimulant free.
00:10:56.000 So I did a mix.
00:10:58.000 One of them's supposed to give you a big pump.
00:10:59.000 The other one's supposed to give you a lot of energy.
00:11:01.000 I just sat in the car in the discord, the Gavin McInnes discord, and argued, uh, about Catholicism for two hours on pre-workout.
00:11:09.000 I'm just sitting there like, and you know, the doctrine,
00:11:13.000 It wasn't like that loud, but it was you know the tingles that you work out No, I just sat in the car and argued Catholicism Wow, so it didn't bear much charitability, but did you get to sleep at a reasonable hour?
00:11:28.000 Yeah, I have no problem.
00:11:29.000 I could drink a cup of coffee right before taking a nap.
00:11:31.000 I don't know what's happening there.
00:11:32.000 Oh
00:11:33.000 You know what I've been thinking about recently?
00:11:35.000 Everyone says, yeah, caffeine doesn't make you more awake.
00:11:41.000 What it does is, it makes your body forget that you're tired.
00:11:46.000 So there's a chemical that your brain releases when you're tired, and it stops that chemical so you don't even know that you're actually tired.
00:11:53.000 Shut the fuck up.
00:11:54.000 I'm so sick of hearing that.
00:11:55.000 It's always on Rogan and shit.
00:11:58.000 If I have two coffees, I shoot diarrhea out of my ass.
00:12:03.000 What about that?
00:12:04.000 I have explosive diarrhea if I have three coffees.
00:12:07.000 Is that me forgetting that I don't have diarrhea?
00:12:11.000 And what do Italians do after a big meal with all their pasta?
00:12:15.000 They have a little shot of espresso after dinner.
00:12:18.000 What's that doing?
00:12:19.000 It's helping them digest.
00:12:20.000 They're not forgetting they're not tired.
00:12:22.000 So I hereby
00:12:25.000 Defy that whole forgetting you're tired thing my wife told me the other day that sugar life my life We've been rewarding my daughter with With macaroons if she goes to poop by herself like on her own don't get those two confused Don't get each switch if she does a macaroon then we give her poop.
00:12:44.000 Yeah, I
00:12:46.000 Oops.
00:12:47.000 I gotta text my wife.
00:12:48.000 Yeah.
00:12:49.000 I would have gone with jujubes.
00:12:51.000 Right.
00:12:52.000 Um, but you know, right before bed, I was like, well, we would probably carry that over, give her the macaroon tomorrow.
00:12:57.000 And she said, no, that's a myth.
00:12:58.000 Sugar doesn't actually give you energy.
00:13:00.000 And I'm like, I don't believe you.
00:13:03.000 And for the, my whole, I think they do this on purpose.
00:13:05.000 Like the scientific community will like drop stuff to be like, you don't actually know what's real anymore.
00:13:10.000 Well, I hate to abandon you, but I do think that's true.
00:13:13.000 What?
00:13:14.000 Yeah, I think, okay, you can get rid of the Purple Works shit.
00:13:18.000 I think it comes from kids' parties.
00:13:21.000 Kids have parties, and they get fed sugar, and they're running around like maniacs, because it's so fun, because they're at a party, which I wish kids were always at all days.
00:13:30.000 Kids should be partying their entire childhood, but that's another story for another day.
00:13:34.000 So I think that's why we think it makes them hyper.
00:13:36.000 I don't know.
00:13:40.000 Does sugar make you hyper?
00:13:43.000 I get a boost.
00:13:43.000 Yeah, the other day me and Matty were kind of like lethargic.
00:13:46.000 Him because of his heart issues and then me because I'm Puerto Rican and we both ate a candy bar and we were just like, zing?
00:13:54.000 Oh yeah, they do talk about low blood sugar and stuff and I know this is for diabetics.
00:13:59.000 I used to hang out with a diabetic and I'd notice he was acting weird.
00:14:02.000 Logie we used to call it and I would go get him a Gatorade and all of a sudden his brain would come back.
00:14:06.000 So yeah, maybe it is a thing.
00:14:09.000 I was going to play the song Lads Lads Lads by the Lambrini Girls as the opening song and it's anti-dude.
