Juno News - March 17, 2023


The other side of the MAID debate (Ft. Kiano Vafaien)


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 6 minutes

Words per Minute

118.19991

Word Count

7,877

Sentence Count

416

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hello everybody.
00:00:18.480 My name is Rupa Subramania and welcome to the Rupa Subramania show.
00:00:23.040 Today, we're going to talk about an important and for many, a very emotional subject.
00:00:28.640 Canada's ever more permissive laws on physician assisted suicide called MAID,
00:00:34.160 which stands for medical assistance in dying. Our laws here in Canada are way more permissive
00:00:40.960 than most other Western countries. And they could get expanded even further. That would include
00:00:46.560 mental illness as the sole underlying condition. And one day even to mature minors. I wrote about
00:00:53.360 MAID last fall for the free press. In the story, I spoke to several individuals
00:00:59.440 who are contemplating MAID. One of the most compelling stories I heard was from 23-year-old
00:01:05.120 Keanu Wafayan, who was seeking MAID as he was suffering from type 1 diabetes and vision loss.
00:01:12.080 He was approved for MAID and scheduled to die September 21st, 2022. That is,
00:01:19.200 until his mother, Margaret Marcilla, intervened. Keanu's sister, who had been helping him check
00:01:25.760 his emails because he couldn't see very well, discovered that Keanu had applied and had been
00:01:31.360 approved for MAID. She passed on this information to his mother, who confronted the doctor who was
00:01:37.360 going to perform the procedure. Margaret Marcilla then took to social media and the resulting backlash
00:01:43.520 prompted the doctor involved to back out completely. This is why Keanu is alive today. To talk about
00:01:51.840 what's going on with Keanu, where he finds himself, and what he hopes for the future, it's my pleasure
00:01:59.040 to welcome Keanu Wafayan today to the show. Hi Keanu, welcome to the show. It's a real pleasure to speak
00:02:07.360 with you. It's great to have you here on the show. Let me just first start by asking Keanu, how are
00:02:13.760 things going with you? How do you feel these days? I still have a lot of pain in my eyes, both my eyes.
00:02:24.480 My vision in my right eye, which has very little to see, is actually getting worse because of the silicone
00:02:34.800 oil inserted. I'm not so hopeful on my eyesight getting any better, and I'm not so hopeful with my
00:02:48.720 diabetes getting any better. I've been doing the bare minimum just to get by, and I've been waiting
00:02:55.760 for another chance at medical assistance in dying. Keanu, before we get to that, could you tell our
00:03:02.160 viewers and our listeners, what are the medical conditions that you're battling or you've been
00:03:10.720 battling your whole life? Well, I have type 1 diabetes, and that's been for two decades now.
00:03:18.880 I was diagnosed at 4, and I just turned 24 yesterday on the 14th of March.
00:03:25.120 I take insulin injections daily and with every meal I have, so I try to reduce my meals to once a day to
00:03:37.760 limit my injections. I've made that schedule so that I experience less pain, as little pain as possible
00:03:47.360 when taking my insulin as well. My nerve damage in the endings of my hands and the feet, especially in
00:03:58.560 the wintertime, is very painful when it's very sensitive to the cold. When I go outside, I don't
00:04:11.440 really feel that it's getting bad. It's really cold. I don't feel that, but as soon as I get inside, it's
00:04:18.080 just severe pain from the temperature change. With my eyes, with respect to that, I've had severe
00:04:27.120 retinal detachment in both of my eyes from diabetic retinopathy, and after doing surgery to reattach the
00:04:36.240 retinas. In my left eye, it failed to reattach the retina. The doctors failed because there was so much
00:04:46.320 scar tissue, and in my right eye, they managed to reattach the retina, which is being bound by silicone
00:04:57.280 oil, and that does blur my vision because the lens is being viewed through that silicone oil,
00:05:06.480 and the doctor said when the retina is able to hold its own, they can remove it. They may be able to
00:05:15.440 remove it, which would increase my vision. However, after the year mark of my surgery,
00:05:23.360 the doctors evaluated it's not ready to hold its own. We can't remove the silicone oil,
00:05:29.040 or as it could result in more detachment. With respect to the left eye, as it does not have any function,
00:05:39.360 I experienced neovascular glaucoma. That is when new vessels form in parts of the eye
00:05:50.640 are caused by diabetic retinopathy. But because the retina is not attached properly, and there is a
00:06:00.080 lack of oxygen and blood to the eye, it makes it very difficult for the eye to properly drain, which
00:06:10.480 results in an increased pressure from the blood vessels, the new vessels being formed in those
00:06:20.400 drainage parts. So as a result of that, I was prescribed monthly eye injections to neutralize
00:06:30.400 those new vessels formed. And I also am prescribed different eye drops, four different types of eye
00:06:38.960 drops that I take, take about a dozen eye drops per day to manage the pain and symptoms of glaucoma,
00:06:50.160 which is increased pressure, as well as using medicinal cannabis to combat the side effects of those eye
00:07:00.000 drops, which cause nausea, causes a disfeasurable taste in my mouth, causes decreased appetite from that
00:07:10.960 just icky feeling, sensitivity to light, although I have no perception in the AI. So
00:07:18.240 all in all, the eye serves no purpose, but is causing all this damage. So it was recommended to remove
00:07:27.920 the eye. But that detaches me from having some sort of normalcy to my journey, and being able to
00:07:40.160 play off as if my eyes are functioning, and I'm a normal functioning human being, and no one can really
00:07:46.800 tell from a first glance that I suffer from vision loss.
