Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 21, 2024


S6E4 - IN DEFENSE OF MEDIOCRITY (FREE PART)

Topics
Purple Works Nutrition mediocrity workouts reading passports
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Childish Gambino Purple Works Nutrition Kelvin Ozzy Lily George Michael Hawking Diet Amanda Stellenberg Compound Censored Tommy Sotomayor Sleaford Mods Gino Bisconti Black Sabbath Andrew Wilson Owen Benjamin George Floyd Jimi Hendrix Sean King Bill Hicks Bon Jovi and 10 more
S6E02 - BYE! BYE! ROMAN EMPIRE S6E7 - THE TIDES HAVE TURNED (FREE PART)

Episode Stats


Length

33 minutes

Words per minute

147.72

Word count

4,988

Sentence count

646

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Toxicity

166

sentences flagged

Hate speech

32

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Amanda Stellenberg and Gavin McInnes discuss Childish Gambino's new album, and why they think it s a good idea to have a black person move in next door to you if you're not in the 5% of the population that they think is "woke." They also talk about the new Star Wars movie, Star Wars: The Rise of the Mandalorian, and what it means to be an oppressed black person in the 21st century. They also discuss why they don't think it's racist to wear flip-flops in public, and why it's a bad idea to wear them in public if you don't have them on your feet. And, of course, they talk about why you should be offended if you see a black kid wearing flipflops on the front lawn of a white person's house. Get Off My Lawn! is a show where we are free for a little bit on Fridays, not too much, but enough so that we can talk about it anyway. Get off my lawn! Get OFF MY PLEDGE! Subscribe to our new podcast Get Off my Lawn! Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Like, comment and tell a friend about what you're listening to this podcast. If you like what you think of it, share it on your social media and let us know what you thought of it! Thank you for listening and spreading the word to your friends about this podcast! and we'll be looking out for you in next week! XOXOmccartan Love, Gav & Gav Gav and Gave it a rating and review on Apple podcasts Subscribe, Share it on iTunes and review it on Podchilli Share it so we can spread the word out there about it on the pod? Thanks for listening to it and spreading it around the wide world! Love ya'll love it! xoxo, GAV & GAVY XO, Caitlyn & GABE Cheers, Kristy - The Natives & Gorms - P.A. - EJ & GRAVY - BOBBY - JUICY PODCASTING! - KELLY MCCARTAN - TAYLOR OCHTERBERRY P.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:04.000 And now you're listening, I'm gonna tell you something fascinating.
00:00:06.000 They spin around, go bastardize it and appropriate it. 0.59
00:00:10.000 That's not a clown.
00:00:15.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:48.000 What a dope jam that is. 0.79
00:00:50.000 That was Amanda Stellenberg? 0.87
00:00:53.000 No, Amanda. 0.94
00:00:55.000 I think it's a Zulu word for power.
00:00:58.000 And she, of course, identifies with her African roots because she's a rich Jewish girl who was born and raised in L.A., totally surrounded by her industry insiders.
00:01:10.000 And, you know, it's worth millions of dollars on her own. 0.99
00:01:12.000 Her dad's a rich white guy, rich white Jewish guy.
00:01:16.000 But yeah, she's oppressed. 1.00
00:01:19.000 And she's in the new Star Wars, which I was never gonna watch anyway, but I hear it is a honking pile of shit. 0.99
00:01:28.000 You didn't fix that bug, bro. 0.98
00:01:31.000 I can use the old one.
00:01:32.000 Just use the old one.
00:01:33.000 Yeah, let's go over some of her lyrics, though.
00:01:39.000 Amanda.
00:01:40.000 Amandla.
00:01:41.000 How many times has she had to correct that?
00:01:43.000 That's a curse of a name.
00:01:46.000 That's like Kelvin.
00:01:48.000 Kevin?
00:01:48.000 No, no.
00:01:49.000 Kelvin.
00:01:50.000 There's an L. That's like George Floyd's brother, Felonious. 0.78
00:01:55.000 Or his mother, Larcenia.
00:01:57.000 Or his dad, Incarceratus.
00:02:01.000 One of those is a lie.
00:02:02.000 Okay.
00:02:03.000 See if you can guess which one.
00:02:05.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
00:02:08.000 This is a show where we are free for a little bit.
00:02:14.000 On Fridays, not too much.
00:02:15.000 Here I am advertising... Wait, before we get... We're getting ahead of ourselves here.
00:02:20.000 Go back. 1.00
00:02:20.000 I want to see the lyrics to that stupid fucking song. 1.00
00:02:24.000 And I need my notes. 1.00
00:02:26.000 Okay, stop.
00:02:27.000 And the kids don't trust... Go to the beginning.
00:02:31.000 She's what, 20? 0.99
00:02:34.000 We have some philosophy coming from a rich 20-year-old, born and raised within her industry, total nepotism, total rich bitch, and now you're listening. 0.98
