Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S6E76 - THE HARDEST PART OF THIS WHOLE TRANS THING IS KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE

00:00:00.000 Let's go!

00:00:04.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!

00:00:20.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!

00:00:44.000 What is better than conservative rap?

00:00:48.000 Number one genre.

00:00:50.000 In the world.

00:00:51.000 It wakes you.

00:00:52.000 It's like Christian rock.

00:00:53.000 It wakes you up to injustice and you get a beat.

00:01:01.000 So that was a dude.

00:01:02.000 The dude didn't start.

00:01:04.000 I couldn't bear it any longer than whatever that was.

00:01:07.000 20 seconds.

00:01:08.000 Jacob Oaks is his name.

00:01:11.000 And I think he calls himself Vive.

00:01:15.000 So this was sent to us.

00:01:17.000 It's a local Utah County rapper.

00:01:22.000 He is a U.S. Constitution expert.

00:01:25.000 So he's one of us.

00:01:26.000 And he regularly hosts Constitution-type events.

00:01:29.000 Look up the email, local rap legend and constitutional scholar.

00:01:33.000 But not only is he a constitutional scholar, he's also a rapper, yo.

00:01:39.000 It's something about Gen X and millennials.

00:01:41.000 Like, we always got to rap.

00:01:42.000 I can't tell you how many boxers at my gym are also rappers.

00:01:45.000 And not just the black guys. 0.72

00:01:47.000 Black guys is obvious, but the white guys. 0.98

00:01:50.000 So that dude in the middle there, he's a rap guy.

00:01:56.000 I mean, those Proud Boy guys, like the Florida dude, Richie Rich tattooed on his face.

00:02:06.000 I don't know why that seems much better.

00:02:08.000 Or Mike McDonald.

00:02:10.000 I mean, I hate rap.

00:02:11.000 I'm like Kanye.

00:02:12.000 I hate rap.

00:02:13.000 But that seems not as bad.

00:02:16.000 It's sort of like when it's Gen X-y rap.

00:02:20.000 And they have that singing?

00:02:22.000 Fuck me.

00:02:26.000 Yeah, Revive is his rap name.

00:02:28.000 Go back to that video and we'll scroll and let's check out a constitutional scholar, conservative, cool guy who's one of us, introducing us to conscious right-wing rap.

00:02:40.000 It's all about your brain.

00:02:41.000 What's going on with his eyes?

00:02:42.000 They look like raisins.

00:02:43.000 Go back.

00:02:44.000 I want to see him start his shit.

00:02:47.000 Well, let's see the very, very beginning when they're all friends.

00:02:52.000 That's fun.

00:02:53.000 Eating Angry Birds pizza.

00:02:56.000 Okay, now scroll ahead.

00:02:58.000 I hear he...

00:03:00.000 The rumor is...

00:03:02.000 No, no, that's all...

00:03:03.000 The black dude is like... 1.00

00:03:04.000 What do you do with these songs is you have the black dudes in the first and third. 0.99

00:03:07.000 You get credibility.

00:03:11.000 Go, go, go.

00:03:14.000 That's the credibility.

00:03:17.000 Credibility, credibility.

00:03:18.000 Keep going, keep going.

00:03:22.000 There we go.

00:03:27.000 You need plastic bugs?

00:03:29.000 Hello?

00:03:30.000 Hello?

00:03:30.000 Are you all zombies?

00:03:32.000 Look at our dance floor now.

00:03:36.000 Hit it, rapper.

00:03:38.000 Crosshead.

00:03:47.000 Why are you doing that?

00:03:54.000 So terrible. - But I got the knife fishing.

00:04:08.000 And when I say enough, I mean with the entire genre.

00:04:11.000 Although, my best friend Roseanne Barr texted me yesterday, and she's got a number one hit on her hands. 1.00

00:04:18.000 She was in Forbes.

00:04:20.000 It said, Roseanne Barr charts her first number one on the Billboard charts.

00:04:24.000 I'll text that to you.

00:04:25.000 Who do I text it to, Ryan or Sean?

00:04:26.000 Me.

00:04:29.000 And it's so snarky.

00:04:33.000 Hugh McIntyre wrote this.

00:04:34.000 Roseanne Barr's career has taken some odd turns in the past several years from having her blah blah blah blah. 1.00

00:04:38.000 The community has tried her hand at many things and her work has been met with mixed results.

00:04:42.000 The controversial figure can add a new line item to her resume and she's now a billboard charting musician. 1.00

00:04:48.000 Okay.

00:04:49.000 But, ah, shoot.

00:04:50.000 But, um...

00:04:53.000 But I thought this was interesting.

00:04:54.000 From having her comeback TV series cancelled to aligning with more right-wing audiences in an attempt to resuscitate her popularity. 0.98

00:05:04.000 Yeah, it can't be that those are her sincere beliefs.

00:05:07.000 It must be a grift.

00:05:11.000 Yeah.

00:05:14.000 Anthony and I are still sick from the same disease.

00:05:17.000 I'm never making out with Anthony Cumia ever again, by the way.

00:05:21.000 Not worth it.

00:05:22.000 He's a good kisser.

00:05:24.000 It feels amazing.

00:05:25.000 The first hour is probably the best of the four.

00:05:28.000 But it's not worth this fucking crippling cough.

00:05:32.000 My son's got it now, too.

00:05:37.000 Yeah, they just can't handle that anyone would not agree with their retardation. 1.00

00:05:42.000 And we're going to go through their retardation today, from the DNC elections to the trans shit. 1.00

00:05:47.000 We're going to go to the New York subway today live.

00:05:50.000 New experiment.

00:05:51.000 Which is why I made this episode free because it's a very exciting episode.

00:05:55.000 And who is this brought to you by?

00:05:58.000 Nita Fashions.

00:06:00.000 That's what I'm wearing.

00:06:01.000 That's my shirt.

00:06:02.000 My tie is...

00:06:04.000 This is the McInnes Tartan.

00:06:06.000 I wore this to my wedding 20 fucking years ago.

00:06:09.000 And Nita Fashions is how we get high on our own supply. 1.00

00:06:16.000 Last time I did this promo, last week, I said it's for cheap rich people.

00:06:21.000 No, for poor rich people.

00:06:23.000 I meant cheap rich people.

00:06:25.000 So I even fucked up the correction.

00:06:28.000 But they're on tour right now.

00:06:30.000 They're very happy with us.

00:06:31.000 They did very well in Australia.

00:06:35.000 There are a lot of baby monsters in Australia down under.

00:06:38.000 So what are we now?

00:06:40.000 We're February 4th?

00:06:41.000 Oh, it must be bookings.

00:06:43.000 They haven't even started.

00:06:46.000 In Melbourne, Brisbane, and Sydney yet.

00:06:49.000 So just bookings, they're doing incredibly well.

00:06:51.000 So if you're in Australia, please book an appointment with them.

00:06:54.000 You won't regret it.

00:06:55.000 If you're not in Australia, you can contact them on their Instagram, and you can do virtual fittings there.

00:07:03.000 Go to Amazon, get one of those floppy measuring sticks that tailors use, and then get a chick to do it with you. 1.00

00:07:12.000 This was Ryan's idea.

00:07:13.000 Great first date, he said.

00:07:16.000 And the ladies love it. 1.00

00:07:18.000 Great way to meet abroad.

00:07:19.000 And then they have your blueprint forever.

00:07:22.000 I'll never forget what they fucking went through during COVID, man.

00:07:25.000 It was insane.

00:07:27.000 Hong Kong is, of course, sort of China.

00:07:31.000 And that's where they're situated.

00:07:32.000 And they would come back and have to stay in one room for three weeks.

00:07:38.000 Your brother and your dad in one room for three weeks, dude.

00:07:43.000 I'm not exaggerating.

00:07:44.000 Food would be presented at the door, and you just have to sit there going insane.

00:07:50.000 They could do virtual fitting, so they could do some work.

00:07:53.000 I guess you do push-ups and sit-ups and, like, jumping jacks?

00:07:58.000 I mean, Tommy Robinson obviously goes through much worse, but he took on the big state.

00:08:06.000 So that's a terrible music intro we're going to use for today's show.

00:08:09.000 I was going to use this Jim Crow, crawl back into your hole. 1.00

00:08:14.000 I think we need to make fun of people who do terrible music more.

00:08:17.000 Hopefully that will lead to less terrible music.

00:08:19.000 So this woman, none of us are ever going to meet her, but could someone in her circle please tell her that what she's doing is not just embarrassing, but it's bad for their brand. 0.91

00:08:31.000 I'm at the point now, I was saying this to Alex Jones last week on InfoWars, I want them to be better.

00:08:37.000 This is not a worthy adversary.

00:08:40.000 This is like Mexico. 0.75

00:08:41.000 I want to focus on our fight with China. 1.00

00:08:44.000 Our fight with Mexico? 1.00

00:08:46.000 Easy peasy.

00:08:48.000 Listen to this jam.

00:08:49.000 Jim Crow, crawl back into your hole. 0.99

00:09:02.000 Cause I'm gonna bury you with love.

00:09:05.000 Jim Crow is in his home. 0.56

00:09:08.000 Jim Crow, crawl back into your hole. 0.99

00:09:12.000 If you're so against Jim Crow, why do you live in the whitest neighborhood in your city? 0.51

00:09:20.000 Why are you in Larchmont?

00:09:23.000 Why are you in Scarsdale?

00:09:27.000 Why are you in Connecticut?

00:09:29.000 You fucking phone.

00:09:32.000 Go to Mount Vernon.

00:09:33.000 There's no Jim Crow in Mount Vernon.

00:09:40.000 The audio doesn't add up.

00:09:42.000 Playing on the wrong computer.

00:09:44.000 I mean, can you hear me in song?

00:09:51.000 Also, in very important news, I told you I was in Detroit this weekend, and we were talking about how gullible we were when we were kids, and I had a Rod Stewart poster on my wall.

00:10:02.000 I was, I don't know, a nine-year-old?

00:10:04.000 Because I was into soccer, and he was holding a soccer ball.

00:10:07.000 Rod Stewart's sort of Scottish, same way I am, I guess.

00:10:10.000 He was born in England, but his dad was successful.

00:10:14.000 He's a footballer and a coach.

00:10:16.000 And Rod Stewart was destined for professional football in the British sense, but he became too good of a singer.

00:10:24.000 So there's a lot of pictures of him wearing tart and stuff and holding a soccer ball.

00:10:28.000 He sort of fetishized Scotland, I guess the way I do.

00:10:31.000 And my buddy Dale comes over and he's like, you know that he sucked off 12 sheep and his stomach was about to pop from cum, so they had to pump his stomach. 0.98

00:10:41.000 I'm sure you've heard this before, right?

00:10:43.000 And I remember just being a little kid going, all right, well, time's coming down.

00:10:48.000 Roll, roll.

00:10:50.000 Just remove that and put that in storage because that's true.

00:10:54.000 And then there was another story when we were at the Earl of March High School in Kanata, Ontario, where this girl, Cindy, she was on a date, and we're like 12, 13, so dates where, you know, maybe you go to a movie.

00:11:06.000 And he gave her a Spanish fly.

00:11:09.000 And she got so horny, she started fucking the gear shift.

00:11:13.000 And we weren't even, let's say we were 14. I'll go up to 14. We weren't even grossed out.

00:11:20.000 We were just like, well, she must have been very, very horny. 1.00

00:11:22.000 I guess ladies get that way with these Spanish flies. 1.00

00:11:25.000 And they've got to put out the fire.

00:11:27.000 It's like having an itchy ass.

00:11:29.000 You just got to put it out.

00:11:30.000 And if there's nothing around, you can grab a pen.

00:11:33.000 I don't know, you finger yourself.

00:11:34.000 So we were just learning about sex.

00:11:37.000 We're like, all right, that's what sex is.

00:11:39.000 And it took me years to go, yeah, I really, like, the amount of slut you'd have to be, you'd have to be a porn star stripper en masse who's been awake for four days, and you'd have to be 38 years old. 0.84

00:11:57.000 So I was discussing that with a Texan friend in Detroit.

00:12:02.000 And he goes, yeah, I'll bet you 100 bucks.

00:12:04.000 That's bullshit.