00:07:51.520 How old were you, Keanu, when you first started to experience vision loss?
00:07:59.680 I believe when we spoke for my story last fall, I believe the vision loss started with your left eye,
00:08:07.520 if I remember that correctly. How old were you when this started to happen?
00:08:14.240 And how did it affect, how did it, how did it, you know, your life obviously just drastically change
00:08:20.800 suddenly? And how did that, how can you tell us what was going through you? What was going through
00:08:25.840 your mind?
00:08:26.240 Yes, well, I first had prescription eyeglasses at a young age in elementary school, but the,
00:08:37.360 the actual vision loss, which prompted a drastic change in my, in my daily activities, my abilities
00:08:47.040 to live independently was at the age of 21. I, I experienced, I think it was
00:08:59.280 June of 2021, when I had a floater, where there was a hemorrhage in my retina, and blood started to leak in
00:09:13.920 my lens. So for me, it looked like, I called it a dancing lady, a red dancing lady in my vision.
00:09:26.480 But no one could actually see from the outside. So it was very hard to address it. I was actually very
00:09:35.360 embarrassed to say the least. At first, it was very troubling to wake up and see that floater. I, I
00:09:46.560 thought it was my eyelashes in the way. So I'm constantly trying to move my eyelashes and look in
00:09:51.680 the mirror. No, so flustered. Then I was prescribed laser treatment for my eyes, which would have been
00:10:05.360 five treatments on each eye to neutralize those new vessels being formed from diabetic retinopathy.
00:10:14.080 It would decrease my night vision and peripheral vision. However, I only attended for two of those
00:10:20.880 treatments, one on each eye, which resulted in extreme pain. To say the least, I was, I was petrified
00:10:29.120 of the whole experience of smelling the residue from the laser into my eye. And it was so discomforting to
00:10:38.960 have the lens placed in the socket of my eye. And when my parents knew about this procedure,
00:10:48.880 I asked them for their support, especially after my appointment, when I'm out of the procedure,
00:10:57.680 and very sensitive to light, unable to see, I felt very weak. However, they were not there to assist me
00:11:07.440 with with getting home and in a in a safe way. So I did not attend the rest of the prescribed treatments
00:11:16.400 from my from my laser treatment for my eye. I had to then suffer the consequences when it attacked
00:11:27.840 my other eye and inevitably resulting in complete blurred vision when my retina fully detached in
00:11:38.480 in December on both eyes. So yeah, I mean, that just sounds horrific. And, you know, I'm sorry that
00:11:50.480 you had to go through that. You talked about you talked about all of these medications that you have
00:11:56.320 to take you have to take, you have to take these insulin shots frequently in this. You're also in
00:12:02.640 considerable pain every day, especially in the winter. What is what is what is a typical day for
00:12:10.640 you like Keanu as a 24 year old young person living just outside of Toronto? You know, what what are your
00:12:21.600 you know, I just want our viewers and listeners to understand what your struggles are like every every day?
00:12:27.600 Well, to start in the morning, I wake up to test my sugars, my blood sugar, I have a continuous glucose
00:12:39.440 monitor, which is attached to me for two weeks. And that is monitored with the iPhone with an app on my
00:12:48.080 phone to to have accurate readings minute by minute. So when I wake up, I ensure that I have average glucose
00:13:01.360 in range of four to eight millimoles. And if it's not in that range, for whatever reason, and maybe in
00:13:10.960 the middle of the night time, I went up and sugar maybe the night before I had too much to eat and not enough
00:13:20.720 insulin, I'll balance out my sugar and and just rest in bed until it is green. Once I have a leveled sugar, I
00:13:31.280 start my day with basic hygiene and exercising my service dogs, I ensure that they're fed and they have
00:13:43.680 water after the night. I go outside and let them out. I watch them run around for a bit. And when I get
00:13:54.320 back inside, I really have nothing else to do. I mean, other than letting them out three times a day
00:14:07.040 for the bathroom, playing with them 10 to 30 minutes after that bathroom break.
00:14:16.480 I will watch movies and TV shows that have audio description in front of a large TV
00:14:24.320 as the vision goggles. The vision buddy does not stop very comfortable. And when I wear it for longer
00:14:34.960 periods of time, it disorientates me to the highest degree. I am very dizzy. I'm discombobulated with my
00:14:44.400 balance. I I have I sweat a lot from wearing the goggles because they obstruct most of my face.
00:14:52.160 And if I don't have medicinal cannabis
00:15:01.280 during the day, I'm allowed to leave for medical emergencies to acquire some cannabis for my pain
00:15:08.880 management. So I'll use my electric scooter, which I shouldn't really be I shouldn't really be using
00:15:17.440 because I can severely hurt myself or someone else. But it does get me around because I'm not able to
00:15:25.760 drive. And nobody's really helping me. My grandfather is quite old. And he's the only licensed
00:15:34.000 driver in the home. So after I've watched movies and TV shows or occupied myself with podcasts
00:15:42.560 during the day, I I try to maintain that level glucose while drinking only water. If my blood
00:15:50.960 sugar does go low from the activities with my service animals are traveling to the medicinal cannabis
00:15:58.800 store, even the doctors. I I'm allowed to drink some juice to raise my sugar levels.
00:16:05.840 But I refrain from eating anything just so that I don't have to take another shot.
