Greg Wycliffe - December 04, 2020


If COVID was a Sales rep


Episode Stats


Length

4 minutes

Words per minute

148.20103

Word count

692

Sentence count

104

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how the death rate at our local hospital is at an all-time low, and how this is a good thing. Also, we have a special guest on the show, and it's not good at all.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Warning, this video contains morbid subject matter and coarse language that may offend you.
00:00:06.080 Viewer discretion is advised.
00:00:08.000 Alright gentlemen, let's get started.
00:00:10.260 Before we get into this quarters and this week's numbers, I got a single one of you out.
00:00:14.100 I don't like doing this, but COVID, we need to talk.
00:00:19.060 When we first brought you on board, we were pumped, okay?
00:00:23.020 You were killing it in Italy, you were killing it in Iran. 0.99
00:00:25.560 The numbers you were putting up in the States.
00:00:28.540 Good job, man.
00:00:29.420 Bravo.
00:00:30.200 Thanks, guys.
00:00:30.720 But recently, this past quarter, your death numbers are at an all-time low.
00:00:36.460 What's happening, man?
00:00:39.320 I don't know.
00:00:40.760 Need I remind you, COVID, that we've incentivized hospitals and doctors to pump up your death numbers.
00:00:46.980 A lot of your deaths could have easily just went to pneumonia and stroke.
00:00:50.880 Some of our oldest and most respected reps in this department.
00:00:55.860 If you want to be part of this death team, you need to perform.
00:01:00.460 Okay?
00:01:02.000 Like, did you see suicides this month?
00:01:04.040 Huh?
00:01:04.500 Hell yeah.
00:01:05.300 Yeah.
00:01:05.760 Fuck yeah.
00:01:06.180 This guy is crushing it.
00:01:08.700 This guy is crushing it.
00:01:08.800 Or drug overdoses.
00:01:11.060 Look at those numbers he's putting up.
00:01:13.140 This guy is going to have a massive year.
00:01:16.560 Let's fucking go.
00:01:18.100 Let's fucking go, you pussies. 1.00
00:01:19.760 Let's fucking go.
00:01:21.080 Even a murderer is getting his numbers up again.
00:01:23.300 Huh?
00:01:24.020 Give it up for murder.
00:01:25.220 Let's go, boys.
00:01:26.360 Let's fucking go.
00:01:27.160 You're too kind.
00:01:28.440 You're too kind.
00:01:29.340 Yeah, but boss, if you look on the news, I have a lot of cases.
00:01:34.500 Oh, cases.
00:01:35.500 Cases, cases, cases.
00:01:36.880 You hear that, guys?
00:01:37.660 He's got cases.
00:01:38.920 I don't give a fuck about cases, COVID.
00:01:42.460 You suck, COVID.
00:01:43.380 I want closes.
00:01:45.120 I want deaths.
00:01:46.760 I want dead bodies.
00:01:48.800 Fuck yeah.
00:01:49.260 Okay?
00:01:49.860 What an idiot.
00:01:51.700 We need people to be scared of you, COVID, because then we get lockdowns, then we get poverty,
00:01:56.560 and then we get the rest of the department doing their job.
00:02:00.280 Hey, COVID.
00:02:02.580 Fuck off.
00:02:04.100 Cases, cases.
00:02:06.000 You sound like the idiots in our marketing department.
00:02:09.120 Oh, we got impressions.
00:02:10.480 We got click-throughs.
00:02:11.560 We got cases.
00:02:12.600 I don't care about cases.
00:02:14.680 We need closes.
00:02:16.040 We need deaths.
00:02:17.380 ABK, baby.
00:02:18.920 Always be killing.
00:02:21.560 Let's go.
00:02:22.860 Yeah.
00:02:23.480 And COVID, if you don't do your job, if you have people doubting how deadly you are, you
00:02:30.440 might fuck our entire department.
00:02:33.360 And that can't happen.
00:02:35.320 Mental illness is already working around the clock to fear monger, to confuse people, 0.76
00:02:41.200 compromise their immune system.
00:02:42.800 Yep, yep, yep.
00:02:43.520 We're trying to keep you relevant.
00:02:45.660 You're a fucking loser, COVID.
00:02:47.460 I mean, I'm looking at some of the trends, and COVID, you're mostly killing old people. 1.00
00:02:53.480 Pathetic.
00:02:53.920 A lot of your deaths could have just as easily gone to the flu.
00:02:59.640 I fucking knew it.
00:03:00.800 I fucking knew it.
00:03:02.200 Fuck you, COVID.
00:03:03.620 Or good old-fashioned heart failure.
00:03:06.000 You're like a father to me, heart failure.
00:03:08.980 Fucking Nancy boy.
00:03:11.700 What happened, man?
00:03:12.760 I remember back in December when I hired you, you had huge aspirations.
00:03:19.460 You said, I'm going to have my own department, like abortions. 0.98
00:03:23.340 Yeah, right.
00:03:24.360 Not at this rate.
00:03:26.240 Not even close, bud.
00:03:28.540 Upper management's giving me no choice, so unfortunately, COVID, you're fired.
00:03:35.620 Good.
00:03:36.600 Good.
00:03:37.040 Pack up your stuff.
00:03:37.780 Get him the fuck out of here.
00:03:38.960 Wait, wait, what if I call my brother?
00:03:40.880 Let me call my brother, honestly.
00:03:42.320 Oh, yeah.
00:03:43.140 You have a brother?
00:03:44.860 He's flying in early next year.
00:03:47.340 Yeah.
00:03:47.700 Oh, no.
00:03:48.820 Another COVID.
00:03:50.400 No.
00:03:51.260 Yeah.
00:03:51.820 I swear.
00:03:53.140 Well, sounds good to me.
00:04:05.540 Cheetah.
00:04:06.900 I bust my ass.
00:04:08.960 Year after year at this organization, okay?
00:04:12.400 I have one season a year to make things happen and to get my numbers, and then all of a sudden,
00:04:18.660 just last year, COVID shows up, and he's being treated like some fucking golden boy.
00:04:23.900 It's completely ridiculous, okay?
00:04:25.980 He's stealing my clients left, right, and center, and everybody knows it, and nobody's
00:04:30.400 saying anything about it.
00:04:31.400 You know how he got the job, right?
00:04:33.660 His dad works for The Who.
00:04:36.620 It's a joke.
00:04:37.480 It's a joke.
00:04:39.260 It's a joke.
00:04:39.360 It's a joke.
00:04:39.840 It's a joke.