Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 31, 2025


S6E75 - AN HOUR WITH GOD (FREE PART)


Episode Stats


Length

40 minutes

Words per minute

146.93521

Word count

5,897

Sentence count

672

Harmful content

Misogyny

32

sentences flagged

Hate speech

30

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Gavin McInnes is back with a brand new episode of his new podcast Get Off My Lawn. He talks about his new song "No Means No" and how he got a boner in a swamp. He also talks about the time he danced with a butt plug up his ass.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I need to make a clear call, please fucking take me, I am here!
00:00:07.000 Head up in the air, I know you can't type me anywhere, I need you listen to me!
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:20.000 It takes my glory, nightmare assault!
00:00:29.000 Scraping, scraping, licking, cutting!
00:00:34.000 When did you think that the pain was coming?
00:00:39.000 *Dance* We're dead!
00:00:43.000 *Dance* Take that, Australia.
00:00:49.000 There's some San Jose mathcore.
00:00:51.000 Not only is it a fucking crazy song that reminds me of Victim's Family and all those weird hardcore bands like Adrenaline OD and No Means No, but the video's fucking amazing.
00:01:05.000 I think he actually barfs in it.
00:01:08.000 Go play some more of that.
00:01:12.000 It's so good.
00:01:14.000 Oh, I fucked his girlfriend before. - Britson! 1.00
00:01:30.000 You guys ever fucked a skeleton?
00:01:33.000 No.
00:01:34.000 Losers.
00:01:35.000 You know what I fucked once?
00:01:39.000 What?
00:01:40.000 The world.
00:01:43.000 We were tree planting.
00:01:45.000 And someone bet me 20 bucks I couldn't stick my dick into a swamp and fuck the world.
00:01:51.000 So I said, no problem.
00:01:52.000 I'll get a boner. 0.99
00:01:53.000 I haven't been laid.
00:01:54.000 You're tree planting, right?
00:01:55.000 And you don't beat off when you tree plant.
00:01:57.000 It's like Rollins Black Flag vibes where you're straight edge.
00:02:01.000 And no coffee, nothing.
00:02:04.000 And it was easy to get a boner.
00:02:06.000 And then I went and I fucked the swamp.
00:02:09.000 Nope.
00:02:10.000 It doesn't feel good at all.
00:02:12.000 But I can say I fucked the world.
00:02:15.000 I've never thrown a wiener down a hallway.
00:02:17.000 I have had a bowl of pissed cornflakes, and I have danced with something up my ass, which is seen by my enemies as the ultimate Achilles heel.
00:02:25.000 He stuck a butt plug up his ass to own the libs. 1.00
00:02:27.000 Yeah, I did.
00:02:30.000 I was showing the world that I could dance better than Hillary with something up my ass because she dances like she's got something up her ass. 1.00
00:02:40.000 That's a gotcha?
00:02:41.000 Okay.
00:02:42.000 Today is a free episode brought to you by God.
00:02:45.000 We have God as my co-pilot on this show.
00:02:48.000 He chooses the stories while we just follow.
00:02:52.000 I redid the God wheel and it had no war on kids and no racism on it because it's kind of depressing for a Friday.
00:02:59.000 But then I thought, it's censored.tv.
00:03:02.000 I can't be censoring God.
00:03:04.000 What if he is really worried about the kids?
00:03:07.000 And there have been episodes that are just war on kids, feminism, like family, family, family. 0.97
00:03:13.000 Okay.
00:03:14.000 There must be some babies out there he wanted to make that episode. 0.86
00:03:17.000 So I'll show you what I did.
00:03:22.000 I put some chalk on it.
00:03:25.000 So like, so say we get to robots.
00:03:30.000 Which I really want to talk about.
00:03:32.000 It doesn't have an interstitial.
00:03:34.000 But say he's like, no, not robots, war on kids.
00:03:37.000 Then if it goes here, it's war on kids.
00:03:39.000 You can't really see the chalk, but it says W-O-C. And then here with hotties, see, I really Friday it up the wheel.
00:03:47.000 If he really wants to talk about blacks and racism, then it'll land there. 0.84
00:03:52.000 So he still has the right to choose.
00:03:56.000 And that's what we're all about on this show.
00:03:58.000 We are the Pro-Choice Network, the right to choose.
00:04:02.000 Ninety percent of the topics on the show are abortion.
00:04:06.000 We have Liz Plank on every second episode, and she tells us about women's—we don't call it abortion.
00:04:13.000 We call it women's reproductive rights. 1.00
00:04:16.000 And for us, the most important thing is the ability to kill babies.
00:04:21.000 We want as many babies killed as possible because we're racists.
00:04:26.000 And abortion is mostly just calling the black population, as Margaret Sanger proposed when she created Planned Parenthood.
00:04:33.000 And we're following in her footsteps, making the black population smaller, one abortion at a time. 0.99
00:04:39.000 That's actually the motto of the show, Get Off My Lawn.
00:04:42.000 That says it on the t-shirts, and then it has an aborted black baby on the bottom of the shirt with blood everywhere.
00:04:49.000 It's kind of death metal, and it's our brand.
00:04:54.000 Speaking of our brand, Purple Works Nutrition, I'm on it right now.
