JustPearlyThings - August 25, 2023


21-Year-Old Tells Us Why Marriage Doesn't Matter...


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

218.52113

Word count

2,576

Sentence count

235

Harmful content

Misogyny

40

sentences flagged

Hate speech

26

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the topic of if or not if a woman should get married if she s in a committed relationship with her husband. We also talk about if a guy is more committed when he s in love with his wife.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I have a question, I have a question.
00:00:01.360 Do they have husbands? 1.00
00:00:02.980 Yes.
00:00:03.820 No, not except.
00:00:04.900 We can't say that.
00:00:05.740 Okay, okay, so you know one, but most don't.
00:00:07.800 No, no, I know like a few.
00:00:09.360 There's a lot who have.
00:00:10.520 But like we said, marriage means shit.
00:00:12.540 So why was your first reaction one?
00:00:14.980 Oh, I know one.
00:00:16.200 Because most, okay, what do you, okay, I have a question.
00:00:18.700 Do the majority have husbands? 1.00
00:00:20.500 How do we know that?
00:00:21.340 Yes, no, okay, no, no, no.
00:00:23.320 Do the majority, guys will date a girl 0.90
00:00:25.540 for a couple years and bounce if she's hot. 1.00
00:00:27.360 No, a lot of people do it from like,
00:00:28.600 when they're like, you know, they've been like
00:00:30.280 from together since a young age
00:00:32.220 and then they'll both start it.
00:00:33.520 It's not like, you know, they'll do it together.
00:00:35.580 That's because they've got a kink. 1.00
00:00:36.540 Again, again, I just need you to answer yes or no.
00:00:39.720 Does it really matter if they're married?
00:00:41.560 Yes, does the majority, does the majority have husbands? 1.00
00:00:45.160 No.
00:00:46.000 Okay, there we go.
00:00:47.020 So why is it matter?
00:00:47.860 Correct, correct.
00:00:48.700 That's not relevant if she has a husband or not. 1.00
00:00:50.380 She's making a point about.
00:00:51.780 Why does marriage always matter? 1.00
00:00:52.840 She's probably making more money than any other 1.00
00:00:54.520 that goes on the couch.
00:00:55.680 It does.
00:00:56.520 Marriage matters because it's, 0.88
00:00:58.400 it's a stable relationship with two people
00:01:00.580 that respect each other.
00:01:01.420 No, because like, it doesn't matter if you're married.
00:01:03.140 It doesn't make you.
00:01:04.020 So you're saying her marriage doesn't matter?
00:01:05.800 Did I say that?
00:01:06.720 You just did.
00:01:07.560 Her husband's hot.
00:01:08.400 I said that if you're married.
00:01:09.400 Okay, okay.
00:01:10.240 Did I say, oh, your marriage doesn't matter? 0.53
00:01:11.400 No, I said if you're married.
00:01:13.160 Do you think, you don't think marriage matters?
00:01:15.920 Not now, no.
00:01:16.800 Like people get divorced, like.
00:01:18.360 She's 22.
00:01:19.200 She doesn't know any difference.
00:01:20.040 She's 22. Sorry, I apologize.
00:01:21.380 I'm 21, actually.
00:01:22.380 21. Sorry, I've over-aged you.
00:01:24.000 She's 21.
00:01:24.560 She doesn't know any difference.
00:01:25.340 She's too young.
00:01:26.120 It's because I've seen like so many people get divorced,
00:01:29.060 like marriages don't work now. 0.99
00:01:31.040 Like, I honestly, I see your point of view a little bit, right?
00:01:36.940 I understand that marriage isn't marriage anymore
00:01:39.260 because most people get divorced.
00:01:41.340 But we have to admit that getting a guy to marry you
00:01:44.860 is a far higher level of commitment than a guy dating you.
00:01:48.740 It's a flex.
00:01:49.580 Yeah.
00:01:50.420 And we can agree that a guy is more committed
00:01:52.760 when he's married, right?
00:01:54.200 Yes.
00:01:55.040 So the fact that the majority of-