00:16:14.320 My grandfather is disgruntled by this, but he's given up on asking me to join him to eat because
00:16:21.200 he's scheduled for breakfast, lunch and dinner as a normal person should be.
00:16:24.960 Yeah, but so so piano. Do you have any friends? We'll come to your mother a little little later in
00:16:36.880 the show. But because she she you know, she figures quite importantly, and everything that happened to
00:16:42.240 you last fall. Do you do you have a girlfriend? Do you have friends come and visit you? Do you have a
00:16:49.520 social life? Not really. And that's mainly because my wish to die is still present. And my friends who
00:17:01.360 were involved in my life and my social circle don't want to spend any time with me knowing that I I want
00:17:13.760 to die and that's what I'm trying to pursue. And if I do ask them for help. It's it's mostly brushed
00:17:22.320 off. Like if I ask them, I need help to get dog food or I need help to go somewhere. It's often with a
00:17:31.280 response of, well, do you still want to die? Like what's your motive here? And the response is they
00:17:37.920 don't want to waste any time with me knowing that this is what I want to do. So it's very disheartening
00:17:45.760 because along the way, I was told to inform everyone in my life about my decision. And my friends
00:17:56.960 who I used to talk to aren't really understanding to any degree of what I go through.
00:18:03.280 They think that I'm I'm good looking, I can get girlfriends. But even when I'm on social media
00:18:14.160 apps, dating apps, a lot of a lot of my motivation isn't driven towards seeking out a partner to
00:18:25.440 spend time with because I have this in my mind that I'm going through so much pain. I can't
00:18:33.920 direct any of my attention away from my diabetes and having a flatline glucose
00:18:42.000 so that I don't experience discomfort.
00:18:47.120 Um, so Keanu, um, so you applied for MAID last year and, uh, and you were eventually approved.
00:18:55.280 Um, can you walk us through the process involved when you applied? Uh, what was it? Was it hard?
00:19:01.760 Uh, or was it relatively easy to get the process started?
00:19:07.360 Well, when I first applied in 2022,
00:19:13.200 Um, it was my second or third call to the coordination service in the beginning of April.
00:19:21.680 Uh, my first call was in 2018 and I was evaluated and it was concluded that the legislation would not
00:19:32.960 permit an assisted death. So not only did the legislation change in 2021, but also my condition worsened.
00:19:43.040 And after gathering, um, a lot of support from my vision loss and, and seeking out the best help I
00:19:53.680 can receive, the best treatment I can, um, I can find in the world.
00:19:57.680 I returned from the Bascon Palmer Eye Institute and knew that I had to call the MAID coordination
00:20:05.120 service because my life would, would be burdened with this, with this impairment. So the coordination
00:20:15.200 service, um, had all my information from previous years, and they said that a doctor would be in
00:20:22.240 touch with me within one to two weeks. That dragged on to the third week when I, when I called then and
00:20:30.880 said, what's the process looking like? Whereas the doctor hasn't contacted me. And the response was,
00:20:38.320 we've assigned you the same assessor from 2018 and he will be in touch with you. Uh, I wasn't happy
00:20:49.200 with that answer because I didn't hear anything from the doctor. So I looked through my contacts and
00:20:55.040 found his number. Um, I called him and I hung up immediately because I didn't know what the outcome of
00:21:04.800 the conversation would be. So after I guess he received a notification, he called me back immediately
00:21:12.480 and notified me that he's not going to proceed with the, um, at the application until he receives
00:21:20.480 a psychiatric assessment for capacity. And I was disgruntled by this because I knew that my,
00:21:29.760 uh, my psychiatrist practices at a Catholic hospital, it would be impossible for him to
00:21:40.240 assess me for a procedure that his workplace has policies against this procedure. So
00:21:49.680 against me against me. Yeah. So I, I voiced that concern. I said, where can we find a psychiatrist?
00:21:58.960 I mean, the maid coordination service doesn't have any, um, any resources in their database. I've been,
00:22:07.280 I was calling them and I flustered their lines daily to, um, to reach this next step in the proceed in
00:22:16.080 the application. When, um, um, when the first assessor, Dr. Joshua Tepper had, um, had acknowledged this,
00:22:30.960 he, um, he suggested, well, we can find a psychiatrist who also does maid, uh, procedures
00:22:40.640 and that would, uh, suffice for your second assessor. However, when I was asking the coordination service
00:22:49.600 for that requirement for a psychiatrist to provide me, uh, a maid assessment, they also fell short on
00:22:59.600 providing me of the resources. They said that there is this doctor we can suggest, her name is
00:23:10.480 uh, blah, blah, blah. And when I asked the doctor, my assessor, he said that she's a conscious
00:23:18.320 objector of track two applicants and I am a track two applicant. So I was frustrated to not only be
00:23:29.440 talking with a psychiatrist that would not actually assist me with my application, but also not find
00:23:35.600 another psychiatrist who could help me. Um, and after, after months of, of getting psychiatric treatment,
00:23:47.440 I constantly would mention maid to my psychiatrist. I'm taking my medication that they've prescribed for
00:23:56.160 depression. And they, the psychiatrist noted that I'm trying to fulfill enjoyment in my life. I attended
00:24:06.080 music festivals, concerts. Um, I would often go up to the mall with my service dogs. I would walk
00:24:12.720 around. I wasn't a lump on the log depressed in bed all day. So after noting this for months of psychiatric
00:24:24.880 consults, the assessor finally determined that I have medical capacity and he can finally
00:24:36.880 move along to the next process, my application to find a second assessor. I was so excited to hear that.
