Goldie Ghamari - December 25, 2025


PURE TRASH: My opinion on the movie 300 as an Iranian. Here's what the Persians ACTUALLY looked like

The Three Wise Men were Iranian Zoroastrians from the Persian Empire Pro-Tip from an Iranian: Part 31 (civilizational suicide)

Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

115.35

Word count

1,542

Sentence count

61

People

Also mentioned:

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged

Toxicity

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

21

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Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I talk about why I think the movie 300 gets it wrong about the history of the Persian Empire and why it pisses off Iranians. I also talk about how the Achaemenid Empire was the largest empire the world had ever seen.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 So a lot of you have been asking me about my opinion as an Iranian on the movie 300.
00:00:06.080 You know, that that movie where the Spartans fight like a horde of, you know, Persian demons or whatever.
00:00:15.760 Um, um, I can't even believe that I'm making this video, but you know, I'll, I'll make this video
00:00:34.120 one time I'll respond to it. And then you guys can just refer back to it or share it with anyone
00:00:40.240 else who wants to know um um I can pretty much safely say that you know on behalf of all Iranians
00:00:53.320 regardless of background or politics or whatever I can pretty much safely say that we all pretty 1.00
00:01:00.700 much think the movie 300 is utter trash like it's it's just complete nonsense like I watched the 0.99
00:01:07.760 video when it came out and I was just like this is so stupid and I mean I get it I get it like 0.99
00:01:15.040 it's supposed to be a fantasy movie like it's not an accurate depiction or whatever but the amount 0.98
00:01:21.300 of historical revisionism in that movie is utterly mind-blowing I mean like
00:01:28.200 just just thinking about it makes me angry i mean for starters xerxes was not some like half naked
00:01:39.480 bald savage with piercings and chains all over here's what xerxes actually looked like based on
00:01:47.180 this rock carving taken from persepolis and here's a historically accurate depiction of what xerxes
00:01:53.640 would have probably looked and dressed like. And no, Iranian women, aka my ancestors, were not some
00:02:01.300 half-deformed freaks with piercings all over their faces. Again, here are more images of Iranian 0.56
00:02:08.020 women carved into rock at Persepolis. Here's a more historically accurate depiction of what
00:02:14.440 Iranian women looked like in the Persian Empire. In fact, unlike the ancient Greeks, women in Persia
00:02:20.380 were in fact considered equal to men. Did you know that? Women in the Persian Empire could own land, 0.61
00:02:26.620 they conducted business, they received equal pay, they could travel freely on their own without the 0.99
00:02:31.980 permission of a male, they led armies of men, and women who were part of the noble family held
00:02:38.220 policy and council meetings on their own. But I'll talk more about that in a future video.
00:02:43.420 And for those of you who think that I'm biased because I'm Iranian, I actually found a video
00:02:48.860 that speaks about how the movie 300 is utter nonsense welcome to hilarious helmet history
00:03:05.980 the show where today's cultural historical misconceptions are even sillier than my helmet
00:03:10.700 300 presents us with sparta as the defenders of western civilization outnumbered by a galaxy of
00:03:16.540 despotic persian aliens its spartans are basically the men in black but for freedom out to save 1.00
00:03:22.220 democracy from persia's wacky oriental army of combat rhinos the cave troll from lord of the 1.00
00:03:27.020 rings and a harem of quadriplegic female sex slaves still you're yeah we we never we never 0.99
00:03:34.140 had combat rhinos i can yeah like you can you can take that one to the bank we never um we never 0.99
00:03:41.180 rode rhinoceroses into battle we're smart you understand we also we also didn't you know look
00:03:49.260 like that either like this this troll looks like he's from like he's an orc from the lord of the
00:03:54.240 rings my ancestors did not look like that and that that troglodyte isn't a realistic human from
00:04:00.320 ancient iran you understand artistic choices but frank miller and zach snyder's tom of holland fest
00:04:05.740 movie doesn't just exaggerate history it gets it backwards they kept telling you ancient spartans
00:04:11.000 fought for for our lands for our families for our freedom but the reality was two out of three
00:04:17.840 if anybody fighting at thermopoly represented freedom it was persia and this bit
00:04:22.340 do you know why do you know why
00:04:27.580 he's he's gonna explain it but i want you to think about that this is this is why this movie 300 0.52
00:04:36.140 pisses off Iranians. Again, regardless of our political background or what we think about the
00:04:42.780 current political situation, I can guarantee you that one of the few things that unites Iranians
00:04:51.160 all across the world is our mutual hatred and frustration for the movie 300, which literally
00:05:00.780 gets it backwards. And he's about to explain why. Don't take my word for it. He's about to explain
00:05:06.840 why. Anti-Persian trash talk coming from a Spartan. Run along and tell your Xerxes he faces free men 1.00
00:05:13.440 here, not slaves. Would have been awfully confusing to a Persian. The Achaemenid Persian Empire, 0.99
