Human Events Daily with Jack Posobiec - EPISODE 462： DO WOMEN EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT？

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00:00:30.000 ladies and gentlemen welcome aboard today's edition of human events daily powered by

00:00:39.880 turning point usa uh today we have on libby emmons the editor of the postmillennial the editor of

00:00:48.180 humanevents.com my boss at humanevents.com libby i have a question for you not as a boss you know but

00:00:55.840 more of as a friend and someone who i think is is knowledgeable about certain things and maybe

00:01:01.260 that's my mistake for thinking that but um you know i look at these stories about the decline in

00:01:06.520 relationships birth rates are down dissatisfaction um in in youth the dating scene just seems like an

00:01:15.500 absolute mess here's my question here's my thing what is wrong with american women what is going on 1.00

00:01:20.360 explain this to me oh my goodness that is quite that is quite the question what is wrong with american

00:01:25.260 and there's certainly plenty wrong with american men uh i will say that as well so i do think that 0.93

00:01:31.300 there's a too much gambling way too much porn i think i think porn is a big problem um and i think 0.73

00:01:38.360 we've we've seen that so what is wrong with american women i think american women have absolutely no idea 1.00

00:01:44.020 what they want in life i think they don't know what they want in relationships and i think that they

00:01:49.640 are holding themselves to conflicting expectations and do not know which master to serve what do you

00:01:57.420 mean by conflicting expectations conflicting expectations so you have the expectations that

00:02:04.420 were laid out primarily by the feminist movement and the cosmo girl of the 1980s and the careerist of

00:02:10.920 the 90s and then the follow your dreams bliss of the early 2000s so we look at all of this and what does

00:02:17.540 that tell you that tells you that you are supposed to be powerful and strong and independent and

00:02:22.860 imaginative and dreamy all rolled into one and then you also have the expectations of creating a family

00:02:30.420 and being a mother and securing your home and providing security and having love and a foundation to build

00:02:38.720 a family on these two things are in direct conflict i have not yet met a woman who has been able to achieve

00:02:47.020 both though most women that i meet tell you that you can do it all i do not think that you can do it 0.99

00:02:53.260 all at all i don't think that's even remotely possible i saw an interview several years ago with

00:02:58.600 condoleezza rice who was the secretary of state under um george bush and who i think is actually a pretty

00:03:06.000 amazing woman and she was talking about her relationship with her students um when she was a professor at

00:03:12.780 stanford and she told her students that there are phases to life and you can have everything but

00:03:19.760 you can't have everything all at once and i thought that that was interesting as well um this idea that

00:03:26.380 you can have a career but you can't have a career and be a mother at the same time and valerie jarrett who

00:03:34.480 worked in the obama administration was also on that program and was talking about how she would not have

00:03:40.560 been able to have her career um in the white house while she had young children and that she was only

00:03:46.720 really able to have that career when she was older when her children had had grown up but but condoleezza 0.96

00:03:52.920 rice never married and had no kids that's correct that's why you have to take what she says with a

00:03:57.840 little bit of extra salt just so maybe even some msg right and well maybe and to be i'll be charitable

00:04:06.560 here maybe she was in in a sense trying to say um i i went all in too much and didn't set up see my life

00:04:19.880 as phases and i tried to just take one thing and put all of my emphasis into that and did not try to

00:04:28.960 balance it out to the point where there is a time for career and there is a time for family life she 0.97

00:04:38.260 completely obviously as we know and and for a lot of women of that generation i think as well just

00:04:44.620 completely eschewed family life whatsoever and you you see this um many of these these childless leaders

00:04:52.980 um that are around even today um who in many cases i'm trying to look up when was she born

00:04:59.340 she was born in 54 she knew some of the girls that died in the birmingham church bombing that's right

00:05:05.040 that's exactly right and she talks about that a lot that because she was she's from birmingham

00:05:08.480 um and that uh kamala harris is someone who okay so she you know she got married to someone who had 1.00

00:05:17.080 his his children but she has no children of her own um you can see you can see this in a variety of

00:05:23.220 examples hillary clinton just has one child hillary clinton has one child and so there is this this

00:05:30.760 sort of sense that the these the feminist movement and even even when you look at some of the the