00:02:45.000 I'm gonna tell you something fascinating. 0.98
00:02:47.000 Okay, I'm ready.
00:02:48.000 What do you got?
00:02:53.000 They spinning woke bastardize it and appropriate it. 0.99
00:02:57.000 Correct. 0.78
00:02:58.000 That's what we did.
00:03:02.000 Last I recall, woke was something we created.
00:03:05.000 That's true.
00:03:06.000 It's sort of like the n-word.
00:03:07.000 You took it from us.
00:03:08.000 We took woke from you. 0.84
00:03:10.000 Is she talking about the blacks or the Jews?
00:03:11.000 Because I think both have a say.
00:03:13.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:03:13.000 I like how you can just have a little shade of mochaccino and you're an oppressed black activist who's sick of being shat on constantly. 0.99
00:03:24.000 No, you're white. 1.00
00:03:26.000 Here's a way to tell if you're black. 0.97
00:03:29.000 Are the neighbors upset when you move in, into a white neighborhood? 0.99
00:03:33.000 The neighbors would start, where I live in Westchester, my neighbors would start masturbating if she moved next door. 1.00
00:03:39.000 They'd have to have a pressure washer come by their house every four days and wash the jizz off because they would be so thrilled. 0.99
00:03:48.000 Now, ghetto blacks who are out barbecuing on the front lawn, people don't want them to move in, but people also don't want hillbillies to move in. 1.00
00:03:56.000 So, it's really about trash. 0.99
00:03:59.000 And that level of trash, like, please don't move in next to me, maybe 5% of the population. 0.97
00:04:07.000 And you're not in that 5%. 1.00
00:04:09.000 So why are we spending so much time talking about this 5% and why the fuck do you think you get to? 1.00
00:04:17.000 What else? 0.99
00:04:19.000 Speak truth to power.
00:04:20.000 Speak truth to power.
00:04:21.000 Meaningless, meaningless phrase. 1.00
00:04:23.000 Keep an eye out for your silly racist. 1.00
00:04:25.000 Hi! 1.00
00:04:29.000 Okay, what is she wearing on her feet? 1.00
00:04:32.000 Is she wearing flip-flops in a video? 0.94
00:04:34.000 And now they use it to describe anything they feel threatened by.
00:04:37.000 Yeah, you keep saying phobic and threatened.
00:04:41.000 No, I think the word is annoyed.
00:04:45.000 You're, I mean, I'm Islamophobic.
00:04:47.000 That's true. 1.00
00:04:47.000 I am scared of Islam, but I don't feel threatened by you dancing around in your fucking flats. 1.00
00:04:58.000 Dancing around Brooklyn. 1.00
00:05:00.000 Remember when Gambino put it in the zeitgeist?
00:05:02.000 Yeah, that was annoying. 0.85
00:05:03.000 And by the way, this is an absolute rip off of whatever childish Gambino is. 0.99
00:05:09.000 I spotted that immediately.
00:05:10.000 I was like, Oh, I can't hear you.
00:05:12.000 Oh,
00:05:15.000 I noticed that this is exactly Childish Gambino.
00:05:18.000 It's a complete rip of the vibe, or his aura.
00:05:23.000 Okay.
00:05:23.000 You didn't notice it?
00:05:24.000 No.
00:05:25.000 Oh yeah.
00:05:26.000 What is a vibe?
00:05:28.000 Like the way he, the way she motions and looks at, and like uses the eyes to be like, I'm unaffected but intense about this.
00:05:37.000 Yeah, it's subtle.
00:05:38.000 You'd have to know Childish Gambino.
00:05:40.000 You can keep that point to yourself.
00:05:41.000 I'm not getting on board with that.
00:05:43.000 Well, for those familiar with... Remember when Gamo put it out in the Zeitgeist?
00:05:48.000 Yeah, that.
00:05:49.000 All of that.
00:05:51.000 It was all about people recognizing bigotry.
00:05:54.000 You have never experienced... The only kind of bigotry you've received is people tripping over themselves to be near you and give you opportunities.
00:06:03.000 Silly racists. 0.99
00:06:07.000 Power of community? 1.00
00:06:09.000 What community?
00:06:10.000 The Hollywood Jew community? 0.93
00:06:13.000 I want to hear her doing, too.
00:06:15.000 Not fodder for your clickbait.
00:06:17.000 Actually, that's what she is right now.
00:06:18.000 She's fodder for my clickbait. 0.93
00:06:21.000 I'm using her terrible, retardo content to, you know, create culture. 1.00
00:06:30.000 Speaking of which...
00:06:34.000 Journalists, I'm looking at you.
00:06:36.000 Did you forget?
00:06:36.000 Yeah, I agree.
00:06:38.000 But not the way you're talking.
00:06:41.000 Journalists journalism is at an all-time low and the biggest problem with modern journalism is they think like her and They're woke and they lie.
00:06:52.000 They say that this is Mexico experience the hottest Climate ever in the world and they say that for every country in the world.
00:07:00.000 Look it up, Alaska America every country is experiencing the hot it's 94 degrees today and
