The other side of the MAID debate (Ft. Kiano Vafaien)
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 6 minutes
Words per minute
118.19991
Harmful content
Misogyny
4
sentences flagged
Hate speech
2
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, Rupa speaks with 23-year-old Keanu Wafayan, who was denied medical assistance in dying (MAID) after being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at the age of 4. Keanu was scheduled to die on September 21st, 2022, but his mother, Margaret Marcilla, stepped in and forced the doctor involved to back out of the procedure.
Transcript
00:00:18.480
My name is Rupa Subramania and welcome to the Rupa Subramania show.
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Today, we're going to talk about an important and for many, a very emotional subject.
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Canada's ever more permissive laws on physician assisted suicide called MAID,
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which stands for medical assistance in dying. Our laws here in Canada are way more permissive
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than most other Western countries. And they could get expanded even further. That would include
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mental illness as the sole underlying condition. And one day even to mature minors. I wrote about
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MAID last fall for the free press. In the story, I spoke to several individuals
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who are contemplating MAID. One of the most compelling stories I heard was from 23-year-old
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Keanu Wafayan, who was seeking MAID as he was suffering from type 1 diabetes and vision loss.
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He was approved for MAID and scheduled to die September 21st, 2022. That is,
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until his mother, Margaret Marcilla, intervened. Keanu's sister, who had been helping him check
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his emails because he couldn't see very well, discovered that Keanu had applied and had been
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approved for MAID. She passed on this information to his mother, who confronted the doctor who was
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going to perform the procedure. Margaret Marcilla then took to social media and the resulting backlash
1.00
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prompted the doctor involved to back out completely. This is why Keanu is alive today. To talk about
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what's going on with Keanu, where he finds himself, and what he hopes for the future, it's my pleasure
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to welcome Keanu Wafayan today to the show. Hi Keanu, welcome to the show. It's a real pleasure to speak
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with you. It's great to have you here on the show. Let me just first start by asking Keanu, how are
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things going with you? How do you feel these days? I still have a lot of pain in my eyes, both my eyes.
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My vision in my right eye, which has very little to see, is actually getting worse because of the silicone
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oil inserted. I'm not so hopeful on my eyesight getting any better, and I'm not so hopeful with my
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diabetes getting any better. I've been doing the bare minimum just to get by, and I've been waiting
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for another chance at medical assistance in dying. Keanu, before we get to that, could you tell our
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viewers and our listeners, what are the medical conditions that you're battling or you've been
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battling your whole life? Well, I have type 1 diabetes, and that's been for two decades now.
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I was diagnosed at 4, and I just turned 24 yesterday on the 14th of March.
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I take insulin injections daily and with every meal I have, so I try to reduce my meals to once a day to
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limit my injections. I've made that schedule so that I experience less pain, as little pain as possible
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when taking my insulin as well. My nerve damage in the endings of my hands and the feet, especially in
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the wintertime, is very painful when it's very sensitive to the cold. When I go outside, I don't
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really feel that it's getting bad. It's really cold. I don't feel that, but as soon as I get inside, it's
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just severe pain from the temperature change. With my eyes, with respect to that, I've had severe
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retinal detachment in both of my eyes from diabetic retinopathy, and after doing surgery to reattach the
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retinas. In my left eye, it failed to reattach the retina. The doctors failed because there was so much
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scar tissue, and in my right eye, they managed to reattach the retina, which is being bound by silicone
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oil, and that does blur my vision because the lens is being viewed through that silicone oil,
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and the doctor said when the retina is able to hold its own, they can remove it. They may be able to
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remove it, which would increase my vision. However, after the year mark of my surgery,
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the doctors evaluated it's not ready to hold its own. We can't remove the silicone oil,
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or as it could result in more detachment. With respect to the left eye, as it does not have any function,
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I experienced neovascular glaucoma. That is when new vessels form in parts of the eye
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are caused by diabetic retinopathy. But because the retina is not attached properly, and there is a
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lack of oxygen and blood to the eye, it makes it very difficult for the eye to properly drain, which
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results in an increased pressure from the blood vessels, the new vessels being formed in those
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drainage parts. So as a result of that, I was prescribed monthly eye injections to neutralize
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those new vessels formed. And I also am prescribed different eye drops, four different types of eye
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drops that I take, take about a dozen eye drops per day to manage the pain and symptoms of glaucoma,
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which is increased pressure, as well as using medicinal cannabis to combat the side effects of those eye
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drops, which cause nausea, causes a disfeasurable taste in my mouth, causes decreased appetite from that
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just icky feeling, sensitivity to light, although I have no perception in the AI. So
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all in all, the eye serves no purpose, but is causing all this damage. So it was recommended to remove
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the eye. But that detaches me from having some sort of normalcy to my journey, and being able to
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play off as if my eyes are functioning, and I'm a normal functioning human being, and no one can really
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tell from a first glance that I suffer from vision loss.
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How old were you, Keanu, when you first started to experience vision loss?
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I believe when we spoke for my story last fall, I believe the vision loss started with your left eye,
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if I remember that correctly. How old were you when this started to happen?