00:12:05.000 And I go, I'm not lying.

00:12:06.000 I don't lie.

00:12:08.000 It's just...

00:12:08.000 And people accuse me of lying in the comments.

00:12:11.000 Have I ever lied?

00:12:12.000 Do I come across as the Fonz on this show?

00:12:15.000 There's a lot of very embarrassing stories where I don't come out cool.

00:12:21.000 Listen to me today coughing and wheezing like a faggot. 1.00

00:12:27.000 They cough because they have AIDS. And so he texts me the next day and he goes, just a reminder we made a $100 bet about that Gearshift thing. 0.71

00:12:35.000 And so I texted him like a day later because a good, honest, conservative Westerner, we don't like being in debt.

00:12:43.000 It's very important to us to have a clean slate.

00:12:45.000 So I texted him and I go, okay, I'm going to find her, I guess, through Facebook?

00:12:51.000 I don't know.

00:12:52.000 We're at the age now, 54, where you can look up girls again because they're back to their original name.

00:12:58.000 For a while there, for a good 20 years, I couldn't find anyone that I knew from high school because she had a new name.

00:13:04.000 Now, they're divorced and they're back to their old names.

00:13:07.000 You can look up her full name.

00:13:08.000 I think it was Cindy Wood.

00:13:10.000 And 15 years ago, I believe it was, I contacted her.

00:13:14.000 And I go, there was a fucking crazy rumor about you that's obviously retarded. 1.00

00:13:18.000 I know it's not true.

00:13:19.000 I never considered it to be true as an adult.

00:13:22.000 But as a kid, I was like, yep.

00:13:23.000 And she goes, yeah, that was some guy.

00:13:26.000 I went on a date with him.

00:13:27.000 I didn't put out.

00:13:28.000 So he threatened to make that a story if I didn't put out.

00:13:33.000 And I said, go ahead, shithead.

00:13:36.000 And he did, and my brothers beat the shit out of him.

00:13:40.000 And so I go to the text, and I go, I'm going to find her, and she's going to confirm it, but it's going to take me, like, the better part of a day to track her down.

00:13:50.000 And then I've got to convince her to send you a notice saying it's true.

00:13:55.000 But to be clear, she didn't fuck a gear shift. 1.00

00:14:00.000 It was a rumor we believed, and the purpose of the story is to show you how unbelievably naive you are when you're 14 years old.

00:14:08.000 And he goes, oh, well then I'm out.

00:14:10.000 I'm out.

00:14:14.000 And now I'm kind of annoyed.

00:14:16.000 Like, you think I would sit there and tell you that some chick did a Spanish fly? 1.00

00:14:22.000 Now I'm the guy doing the insane lie rumor thing.

00:14:26.000 Of course it's not true, fuckface.

00:14:31.000 Anyway, I had to get that off my chest.

00:14:34.000 Major Proud Boys development by Alan Freuer, he wants to announce.

00:14:40.000 Guy has spent zero time on Antifa or BLM, but his entire career is dedicated to analyzing the Proud Boys.

00:14:50.000 Alan Freuer is his name, Jewish guy.

00:14:54.000 This is our typical critic.

00:14:57.000 Childless.

00:14:57.000 Fucked up his marriage.

00:14:59.000 He was married to a wonderful woman.

00:15:01.000 She wanted to work.

00:15:02.000 She didn't want to stay at home.

00:15:03.000 They didn't have kids.

00:15:05.000 She got so old that it was too late.

00:15:08.000 She focused on her career.

00:15:10.000 Their marriage fell apart because no kids.

00:15:12.000 And she obviously, when a woman is working that much too, there's going to be temptation for infidelity and she's going to see other men in positions of power and the whole power structure collapses. 1.00

00:15:21.000 Then he starts fucking like some 22-year-old intern and destroys his life.

00:15:26.000 And now he's got his cats and his shitty life.

00:15:29.000 So what do those kind of guys do?

00:15:31.000 They focus on proud family men and they want to take them down.

00:15:36.000 Just sabotage them.

00:15:38.000 I think I said this yesterday, you'll notice your critics tend to be childless and alone when you're a family man.

00:15:44.000 There's not a lot of happily married guys with three kids who are out to tear you down.

00:15:49.000 So it's all revenge.

00:15:50.000 That's the impetus here.

00:15:52.000 But yes, many moons ago, Proud Boys did something so remarkably stupid, I have trouble digesting it even today.

00:16:01.000 Go back up to the picture.

00:16:02.000 So they took a BLM flag off of some old black church.

00:16:07.000 Okay.

00:16:08.000 Now their point is that Black Lives Matter is a bullshit movement.

00:16:12.000 It shouldn't be on a church.

00:16:13.000 BLM and Antifa did much worse to the churches in that same area, right?

00:16:17.000 Remember that?

00:16:18.000 What was it?

00:16:18.000 Like a 500-year-old church in front of the White House that they burnt down?

00:16:22.000 No punishments there at all.

00:16:24.000 St. John's?

00:16:25.000 Yeah.

00:16:25.000 So that didn't happen.

00:16:27.000 And Alan Freuer has, of course, done zero articles about that.

00:16:31.000 But when Proud Boys do it, it's exciting.

00:16:34.000 And zoom in on this.

00:16:36.000 You know, not all jokes aside, but all defense aside, and there's plenty of ways to defend this and show that it's not a big deal, it's just very dumb, and you don't punish the left for the same thing, but keeping that in mind, what are you doing, guys?

00:16:54.000 You know how fucked Proud Boys are because of this one dumb gesture?

00:16:57.000 You can see Enrique up there, and by the way, I thought Enrique took full responsibility for it.

00:17:03.000 I know a lot of Proud Boys, and I don't know why, there's no registration.

00:17:06.000 It's not like Hell's Angels where you're on a list.

00:17:08.000 I know a lot of Proud Boys who, if they make $10, it goes to this black church.

00:17:14.000 Forever.

00:17:15.000 So it's like declaring bankruptcy.

00:17:17.000 They are forever indebted to this church.

00:17:20.000 And so this new...

00:17:21.000 So they won $2.8 million.

00:17:23.000 It's kind of like...

00:17:24.000 It's an unfortunate analogy, but it's kind of like the KKK where the SPLC... Sued them for $50 million.

00:17:33.000 They didn't have any money.

00:17:34.000 So they got $60,000, which they gave to the family in the form of a warehouse.

00:17:40.000 That was all the KKK owned.

00:17:42.000 So Proud Boys don't have any money.

00:17:44.000 And this $2.8 million will never get filled.

00:17:46.000 But from now on, you can't sell Proud Boys merch.

00:17:50.000 Any money you make from the merch has to go to them.

00:17:53.000 Did we show the subhead there?

00:17:56.000 It's not like...

00:17:59.000 A judge awarded the trademark name and symbol of the Washington church to help satisfy a $2.8 million judgment.

00:18:04.000 Look up the judge, by the way.

00:18:08.000 It's just anti-whiteism. 0.72

00:18:11.000 Yes, it was a dumb thing to do.

00:18:13.000 You should be punished to the tune of, I don't know, a $200 fine.

00:18:17.000 Don't do that again.

00:18:17.000 That was mean.

00:18:18.000 You're a jerk.

00:18:20.000 But no, $2.8 million that stretches out like an octopus to all of these random prowl boys who weren't even there.

00:18:28.000 And now they've got to pay off some fake debt.

00:18:31.000 It's just hatred.

00:18:32.000 Revenge.

00:18:33.000 It's the same way Joe Biggs was tortured in prison because the COs assumed that he was the head of some white nationalist group, so he wanted to punish him because he was so happy to finally meet a Klansman.

00:18:47.000 In a way, the entire right is going through this.

00:18:50.000 Is that her in the top left? 0.96

00:18:52.000 That's the judge, yeah.

00:18:52.000 Yeah, she looks kind of like a cartoon.

00:18:56.000 Like, can you imagine her being fair?

00:18:59.000 The number of black female judges in this country is just downright weird. 1.00

00:19:04.000 Especially when it comes to Proud Boys trials.

00:19:06.000 Like Max and John for their appeal.

00:19:08.000 There was four judges there. 0.84

00:19:10.000 We saw it.

00:19:11.000 We showed it virtually.

00:19:12.000 It's on the site, censored.tv.

00:19:14.000 You can look it up.

00:19:15.000 It's free, I believe.

00:19:17.000 Four judges.

00:19:18.000 One of them was some Asian dude.

00:19:19.000 He wanders away during the appeal process.

00:19:23.000 It's like an hour and a half.

00:19:25.000 He's just gone.

00:19:26.000 I don't know, he had to go feed his cat?

00:19:27.000 So now we're down to three, and they're all black females who, believe it or not, were not wildly sympathetic to Max and John's plight.

00:19:39.000 I apologize for this incessant coughing.

00:19:42.000 If you watch Anthony's show yesterday, you can hear him griping about it, too.

00:19:47.000 It's very uncomfortable.

00:19:50.000 But the great news about it is we did...

00:19:52.000 We sort of are human guinea pigs in that I haven't stopped partying, traveling, doing shows.

00:19:58.000 He's been sitting on the couch taking medicine.

00:20:01.000 Exact same time span of the illness.

00:20:03.000 So now you know that it doesn't matter what you do.

00:20:07.000 You can take Mucillix and cough drops and NyQuil, sleep 15 hours a night, or you can just keep living your life.

00:20:14.000 It's the same amount of sickness.

00:20:16.000 It's a week.

00:20:17.000 It will be a week this Thursday.

00:20:21.000 Another major development, our buddy Chase Geyser, kind of an unfortunate name, makes you think of a woman squirting.

00:20:31.000 This is the most important report I've ever done.

00:20:33.000 I just received documents from a Freedom of Information Act request submitted last year, proving the FBI has been spying on Infowars since 2013. Does history even go back that far?

00:20:46.000 2013, that's pre-Trump.

00:20:50.000 2013, pre-Proud Boys.

00:20:53.000 Was there even cars back then?

00:20:56.000 Breaking.

00:20:58.000 Recently released documents under the Trump administration proved the FBI was spying, disgustingly classifying Infowars as a white, racially motivated extremist organization.

00:21:10.000 We're up against fucking absolute raging losers, aren't we?

00:21:14.000 This is who we're up against.

00:21:17.000 Which brings me, I want to jump over, speaking of who we're up against, to the DNC elections.

00:21:22.000 Now, my ex-boyfriend Anthony, that I'm no longer kissing, covered it yesterday.

00:21:28.000 So we're going to breeze through this super fast.

00:21:30.000 And then I want to discuss the New York City subways.

00:21:35.000 But just so we know who we're up against, because you read something like that in the Times, you don't know Alan Foyer is out for revenge.

00:21:42.000 You still, I mean, I think the majority of Americans don't know that the New York Times is a joke.

00:21:48.000 They haven't read Bill McGowan's Grey Lady Down or his prequel to that, the book Coloring the News.

00:21:54.000 So they go, it's the paper of record.

00:21:56.000 It's all the news that's fit to print.

00:21:58.000 And when you read that they burned down, it looks like they burned down a church.

00:22:01.000 You go, that's bad, black church. 1.00

00:22:03.000 They must be racist.

00:22:05.000 But if you know anything about what's going on, you see that our adversaries are just silly.

00:22:14.000 They're silly.

00:22:15.000 And for some reason, they're totally focused on black females, which are 7% of the population.

00:22:22.000 Now, it's not the dumbest thing in the world because I think white women who are, well, white adjacent too, they're obsessed with black women. 1.00

00:22:34.000 Why?

00:22:34.000 I'm not positive.

00:22:36.000 But they worship them.

00:22:38.000 Barack Obama won because of the white girl vote. 0.95

00:22:41.000 So maybe there is some sanity to this, but I don't think so.

00:22:45.000 They're esoteric.

00:22:47.000 They're retarded. 1.00

00:22:48.000 I'm not talking about black women in general. 0.62

00:22:50.000 I'm talking about the ones that are running for the DNC. And they're bad for your brand.

00:22:55.000 Go to 3-3.

00:22:56.000 Brianna Wu, who's a silly trans man. 1.00

00:22:58.000 Well, it's a man who thinks he's a woman. 0.99

00:23:01.000 But he has a good take.