00:07:08.000 In New York City, I'm here on Friday, New York City, we're all hot.
00:07:11.000 Therefore, it's evidence of climate change. 1.00
00:07:15.000 So, the opposite is true, you stupid bitch. 1.00
00:07:19.000 This is like, remember that Bill Hicks bit, where he goes, he's talking about, he goes, when I was young, we had rock stars. 1.00
00:07:29.000 Jimi Hendrix said, I stand up next to a mountain, I chop it down with the edge of my hand.
00:07:34.000 Now we got George Michael Hawking Diet Coke.
00:07:37.000 Ooh, we drink Diet Coke, don't we girls?
00:07:39.000 Cause we don't want our honeys to get too big. 0.89
00:07:42.000 He goes, when did we start listening to babysitters? 0.98
00:07:46.000 And that was fucking the eighties. 0.98
00:07:48.000 Babysitters are still running the show. 0.99
00:07:50.000 Okay.
00:07:52.000 What, what do you think they're not providing?
00:07:55.000 Spreading divisiveness, mining the metrics and data.
00:08:00.000 Hmm. 0.99
00:08:01.000 You're spreading divisiveness by pretending that you're experiencing racism and there's lots of silly racists out there. 0.97
00:08:11.000 Have the audio on when you give up all your ethics for money and views. 0.92
00:08:24.000 You can tell the people are tired.
00:08:26.000 Yeah, we're tired of you.
00:08:29.000 This is why I talk about the national divorce all the time.
00:08:34.000 I agree with everything you're saying, but it's anti-you. 1.00
00:08:37.000 You're a silly racist. 1.00
00:08:39.000 You think that you represent blackness. 1.00
00:08:42.000 That's dumb and racist. 1.00
00:08:54.000 Yeah, you know what's funny about that, my dear? 1.00
00:09:00.000 You guys don't breed.
00:09:03.000 So, the youth, all these anti-family people, my grandkids are not going to know what I'm talking about.
00:09:11.000 Who are those people that you keep talking about, granddad, who hated the idea of having kids?
00:09:16.000 Oh, don't worry about it.
00:09:17.000 They're gone forever.
00:09:19.000 What's that, a Cuban, a Puerto Rican flag?
00:09:21.000 Puerto Rican, Jamaican, you know, like me.
00:09:24.000 Bed-Stuy.
00:09:25.000 No, Beverly Hills. 1.00
00:09:30.000 400 years of taking this bullshit. 1.00
00:09:35.000 400 years. 1.00
00:09:35.000 That's such a random number. 1.00
00:09:38.000 America had slaves for 88 years. 0.57
00:09:41.000 Okay.
00:09:42.000 You had other slaves?
00:09:43.000 Oh, no, British. 1.00
00:09:44.000 The British people kept as slaves. 0.57
00:09:46.000 Oh, okay.
00:09:46.000 So we're opening it up to the world now.
00:09:49.000 And world history, all oppression, the Irish, everything. 1.00
00:09:52.000 You're not going to do very well. 1.00
00:09:54.000 And your oppressors are black and Jewish and Arab. 1.00
00:09:57.000 Can you give me my notes, Faggot? 1.00
00:09:58.000 Yep. 1.00
00:10:01.000 Today's episode is not brought to you by any... Oh, wait a minute. 0.59
00:10:04.000 Before we even get to that, I feel bad giving you shitty music.
00:10:07.000 This is a great place to get good tunes. 0.86
00:10:09.000 Big Special from Birmingham was what I would have played if I wasn't making fun of anyone.
00:10:15.000 We'll get to this poster behind me in a second.
00:10:17.000 I'm doing a comedy show on July 2nd in Toronto!
00:10:21.000 But, uh... Again, I was looking them up.
00:10:24.000 They're on the cover of Rolling Stone.
00:10:26.000 It was kind of a digital cover.
00:10:27.000 It doesn't really count.
00:10:28.000 But, uh...
00:10:31.000 I always, the second I find out about a band, I have to know where they're from.
00:10:34.000 I think it goes back to punk hardcore days in the 80s for me, where that's how I classified it.
00:10:40.000 Oh, you're from, you know, Salt Lake City.
00:10:42.000 All right, so your band can't drink too much and there's lots of weird
00:10:46.000 I don't know.
00:11:05.000 Wales?
00:11:06.000 And then I see Birmingham, and I go, okay, Birmingham, I get it.
00:11:10.000 Ozzy's hometown, it's covered, it's all Muslim now. 1.00
00:11:13.000 I wonder if that affects their music.
00:11:15.000 Is that an antiquated, pre-internet way to see music?
00:11:19.000 Like, do you care where a band is from, Ryan?
00:11:21.000 You're young.
00:11:22.000 Vaguely.
00:11:24.000 Maybe?
00:11:24.000 Vaguely.
00:11:25.000 Like, um... Oh, vaguely.
00:11:27.000 Yeah, it won't affect, like, how much I like them, but when I find out that they're somewhere close, I'm like, oh, that's cool.
00:11:32.000 But that's it.
00:11:34.000 Yeah, if it's a Canadian, I start thinking about Canadian content laws, shit like that. 0.93
00:11:40.000 So this is what, this is kind of a slam poetry punk, like Sleaford Mods do, and it's hard to pull off, but they do a great job of it. 0.81
00:11:51.000 Go to 1-2. 0.98
00:11:55.000 Shit house. 1.00