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And how did it affect, how did it, how did it, you know, your life obviously just drastically change
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suddenly? And how did that, how can you tell us what was going through you? What was going through
00:08:26.240
Yes, well, I first had prescription eyeglasses at a young age in elementary school, but the,
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the actual vision loss, which prompted a drastic change in my, in my daily activities, my abilities
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to live independently was at the age of 21. I, I experienced, I think it was
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June of 2021, when I had a floater, where there was a hemorrhage in my retina, and blood started to leak in
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my lens. So for me, it looked like, I called it a dancing lady, a red dancing lady in my vision.
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But no one could actually see from the outside. So it was very hard to address it. I was actually very
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embarrassed to say the least. At first, it was very troubling to wake up and see that floater. I, I
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thought it was my eyelashes in the way. So I'm constantly trying to move my eyelashes and look in
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the mirror. No, so flustered. Then I was prescribed laser treatment for my eyes, which would have been
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five treatments on each eye to neutralize those new vessels being formed from diabetic retinopathy.
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It would decrease my night vision and peripheral vision. However, I only attended for two of those
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treatments, one on each eye, which resulted in extreme pain. To say the least, I was, I was petrified
00:10:29.120
of the whole experience of smelling the residue from the laser into my eye. And it was so discomforting to
00:10:38.960
have the lens placed in the socket of my eye. And when my parents knew about this procedure,
00:10:48.880
I asked them for their support, especially after my appointment, when I'm out of the procedure,
00:10:57.680
and very sensitive to light, unable to see, I felt very weak. However, they were not there to assist me
00:11:07.440
with with getting home and in a in a safe way. So I did not attend the rest of the prescribed treatments
00:11:16.400
from my from my laser treatment for my eye. I had to then suffer the consequences when it attacked
00:11:27.840
my other eye and inevitably resulting in complete blurred vision when my retina fully detached in
00:11:38.480
in December on both eyes. So yeah, I mean, that just sounds horrific. And, you know, I'm sorry that
00:11:50.480
you had to go through that. You talked about you talked about all of these medications that you have
00:11:56.320
to take you have to take, you have to take these insulin shots frequently in this. You're also in
00:12:02.640
considerable pain every day, especially in the winter. What is what is what is a typical day for
00:12:10.640
you like Keanu as a 24 year old young person living just outside of Toronto? You know, what what are your
00:12:21.600
you know, I just want our viewers and listeners to understand what your struggles are like every every day?
00:12:27.600
Well, to start in the morning, I wake up to test my sugars, my blood sugar, I have a continuous glucose
00:12:39.440
monitor, which is attached to me for two weeks. And that is monitored with the iPhone with an app on my
00:12:48.080
phone to to have accurate readings minute by minute. So when I wake up, I ensure that I have average glucose
00:13:01.360
in range of four to eight millimoles. And if it's not in that range, for whatever reason, and maybe in
00:13:10.960
the middle of the night time, I went up and sugar maybe the night before I had too much to eat and not enough
00:13:20.720
insulin, I'll balance out my sugar and and just rest in bed until it is green. Once I have a leveled sugar, I
00:13:31.280
start my day with basic hygiene and exercising my service dogs, I ensure that they're fed and they have
00:13:43.680
water after the night. I go outside and let them out. I watch them run around for a bit. And when I get
00:13:54.320
back inside, I really have nothing else to do. I mean, other than letting them out three times a day
00:14:07.040
for the bathroom, playing with them 10 to 30 minutes after that bathroom break.
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I will watch movies and TV shows that have audio description in front of a large TV
00:14:24.320
as the vision goggles. The vision buddy does not stop very comfortable. And when I wear it for longer
00:14:34.960
periods of time, it disorientates me to the highest degree. I am very dizzy. I'm discombobulated with my
00:14:44.400
balance. I I have I sweat a lot from wearing the goggles because they obstruct most of my face.
00:15:01.280
during the day, I'm allowed to leave for medical emergencies to acquire some cannabis for my pain
00:15:08.880
management. So I'll use my electric scooter, which I shouldn't really be I shouldn't really be using
00:15:17.440
because I can severely hurt myself or someone else. But it does get me around because I'm not able to
00:15:25.760
drive. And nobody's really helping me. My grandfather is quite old. And he's the only licensed
00:15:34.000
driver in the home. So after I've watched movies and TV shows or occupied myself with podcasts
00:15:42.560
during the day, I I try to maintain that level glucose while drinking only water. If my blood
00:15:50.960
sugar does go low from the activities with my service animals are traveling to the medicinal cannabis
00:15:58.800
store, even the doctors. I I'm allowed to drink some juice to raise my sugar levels.
00:16:05.840
But I refrain from eating anything just so that I don't have to take another shot.
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My grandfather is disgruntled by this, but he's given up on asking me to join him to eat because
00:16:21.200
he's scheduled for breakfast, lunch and dinner as a normal person should be.
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Yeah, but so so piano. Do you have any friends? We'll come to your mother a little little later in
00:16:36.880
the show. But because she she you know, she figures quite importantly, and everything that happened to
00:16:42.240
you last fall. Do you do you have a girlfriend? Do you have friends come and visit you? Do you have a
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social life? Not really. And that's mainly because my wish to die is still present. And my friends who
00:17:01.360
were involved in my life and my social circle don't want to spend any time with me knowing that I I want
00:17:13.760
to die and that's what I'm trying to pursue. And if I do ask them for help. It's it's mostly brushed
00:17:22.320
off. Like if I ask them, I need help to get dog food or I need help to go somewhere. It's often with a
00:17:31.280
response of, well, do you still want to die? Like what's your motive here? And the response is they
00:17:37.920
don't want to waste any time with me knowing that this is what I want to do. So it's very disheartening
00:17:45.760
because along the way, I was told to inform everyone in my life about my decision. And my friends
00:17:56.960
who I used to talk to aren't really understanding to any degree of what I go through.