00:14:19.000 They're good.
00:14:20.000 It's rock week.
00:14:34.000 So this song is making fun of us.
00:14:52.000 So anyway, it's sort of like, like there's this Proud Boys book that's out and a Proud Boy was telling me about it and he goes, it's supposed to be anti-Proud Boy, but I read it and I was just like, we're awesome.
00:15:04.000 So lads in Britain is like Chad's, like not quite soccer hooligans, but that type of guy.
00:15:08.000 And it's all about, you know, how horrible we are.
00:15:11.000 And I'll tell you when I've had enough, he's saying to the bartender.
00:15:14.000 And I was like, this sounds cool.
00:15:17.000 I like this.
00:15:18.000 Like, I like your portrayal of me.
00:15:21.000 You're trying to hurt my feelings, but you're making me pumped.
00:15:24.000 This sounds cool.
00:15:26.000 You can see, this is them performing it live.
00:15:28.000 It sounds much worse, obviously.
00:15:30.000 Just like The Clash.
00:15:32.000 But that's who is writing about the lads.
00:15:35.000 So you can tell she's not in the mood for lads.
00:15:39.000 But...
00:15:41.000 We've talked about this a lot on the show.
00:15:45.000 We're so separate left and right these days.
00:15:47.000 There's no middle class anymore.
00:15:49.000 It's either rich or poor, as far as politics go.
00:15:51.000 And we're rich and they're poor, intellectually.
00:15:54.000 And when they hurl insults, we own them.
00:15:57.000 And we agree.
00:15:58.000 Sort of like when they would say they portrayed Trump as Darth Vader.
00:16:02.000 We're like, yeah.
00:16:04.000 It's even starting to happen to the Nazi thing.
00:16:06.000 They threw around Nazi so much that everything we liked they called a Nazi.
00:16:10.000 And we were like, OK, I guess I'm into Nazi shit.
00:16:14.000 You wrecked your brand, dummies.
00:16:16.000 And now your insults are compliments.
00:16:24.000 Walking down the high street looking for some fresh meat.
00:16:27.000 Yeah.
00:16:28.000 I want to fuck some chicks.
00:16:33.000 Also in the music rock and roll world, I saw there's this thing that lefties do where they reverse engineer things.
00:16:42.000 So I saw some article recently where it was about a shooting in New Orleans at a parade and the author, who's one of the worst, Mark Hertzgard or something, one of the worst white people there are, he said,
00:16:56.000 Blacks being murdered can be about racism, even if it's another black man who pulls the trigger.
00:17:04.000 Oh.
00:17:05.000 So a black-on-black crime is my fault.
00:17:08.000 Is it?
00:17:09.000 Okay.
00:17:10.000 A black guy shooting up a black parade is me.
00:17:13.000 That's his name, Mark Hertzgaard.
00:17:16.000 And this is why I get mad at the anti-semites, because I'm like, guys, guys, you're spending all your hate on one group.
00:17:21.000 There's a lot of white people that deserve your hate.
00:17:24.000 Don't just channel it just over there.
00:17:28.000 Get Mark Hertzgard.
00:17:30.000 Here we go.
00:17:32.000 Oh, he's the worst.
00:17:33.000 Look at his.
00:17:34.000 Executive Director of Covering Climate, Enviro Correspondent for The Nation.
00:17:40.000 He's like the personification of lefty San Franciscan.
00:17:45.000 Google image him, you'll clench your fists.
00:17:47.000 He looks like Cameron from Ferris Bueller.
00:17:50.000 Ferris Bueller, yeah.
00:17:51.000 Listen here, Rooney.
00:17:53.000 But Google Image the guy, he's so detestable.
00:17:57.000 And it started with that article.
00:17:59.000 But anyway, it's this reverse engineering.
00:18:01.000 So Morrissey's really popular in Mexico, and with a lot of Hispanics, but especially in Mexico.
00:18:07.000 And Morrissey's no dummy.
00:18:08.000 He knows that you have your... That book, by the way, Big Red's Mercy, is a book about a woman who forgives the black murderers for killing her husband at that parade.