00:11:55.000 I don't hear anything. 1.00
00:12:01.000 We have the AC blasting due to climate change, so everything has to be loud today.
00:12:07.000 Turn it up.
00:12:08.000 Can't hear anything.
00:12:10.000 That sounds way better.
00:12:12.000 Did you have it on the wrong speaker?
00:12:30.000 No, no, I can turn it up from here. 0.99
00:12:40.000 That's Shit House, great jam. 0.99
00:12:43.000 And what's 1-3? 0.97
00:12:46.000 It's a combination of two numbers.
00:12:49.000 That's funny.
00:12:56.000 So there are melodies
00:13:02.000 Zoom out so people can see this thing. 1.00
00:13:10.000 Compare this to some pedantic fake black chick calling you a silly racist and dancing around bed style like she's from there. 1.00
00:13:20.000 What a juxtaposition. 1.00
00:13:30.000 All right, great band.
00:13:31.000 Big special.
00:13:32.000 Check them out.
00:13:34.000 This episode is brought to you by Purple Works Nutrition.
00:13:37.000 I don't have an example of Purple Works because I brought the thing home.
00:13:43.000 I finished a whole container of it.
00:13:47.000 I'm on it now.
00:13:50.000 And I went to the gym today and I did very well.
00:13:53.000 I was training with my trainer.
00:13:55.000 I wasn't boxing today.
00:13:57.000 And he said to me, could you, would you please consider just taking a month off of hamburgers and, and beer and booze and bread?
00:14:09.000 And I said, no, sir.
00:14:11.000 No.
00:14:11.000 And he goes, because you have the work ethic.
00:14:13.000 You come in here and you work hard, but when you leave, you ruin it all.
00:14:18.000 Like on this exercise bike that you push and I can get up to like 20 calories in a minute.
00:14:25.000 And then I have for lunch, I had three beers, a cheeseburger and well, this was on Wednesday.
00:14:33.000 I had a cheeseburger, three beers, three shots because Gino Bisconti showed up.
00:14:37.000 This is before we did Compound Censored. 0.99
00:14:40.000 And the fucking fries at Sullivan's are so good. 0.99
00:14:45.000 Hand cut fries. 1.00
00:14:46.000 Had that.
00:14:47.000 And he goes, that's like way over a thousand calories. 1.00
00:14:51.000 And you know, you bust your ass for five minutes on that bike. 0.99
00:14:54.000 That's 100. 1.00
00:14:58.000 Sorry, no.
00:15:00.000 What do I want to be?
00:15:01.000 Sexy?
00:15:01.000 I'm only really, I only work out for mental health.
00:15:04.000 To be honest. 0.99
00:15:05.000 And to know, to be a better fighter in case shit goes down. 0.97
00:15:09.000 But I'm not there to, to get a good record in boxing. 0.99
00:15:14.000 Or to get a hot bod.
00:15:16.000 So yes, this episode is brought to you by Purpleworks Nutrition.
00:15:18.000 Take it, I'm on it right now.
00:15:20.000 Use promo code Gavin, get 15% off.
00:15:23.000 I'm kind of jumping ahead here, but talking about Purpleworks, I want to promote something here.
00:15:31.000 Enough with the backgrounds and everything, go back to the other one.
00:15:34.000 I want to talk about mediocrity.
00:15:39.000 I know it's daunting.
00:15:40.000 You don't want to go to the gym.
00:15:41.000 You don't feel like it.
00:15:42.000 And if you're a really, you know, impressive athlete, you would go to the boxing gym, you'd do three rounds of rope, three rounds of shadow, three rounds of speed bag.
00:15:53.000 That's nine rounds, three minutes each, before you even get started.
00:15:58.000 Then you would maybe hit the bags for a while.
00:16:00.000 Someone goes, you want to move around?
00:16:01.000 Yeah, okay.
00:16:03.000 Let me warm up, even though you've already done nine rounds.
00:16:07.000 Then maybe you hit the bags for a couple rounds, three rounds.
00:16:12.000 Larry comes over with the pads.
00:16:13.000 You do the pads, like as you're, you know, take a break from the bag and you hit the pads.
00:16:18.000 You maybe do 300 punches.
00:16:19.000 Then you step into the ring and you do maybe three rounds of sparring.
00:16:23.000 This, everything I'm describing takes like an hour and a half.
00:16:26.000 And then sparring,
00:16:28.000 It's murder.
00:16:29.000 Here's a different workout.
00:16:31.000 Eight rounds. 0.99
00:16:33.000 And some of them are double-ended bag, some of them are slip rope, super easy shit. 0.99
00:16:38.000 Two of them are speed bag. 0.97
00:16:39.000 Then you don't feel like push-ups?
00:16:41.000 Don't do push-ups.
00:16:42.000 Just go home.
00:16:44.000 Eight rounds takes like 25 minutes.
00:16:46.000 That's a very mediocre workout.
00:16:48.000 So, when the gym is daunting, it's cause you're imagining doing a great job.
00:16:54.000 Do a mediocre job.
00:16:55.000 They say that to stay in shape, you really just need 15 minutes three times a week. 0.89
00:16:59.000 So even that shitty workout I'm describing, where people go, you're leaving?