00:23:02.000 I'm incredibly disheartened by the Democratic Party leadership.

00:23:05.000 They just elected it.

00:23:07.000 It seems we are doubling down on identity politics when we need to become brawlers for the middle class.

00:23:12.000 We'll blame Kamala's loss on allegedly racist and sexist American public, but you can't admit being leaderless for four years with a senile man. 0.54

00:23:20.000 Devastating poll came out today showing the American people define our party with elitism and LGBT more than economics.

00:23:27.000 This is untenable.

00:23:29.000 I mean, that's just simple facts.

00:23:31.000 But, like, you've seen this already.

00:23:33.000 It's a million times.

00:23:34.000 We don't...

00:23:35.000 It's a million times.

00:23:36.000 You've seen this a million times.

00:23:37.000 Monday is casual Monday, so we don't get to serious stuff until Tuesday, so I'm sorry that this is so late.

00:23:42.000 But let's just, for the sake of the time capsule that is the show, let's just show what happened last week with the DNC elections.

00:23:51.000 I can't believe Anthony and I didn't livestream it.

00:23:54.000 That was a major mistake on our part.

00:23:56.000 We were both sick.

00:23:57.000 Look at this shit.

00:24:00.000 Go ahead.

00:24:01.000 Hello, Democrats.

00:24:02.000 Hey, I am speaking, and I would love your attention.

00:24:06.000 There is a black woman at this podium, and I deserve your attention like the 11 people who went before me.

00:24:12.000 Yes, I am speaking.

00:24:14.000 Look at this fraggle.

00:24:17.000 She looks like good luck.

00:24:18.000 She looks like she eats the algae off your tank. 1.00

00:24:21.000 Just grabbing a chair.

00:24:22.000 Ran for chair.

00:24:24.000 Te quiero mucho, Papa.

00:24:25.000 Gracias por todo.

00:24:27.000 My name is Artie Blanco.

00:24:29.000 Why do you gotta read that?

00:24:30.000 Vote for me for vice chair.

00:24:32.000 Look, she has to read her script.

00:24:37.000 You can't memorize that?

00:24:39.000 When we stand together.

00:24:41.000 We are in a time in this country when our democracy and our rights are under attack.

00:24:46.000 Not true.

00:24:47.000 We're at a time where black and brown people, women, and other minorities are being blamed for everything that's wrong with this country.

00:24:54.000 I am a woman.

00:24:55.000 I am black.

00:24:57.000 You're definitely behind the problem.

00:24:58.000 Whoa, what's going on with that forehead?

00:25:00.000 Good afternoon, DNC! Hey!

00:25:06.000 Let me say something.

00:25:08.000 Over the last several days, we've seen what happens when we have the wrong people in powerful places.

00:25:14.000 And so today, I ask for your support and electing me as your DNC vice chair because in a time of crisis, leadership matters.

00:25:24.000 My people are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

00:25:28.000 That's a new one.

00:25:29.000 We are sick and tired of being the last one hired and the first one hired.

00:25:34.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:25:35.000 We are sick and tired of the...

00:25:38.000 I've spent the last 15 years fighting for the American people, all 340 million of them.

00:25:47.000 ...work to do to organize, show up, and win.

00:25:50.000 And that is why I'm asking the people who are still with me in this ride, because you know the work that I do to protect the vote.

00:25:56.000 I mean, this is SNL. SNL isn't even that good.

00:25:59.000 This is kids in the hall.

00:26:02.000 I have a theory.

00:26:03.000 What about this?

00:26:04.000 They know that they're toast for four years.

00:26:06.000 Because I notice a lot of right-wingers are like, we just won 2026. They know they're toast for, sorry, at least to the midterms.

00:26:15.000 Maybe they're just like throwing in the towel and letting the other kids play.

00:26:21.000 You know, in Little League Baseball, if it's 11-0, then you start letting the outfielders pitch.

00:26:27.000 They even do it in the MLB. And sometimes they do really well because they're throwing a fastball at an arc like this because they can't make it to the plate in a straight line.

00:26:38.000 So the batter is like, what the fuck?

00:26:40.000 It's coming from out of space.

00:26:41.000 And some outfielders do pretty good pitching.

00:26:45.000 So it's possible, not that these outfielders are going to do any good, it's possible they're just letting them play.

00:26:52.000 Like, you know, after a wedding when the drunk dads and uncles are there and they get on stage and they're like, They do Louie Louie or something to the six drunk people left.

00:27:02.000 That might be what this is.

00:27:04.000 Because it cannot be real.

00:27:06.000 You can't be really going for it.

00:27:11.000 Go to 3-5.

00:27:15.000 What is this?

00:27:16.000 Oh yeah, so this is a juxtaposition.

00:27:19.000 So that's their side.

00:27:20.000 Let's look at our side.

00:27:21.000 How do we operate?

00:27:22.000 Again, this is Ancient Chinese Secrets.

00:27:25.000 I'm going to make America healthier than other countries in the world right now.

00:27:29.000 Will you guarantee do what every other major country does?

00:27:33.000 It's a simple question.

00:27:34.000 And by the way, Bernie, you know, the problem of corruption is not just in the federal agencies.

00:27:42.000 It's in Congress, too.

00:27:43.000 Almost all the members of this panel are accepting, including yourself, are accepting millions of dollars from the pharmaceutical industry and protecting their interests.

00:27:54.000 I thought that that would come.

00:27:56.000 No.

00:27:57.000 I ran for president like you.

00:27:59.000 I got millions and millions of contributions.

00:28:02.000 They did not come from the executives, not one nickel of PAC money from the pharmaceutical industry.

00:28:09.000 They came from workers. 1.00

00:28:11.000 In 2020, you were the single largest pharmaceutical money.

00:28:17.000 From workers all over this country.

00:28:20.000 Workers, not a nickel from corporate tax.

00:28:24.000 You were the single largest except for pharmaceutical dollars.

00:28:27.000 No, from workers in the industry.

00:28:29.000 1.5 million.

00:28:31.000 Yeah, out of 200 million.

00:28:33.000 All right, but...

00:28:34.000 All right, that's enough for that.

00:28:35.000 You have not answered.

00:28:36.000 Last question.

00:28:37.000 What?

00:28:40.000 Do I want to see the beginning of that clip?

00:28:43.000 Okay.

00:28:46.000 I'm going to make America healthier than other countries in the world right now.

00:28:51.000 Will you guarantee do what every other major country does?

00:28:55.000 It's a simple question.

00:28:55.000 He plays him as well as Barack Obama.

00:29:01.000 Okay, so they elected David Hogg.

00:29:05.000 I've heard a lot of rumors about him not being at the Parkland shooting.

00:29:09.000 Apparently it's been debunked.

00:29:10.000 He was there.

00:29:11.000 He just left and came back and he was, you know, in the thick of it.

00:29:13.000 I don't know.

00:29:14.000 But really, do you think anyone identifies with David Hogg?

00:29:20.000 Maybe like three weird, ugly nerds.

00:29:24.000 I complain about my body.

00:29:27.000 Wait, go back.

00:29:28.000 Well, let's hear his ending.

00:29:32.000 No, the beginning of that clip. - You Democrats! 0.98

00:29:38.000 In the words of Beyonce, America has a problem, but Democrats, we're about to fix it.

00:29:46.000 God bless you.

00:29:47.000 Thank you so much.

00:29:48.000 Let's get to work.

00:29:51.000 Nice cannon.

00:29:53.000 Beyonce.

00:29:53.000 David Hogg.

00:29:54.000 First of all, thank you, Chairman Harrison.

00:30:06.000 Can we give a round of applause to Jamie?

00:30:10.000 I can't see him very well.

00:30:13.000 Thank you.

00:30:14.000 Thank you.

00:30:15.000 Who's ready to take the fight to the Republicans and win this thing?

00:30:18.000 Me.

00:30:19.000 Are you guys ready to fight?

00:30:20.000 Yes.

00:30:21.000 It's been a long day, but guess what?

00:30:23.000 We have a long road ahead.

00:30:25.000 Let's go and kick some ass. 0.86

00:30:27.000 Kiss some ass. 1.00

00:30:28.000 You Democrats!

00:30:30.000 Anyway, that goes on and on and on.

00:30:32.000 Okay, I'm sorry.

00:30:33.000 I know Anthony played all these, but I can't resist.

00:30:36.000 This is them trying to figure out all their own retarded rules. 1.00

00:30:40.000 Like, it's got to be half male, half female.

00:30:47.000 But if there's a trans person, what do we do now? 0.97

00:30:51.000 Okay, trans, then it's a zero. 1.00

00:30:53.000 So say I had four trans and two other people.

00:30:56.000 Those last two have to be one male, one female.

00:30:58.000 And then the trans don't count. 1.00

00:31:00.000 They're gray.

00:31:01.000 They're not black or white.

00:31:02.000 Okay?

00:31:06.000 Look at them.

00:31:06.000 They're so confused by their own mess.

00:31:08.000 Look at her face.

00:31:10.000 What are we doing now?

00:31:11.000 What are the rules that we made up for ourselves?

00:31:16.000 At least deaf people can understand. 0.67

00:31:22.000 It's even on gender right now.

00:31:26.000 It's evenly spent.

00:31:31.000 I'm so sorry.

00:31:31.000 Hi.

00:31:32.000 Brad Telly, former parliamentarian for the city of Utah.

00:31:33.000 I do have a question for the chair, if she would.

00:31:37.000 So that's assuming that so few candidates get zero that we can sustain six additional losses on top of that.

00:31:44.000 What happens if we have eight candidates who get zero on this round?

00:31:46.000 Do we have to eliminate those six, or would they be eligible again on a subsequent round?

00:31:51.000 This is...

00:31:53.000 Okay, this is what I've always said about politics.

00:31:55.000 Some women are good at it, Maggie Thatcher, whatever, but it is essentially a numbers game, and women tend not to be great at numbers, which is why I don't think women should be Apache helicopter pilots. 1.00

00:32:07.000 Go check the email, onebraincell31.

00:32:11.000 We're just very different, okay?

00:32:13.000 You're magic wizards.

00:32:14.000 You can create life.

00:32:15.000 Some of you do well in the guy world.

00:32:18.000 Some guys do.

00:32:20.000 I can see your screen there, shit for brains.

00:32:23.000 Some guys do well in the girl world, I guess? 1.00

00:32:25.000 I don't know.

00:32:26.000 It's hard to think of an example of that.

00:32:28.000 maybe like some fancy pastry chef or some shit but but generally we can make generalizations Generally, men are better at details.

00:32:43.000 This is why men make better directors.

00:32:45.000 They keep saying women should be directors, movie directors. 1.00

00:32:48.000 I've done movies.

00:32:51.000 When you watch a movie, you see her look at the guy on the horse, and then you see him look back, and then they gallop off, and then there's a fight.

00:32:59.000 They've done a storyboard.

00:33:00.000 There's a square that has her like that.

00:33:03.000 He has to do that, make sure the lighting is perfect, make sure it matches, and then he checks it off his to-do list.

00:33:09.000 It's basically a giant Excel spreadsheet of shots you've got to get.

00:33:14.000 At the same time, if the actors suck, you got to go, you're fired, or you got to do it again, or maybe you got to do it again 80 times because you can't fire this person.

00:33:22.000 With Back to the Future, they had that redheaded dude, Rocky Dennis, for like fucking two weeks, and then they fired him. 0.80

00:33:30.000 Women don't like doing that. 1.00

00:33:31.000 That's mean.

00:33:32.000 And women don't like Excel spreadsheets. 1.00

00:33:35.000 So they shouldn't be directors, and they shouldn't.

00:33:38.000 Drive Apache helicopters.

00:33:40.000 Show that.

00:33:40.000 Do you have the video?

00:33:41.000 This is a common meme you've seen a million times, but it perfectly summarizes the difference between men and women. 0.99

00:33:46.000 And by the way, one is not better than the other.

00:33:50.000 One second.

00:33:51.000 Something else is playing.

00:33:53.000 Okay.

00:33:54.000 We'll make that other thing playing go away.

00:33:57.000 Three to my right.

00:33:58.000 Two big dogs.