00:24:45.600 But, but I was also, uh, reluctant to get my hopes up because of the lack of resources, the coordination
00:24:55.200 service had already not provided. Uh, so sorry to interrupt Keanu, but, uh, and then I want you to
00:25:03.040 pick up where you left off. Um, can you provide us a timeline of, uh, when it is that you, um, called
00:25:10.480 uh, your, the doctor, I believe this was Dr. Joshua Tepper, the, uh, first assessor to the time that,
00:25:18.160 uh, to the time where you just, where, where, you know, you got according to you, this good news that
00:25:24.480 there was going to be a second assessor involved. Well, I, uh, first spoke with, uh, Dr. Tepper
00:25:32.160 Dr. Joshua Tepper when I found his number at the end of April, 2022, April 22. Okay. And, um,
00:25:44.560 this is all the while I was being treated for my psychiatric condition of depression and
00:25:53.040 Dr. Joshua Tepper, and through the, uh, consults, there was a, there was a rocky patch in my living
00:26:04.160 situation. Um, but after that, um, that rocky patch had happened in June of 2022, I believe it was
00:26:18.160 by July 2022, the psychiatrist concluded in his notes, uh, sufficient information for the first
00:26:29.200 assessor, Dr. Tepper to move along with the application. So, uh, now we're in July, 2022,
00:26:37.840 where I received that the second assessor may be assigned. I was calling the maid coordination
00:26:45.440 service, um, relentlessly asking, is there another assessor assigned yet? Is there any news about my
00:26:54.160 application? What can I do to make this process move along? And the response was just like my requests,
00:27:06.160 my calls were falling on deaf ears. I was transferred to this person. This person will call me back
00:27:10.480 and there was really no, um, no answer for me, no outcome until, um, until the doctor even received my,
00:27:22.640 uh, my barrage of calls and messages. He, he, I guess, kicked something into the maid coordination service.
00:27:33.520 There was some sort of, um, some sort of resource that, uh, flipped the switch and a second assessor
00:27:43.600 reached out to me. And when that happened in, um, in the middle of July, I believe we had, uh, uh,
00:27:57.920 virtual appointment, which is, is normal after COVID, especially with my disability and inability to,
00:28:08.160 to travel long distances. She, um, she met me face to face virtually and heard it from my, from my own
00:28:20.320 voice that I am requesting for medical assistance in dying. I confirmed my birth date. It was
00:28:27.920 um, that was quite easy, but what she had to do, I guess, was not what they had to do was not, um,
00:28:38.320 very straightforward. There was a lot of conversations with my, um, my specialist with
00:28:45.120 ophthalmology and endocrinology to gather more, um, more information about my conditions. And
00:28:55.360 I guess my capacity to control these conditions and deal with them.
00:29:00.800 And again, my, my requests, my calls, my messages were falling on deaf ears to both assessors now.
00:29:09.200 And I would have to call the maid coordination service to actually, um, say, Hey, you know,
00:29:15.200 the doctors aren't answering me and the doctors, all my requests are falling on deaf ears. Can you
00:29:21.200 somehow, uh, move the process along and the maid coordination service with the, then I guess,
00:29:28.800 send a message to the doctors, which resulted in a prompt response instead, we're still working on it.
00:29:36.880 We're still, um, I still need to speak with your endocrinologist. For example, that was one of the
00:29:42.960 responses, but, uh, but then when the evaluations were concluded in, in, I believe, August of 2022,
00:30:00.240 I was given the, the green light to start filling out the clinician aid, a form, which is, which would
00:30:09.840 be considered my written consent for medical assistance and dying. And as you know, I, I suffered
00:30:17.600 from, uh, vision loss. I wasn't able to actually fill out these forms. So I consulted with an organization,
00:30:27.760 dying with dignity, who actually was very helpful in completing these forms and assigning a proxy and a
00:30:36.880 witness to the proxy for my signature. And that was also virtually, um, there's two individuals involved
00:30:47.120 who, um, who read out everything on the paper, uh, wrote everything I had verbalized to them on paper,
00:30:59.200 and it was all witnessed. Then after having received those forms, uh, digitally, I had just forwarded them
00:31:09.680 to the first assessor. And I believe that was the, the document that was discovered through my email
00:31:18.480 dated August 11th.
00:31:22.160 Discovered by your sister, who then passed on this information to your mother.
00:31:26.560 Yes. Yes. Yes. And your sister, just to, just to let her, um, viewers and, um, listeners know this,
00:31:34.480 that, um, uh, that, that you got your sister to help you check your emails because you couldn't see.
00:31:43.120 This was because, um, not only for the disability application for important, um, important emails
00:31:54.320 I was receiving from the government, but I would always ask her before signing into my email address.
00:32:02.400 She even asked me, what's your password again? So I didn't actually believe she had complete access
00:32:09.280 to my email. And I never asked her to read any of those emails, uh, involving my medical assistance
00:32:17.760 and dying application. Uh, which might I add all of those, uh, emails from physicians were enclosed with a
00:32:28.560 patient privacy policy. So it was only for me to, to acknowledge and read what was on those, those forms
00:32:38.640 or those messages. And when I submitted that clinician aid form, the doctor questioned why my signature
00:32:49.360 is not on there. Um, he was again, very, um, thorough in making sure that this was above board. So he agreed
00:33:00.800 that I do have a disability that limits me from completing these forms. He saw that it was, um,
00:33:09.920 authorized by a representative dying with dignity. He was aware of the organization and he, he accepted
00:33:19.360 that, that submission of that form. When that happened, uh, we were able to then speak about, uh,
00:33:28.400 possible dates and the location it could take place. And I was renting, um, I was renting,
00:33:36.240 or sorry, stub leasing a basement apartment in Brampton, Ontario.
