Goldie Ghamari - January 31, 2026


Goldie Explains Jihadi Pilates


Episode Stats



Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 right here is here is um jihadi uh master splinter and the jihadi ninja turtles
00:00:14.400 so this is where armin would be like because he he knows all like the shia stuff right so they're
00:00:19.280 basically saying like ya ali ali was one of the imams i don't know which imam ali was um armin
00:00:26.320 knows the numbers. I don't know. Let's say Imam Ali is Imam number, I don't know, 47. And then
00:00:32.840 they say Imam Hossein, or like they say Yahu Hossein. I don't know. Yahu Hossein is like
00:00:37.780 Imam number, I don't know, a hundred. Oh, Ali's the first one. Okay. There you go. Whatever. Okay.
00:00:43.340 Thanks. Thanks guys. Thanks guys. Okay. See, this is, this is where we need Armin because I I'm
00:00:48.180 terrible at translating or, or explaining this stuff. Right. I don't know. Okay. So Ali's the
00:00:53.220 first one. I don't know. Ali, Hossein, Hassan, Mohammed. Like, I don't even know what the
00:00:57.720 difference is between them all. There's 12 of them. Jeez, seems like there's more, honestly.
00:01:03.200 Because they're like, there's like, there's like the 12. Oh, you like your burgundy miga hat.
00:01:08.560 Oh, thank you. Thank you for your support. Appreciate that. All right. I don't know. There's
00:01:14.000 12 of them. Whatever. Okay. Hossein is three. Which one's Hassan? Is there an Imam Hassan?
00:01:21.740 and then there's what like an imam uh like oli is there like a hassan kachal is there like a i don't
00:01:27.820 know oh oh there's the hassan oh my gosh hassan hossein okay i i honestly i just like randomly
00:01:37.100 put a name out there hassan okay so hassan is there all right what about uh okay let me let
00:01:42.300 me see if i can guess the other names no no no don't don't tell me the names i want to guess
00:01:45.580 their names so okay so there's ali there's hassan there's hussein do we have like an imam abulfaz
00:01:53.180 is there like an abulfaz or what about like an abdul is there like an abdul
00:01:59.900 imam abdul do we have that or like an abulfaz do we have like an imam like i don't know ainola
00:02:11.340 i don't know man maybe maybe they're all just named hassan and hussein and ali
00:02:16.460 i don't know anyways okay so all right let's go back so you guys told me okay so imam
00:02:20.380 so they say y'all ali ali is the first imam apparently and then they say y'all hossein
00:02:26.140 that's the third one y'all ali y'all say y'all say y'all say y'all is all oh there's a rizza
00:02:39.820 there's a rizza apparently there's like an imam rizza oh yeah that makes sense imam rizza yeah
00:02:44.620 there's there's a rizzo okay but guys so so this this here what you're watching this is the
00:02:50.220 original version of like that clip that um armin shared so this is like a this is a this is not
00:02:58.680 satire this is a real exercise video that's shown on islamic regime state tv yeah so you know you
00:03:07.880 know how like you wake up in the morning and like you turn on the tv and there's like you know
00:03:11.520 exercise programs on certain tv channels yeah this this is the this is the jihadi exercise program
00:03:18.480 i don't know what that was inshallah something about the world so like allah willing something
00:03:42.480 about the world i don't know durka islamic something i don't know man
00:03:48.480 and then and then they're also talking about zahra but zahra's zahra isn't one of the imams
00:03:54.460 because i know she's a woman so i don't know zahra is it's either like the wife or the concubine
00:03:59.480 or like the bastard daughter of like one of the imams i don't know which one but zahra is one of
00:04:03.940 them oh that i know what that is that's a salavat so he's sending like a salavat which is like some
00:04:15.800 sort of prayer to like Muhammad so now they're like during the exercise routine they're praying
00:04:22.460 to Muhammad sorry guys I'm I'm not as good as translating uh uh jihadi I'm not as good as
00:04:29.720 translating jihad to English because this is like literally not my thing like I don't care about
00:04:34.720 this but yeah so they're they're like sending some sort of like salavat is like I don't know
00:04:39.440 a prayer or something so they're like praying to Muhammad for something praying to Muhammad
00:04:45.140 during the exercise.
00:04:55.940 And then say, Bismillah, right?
00:04:58.100 Bismillah, in the name of God.
00:04:59.580 So then they say, Bismillah.
00:05:01.960 You know, it's like that verse in Queen, right?
00:05:05.720 You know, Bismillah.