00:33:59.000 They're on the lead.

00:34:00.000 It's all good.

00:34:00.000 Can't hear it.

00:34:04.000 You just ruined it.

00:34:05.000 Two guys to my left.

00:34:06.000 It's all good.

00:34:07.000 Three to my right.

00:34:08.000 I can take them.

00:34:09.000 Two big dogs.

00:34:09.000 They're on the lead.

00:34:10.000 So good.

00:34:11.000 I'm just a girl.

00:34:13.000 I like what they use.

00:34:16.000 I'm just a girl in my world.

00:34:19.000 So we're different, okay?

00:34:23.000 Okay.

00:34:24.000 And in this DNC clip that I cut off, but I hope you still have it ready, he's getting down to the minutia of their new rules.

00:34:32.000 And I don't think any of these women have any fucking idea what he's talking about. 0.99

00:34:37.000 And I think because there's cameras on them, they're just going to bluff and go.

00:34:40.000 It's the second one you listed.

00:34:44.000 If we have eight and there's six of us, then six get to be the president.

00:34:51.000 Go ahead.

00:34:53.000 So what happens if we...

00:34:54.000 It's down to four.

00:34:56.000 Right.

00:34:57.000 But what happens if eight people get zero and then we eliminate four?

00:35:01.000 Look at a sign language chick. 1.00

00:35:04.000 So the question is...

00:35:07.000 I love it!

00:35:31.000 The motion was, as amended, was that...

00:35:36.000 We drop the four lowest performing candidates in the next round, two men, two women, as well as anyone who gets zero,

00:35:52.000 For a maximum, what we say, for a max, what we say, up to four gender balanced would get dropped along with zero for a maximum of six people being removed in the next round.

00:36:07.000 Does that make sense?

00:36:09.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

00:36:10.000 Because then we could still have a fulsome.

00:36:12.000 Un-fucking-believable.

00:36:17.000 Liberal logic.

00:36:18.000 This is liberal logic.

00:36:20.000 You wave the flag of the country you don't want to go back to while you burn the flag of the country you demand you get to stay in.

00:36:29.000 Or, 2-5, Idris Elba...

00:36:34.000 Has noticed that there's a lot of stabbings since they've brought in the turd world and they have Muslim refugees everywhere and that's their culture. 1.00

00:36:41.000 So the solution obviously is less knives.

00:36:46.000 This is 2-5.

00:36:47.000 We have to get rid of the knives in Britain.

00:36:51.000 Especially pointy ones.

00:36:53.000 Seem reasonable?

00:36:56.000 The knives used in most of the terrible...

00:37:00.000 Crimes.

00:37:00.000 That's one of the stats in the films.

00:37:02.000 And those kitchen knives are usually a domestic situation.

00:37:05.000 Okay.

00:37:07.000 So kitchen knives, of course, it's very difficult.

00:37:10.000 They're a domestic knife.

00:37:11.000 I do think there is areas of innovation that we can do with kitchen knives.

00:37:16.000 I hate to say it.

00:37:17.000 Not all kitchen knives need to have a point on them.

00:37:19.000 That sounds like a crazy thing to say, but actually it would reduce.

00:37:23.000 You're doing great.

00:37:24.000 You can still cut your food without the point on the knife, which is an innovative way to sort of look at it.

00:37:29.000 And in a country in crisis, I'm sorry, but yeah, let's look at that.

00:37:34.000 But the truth is, all knives, you know, the loophole on the heritage knives allows the sale of zombie ninja swords to be sold.

00:37:43.000 Yeah, that's the problem.

00:37:45.000 Ninja swords.

00:37:45.000 You've got your granddad's sword on there, and you want that.

00:37:48.000 That's enough out of you.

00:37:50.000 I hear unbelievably bad logic.

00:37:53.000 So Purple Works Nutrition is our second sponsor for today's free episode.

00:37:59.000 And they asked me to look into, I don't know why, the violence on the subways.

00:38:04.000 And they said, you always say that the left has no idea what they're doing.

00:38:09.000 But from what I can see, can you stop showing your fucking screen there, tarred brain? 1.00

00:38:17.000 He goes, from what I can see, it looks really bad on the subway.

00:38:21.000 And I said, I can't just be going down the subway.

00:38:24.000 And he goes, well, I'll sponsor it.

00:38:25.000 So this next segment is the New York City Subway Expose.

00:38:29.000 It's sponsored by Purple Works Nutrition.

00:38:32.000 I'm not on it today.

00:38:34.000 So if you notice, my performance is sluggish or uninteresting.

00:38:37.000 It's because I'm not on Purple Works Nutrition.

00:38:40.000 It's my pre-workout.

00:38:41.000 You'll notice that I get involved with all the sponsors.

00:38:44.000 Nita Fashions, I'm wearing it right now.

00:38:46.000 Oops.

00:38:48.000 Purple Works Nutrition, I take it every day I work out.

00:38:50.000 I haven't been able to work out.

00:38:51.000 In fact, the gym owner just texted me.

00:38:53.000 What's he got to say?

00:38:55.000 He's probably texting me a meme.

00:38:58.000 It has nothing to do with anything.

00:39:03.000 Nothing to do with the gym.

00:39:04.000 He sent me a Michael Malice tweet.

00:39:07.000 He doesn't know that we have beef, I guess.

00:39:09.000 When we conquer Canada and make them our slaves, at least we won't have to hear about how it was racist.

00:39:14.000 That's a funny joke.

00:39:17.000 But on days when I am working out, I take this stuff, Invictus.

00:39:21.000 It gets me going.

00:39:22.000 It sort of puts a panic in your step where you start getting the ants crawling on you and go, I better start working out now or these ants are not going to go away.

00:39:31.000 So take that.

00:39:32.000 They also have coffee.

00:39:33.000 They're also really focused so far on...

00:39:36.000 So far in 2025 on your New Year's resolution.

00:39:40.000 And they're saying, use us.

00:39:43.000 I'm sure they don't like this, but Purple Works Nutrition rapes you. 0.99

00:39:46.000 It rapes you into going to the gym.

00:39:49.000 And even if you're hungover, you go there.

00:39:51.000 And I've had times when I've been hungover.

00:39:53.000 I've taken Purple Works.

00:39:54.000 I've had a good workout.

00:39:56.000 And I was like, well, I guess I'm not hungover.

00:39:58.000 And then the hangover starts.

00:40:00.000 And I had delayed it.

00:40:02.000 I'm not saying you should get involved in this level of chemistry, but there's some cool little tricks you can do.

00:40:08.000 So use promo code GAVIN, 15% off, and it totally changes your workout.

00:40:15.000 And I don't know if you've seen me with my shirt off.

00:40:17.000 It might not be the sexiest thing you've ever seen, but if you could have seen me before I moved to New York, I made David Hogg look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

00:40:26.000 So I'm very thankful.

00:40:28.000 To PurpleWorks Nutrition for getting me to at least a not hideous level of American body.

00:40:35.000 And being good at it, if you will.

00:40:37.000 So thank you, PurpleWorks, for this assignment.

00:40:40.000 We're willing to check it out.

00:40:42.000 I'm somewhat dubious.

00:40:44.000 I tend to think that the New York subways are just as bad as everyone thinks.

00:40:49.000 But we did look into it, thanks to you.

00:40:53.000 Cover the post.

00:40:54.000 If you go into the Google Docs, Sean, You'll see New York City subway.

00:41:00.000 And I want to talk about a few things, and then we're going to go there together.

00:41:06.000 I don't know if you can handle that level of production, but we're going to go on to the subway.

00:41:15.000 Let's see it.

00:41:16.000 But before we go, let's do some background.

00:41:18.000 So the cover of the post was concerned about this phenomenon.

00:41:22.000 Not too sharp.

00:41:23.000 This is from a while ago.

00:41:24.000 Fairbeaters ignore new jagged barriers and aren't...

00:41:27.000 They put up these jagged barriers and I don't think anyone tested them.

00:41:31.000 Rick and Morty could get through.

00:41:34.000 You just put your hand on them.

00:41:35.000 They're not sharp.

00:41:37.000 I guess they were scared of getting sued.

00:41:42.000 I was down there, though, and recently there are a ton more cops.

00:41:45.000 By the way, this is today's New York Post.

00:41:48.000 New Jersey governor claimed he had an illegal migrant in his home, and then they go, okay, we're coming to arrest him.

00:41:53.000 He goes, no, no, it was metaphorical.

00:41:55.000 And then we have Trump being tough on tariffs with Mexico and Canada, which is just a negotiation technique.

00:42:02.000 Don't panic.

00:42:03.000 Mexico and Canada.

00:42:04.000 He's not really going to give you 25%.

00:42:05.000 He's just getting you scared.

00:42:08.000 That's what he does.

00:42:10.000 So, I did notice there are cops everywhere.

00:42:13.000 So, they might be making a difference.

00:42:15.000 NYPD riding the subway, 9pm to 5am for the next six months.

00:42:20.000 Mayor Adams wants two cops on every single subway.

00:42:23.000 Wow.

00:42:24.000 That's impressive.

00:42:25.000 I think we have 30,000 NYPD. It's more than the Danish military, which, by the way, is assigned to protect Greenland.

00:42:33.000 So, we could just send our cops there.

00:42:36.000 What's with the floor?

00:42:39.000 It's like salt.

00:42:40.000 Yeah.

00:42:41.000 Looks terrible.

00:42:46.000 Okay, we got it, news.

00:42:50.000 So this is the kind of thing that they say is going on.

00:42:53.000 A homeless New York City man makes a chilling confession after shoving a woman onto a moving NYC train.

00:42:59.000 I did it because I wanted to.

00:43:02.000 A homeless man who literally shoved a woman in the path of a moving train said he wanted to do it. 1.00

00:43:08.000 Marquise Brazelis, 26, brazenly admitted to tossing a 23-year-old woman. 1.00

00:43:12.000 Let's see her race. 1.00

00:43:14.000 They never discuss race when it's black on mine.

00:43:16.000 Have you noticed that?

00:43:17.000 I pushed her onto the train because I was high and I was mad.

00:43:21.000 At least he's honest.

00:43:25.000 Prosecutors said the unhinged man should be held on $150,000 bail.

00:43:29.000 Like, dude, you could hold him on $1.50 bail.

00:43:32.000 He was busted on January 19th for entering the prohibited area of the Bergen Street subway station, only to be released and then arrested four days later.

00:43:40.000 Obviously, we need loony bins back in this city, folks.

00:43:43.000 Right?

00:43:44.000 And here's another thing, too.

00:43:46.000 We don't just need loony bins.

00:43:48.000 We need fucking giants monitoring that and doing security, not chicks. 1.00

00:43:53.000 You have chicks, like young girls, chubby women working at these shelters. 1.00

00:43:58.000 In New York City.

00:43:59.000 And they're fat and they get preyed upon.

00:44:01.000 They get beaten.

00:44:02.000 They get raped.

00:44:02.000 They should all look like linebackers.

00:44:05.000 That's who should be running the loony bins. 0.99

00:44:07.000 They should be out of town.

00:44:08.000 They should be upstate.

00:44:10.000 Maybe in Troy, New York.

00:44:11.000 Some shithole town like that.

00:44:13.000 Sorry, Troy.

00:44:17.000 So that's the typical chap on the subways.

00:44:22.000 Oh, here's a good one where Hochul is talking about...

00:44:27.000 She just gets blasted with stats.

00:44:30.000 Stat blast.

00:44:32.000 I say a lot of things with statistics, and I see the percentage that a crime is down 42% since 2021. But if you look back to pre-pandemic, and I know you like to say that overall crime is down 12% since the pandemic, but murders are up 200%.

00:44:49.000 Felony assault is up 55%, and burglary is up 140%.

00:44:54.000 So, are you saying that this is progress?

00:44:58.000 Are you talking about statewide, city, or subway?

00:45:01.000 Oh, no, no, crime in the transit system.

00:45:03.000 I'm sorry, Governor.

00:45:03.000 Yes, crime in the transit system.

00:45:05.000 Statewide?

00:45:05.000 Want to answer that?

00:45:06.000 I say a lot of things.

00:45:07.000 You ever take the subway to Ithaca?

00:45:11.000 I'm taking the subway to Canada.