00:01:56.040 I don't know if I agree with that either.
00:01:57.040 No, I don't agree with that either.
00:01:58.360 Okay, you don't think him putting you in a position
00:02:01.780 where you can take half his shit is more committed?
00:02:04.180 Yeah, but you can't-
00:02:05.020 I'm not saying it's good.
00:02:06.580 I don't really see it like that.
00:02:08.020 It's just from my experience, I'm not married.
00:02:10.360 I've had, and a lot of my friends are,
00:02:12.460 but they go through the motions where they date,
00:02:16.660 going out with something, it's steady.
00:02:18.420 And it's just like the next step to get engaged,
00:02:21.560 to get married.
00:02:22.700 Right.
00:02:23.540 It doesn't necessarily mean that they love you more
00:02:25.580 or committed, unfortunately,
00:02:27.140 sometimes they just sort of go through those steps.
00:02:29.420 She's trying to be different so bad.
00:02:30.580 It's like pissing me off.
00:02:31.820 Like, oh, it doesn't mean they really love you.
00:02:33.660 Like-
00:02:34.500 It doesn't.
00:02:35.340 No, I'm not saying that they don't.
00:02:36.300 I'm just saying from my experience, from my friendship
00:02:38.740 group, that it's, that's what's happened.
00:02:41.300 Well, what do you think, what do you think marriage is?
00:02:44.580 You don't think it's boring going through the motions?
00:02:48.140 Well, I'm not married.
00:02:49.020 I've just seen, unfortunately, with some friends,
00:02:51.780 it's worked out for them, and some it hasn't.
00:02:53.740 They go through the motions.
00:02:54.900 They're in a social group where, you know,
00:02:56.940 you get together, you're friends, and then, you know,
00:02:59.660 you're dating for a while.
00:03:00.900 And going through those steps, and then you get married.
00:03:03.340 And yeah, okay, it's a sign of them being more committed,
00:03:06.300 but I don't know necessarily if they're in love.
00:03:09.500 Okay, okay.
00:03:10.420 Do you think love is a choice or a feeling?
00:03:14.300 Both.
00:03:15.140 Um, that's tricky.
00:03:20.140 Uh, a choice, a choice.
00:03:24.660 Okay, so wouldn't, wouldn't they be choosing to love each other
00:03:27.820 if they're married?
00:03:28.700 Um, some.
00:03:30.700 I, I, it's, I don't know, yeah, they should be.
00:03:34.620 And you would agree.
00:03:35.460 But unfortunately, some in my friendship groups,
00:03:38.500 it hasn't worked out that way.
00:03:39.780 Okay, and you would agree that they're more committed.
00:03:41.620 They feel it under pressure.
00:03:42.740 Wouldn't, wouldn't you agree, wouldn't you agree that
00:03:45.420 they're more committed than the people that are not married?
00:03:49.380 Yes.
00:03:50.020 No, maybe on paper.
00:03:51.380 On paper.
00:03:52.300 Okay, would you agree the men are more committed?
00:03:54.380 No.
00:03:55.380 What? Because they're getting married.
00:03:56.380 Because they spent all this money on a wedding.
00:03:58.740 They spent all the money on a ring.
00:03:59.940 I think on paper, on the surface,
00:04:02.380 it looks like they're committed.
00:04:04.140 Behind the doors, in general.
00:04:06.220 They're cheating and doing all kinds of.
00:04:08.060 She's quite right.
00:04:08.580 Yeah, she's right.
00:04:09.940 No, I agree, most married, I've, I've, most married men
00:04:13.020 I've not personally come in contact just through friends
00:04:15.460 and that aren't faithful, which is kind of terrifying
00:04:18.140 for somebody who's me who wants to get married
00:04:19.580 and live that kind of normal, traditional 2.5 kids.
00:04:22.340 Are most women today faithful? 1.00
00:04:24.020 No.
00:04:26.060 It's complex.
00:04:26.900 No, again, it's, it's subjective.
00:04:29.140 Like men and women who are equal,
00:04:31.420 both will do equally as shit stuff
00:04:33.100 as the other person would do.