00:18:03.280
They think that I'm I'm good looking, I can get girlfriends. But even when I'm on social media
00:18:14.160
apps, dating apps, a lot of a lot of my motivation isn't driven towards seeking out a partner to
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spend time with because I have this in my mind that I'm going through so much pain. I can't
00:18:33.920
direct any of my attention away from my diabetes and having a flatline glucose
00:18:47.120
Um, so Keanu, um, so you applied for MAID last year and, uh, and you were eventually approved.
00:18:55.280
Um, can you walk us through the process involved when you applied? Uh, what was it? Was it hard?
00:19:01.760
Uh, or was it relatively easy to get the process started?
00:19:13.200
Um, it was my second or third call to the coordination service in the beginning of April.
00:19:21.680
Uh, my first call was in 2018 and I was evaluated and it was concluded that the legislation would not
00:19:32.960
permit an assisted death. So not only did the legislation change in 2021, but also my condition worsened.
00:19:43.040
And after gathering, um, a lot of support from my vision loss and, and seeking out the best help I
00:19:53.680
can receive, the best treatment I can, um, I can find in the world.
00:19:57.680
I returned from the Bascon Palmer Eye Institute and knew that I had to call the MAID coordination
00:20:05.120
service because my life would, would be burdened with this, with this impairment. So the coordination
00:20:15.200
service, um, had all my information from previous years, and they said that a doctor would be in
00:20:22.240
touch with me within one to two weeks. That dragged on to the third week when I, when I called then and
00:20:30.880
said, what's the process looking like? Whereas the doctor hasn't contacted me. And the response was,
00:20:38.320
we've assigned you the same assessor from 2018 and he will be in touch with you. Uh, I wasn't happy
00:20:49.200
with that answer because I didn't hear anything from the doctor. So I looked through my contacts and
00:20:55.040
found his number. Um, I called him and I hung up immediately because I didn't know what the outcome of
00:21:04.800
the conversation would be. So after I guess he received a notification, he called me back immediately
00:21:12.480
and notified me that he's not going to proceed with the, um, at the application until he receives
00:21:20.480
a psychiatric assessment for capacity. And I was disgruntled by this because I knew that my,
00:21:29.760
uh, my psychiatrist practices at a Catholic hospital, it would be impossible for him to
00:21:40.240
assess me for a procedure that his workplace has policies against this procedure. So
00:21:49.680
against me against me. Yeah. So I, I voiced that concern. I said, where can we find a psychiatrist?
00:21:58.960
I mean, the maid coordination service doesn't have any, um, any resources in their database. I've been,
00:22:07.280
I was calling them and I flustered their lines daily to, um, to reach this next step in the proceed in
00:22:16.080
the application. When, um, um, when the first assessor, Dr. Joshua Tepper had, um, had acknowledged this,
00:22:30.960
he, um, he suggested, well, we can find a psychiatrist who also does maid, uh, procedures
00:22:40.640
and that would, uh, suffice for your second assessor. However, when I was asking the coordination service
00:22:49.600
for that requirement for a psychiatrist to provide me, uh, a maid assessment, they also fell short on
00:22:59.600
providing me of the resources. They said that there is this doctor we can suggest, her name is
00:23:10.480
uh, blah, blah, blah. And when I asked the doctor, my assessor, he said that she's a conscious
00:23:18.320
objector of track two applicants and I am a track two applicant. So I was frustrated to not only be
00:23:29.440
talking with a psychiatrist that would not actually assist me with my application, but also not find
00:23:35.600
another psychiatrist who could help me. Um, and after, after months of, of getting psychiatric treatment,
00:23:47.440
I constantly would mention maid to my psychiatrist. I'm taking my medication that they've prescribed for
0.63
00:23:56.160
depression. And they, the psychiatrist noted that I'm trying to fulfill enjoyment in my life. I attended
00:24:06.080
music festivals, concerts. Um, I would often go up to the mall with my service dogs. I would walk
00:24:12.720
around. I wasn't a lump on the log depressed in bed all day. So after noting this for months of psychiatric
00:24:24.880
consults, the assessor finally determined that I have medical capacity and he can finally
00:24:36.880
move along to the next process, my application to find a second assessor. I was so excited to hear that.