00:45:13.000 It's 20 hours, but it's only $2.98.

00:45:18.000 Wait, go back to the beginning of that.

00:45:19.000 I talked over it.

00:45:20.000 I want to hear the whole, because he probably said Subway very clearly.

00:45:23.000 I say a lot of things with statistics, and I see the percentage that a crime is down 42% since 2021. But if you look back to pre-pandemic, and I know you like to say that overall crime is down 12% since the pandemic, but murders are up 200%, felony assault is up 55%, and burglary is up 140%.

00:45:45.000 Are you saying that this is progress?

00:45:47.000 He wasn't clear.

00:45:48.000 But yeah, the subway, it's looking pretty bad.

00:45:51.000 Here we have a 66-year-old female transit worker was standing on the platform at the Harlem 148th Street subway station at 1.15 p.m.

00:46:00.000 Friday when she was randomly punched in the face.

00:46:02.000 Police have released surveillance images of the assailant to aid their investigation.

00:46:08.000 Anyone with information, blah, blah, blah.

00:46:11.000 Call me a racist, but I'd love to see the race of the victim.

00:46:16.000 We never get that, of course, unless it's convenient to the narrative.

00:46:24.000 So this is what has been sent to me as an example of what goes on in the New York City subways.

00:46:31.000 I need to see the context.

00:46:33.000 I need to see this myself.

00:46:34.000 But this is what was sort of presented to us as a reason to go check out the New York City subways.

00:46:40.000 What do we got here?

00:46:44.000 Squeezing in one thing.

00:46:45.000 Fucking subway.

00:46:47.000 Hopping over a dude.

00:46:50.000 Let's take a couch on.

00:46:51.000 I saw a possum for a second.

00:46:54.000 Wait, that's...

00:46:56.000 I hate those dudes.

00:47:03.000 So this is all of New York, not just the subways.

00:47:10.000 Black dudes love dressing up as Spider-Man. 1.00

00:47:13.000 Yep.

00:47:13.000 What is that?

00:47:14.000 Remember they would do it in front of our office and they're waving to cars and people are beeping.

00:47:18.000 I go, get a fucking job.

00:47:19.000 Yeah.

00:47:20.000 And he goes, no.

00:47:22.000 Okay, touche.

00:47:23.000 All right.

00:47:24.000 So enough talk about going to check things out or...

00:47:29.000 How things are in New York City.

00:47:31.000 I'm going to actually go there right now and check out the subway and tell you if it is as bad as everyone says it is.

00:47:38.000 Can you handle that, Sean?

00:47:40.000 Yep.

00:47:41.000 Yep.

00:47:42.000 Okay.

00:47:43.000 Okay, here we go boys. - All right, we're at Grand Central.

00:47:58.000 So let's go see how bad these trains are.

00:48:01.000 She's living in a bag. 0.79

00:48:15.000 She's in a bag.

00:48:18.000 Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! 1.00

00:48:28.000 And I'm going to go.

00:48:30.000 All you can hit is pipe boy.

00:48:32.000 You're popped.

00:48:39.000 Yo, y'all niggas, this is a b*tch. 1.00

00:48:45.000 I'm sorry.

00:48:47.000 Shit.

00:48:49.000 Shit.

00:48:50.000 Why are you waiting for something to help me?

00:48:53.000 I'm trying to help you.

00:48:55.000 I'm just gonna pay.

00:49:02.000 Some people pay, some people don't.

00:49:09.000 Oh! 0.60

00:49:16.000 How did you get that?

00:49:18.000 I'm sure you're set it up.

00:49:24.000 I'm sure you're going to pay.

00:49:50.000 Oh, I got his hat.

00:49:52.000 Let me skip with the congestion pads.

00:50:15.000 You can't hear them very well.

00:50:18.000 Is that a minotaur or a centaur?

00:50:20.000 Sit.

00:50:21.000 Ow! 1.00

00:50:29.000 Put your hands up!

00:50:30.000 No, no, no!

00:50:31.000 It's coming!

00:50:32.000 It's coming!

00:50:32.000 No! No! Cry! Cry! Cry!

00:50:37.000 Like the beat, see oh!

00:51:01.000 Oh, footo!

00:51:03.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:51:16.000 Shut up! 1.00

00:51:20.000 Oh, shit.

00:51:21.000 Oh, oh, no.

00:51:23.000 Well, if y'all touch me, it's over.

00:51:25.000 It's over.

00:51:25.000 Shut up.

00:51:26.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:51:26.000 Look at you. 0.95

00:51:27.000 Look at you.

00:51:28.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:51:28.000 Oh, no. 0.95

00:51:29.000 Oh, no.

00:51:31.000 Merry Christmas!

00:51:32.000 - Merry Christmas.

00:51:33.000 - Merry Christmas.

00:51:34.000 - I'm so mad at you, sir. - You sold the last Indian. 1.00

00:51:39.000 - Modern day science.

00:51:42.000 - You sound dumb and give a kill your ass. 1.00

00:51:45.000 - Thank you, man.

00:51:47.000 - I'm a gangster.

00:51:50.000 I'm a mob, nigga.

00:51:52.000 I stick niggas in their face. 1.00

00:51:56.000 No gangster, nigga. 1.00

00:51:58.000 I'm real rap, nigga.

00:52:00.000 - I'm a gangster.

00:52:02.000 - I love this. - - - - - - - Is it like a big deal? - - - I don't know.

00:52:30.000 Seems fine to me.

00:52:31.000 It's diverse.

00:52:31.000 You know, New York City, the melting pot.

00:52:33.000 There's a lot going on here.

00:52:35.000 It's exciting.

00:52:36.000 It's interesting.

00:52:38.000 It's fun.

00:52:39.000 It's different.

00:52:40.000 And it's new.

00:52:42.000 I don't see what the big deal is.

00:53:01.000 You know, we're very balanced here, so we crap on the left a lot.

00:53:06.000 But we also show when the right exaggerates, or when the right fucks up.

00:53:10.000 The right fucked up with that stupid rap song, and the right fucked up by pretending that the New York City subways are terrible under Democrat rule.

00:53:20.000 If you're a real nut, though, and you still think it's a problem after seeing me investigate it, And realize that it's just fun and interesting.

00:53:30.000 There are some vigilantes going around with hammers.

00:53:34.000 A brute with nearly two dozen prior arrests bashed a teen with a hammer on board a Bronx train Monday, all because the victim wouldn't give up his seat for a woman, cops said.

00:53:45.000 The 19-year-old victim told police he was riding northbound on the D train when Tommy Sprove Started tapping on his phone, asking him to get up so a woman could sit.

00:53:56.000 The teen ignored the pestering until Sprove suddenly hit him once in the face with a hammer, causing a cut and swelling on his left eye.

00:54:03.000 Ice! 0.99

00:54:05.000 As the victim got off the train, officers were on board the train, but in a different car, spotted him bleeding from the forehead.

00:54:12.000 The teen pointed out the alleged attacker was carrying a hammer.

00:54:17.000 Sprove!

00:54:22.000 Well, give up your seat on the train and that will not be an issue.

00:54:32.000 One thing that confused me, Sean, there when you were shooting all that footage that we did live on the trains is why was there writing sometimes on the footage?

00:54:42.000 Including ABC TV. That's just graffiti that you have all over the place.

00:54:51.000 No.

00:54:52.000 No?

00:54:52.000 No.

00:54:53.000 Oh, I guess I'm wrong again.

00:54:58.000 All right, should we do...

00:55:03.000 There's so much stuff I want to get to, and we are pretty pressed for time.

00:55:10.000 Let's jump into some quick immigration and some quick trans. 0.93

00:55:15.000 I think the interstitials might be longer than the actual segment, but whatever.

00:55:19.000 We got to talk about this American flag shit.

00:55:21.000 All these fucking people in this country, if you don't like this country, fuck off.

00:55:40.000 You know what I realized last night, gentlemen?

00:55:49.000 Ryan's last week ever in the world is February 20th.

00:55:57.000 I'm gone that week skiing.

00:56:01.000 So we'll have to do some pre-records.

00:56:04.000 I want to do a show all about Sean.

00:56:08.000 And what makes him tick.

00:56:09.000 And then we'll have to do some sort of competition to do a Sean's mailbag or a mailbag for a song and then a final video song.

00:56:18.000 And then I want to do a Ryan episode where we go over the ups and downs over the years.

00:56:23.000 So we'll bank those.

00:56:26.000 But, yeah.

00:56:28.000 We're talking about a kid-friendly episode, too, while Ryan's still here.

00:56:33.000 Okay.

00:56:34.000 Could do that.

00:56:36.000 And then Valentine's Day, we always take off.

00:56:39.000 Just kidding.

00:56:39.000 That's super gay.

00:56:42.000 So that's something to keep in mind.

00:56:44.000 So sort of our last week with Ryan is 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Wait a minute.

00:56:50.000 No.

00:56:52.000 Next week.

00:56:53.000 Yeah.

00:56:54.000 Holy crap.

00:56:55.000 Ryan, next week is your last week ever.

00:56:58.000 I think so.

00:56:58.000 After 10 years.

00:57:00.000 Yes.

00:57:01.000 Wait, you already made that decision?

00:57:03.000 No, but...

00:57:05.000 If the baby comes earlier, it's been kind of scary.

00:57:08.000 She didn't go to church this past Sunday because if she moves too much...

00:57:12.000 Wait, why would an unborn baby go to church? 0.98

00:57:16.000 Well, it's what we believe.

00:57:19.000 Okay.

00:57:19.000 No, but if the getting down, the getting up, kneeling, all that stuff is like a lot of action, it causes her contractions.

00:57:26.000 And we don't have a sitter until like...

00:57:30.000 Mid this week.

00:57:31.000 So she's trying to hold in the baby a little bit.

00:57:34.000 So it could be earlier.

00:57:36.000 Could be earlier.

00:57:37.000 Oh shit, we should be banking shows the new.

00:57:39.000 Although Sean's brave enough to think he can do this.

00:57:42.000 Could you do a show 100% by yourself with Ryan dead?

00:57:46.000 Yeah, I think I could.

00:57:48.000 We're alive and not here.

00:57:51.000 And then what about wrapping it all up and getting it posted and all that too?

00:57:56.000 Yeah, I can.

00:57:58.000 There's some help, the tech guy and stuff.

00:58:01.000 I saw you got a lot of flack for our Sunday TJMS, which was 14 seconds long, but that was not you.

00:58:08.000 That was not me.

00:58:10.000 All right, so here's the dishwasher logic I was talking about earlier, 1-8, where they burn the flag of the place they want to stay in and wave the flag of the place they want to go to.

00:58:20.000 Shouldn't you just round up all these people?

00:58:22.000 Can you imagine if we were illegally in Tokyo?

00:58:26.000 And we kept bitching about the lack of English in Japan and then had massive demonstrations waving American flags and burning the Japanese flag.

00:58:37.000 Can you fucking imagine that?

00:58:39.000 People would think it was like some sort of weird art show.

00:58:42.000 Actually, you know what?

00:58:43.000 We should do that.

00:58:45.000 Wouldn't that be cool?

00:58:46.000 It'd be very expensive.

00:58:48.000 I wish Soros was funny.

00:58:50.000 We could, uh, it would probably cost like a million bucks, but you could get, you know, 200 people in Tokyo waving American flags, burning the Japanese flag, and talking about how we need more English in Japanese parliament.

00:59:05.000 Now that's a good gig.

00:59:07.000 Fuck America that I'm not leaving. 0.51

00:59:11.000 Viva Mexico that I'm not going to.

00:59:14.000 I thought this was interesting, 1-9.

00:59:25.000 We often talk about this one page in Pat Buchanan's Death of the West where he talks about how the West didn't invent slavery, the West alone abolished slavery, and slavery has returned to Africa to the deafening silence of the left in places such as...

00:59:46.000 Mansu Musa and Mauritania.

00:59:48.000 So there is slavery in Mauritania today.

00:59:51.000 And I looked it up.

00:59:52.000 I think you can get a slave in Libya for like 400 bucks.

00:59:56.000 Which is probably...

00:59:58.000 We should have done that to replace Ryan.