00:04:34.580 I just don't understand why being unfaithful is like this,
00:04:39.100 you know, people used to cheat and they'd work through it
00:04:42.620 and it didn't have to be the end of the world.
00:04:45.100 So I just don't understand why we're in this society
00:04:47.420 where we tell women that you're the absolute victim 0.59
00:04:50.460 if you get cheated on.
00:04:51.460 Because women think they can do that. 1.00
00:04:52.700 When most women, like they post ass pictures on Instagram, 1.00
00:04:56.380 they have open Instagram, they're talking,
00:04:58.460 they have male friends, they're talking to other guys
00:05:00.980 all the time.
00:05:01.820 Like, you know, yeah, go ahead.
00:05:03.860 What about like the women who don't do that stuff? 1.00
00:05:05.780 Like genuine, like conservative Christian woman 1.00
00:05:08.780 who don't act like that.
00:05:10.900 And their husband, like they're fully committed
00:05:12.820 to someone traditionally
00:05:14.380 and they're in like a conservative Christian marriage,
00:05:16.260 which is what I want in my life, right?
00:05:18.260 I don't act like that on the internet anymore.
00:05:20.460 And they cheat on me.
00:05:22.260 Then I don't have the right to get upset,
00:05:24.100 especially like under God and stuff.
00:05:25.540 Well, I, okay.
00:05:26.700 I think you have a right to get upset.
00:05:28.860 I didn't say anyone can't get upset, but my,
00:05:30.900 no, my, no, I'm not saying who cares.
00:05:33.020 I'm saying, I don't think it's the end of the world.
00:05:35.220 And I think it can be worked through.
00:05:37.020 And I personally know women that maybe their, 1.00
00:05:40.260 their husband cheated 20 years ago.
00:05:42.020 They worked through it.
00:05:42.700 They're happier than ever.
00:05:43.900 And I think all we ever hear in media is like,
00:05:46.300 it's the end of the world.
00:05:47.740 And we never talk about the part the woman played
00:05:50.540 because a lot of women like demasculate men so much 1.00
00:05:53.900 and they just criticize him so much that he just wants
00:05:56.220 to go somewhere and feel like a man.
00:05:58.740 And I'm talking like traditional.
00:06:00.180 So people, so no, no, no.
00:06:02.460 And I, and I, and I think it's very rare to find a wife
00:06:04.820 who's perfect.
00:06:06.100 I think nobody's perfect.
00:06:07.100 Correct.
00:06:07.940 And so that's my point.
00:06:09.100 It's like, let's make sure we're clean and perfect before
00:06:12.580 we break up and into perfect.
00:06:14.980 And that's my point.
00:06:16.060 Like we have to remember, it doesn't give him the right,
00:06:19.660 but I'm saying men are human and I, and I,
00:06:22.940 but they're not exactly the, they're not animals, right?
00:06:25.300 They're human.
00:06:26.140 I'm not saying they're animals, but I'm saying,
00:06:27.860 I think it's silly to tell women to leave every time
00:06:31.140 you get cheated on.
00:06:32.300 I agree with you.
00:06:33.540 I think again, it's a generational thing.
00:06:35.460 I agree with you.
00:06:36.540 Women now, again, are more inclined to go, okay, 1.00
00:06:40.260 I'm done with it because man's cheated me.
00:06:41.700 He's made me feel less than I am because there's a thousand men
00:06:45.500 who are trying to swipe into them, slide in their DMS.
00:06:47.820 Cause they have those options.
00:06:49.740 Whereas back in the day it was like, Oh no, no, it's my husband.
00:06:51.820 I'm going to work on it.
00:06:52.540 I think it's really sad that in society nowadays that women 1.00
00:06:55.460 think there's always something better.
00:06:57.460 Whereas you can just work on establishing that.
00:06:59.780 And I interview, like, I've heard stories of like moms
00:07:03.260 where the mom left because she got cheated on.
00:07:05.260 The dad gets remarried.