00:33:43.600 So I intended that I would have the procedure done there. My lease. This was in August, this was in
00:33:51.120 August or 2022. Yes. Okay. We started discussing dates after the clinician aid form was received.
00:34:01.920 Um, I told the doctor, I want to have it in the comfort of my own home. My lease is to expire October
00:34:10.320 1st. So, um, preferably before that date. So I can, I can have the accommodations met and
00:34:21.120 uh, uh, I wanted it to be on a Sunday evening. Uh, however, he said, uh, he usually does this on the
00:34:38.960 weekend in the morning. So. Uh, why is why a Sunday evening?
00:34:46.400 I wanted to have the weekend to
00:34:51.120 uh, explore my last days. I had a plan to, um, try to enjoy as much as life can offer.
00:35:01.360 And I still have until that appointment date and time to change my mind. So I was trying to accomplish,
00:35:10.320 um, some sort of, uh, bucket list. And I, I even thought about a gentleman's lounge going out with
00:35:22.640 all my friends, uh, spending all the money I had to, uh, kind of go out with a bank. But, uh, he said that
00:35:32.800 September 22 or September 28 works for him. And that would be, uh, at my house in Brampton.
00:35:42.240 Um, so Keanu, just, sorry, just, uh, just hold that thought. Uh, you said something very interesting
00:35:48.960 a couple of minutes ago. You said that you picked Sunday because, you know, you wanted to like, you know,
00:35:55.120 just take stock of everything that, that was, that had happened and was going to happen. And it would
00:36:00.560 also give you an opportunity. Um, if you were to change your mind, uh, if you're so sure about
00:36:08.080 medical assistance and dying as the way to go for you, do it, I, did you have doubts within you that
00:36:17.440 you may not want to go ahead with the procedure? I didn't have any doubts in my mind. However,
00:36:24.640 um, what I was hearing from everyone else was, was doubts. It was, you're so good looking. Um,
00:36:33.200 you have so much to bring to the table. You know, you can have so much fun. Life is worth living.
00:36:38.400 And I really wanted to hear what these people were saying. And I wanted to see it for myself.
00:36:43.360 I wanted to actually experience that with those people. Um, so that's why I planned out to,
00:36:51.600 I guess, um, go out with the bank, spend all my money and, and maybe along the way someone or
00:37:00.080 something would have changed my mind. But internally I had no, uh, doubts or fears of this. I was very
00:37:08.960 looking forward to the day. However, my, um, my lease was ended from a, uh, criminal accusation
00:37:21.440 of the indecent act. So on August 18th of 2022, I was arrested and charged with the indecent act,
00:37:31.920 which ultimately, uh, limited, uh, limited my accommodation to be met, having it in the comfort
00:37:38.640 of my own home. Uh, this frustrated me very much. So, and after telling the doctor everything that had
00:37:46.720 happened, uh, I noted that it can't happen here at my grandfather's house. My grandfather accepted me in,
00:37:56.080 uh, and I told him that it wouldn't, it wouldn't fly. Like the name of the property is not, it's not
00:38:06.560 under my name. He would have to get permission to this procedure. So I requested for, uh, location
00:38:14.480 where I can receive this procedure with comfort and discretion. He suggested, uh, place called the
00:38:22.880 maid house, MAID house, where he, uh, CC'd me on an email to the coordinator of that organization.
00:38:32.800 We were in touch about the same possible date dates. She also suggested September 22nd and also
00:38:40.080 September 28th. And I chose September 22nd as I did before, and it would be at this, um, this location.
00:38:50.560 I was kind of, uh, put off track from my plans. However, um, I readjusted, I found the bus routes,
00:39:00.640 how I would get there and what my, uh, my determination really showed in trying to,
00:39:07.120 to reach that date at the maid house. Yeah. This, um, conversation that you're
00:39:13.360 having with Dr. Joshua Tepper, uh, your, your, um, this physician, uh, one of your two assessors,
00:39:22.640 um, where he's, uh, we are talking about location. You're talking about dates. Is that,
00:39:28.160 is that a face-to-face conversation? Is that, uh, texting? Is it on Zoom? Uh, how, how were you
00:39:35.360 communicating with each other? Um, it was a combination of, like, on the phone, so telephone
00:39:43.120 calls and emails. I don't believe we spoke about this over text message. Um, and I also reiterated
00:39:54.320 that, you know, there might be a breach of private information from my email. Please send me text
00:40:01.040 messages. Please refrain from using this email address. But he also cited that, you know,
00:40:07.920 it's not gonna hurt to tell my family. I should be informing them every step of the way. And knowing
00:40:15.920 their first response to any evidence that I had of my application, I was very reluctant to share
00:40:26.480 the details, especially that it was, uh, weeks away. And that can, it can, I don't need to have my own,
00:40:36.880 uh, my own residence to do this. I could go to a designated facility and get this treatment discreetly.