00:18:22.000 What a great thing to do, forgive people who murder your family.
00:18:26.000 How commendable.
00:18:29.000 I don't forgive people who were rude to me in kindergarten.
00:18:33.000 That's my least favorite thing about Christianity is the forgiveness part.
00:18:37.000 Nope, it's not the Scottish way.
00:18:43.000 Anyway, I brought him up to talk about reverse engineering where you want, you have a hypothesis and you want it to be true.
00:18:48.000 So it's very simple.
00:18:49.000 Morrissey is popular in Mexico because he has big black hair and Mexicans have great hair.
00:18:55.000 So they like to do the Morrissey look with the big pompadour.
00:18:59.000 Say two.
00:19:00.000 That's it.
00:19:01.000 Sorry.
00:19:02.000 Very simple.
00:19:03.000 It's hair based.
00:19:05.000 But this guy's theory is awesome.
00:19:09.000 I really like Mexican people.
00:19:11.000 Why is this guy named Mauricio so revered in the Latin community?
00:19:15.000 Sells out stadiums everywhere.
00:19:16.000 It is because his biggest fan base is Mexican.
00:19:19.000 Latinos in general.
00:19:20.000 Why?
00:19:21.000 Because for the longest throughout history, our culture is synonymous with machismo, never showing your emotions, toxic masculinity, the whole kind of spectrum of that.
00:19:30.000 But for Mexicans specifically that were born here, or came to this country, here's a man who was ultimately proud to be vulnerable on stage, and also resonated with the music that we grew up with in Spanish.
00:19:46.000 It's very romantic.
00:19:47.000 And so he gave us permission to feel, to cry.
00:19:51.000 That's why Morrissey made it.
00:19:52.000 That's the universal... Wait, what is salsa merengue about the Smiths?
00:19:59.000 That doesn't sound remotely Mexican.
00:20:00.000 Where are the horns?
00:20:02.000 What are you talking- I hate academics.
00:20:04.000 I hate intellectuals.
00:20:06.000 They're just fucking word faggots.
00:20:12.000 Speaking of homos, Ryan has been behaving really badly these days.
00:20:18.000 And I don't-
00:20:20.000 Is that the Smiths?
00:20:21.000 Oh, it was.
00:20:21.000 It is.
00:20:21.000 Yeah, it's a cover.
00:20:22.000 So take it back.
00:20:24.000 Yeah.
00:20:25.000 That's the Smiths for doing a cover of this.
00:20:28.000 I really like Mariachi Man.
00:20:31.000 Yeah, Ryan pretends to be mr. Catholic.
00:20:33.000 He's on the discord talking about morality and He says he's happily married to his wife.
00:20:38.000 He'd never cheat on his wife and oh and then we catch him Arguing with some chick about how he's a better guitar player than Jimi Hendrix Well also cheating on his wife with her and we caught it on camera.
00:20:53.000 I'm not afraid to show it He's just playing guitar I don't see what the problem is
00:21:01.000 I haven't had a haircut like that in probably 12 years.
00:21:04.000 Oh, you're saying that's not you?
00:21:06.000 That's certainly not me.
00:21:07.000 And I don't have a sunburst telecaster or tri-burst fade.
00:21:11.000 That's clearly you.
00:21:13.000 And... That's not my guitar.
00:21:14.000 Here's a scoop, guys.
00:21:16.000 We have discovered his girlfriend, his secret mistress, that he's been hiding from everyone.
00:21:22.000 This is the chick Ryan's been fucking behind his wife's back, and she's been outed.
00:21:28.000 Bet you feel pretty uncomfortable right now, don't you, Ryan?
00:21:31.000 I don't know who the hell that is.
00:21:31.000 Uh-uh.
00:21:36.000 Oh, really?
00:21:38.000 Wait, is that a dude?
00:21:39.000 I thought it was a chick.
00:21:41.000 I hadn't heard the audio.
00:21:44.000 Not everything's about looks, Gavin.
00:21:50.000 Look how stupid that sandwich is.
00:21:53.000 It's a great recipe.
00:21:54.000 Just a pile of shit in a bun.
