Goldie Ghamari - January 31, 2026


Goldie Explains Jihadi Pilates


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

120.85

Word count

1,553

Sentence count

65

Harmful content

Toxicity

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the names of all the imams of the Islamic holy arabic order. We also talk about jihadi jihadi ninja turtles and the jihadi exercise program that is going on in the Islamic regime.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 right here is here is um jihadi uh master splinter and the jihadi ninja turtles
00:00:14.400 so this is where armin would be like because he he knows all like the shia stuff right so they're
00:00:19.280 basically saying like ya ali ali was one of the imams i don't know which imam ali was um armin
00:00:26.320 knows the numbers. I don't know. Let's say Imam Ali is Imam number, I don't know, 47. And then
00:00:32.840 they say Imam Hossein, or like they say Yahu Hossein. I don't know. Yahu Hossein is like
00:00:37.780 Imam number, I don't know, a hundred. Oh, Ali's the first one. Okay. There you go. Whatever. Okay. 1.00
00:00:43.340 Thanks. Thanks guys. Thanks guys. Okay. See, this is, this is where we need Armin because I I'm
00:00:48.180 terrible at translating or, or explaining this stuff. Right. I don't know. Okay. So Ali's the
00:00:53.220 first one. I don't know. Ali, Hossein, Hassan, Mohammed. Like, I don't even know what the
00:00:57.720 difference is between them all. There's 12 of them. Jeez, seems like there's more, honestly.
00:01:03.200 Because they're like, there's like, there's like the 12. Oh, you like your burgundy miga hat.
00:01:08.560 Oh, thank you. Thank you for your support. Appreciate that. All right. I don't know. There's
00:01:14.000 12 of them. Whatever. Okay. Hossein is three. Which one's Hassan? Is there an Imam Hassan?
00:01:21.740 and then there's what like an imam uh like oli is there like a hassan kachal is there like a i don't
00:01:27.820 know oh oh there's the hassan oh my gosh hassan hossein okay i i honestly i just like randomly
00:01:37.100 put a name out there hassan okay so hassan is there all right what about uh okay let me let
00:01:42.300 me see if i can guess the other names no no no don't don't tell me the names i want to guess
00:01:45.580 their names so okay so there's ali there's hassan there's hussein do we have like an imam abulfaz
00:01:53.180 is there like an abulfaz or what about like an abdul is there like an abdul
00:01:59.900 imam abdul do we have that or like an abulfaz do we have like an imam like i don't know ainola
00:02:11.340 i don't know man maybe maybe they're all just named hassan and hussein and ali
00:02:16.460 i don't know anyways okay so all right let's go back so you guys told me okay so imam
00:02:20.380 so they say y'all ali ali is the first imam apparently and then they say y'all hossein
00:02:26.140 that's the third one y'all ali y'all say y'all say y'all say y'all is all oh there's a rizza
00:02:39.820 there's a rizza apparently there's like an imam rizza oh yeah that makes sense imam rizza yeah
00:02:44.620 there's there's a rizzo okay but guys so so this this here what you're watching this is the
00:02:50.220 original version of like that clip that um armin shared so this is like a this is a this is not
00:02:58.680 satire this is a real exercise video that's shown on islamic regime state tv yeah so you know you
00:03:07.880 know how like you wake up in the morning and like you turn on the tv and there's like you know
00:03:11.520 exercise programs on certain tv channels yeah this this is the this is the jihadi exercise program
00:03:18.480 i don't know what that was inshallah something about the world so like allah willing something
00:03:42.480 about the world i don't know durka islamic something i don't know man
00:03:48.480 and then and then they're also talking about zahra but zahra's zahra isn't one of the imams
00:03:54.460 because i know she's a woman so i don't know zahra is it's either like the wife or the concubine
00:03:59.480 or like the bastard daughter of like one of the imams i don't know which one but zahra is one of
00:04:03.940 them oh that i know what that is that's a salavat so he's sending like a salavat which is like some 0.96
00:04:15.800 sort of prayer to like Muhammad so now they're like during the exercise routine they're praying
00:04:22.460 to Muhammad sorry guys I'm I'm not as good as translating uh uh jihadi I'm not as good as 0.63
00:04:29.720 translating jihad to English because this is like literally not my thing like I don't care about 0.98
00:04:34.720 this but yeah so they're they're like sending some sort of like salavat is like I don't know
00:04:39.440 a prayer or something so they're like praying to Muhammad for something praying to Muhammad
00:04:45.140 during the exercise.
00:04:55.940 And then say, Bismillah, right?
00:04:58.100 Bismillah, in the name of God.