00:40:45.600 And, um, my family just did not like that idea. The doctor was still message, uh, emailing me and,
00:40:55.520 and, um, also the coordinator from the maid house was also emailing me about dates. And I thought,
00:41:05.360 what's the worst that can happen? My sister sees the email. What can they possibly do? I already have
00:41:11.200 the approval and the date set with even the clinical itinerary of like, Hey, I want to know what the
00:41:20.640 timeline is, what the process is, because I wanted to attend with my service animals. I wanted them to
00:41:27.280 be there and that accommodation was met. So I was also needing to find someone to take over their care
00:41:38.480 and control them after the procedure was done. Um, so sorry, Keanu. So, uh, just, uh, just a quick
00:41:46.640 question. Um, um, what you told me about, you know, that, you know, as, as the day, uh, um, came,
00:41:57.680 you know, came, uh, as, as it, as it approached, um, you were hoping that someone in your life would,
00:42:04.480 uh, would step in and, uh, change your mind. Did you at any point communicate this to Dr. Tepper or
00:42:13.280 the other assessor? I wasn't hoping that someone would, uh, step in. In fact, I, I heard so much so
00:42:23.360 that it started to become a subliminal thought in my mind. Like, are they right? Are they saying this?
00:42:32.800 And am I selfish to not actually acknowledge, um, what they're saying? Is the selfish of me to,
00:42:42.320 um, to kind of dismiss everything they have to offer if they have anything to offer? So, um,
00:42:54.160 I had a meeting with my dad and my uncle who didn't really have a relationship with,
00:43:00.880 but I, I requested for, um, a substantial amount of money for the last 30 days said that the data set
00:43:12.880 time set,
00:43:13.600 is that I want, uh, a thousand dollars each day for the next 30 days to experience enjoyment.
00:43:25.120 And even if it doesn't change my mind, at least I enjoyed the last days of my life. It wasn't
00:43:35.760 in pain. It wasn't with grief. It wasn't suffering the whole way there.
00:43:40.240 Um, but it was declined. Uh, my uncle and his brother declined
00:43:50.080 and were not willing to assist me with anything regarding this application.
00:43:56.240 Until my aunt and my mom got involved after discovering the email,
00:44:05.200 they, um, they spoke to each other and said,
00:44:12.480 because my aunt knew that I was very close to her at the time in September,
00:44:16.240 the beginning of September, 2022,
00:44:18.240 she knew that there was a music festival approaching a three-day music festival that I
00:44:23.680 really wanted to attend. The tickets, however, were very expensive and a part of that, um,
00:44:31.200 amount of money I requested, I was going to use for that weekend. Uh, so when everyone knew that
00:44:44.080 the proof was there, it was very evident this is happening. Then surprisingly, my father said,
00:44:54.080 hey, I got you a wristband for the concert. I was so shocked because he's very against, um,
00:45:02.960 the concerts and alcohol with the exposure to drugs, especially that I'm blind.
00:45:10.400 I thought it'd be a very big risk for me to attend. So I got my sister involved as well.
00:45:21.120 Uh, you know, applying for MAID is, uh, you know, the most difficult decision anyone can make in their
00:45:27.280 life. Uh, did you feel that it was simply impossible, absolutely impossible to manage
00:45:36.400 your type one diabetes and vision loss? Um, it obviously makes your life extremely challenging.
00:45:43.280 Um, and you know, none of us can claim to, to know what you're going through, but the, what you're
00:45:52.080 going through is not in itself life threatening, right? Well, to say the least, um,
00:45:59.840 um, to say the least, I, I know it's a big decision. It's, it's grave and all of the accommodations I need
00:46:16.480 to have a life with enjoyment while sustaining the other aspects that life requires such as financial
00:46:32.000 housing, food, to live a comfortable life. I wasn't, I wasn't being accommodated
00:46:41.440 to the degree I see tolerable. I was raised with a caregiver from the age of 12. I had a caregiver
00:46:55.440 cooking and cleaning for me. I was very accustomed to, um, eating off of a silver plate. And
00:47:04.240 now more than ever, I needed that extra support in my life. Someone who can be my eyes and take charge of
00:47:15.360 things that I was unable unable to do. And the government, my family, especially my parents were,
00:47:25.200 um, were not there for me when I called out, when I called them out on this help.
00:47:30.960 I need caregiving support. And my mom is very, um, resourceful with that, having two businesses
00:47:40.560 to supply caregivers, even licensed caregivers in Ontario. She wasn't willing to provide me with
00:47:47.520 that care. Um, my dad has a substantial amount of money. He wasn't able to, uh, fund a comfortable life.
00:47:56.080 And after knowing that my life would be filled with not only pain, but, um, I would be a burden
00:48:07.600 onto myself and others having to live at my grandfather's house, whether I keep him company
00:48:13.600 or not, he, he doesn't, he doesn't, he's not required to drive anybody around anymore. He's done that with
00:48:22.080 his four children and even with his grandchildren up until, uh, you know, they've all grown up and I'm
00:48:30.560 grown up. However, I'm still demanding all these things from him, which is burdening him.
00:48:37.200 So after realizing, especially after coming back from the best iron suit in the world,
00:48:45.760 I knew that this would be my fate. I mean, there's nothing to look forward to, uh, blind. I can't
00:48:53.440 look past the, my arms reach and see clearly. So everything just became so dull in my life and I,
00:49:03.520 and I wasn't getting the help I asked for. Is that, is that why you're still seeking mate Keanu?