00:21:56.000 It looks bad, but it actually tastes good.
00:21:57.000 It takes a while.
00:22:00.000 And speaking of people in the community, Maddie's son has been marketing these bongs.
00:22:08.000 Maddie O'Dell's son.
00:22:09.000 And they're seemingly indestructible.
00:22:11.000 It's pretty impressive.
00:22:14.000 Look at his tits!
00:22:15.000 That's enough of that silliness.
00:22:16.000 Speaking of indestructible...
00:22:33.000 Jump Medic.
00:22:34.000 I know that guy.
00:22:35.000 The Jump Medic Emergency Hardshell Case is a brand new product from a friend of the show.
00:22:39.000 As you can see, it's compact but it still packs a punch and it's full of everything you need in a first aid kit.
00:22:44.000 It's got all the basics.
00:22:45.000 Splints, bandages, tape, and necessities like that.
00:22:48.000 It's even got Narcan, a rarity in a first aid kit.
00:22:51.000 Here's the kicker.
00:22:52.000 Only $149.
00:22:55.000 Check out this great first aid kit.
00:22:56.000 It's perfect for your boat, car, or RV.
00:22:58.000 The hardshell kit is so compact, you could probably even fit it on your motorcycle.
00:23:02.000 As always, Jump Medics first aid kits qualify for a tax rebate under FSA and health savings accounts programs.
00:23:07.000 If you don't have a first aid kit, or even if you do, go check out Jump Medic and enter promo code RyanSucks
00:23:12.000 For a great discount on all their great products, excluding items that are on sale.
00:23:17.000 This is what I keep saying about this.
00:23:19.000 You need a first aid kit, right?
00:23:20.000 There's a first aid kit in your home, there's a first aid kit in your RV, your boat, your car, road trips, you need one.
00:23:26.000 So that's just a given.
00:23:28.000 Now if you're getting a first aid kit, why not get it from someone who is MAGA, who supports free speech, who supports the show?
00:23:34.000 Like if we had a toilet paper sponsor.
00:23:36.000 You're getting toilet paper, so get it from a MAGA guy.
00:23:41.000 My optometrist is MAGA.
00:23:43.000 He's in the city.
00:23:44.000 I gotta go all the way down from the burbs to get my glasses fixed.
00:23:49.000 Or get new ones.
00:23:51.000 Your whole life should be as MAGA as possible.
00:23:53.000 You know how like these rappers talk about, we need to get like a black, a black entertainment and black dollar and black currency.
00:24:00.000 Only support black business.
00:24:02.000 One day we'll have our own black army.
00:24:03.000 I feel the same way, but MAGA.
00:24:08.000 Uh, let's dip into some sprinkles, shall we?
00:24:14.000 By the way, I'm not wearing Nita Fashions for the first time ever.
00:24:17.000 Just the shirt is Nita Fashions.
00:24:20.000 And once you get your basics with Nita Fashions and you can go to their Instagram, get on their DM, I don't even feel like I'm doing an ad for them.
00:24:28.000 I'm doing you a favor.
00:24:30.000 You go to their Instagram.
00:24:31.000 Pull that up, Jamie.
00:24:33.000 You DM them.
00:24:34.000 You set up an appointment.
00:24:35.000 You can wait until they're on tour, which is a few times a year they come by your town.
00:24:40.000 And then you get sized up.
00:24:42.000 And then after you get your basics, you can go like, what's the pinkest shirt you got?
00:24:46.000 And they go, well, this is a pink shirt.
00:24:48.000 And you go, no, I want you to go to the back room and bring out the pinkest pink you have.
00:24:54.000 And they go, well, we have a pink.
00:24:55.000 That's it's actually illegal.
00:24:58.000 And I don't think you could handle it.
00:24:59.000 And I go, I can handle it, sir.
00:25:02.000 Please just take this.
00:25:03.000 I say, Peter.
00:25:06.000 I got this.
00:25:07.000 Anil, I got this.
00:25:09.000 And they're like, buddy, you're being a crazy psycho, man.
00:25:12.000 We're not going to do it.
00:25:14.000 And then they pull this out and I get it and I can handle it.