00:17:03.000 Everyone makes fun of you, me, when I do this. 1.00
00:17:04.000 Like, you just fucking got here, you faggot. 1.00
00:17:08.000 I am, bye! 1.00
00:17:10.000 Enjoy sweating your balls off in this no AC gym.
00:17:15.000 Now all of a sudden your tasks in life are not so daunting.
00:17:21.000 And my favorite example of this discovery, I might even call this show in defense of mediocrity, is reading.
00:17:31.000 The problem with the way we're taught in school to read is you have to
00:17:36.000 Be engaged with every page.
00:17:39.000 I'm going to quiz you to make sure you didn't lie.
00:17:41.000 And you have to read it from beginning to end.
00:17:43.000 Now that is probably the best way to read a book and to thoroughly understand it.
00:17:49.000 You don't have to be the best.
00:17:51.000 You can be mediocre.
00:17:52.000 A book is like TV.
00:17:55.000 Pick up a book, read it in the middle.
00:17:58.000 Especially if you are like me and you don't read fiction.
00:18:01.000 I have like six books on the go right now.
00:18:04.000 Some of them I'll read for a better part of a year.
00:18:08.000 I've been reading Empire of the Summer Moon for years.
00:18:11.000 I'll take months off at a time.
00:18:13.000 Or sometimes I have on my bookshelf I'll just pluck out a book and just start reading it.
00:18:17.000 You don't have to be, you're not in school anymore. 1.00
00:18:20.000 You can be a lazy shithead. 1.00
00:18:22.000 And when you're reading a book, and you go, holy shit, I zoned out for that entire page, that's okay. 1.00
00:18:28.000 You will not be quizzed on the book. 0.98
00:18:32.000 Just read.
00:18:33.000 I remember when we were vegetarians, they said, oh, you still have leather on your shoes and all that stuff. 0.92
00:18:39.000 And it's a bad example, because being a vegetarian was retarded, and that's why I'm such a shrimp. 1.00
00:18:44.000 I was a vegetarian for 14 years, all my formative years.
00:18:47.000 My brother's a giant, so is my dad.
00:18:49.000 I'm petite at five, ten and a half.
00:18:53.000 But we said, I know I use leather on my shoes.
00:18:56.000 I'm just trying to do good.
00:18:58.000 I'm just trying to do a little bit better than nothing.
00:19:01.000 I'm not trying to change the world.
00:19:03.000 And that was what a lot of us would say about politics or activism or anything.
00:19:09.000 Just do a little bit.
00:19:11.000 Here's another example.
00:19:13.000 My kids have three passports.
00:19:15.000 Three kids, three passports.
00:19:16.000 Three, six, nine.
00:19:19.000 British, Canadian, and American.
00:19:21.000 Renewing them is one of the things I consider to be the most boring task in the world.
00:19:26.000 Digging up birth certificates, filling out the paperwork, going to FedEx, you have to give them your original. 0.97
00:19:33.000 I fucking hate it. 0.96
00:19:34.000 It's my least favorite thing. 0.99
00:19:35.000 But I can't trust my wife to handle it, so I do it.
00:19:40.000 I don't accomplish that in one day.
00:19:42.000 What I do is I go, uh-oh, their passports are coming up.
00:19:45.000 So I allot maybe 25 to 30 minutes a day to that task.
00:19:51.000 Oh, I almost got the birth certificate.
00:19:53.000 Oops.
00:19:54.000 It's 9 31.
00:19:56.000 Sorry. 1.00
00:19:57.000 I might even just hang up the phone with with customs or the fucking passport people. 0.99
00:20:01.000 Sorry. 1.00
00:20:01.000 Oh, hello. 1.00
00:20:02.000 Hello.
00:20:03.000 Done.
00:20:04.000 And you'd ship away at it and it gets done.
00:20:09.000 Be mediocre.
00:20:11.000 School taught us that it's either zero and you fail, or you do the job as I asked you to, and you get a, not just a passing grade, but a good grade.
00:20:22.000 No.
00:20:23.000 Fail.
00:20:25.000 Be okay. 1.00
00:20:26.000 Go to the gym for ten fucking minutes. 1.00
00:20:30.000 That's a total waste of time. 1.00
00:20:31.000 You're not gonna get any gains. 1.00
00:20:33.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:20:35.000 That's not how you read a book. 1.00
00:20:36.000 You have to read the whole thing and make sure you're 100% attentive on every page.
00:20:42.000 No, no.
00:20:43.000 A non-fiction book, what's the difference between that and a coffee table book of pictures?
00:20:49.000 It's the same thing.
00:20:49.000 Indulge yourself.
00:20:51.000 That's how we watched TV before there was all this streaming shit. 0.99
00:20:54.000 You just trail over the channels and if you saw something interesting, or maybe a movie you've already seen, read a few pages from a book you've already read. 0.98
00:21:03.000 You're still better off than if you hadn't read.
00:21:05.000 You're still better off than if you didn't go to the gym.
00:21:07.000 You're still better off than if you hadn't started to renew your kid's passports.