00:49:09.760 Well, yes, especially now, because I feel subjugated to my conditions and, um, people's
00:49:24.960 desire to keep me around, uh, you look healthy and you were good looking, isn't a reason at all
00:49:32.080 for me to suffer this much. Just, just the fact that I don't have the willingness or pleasure to seek out
00:49:46.400 a partner, a female partner and, um, and social friends. That in itself, um, is making it ever more
00:49:59.440 difficult for me to see something different, see a different outcome. So I've been constantly trying
00:50:07.680 to attend hospital emergency rooms, uh, requests were made from doctors who, uh, who I've heard
00:50:17.680 publicly offer made or have, uh, done procedures with the maid. But again, my mom will follow me to the
00:50:26.560 hospital and, um, again, safe, false information to try to control the situation and control my decision.
00:50:41.040 It's my own decision to make and no, no one, especially my, my family has given me a reason
00:50:50.160 that it's going to get better because it's just gotten worse since September 22nd. There's been more
00:50:56.880 safeguards and preventions against me accessing the medical care I desire.
00:51:02.320 And so these are interventions, uh, from your mother, by your mother and members of your family,
00:51:11.840 or is it the medical profession as well? No, it's mostly my, my family. It's my mom,
00:51:19.280 her husband, who's the lawyer had criminal proceedings with my dad, um, which an altercation
00:51:27.200 was premeditated and provoked. Um, and that results in a house arrest. I'm only allowed
00:51:35.360 to leave for medical emergencies and I don't have proper legal representation. Until recently,
00:51:44.480 I've received a legal aid certificate, but I don't, I don't see hope.
00:51:52.320 The story of how you got denied MAID is something I wrote about last year, uh, for the Free Press.
00:51:59.920 Uh, you, you, you're an adult seeking MAID, you were an adult seeking MAID, and yet you weren't
00:52:05.440 able to get it because your sister and your mother discovered these emails, um, where you had
00:52:12.320 essentially been approved for MAID and your mother took to social media and, uh, and, and called up the
00:52:19.120 doctor. And, and, and so he was forced to back off, um, uh, from, from, from your case. Um, and, um,
00:52:29.600 you know, so you're an adult seeking MAID, how did that make you feel that you had your mother
00:52:34.880 intervening in this manner? Did you feel that your freedom of choice to make the choice you thought
00:52:40.560 was right for yourself was somehow violated? It was very much violated. It's unconstitutional. And I
00:52:48.480 don't think there's any, um, any history of this. So there's nothing really to work off of. There's
00:52:54.480 no case law that says, um, this is the procedure we take when this happens. It's also new, uh, to
00:53:04.640 everyone. And I, I felt very abused. Um, and especially after September 22nd passed, I felt very neglected
00:53:16.480 by my family because they, they said, Hey, we accomplished our goal. The doctor backed off
00:53:25.920 and Keanu's still here. And I said, well, now what? And no one was there to answer my,
00:53:33.520 my calls for help. I requested for caregiving support. I requested for medicinal support
00:53:41.200 because my medicines are not all free. Um,
00:53:46.880 specifically my insulin needles are not free. Medicinal cannabis is not free.
00:53:53.920 Transportation to my appointments is not free. And the government support I'm receiving
00:54:00.560 is not sufficient. So when I turned to my family, the next of kin to the doctors or the government,
00:54:10.160 I felt very much neglected. And I felt unloved. I didn't feel love, uh, when that happened. And still to this
00:54:21.840 day, I, I'm requesting for caregiving support from my mother's two businesses. She's, she's unable to
00:54:30.800 provide that for me. It in fact seems like I have to negotiate on the terms of my life when it's not in
00:54:43.040 her hands to decide. It's not in anybody else's hands to decide other than my own. Um, I feel less
00:54:50.560 than a person. I, I don't feel equal in society because this decision has been taken away from me
00:55:00.720 unconstitutionally. I feel very violated to say the least.
00:55:04.480 Um, at any point, did any of the medical professionals that you came in contact with
00:55:11.520 any of the counselors, uh, who were involved in your case, uh, any, any of these people that you
00:55:17.760 spoke to along the way, did any of them try to discourage you from going ahead with MAID, uh,
00:55:23.440 or, or did they encourage you or for that matter, just remain neutral?
00:55:28.480 Um, most of the time it was neutrality, but also discouragement, um, in seeing that and seeing
00:55:41.440 my mother's actions and seeing a regular mother and son relationship anybody has, they acknowledge
00:55:50.320 their love that they have for their mother or the love they receive from their mother. But it is far
00:55:57.440 from my reality with my relationship. And that's what hurts the most is because
00:56:05.360 they're extremely misinterpreting my situation for theirs. It, it's so frustrating that even the slightest,
00:56:19.440 the slightest resemblance to a mother and son relationship has
00:56:27.600 an impact on someone's either ability to discourage or encourage, nobody has ever encouraged me on this
00:56:36.960 decision. And it's, it's frustrating that nobody is even assisting me with this decision. It's mainly
00:56:48.480 because of the illegal injunctions that have been made and everyone feels threatened to help me accomplish
00:56:55.920 this. It's, it's so sad. I'm very sad. And it's ever more difficult to deal with these conditions when
00:57:04.720 I have this at the back of my head all the time. Yeah. I mean, given what you've been through,
00:57:11.600 uh, I wonder Keanu, what would be your advice for anyone facing a difficult situation such as yourself?
00:57:21.680 Would you, uh, encourage them to consider a mate, for example, would you, or would you, uh, maybe take a different
00:57:28.880 approach with them and, and encourage them to maybe, you know, try to get some family support or other
00:57:37.520 kinds of support? Um, basically if someone was in a bad state, a really bad state, mentally, emotionally,
00:57:44.800 and physically, and they asked you for your advice, what would you tell them?