00:25:20.000 Um, yeah, sorry.
00:25:22.000 That's, that's them.
00:25:23.000 Check them out.
00:25:24.000 DM them on, on Instagram, Nita Fashions.
00:25:26.000 They do all my suits except for this one.
00:25:29.000 And, uh, let's see some sprinkles.
00:25:33.000 The sprinkles.
00:25:50.000 This guy's awesome.
00:25:52.000 It's such a simple, dumb joke that he does with his Apple Vision Pro goggles.
00:26:00.000 With a... What do you call them?
00:26:05.000 Headphones string.
00:26:06.000 What the fuck is the matter with me?
00:26:07.000 A cord.
00:26:16.000 He just puts his credit card in ski goggles and has a cord sticking out.
00:26:32.000 I mean, it's possible.
00:26:33.000 They're not idiots for thinking it's real.
00:26:36.000 I just love this shit.
00:26:38.000 And they've all gone home and told their mom this.
00:26:42.000 There was a guy who pressed his face to my square space.
00:26:45.000 No, I promise you!
00:26:47.000 He has a screen and he can see it and he's changing things and he's choosing.
00:26:57.000 Wow, she's ugly.
00:27:00.000 Um...
00:27:02.000 This guy also, this is a good example of what I mean by sprinkles.
00:27:05.000 There's funny, hardworking, funny people who do funny stuff.
00:27:09.000 Okay.
00:27:10.000 Burt Kreischer, hardworking guy.
00:27:11.000 He's not, doesn't have the magic.
00:27:15.000 Louis C.K.
00:27:16.000 could read the back of a cereal box and he could make it funny.
00:27:19.000 And this guy, I don't know, he's just got the, he's got that special touch, that little magic dust.
00:27:28.000 I'm out here today talking shit to mailboxes on my rollerblades.
00:27:33.000 So when I'm done with my Big Mac, I put my tray on top.
00:27:36.000 You McDonald's looking piece of shit!
00:27:40.000 Mailbox?
00:27:41.000 More like this guy's litter box!
00:27:43.000 You piece of shit!
00:27:45.000 Who lives here?
00:27:47.000 Sally and Jack Skellington?
00:27:49.000 Piece of shit.
00:27:50.000 Oh, hey, Tin Man.
00:27:52.000 Sorry, I haven't seen Dorothy.
00:27:53.000 You heartless piece of shit.
00:27:57.000 That last one looked too small to hold any mail.
00:28:00.000 Like, what's that?
00:28:00.000 Just, like, business cards?
00:28:03.000 Aren't letters this long?
00:28:04.000 What are you getting in there?
00:28:05.000 Hmm.
00:28:08.000 Thing is a true piece of shit.
00:28:10.000 Now this guy, he's right on the line.
00:28:13.000 Doing Chinese accents, it worked for Ben Bankas, right?
00:28:16.000 Because no one was allowed to do them, so when you do them, everyone laughs.
00:28:19.000 Especially one billion Chinese.
00:28:22.000 But uh... And imitating your parents is also... I mean, I do it all the time, but it's kind of hack.
00:28:27.000 So I'll leave this up to you, Ryan.
00:28:30.000 Okay.
00:28:31.000 Hey dad, I was wondering if it was okay if I got a tattoo.
00:28:34.000 Hey dad, I'm gonna get a tattoo all over my body.
00:28:37.000 My face, my arms, my hands, my ass, my asshole.
00:28:41.000 I'm gonna do that one all over.
00:28:43.000 Motherfuck son, I'm gonna beat your ass.
00:28:46.000 Hey dad, I wanna start singing.
00:28:47.000 I feel like I have a really good voice.
00:28:48.000 Hey dad, I'm gonna drop out of school to become the SoundCloud rapper, okay?
00:28:52.000 So I'm not gonna become the doctor, scientist, mechanical engineer.
00:28:56.000 I'm not gonna do that one.
00:28:57.000 That's why you're never gonna beat your record to Kevin!
00:28:59.000 Hey, uh, Dad, is it okay if I sleep over at my, uh, friend's house?