00:05:07.960 We will not let you go.
00:05:09.220 Anyway, so he says, Bismillah, I guess in the name of Allah.
00:05:12.160 and then they're like then then they start their like
00:05:42.160 Oh, my God, what is this?
00:05:56.440 Go.
00:06:04.940 Go.
00:06:12.160 So, so this, this is, um, this is an exercise.
00:06:42.140 show this so you know armin armin showed like the um he showed like an edited version which had like
00:06:50.240 i guess the hokey pokey song on it you put your right foot in you put your right foot out so i i
00:06:57.300 was looking for the original um this is the original yes this is this is definitely like
00:07:04.680 this is like jihadi um master splinter and like the the terrorist ninja turtles so
00:07:13.260 this is like the yeah hokey pokey yeah so but armin had the hokey pokey song and then i went
00:07:20.860 and i found the original and i wanted to play it but then armin had to leave so now i'm playing
00:07:26.400 it for you guys um what's wrong with these people i don't know they're muslim i don't know what's
00:07:32.860 wrong with them. Not my circus, not my monkeys. I'm sorry. I cannot, I can't, I don't know. I
00:07:38.200 don't know what's wrong with them. But now you see the nonsense that we've been dealing with for
00:07:42.900 the last 47 years. Right. So, um, yes, this is, this is Hey Dad. This is Hey Dad Pilates. 100%.
00:07:52.120 This is, this is Hey Dad Pilates. So, but yeah, they, they, like guys, this is not satire. This
00:07:59.080 is this this is not made up this is a real this is a real tv show um and you have like an old man
00:08:10.040 who can like barely walk he's leading like an exercise and he's just like
00:08:15.640 yo ali yo hossein yo zahro aloha akbar jihad muhammad and then everyone's like following
00:08:23.020 along and then this is like supposed i i don't know okay look we'll watch it again one more time
00:08:27.720 because now i explained it so we'll just we'll just watch the whole thing and i wish this was
00:08:33.580 satire i wish this was monty python like i wish i wish but yeah this is this is well welcome to
00:08:40.740 the nightmare that iranians have have to deal with for the last 47 years okay i know please don't ask
00:08:46.780 me to explain why they're like this i have no idea not my culture not my circus not my problem
00:08:54.840 this is literally not me oh yeah i see the armin the armin shocked face yeah
00:09:01.320 that's gonna be armin's face tomorrow when we share this video with him
00:09:04.360 Ya Ali, ya Hussain, ya Rizah, ya Mahdi, ya Zahra, ya Zahra, ya Zahra,
00:09:27.600 Inshallah ke dunya wa akhirat
00:09:29.600 Az khat belazirunahim salamat fesim
00:09:31.600 La ahima salli ala muhammad
00:09:34.600 Wa ala muhammad
00:09:36.600 Wa ajjil farajan
00:09:38.600 Bismillah
00:09:57.600 like they're not even coordinated they're not even coordinated like are you so stupid
00:10:12.860 like are you like look it's honestly i feel like they just like took random people off the street
00:10:18.820 like just probably a bunch of like random people walking by and then the islamic regime probably
00:10:23.880 like pointed a gun at their head and like you come to the tv studio and you're gonna be part
00:10:29.660 of this like weird jihadi like heydar pilates class and then the people can't say no like
00:10:35.580 they're not even coordinated they're not even coordinated like look they're they're not even
00:10:42.760 like at the very least at the very least like exercise exercise videos people are coordinated
00:10:49.280 they're in sync they practice this is like this is just like i don't know they're just like doing
00:10:53.860 it on the spot i don't know man
00:10:55.620 Oh
00:11:25.620 What is that even supposed to do?
00:11:36.720 What extra five minutes?
00:11:39.120 What is this?
00:11:43.000 No.
00:11:44.840 No.
00:11:45.680 No.
00:11:48.960 No.
00:11:49.680 i i i they're not even coordinated
00:11:58.880 oh my gosh okay there there you go there's um there is your
00:12:09.840 okay i i will i will also add this video i will also add this video to um the iran revolution
00:12:19.040 live playlist i just you have to give me time to download it i'm also in the process of uploading
00:12:24.240 the mek one this this is the entire clip it's literally like a it's almost like a two minute
00:12:30.760 clip i don't know someone took it from tv this is supposed to be like an exercise tv show or
00:12:36.380 something i don't know man i don't ask me what this is i don't know i don't know why they're like
00:12:42.260 you know, saying Yah Ali, Yah Muhammad, whatever jihad nonsense while they're exercising. I don't
00:12:49.060 know. Don't ask me. I don't know any of this.