00:57:48.240 Well, to start, I would, I would suggest considering my family hasn't really been supportive of it.
00:58:00.000 I would suggest treading very lightly when speaking of their decision to medical assistance in dying.
00:58:10.160 It's not, um, it's not widely accepted by popular belief. It's, it's,
00:58:17.680 and it's inhumane. And to that, I would, I would strongly suggest
00:58:27.280 taking the right precautions when discussing this with people in your life and especially with your
00:58:37.760 doctors to be very truthful because they are the only ones that can be neutral in this situation. I was,
00:58:47.920 extremely honest and I, I said things I never even, uh, I never even really knew about myself when,
00:59:00.560 when asked questions and it would just be a domino effect of truth after truth after truth. You can't
00:59:07.280 really get there with someone who you have already made some sort of, um, precautions when speaking with
00:59:17.680 them. So to start, I would say, be very cautious with those you love and those who love you. Um, because
00:59:28.880 it's not, it's not very, uh, it's not taken very lightly. I would suggest to be very thorough in their
00:59:37.360 care plan and their treatment with their doctors, being as honest as possible, not only to the doctors,
00:59:43.520 but to themselves as well, trying to explore all possible remedies and treatments.
00:59:49.440 Even if that means, um, going online anonymously and talking to, to others where you don't have to
01:00:05.040 share your voice or your face where you can feel more comfortable, then you can really understand
01:00:13.040 if this is for you or it's just a phase. And yeah, I think that's the best thing I can say as advice.
01:00:22.320 Okay. Um, how optimistic are you, um, given that you still want to go through with MAID,
01:00:30.400 how optimistic are you that, uh, you, you would, you're going, you'll get approved sometime in the
01:00:36.400 near future? Well, after going to the hospital recently in North York, Ontario, I was, uh,
01:00:49.600 uh, I was shot down basically my idea or my request was shot down
01:00:59.200 because it's always circled back to, uh, suicidal ideolations and yes, assisted death is a species
01:01:09.040 of suicide, but it doesn't overtake all the other problems
01:01:18.800 I or anybody is dealing with. It could be a consequential effect of someone's condition,
01:01:29.360 but make no mistake. It's not the first thing to be treated. And that's where I felt
01:01:36.960 like I was silenced. I felt like everything else, a part of my history was dismissed and it was only
01:01:52.080 focused on suicidal ideolations. So now I'm very, I'm very optimistic. And that's really the only thing
01:02:04.560 that's helping me treat my conditions now with insulin and my eye drops. It's really the only thing
01:02:12.400 making me go forward because I've applied in a different country for volunteer assisted death
01:02:20.320 where the laws are more liberal. And although it is not a funded program, it's not financially covered.
01:02:33.200 I did receive a, um, I did receive an approval for financial remedy to this procedure. I also wrote, uh,
01:02:47.520 about 50 pages of my life story and reasons why I want to die. Why I want an assisted death.
01:02:56.080 And I'm very hopeful to attend that organization.
01:03:00.480 So what, what country, uh, is this, uh, Keanu?
01:03:04.960 Switzerland.
01:03:06.160 Switzerland. Okay.
01:03:08.480 Um, after calling the maid coordination service, um, here in February, when I was connected with
01:03:16.640 the nurse practitioner, who's been in contact on my file for years now, since my first application,
01:03:23.680 she said, it's, it's your story is on the media on national television. Everybody in Canada has
01:03:30.320 access to what had happened. It's very unlikely that a doctor is going to assist you now considering
01:03:38.000 all that your mother has said and done. I felt so defeated when I heard that. And I, I didn't eat
01:03:45.600 for days. I didn't care for my insulin for days. It was so frustrating to hear that because in my own
01:03:52.560 country with the charter and rights and freedoms we have as Canadians, I felt so violated.
01:04:00.320 to hear that. And I felt very dejected, very dejected to my life.
01:04:09.440 I know, I know things, uh, haven't gone the way you hoped. Um, this is a final question for you.
01:04:16.800 How, how does it feel, uh, how does it feel, uh, to still be alive?
01:04:21.760 Um, like I said, I feel very dejected. I feel very, um, um, I feel pain and I think of things
01:04:39.120 e more, uh, immoral. I think of things very immorally. I don't have much care to maintain
01:04:47.600 what I have now. Um, I've lost touch with humanity because I considered myself to die months ago.
01:05:00.000 And since that didn't happen, my reaction to things are very careless, especially with my relationships
01:05:10.880 and things that I say to people.
01:05:18.320 Well, uh, yeah, it's, um, you know, it's a challenging situation to be in and, uh, um,
01:05:27.040 you know, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm, I'm sorry that, um, you know, that you feel this way, but, um,
01:05:33.120 um, Keanu, I want to thank you for your courage, uh, coming on the show, uh, in talking about
01:05:39.040 something as difficult, as complex and, uh, as emotional as, uh, medical assistance in dying.
01:05:46.160 Um, I, I really want to thank you from the bottom of my heart and I really wish you all the very best,
01:05:52.560 uh, on the path that you choose to follow.
01:05:54.800 Yes. Thank you so much for having me, Rupa. I appreciate your time and consideration along
01:06:01.040 the way since I've been speaking for months now. Um, I appreciate your neutrality in this,
01:06:09.200 um, because I haven't had, I haven't really had anybody that, uh, that sees eye to eye with me on
01:06:18.560 this, on this decision I'm making. So thank you for your sensitivity.
01:06:22.560 Thank you, Keanu. Um, you take care.