00:05:36.960 biggest names that are associated with it they themselves do not have families and i think that

00:05:41.940 that's something where and and by the way i i say it on the show all the time and so for all the

00:05:48.060 ladies out there listening men are in an absolute state of shock right now a state of decline uh men

00:05:53.920 are totally messed up but that's not what we're talking about today because you know we spend an awful

00:05:59.380 lot of time these days talking about women's rights but we don't talk a lot about women's wrongs 1.00

00:06:05.420 you know what i'm saying what i'm saying i could i could give you a um an example from my life that

00:06:12.140 i've always found to be rather interesting my mother and my father split up before i was one year old

00:06:17.020 and i grew up with my father i lived with my father he was my primary caregiver i visited with my mom

00:06:24.660 i saw her um when they lived in the same city when we all lived in dc i saw her on weekends and

00:06:30.300 things like that i don't quite remember what their custody arrangement was but um my dad and i moved

00:06:35.760 to massachusetts where his family was from and my mom moved to new york city which began my um love of

00:06:43.720 that city but i only saw my mom on school holidays i saw her on summer breaks i saw her on alternating

00:06:51.040 christmas and thanksgiving holidays um and that's the only time i saw her family as well my grandma

00:06:57.460 my great-grandma um you know my cousins and stuff in brooklyn and my dad remarried when i was

00:07:05.120 six years old six years old something like that yeah so my mom was an attorney she had this amazing 1.00

00:07:12.660 career she had worked for the sec uh she's really quite brilliant and had uh you know worked in law for

00:07:21.640 her whole career my father remarried when i was six years old and remarried a woman who was 0.95

00:07:27.340 um the receptionist at his law firm uh fell in love with her and she was substantially younger she

00:07:34.160 was like 10 years younger than him and she really wanted to have a family all she wanted was to be a

00:07:40.740 mom she had wanted to be a mom her whole life uh she had you know i was around she took to raising me 1.00

00:07:47.820 she's the one who i can thank for uh making sure that i was catholic i was baptized catholic when i was

00:07:53.780 seven under her direction um and i was able to yeah take part in the church in a life uh a life of

00:08:00.940 sacraments which i'm extremely grateful for um my mom was in new york she was pursuing relationships 0.87

00:08:06.820 she had um not a ton of boyfriends but she had a couple boyfriends that i remember specifically

00:08:12.920 um and my stepmom it turned out was unable to have children so the woman in my life who most wanted 0.96

00:08:21.600 to be a mother was unable to have natural children the woman in my life who was a mother 1.00

00:08:27.420 eschewed motherhood i didn't really seem to want any part of it eventually she and my dad adopted my

00:08:35.180 brother um which i'm of course very grateful for and has informed my view on abortion a hundred percent

00:08:41.760 because i'm so grateful to my brother's mother but both of these women in my life considered

00:08:48.060 themselves to be feminists my mom and my stepmom they both thought that uh they were both relatively 1.00

00:08:54.360 leftist which in the 80s was fairly conservative anyway you know it's not necessarily like the

00:09:01.440 progressivism of today for sure but my stepmother fully resented my mom for having been able to birth 1.00

00:09:07.720 a child and then not raising the child and my mom eventually i think to a certain extent resented

00:09:13.500 my stepmom for taking the place of a mother um and there was definitely a conflict between what

00:09:21.940 these women wanted and what these women sought and they both looked at the other with a mix of

00:09:27.920 resentment and envy so looking at that as i was growing up i was proud of my mom and her accomplishments

00:09:36.640 you know she's this career woman she lives in new york it's like all of this wonderful you know she had

00:09:42.080 money and it wasn't until i had my own son um later in life i think i was 35 when he was born but it

00:09:50.820 wasn't until i had my own son that i realized what my mother had given up and how much i wish she hadn't

00:10:00.840 given that up and i started to have my own resentment about that which i don't think i had prior to that i mean

00:10:08.060 if you asked my playwriting professor from columbia he would say yes you were fully resentful of your mom

00:10:12.980 because he was always telling me that but anyway i didn't realize it

00:10:15.800 when you become a parent for the first time you you you look on your childhood a lot differently

00:10:21.720 and you you suddenly you see your parents in this whole other light where you know your whole life