00:04:59.000 I had a great workout today.
00:05:01.000 I actually did a quarter of an Adderall and some Purple Works Nutrition.
00:05:06.000 I probably shouldn't say that.
00:05:07.000 Don't do that.
00:05:08.000 But I've had a bad cold and a cough and I thought, I'm just going to fast forward it.
00:05:13.000 Rather than be a lug and sit in bed all day, I'm going to do a little, a fifth of a pant pissing pill.
00:05:21.000 You always piss the bed when you do Adderall because you drink half a bottle of bourbon.
00:05:25.000 This is probably not great for Purple Works nutrition, what I'm saying here.
00:05:28.000 So ignore that part.
00:05:31.000 And then did the Purple Works, went to the gym, was lifting things fucking way out of my league.
00:05:40.000 You know, what do you call these?
00:05:44.000 What?
00:05:45.000 No, these are flies.
00:05:47.000 So presses?
00:05:48.000 Presses?
00:05:49.000 Dumbbell presses.
00:05:50.000 Well, yeah, it's dumbbell press, 35 pounds each.
00:05:53.000 40 pounds each, sorry.
00:05:54.000 And then 15, break, 15, break, 15. I couldn't do that normally.
00:06:00.000 That's way out of my league.
00:06:02.000 But I can with PurpleWorks.
00:06:04.000 So go to PurpleWorksNutrition.com.
00:06:07.000 Use the promo code GAVIN, 15% off.
00:06:09.000 And they are really pushing your New Year's resolutions.
00:06:13.000 So I know you made some crazy commitments to yourself this year.
00:06:18.000 This is around when people give up.
00:06:20.000 Purple works will prevent you from giving up.
00:06:23.000 You will hang on to your New Year's resolutions.
00:06:27.000 My goal is to get below 200. I was 208. I'm down to 204. I need to get below 200. We tweeted out that confrontation I had with an African-American person of color, and all the comments are about my beer belly. 0.82
00:06:43.000 Their body's shaming me.
00:06:45.000 It's not that bad, is it?
00:06:49.000 The problem is when you have, you drink like five pints at a bar, and it's comfortably like this, and sort of your posture pushes it out.
00:06:56.000 But it's not that bad.
00:07:00.000 Anyway, Purple Works Nutrition, great way to pursue your goals at the gym, stay in shape, stay sane.
00:07:07.000 I like going to the gym because it prevents me from being an alcoholic.
00:07:10.000 Because I go, I don't want to get too wasted, I'll puke tomorrow at the gym.
00:07:14.000 Because I am definitely going.
00:07:16.000 Yeah.
00:07:18.000 I'd like to make something clear here, too.
00:07:20.000 The guy behind me is sort of...
00:07:22.000 He's sort of framing out my body.
00:07:32.000 You know what I mean?
00:07:33.000 Like I'm leaning back with my posture.
00:07:36.000 I sound like a fat chick defending her fatness.
00:07:42.000 Great way to absorb...
00:07:44.000 Big loogies that you hack out onto the floor.
00:07:47.000 Put a New York Post on it.
00:07:50.000 It's like putting a bird on it.
00:07:51.000 So yeah, purpleworksnutrition.com.
00:07:54.000 Promo code Gavin.
00:07:55.000 15% off.
00:07:56.000 And don't forget to show the delicious shit I do.
00:08:01.000 I can never remember the name.
00:08:02.000 Indigo?
00:08:03.000 Incandescent?
00:08:04.000 Invictus.
00:08:06.000 That's what I'm on right now.
00:08:08.000 Invictus.
00:08:10.000 I was going to do...
00:08:12.000 The Phil Collins song, Take a Look at Me Now, as the intro song, it's pretty boring.
00:08:18.000 We've all heard it a million times.
00:08:20.000 But I saw a lesbian ape who has convinced herself that she's actually a human being, acted out, and it's the most awkward thing I've ever seen in my life. 1.00
00:08:34.000 I could watch it a hundred times.
00:08:36.000 What is it with lesbians where they're so unselfaware? 1.00
00:08:42.000 You know what I mean?
00:08:43.000 Like, gays, homosexual men, no, no, no, this is one too.
00:08:48.000 Homosexual men, they know that they're ridiculous, so they lean into it and go like, I'm a big fag, you guys, and I'm not trying to be cool, I'm just silly, here's a mustache and long hair and whatever. 1.00
00:09:00.000 Some of the more trans ones have gotten, you know, defensive, but generally my history with the gays is them acknowledging their silliness. 1.00
00:09:09.000 Lesbians, on the other hand, We're fucking serious as shit. 1.00
00:09:14.000 And if you're going to be that guy, you better be the big mustache guy from Roadhouse who does the car commercials.
00:09:22.000 Or like Chuck Zito or something.
00:09:25.000 If you're going to be the serious dude, you better be very attractive and very tough.
00:09:32.000 And have a great background.
00:09:35.000 Look at this thing.
00:09:37.000 Look at this weird...
00:09:40.000 M&M pumpkin.
00:09:43.000 And the zooming in and out.
00:09:46.000 Where's your hand?
00:09:48.000 What's your hand doing?
00:09:51.000 She looks like crunchy cereal. 0.96
00:09:57.000 She's with her monkey face. 1.00
00:10:00.000 Me?
00:10:06.000 Look at her outfit. 0.66
00:10:10.000 I love the cat in the background.
00:10:18.000 Is that a dog?
00:10:20.000 This is a dog.
00:10:21.000 Look, her Brock just can't handle it. 0.88
00:10:25.000 Am I impressed that she knows the lyrics?