00:24:45.600
But, but I was also, uh, reluctant to get my hopes up because of the lack of resources, the coordination
00:24:55.200
service had already not provided. Uh, so sorry to interrupt Keanu, but, uh, and then I want you to
00:25:03.040
pick up where you left off. Um, can you provide us a timeline of, uh, when it is that you, um, called
00:25:10.480
uh, your, the doctor, I believe this was Dr. Joshua Tepper, the, uh, first assessor to the time that,
00:25:18.160
uh, to the time where you just, where, where, you know, you got according to you, this good news that
00:25:24.480
there was going to be a second assessor involved. Well, I, uh, first spoke with, uh, Dr. Tepper
00:25:32.160
Dr. Joshua Tepper when I found his number at the end of April, 2022, April 22. Okay. And, um,
00:25:44.560
this is all the while I was being treated for my psychiatric condition of depression and
00:25:53.040
Dr. Joshua Tepper, and through the, uh, consults, there was a, there was a rocky patch in my living
00:26:04.160
situation. Um, but after that, um, that rocky patch had happened in June of 2022, I believe it was
00:26:18.160
by July 2022, the psychiatrist concluded in his notes, uh, sufficient information for the first
00:26:29.200
assessor, Dr. Tepper to move along with the application. So, uh, now we're in July, 2022,
00:26:37.840
where I received that the second assessor may be assigned. I was calling the maid coordination
00:26:45.440
service, um, relentlessly asking, is there another assessor assigned yet? Is there any news about my
00:26:54.160
application? What can I do to make this process move along? And the response was just like my requests,
00:27:06.160
my calls were falling on deaf ears. I was transferred to this person. This person will call me back
00:27:10.480
and there was really no, um, no answer for me, no outcome until, um, until the doctor even received my,
00:27:22.640
uh, my barrage of calls and messages. He, he, I guess, kicked something into the maid coordination service.
00:27:33.520
There was some sort of, um, some sort of resource that, uh, flipped the switch and a second assessor
00:27:43.600
reached out to me. And when that happened in, um, in the middle of July, I believe we had, uh, uh,
00:27:57.920
virtual appointment, which is, is normal after COVID, especially with my disability and inability to,
00:28:08.160
to travel long distances. She, um, she met me face to face virtually and heard it from my, from my own
00:28:20.320
voice that I am requesting for medical assistance in dying. I confirmed my birth date. It was
00:28:27.920
um, that was quite easy, but what she had to do, I guess, was not what they had to do was not, um,
00:28:38.320
very straightforward. There was a lot of conversations with my, um, my specialist with
00:28:45.120
ophthalmology and endocrinology to gather more, um, more information about my conditions. And
00:28:55.360
I guess my capacity to control these conditions and deal with them.
00:29:00.800
And again, my, my requests, my calls, my messages were falling on deaf ears to both assessors now.
00:29:09.200
And I would have to call the maid coordination service to actually, um, say, Hey, you know,
00:29:15.200
the doctors aren't answering me and the doctors, all my requests are falling on deaf ears. Can you
00:29:21.200
somehow, uh, move the process along and the maid coordination service with the, then I guess,
00:29:28.800
send a message to the doctors, which resulted in a prompt response instead, we're still working on it.
00:29:36.880
We're still, um, I still need to speak with your endocrinologist. For example, that was one of the
00:29:42.960
responses, but, uh, but then when the evaluations were concluded in, in, I believe, August of 2022,
00:30:00.240
I was given the, the green light to start filling out the clinician aid, a form, which is, which would
00:30:09.840
be considered my written consent for medical assistance and dying. And as you know, I, I suffered
00:30:17.600
from, uh, vision loss. I wasn't able to actually fill out these forms. So I consulted with an organization,
00:30:27.760
dying with dignity, who actually was very helpful in completing these forms and assigning a proxy and a
00:30:36.880
witness to the proxy for my signature. And that was also virtually, um, there's two individuals involved
00:30:47.120
who, um, who read out everything on the paper, uh, wrote everything I had verbalized to them on paper,
00:30:59.200
and it was all witnessed. Then after having received those forms, uh, digitally, I had just forwarded them
00:31:09.680
to the first assessor. And I believe that was the, the document that was discovered through my email
00:31:22.160
Discovered by your sister, who then passed on this information to your mother.
00:31:26.560
Yes. Yes. Yes. And your sister, just to, just to let her, um, viewers and, um, listeners know this,
00:31:34.480
that, um, uh, that, that you got your sister to help you check your emails because you couldn't see.
00:31:43.120
This was because, um, not only for the disability application for important, um, important emails
00:31:54.320
I was receiving from the government, but I would always ask her before signing into my email address.
00:32:02.400
She even asked me, what's your password again? So I didn't actually believe she had complete access
00:32:09.280
to my email. And I never asked her to read any of those emails, uh, involving my medical assistance
00:32:17.760
and dying application. Uh, which might I add all of those, uh, emails from physicians were enclosed with a
00:32:28.560
patient privacy policy. So it was only for me to, to acknowledge and read what was on those, those forms
00:32:38.640
or those messages. And when I submitted that clinician aid form, the doctor questioned why my signature
00:32:49.360
is not on there. Um, he was again, very, um, thorough in making sure that this was above board. So he agreed
00:33:00.800
that I do have a disability that limits me from completing these forms. He saw that it was, um,
00:33:09.920
authorized by a representative dying with dignity. He was aware of the organization and he, he accepted
00:33:19.360
that, that submission of that form. When that happened, uh, we were able to then speak about, uh,
00:33:28.400
possible dates and the location it could take place. And I was renting, um, I was renting,
00:33:36.240
or sorry, stub leasing a basement apartment in Brampton, Ontario.