00:10:29.800 you've been thinking of them as the people that are constantly boxing you in the people are constantly

00:10:34.760 telling you no the people who are saying you know why are you out so late etc etc and then you

00:10:39.980 realized that it was because they love you that much through that love that should anything bad

00:10:47.100 happen to you it would absolutely devastate and crush them oh it's yeah i could not it's horribly

00:10:54.000 destructive you think about on an absolutely frequent basis of something bad happening to your children

00:11:02.400 we have a obviously a biological and spiritual imperative to protect our children and so

00:11:08.100 you know i i remember like i actually i actually went to after after my first son was born i actually

00:11:14.940 was having just just those feelings and and was rethinking a lot of things and i went to my parents

00:11:21.420 and i said i just want to clear the air on some of these things and at times where i got mad at you

00:11:25.660 or times when you know i talked back when i was a teenager etc i'm sorry i'm so sorry

00:11:32.240 that and that's life right you don't you can't know you can't you know you can't know when you're

00:11:40.140 in the moment and you want to be rebellious and you know my you know me being rebellious is like

00:11:46.900 growing my hair out and um you know going to concerts in philly like that's you know probably

00:11:51.460 probably the grand scheme of things is not that much of a rebellion to be honest um it's actually a

00:11:55.400 commodity these days but you know it's it's and i've generally always had a pretty good relationship

00:12:00.820 my parents but it was definitely something that i went back and looked at and said you know what

00:12:05.620 i i get it now i i get it you know and um my mom said something once where she said

00:12:12.200 that uh i was like i can't believe you know jack jack's walking i can't believe you know i blew my

00:12:18.700 mind that you know this this this infant who used to just like sit in whatever spot you left him in

00:12:26.620 it was now mobile it had the ability to walk right it just blew my mind it was like super power

00:12:29.960 and then she said you think that's good wait till he starts driving

00:12:34.460 right and then and then it made me think it's like oh i see now so every time i got behind the wheel

00:12:44.800 you were you were scared something might happen to me and i yeah my son is 13 now you know it may

00:12:51.240 have come across as as anger but now i realize that it was it was no it's just you're like your

00:12:57.720 parents love you that much your mom loved you my mom loved me and it and it and she was worried about

00:13:03.540 me that's that's all it was yeah i mean and you're talking about something too where your mom had to

00:13:10.820 trust you right to do the right thing and had to trust that her parenting had been enough had given

00:13:16.800 you the tools that you need um to go out there and live your life and to make responsible choices

00:13:23.600 and i think when we talk about what's going on with relationships today we are missing a huge trust

00:13:29.840 factor that's so important and what we need is you know when you fall in love if you're going to fall

00:13:34.940 in love if you're going to fall in love and raise a family you need to trust that you are falling in

00:13:39.960 love with someone who is going to value your heart value your person value your offspring together

00:13:45.660 uh help you create a secure lifestyle in which to raise those children value your opinion all of

00:13:52.500 these things and i think also we have moved so far away from the concept of a traditional family

00:13:58.380 and this is someone you know i come from generations of divorce uh and i look at my life and i say

00:14:06.100 you know no wonder you're divorced like you come from generations of divorce how do you even know

00:14:12.040 how to put together a stable family my son asked me once how am i going to have a stable marriage if i

00:14:18.220 if everyone's been divorced in my life and i said well we're you know we'll work on it because i would

00:14:24.560 like that for you what you need when you fall in love like you need to trust someone to you need to

00:14:30.700 trust and we don't have a lot of trust among each other now and there's this constant idea that you

00:14:36.620 can just like uh spin off your desire and just oh i desire something else now you know let me go

00:14:42.940 pursue that it's so and that's exactly the wrong perspective we have disposable relationships and what

00:14:48.460 we'll do is we'll use these these words that i feel like we we never should have even started saying

00:14:55.980 these words in the first place words like gaslighting words like narcissism because every

00:15:00.760 single time i hear this i'll hear i'll say i hear this all the time oh my well he was a narcissist oh 0.54

00:15:06.620 well uh he was gaslighting me oh well you know he was this he was that it's like no i'm sorry not

00:15:11.300 every guy is doing that right but in many cases what you're doing is you're creating a false