00:29:03.000 Hey, Dad, I'm gonna sleep with multiple guys all at once, so basically you're gonna play the Monopoly in the bedroom.
00:29:10.000 What are you saying?
00:29:10.000 Hey, Dad, I wanna start taking creatine.
00:29:12.000 Is that okay?
00:29:12.000 Hey, Dad, I'm basically a drug addict.
00:29:15.000 I love the drug.
00:29:16.000 I can't go one day without crack, coke, heroin, Adderall.
00:29:20.000 I'm basically number one rank for drug addiction.
00:29:23.000 Motherfuck son!
00:29:24.000 Do you want to die?
00:29:26.000 Hey dad, is it okay if I take the car for like a late night drive?
00:29:28.000 Hey dad, I'm gonna take the car for a high-speed Paris chase, and then I'm gonna crash the car so it increase the insurance bill.
00:29:35.000 Why you do that one?
00:29:38.000 How you do that?
00:29:39.000 What do you think?
00:29:40.000 I feel like that could have ended quicker.
00:29:42.000 Yeah, the last two I was like, I get it, your dad is negative.
00:29:45.000 Yes.
00:29:46.000 But the concept is funny.
00:29:48.000 Like, I haven't really seen that before.
00:29:51.000 It's immigrants, man.
00:29:52.000 My dad was the same way.
00:29:54.000 He came from a world where the educated were successful and had great lives, and the uneducated died of alcoholism.
00:30:02.000 So if I didn't get educated, my life was over.
00:30:05.000 And if I dress punk in high school, I won't get educated.
00:30:10.000 So I had to hide my clothes in the bushes.
00:30:12.000 Did I ever tell you that?
00:30:13.000 No.
00:30:14.000 I would leave with like a polo on, and then there was a bush near the bus stop.
00:30:18.000 I had to take public transit because my dad got me into a better school that wasn't in our district by lying.
00:30:23.000 And so I would take public transit to get to school, but I'd have to change at the bus stop with these clothes I hid in a bush.
00:30:31.000 15C.
00:30:33.000 What is this now?
00:30:34.000 I forgot what this is.
00:30:35.000 15C.
00:30:39.000 Oh yeah, this guy, stop, stop, stop.
00:30:42.000 This guy goes up to people and pretends he knows them.
00:30:44.000 And I've done this a million times.
00:30:46.000 Like, talk to people that I have no idea who I'm talking to and they remember me but I don't remember them.
00:30:52.000 And then halfway through you start wondering, wait, are you fucking with me?
00:30:56.000 And you don't know me?
00:30:57.000 And you're tricking me?
00:30:58.000 That's what, that's what this guy does.
00:31:00.000 He is tricking them.
00:31:03.000 How you doing?
00:31:04.000 I'm good.
00:31:04.000 We've been trying to get a hold of you but the machine down at the office is broken right now.
00:31:08.000 Wrong guy.
00:31:10.000 Er, Justin?
00:31:11.000 Yeah, yeah!
00:31:12.000 Hey!
00:31:13.000 Hey dude!
00:31:14.000 I wonder what happened to you, man.
00:31:16.000 Bro, it's been rough, man.
00:31:18.000 I ain't seen you forever.
00:31:19.000 Yeah, um... Excuse us, sir.
00:31:23.000 The drywall deal in Newark.
00:31:25.000 Dude, yeah.
00:31:26.000 You still need that done, or?
00:31:28.000 Well, you know what?
00:31:29.000 I didn't know what happened, man.
00:31:31.000 I figured Brian would contact me.
00:31:32.000 Brian's always got my number.
00:31:34.000 Well, dude, that guy kept fucking with me, and I had to put him out.
00:31:40.000 So I got a big lawsuit going on right now.
00:31:43.000 Oh, is that your property?
00:31:44.000 I hit him with a hammer.
00:31:45.000 You know, I got pissed off.
00:31:47.000 No shit.
00:31:49.000 Yeah, I hit him upside the head with a hammer.
00:31:51.000 He was out for three and a half hours, man.
00:31:54.000 I know I complain about people wasting other people's time like with prank calls, but this doesn't feel like that.
00:32:17.000 I'm looking forward to going back this year.