00:07:06.260 The mom's single. 0.89
00:07:07.020 Is she better off now?
00:07:08.300 No.
00:07:08.700 Is that a better life for her? 0.99
00:07:10.540 And I like, I'm not excusing it.
00:07:12.380 I'm not saying it's okay, but like we were supposed to be,
00:07:14.700 we were supposed to be virgins on our wedding days.
00:07:17.180 If you think of the emotional distress of the woman
00:07:19.580 that's going to have to stay with a man who's cheated on it. 1.00
00:07:21.420 You have to constantly day by day go think, who's he texting?
00:07:23.740 No, no, no, no.
00:07:24.500 But you choose to do that.
00:07:25.980 No, it's hard to get over it.
00:07:27.900 It is a choice.
00:07:29.020 Well, marriages, you're supposed to do hard things. 1.00
00:07:31.020 Women back in the day didn't have the choice. 1.00
00:07:33.020 That's the thing.
00:07:33.460 Whereas 2023 women do have the choice. 0.99
00:07:35.300 They have an option to do better than they have done,
00:07:37.460 to accept, to realize they expect and they deserve more.
00:07:41.140 Well, but you see, I let that deserve.
00:07:43.540 See, it's like.
00:07:44.180 Because women do deserve as men deserve. 1.00
00:07:46.020 Men deserve.
00:07:46.740 I don't think anyone deserves anything.
00:07:49.140 Everyone does.
00:07:49.700 I think if you commit, if you commit into a relationship
00:07:53.620 and you are married, one second,
00:07:55.460 if you commit to a relationship and you're married,
00:07:57.780 it's a contractual agreement that you have decided,
00:08:00.180 you and me, we're a team, that's it.
00:08:02.180 And if someone breaks that, I do think it's too easy nowadays.
00:08:06.180 Do you think women, we should break it? 1.00
00:08:09.460 Do you think men should break the marriage contract 0.99
00:08:11.620 because we're not coming in as virgins?
00:08:13.060 Should they not marry us? 0.92
00:08:14.020 But they choose to marry you knowing full fact 0.51
00:08:16.020 that that might not be the case, right?
00:08:17.540 So they already know that.
00:08:19.140 So that's done and dusted.
00:08:20.500 Let's get over it.
00:08:21.460 Now it's the guy, right?
00:08:23.220 Let's get over it.
00:08:24.020 Should men break the marriage contract 0.68
00:08:25.620 if a woman gets fat in a marriage? 1.00
00:08:28.740 Maybe.
00:08:29.300 Yes.
00:08:30.180 Wow.
00:08:30.820 I mean, it depends why she gets fat, right? 0.99
00:08:32.820 Why does it depend?
00:08:33.860 I don't know.
00:08:34.180 What if it's something he's done?
00:08:36.260 Does it depend why he cheated?
00:08:37.860 You never ask the guys.
00:08:39.620 I actually wanted to point this out.
00:08:40.820 So you said it depends on why she's getting fat. 1.00
00:08:43.300 So...
00:08:43.860 What if it's a medical thing?
00:08:45.220 That's my point.
00:08:45.780 But essentially, what you're trying to say is because
00:08:48.340 some of the reasons why women get fat 1.00
00:08:49.540 is actually because of their hormones sometimes.
00:08:51.300 I know that.
00:08:51.700 Could be.
00:08:52.340 Good.
00:08:52.580 So what you're essentially saying is in a marriage,
00:08:54.580 a man has to deal with a woman's hormones. 1.00
00:08:56.260 So for instance, when she's on a period,
00:08:58.100 we have to deal with all the bullshit that comes with that.
00:09:00.260 When she gets fat because of her hormones,
00:09:02.020 we have to deal with that.
00:09:03.060 But then you never think about the problems
00:09:05.620 that men face with our own hormones, which is testosterone.
00:09:08.660 That's true.
00:09:09.060 Yeah.
00:09:09.300 What have I got to do with being fat?
00:09:10.500 I actually hadn't finished what I was saying.
00:09:12.340 Go ahead, go ahead.
00:09:12.900 So if he does cheat or whatever, if he is sorry for cheating and he really is making an effort