00:10:33.000 I don't know.
00:10:34.000 Is that a guy I went to high school with?
00:10:35.000 He's like a good guy.
00:10:38.000 I hope it's not him.
00:10:39.000 That looks like the guy that fixed your fridge.
00:10:42.000 He does a good job, though.
00:10:44.000 Oh, my God.
00:10:48.000 You know my biggest pet peeve outside of robots taking over the world, which will never happen, is people interrupting races. 0.96
00:10:56.000 I don't mean people like me who race mix and make half-breeds. 0.97
00:10:59.000 I mean people who interrupt sporting events.
00:11:02.000 I don't really care about races.
00:11:03.000 I've never been into cycling or marathons, but I respect the people who work hard to make it happen, and when I see someone wreck it, it infuriates me.
00:11:15.000 How about...
00:11:16.000 Little boys in the suburbs.
00:11:19.000 They go to practice during the week.
00:11:21.000 They watch basketball.
00:11:23.000 My son is one of these kids.
00:11:24.000 He's a 12-year-old.
00:11:25.000 They have their little shoes that they get for Christmas and they put them in the closet and they wash the bottoms.
00:11:30.000 Those are their basketball shoes.
00:11:32.000 They don't wear them out.
00:11:33.000 They love them.
00:11:33.000 They're named after some fucking black guy.
00:11:37.000 And then they have a game.
00:11:39.000 And it's really important to them that they work together.
00:11:41.000 Games are really important to these guys.
00:11:43.000 They look forward to it all week.
00:11:44.000 It's like, oh, it's at 4 o'clock.
00:11:46.000 Okay, start thinking about getting ready, buddy.
00:11:48.000 It's 3 o'clock.
00:11:49.000 We've got to go soon.
00:11:50.000 And they finally go there.
00:11:51.000 They have their big game.
00:11:53.000 They're hoping to get some baskets.
00:11:54.000 Their family is there cheering them on.
00:11:57.000 It's a really big deal.
00:11:58.000 And the games last about an hour.
00:12:01.000 You cannot do your fucking dumb custodonial work.
00:12:06.000 Custodonian?
00:12:07.000 Custodial.
00:12:08.000 Work while this is going on, please.
00:12:10.000 Can you not?
00:12:12.000 Custodial, yeah.
00:12:14.000 Look at this shit.
00:12:18.000 Go, go.
00:12:19.000 You got it.
00:12:20.000 Make sure you're open.
00:12:22.000 Oh, he got a pass, too.
00:12:24.000 So he stays on the outside.
00:12:26.000 No one's blocking him.
00:12:27.000 He's got a clear shot.
00:12:28.000 He's ready to go.
00:12:29.000 This is going to be the event of the whole game.
00:12:31.000 This is it.
00:12:33.000 And Fuckface is in the middle of the fucking court. 1.00
00:12:38.000 Oh, there we go.
00:12:40.000 He's not even pushing the bench well.
00:12:43.000 He's got one hand.
00:12:44.000 Oh, sorry about that.
00:12:44.000 Sorry.
00:12:45.000 Sorry, guys.
00:12:47.000 I fucking hate him so much.
00:12:49.000 I want to stab him in his giant forehead.
00:12:53.000 Not the kind of thing God wants to hear.
00:12:55.000 You know what we should do, Sean?
00:12:57.000 Yeah.
00:12:58.000 I want to start making compilations and releasing them.
00:13:01.000 So I don't know.
00:13:02.000 We can use show notes, but I want to put together a compilation of all the people interrupting races.
00:13:08.000 And start doing other compilations.
00:13:10.000 Like, I want to do another compilation of liberals talking about how uneducated we are for voting for Trump and how they're smart and liberals are smart.
00:13:18.000 I have like 20 of those.
00:13:21.000 And shit like that.
00:13:23.000 Okay, so shall we start the show?
00:13:27.000 It's what?
00:13:28.000 25 minutes in.
00:13:29.000 Sorry, shit.
00:13:30.000 Actually, no.
00:13:31.000 Before we start the show, let's say hello to our other sponsor, Nita Fashions.
00:13:36.000 I'm wearing Nita Fashions right now.
00:13:38.000 This is the suit.
00:13:39.000 I don't know if you can see this.
00:13:40.000 I insisted on white buttons.
00:13:41.000 They said no.
00:13:42.000 But the accents are pink.
00:13:44.000 So then I wear my pink Nita Fashions dress shirt with it, with my little...
00:13:49.000 You know what I did?
00:13:50.000 I got kind of fatter.
00:13:51.000 So I used to be GMM on my shirts, and...
00:13:56.000 Now I'm GM, and that's the plumper gav.
00:13:59.000 So if I see a GMM in my closet, I'm like, I probably can't fit into that anymore.
00:14:03.000 Maybe if I lose weight, I'll keep them around.
00:14:06.000 But you can use your initials as some sort of code for, you know, guys my age, we expand and contract over the years.
00:14:12.000 More expand than contract.
00:14:15.000 Nita Fashions is really pushing their Australian tour.
00:14:18.000 Now this is a bespoke tailor based in Hong Kong, and it's for poor rich guys.
00:14:23.000 You go there, they outfit you.
00:14:26.000 They measure you and everything.
00:14:27.000 So where are we now?
00:14:31.000 January 31st.
00:14:34.000 Oh, good.
00:14:35.000 You've got plenty of time.
00:14:36.000 They're still in Geneva, Switzerland.
00:14:38.000 But by the end of this month, they're going to be in Melbourne for three days at the Intercontinental Melbourne, the Rialto.