00:33:43.600
So I intended that I would have the procedure done there. My lease. This was in August, this was in
00:33:51.120
August or 2022. Yes. Okay. We started discussing dates after the clinician aid form was received.
00:34:01.920
Um, I told the doctor, I want to have it in the comfort of my own home. My lease is to expire October
00:34:10.320
1st. So, um, preferably before that date. So I can, I can have the accommodations met and
00:34:21.120
uh, uh, I wanted it to be on a Sunday evening. Uh, however, he said, uh, he usually does this on the
00:34:38.960
weekend in the morning. So. Uh, why is why a Sunday evening?
00:34:51.120
uh, explore my last days. I had a plan to, um, try to enjoy as much as life can offer.
00:35:01.360
And I still have until that appointment date and time to change my mind. So I was trying to accomplish,
00:35:10.320
um, some sort of, uh, bucket list. And I, I even thought about a gentleman's lounge going out with
00:35:22.640
all my friends, uh, spending all the money I had to, uh, kind of go out with a bank. But, uh, he said that
00:35:32.800
September 22 or September 28 works for him. And that would be, uh, at my house in Brampton.
00:35:42.240
Um, so Keanu, just, sorry, just, uh, just hold that thought. Uh, you said something very interesting
00:35:48.960
a couple of minutes ago. You said that you picked Sunday because, you know, you wanted to like, you know,
00:35:55.120
just take stock of everything that, that was, that had happened and was going to happen. And it would
00:36:00.560
also give you an opportunity. Um, if you were to change your mind, uh, if you're so sure about
00:36:08.080
medical assistance and dying as the way to go for you, do it, I, did you have doubts within you that
00:36:17.440
you may not want to go ahead with the procedure? I didn't have any doubts in my mind. However,
00:36:24.640
um, what I was hearing from everyone else was, was doubts. It was, you're so good looking. Um,
00:36:33.200
you have so much to bring to the table. You know, you can have so much fun. Life is worth living.
00:36:38.400
And I really wanted to hear what these people were saying. And I wanted to see it for myself.
00:36:43.360
I wanted to actually experience that with those people. Um, so that's why I planned out to,
00:36:51.600
I guess, um, go out with the bank, spend all my money and, and maybe along the way someone or
00:37:00.080
something would have changed my mind. But internally I had no, uh, doubts or fears of this. I was very
00:37:08.960
looking forward to the day. However, my, um, my lease was ended from a, uh, criminal accusation
00:37:21.440
of the indecent act. So on August 18th of 2022, I was arrested and charged with the indecent act,
00:37:31.920
which ultimately, uh, limited, uh, limited my accommodation to be met, having it in the comfort
00:37:38.640
of my own home. Uh, this frustrated me very much. So, and after telling the doctor everything that had
00:37:46.720
happened, uh, I noted that it can't happen here at my grandfather's house. My grandfather accepted me in,
00:37:56.080
uh, and I told him that it wouldn't, it wouldn't fly. Like the name of the property is not, it's not
00:38:06.560
under my name. He would have to get permission to this procedure. So I requested for, uh, location
00:38:14.480
where I can receive this procedure with comfort and discretion. He suggested, uh, place called the
00:38:22.880
maid house, MAID house, where he, uh, CC'd me on an email to the coordinator of that organization.
00:38:32.800
We were in touch about the same possible date dates. She also suggested September 22nd and also
00:38:40.080
September 28th. And I chose September 22nd as I did before, and it would be at this, um, this location.
00:38:50.560
I was kind of, uh, put off track from my plans. However, um, I readjusted, I found the bus routes,
00:39:00.640
how I would get there and what my, uh, my determination really showed in trying to,
00:39:07.120
to reach that date at the maid house. Yeah. This, um, conversation that you're
00:39:13.360
having with Dr. Joshua Tepper, uh, your, your, um, this physician, uh, one of your two assessors,
00:39:22.640
um, where he's, uh, we are talking about location. You're talking about dates. Is that,
00:39:28.160
is that a face-to-face conversation? Is that, uh, texting? Is it on Zoom? Uh, how, how were you
00:39:35.360
communicating with each other? Um, it was a combination of, like, on the phone, so telephone
00:39:43.120
calls and emails. I don't believe we spoke about this over text message. Um, and I also reiterated
00:39:54.320
that, you know, there might be a breach of private information from my email. Please send me text
00:40:01.040
messages. Please refrain from using this email address. But he also cited that, you know,
00:40:07.920
it's not gonna hurt to tell my family. I should be informing them every step of the way. And knowing
00:40:15.920
their first response to any evidence that I had of my application, I was very reluctant to share
00:40:26.480
the details, especially that it was, uh, weeks away. And that can, it can, I don't need to have my own,
00:40:36.880
uh, my own residence to do this. I could go to a designated facility and get this treatment discreetly.