01:00:01.000 Lachland is a nice little village in the suburbs of Cincinnati, Ohio.

01:00:04.000 They were...

01:00:04.000 My school's main rival as a kid.

01:00:06.000 The town has now apparently been overrun by 3,000 West African immigrants from a place called Mauritania.

01:00:13.000 Look, it's so rare you have to...

01:00:15.000 Mauritania.

01:00:16.000 You have to put it in quotes.

01:00:18.000 And it's struggling to provide basic services.

01:00:21.000 Cincinnati has been overrun by West Africa. 1.00

01:00:26.000 And it's a town we know well from that Pat Buchanan page.

01:00:30.000 What a fucking joke.

01:00:33.000 And then here's the last one.

01:00:36.000 Are you allowed to run over protesters?

01:00:39.000 I talk to a lot of cops about this.

01:00:41.000 And they go, yes, you can run over protesters in your car if you not just feel that your life's in danger, but can prove your life's in danger.

01:00:52.000 And he also said, you know what, Washington or New York, this happens.

01:00:58.000 California, you're going to jail and you're getting raped by Chico, no matter what happened. 0.70

01:01:03.000 But he goes, Texas, you know, Florida, you probably could run people over if they jump your car.

01:01:10.000 So you kind of got to wait for the windows to break before you can hit the gas.

01:01:15.000 Go ahead.

01:01:16.000 You don't want to run over kids, obviously.

01:01:23.000 Get in, Yora! 1.00

01:01:26.000 It's like bullfighting.

01:01:27.000 Picking fights with cars with a big red flag.

01:01:30.000 I have a sandwich in my car that I've left there since Sunday.

01:01:47.000 It's Tuesday.

01:01:49.000 It's been cold out.

01:01:50.000 Do you think it's still good?

01:01:54.000 Yeah, probably.

01:01:55.000 It's never warmed up.

01:01:57.000 Yeah, it's been cold.

01:02:00.000 Alright, that was a dumb segment and not good advertising for our free episode.

01:02:03.000 I thought I had a lot more interesting things to say.

01:02:06.000 Let's have a brief look at the trans community.

01:02:17.000 I guess you gotta play the gay segment to justify this. 0.95

01:02:21.000 We've got about five little pieces to that puzzle.

01:02:24.000 It's pretty funny what they've been up to.

01:02:25.000 Why are you...

01:02:35.000 I felt ugly.

01:02:36.000 I felt gay.

01:02:37.000 And then we fell in love.

01:02:38.000 And then they eat their poo-poo. 0.95

01:02:40.000 And we have a very good relationship.

01:02:42.000 I don't like it.

01:02:43.000 You don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus.

01:02:46.000 You ain't gay, man.

01:02:48.000 You ugly.

01:02:49.000 Hold the phone alert!

01:02:53.000 Uh...

01:02:54.000 Here is a homosexual man with mental issues crying. 0.99

01:02:59.000 Not you, Ryan.

01:03:01.000 What did you get there?

01:03:03.000 Soup.

01:03:04.000 Our boy is sick.

01:03:06.000 I just made it clear.

01:03:07.000 It does not matter what you do.

01:03:09.000 You could get an eight ball of cocaine and a bottle of whiskey or a bottle of NyQuil and an eight ball of chicken soup.

01:03:17.000 Same duration.

01:03:18.000 I ordered it before you said that.

01:03:21.000 Look at this guy.

01:03:23.000 With his pearls on.

01:03:25.000 I love, the hardest part, this has got to get gay, the hardest part of this whole trance thing is keeping a straight face. 1.00

01:03:31.000 I don't know if I could do it.

01:03:33.000 Could you imagine being in that courtroom?

01:03:35.000 With all due respect, I urge you to either change your hearts or leave my community alone.

01:03:41.000 Thank you, and I urge you all to vote negation of this legislation.

01:03:44.000 Thank you.

01:03:45.000 Thank you very much.

01:03:48.000 Cheryl Saltzman.

01:03:50.000 And you're speaking for the bill.

01:03:52.000 For the bill.

01:03:54.000 Okay, stop.

01:03:56.000 Is my background gay?

01:03:58.000 No, dude, my background's still immigration.

01:04:00.000 Pretty gay. 0.92

01:04:02.000 Faire attention.

01:04:04.000 Now, they're saying normal legal jargon about why it's important that men don't beat the shit out of women in female boxing and female volleyball, and they don't completely destroy all female records in swimming.

01:04:20.000 But while they're saying this normal stuff that was unmentionably redundant 10 years ago, check out the Academy Awards going on in the background.

01:04:32.000 Now, I think the dude in the t-shirt is a chick, and I think the chick in the suit we just saw, well, I know the chick in the suit we just saw is a dude. 0.99

01:04:42.000 So let's see how they behave.

01:04:44.000 And by the way, they also do this thing where they chat.

01:04:46.000 As a fuck you to the court and to them.

01:04:50.000 The expectation of female-only spaces, including bathrooms, locker rooms, and designated female apartments.

01:04:57.000 Sean, always turn it up.

01:04:58.000 At some point, universities decided that women should no longer be allowed to expect female-only spaces without men.

01:05:05.000 It was very shocking to discover that a man pretending to be a woman was interviewed and hired as a resident assistant.

01:05:13.000 Wait, stop.

01:05:13.000 I just had a weird epiphany.

01:05:19.000 So, Tranny's like the guy in the suit there with the pearl necklace. 0.93

01:05:24.000 He's a gay, right? 0.97

01:05:30.000 No, he's a straight with an obsession with women.

01:05:33.000 So he gets his rocks off wearing silk panties.

01:05:36.000 It's almost like...

01:05:37.000 Silence of the Lambs, where he's like cutting off tits and putting them on his body.

01:05:42.000 It's a bizarre, sadistic ritual where you subsume the female's body. 0.96

01:05:49.000 But then who are you going to fuck? 0.78

01:05:51.000 Well, I think sexually you're satisfied.

01:05:54.000 So then you're with a woman who's like a tomboy. 1.00

01:05:59.000 And then you get to horse around with that and the genitals still work. 1.00

01:06:04.000 Conversely, This lesbian, I don't think it's as depraved with them. 0.97

01:06:10.000 I think the dudes, when they dress up as a woman, they're trying to get woman-ness and get into it and crawl into her skin. 0.72

01:06:18.000 I think when lesbians are a dude, they're just like, I don't want to be a chick. 1.00

01:06:22.000 I'm a tough guy.

01:06:24.000 So it's not like sexual.

01:06:25.000 It's not like they wear the Hanes underpants and go, yeah, I can feel my pussy on this men's underwear. 0.97

01:06:32.000 They just reject femininity. 1.00

01:06:35.000 So they can be with someone feminine and then still the genitals work. 1.00

01:06:41.000 So the impetus for the lesbian there in the black t-shirt is she gets to be with a sort of a chick, but they have working genitals. 1.00

01:06:50.000 Because we've all heard of lesbian bed death, right? 0.99

01:06:52.000 Where lesbians about a year into the relationship stop having sex because it's just a pain in the ass. 1.00

01:06:58.000 It's ironic that gay men don't stop having sex and it's literally a pain in the ass. 1.00

01:07:03.000 We're trying to understand this psychosis.

01:07:05.000 If only the Nazis hadn't burned all those tranny books, we might be able to understand what the fuck is going on in this bizarre mental illness behind us. 1.00

01:07:16.000 Anyway, go ahead.

01:07:18.000 Small, female-designated dorm suite with one small bathroom of my daughter and three other girls without consent, forewarning, or choice. 0.91

01:07:28.000 I could not believe our institutions that educate our young people no longer protect and honor the rights of women in these vulnerable spaces that women specifically sign up for to live, sleep, cook, study, shower, relax, and be sick.

01:07:42.000 This story of my daughter went viral online.

01:07:45.000 Millions of people were stunned that we now live in a world where the feelings and validation of a man pretending to be a woman is more important than a woman's right to female space.

01:07:56.000 And if they do not like it, then they must move out of the place that they have called home for months and start again somewhere new.

01:08:02.000 Okay, you stop for a second.

01:08:04.000 Men don't belong in women's spaces. 1.00

01:08:05.000 We're not asking a ton.

01:08:07.000 They always go, you don't want me to exist.

01:08:09.000 No, you can't be in the bathroom because there's little girls there and it's freaky. 1.00

01:08:13.000 I don't want you doing anything with kids at all as far as chemicals and top surgery.

01:08:19.000 None of that can happen.

01:08:20.000 That shouldn't bother you.

01:08:22.000 And changing rooms is a no.

01:08:25.000 Pretty simple, right?

01:08:28.000 Why are we crying all the time like it's the new, like we're rounding up the Jews in 1943?

01:08:34.000 It's a couple of things.

01:08:37.000 You know?

01:08:41.000 Like, say you had a big back tattoo of a swastika.

01:08:45.000 You probably have to be pretty careful about where changing rooms you use.

01:08:48.000 Okay.

01:08:49.000 Same kind of thing.

01:08:51.000 That's not the best analogy in the world, but lots of people, like Muslims, for example.

01:08:56.000 I've been to water parks where Muslims are at.

01:08:58.000 They've got to get a special bathing suit, and usually the females don't even bother. 1.00

01:09:03.000 So you'll go to a water park, and there's all these wet Muslims wearing their burqas, and they're like dragging around in the water. 1.00

01:09:10.000 That's inconvenient.

01:09:11.000 You've probably got to bring a change of burqa. 1.00

01:09:13.000 Not the end of the world.

01:09:15.000 You know?

01:09:16.000 Sorry.

01:09:18.000 It's not genocide.

01:09:19.000 There's no camps.

01:09:22.000 Go ahead.

01:09:23.000 Some girls have reached out to me to share their similar stories.

01:09:27.000 This is a void of common sense.

01:09:29.000 This is damaging psychologically, emotionally, and physically to women and sends a terrible message that they do not matter as much as the fantasies of a man. 0.88

01:09:38.000 This further damages the trust of parents and students.

01:09:42.000 This is damaging to women, but it is also extremely cruel and unkind to these men who have been falsely validated, welcomed, and accommodated into these spaces that they do not belong to and should never have been invited.

01:09:55.000 It does not show kindness to allow a man to believe he is welcome into a space that is actually making young girls very uncomfortable and may only choose to stay in fear of being labeled as intolerant or bigoted.

01:10:08.000 We shouldn't be here.

01:10:11.000 This never should have been allowed to happen.

01:10:13.000 The clear and obvious boundaries of female space should never have been crossed. 0.90

01:10:17.000 And I am very sorry to those people who believe that their housing is being restricted or that they are being Targeted or bullied.

01:10:26.000 This is not my intention.

01:10:27.000 It is only to restore a boundary that should never have been crossed I get some water is protect my three daughters and every single woman and girl wants to have the reasonable experience I'm not even listening the woman in the front I'm just watching all these gestures.

01:10:40.000 choice I think they love this shit what man when how and if she decides to live with a man period I fully encourage kindness acceptance and accommodation of the gender-inclusive housing that's already available at the college and would support any and all improvements to make the college environment safe and accommodating to all the students as Yeah, that's a new revelation I just had.

01:11:06.000 I think they fucking love the drama.

01:11:10.000 Here's an SNL sketch that's going around.

01:11:12.000 You may have seen this.

01:11:14.000 Pretty dark.

01:11:15.000 It also shows you how good SNL was before they started staring off at a cue card that's on the horizon somewhere.

01:11:22.000 But this incredibly dark humor is where we live now.

01:11:26.000 We live in a dark joke from the 80s.

01:11:30.000 Or maybe 70s?

01:11:32.000 Doctor, will this one need that operation?

01:11:35.000 Yes, I'm afraid so.

01:11:37.000 What operation is that, Doctor?

01:11:40.000 Well, well...

01:11:42.000 Every night...

01:11:44.000 Now and then, a little girl is born with a penis and testicles. 0.65

01:11:52.000 And, of course, they have to be removed and reshaped.

01:11:57.000 It's quite routine.

01:11:58.000 Five of our seven daughters have had this operation.

01:12:03.000 Doctor, what percentage of the babies that you deliver need this operation?

01:12:08.000 Oh, I'd say 48, 49, 50, 51 percent in that area.