00:15:17.300 justification in your mind so that your own decisions in retrospect your own decisions and your

00:15:23.620 own actions weren't actually the causes of the relationship to fall apart or whatever argument

00:15:30.780 that led to the race you know etc etc it's it's no it's it's it goes back to what you're just saying

00:15:35.740 right here it goes back to an underlying lack of trust and a lack of being willing to actually commit

00:15:43.500 to something because you look at what the words we use today for relationship that if you

00:15:47.940 i mean and everything right if you if you show earnestness at all in something either you're

00:15:53.780 either either you're being cringe or you're being a simp so and if you say i would say well i think

00:15:58.420 that's great i really like that oh you're such a you're such a simp oh that's so cringe right you

00:16:03.320 know and it's like well how do you have a relationship if everything is simp and cringe

00:16:07.200 the other thing is how do you have a relationship if you don't care about your promises

00:16:11.740 right so when you make a promise when you stand there before god and everyone and you say you

00:16:18.080 know i'm going to be with you this whole time if your promise comes to nothing and if you're willing

00:16:23.840 to let your promise come to nothing if you if you undertake that promise with the idea that you can

00:16:29.260 throw it away um as soon as your you know whim changes then that's not a promise um and that's a

00:16:38.020 you know that's a real that's a real tragedy i think the decline in marriage is a real tragedy

00:16:42.400 the decline in two-parent households i think is a real tragedy the decline in men feeling like they

00:16:49.240 need to lead a family and i think this is a mistake um we talk a lot about this in our culture we're so

00:16:55.800 advanced and whatever else they they shouldn't lead families men have been told they shouldn't be

00:17:00.080 they have and that is that's that's really such a mistake um i think families probably work best

00:17:07.820 when there is trust uh mutual caring when the promises are valued and when each person in the

00:17:14.900 family knows what their job is right like you can't go into work if you're not the boss and suddenly start

00:17:20.900 telling everyone what to do if you're not the secretary or whatever you can't go into work and start you

00:17:27.160 know mucking around at that person's desk everybody has a role to do everyone has a role to play

00:17:32.480 and i think that a man needs to be the spiritual leader of the family and needs to make sure that

00:17:39.800 his wife feels secure and safe and cared for so that she can take care of him take care of the home

00:17:46.920 and take care of the children without feeling like the bottom is going to just drop out underneath her

00:17:51.080 at any moment how can you raise a stable family how can you make sure that your home is tidy and cared

00:17:57.460 for if you're worried that the man hasn't been paying the mortgage but is telling you that he has been

00:18:02.320 or if you're worried that the man has been you know telling you he's going to work but really he

00:18:07.820 lost his job six months ago and he hasn't been to the office since or if you're worried that this man

00:18:13.080 who you have put all your trust in is actually you know getting it on with somebody else and

00:18:17.920 potentially bringing diseases home or fathering children elsewhere uh squandering your money squandering

00:18:24.160 your trust a man needs to lead the family and be strong uh man needs to make sure that his family

00:18:29.660 gets to church and in this way what he is doing is he is giving strength to his equal partner who is

00:18:37.600 the woman who has a different job right um and the man needs to provide that strength so that the woman 1.00

00:18:43.900 can provide strength for him as well women i would say you know i'm sure i would get canceled for this or 1.00

00:18:53.280 whatever but women want to take care of their man they want to take care of their children they want 1.00

00:19:00.220 to feel valued in that way and the way that you can do that best is when you know that the man is

00:19:05.360 taking care of you right when you know that things are stable when you have an understanding of what's

00:19:11.100 going on um i think that's really important and i think it's overlooked in our culture and i think that

00:19:17.060 you know i think that that's sad and i think it leads to decline go back to go back to what you were

00:19:21.300 like you were saying it is discouraged it is the strong independent woman the career the career

00:19:27.300 girl the girl boss that entire personality narrative gimmick agenda is is pushed because 1.00

00:19:36.000 at the end of the day you're not being independent and um and and career-minded what you're doing is

00:19:42.940 you're becoming you're going into servitude for a company you're going into servitude for another

00:19:49.000 organization and organization but here's the biggest difference and and someone said this to

00:19:52.980 me when i was when i was just going to actually said to me in guantanamo bay believe it or not