00:05:18.820 the one that invaded Greece twice, was the largest empire the world had ever seen. And other than a 0.94
00:05:24.400 few long-term POWs, they built that Persian Empire without slaves. They generally banned 0.72
00:05:29.980 owning other people. Whereas as a Spartan soldier, Muscles McGee would have personally owned a bunch 0.94
00:05:35.840 of slaves. Spartan society was a rigid caste system. The male Spartan citizens at the top 0.60
00:05:41.640 of the Spanakopita were legally required to be full-time soldiers. Since stuff like farming 0.89
00:05:47.060 needed to happen, that economically required Sparta's soldier men to hold slaves. Slaves, 0.77
00:05:52.540 they were legally required to beat. Persia's military had full-time soldiers too, but Persia 0.98
00:05:57.520 wasn't psycho enough to force every adult male into their army.
00:06:01.060 Instead, they recruited a military from across their empire, paid for it with tax dollars, 0.85
00:06:05.400 and ran it with a federal government.
00:06:07.180 That sounds awfully modern for happening 2,500 years ago.
00:06:10.580 And the more you look at ancient Persia, the more western they seem.
00:06:13.980 Their empire's founder, Cyrus II, was a multiculturalist.
00:06:17.260 He didn't force his religion on the many territories he conquered.
00:06:20.100 His actions even helped free the Jewish tribes in captivity in Babylon so they could go build
00:06:24.120 a new temple in Jerusalem.
00:06:25.940 That tolerance was revolutionary for its time, because Persia's imperial predecessors, 0.94
00:06:30.180 the Assyrians and the Chaldeans, tended to rule that region by skinning and impaling 0.94
00:06:34.480 people. 1.00
00:06:35.940 If you paid your taxes and didn't revolt, you were a Persian. 0.98
00:06:38.680 But if you weren't quite muscular enough of a baby, Spartans enslaved you, or cuck you. 0.76
00:06:43.660 And Persian kings like Darius I, who the 300 movies use as tyrannical props, sorry Darius,
00:06:48.880 were leaders who improved their dominions, building roads, refining bureaucracies, standardizing
00:06:53.240 currency and pioneering lots of good government work. Heck, while the Greeks and Sparta were busy
00:06:58.240 oiling each other's abs, the Greeks and Persian-occupied Asia Minor were building a wonder
00:07:03.100 of the ancient world. And don't worry, I've seen... I mean, do you see now why we Iranians, we just,
00:07:12.180 we get so frustrated with that stupid movie? Because it literally, it literally rewrites 1.00
00:07:20.020 history. It makes it seem as if the Spartans were fighting for freedom. Meanwhile, they were the
00:07:27.320 ones who had slaves and everything. And don't even get me started on the historical revisionism when
00:07:32.400 it comes to the Spartan women versus the Iranian women, right? Like I said, Iranian women were 0.99
00:07:38.540 actually equal to men. And yet in the movie 300, it's the Spartan women who are fighting for 0.93
00:07:44.780 freedom or, you know, whatever, even though they were actually considered second-class citizens,
00:07:49.640 just one level up above slaves. So now that we've established that the ancient Persians were not a
00:07:56.900 bunch of deformed, pierced, half-naked, ogre-looking savages, you know, as they're depicted in 300,
00:08:05.720 what did they actually look like? And what did the Persian army actually look like? Well,
00:08:11.420 you're in luck. In 1971, the Shah of Iran, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, actually held the
00:08:18.340 2,500-year anniversary of the founding of the Persian Empire. And one of the things that he did
00:08:25.080 is he recreated a historically accurate military parade depicting all of the various armies of
00:08:34.900 the Persian Empire starting 2,500 years ago with Cyrus the Great. And thanks to the foresight of
00:08:43.340 our beloved Shahanshah Aryamir, we Iranians are able to see what we actually looked like 2,500
00:08:52.240 years ago during the time of Cyrus the Great. Any historian worth their salt knows that the
00:08:57.840 ancient Persian army was not a half-naked mass of, you know, horde that just milled around
00:09:03.960 randomly. In fact, it was the ancient Persians who invented military units, the decimal system.
00:09:10.840 Heavy cavalry, siege towers, I could go on and on. So what did the ancient Persian army actually
00:09:17.640 look like when they were fighting the Greeks? Well, you're in luck because I used footage
00:09:22.080 from the 1971 military parade to make a short edited video for you.
00:09:33.960 Transcription by CastingWords
00:10:03.960 Thank you.
00:10:33.960 Thank you.
00:11:03.960 guys wait wait for the siege tower
00:11:33.960 Here it comes.
00:12:03.960 We'll be right back.
00:12:33.960 the ancient persian empire pretty much invented the foundations that led to modern military
00:12:47.720 warfare this is why the movie 300 really pisses us off because it's just utter nonsense i mean
00:12:53.320 if you want to take it as fantasy i mean okay fine i mean everyone knows that ancient iranians 0.84
00:12:58.240 weren't a bunch of ogre-looking, half-naked, pierced trolls. But I hope this gives you a
00:13:04.020 better understanding now of what ancient Persians actually looked like. And if you're interested in
00:13:09.700 learning more, let me know in the comments. I mean, maybe I'll do a live stream at some point
00:13:14.020 where I go over some videos talking about the historical inaccuracies in the movie 300.
00:13:20.980 And now you know.