00:21:13.000 Speaking of kids and family, my wife and my daughter have been using my car.
00:21:18.000 I got it today because I have to go somewhere after this.
00:21:20.000 I usually take the motorcycle.
00:21:22.000 So I haven't been in my car, my BMW, in a couple weeks. 1.00
00:21:27.000 Look at the fucking shit that's in the car. 0.99
00:21:30.000 Oh, I even forgot something. 1.00
00:21:32.000 This big Indian bracelet that was in one of the, one of the, um, passenger doors. 0.99
00:21:39.000 So when you, when you brake, all this shit rolls forward. 0.98
00:21:43.000 This thing is rolling back and forth. 1.00
00:21:46.000 And what's with the fucking beverages? 0.99
00:21:48.000 My daughter is like, can we stop at Bobo Tea? 1.00
00:21:51.000 My fridge has an automatic ice machine.
00:21:53.000 It's out.
00:21:54.000 Because she's always got some elaborate beverage. 1.00
00:21:57.000 Dragon King, mango, fucking boo-boo bobo with fucking fruit in it and shit. 1.00
00:22:03.000 A straw that's this big so you can suck up all the different fruits. 1.00
00:22:08.000 What is that?
00:22:09.000 It's on my texts.
00:22:11.000 What?
00:22:12.000 The pictures. 1.00
00:22:12.000 You said look at all the shit. 1.00
00:22:15.000 What are you talking about? 1.00
00:22:16.000 I said look at all the shit that's in the- I can't hear you, Ryan. 1.00
00:22:18.000 Oh, you said look at all the shit that's in my car. 1.00
00:22:20.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:22:21.000 Oh, it's not the stuff on your desk.
00:22:24.000 Yes, I took it from the car and put it on my desk.
00:22:26.000 What are you talking about?
00:22:28.000 I was under the impression I mistakenly saw the towel and all that stuff and I thought you're gonna do a summer how to go to the beach presentation or something.
00:22:36.000 Well, I explained what this is.
00:22:37.000 Right.
00:22:38.000 Why are you now stopping the show- Because I was panicking looking for it.
00:22:41.000 To say, I thought that was gonna be different.
00:22:44.000 Because I began, I broke my silence asking where is this picture of all the stuff, thinking that I'm missing an asset.
00:22:50.000 Oh, wow.
00:22:53.000 Here, go to my car and get the bracelet out of the glove box.
00:23:04.000 And why do women have to be hydrated at all times? 1.00
00:23:08.000 There's thousands of these in every vehicle we own, and we have way too many vehicles.
00:23:12.000 I gotta cull the herd. 0.98
00:23:14.000 We've got two SUVs, the Jaguar, BMW, motorcycle.
00:23:20.000 Five vehicles. 1.00
00:23:22.000 My fucking Geico bill is mental. 0.99
00:23:24.000 By the way, because I know cops, I caught the woman who hit my motorcycle and I called Allstate yesterday and I'm charging her for her insurance for the accident because she didn't leave a note because she's a migrant and they don't understand how the world works. 1.00
00:23:38.000 If she had left a note, I wouldn't charge her.
00:23:41.000 And I'm gonna ream her.
00:23:42.000 Um...
00:23:47.000 And what is this?
00:23:49.000 Advanced therapy for dry or irritated skin.
00:23:51.000 Like, I'm gonna go driving, I better bring my Aquaphor healing ointment.
00:23:57.000 When was the last time you were driving and you went, oh man, my hands, they're so cracked.
00:24:03.000 So this is in there.
00:24:04.000 Obviously sunglasses, infinite pairs.
00:24:06.000 Some random ring rolling around.
00:24:08.000 And then this appears to be some sort of Chinese candy.
00:24:12.000 Who, like, eats their Chinese candy and then just goes... Chinese people do that. 1.00
00:24:16.000 He throws it on the ground.
00:24:18.000 Oh, you want to get into the ground?
00:24:21.000 I got something to show you.
00:24:22.000 I forgot to text you this. 0.99
00:24:24.000 You're not going to believe the amount of rice on my fucking mat. 0.99
00:24:29.000 I don't get it. 1.00
00:24:31.000 I guess they're just fucking slobs. 1.00
00:24:33.000 Squaw slobs. 1.00
00:24:35.000 And then this?
00:24:36.000 Perel?
00:24:37.000 Germ killer?
00:24:37.000 Why?
00:24:40.000 More cream.
00:24:41.000 What is this?
00:24:42.000 Clear SPF 50 mineral sunscreen.
00:24:45.000 Look at that rice.
00:24:46.000 Did you just eat a chipotle and then just drop it on the ground?
00:24:51.000 A towel.
00:24:52.000 I don't know why there is a towel in the backseat.
00:24:54.000 I don't know what that does. 0.99
00:24:55.000 And then this fucking thing. 1.00
00:24:57.000 This stupid Indian bracelet. 1.00
00:24:59.000 So it's every time I stop. 1.00
00:25:00.000 Every time I stop, this, this, and this are rolling forward.
00:25:06.000 And then I have police badges I like to put on the dash to avoid tickets.
00:25:11.000 I can't get them out because this is crammed in there, in the doors.