00:09:21.780 to make it right, then I think you should probably try and make that work because you've already
00:09:26.900 made this, it's through thick and thin, good and bad, all that stuff.
00:09:30.260 But if he has said, okay, I cheated on you.
00:09:33.300 And now I want the, the, the, the woman I had an affair with to be my next girlfriend. 1.00
00:09:37.540 And I don't care about you.
00:09:38.660 Then what does the wife is food? 1.00
00:09:40.100 Well, it's, I think like, and again, you know, studies can say anything,
00:09:43.460 but the studies I've seen, it's like 50 to 70% of the time.
00:09:46.740 It's a one to two time thing.
00:09:48.820 Yeah.
00:09:49.060 So it's like knowing that the majority of, of cheating is a one-time thing.
00:09:53.460 I just think it's in our best interest to try to get through it.
00:09:56.820 And especially, I think it's tough for guys nowadays, because women walk around half naked. 1.00
00:10:01.540 You know, like men have so much testosterone.
00:10:03.540 I love being naked.
00:10:04.500 They should be able to, everyone should be able to, not naked, everyone keep your pants on.
00:10:09.540 I just went to Vegas and chicks had stickies on their boobs and they're walking around no top 1.00
00:10:14.900 or in a thong and just, you know.
00:10:16.980 That's how you naturally are.
00:10:18.180 Why not?
00:10:18.820 Well, I, I think that's hard for men.
00:10:21.060 Like men have all of this testosterone, you know, that's a very tough.
00:10:24.900 They actually don't care about testosterone. 0.99
00:10:27.140 So you say women should be able to walk around naked. 1.00
00:10:29.540 And in the same breath, you're saying men should be faithful to their wives.
00:10:32.660 But in the same breath, you're also saying that that same man that should be faithful to you
00:10:35.540 should be able to go out and accept the fact that every woman out there 1.00
00:10:38.260 should just be able to walk around naked.
00:10:39.780 If you go to a nudist beach, no one wants to have sex with any of them.
00:10:43.860 And they run around naked all day long.
00:10:45.700 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:46.580 I just need to repeat this.
00:10:47.540 You think that the men don't want to have sex at nudist beaches? 1.00
00:10:50.340 I mean, maybe one or two of them.
00:10:51.540 You don't think?
00:10:51.940 But they're all pretty like, I don't like seeing the naked people.
00:10:53.860 Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:10:55.700 I want you to just logically think through this.
00:10:57.700 You think that if the naked women went up to the men on the beach 1.00
00:11:02.260 and offered them sex, they would say no. 0.55
00:11:04.260 Have you seen them?
00:11:05.060 Some of them wear like sandals and socks.
00:11:06.900 I don't think they think about it.
00:11:08.900 I need a yes or a no.
00:11:10.900 I just don't think.
00:11:13.060 I think they're not in the mind frame.
00:11:14.420 No, no, I need a yes or a no.
00:11:16.180 They don't go around with their penises. 1.00
00:11:17.940 All right, I'm going to ask the question again.
00:11:19.700 I'm going to ask the question again.
00:11:20.900 I don't think so.
00:11:21.940 Do you think the majority of men, if a naked woman is in front of them and offering them. 0.98
00:11:26.900 You've changed the question, go to the nudist beach.
00:11:30.020 Okay, what is she on the nudist beach?
00:11:31.940 What is she?
00:11:33.060 Naked, on the nudist beach where everyone's naked.
00:11:35.700 I think no one cares.
00:11:36.580 Okay, okay, we're going to.
00:11:37.700 No, people do care.
00:11:38.820 How much of the population go to nudist beach?
00:11:40.660 You're actually talking about the niche type of people that go there.
00:11:43.140 Well, we started there.
00:11:45.620 I mean, it's quite a novel thing, right?