00:14:46.000 Then they're going to be in Sydney for two days at the Kempton Margot in Sydney.
00:14:53.000 And then they are going to be in Brisbane, in the Sofitel Brisbane Central, 26th of February to 27th.
00:15:00.000 So you Aussies, get in there, get outfitted. 1.00
00:15:03.000 And then they have your blueprint.
00:15:04.000 You go, get me a shirt, make me a suit.
00:15:07.000 Once they have your blueprint, you can say, like, send me some swatches.
00:15:11.000 I have some ideas for shirts.
00:15:13.000 Or you can not think and just say, send me some fucking nice shirts like this one.
00:15:18.000 And they're all numbered and stuff, so they have the code labeled on it.
00:15:23.000 They also, by the way, are still offering 15% off to people in LA who lost everything and have to rebuild their wardrobe.
00:15:31.000 That was a courtesy that they did over at Nita Fashions to help people.
00:15:35.000 You can contact them via their website.
00:15:37.000 Most of you guys seem to like to contact them on their Instagram, which is probably nita.fashions, their Instagram.
00:15:46.000 You DM them there.
00:15:48.000 You can do virtual fittings, by the way, online.
00:15:51.000 I don't know if I mentioned that.
00:15:54.000 And that's a lot of fun.
00:15:58.000 Yeah, so you can DM them there.
00:16:00.000 And you can see, scroll down a bit so we can see the kind of shit they make.
00:16:04.000 Yeah, they got their schedules.
00:16:07.000 Those are the guys.
00:16:08.000 They also do suits for horses.
00:16:10.000 Those are very expensive, though.
00:16:12.000 And they never fit right.
00:16:15.000 You need a fashion that they made everything that you're seeing.
00:16:17.000 They do fencing, they do castles.
00:16:19.000 And lawn work.
00:16:20.000 Lawn care.
00:16:21.000 And they make women. 0.99
00:16:23.000 They will find you a bride. 0.83
00:16:25.000 A robot bride. 0.98
00:16:28.000 Okay, let's start the show with the God Wheel.
00:16:31.000 I hope God's not mad that we took so long to get to it, but we got an hour.
00:16:35.000 An hour with God.
00:16:39.000 The God Wheel.
00:16:45.000 All right, let's see what he wants to talk about today.
00:16:50.000 Fingers crossed that he's happy and in a good mood.
00:16:53.000 I know he likes Trump.
00:16:55.000 It's obvious.
00:16:57.000 So fingers crossed he doesn't want to get all heavy.
00:17:00.000 But we have war on kids.
00:17:03.000 We have...
00:17:04.000 You know what I was noticing too?
00:17:07.000 I was looking at this thing and LGBTQ and feminism, they look the same now. 0.99
00:17:15.000 I may have to merge them.
00:17:18.000 It's also kind of weird how War on Kids and LGBTQ is merged.
00:17:22.000 I mean, we do have pedophiles outside of the Drag Queen Story Hour, but it's a hell of a Venn diagram.
00:17:30.000 Anyway, let's go.
00:17:33.000 Let's ask God what he wants to talk about.
00:17:35.000 Are you ready?
00:17:36.000 And...
00:17:37.000 I think you played the guitars a little early there, Sean.
00:17:46.000 Now that would be a little late.
00:17:50.000 Okay, final video.
00:17:52.000 Let's not do a new rule.
00:17:56.000 Let's not do the interstitial and just do one per story.
00:18:00.000 We're going to try that out today.
00:18:02.000 And that's fun because if God keeps coming back to something, it's like, dude, I really want to talk about this.
00:18:10.000 Is anyone else out there giving God a voice?
00:18:12.000 Not really.
00:18:15.000 Is that Creed?
00:18:17.000 Holy fuck, he's nuts.
00:18:18.000 Okay, so this is the first thing God wanted to talk about, and it is exactly like the opening.
00:18:25.000 I think this is God's way of saying, I like what you're doing, this is a good show.
00:18:29.000 Good ep so far, is what God is shouting out.
00:18:32.000 out.
00:18:32.000 This is exactly what we just showed.
00:18:34.000 This is a knife guy.
00:18:43.000 Uh-oh.
00:18:45.000 Is that what's on his head or on the fridge?
00:18:50.000 Is this effective?
00:18:56.000 Is this dangerous?
00:19:01.000 The only time I want robots is to test how good he is at stabbing people.
00:19:10.000 I like how the audio is so bad.
00:19:12.000 It sounds like we're hearing it through his headphones.
00:19:16.000 Fun fact, this guy is the icon for Final Video.
00:19:22.000 Let's get rid of that for a sec.
00:19:25.000 That's him there with some sort of wood thing he made where he blocks punches and practices and he stabs it.
00:19:34.000 That'd be really funny if that guy got mugged and stabbed to death.
00:19:41.000 Okay, so God's in a good mood so far.
00:19:43.000 This is all a good sign.
00:19:44.000 Let's see what else he wants to cover.
00:19:51.000 You missed it.
00:19:54.000 No, you just spun it early.
00:19:56.000 Oh, okay.
00:19:57.000 So I'm not wrong.
00:19:59.000 No, you're not wrong.
00:20:00.000 I'm wrong.
00:20:01.000 I'm teaching him to replace me in all manners of ways.
00:20:03.000 So, Sean, please say into the mic, no, you just spun it early.
00:20:06.000 No, you just spun it early.
00:20:08.000 Okay.
00:20:10.000 Someone sent in this hottie. 1.00
00:20:13.000 We don't have an interstitial for hotties anyway. 1.00
00:20:15.000 Please help us make that or the background.