00:32:18.000 The fucking food sucks.
00:32:21.000 You know?
00:32:23.000 Why haven't you been to the workhouse?
00:32:26.000 Oh dude, yeah.
00:32:27.000 Me too.
00:32:28.000 We call it Gladiator Tanks, you know?
00:32:34.000 Juice for milk.
00:32:35.000 Gladiator Tanks.
00:32:36.000 But you should have seen it, man.
00:32:37.000 Juice for milk.
00:32:39.000 Juice for milk?
00:32:40.000 He said.
00:32:40.000 Oh, juice for milk?
00:32:42.000 Yeah.
00:32:43.000 Yeah, that's the name of the thing.
00:32:44.000 That's hilarious.
00:32:45.000 Well, check out the next one.
00:32:47.000 Good variety with these, too.
00:32:56.000 Still losing your ass, huh?
00:32:58.000 How you doing, man?
00:32:59.000 How you been?
00:32:59.000 How you been doing?
00:33:00.000 Good, man.
00:33:01.000 I ain't seen you in a long time.
00:33:02.000 Oh my God.
00:33:05.000 Yeah, you see Mike?
00:33:06.000 No.
00:33:07.000 Mike got hit, bro.
00:33:09.000 What happened?
00:33:10.000 Dude, if you got his number, you need to text him to see how he's doing.
00:33:13.000 He got hit at the barbecue.
00:33:15.000 You know Steve, right?
00:33:17.000 Balboni.
00:33:18.000 Yeah, Steve Balboni.
00:33:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:33:19.000 Yeah, Steve Balboni.
00:33:20.000 Steve Balboni fucking hit Mike in the head and he's got a three and a half inch lump coming out the side of his head.
00:33:24.000 Did he go to jail?
00:33:25.000 This guy loves hitting in the head in the number three.
00:33:28.000 Did he go to jail?
00:33:30.000 Do you want Taco Bell?
00:33:33.000 Juice for milk, motherfucker.
00:33:35.000 What's Steve doing?
00:33:37.000 Dude, Steve's... He's smoking crypto again.
00:33:40.000 Did you know that?
00:33:41.000 No, I didn't know that.
00:33:42.000 He was in rehab twice last year.
00:33:43.000 He was in rehab.
00:33:44.000 I know that.
00:33:44.000 I didn't know he was smoking that shit, though.
00:33:45.000 Yeah, but you know what?
00:33:47.000 He's a good guy.
00:33:48.000 I like him.
00:33:50.000 What are you doing fucking geared up like this?
00:33:52.000 Back of rack.
00:33:52.000 Same gambling every day.
00:33:54.000 Same shit.
00:33:55.000 Nothing changes me.
00:33:56.000 I know.
00:33:56.000 Same shit every day.
00:33:57.000 I've been watching you for a while.
00:33:59.000 Yeah, I ain't seen you in a long time.
00:34:00.000 I know, dude.
00:34:01.000 I was in jail again.
00:34:04.000 Stealing purses?
00:34:05.000 Stealing purses?
00:34:07.000 Coach purses, the good ones.
00:34:08.000 You know, selling them in the hood.
00:34:12.000 But I'm not doing that shit anymore, so... Sooner or later they catch you.
00:34:16.000 You know how it works.
00:34:16.000 I got caught once, dude.
00:34:18.000 Did you go to prison or no?
00:34:19.000 Nah, six months in the fucking workhouse.
00:34:23.000 Workhouse?
00:34:24.000 What's the workhouse?
00:34:25.000 All right, that's enough of that.
00:34:27.000 That's awesome.
00:34:30.000 Friday we do a lot of catching up on little morsels.
00:34:33.000 I wanted to, uh, do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do, that's enough of catching up on morsels.
00:34:44.000 Okay, let's, I want to talk about idiocracy in politics.
00:34:49.000 I kind of like it, that it's badass, but it's also kind of embarrassing.
00:34:54.000 You know what I mean?
00:34:55.000 I'll give you some examples.
00:34:56.000 Jump to 2-1.
00:35:00.000 This is Missouri Secretary of State Valentina Gomez, okay?