00:04:59.580 So then they say, Bismillah.
00:05:01.960 You know, it's like that verse in Queen, right?
00:05:05.720 You know, Bismillah.
00:05:07.960 We will not let you go.
00:05:09.220 Anyway, so he says, Bismillah, I guess in the name of Allah. 0.88
00:05:12.160 and then they're like then then they start their like
00:05:42.160 Oh, my God, what is this?
00:05:56.440 Go.
00:06:04.940 Go.
00:06:12.160 So, so this, this is, um, this is an exercise.
00:06:42.140 show this so you know armin armin showed like the um he showed like an edited version which had like
00:06:50.240 i guess the hokey pokey song on it you put your right foot in you put your right foot out so i i
00:06:57.300 was looking for the original um this is the original yes this is this is definitely like
00:07:04.680 this is like jihadi um master splinter and like the the terrorist ninja turtles so
00:07:13.260 this is like the yeah hokey pokey yeah so but armin had the hokey pokey song and then i went
00:07:20.860 and i found the original and i wanted to play it but then armin had to leave so now i'm playing 0.77
00:07:26.400 it for you guys um what's wrong with these people i don't know they're muslim i don't know what's 0.70
00:07:32.860 wrong with them. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I'm sorry. I cannot, I can't, I don't know. I 0.99
00:07:38.200 don't know what's wrong with them. But now you see the nonsense that we've been dealing with for
00:07:42.900 the last 47 years. Right. So, um, yes, this is, this is Hey Dad. This is Hey Dad Pilates. 100%.
00:07:52.120 This is, this is Hey Dad Pilates. So, but yeah, they, they, like guys, this is not satire. This
00:07:59.080 is this this is not made up this is a real this is a real tv show um and you have like an old man
00:08:10.040 who can like barely walk he's leading like an exercise and he's just like
00:08:15.640 yo ali yo hossein yo zahro aloha akbar jihad muhammad and then everyone's like following
00:08:23.020 along and then this is like supposed i i don't know okay look we'll watch it again one more time
00:08:27.720 because now i explained it so we'll just we'll just watch the whole thing and i wish this was
00:08:33.580 satire i wish this was monty python like i wish i wish but yeah this is this is well welcome to
00:08:40.740 the nightmare that iranians have have to deal with for the last 47 years okay i know please don't ask
00:08:46.780 me to explain why they're like this i have no idea not my culture not my circus not my problem
00:08:54.840 this is literally not me oh yeah i see the armin the armin shocked face yeah
00:09:01.320 that's gonna be armin's face tomorrow when we share this video with him
00:09:04.360 Ya Ali, ya Hussain, ya Rizah, ya Mahdi, ya Zahra, ya Zahra, ya Zahra,
00:09:27.600 Inshallah ke dunya wa akhirat
00:09:29.600 Az khat belazirunahim salamat fesim 0.97
00:09:31.600 La ahima salli ala muhammad
00:09:34.600 Wa ala muhammad
00:09:36.600 Wa ajjil farajan
00:09:38.600 Bismillah 1.00
00:09:57.600 like they're not even coordinated they're not even coordinated like are you so stupid 1.00
00:10:12.860 like are you like look it's honestly i feel like they just like took random people off the street 0.99
00:10:18.820 like just probably a bunch of like random people walking by and then the islamic regime probably
00:10:23.880 like pointed a gun at their head and like you come to the tv studio and you're gonna be part 0.67
00:10:29.660 of this like weird jihadi like heydar pilates class and then the people can't say no like 0.79
00:10:35.580 they're not even coordinated they're not even coordinated like look they're they're not even
00:10:42.760 like at the very least at the very least like exercise exercise videos people are coordinated
00:10:49.280 they're in sync they practice this is like this is just like i don't know they're just like doing
00:10:53.860 it on the spot i don't know man
00:10:55.620 Oh
00:11:25.620 What is that even supposed to do?
00:11:36.720 What extra five minutes?
00:11:39.120 What is this?
00:11:43.000 No.
00:11:44.840 No.
00:11:45.680 No.
00:11:48.960 No.
00:11:49.680 i i i they're not even coordinated
00:11:58.880 oh my gosh okay there there you go there's um there is your
00:12:09.840 okay i i will i will also add this video i will also add this video to um the iran revolution
00:12:19.040 live playlist i just you have to give me time to download it i'm also in the process of uploading
00:12:24.240 the mek one this this is the entire clip it's literally like a it's almost like a two minute
00:12:30.760 clip i don't know someone took it from tv this is supposed to be like an exercise tv show or
00:12:36.380 something i don't know man i don't ask me what this is i don't know i don't know why they're like
00:12:42.260 you know, saying Yah Ali, Yah Muhammad, whatever jihad nonsense while they're exercising. I don't
00:12:49.060 know. Don't ask me. I don't know any of this.