01:12:15.000 Dr. Hofferts, can't you see what you're doing here?

01:12:18.000 I mean, the 48 to 51 percent, they're not girls, they're little boys. 0.97

01:12:22.000 You have mutilated over 2,000 little boys.

01:12:25.000 No!

01:12:28.000 No, they weren't boys.

01:12:31.000 They were little girls, trapped in little boys' bodies.

01:12:38.000 Isn't that fucking dark?

01:12:40.000 This isn't in the notes, but Tisha James has told NYU to continue Doing them.

01:12:45.000 I went to my optometrist yesterday to get new glasses, and he used to be so scared when I walked in.

01:12:52.000 He's mega, but he doesn't want to lose his business.

01:12:55.000 And he'd be like, hey, what's going on?

01:12:58.000 And then I get in now, he's like the N-word, faggot, retards, jumping around the room, everyone's laughing. 1.00

01:13:05.000 It was an SNL sketch, actually, and the massive difference, pre-Biden, post-Biden.

01:13:12.000 He was even making fun of me because it was aviators that I was getting, that I was buying.

01:13:17.000 And he goes, you look like Biden.

01:13:18.000 Ha ha ha.

01:13:21.000 Here's another, here's more proof that they love the attention.

01:13:24.000 Planning their escape.

01:13:25.000 I noticed this, by the way, I told you when Trump first got elected in 2017, 2016, I had two Jewish friends, Peter Cooper, the cartoonist, and Michael, the VH1 guy.

01:13:39.000 The fuck's his name?

01:13:41.000 He came up with the puppy bowl.

01:13:43.000 Michael Harrington kind of a name?

01:13:45.000 Shit.

01:13:46.000 Anyway, two Jewish guys, New Yorkers, born and raised, and both of them said, oh yeah, you have my back?

01:13:51.000 You're going to have my back when Trump's Gestapo rounds me up?

01:13:55.000 Rounds you up?

01:13:56.000 For what?

01:13:57.000 Being Jewish?

01:13:59.000 It's like, we're all too busy to care about you.

01:14:03.000 But look at this megalomania.

01:14:05.000 It's just really trans is just rampant narcissism. 1.00

01:14:08.000 With concentration camps looming in the United States, here's what queer people are doing.

01:14:14.000 Yes, I said concentration camps.

01:14:17.000 You can f*** MAGA.

01:14:18.000 Hey.

01:14:20.000 We are getting a go bag ready.

01:14:21.000 We are getting all of our documents ready.

01:14:23.000 So driver's license, birth certificate, social security card, passport.

01:14:27.000 Now, if you have to revert your passport and your documents to previously said gender identities that you were born with, do so. 0.79

01:14:38.000 I'm allowed to do so with my driver's license that says X on it in the state that I'm in.

01:14:43.000 I'm going Monday to revert that to my gender assigned at birth.

01:14:48.000 So, the next step, we're going to have a go bag with shoes, clothes for seven days, dehydrated food, think astronaut food, for seven days.

01:14:57.000 We're going to have $1,000 cash or prepaid credit card on hand.

01:15:03.000 And this is just for the emergency.

01:15:05.000 This isn't for permanency.

01:15:07.000 This is for a week of getting by.

01:15:09.000 Can you imagine the hysterical screaming if this actually happened?

01:15:12.000 As they're running with their go bags and tripping.

01:15:16.000 Falling and dropping everything.

01:15:18.000 And one of them is screaming, go, go!

01:15:20.000 And the other is picking all the shit that fell out of his go bag.

01:15:24.000 What a mess it would be.

01:15:25.000 That's why we're not rounding them up.

01:15:26.000 It would be too hysterical.

01:15:32.000 Off the grid.

01:15:33.000 We're going to have anything ready for the pets that we're taking with us.

01:15:36.000 So put some cat litter in your trunk. 0.94

01:15:39.000 Put some cat food or dog food in your trunk.

01:15:42.000 Make sure there's a leash there.

01:15:43.000 Make sure you have everything ready for everything that you're taking with you.

01:15:47.000 Make sure your medication is available and in extra stock.

01:15:53.000 So stock up on it.

01:15:54.000 Ask your doctor for a three-month supply at one time.

01:15:57.000 They don't do that.

01:15:58.000 Can I get three months of my OxyContin, please?

01:16:00.000 Have all of this stuff available and ready to go in a moment's notice for every single person in your family.

01:16:07.000 You do not need a passport to get into Canada or Mexico.

01:16:12.000 You just need your documents.

01:16:15.000 But that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a passport ready to go.

01:16:20.000 Wait a minute.

01:16:24.000 Wait a minute.

01:16:27.000 Video will be deleted and blocked.

01:16:29.000 So please boost this video with positive thoughts for other queer people and what you are doing to make sure that you are safe.

01:16:37.000 And being safe does not mean hiding who you are.

01:16:40.000 I am still going to live my life out loud every f***ing day.

01:16:44.000 But I'm getting ready to go if need be.

01:16:47.000 It says you do need a passport or an appropriate document.

01:16:51.000 I know definitely when you fly, you absolutely need a passport to get into Canada, but maybe driving, they might let it go?

01:16:58.000 I don't think I've ever crossed the border to Canada, which I've done a million times with just a driver's license.

01:17:04.000 And then here we have, even Tyler Perry is furious about all this, and he was at NYU talking about how the show must go on.

01:17:15.000 Shut this entire city down!

01:17:21.000 How?

01:17:21.000 Not on our watch.

01:17:25.000 Because what they will try to do, they will try to separate us.

01:17:28.000 They will kick the trans people off the bus. 1.00

01:17:31.000 What?

01:17:31.000 They're kicking the indigenous people off the bus.

01:17:34.000 What?

01:17:34.000 They're kicking our intersex community off the bus.

01:17:37.000 How do we know?

01:17:38.000 Our two-sphere plus family, they're kicking them off the bus. 1.00

01:17:40.000 Is that a metaphor?

01:17:41.000 A membership LGBT buzz.

01:17:43.000 Well, guess what, babe?

01:17:44.000 That LGBT buzz, it's not going to have any gas. 1.00

01:17:46.000 It won't have any tires.

01:17:48.000 Y'all not going any far.

01:17:49.000 Stop.

01:17:50.000 So it's a metaphor.

01:17:51.000 But he's talking about how the American government changed all LGBTQ plus whatever to just LGB. And that chick Arielle Scariella, who's a great follow lesbian chick, she goes, but if you're intersex, how would anyone know?

01:18:06.000 And LGB covers everything.

01:18:10.000 T is under B. You're good.

01:18:13.000 Go ahead.

01:18:16.000 Because we are a community that is made and has been woven with the fire and the spirit of revolution!

01:18:27.000 Revolution! 0.93

01:18:28.000 Revolution! 0.93

01:18:32.000 In his defense, when you're talking at night to a crowd of people, that's basically all you can do.

01:18:37.000 I've tried to be funny and be nuanced.

01:18:39.000 It doesn't fly.

01:18:41.000 What was the last line he said?

01:18:46.000 It's not that cold.

01:18:48.000 We should get to the...

01:18:50.000 I did want to briefly mention the helicopter, but we don't know exactly what is going on with that.

01:18:56.000 The options are...

01:18:58.000 She crashed into that thing on purpose.

01:19:00.000 She's a member of a trans terror cell. 0.99

01:19:02.000 Like, what are they called?

01:19:03.000 Viv?

01:19:04.000 Which Andy Ngo dug up.

01:19:06.000 I'm going to go with Ngo on that theory. 0.99

01:19:09.000 Total incompetence.

01:19:11.000 That's where I'm leaning.

01:19:15.000 What are the other options?

01:19:17.000 It was, yeah, the government doing it on purpose and wanting to sabotage to make Trump look bad?

01:19:23.000 Nah.

01:19:25.000 Now, we keep hearing she's a co-pilot, and she had 500 years' experience, but she wasn't a co-pilot.

01:19:31.000 I don't know.

01:19:32.000 I, uh, something just flew into my mouth.

01:19:39.000 Oh, a mustache hair.

01:19:42.000 It's looking a lot like it was incompetence.

01:19:44.000 It's looking a lot like it was DEI, and someone forced her in there because they pushed meritocracy aside.

01:19:52.000 And we saw, by the way, at the DNC, What it is like when you push meritocracy aside.

01:19:57.000 You see how complicated it is as they sit there going, two trans, okay, you have two women. 1.00

01:20:04.000 With meritocracy, you don't have to think about any of that.

01:20:07.000 The best pilot goes.

01:20:09.000 So, I don't know, go to 2-9.

01:20:11.000 It's looking like it was just...

01:20:19.000 The incompetence crisis.

01:20:20.000 Rebecca Loback was still in ROTC training in 2018. How is she flying government continuity missions?

01:20:26.000 I can't read that when it's not over on one side.

01:20:29.000 In a Blackhawk DC six years later as a captain?

01:20:32.000 How did she afford a $20,000 house, two years in the military?

01:20:35.000 I think these are legit questions.

01:20:37.000 Yeah, I've heard Metkin.

01:20:40.000 You know how it goes on this show.

01:20:42.000 I err on the side of incompetence.

01:20:44.000 Anthony errs on the side of evil.

01:20:47.000 I think the answer is somewhere in between, but it's good that we both hammer away at both of those.

01:20:51.000 Who's the guy who's running it all?

01:20:52.000 Go to 3.0.

01:20:54.000 Who's behind aviation?

01:20:57.000 Remember that guy when he was getting sworn in and Ted Cruz had a bunch of tough questions?

01:21:02.000 I didn't know the answers, but I don't run aviation.

01:21:06.000 What's he got to say?

01:21:08.000 Go ahead.

01:21:09.000 Hi, I'm Brad Mims, deputy administrator at the Federal Aviation Administration.

01:21:13.000 He was in charge of buses in D.C. or something.

01:21:16.000 We are looking for the best and brightest to join us as air traffic controllers.

01:21:20.000 We need a diverse group of air traffic controllers to bring distinct perspectives to handle the ever-changing aerospace landscape.

01:21:29.000 I'm calling on students and alumni from HBCUs, Hispanic-serving institutions, and tribal colleges to apply now to become air traffic controllers.

01:21:41.000 I don't want anyone interested to miss out on this amazing career opportunity.

01:21:47.000 Make sure you complete your full application during our application window.

01:21:53.000 The short application window ends on...

01:21:55.000 We also remember all that stuff about how the air traffic controllers are focusing on the mentally ill.

01:22:03.000 And giving them an opportunity.

01:22:05.000 Also, when they were listing all the mentally ill and handicapped people that they wanted to include in ATC, they mentioned dwarves.

01:22:12.000 I think if I was a dwarf, I'd go, I'm fine.

01:22:14.000 I'm just very, very short.

01:22:16.000 Right, Ryan?

01:22:19.000 Yeah.

01:22:20.000 It's not handicapped to be a dwarf.

01:22:22.000 Are you handicapped?

01:22:23.000 No, you have a life.

01:22:25.000 You have a wife.

01:22:25.000 You have two jobs right now, actually.

01:22:29.000 You're doing pretty good.

01:22:31.000 Two jobs, three kids, one wife, one guard, two lunches.

01:22:36.000 I was going to get to the letters page unless you wanted to add anything.

01:22:39.000 There's something specific.

01:22:41.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:22:45.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:22:51.000 Let me touch it.

01:22:53.000 So here's kind of a fun one.

01:22:55.000 My son wore the D.I.E. shirt on his school's news program.

01:22:59.000 He gave us permission to air this, right?

01:23:02.000 So we have a shirt here on the store.

01:23:05.000 If you go to the merch section, I think we're still allowed to sell merch as long as it doesn't say Proud Boys on it.

01:23:12.000 And six minutes in, the shirt says not D.E.I., but D.I.E., Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity.

01:23:20.000 So it looks relatively benign.

01:23:23.000 But if you're remotely perceptive, you see that we are saying that diversity, equity, inclusion is a great way to die, which is what happened with the Apache helicopter.

01:23:34.000 I'm 99% sure.

01:23:36.000 I will say, the good news about the whole Apache thing, not that there could be good news, but these investigators do a phenomenal job, and something as important as 67 deaths, we are going to get to the bottom of it.