00:20:17.000 We've got to get on that.
00:20:19.000 Hotties.
00:20:20.000 Hotties and robots.
00:20:23.000 Right?
00:20:23.000 Is that the only ones we need?
00:20:25.000 I think so.
00:20:29.000 Alright, so this chick... 1.00
00:20:31.000 This chick does look great. 1.00
00:20:33.000 I'm not blind.
00:20:36.000 But I'm not bananas about the shoes.
00:20:40.000 I know you guys think I'm a fag for caring about shoes, but we may have to pause it.
00:20:48.000 Perfect level of chunky thighs. 1.00
00:20:51.000 Zoom in on her quite a bit.
00:20:53.000 Let's blow that shit up, Jamie.
00:20:58.000 I love the fur thing.
00:20:59.000 What is that?
00:21:00.000 Is that just like a shawl that she wears that's a tail? 1.00
00:21:05.000 The beret is delicious.
00:21:07.000 So she's... 0.98
00:21:09.000 Definitely, right down to the shoes, this is a 10. Obviously, we can have some trouble with the face.
00:21:14.000 I fear nose piercings.
00:21:18.000 But the shoes look kind of open-toes-y.
00:21:22.000 And the buckle on the left is...
00:21:26.000 That doesn't zoom in anymore?
00:21:29.000 Keep zooming.
00:21:31.000 The buckle on the left is down a bit.
00:21:33.000 You know what I've noticed about Asians?
00:21:36.000 They don't know how to wear shoes.
00:21:38.000 I think it's because they keep taking off their shoes when they go in a house.
00:21:41.000 So they're not enthusiastic about putting them on correctly.
00:21:44.000 And you'll notice whenever you see Asian girls, they'll be like some loose buckle hanging off. 1.00
00:21:50.000 So her thighs are a little plump to be a rice ball. 0.99
00:21:53.000 But, wow, that is some delicious stuff.
00:21:57.000 Ten from behind.
00:22:00.000 Photographer, next time, please get the front.
00:22:03.000 All right, ready?
00:22:05.000 One second.
00:22:08.000 Yep.
00:22:09.000 Proud Boys.
00:22:20.000 Okay.
00:22:22.000 I... Sorry, I'm sick.
00:22:25.000 There's going to be a lot of guttural throat sounds.
00:22:27.000 I thought I overheard Trump saying, we're here in America with Proud Boys and a new future for this country.
00:22:36.000 And I was like, what the fuck?
00:22:38.000 I knew he regretted not...
00:22:41.000 Don't do that first one.
00:22:45.000 I knew he regretted disavowing the club in the last election, but he was saying Proud Voice.
00:22:53.000 I fucked up.
00:22:56.000 Oh, this is funny.
00:23:00.000 So there's this weird trans kid. 1.00
00:23:03.000 Poor kid.
00:23:03.000 I feel bad for these fucking freaks.
00:23:07.000 And it's a healthy young lady who has had her tits ripped off of her body by child abuse-obsessed woke pagans who are happy to sacrifice this poor kid to the gods. 0.99
00:23:21.000 And it sings about masculinity and how toxic it is.
00:23:26.000 And it...
00:23:27.000 As a career, you know, in a very small-scale way, but I should say a hobby, singing about being an awesome trans, like this is what punk is today.
00:23:38.000 It's pretty depressing.
00:23:42.000 Go ahead, Joy.
00:23:45.000 My name's Joy.
00:23:48.000 Wait, what's this?
00:23:50.000 It was under, it was the one that was highlighted.
00:23:57.000 Oh yeah, I got it wrong.
00:23:59.000 Wrong intro.
00:24:00.000 I think.
00:24:03.000 Turn it up.
00:24:06.000 But it doesn't mean I should hang around and suffer This world on fire still has good to discover Beautiful.
00:24:18.000 I wouldn't miss the traffic or the runaway trains And the proud boys and their women just make me feel out of place. 1.00
00:24:27.000 Oh.
00:24:30.000 Proud boys and their women.
00:24:31.000 Proud boys has become an adjective.
00:24:33.000 It just means good old boys.
00:24:37.000 Like rednecks or something. 1.00
00:24:41.000 You feel weird because you're a lesbian. 0.73
00:24:44.000 Yeah.
00:24:45.000 What is weird?
00:24:46.000 Weird is not the norm.
00:24:50.000 The norm is heterosexuals. 0.64
00:24:52.000 In America, the norm, I guess, is predominantly white, right? 0.59
00:24:56.000 It's probably 65% white.
00:24:57.000 Not a lot.
00:24:58.000 And in cities, it's not the norm.
00:25:02.000 So, there's something about fucking lesbians in this narcissism. 1.00
00:25:10.000 They're so obsessed with themselves and how we see them.
00:25:14.000 I've got some bad news for you, chunky lesbian. 1.00
00:25:17.000 I don't see you.
00:25:21.000 You want to play a folk song and go have a concert?
00:25:24.000 Go bananas.
00:25:30.000 Okay, fast-paced show.
00:25:32.000 Back to the God wheel.
00:25:34.000 Some of these will have tangents we can go off on, but so far God's been giving us little appetizers.
00:25:39.000 I think he secretly wishes that he could be a podcaster or whatever we are.
00:25:44.000 Vidcasters?
00:25:45.000 All right, ready?
00:25:46.000 T-Dog is back.
00:25:58.000 Okay.
00:25:59.000 Fantastic guy.
00:26:05.000 Trumpity Trump.
00:26:07.000 Wow, he's way down there.
00:26:08.000 Here we go.
00:26:10.000 Here's a fantastic sketch of Trump as Red Fox.
00:26:17.000 And it fits really well, actually.
00:26:20.000 God, I miss this era of television.
00:26:22.000 It was fucking...
00:26:24.000 Incredible quality.
00:26:25.000 And they were allowed to say the N-word.