00:40:45.600
And, um, my family just did not like that idea. The doctor was still message, uh, emailing me and,
00:40:55.520
and, um, also the coordinator from the maid house was also emailing me about dates. And I thought,
00:41:05.360
what's the worst that can happen? My sister sees the email. What can they possibly do? I already have
00:41:11.200
the approval and the date set with even the clinical itinerary of like, Hey, I want to know what the
00:41:20.640
timeline is, what the process is, because I wanted to attend with my service animals. I wanted them to
00:41:27.280
be there and that accommodation was met. So I was also needing to find someone to take over their care
00:41:38.480
and control them after the procedure was done. Um, so sorry, Keanu. So, uh, just, uh, just a quick
00:41:46.640
question. Um, um, what you told me about, you know, that, you know, as, as the day, uh, um, came,
00:41:57.680
you know, came, uh, as, as it, as it approached, um, you were hoping that someone in your life would,
00:42:04.480
uh, would step in and, uh, change your mind. Did you at any point communicate this to Dr. Tepper or
00:42:13.280
the other assessor? I wasn't hoping that someone would, uh, step in. In fact, I, I heard so much so
00:42:23.360
that it started to become a subliminal thought in my mind. Like, are they right? Are they saying this?
00:42:32.800
And am I selfish to not actually acknowledge, um, what they're saying? Is the selfish of me to,
00:42:42.320
um, to kind of dismiss everything they have to offer if they have anything to offer? So, um,
00:42:54.160
I had a meeting with my dad and my uncle who didn't really have a relationship with,
00:43:00.880
but I, I requested for, um, a substantial amount of money for the last 30 days said that the data set
00:43:13.600
is that I want, uh, a thousand dollars each day for the next 30 days to experience enjoyment.
00:43:25.120
And even if it doesn't change my mind, at least I enjoyed the last days of my life. It wasn't
00:43:35.760
in pain. It wasn't with grief. It wasn't suffering the whole way there.
00:43:40.240
Um, but it was declined. Uh, my uncle and his brother declined
00:43:50.080
and were not willing to assist me with anything regarding this application.
00:43:56.240
Until my aunt and my mom got involved after discovering the email,
00:44:12.480
because my aunt knew that I was very close to her at the time in September,
00:44:18.240
she knew that there was a music festival approaching a three-day music festival that I
00:44:23.680
really wanted to attend. The tickets, however, were very expensive and a part of that, um,
00:44:31.200
amount of money I requested, I was going to use for that weekend. Uh, so when everyone knew that
00:44:44.080
the proof was there, it was very evident this is happening. Then surprisingly, my father said,
00:44:54.080
hey, I got you a wristband for the concert. I was so shocked because he's very against, um,
00:45:02.960
the concerts and alcohol with the exposure to drugs, especially that I'm blind.
00:45:10.400
I thought it'd be a very big risk for me to attend. So I got my sister involved as well.
00:45:21.120
Uh, you know, applying for MAID is, uh, you know, the most difficult decision anyone can make in their
00:45:27.280
life. Uh, did you feel that it was simply impossible, absolutely impossible to manage
00:45:36.400
your type one diabetes and vision loss? Um, it obviously makes your life extremely challenging.
00:45:43.280
Um, and you know, none of us can claim to, to know what you're going through, but the, what you're
00:45:52.080
going through is not in itself life threatening, right? Well, to say the least, um,
00:45:59.840
um, to say the least, I, I know it's a big decision. It's, it's grave and all of the accommodations I need
00:46:16.480
to have a life with enjoyment while sustaining the other aspects that life requires such as financial
00:46:32.000
housing, food, to live a comfortable life. I wasn't, I wasn't being accommodated
00:46:41.440
to the degree I see tolerable. I was raised with a caregiver from the age of 12. I had a caregiver
00:46:55.440
cooking and cleaning for me. I was very accustomed to, um, eating off of a silver plate. And
00:47:04.240
now more than ever, I needed that extra support in my life. Someone who can be my eyes and take charge of
00:47:15.360
things that I was unable unable to do. And the government, my family, especially my parents were,
00:47:25.200
um, were not there for me when I called out, when I called them out on this help.
00:47:30.960
I need caregiving support. And my mom is very, um, resourceful with that, having two businesses
1.00
00:47:40.560
to supply caregivers, even licensed caregivers in Ontario. She wasn't willing to provide me with
00:47:47.520
that care. Um, my dad has a substantial amount of money. He wasn't able to, uh, fund a comfortable life.
00:47:56.080
And after knowing that my life would be filled with not only pain, but, um, I would be a burden
00:48:07.600
onto myself and others having to live at my grandfather's house, whether I keep him company
00:48:13.600
or not, he, he doesn't, he doesn't, he's not required to drive anybody around anymore. He's done that with
00:48:22.080
his four children and even with his grandchildren up until, uh, you know, they've all grown up and I'm
00:48:30.560
grown up. However, I'm still demanding all these things from him, which is burdening him.
00:48:37.200
So after realizing, especially after coming back from the best iron suit in the world,
00:48:45.760
I knew that this would be my fate. I mean, there's nothing to look forward to, uh, blind. I can't
00:48:53.440
look past the, my arms reach and see clearly. So everything just became so dull in my life and I,
00:49:03.520
and I wasn't getting the help I asked for. Is that, is that why you're still seeking mate Keanu?
00:49:09.760
Well, yes, especially now, because I feel subjugated to my conditions and, um, people's
00:49:24.960
desire to keep me around, uh, you look healthy and you were good looking, isn't a reason at all
00:49:32.080
for me to suffer this much. Just, just the fact that I don't have the willingness or pleasure to seek out
00:49:46.400
a partner, a female partner and, um, and social friends. That in itself, um, is making it ever more
00:49:59.440
difficult for me to see something different, see a different outcome. So I've been constantly trying
00:50:07.680
to attend hospital emergency rooms, uh, requests were made from doctors who, uh, who I've heard
00:50:17.680
publicly offer made or have, uh, done procedures with the maid. But again, my mom will follow me to the
0.71
00:50:26.560
hospital and, um, again, safe, false information to try to control the situation and control my decision.