01:23:49.000 They say they'll have sort of...

01:23:52.000 The first draft of what happened in a month.

01:23:55.000 But we're going to get the entire story.

01:23:58.000 100% guaranteed.

01:23:59.000 And it's not going to look good for the DEI people.

01:24:03.000 Did you find it yet?

01:24:05.000 Is it the chirp man? 0.99

01:24:07.000 My son wore the D-I-E shirt.

01:24:10.000 It's flagged, right?

01:24:11.000 Oh, there we go.

01:24:14.000 Yep.

01:24:16.000 And then you jump to six minutes in on the video.

01:24:18.000 550. I think it's his local high school.

01:24:23.000 That's cool that the high school has a recording studio that's nicer than ours and a TV station.

01:24:29.000 We didn't have that.

01:24:30.000 Did you have that in your school?

01:24:32.000 We didn't even have a radio station in my college.

01:24:35.000 Look at this shit.

01:24:40.000 Can't hear them.

01:24:42.000 Did you know if you got in yet?

01:24:44.000 Actually, no.

01:24:45.000 With being on the broadcast and all, I can't really check my email yet.

01:24:48.000 Gotcha, gotcha.

01:24:50.000 Maybe at the end of the broadcast I'll check.

01:24:52.000 Good idea.

01:24:53.000 I'm dying to know if you got him.

01:24:56.000 In case you missed it this morning, here are some highlights from Mr. Bell's morning announcements.

01:25:00.000 Don't forget that we are having a spirit week next week.

01:25:03.000 Look at the graphic on the screen now.

01:25:05.000 Can't look at it too long.

01:25:05.000 I think he's better than me.

01:25:07.000 It's bad for business.

01:25:10.000 Someone sent it.

01:25:10.000 We were talking about Mark Peterson, the photographer, and how he's a total hack and his job is just propaganda.

01:25:20.000 Blows out the flash on every one of his enemies and tries to get them, if they're like this, just even a tiny bit, he makes sure he gets that and then blows out the shadows.

01:25:35.000 He did it to me for Vanity Fair, and I hadn't seen this before, but apparently he did it to Elon Musk in Redux.

01:25:44.000 This one is just called Mark Peterson.

01:25:51.000 What is Redux again?

01:25:56.000 Oh, shit.

01:25:57.000 You want to make sure you get the one that comes from... 1.00

01:25:59.000 Wait, I might have to send you the original.

01:26:02.000 You know how your email scrunches things down?

01:26:05.000 What is that thing?

01:26:08.000 I'm going to resend it to you, Ryan, personally, and GOG personally, because the one that's in my email is...

01:26:17.000 Sometimes you're...

01:26:18.000 Yeah, my email shrinks things unless I set it to large.

01:26:21.000 Anyway, you get the idea.

01:26:23.000 Mark Peterson's a hack and he blew it.

01:26:25.000 No, actually, go back to your email because you want to see it sharp.

01:26:27.000 We're talking about a photographer.

01:26:30.000 And you should see this picture high-res.

01:26:33.000 Who is Jonathan Lemire?

01:26:35.000 I wonder if any of these authors see that they used Mark Peterson and they go, oh, fuck, man.

01:26:41.000 I wrote a good article and you turned it into...

01:26:45.000 Oh, he's at the Atlantic.

01:26:47.000 Yeah, so he's definitely on the side of Mark Peterson.

01:26:50.000 He loves this shit.

01:26:53.000 What a douche.

01:26:55.000 We didn't elect Elon Musk.

01:26:58.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:27:00.000 That's this guy's career.

01:27:04.000 That's his fucking career.

01:27:06.000 Lying with a flash.

01:27:11.000 And then...

01:27:13.000 Crust Punk merch pitch.

01:27:16.000 Sometimes I write out specific emails I want to get to.

01:27:21.000 And that's what I did here.

01:27:23.000 I was saying I want to do a bunch of crusty, it looks like super anarcho punk shit.

01:27:31.000 Crust Punk merch.

01:27:35.000 Wait, what's going on?

01:27:36.000 Oh, it won't come up because I didn't put a space in.

01:27:41.000 I don't know about this.

01:27:42.000 This guy writes in, hey Gav, a while back you said, did I talk about this yesterday?

01:27:47.000 I'm a tattoo artist, illustrator, former musician.

01:27:51.000 I design logos, artwork for local bands.

01:27:52.000 I thought I'd take a crack at it.

01:27:54.000 I'm open to suggestions for tweaks.

01:27:56.000 Let me know what you think.

01:27:58.000 I'll send it to you high res.

01:27:59.000 I don't know.

01:28:01.000 I don't think it's convincing.

01:28:05.000 What do you think?

01:28:06.000 I don't really like it.

01:28:11.000 It's too obviously kidding.

01:28:13.000 I want like crusty punks to see it and believe it.

01:28:19.000 Alright, now let's just get to the normal mailbag.

01:28:22.000 And that is here.

01:28:26.000 What is?

01:28:28.000 Instagram of the merch guy.

01:28:30.000 Oh, okay.

01:28:31.000 Tattooist.

01:28:34.000 So it's in archive.

01:28:37.000 And we go to the first.

01:28:42.000 Got an email from Rocky Dennis, who I mentioned earlier when discussing Back to the Future.

01:28:47.000 This is the star of the movie Mask, not the Jim Carrey one, but the 80s one.

01:28:53.000 Good morning, I met Sean, my father, after 21 years of life and haven't seen him in a couple years until one day he pops up on your show.

01:29:01.000 Awfully small world.

01:29:02.000 Please let him know.

01:29:03.000 My mother is absolutely going to get the back child support from him now. 1.00

01:29:07.000 Thanks, Rocky Dennis.

01:29:10.000 That's pretty cool.

01:29:13.000 Do you remember this?

01:29:15.000 Meeting your son Rocky, Sean?

01:29:16.000 Yeah, I was visiting my secret Nebraska family and I did see my retarded young son and I'm surprised that he knows how to operate the email because last time he didn't know how to do that. 0.99

01:29:28.000 So I noticed you've stolen my cross-eyed photos. 0.93

01:29:31.000 I've been doing that my entire life and I have the pictures to prove it, Gavin.

01:29:35.000 Well, we'll have to see them on Sean Day.

01:29:40.000 I'll look for them, yeah.

01:29:42.000 Which is coming up.

01:29:43.000 I dread that day very much, as do probably most of the fans, if not all of them, but thank you for thinking of me.

01:29:49.000 What, you don't want to do Sean Day?

01:29:51.000 No, we'll do it.

01:29:52.000 It's going to be great.

01:29:53.000 Well, this is a very open, there's no holds barred here on this show.

01:29:59.000 So, here's a good one we should get to about the terrorists.

01:30:04.000 We mentioned this earlier, that he's just really trying to scare Canada and Mexico.

01:30:10.000 To make sure the bargaining table has some edge to it.

01:30:13.000 This is what he does.

01:30:15.000 Trump is very combative, as Dana White points out when talking to Piers Morgan.

01:30:19.000 But this email is called Trump in a nutshell, and it has him discussing the tariffs, which is exactly what we thought it was.

01:30:33.000 All right, I hear a lot of nattering over there.

01:30:36.000 Hit it.

01:30:40.000 And I said, somebody said, well, what would you do?

01:30:42.000 What can you do?

01:30:44.000 So easy.

01:30:46.000 I'd drop a 25% tax on China.

01:30:50.000 And, you know, I said to somebody that it's really the messenger.

01:30:55.000 The messenger is important.

01:30:57.000 I could have one man say, we're going to tax you 25%.

01:31:02.000 And I could say another, listen, you motherfuckers, we're going to tax you 25%.

01:31:10.000 And I said, somebody said, well, what would you do?

01:31:13.000 What can you do?

01:31:15.000 He's a prophet.

01:31:16.000 Well, you're not really a prophet if you're saying you're going to do something and then you do it, I guess.

01:31:22.000 But that's exactly what is going on, folks.

01:31:24.000 I think what's really happening with Trump is we haven't seen a bonafide politician in this country since.

01:31:30.000 I kind of liked Clinton.

01:31:32.000 He was frugal.

01:31:33.000 He was like Ed Koch.

01:31:37.000 Was that his name?

01:31:38.000 The gay bald guy? 0.98

01:31:40.000 So we haven't really seen, you know, actual politicians being actual like Maggie Thatcher, Ronald Reagan type of real deal niggas. 0.99

01:31:49.000 And we're finally seeing it.

01:31:50.000 And it's confusing.

01:31:53.000 That's why you have people packing go bags.

01:31:55.000 Are you going to come kill me?

01:31:57.000 No, loser.

01:31:58.000 I'm rounding up illegal immigrants who are raping children. 1.00

01:32:01.000 Oh, so trans? 1.00

01:32:03.000 What?

01:32:03.000 No, you're fine.

01:32:05.000 Oh, okay.

01:32:05.000 But you said you don't want kids cutting their tits off.

01:32:09.000 Yeah, so you don't want me to exist.

01:32:11.000 What?

01:32:12.000 Jesus, calm down.

01:32:15.000 All right, that's enough.

01:32:17.000 Let us get to the final video on this free show, which is Tuesday, February 4th, 2025. So

01:32:52.000 I'm sort of holding back on the Apache crash.

01:32:55.000 My gut says it was DEI. She shouldn't have been there.

01:33:00.000 She was in over her head.

01:33:02.000 She panicked.

01:33:03.000 I don't think women should fly helicopters in general. 1.00

01:33:06.000 They're terrible at driving, as yesterday's guest pointed out.

01:33:11.000 Before we go, though, I would point out that...

01:33:13.000 Compound Censored has more content than you can shake a stick at.

01:33:17.000 It is all high quality.

01:33:19.000 We work hard on this, try to make you feel sane.

01:33:22.000 A wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.

01:33:25.000 And I think today's show is a pretty good example of what we provide you every single day.

01:33:31.000 I love Compound Censored, and I can't even watch all the shows.

01:33:36.000 It's $10 a month with the promo code GAVIN, right?

01:33:40.000 It's $12, but GAVIN gives you 20% off.

01:33:43.000 Why don't you try it for a month and see if you don't like it?

01:33:46.000 It changes people's lives.

01:33:49.000 And not just...

01:33:52.000 Tuesday's a serious political show.

01:33:54.000 Mondays we just goof off.

01:33:55.000 We help people put a ring on it, get married, have kids.

01:33:59.000 It's all about positive vibes here and improving your life.

01:34:04.000 We make fun of the left because we have no interest in bridging the gap anymore.

01:34:08.000 That flew the coop. 0.80

01:34:09.000 We're not just inviting them to Thanksgiving.

01:34:11.000 We're still available, but as far as putting out the olive branch, you kept breaking it.

01:34:16.000 So, no, we'll just be here if you need us.

01:34:19.000 You can continue with your lunatic go bags while we get on with our lives, saving this country and bringing back freedom to the Western world.

01:34:29.000 But this is actually a good example of that.

01:34:32.000 So, inexperienced broads. 0.98

01:34:35.000 Who crash helicopters is their world.

01:34:38.000 This is our world.

01:34:40.000 This is what we want America and the West to be.

01:34:44.000 Ready?

01:34:44.000 go.

01:34:45.000 It's the same old theme Say it's 1960 Eeyorehead Eeyorehead They're still fighting With their tanks And their bombs And their bombs And their guns Eeyorehead They're laughing your head off Why 10-15-5-6 They are dying

01:35:09.000 What's Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Soap, soap, soap, soap Eeyorehead What's Eeyorehead Eeyorehead soap Eeyorehead What's Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Soap, soap Soap, soap Eeyorehead

01:35:32.000 What's Eeyorehead Eeyorehead soap Eeyorehead What's Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead Eeyorehead tried shame, but as Buchanan points out, the time for apologies has passed.

01:35:52.000 It's time to enjoy the fruits of our labor, enjoy freedom, and enjoy the fact that the West is the best.

01:35:58.000 Until next time, folks, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:36:03.000 I'm trying to get inside my head.

01:36:26.000 You turn me upside down.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 04, 2025

S6E76 - THE HARDEST PART OF THIS WHOLE TRANS THING IS KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE

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