00:26:28.000 You know how to say that word anymore.
00:26:30.000 Okay.
00:26:31.000 Take it away.
00:26:32.000 You can't take my gay and retarded, but you can take my N-word.
00:26:36.000 That's it, though.
00:26:37.000 I'm drawing the line after that.
00:26:40.000 It's the only word you can have.
00:26:42.000 Okay, Sean.
00:26:47.000 Wait, stop.
00:26:49.000 Now, Ryan, you told me this has to be done in, like, post or something.
00:26:51.000 How are the lips moving?
00:26:57.000 But what does post mean?
00:26:58.000 It's obviously not live.
00:26:59.000 Well, I do mine live.
00:27:01.000 But you were like, why do yours look not as good?
00:27:04.000 No, that's not what I'm saying at all.
00:27:06.000 How are they making the lips move with the words?
00:27:11.000 You told me that was impossible.
00:27:13.000 I didn't tell you that was impossible.
00:27:14.000 I think you were asking for, like, why does the face mask...
00:27:17.000 I think there's two separate things you said.
00:27:19.000 Why do the face masks look way better on their videos?
00:27:21.000 No, that's not what I was talking about.
00:27:23.000 Okay, and then the lips moving on...
00:27:26.000 That might have been a newer thing, but at the time...
00:27:29.000 Yeah, because I remember in the old days, they would do the face swaps, but the lips wouldn't work, and you just had to suspend your disbelief.
00:27:36.000 But now the lips move perfectly.
00:27:39.000 Yeah.
00:27:40.000 We'll talk about that some other time.
00:27:41.000 I don't talk about it now.
00:27:43.000 I said we'll talk about that some other time.
00:27:47.000 You don't tell me what I can talk about in my own house.
00:27:56.000 Don't you point your finger at my nose.
00:27:58.000 I'll point my finger at your nose, and I'll point my foot somewhere else. 0.99
00:28:04.000 You see, the same, nothing has changed, the same crude manners, the same fighting fists.
00:28:11.000 And you still got the same bad temper, the same big fat mouth.
00:28:15.000 So good.
00:28:24.000 Red Fox.
00:28:25.000 Funniest guy.
00:28:26.000 His fucking stand-up comedy is so raunchy.
00:28:30.000 Like his album, You Gots to Wash Yo Ass.
00:28:33.000 Or my favorite Red Fox ever where he goes, You want a pussy so bad your whole life you're craving a pussy when you're young. 1.00
00:28:41.000 I can't wait till I'm old enough to get a pussy. 1.00
00:28:43.000 Then you finally get one.
00:28:47.000 And then everyone is screaming, laughing, and he goes, It looks like Sammy with his eye out!
00:28:55.000 All right, ready?
00:28:57.000 And...
00:28:58.000 I'm really not spending a lot of time on each subject.
00:29:05.000 Sprinkles.
00:29:06.000 Okay, okay.
00:29:08.000 Sprinkles, of course, is there's funny people everywhere, but there is a select few who have the magic sprinkles.
00:29:17.000 And I just discovered some new guys today.
00:29:22.000 I've never heard of these chaps before. 1.00
00:29:24.000 But they are known as Chris and Jack.
00:29:31.000 And this is months old.
00:29:33.000 I'm embarrassed I haven't heard of these guys.
00:29:36.000 But when did they start?
00:29:39.000 That should tell you that, right?
00:29:43.000 They've been around for a while.
00:29:45.000 Well, actually, it looks like they've only been around for about a year.
00:29:48.000 What if we go videos?
00:29:52.000 Oldest.
00:29:53.000 Nine years ago, shit!
00:29:55.000 I fucked up.
00:29:56.000 My job is to keep abreast of these things and inform you when someone is funny.
00:30:02.000 And these guys slip through the cracks, I'm embarrassed to say.
00:30:06.000 So I'm subscribed now.
00:30:08.000 And you know one thing I love about these videos is the quality of the filming is so good, it really helps the joke.
00:30:16.000 You know, bad audio, bad video, it just kills everything.
00:30:21.000 But these guys...
00:30:23.000 Look at the lighting in this opening scene.
00:30:27.000 This sketch is brought to you by Opera Desktop Browser.
00:30:30.000 More on them at the end.
00:30:31.000 Free ad.
00:30:36.000 Those post-it notes would have fallen off by now.
00:30:39.000 Thank you, Grandpa.
00:30:41.000 You just write it on the bucket.
00:30:43.000 Genie Land.
00:30:44.000 I have awoken.
00:31:03.000 I shall grant you three wishes, but be warned, for any wish may come with a dumb loophole or catch-out.
00:31:10.000 Yeah, yeah, no, I know, I'm very prepared for that.
00:31:12.000 Thought this through.
00:31:12.000 Okay, check this out.
00:31:13.000 Wish number one.
00:31:14.000 I, Jeff Brooker of Sound Mind and Body, wish for the ability to run any potential subsequent wishes by you and have you tell me what the secret catch would be before I officially lock it in as my selected wish.
00:31:23.000 Hmm, a wish audit.
00:31:24.000 How about that?
00:31:25.000 Burns a wish, but make sure my next two haven't really come across this before.
00:31:29.000 Very well, your wish is granted.
00:31:31.000 Wait a minute.
00:31:32.000 Alright, let's do this!
00:31:34.000 Ryan, you say the devil will give you what you want?
00:31:37.000 Yeah, I could be incorrect on that theologically, but yeah, I believe that's true.
00:31:40.000 So aren't genies the devil?