00:25:16.000 And I'm bringing this up because I know you go through this too.
00:25:19.000 Do you go through this, Ryan?
00:25:21.000 Eh, a little bit.
00:25:22.000 You only have one car, right?
00:25:24.000 Yeah.
00:25:25.000 Well, I mean, there's tons of kid stuff in there, but that's all forgivable.
00:25:28.000 No one has a problem with that.
00:25:30.000 That's just a phase.
00:25:31.000 And you'll miss it when it's gone, when there aren't toys piled up everywhere.
00:25:35.000 So I'm cool with that. 1.00
00:25:37.000 But fuckin... Why do you gotta wreck my shit? 1.00
00:25:43.000 Yeah I caught that bitch because I know cops and if I didn't they never would have pursued it. 1.00
00:25:48.000 I managed to get license plate cameras. 0.99
00:25:50.000 People think when you know cops you can like show up with a dead prostitute and get away with it.
00:25:53.000 No.
00:25:55.000 The benefits are very slight.
00:25:58.000 I get license plates for hit and runs and I may be able to get out of a parking ticket or two.
00:26:04.000 Not forever.
00:26:05.000 That's all you get.
00:26:06.000 Cops are not connected.
00:26:08.000 When Max and John were arrested, they didn't tell me anything.
00:26:12.000 They go, I don't know who you pissed off, but I can't help you, man.
00:26:17.000 They're not in control.
00:26:19.000 So yes, backdrop.
00:26:20.000 Go big on that.
00:26:22.000 I'm going to Canada.
00:26:24.000 I'm doing, go to trinityproductions.ca.
00:26:28.000 Let me get out of the way of that. 0.88
00:26:30.000 There we go.
00:26:31.000 Go to trinityproductions.ca.
00:26:33.000 If you're in Toronto, I'll be there live with a very special guest, TBA.
00:26:39.000 But if you're not, you can still watch the comedy show virtually.
00:26:43.000 There's many options.
00:26:45.000 So you could have people over, comedy night.
00:26:48.000 I'm going to be very offensive.
00:26:51.000 And I don't know.
00:26:53.000 Canada is Berkeley.
00:26:54.000 It's very left-wing.
00:26:57.000 If I walk around there, I'm gonna get bottled.
00:27:00.000 So they spent most of my profits on security.
00:27:03.000 We'll see how it goes, but I think it's gonna be fun.
00:27:08.000 I think it's gonna be fun!
00:27:09.000 I think I like me.
00:27:13.000 Speaking of Ryan, 0.99
00:27:17.000 I shit on his musical tastes a lot. 0.99
00:27:20.000 Yes. 0.99
00:27:20.000 But the guy is technically pretty talented on guitar. 0.99
00:27:23.000 And I have to admit, when we do karaoke, you do... Not only do you sing pretty well, but you do the voices.
00:27:29.000 Like when you do Black Sabbath, it genuinely sounds like Ozzy.
00:27:33.000 But here, when you were doing Bon Jovi, I didn't get the same impression.
00:27:38.000 I feel like you didn't practice enough.
00:27:45.000 Turn it up.
00:27:57.000 Works the dinner!
00:27:58.000 It's diner!
00:28:06.000 So, without getting caught up on the lyrics, it sounds good.
00:28:11.000 What's holdong?
00:28:12.000 That's on purpose.
00:28:13.000 I knew you were going to say something about that.
00:28:15.000 Holdong? 0.70
00:28:16.000 You like to hold a dong?
00:28:17.000 Is that what you're saying?
00:28:18.000 No, no.
00:28:18.000 You like to hold dongs?
00:28:20.000 It's still the words hold on.
00:28:21.000 Holdong! 0.99
00:28:22.000 It's still the words hold on.
00:28:23.000 It's hold on.
00:28:24.000 Yeah, but hold on.
00:28:26.000 It's more engaging, I think.
00:28:29.000 Maybe this just isn't your type of music.
00:28:31.000 I've noticed you're a lot more enthusiastic about sort of like jamboree banjo music.
00:28:36.000 Yeah, I do like that sort of stuff.
00:28:37.000 Yeah, bluegrass.
00:28:38.000 Whenever I see you dance to that, I can feel your enthusiasm.
00:28:41.000 Thank you. 1.00
00:28:42.000 It's like getting fucked up the ass by a guy dancing. 1.00
00:28:44.000 I would disagree. 1.00
00:28:45.000 There you go.
00:28:47.000 You seem really happy there.
00:28:48.000 I'm ecstatic.
00:28:49.000 I mean, I was waiting for this band to come around.
00:28:52.000 They usually, they play in Europe a lot.
00:28:55.000 Did you get your hat back? 1.00
00:28:56.000 You're a psycho. 1.00
00:28:57.000 That's okay. 1.00
00:28:58.000 Turn it up.
00:29:01.000 What is that dance called that you do?
00:29:03.000 It's called the Treehouse Shuffle.
00:29:07.000 It was created by the Appalachians in... You look great.
00:29:11.000 ...the turn of the century, I believe.
00:29:12.000 You probably look great because you got a haircut, I understand?
00:29:14.000 Yeah, it's been a long time since I finally... It looks cool.
00:29:18.000 ...got this mop cut.
00:29:18.000 I like that it's big and bouffant-y.
00:29:21.000 Yeah.
00:29:23.000 I also... Listen.
00:29:29.000 What does Chee-wee-wee mean?
00:29:30.000 Okay, so it's a, um, it's a Brazilian barber.