00:19:56.680 senior chief i had done there he said he said you know something one day the navy will just replace

00:20:02.960 you you will you will you'll work as many years or serve as many years you do in the navy

00:20:07.800 and you'll you'll have whatever great war stories and and different you know missions and and things

00:20:14.340 that that happen and uh you know got some good ones and that at the but at the end of the day

00:20:21.080 they'll give you a gold watch they'll give you a nice lunch and then they'll and then you'll walk

00:20:26.620 away and they'll find someone else to warm your seat and what does it say that we have replaced the

00:20:32.680 terms husband and wife with the term partner and instead we're like it's a law firm opposite right

00:20:39.380 and but we're also not encouraging a partnership we're encouraging two people to walk parallel next

00:20:45.440 to each other that's right as if it's interchangeable and it's not interchangeable at all no your family

00:20:52.040 family is what is there for you at the end of day at the end of your life your family is what is there

00:20:57.740 for you to to tuck you in to be with you in the morning to be with you in the small hours to

00:21:04.040 through thick and thin and if you so believe as i know you and i do that in in the afterlife your

00:21:11.480 family is what you take with you it's not your money it's not your possessions not your material goods

00:21:17.320 it is it is the people and the love that you that you make in this world and specifically your family

00:21:24.080 really only your family uh and and hopefully and as as a dad you know i think as well not only do

00:21:30.060 i have to get my kids through this world i have to get into the next one and well my family get my

00:21:33.480 whole family into the next one so it's it's it's you know it's a lot it's a lot but at the same time

00:21:39.380 if you if you run away from that if you run away from it you you're losing something and that's why

00:21:48.140 i don't know we're sort of at the end here but we had that story recently where there was that dad

00:21:53.200 down in north carolina with there were this crazy crazy guy down the street started opening fire at

00:21:57.960 his family and the little girl poor little girl six years she was i guess a piece of a bullet fragment

00:22:06.040 i guess grazed her cheek so she had to get stitches there the mom i think something in her arm but what

00:22:12.320 the mother had said was that the dad ran down the street and put himself this is william white is his

00:22:19.220 name and is we've we've been sharing out his gofundme i did verify with the family that this is real

00:22:23.760 he ran down the street put himself in the line of fire used his body as a shield and took

00:22:32.780 it's unclear it was one or two shots in the back that were intended for his daughter no one forced him

00:22:40.100 to do that nobody was was you know hey hey bill you got to go do that no no you know what you have

00:22:47.840 to do yeah i have mad respect for that guy that's what dad they're supposed to do you know what they

00:22:56.160 say um gene hackman has an old quote he said uh what's what's the difference between a hero and a coward

00:23:01.500 one step sideways oh ouch and that's an old quote but it literally applies in this case

00:23:09.760 that a coward one step sideways you took that one step sideways your your daughter 0.66

00:23:16.060 she's gone yeah and then how do you live with yourself you can't live with yourself after that 0.99

00:23:22.320 no no so i mean uh you know i've said it before i'll say it again that when it comes to your family

00:23:28.420 and that's when in the bible it says

00:23:33.280 it says women women must must follow their husbands right so it says that men is the leader 0.99

00:23:40.400 but then it also says that men love men must love their their their wives leave their families and

00:23:47.100 cleave to their wives and then love the families as jesus loved the church and what did jesus do

00:23:52.340 sacrifice himself yeah whole mass all of it it's all sacrifice and so what it was telling fathers is

00:23:58.840 that hey this is part of the deal that if that check comes one day this is part of the deal

00:24:05.200 libby emmons final words before we sign off on this fantastic episode

00:24:09.500 despite all the madness trust vulnerability partnership and marriage and raising a family

00:24:16.380 is worth it and it's better than a career

00:24:18.360 amen libby emmons of the postmillennial human events.com make sure you go follow her sign up for

00:24:24.680 the ad free option it's only a couple of bucks a month after you have subscribed to human events

00:24:29.560 daily here on apple spotify rumble wherever you get your podcasts ladies and gentlemen as always you

00:24:33.520 have my permission to lay short

Human Events Daily with Jack Posobiec - May 04, 2023

EPISODE 462： DO WOMEN EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT？

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