00:31:43.000 Because they always punish you with your wishes.
00:31:46.000 I would think they're a demon, yeah.
00:31:47.000 Especially Indian in nature, they're probably a demon. 1.00
00:31:50.000 If it's not God, then it's a supernatural force.
00:31:52.000 So God hates Indians?
00:31:54.000 No, Indians hate God.
00:31:56.000 It's the other way around.
00:31:58.000 But they love poop.
00:32:03.000 What would you say if I wished for the ability to fly?
00:32:06.000 Ah, loophole.
00:32:07.000 I'd grant you a commercial license to pilot small, single-engine aircraft.
00:32:10.000 Oh, sneaky.
00:32:11.000 Okay, what if I wished for, like, the ability to fly of my own body in, like, a bird-like, self-propelled flight way?
00:32:17.000 Now you're a housefly, 24 hours to live.
00:32:18.000 Okay, what if I wished to fly and for you to know exactly what I mean when I wished to fly?
00:32:24.000 Catch.
00:32:24.000 Technically, two wishes.
00:32:25.000 First wish, you're a housefly again.
00:32:26.000 Second wish, I would know what you would hope to have wished for.
00:32:28.000 These are tricky.
00:32:29.000 I'm gonna scrap the flight thing.
00:32:30.000 Let me just say, I did a whole brainstorm, so let me...
00:32:32.000 Yeah, okay.
00:32:33.000 What if I wish to win the lottery?
00:32:34.000 Congratulations, your number came up.
00:32:36.000 You've been drafted into the Vietnam War.
00:32:38.000 Okay.
00:32:38.000 Should we go back in time?
00:32:39.000 Could have been a small lottery.
00:32:41.000 Could have gotten more specific.
00:32:42.000 Okay, what if I just wish for a million dollars?
00:32:43.000 What are you, a tween in a 90s movie?
00:32:44.000 A billion dollars.
00:32:46.000 Ah, but you didn't specify USD, so I'd give you a billion Jamaican dollars, which at the current exchange rate would be roughly 6.5 million USD. Still pretty good.
00:32:53.000 Still pretty good?
00:32:53.000 You want that?
00:32:54.000 Well, let me pin that.
00:32:55.000 I'm gonna pin that.
00:32:55.000 You put a pin in that.
00:32:56.000 What if I wish to be able to leap over tall buildings?
00:32:59.000 You can do it, but only once.
00:33:00.000 Because the land...
00:33:01.000 What if I wish for world peace?
00:33:02.000 It comes about because of the intergalactic war.
00:33:04.000 What if I just wish to exist without want?
00:33:06.000 Very cool.
00:33:07.000 You're that chair now.
00:33:08.000 Yeah, the captain's chair.
00:33:09.000 It's a nice chair.
00:33:10.000 I'll pin the chair.
00:33:10.000 Okay.
00:33:10.000 What if I wish to be able to see the future?
00:33:12.000 Look around.
00:33:13.000 Two billion years in the future.
00:33:14.000 A bunch of dust.
00:33:15.000 What if it's simple and I just like, I wish to be taller?
00:33:17.000 All of your new height comes in the form of one of those Looney Tunes bumps on your head?
00:33:20.000 What if I wish to commune with the dead?
00:33:22.000 No catch to that one?
00:33:22.000 That's just a lot worse than you think it is.
00:33:24.000 Doing you a solid here?
00:33:25.000 That really doesn't play out well.
00:33:26.000 What if I wish to be the greatest singer in the world?
00:33:28.000 Your current vocal talent doesn't change at all, but every- Let's jump to five minutes in.
00:33:46.000 Oh.
00:33:47.000 Oh.
00:33:48.000 See that?
00:33:50.000 He lost that.
00:33:51.000 Now we're gone.
00:33:52.000 Now it's gone forever.
00:33:54.000 Five minutes in.
00:33:57.000 Okay.
00:34:01.000 Doll hairs.
00:34:03.000 Hmm.
00:34:05.000 Wait, go back.
00:34:05.000 We want to see what that one was.
00:34:09.000 ...not have any meaningful inflationary effect, and we continue to live in a society where capitalism exists, so I get to benefit from a system of currency being exchanged for goods and services, and I did not say doll hairs.
00:34:21.000 Hmm.
00:34:23.000 What about all of that?
00:34:25.000 It's pretty clean.
00:34:26.000 No, no, no.
00:34:27.000 You said you did the doll hairs thing.
00:34:29.000 Turn it up.
00:34:30.000 Okay.
00:34:31.000 Yeah, wait, okay.
00:34:33.000 No, this is...
00:34:33.000 I think you did it, Jeff.
00:34:35.000 Yeah, I think you did it.
00:34:37.000 That's perfect.
00:34:38.000 Do it!
00:34:39.000 Okay, I wish for that!
00:34:42.000 Oh, my guy.
00:34:44.000 You see what you did, right?
00:34:47.000 Yeah.
00:34:48.000 Okay.
00:34:49.000 Which, granted, you are now the proud owner of the notebook you already owned.
00:34:54.000 I'm realizing after the fact, there wasn't, like, a time limit.
00:34:58.000 No, you really rushed.
00:35:01.000 Cute stuff.
00:35:02.000 Maybe sprinkles is a strong word, but just good quality, pleasant comedy.
00:35:06.000 And very clean.
00:35:07.000 Did you notice that?
00:35:09.000 No F-words.
00:35:10.000 Maybe it's living in New York.
00:35:11.000 I think we're used to F-words.
00:35:13.000 I've noticed the viewers are criticizing me for shitting on you all the time, Sean.
00:35:18.000 But that's just how we talk here.
00:35:20.000 I think maybe in the Midwest, the sort of German background people with Protestant roots, they're not really as mean as we are.
00:35:30.000 I had a burrito yesterday, and Chipotle's burritos are now $20.
