Juno News - July 04, 2022


You are racist if you have a lawn


Episode Stats

Length

3 minutes

Words per Minute

197.96815

Word Count

721

Sentence Count

49

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 And we always try to end things on a bit of a lighter note.
00:00:02.460 So we're going to call you all racists if you have front lawns.
00:00:06.040 That's our version of a lighter note here on Fake News Friday,
00:00:09.260 because also the Toronto Star, interestingly enough,
00:00:11.900 they're on the greatest hits list this week.
00:00:14.120 As a column, lawns are an outdated cultural norm.
00:00:18.460 Let's lose them before we lose the pollinators.
00:00:22.000 And they say that being a lawn owner used to be a symbol of being rich,
00:00:26.000 rich enough to hold land and not need to farm on it.
00:00:28.920 But this is just an outdated cultural norm.
00:00:30.940 It's classist.
00:00:32.020 It's supposed to differentiate the aristocrats from the farmers.
00:00:34.960 And now it's just a sign of societal excess.
00:00:38.080 But this is actually part of a longstanding grievance that people have
00:00:42.360 that we can go back to a Globe and Mail piece a couple of years ago
00:00:45.600 about the need to decolonize the lawn.
00:00:48.980 We need to decolonize the lawn because a lawn is you saying that you're vanquishing nature,
00:00:54.120 which is a part, according to one history professor, of settler culture.
00:00:58.520 So if you have a lawn, you are disenfranchising Indigenous people
00:01:02.780 and you are a classist aristocrat.
00:01:05.240 I think I've gotten it right.
00:01:06.980 I think you do.
00:01:08.140 And I'm reading this quote from the Globe and Mail piece from 2020.
00:01:12.340 And it's at the back end of a longer quote from a Canadian history professor.
00:01:18.080 And he says, when he's talking about backyards this time, not front lawns,
00:01:22.420 he says, a backyard with a big lawn is like a classroom for colonialism and environmental hostility.
00:01:28.940 So I guess they're really upset about nice lawns.
00:01:33.040 And this funny thing is from the Toronto Star,
00:01:36.600 when they talk about the time, you know, the lawn is an outdated cultural norm,
00:01:41.420 we should just, I guess, bulldoze the lawns and pave them over.
00:01:45.260 And they say, of course, that the reason the lawn is a problem is because of biodiversity and climate crises.
00:01:53.140 So those competing biodiversity and climate crises.
00:01:56.220 What better way, Andrew, to solve those climate crises than to just pave over your lawns?
00:02:00.820 Yeah, we got to do the Joni Mitchell song,
00:02:02.820 Pave Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot.
00:02:04.780 So everyone needs a concrete front yard.
00:02:06.880 Now, in fairness, there are people that have turned their lawns,
00:02:09.480 I forget the term, I think it's like living lawns or something,
00:02:11.760 or they do like front lawn gardens.
00:02:13.800 And if you're going to tend to them, that's very nice.
00:02:15.400 But I assure you, if I were to turn my front lawn into a garden of some kind,
00:02:19.520 because I can barely grow grass.
00:02:20.800 So I'm not decolonized.
00:02:22.620 I'm not colonizing anyone because I can't, you know, grow anything but weeds there.
00:02:26.320 Not weed, weeds.
00:02:27.800 And this is the thing that I find hilarious,
00:02:30.880 that we all need to just like let the bees take over, apparently.
00:02:34.020 And that, I mean, this planet of the apes is going to be planet of the bees,
00:02:36.540 because that's the only way to outdate the outdated norm,
00:02:40.600 make it outdated, whatever the case is, who knows?
00:02:43.000 Well, yeah, and if you did that, Andrew,
00:02:44.820 you'd be following the Toronto Star's guideline.
00:02:47.240 You'd be following their manual in it.
00:02:48.660 They say to maintain natural debris, including dead stems and dry leaves.
00:02:54.140 What may seem messy to some people is habitat to wildlife.
00:02:56.980 So, you know, if you have a lawn, just let it go.
00:02:59.580 Let it kind of be an awful mess.
00:03:02.040 Let weeds grow in it and leave, leave a bunch of, I don't know,
00:03:07.460 you know, dead, dead branches and dead stems in it.
00:03:10.180 I mean, this is...
00:03:11.440 No, this is great, Harrison.
00:03:12.480 When my wife asked me to rake the leaves in the fall,
00:03:15.020 I'll just say, ah, I'm decolonizing.
00:03:18.420 I can't rake the leaves.
00:03:19.360 They've got to stay.
00:03:20.400 They've got to stay there.
00:03:21.420 And I'm just listening to the Toronto Star.
00:03:23.460 Yeah, well, I won't use that because I don't think that's authoritative,
00:03:26.240 but I'll appeal to our greater goals as a society to move beyond colonization.
00:03:32.280 Last year, the issue was we couldn't fly the Canadian flag.
00:03:35.020 This year, you can't grow your grass.
00:03:36.480 So do whatever works for you there.