00:29:33.000 Chee-wee-wees. 0.96
00:29:34.000 Chee-wee-wees! 1.00
00:29:34.000 That's how you have to say it. 1.00
00:29:37.000 Um, that means, thank you very much, good job, you've earned a good tip.
00:29:41.000 Oh, okay.
00:29:41.000 I thought it was racist.
00:29:42.000 Chee-wee-wees! 1.00
00:29:44.000 Because, we always talk about how white people are racist and we gotta look out for those silly racists. 1.00
00:29:49.000 That might be the name of today's show. 1.00
00:29:51.000 Sure, sure. 0.95
00:29:52.000 But, um, Asians are much more racist than us. 0.99
00:29:55.000 Chee-wee-wees! 1.00
00:29:56.000 In fact, 0.99
00:29:58.000 They... Well, let's just check in on Asians and how racist they are. 1.00
00:30:02.000 Well, it's rap. 0.84
00:30:04.000 It's rap, so I mean, what are you not supposed to say?
00:30:07.000 That's why I hate chinks. 1.00
00:30:08.000 Because they're racist. 0.98
00:30:17.000 That's not valid to say.
00:30:20.000 That actually is racist while saying that.
00:30:23.000 18A, some dude thinks that we are being snuck into his life.
00:30:31.000 That's true.
00:30:31.000 Subconsciously.
00:30:33.000 Master blaster.
00:30:36.000 So he thinks this is an homage to us.
00:30:39.000 Doesn't bode well for you, monkey man.
00:30:43.000 I'm not a monkey. 0.96
00:30:43.000 I'm a zombie. 0.96
00:30:45.000 Okay, a monkey zombie?
00:30:46.000 No?
00:30:47.000 I don't know.
00:30:49.000 So that's a zombie king?
00:30:50.000 You know this video game?
00:30:52.000 No, I don't know what that is.
00:30:53.000 This dude goes, yeah, whoever made this video game definitely watches our show.
00:30:58.000 In other words, when he sees a tiny monkey man, he goes, oh, that's clearly Ryan.
00:31:04.000 Right?
00:31:06.000 Yes.
00:31:06.000 And then check out his other bizarre example.
00:31:11.000 This, that's gotta be an homage to Gavin and Ryan.
00:31:14.000 So this is a schizophrenic guy.
00:31:15.000 It's an otter. 1.00
00:31:16.000 This guy's a mental patient, man. 0.90
00:31:18.000 See, this is why we keep the location of our studio private. 0.98
00:31:22.000 Not from Antifa.
00:31:23.000 I don't want this fan coming by.
00:31:26.000 This king of comedy coming by.
00:31:28.000 Antifa we know to stop at the door.
00:31:29.000 This guy might actually be able to get in and be like, I watched you.
00:31:33.000 Yeah, I prefer Antifa.
00:31:34.000 Although it's...
00:31:36.000 It's what?
00:31:38.000 It's four years in prison for every 17 seconds you fight them.
00:31:45.000 He says you can't convince me that these are two other people.
00:31:50.000 I can, actually.
00:31:51.000 It's not anyone, dude.
00:31:52.000 It's an otter.
00:31:53.000 I think it's two otters hanging out.
00:31:58.000 But that brings up an interesting thing I've been thinking about with vigilantism, just to get serious for a sec.
00:32:04.000 Actually, you know what?
00:32:05.000 Let's cut off the freeloaders. 1.00
00:32:07.000 Bye.
00:32:08.000 Because we're about to get heavy and drop some real intense truth bombs.
00:32:14.000 Like on Wednesday.
00:32:15.000 So, you don't deserve to be with us anymore.
00:32:19.000 We are ramping up.
00:32:21.000 We've got a big announcement on July 4th with this site.
00:32:24.000 I can't tell you now, but very exciting times.
00:32:27.000 Some very serious acquisitions.
00:32:31.000 I'm working on Lily, I'm happy to say.
00:32:35.000 Don't get your hopes up with that.
00:32:36.000 I had Tommy Sotomayor, I had Andrew Wilson, they both seem to have vanished. 0.96
00:32:42.000 So, very few people are like Owen Benjamin and A.I.U., where you just set the ball rolling and they just fucking, they self-sustain.
00:32:52.000 They're usually men, so we'll see what happens with Lily, but she's clearly a fan of the show. 0.82
00:32:57.000 She just keeps repeating everything I say, which I'm happy about.
00:33:00.000 The message is getting out there.
00:33:02.000 Kind of like a wrap-up show.
00:33:04.000 We are about to reach critical mass with this particular network, where it replaces your television and it's everything you need.
00:33:13.000 So subscribe.
00:33:15.000 Subscribe.
00:33:17.000 You won't regret it.
00:33:17.000 It's a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
00:33:20.000 It is a beacon of hope.
00:33:21.000 It's a lighthouse in Clown World.
00:33:23.000 And we don't just do news.
00:33:24.000 As you saw from this entire episode, I don't think we've been serious once, right?
00:33:29.000 No.
00:33:30.000 We haven't been serious once.
00:33:32.000 This entire app.
00:33:33.000 So it's not like Daily Wire where you're getting bombarded with the same viral videos you already saw on your Twitter feed.
00:33:39.000 Alright, so goodbye freeloaders, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.