00:35:36.000 It's a football.
00:35:38.000 You eat it, and then you're like burping and trying to digest it.
00:35:41.000 You feel like a fucking python who just ate a deer.
00:35:45.000 And so you're incapacitated.
00:35:47.000 You're not really hungry again.
00:35:48.000 Say you have one at 2. You might be hungry at 8 p.m., and then people have moved on.
00:35:53.000 There's no more dinner around, so you eat chips or something.
00:35:56.000 It sucks.
00:35:57.000 And then you wake up, you go to the gym with your Purple Works Nutrition, and you're starving by noon.
00:36:06.000 I guess that's normal.
00:36:07.000 Then you eat a lunch.
00:36:09.000 A lunch should be the size of a fist at the most.
00:36:12.000 And then a dinner, maybe two fists.
00:36:15.000 And no breakfast.
00:36:16.000 That's my new rule, but it's fucking hard to manipulate.
00:36:20.000 So I was burping like crazy on the Compound Censored show on Wednesday.
00:36:25.000 I apologize for that.
00:36:27.000 Fuck, man.
00:36:28.000 A beer and a burrito?
00:36:29.000 It's a burp fest. 1.00
00:36:31.000 I also wanted to convey some important news.
00:36:33.000 I've had some bizarre nightmares this week.
00:36:35.000 I don't know what is going on.
00:36:37.000 Anthony and I are planning to do a comedy show at the Boca Box in March.
00:36:42.000 And I had a nightmare that he went on before me and absolutely slayed.
00:36:48.000 And so I started doing some jokes.
00:36:51.000 Some jokes I've been working on, actually.
00:36:53.000 And they were bombing.
00:36:56.000 And it was run by a student coalition.
00:36:59.000 And they cut my mic 10 minutes in.
00:37:03.000 And I go, what the fuck are you doing?
00:37:05.000 And they go, you're bombing.
00:37:06.000 It's not working.
00:37:06.000 Are you drunk or something?
00:37:07.000 I go, no, I'm not drunk.
00:37:08.000 Have you ever heard of a build?
00:37:10.000 I'd never heard of that term, but I said it in my nightmare.
00:37:13.000 And then I just proceeded to beat the shit out of everyone involved in promoting the show.
00:37:20.000 Pounding their faces in. 0.66
00:37:22.000 One guy who was promoting the show stole my...
00:37:26.000 Samsonite briefcase that I have for my falling down character and he ripped out the center of it and broke it.
00:37:33.000 So I got dirt and I rubbed it in his eyes and then I was rubbing dirt all over the inside of his mouth.
00:37:43.000 Yeah.
00:37:45.000 Well, I think the deal is to be happy, you have to win in your dreams.
00:37:50.000 So if someone fucks you over, you need to get revenge.
00:37:52.000 That's what depression is.
00:37:54.000 Not punishing those who hurt you.
00:37:57.000 And then I had a nightmare last night about my wife having an affair.
00:38:01.000 I can't remember what I did to him, but it was horrible.
00:38:03.000 I gotta write these down.
00:38:06.000 The burrito one.
00:38:07.000 I mean, sorry.
00:38:08.000 The comedy one really stuck, though.
00:38:11.000 I had a dream of my wife having an affair. 0.99
00:38:15.000 And there was a carousel.
00:38:17.000 Enough of that.
00:38:18.000 So, on that note...
00:38:21.000 Thank you for tuning in.
00:38:23.000 We're going to continue behind the paywall having fun, but this was a taste of the Friday show.
00:38:29.000 We usually spend a little more time per topic.
00:38:32.000 We highly recommend you check out Censored.tv.
00:38:35.000 It is 20% off, I believe, with the promo code GAVIN, and we now have Anthony Cumia every day.
00:38:42.000 Gavin McInnes, literally every day.
00:38:44.000 When I say every day with Ann, I mean Monday to Thursday.
00:38:46.000 But I am every fucking day, seven days a week, an hour and a half at least.
00:38:51.000 Thursday nights, it's the Cops and Robbers show, where we bring in a bunch of cops and watch cop videos.
00:38:57.000 Wednesday is Ann and I united together.
00:39:00.000 The new O&A. Monday is Casual Mondays, where we just, it's very similar to this, actually.
00:39:05.000 We just shoot the shit.
00:39:07.000 Tuesdays, we get serious.
00:39:08.000 We talk about plane crashes and incompetence and taxes and Trump.
00:39:12.000 Tuesday, you've got to put on your big boy pants.
00:39:15.000 But, yeah, the rest of the week, it's just a big party.
00:39:18.000 And it's a wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
00:39:22.000 Usually, we spend the time worrying about the future of this country.
00:39:26.000 Since Trump, it's been more of a gigantic celebration.
00:39:29.000 But I'm hedging my bets.
00:39:33.000 As I said to Alex Jones on Infowars, which is free on the site, I am cautiously arrogant, reluctantly gloating this current state of affairs because we saw what happened in Brazil.
00:39:47.000 They had their Trump, Bolsonaro, and now it's a socialist shithole run by Da Silva, who stole the election.
00:39:54.000 So don't get too comfy, guys.
00:39:55.000 We saw this in 2017. It's six months of joy.
00:40:00.000 And then the shit started hitting the fan.
00:40:02.000 Trump derangement syndrome kicked in during Trump's term.
00:40:06.000 And that's when lawfare took off.
00:40:07.000 Anyway, goodbye!