THOUGHTCRIME Ep. 72 — Self-Sterilizing Libs? 2032 Armageddon? Worst Super Bowl Ever?
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 7 minutes
Words per Minute
174.28954
Summary
Tyler, Jack, and Blake discuss why the Eagles should cheer for the Chiefs in Super Bowl LIV. They also discuss if the Eagles are the MAGA team of the NFL and whether or not the Chiefs are the team of MAGA.
Transcript
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DNSX specifically targets the communications of everyone.
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Okay, everybody, welcome to this Thought Crime Thursday.
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Lots happening, and we are going to dive into so much of the news here.
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And our first topic is going to be about the Super Bowl.
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Jack, tell us why we should cheer for the Eagles, of which I find I just,
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I want both teams to lose miserably and for it to end in a perpetual tie.
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Yeah, well, you know, look, first of all, everyone likes to go with a winner.
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So if you want to back the winning team, you're going to go with the Eagles.
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I mean, that's the most obvious answer right there.
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And by the way, as an Eagles fan, I'm not used to having so many people on my side,
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I've been having people come up to me all week or all the last two weeks really saying,
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look, man, I'm not an Eagles fan, but I want Kansas City to lose so bad
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People are sick of the way the NFL has been bending the rules.
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People are sick of the way that there's clearly all this marketing going into Kansas City,
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the whole Kelsey brothers thing that's absolutely stale.
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So, you know, I'm evil in admitting it's cringe, even though it's, you know, possibly to my own detriment.
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And obviously, like, we don't need to talk about what happened with me and Taylor Swift last year.
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But it's tamped down from where it was a year ago.
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And so people, I think, are just sick of it, and people are looking for a change.
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And so that's what you get when you go with the Eagles.
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You go with a group of people that actually fight, that actually stand up for themselves,
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that don't take any crap and don't care what other people say about them
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because they're about what they're being about.
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It's actually very similar to MAGA in a lot of ways.
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Do not compare the Philadelphia Eagles to MAGA.
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Yeah, I mean, I've been one of the loudest voices in MAGA from the very start.
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I just throw this segment into the trash bin and just shred it.
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There's just been literally the exact same narrative from day one.
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You're making me want to cheer for the Chiefs now.
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I think the problem that we're going to get here is, like, so the 2017 Super Bowl
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where the Pats beat the Falcons, that kind of made it so that the Pats were kind of the MAGA team.
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And then the thing is, is that the Eagles then beat them the following year.
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If the Eagles beat the MAGA team of the NFL, I don't think we can say the Eagles are the MAGA team today.
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There are some inside information that I have about certain players that are on the Eagles
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And I'm not going to put that out because it's not my information to put out.
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I was not given liberty to repeat that information.
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Like, being loyal, not stabbing his friends in the back.
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Wait, you're saying that a Philadelphia Eagles fan is going to not stab somebody?
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No, it's pretty bad because we basically got the Super Bowl from hell.
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Because I think of all 14 teams that were in the NFL playoffs,
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I think this had to be the matchup I wanted least, you wanted least,
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except for Jack and the handful of people he's not going to stab,
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So that's, you know, that stadium has seen better days.
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I guess, like, the only winning thing we have out of the Super Bowl
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is they did get rid of the end racism thing in the end zone.
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They'll still have kind of dumb-sounding lectures,
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but they're going with, like, it takes all of...
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They're doing the generic ones that sound like they're from a Power Rangers episode
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in the 1990s, as opposed to the extremely, like, militant Maoist ones.
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So we'll count the win there, but I feel like I'm just going to be...
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This is a Super Bowl that will be inflicted upon me, as opposed to one that I will enjoy.
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It never actually occurred to me that no sitting president
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I saw that news going around, and I didn't take the time to check,
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but it's like, well, because you always see the president, you know,
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or prior to Biden, you would usually see the president
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So I guess in my head, I would always associate the president
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and the Super Bowl, but I didn't realize that no one had actually attended.
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Obviously, I can understand for security purposes
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why you might not want to do that, but it just...
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It just seems like something that a president would have gone to.
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She was, like, one of the first people to mention that,
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and she had kind of broken it and had got it out there pretty early.
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But it's crazy because a lot of presidents have played football.
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Like, a lot of presidents have played football,
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Richard Nixon did suggest a play to run in the Super Bowl.
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I believe it was a flanker reverse he proposed.
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Teddy Roosevelt's responsible for the forward pass.
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There's, like, all this football lore with presidents.
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Gerald Ford could have been a professional football player,
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but he decided to go become president, which is not as cool.
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He got offered to play for the Lions and the Packers.
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Did you know we had an NFL player ended up on the Supreme Court?
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He was on the Supreme Court from, like, the, I think, late 60s through the 90s.
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And he was the last base Democrat on the court, I think.
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So he was the Democrat, but he voted against Roe v. Wade.
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I wish he could have picked a better Super Bowl to go to,
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But the other great thing about Trump going to the Super Bowl is he's,
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there is that very niche item that he wants to get rid of tax benefits enjoyed.
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he's very angry at the left-wing sports team owners who denounced him in his first term
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and the way the sports leagues did all of that sort of.
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And we should just have Trump issue an executive order that's like,
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taxpayer money can't be used to build these stadiums anymore.
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But that might put me in conflict with a lot of people.
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I think if they get rid of trans night, I think they can have their tax breaks back.
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Only the Texas Rangers are allowed to get taxpayer funding
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because they were the only MLB team to not do all of the pride fund stuff.
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They would, every year for three or four years in a row,
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we'd get this two-minute hate on the Texas Rangers
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because they would not do this pride night thing during the MLB season.
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So it's been a wild ride for Eagles fans this year.
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You know, you had Poso going to Eagles jail a couple,
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just a couple of weeks ago here, right before the election.
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You've got Donald Trump going red, Pennsylvania going red for Trump.
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Kamala Harris, of course, holding her very last rally slash concert,
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these weird things, in Philadelphia the night before the election.
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for, like, the very tail end of whatever we were calling it
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where the Eagles parade gets to march down Broad Street
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is really, it's just going to be the coup de grace.
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It's going to be the coup de grace of this entire season.
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And if you recall, which team won the Super Bowl
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It was the Philly, Philly, and the Philadelphia Eagles
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as a Cowboys fan, I will never support the Eagles,
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I tried to do that when the Patriots played the Rams
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so I thought, everything's worked out perfectly.
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I could avoid learning who wins the Super Bowl,
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that told me the Patriots had won the Super Bowl,
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I don't think they're allowed to win the Super Bowl.
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he had this idea that an energy-backed currency
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it's the most secure network the world has ever seen
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Philly loses depending on the loss it's it would
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there's always this thing where people you know kids go and climb the poles on like
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the street poles on Broad Street when they win or if they own the Phillies won the
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World Series or something and there was a kid who went to temple so my school and
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there was this viral video of this kid falling off of one of the like like these
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these street poles you know after the FDN FC victory the other day like two
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weeks ago and then it later came out that the kid died and 18 years old and you
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know screwing around after an Eagles game and it's I don't know it just it just
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made me feel kind of weird watching those videos going through and like I
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posted that video and I didn't realize there was a kid dying so guys don't
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don't do that be be smart you know support your team you know I'm a birds fan my
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whole life but you know be be smart it's it's not worth losing everything over so
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go birds but yeah be be be smart make good choices
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all right let's see what happens no matter what America loses with this Super
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Bowl thanks guys so much till next week keep committing thought crimes
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subscribe to our respective podcasts God bless you guys talk to you soon