00:50:41.040
It's my own decision to make and no, no one, especially my, my family has given me a reason
00:50:50.160
that it's going to get better because it's just gotten worse since September 22nd. There's been more
00:50:56.880
safeguards and preventions against me accessing the medical care I desire.
00:51:02.320
And so these are interventions, uh, from your mother, by your mother and members of your family,
00:51:11.840
or is it the medical profession as well? No, it's mostly my, my family. It's my mom,
00:51:19.280
her husband, who's the lawyer had criminal proceedings with my dad, um, which an altercation
00:51:27.200
was premeditated and provoked. Um, and that results in a house arrest. I'm only allowed
00:51:35.360
to leave for medical emergencies and I don't have proper legal representation. Until recently,
00:51:44.480
I've received a legal aid certificate, but I don't, I don't see hope.
00:51:52.320
The story of how you got denied MAID is something I wrote about last year, uh, for the Free Press.
00:51:59.920
Uh, you, you, you're an adult seeking MAID, you were an adult seeking MAID, and yet you weren't
00:52:05.440
able to get it because your sister and your mother discovered these emails, um, where you had
00:52:12.320
essentially been approved for MAID and your mother took to social media and, uh, and, and called up the
0.80
00:52:19.120
doctor. And, and, and so he was forced to back off, um, uh, from, from, from your case. Um, and, um,
00:52:29.600
you know, so you're an adult seeking MAID, how did that make you feel that you had your mother
00:52:34.880
intervening in this manner? Did you feel that your freedom of choice to make the choice you thought
00:52:40.560
was right for yourself was somehow violated? It was very much violated. It's unconstitutional. And I
00:52:48.480
don't think there's any, um, any history of this. So there's nothing really to work off of. There's
00:52:54.480
no case law that says, um, this is the procedure we take when this happens. It's also new, uh, to
00:53:04.640
everyone. And I, I felt very abused. Um, and especially after September 22nd passed, I felt very neglected
00:53:16.480
by my family because they, they said, Hey, we accomplished our goal. The doctor backed off
00:53:25.920
and Keanu's still here. And I said, well, now what? And no one was there to answer my,
00:53:33.520
my calls for help. I requested for caregiving support. I requested for medicinal support
00:53:46.880
specifically my insulin needles are not free. Medicinal cannabis is not free.
00:53:53.920
Transportation to my appointments is not free. And the government support I'm receiving
00:54:00.560
is not sufficient. So when I turned to my family, the next of kin to the doctors or the government,
00:54:10.160
I felt very much neglected. And I felt unloved. I didn't feel love, uh, when that happened. And still to this
00:54:21.840
day, I, I'm requesting for caregiving support from my mother's two businesses. She's, she's unable to
00:54:30.800
provide that for me. It in fact seems like I have to negotiate on the terms of my life when it's not in
00:54:43.040
her hands to decide. It's not in anybody else's hands to decide other than my own. Um, I feel less
00:54:50.560
than a person. I, I don't feel equal in society because this decision has been taken away from me
00:55:00.720
unconstitutionally. I feel very violated to say the least.
00:55:04.480
Um, at any point, did any of the medical professionals that you came in contact with
00:55:11.520
any of the counselors, uh, who were involved in your case, uh, any, any of these people that you
00:55:17.760
spoke to along the way, did any of them try to discourage you from going ahead with MAID, uh,
00:55:23.440
or, or did they encourage you or for that matter, just remain neutral?
00:55:28.480
Um, most of the time it was neutrality, but also discouragement, um, in seeing that and seeing
00:55:41.440
my mother's actions and seeing a regular mother and son relationship anybody has, they acknowledge
00:55:50.320
their love that they have for their mother or the love they receive from their mother. But it is far
00:55:57.440
from my reality with my relationship. And that's what hurts the most is because
00:56:05.360
they're extremely misinterpreting my situation for theirs. It, it's so frustrating that even the slightest,
00:56:19.440
the slightest resemblance to a mother and son relationship has
00:56:27.600
an impact on someone's either ability to discourage or encourage, nobody has ever encouraged me on this
00:56:36.960
decision. And it's, it's frustrating that nobody is even assisting me with this decision. It's mainly
00:56:48.480
because of the illegal injunctions that have been made and everyone feels threatened to help me accomplish
00:56:55.920
this. It's, it's so sad. I'm very sad. And it's ever more difficult to deal with these conditions when
00:57:04.720
I have this at the back of my head all the time. Yeah. I mean, given what you've been through,
00:57:11.600
uh, I wonder Keanu, what would be your advice for anyone facing a difficult situation such as yourself?
00:57:21.680
Would you, uh, encourage them to consider a mate, for example, would you, or would you, uh, maybe take a different
00:57:28.880
approach with them and, and encourage them to maybe, you know, try to get some family support or other
00:57:37.520
kinds of support? Um, basically if someone was in a bad state, a really bad state, mentally, emotionally,
00:57:44.800
and physically, and they asked you for your advice, what would you tell them?
00:57:48.240
Well, to start, I would, I would suggest considering my family hasn't really been supportive of it.
00:58:00.000
I would suggest treading very lightly when speaking of their decision to medical assistance in dying.
00:58:10.160
It's not, um, it's not widely accepted by popular belief. It's, it's,
00:58:17.680
and it's inhumane. And to that, I would, I would strongly suggest
00:58:27.280
taking the right precautions when discussing this with people in your life and especially with your
00:58:37.760
doctors to be very truthful because they are the only ones that can be neutral in this situation. I was,
00:58:47.920
extremely honest and I, I said things I never even, uh, I never even really knew about myself when,
00:59:00.560
when asked questions and it would just be a domino effect of truth after truth after truth. You can't
00:59:07.280
really get there with someone who you have already made some sort of, um, precautions when speaking with
00:59:17.680
them. So to start, I would say, be very cautious with those you love and those who love you. Um, because
00:59:28.880
it's not, it's not very, uh, it's not taken very lightly. I would suggest to be very thorough in their
00:59:37.360
care plan and their treatment with their doctors, being as honest as possible, not only to the doctors,
00:59:43.520
but to themselves as well, trying to explore all possible remedies and treatments.
00:59:49.440
Even if that means, um, going online anonymously and talking to, to others where you don't have to
01:00:05.040
share your voice or your face where you can feel more comfortable, then you can really understand
01:00:13.040
if this is for you or it's just a phase. And yeah, I think that's the best thing I can say as advice.
01:00:22.320
Okay. Um, how optimistic are you, um, given that you still want to go through with MAID,
01:00:30.400
how optimistic are you that, uh, you, you would, you're going, you'll get approved sometime in the
01:00:36.400
near future? Well, after going to the hospital recently in North York, Ontario, I was, uh,
01:00:49.600
uh, I was shot down basically my idea or my request was shot down
01:00:59.200
because it's always circled back to, uh, suicidal ideolations and yes, assisted death is a species
01:01:09.040
of suicide, but it doesn't overtake all the other problems
01:01:18.800
I or anybody is dealing with. It could be a consequential effect of someone's condition,
01:01:29.360
but make no mistake. It's not the first thing to be treated. And that's where I felt
01:01:36.960
like I was silenced. I felt like everything else, a part of my history was dismissed and it was only
01:01:52.080
focused on suicidal ideolations. So now I'm very, I'm very optimistic. And that's really the only thing
01:02:04.560
that's helping me treat my conditions now with insulin and my eye drops. It's really the only thing
01:02:12.400
making me go forward because I've applied in a different country for volunteer assisted death
01:02:20.320
where the laws are more liberal. And although it is not a funded program, it's not financially covered.
01:02:33.200
I did receive a, um, I did receive an approval for financial remedy to this procedure. I also wrote, uh,
01:02:47.520
about 50 pages of my life story and reasons why I want to die. Why I want an assisted death.
0.67
01:02:56.080
And I'm very hopeful to attend that organization.
01:03:08.480
Um, after calling the maid coordination service, um, here in February, when I was connected with
01:03:16.640
the nurse practitioner, who's been in contact on my file for years now, since my first application,
01:03:23.680
she said, it's, it's your story is on the media on national television. Everybody in Canada has
01:03:30.320
access to what had happened. It's very unlikely that a doctor is going to assist you now considering
01:03:38.000
all that your mother has said and done. I felt so defeated when I heard that. And I, I didn't eat
01:03:45.600
for days. I didn't care for my insulin for days. It was so frustrating to hear that because in my own
01:03:52.560
country with the charter and rights and freedoms we have as Canadians, I felt so violated.
01:04:00.320
to hear that. And I felt very dejected, very dejected to my life.
01:04:09.440
I know, I know things, uh, haven't gone the way you hoped. Um, this is a final question for you.
01:04:16.800
How, how does it feel, uh, how does it feel, uh, to still be alive?
01:04:21.760
Um, like I said, I feel very dejected. I feel very, um, um, I feel pain and I think of things
01:04:39.120
e more, uh, immoral. I think of things very immorally. I don't have much care to maintain
01:04:47.600
what I have now. Um, I've lost touch with humanity because I considered myself to die months ago.
01:05:00.000
And since that didn't happen, my reaction to things are very careless, especially with my relationships
01:05:18.320
Well, uh, yeah, it's, um, you know, it's a challenging situation to be in and, uh, um,
01:05:27.040
you know, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm sorry that, um, you know, that you feel this way, but, um,
01:05:33.120
um, Keanu, I want to thank you for your courage, uh, coming on the show, uh, in talking about
01:05:39.040
something as difficult, as complex and, uh, as emotional as, uh, medical assistance in dying.
01:05:46.160
Um, I, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and I really wish you all the very best,
01:05:54.800
Yes. Thank you so much for having me, Rupa. I appreciate your time and consideration along
01:06:01.040
the way since I've been speaking for months now. Um, I appreciate your neutrality in this,
01:06:09.200
um, because I haven't had, I haven't really had anybody that, uh, that sees eye to eye with me on
01:06:18.560
this, on this decision I'm making. So thank you for your sensitivity.