JustPearlyThings - May 21, 2023


25 Year Old Woman Wants An ARRANGED MARRIAGE

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Male Feminist Tries Mansplaining Pearl Drunk Feminist Tries To Corner Pearl With This Question

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

220.38

Word count

2,416

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

22

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about why women in their 20s and 30s tend to be single and why this is a problem. We talk about arranged marriages, non-monogamy, and what it means to be a woman in today's society.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 so so there's instagram there's dating apps where you can switch your location there's matchmakers
00:00:05.200 yeah like how how on earth would you get the result of marrying i'm happy to get married
00:00:09.600 what is it called when um sorry arrange marriage i'm happy i'm happy if my mom comes have you said
00:00:15.840 to your parents i want an arranged marriage set this up and what do they say mom is mom is still 1.00
00:00:21.200 looking for me mom is in her own country right now finding me the right husband some and it's better 1.00
00:00:26.880 because your parents would choose some my mom doesn't want me to be in danger my mom doesn't
00:00:31.280 want to see me do bad yeah but what if it's not your type what if you're not your type you look
00:00:35.040 and you think that for me for me i think marriage is about security is about creating a safe place
00:00:41.920 for your child you have to be attracted come on i think the biggest problem i think for me and you
00:00:48.240 know that for me it's all about character i can look at someone and then and you know and then
00:00:53.440 be like oh do you know what yeah so i can't judge in the beginning but what if he's not your type
00:00:58.640 though like genuinely that is an arranged marriage is a surprise you've seen it you still need to be
00:01:03.440 average you know no but this is this is actually the reason like women end up single because women 1.00
00:01:07.920 in their 20s we typically select for looks we're in our 30s yeah typically okay i'm not talking about
00:01:14.560 you um typically in our 20 how tall is your boyfriend um he's like 5 11 okay so so five
00:01:22.960 ten five eleven okay so still top 20 percent of height yes you do um okay that's what they say
00:01:28.640 you don't listen to what women say watch what they do um okay so typically in our 20s like so it's 0.99
00:01:34.160 interesting because we're in a monogamous society technically that's what we think but we're really in
00:01:38.160 a non-monogamous society because women don't get married till the age of 31 so we pick and women um 0.79
00:01:43.360 who's in control of sex women women right so we pick non-monogamy in our 20s which is when we have 1.00
00:01:49.200 the most to offer to men right and we typically select for looks which is the top 20 percent of men
00:01:54.640 well when we get to our 30s that's when we start looking for security so then that expands to the
00:01:58.880 top like 50 60 percent of men um and so but basically what happens is the top 20 of men run
00:02:04.320 through the girls in their 20s and then like we pick the nice guy after i think the biggest pandemic
00:02:10.800 of today is delusion i'm sorry to say that because i feel like with women today we have this idea on 0.89
00:02:17.120 our head that the perfect guy is just gonna drop on our laps and we're just gonna get married when we
00:02:21.200 want and we don't realize that there's actual actionable steps like everything in life you
00:02:26.800 have to work for it you have to make changes and it kind of upsets me that sometimes people have this
00:02:31.120 idea in their head where just like well i don't have to think about this or i don't have to consider a
00:02:35.120 a man's opinion and you you kind of do it in order to achieve any goal in life not just relationships
00:02:40.320 so i feel like yeah that's just my point okay if if you're applying for a job you don't care what
00:02:45.120 the employer thinks yeah you don't you don't think a wife is a job i do actually i think a housewife
00:02:56.480 is a job okay so i think it is yeah so again you don't have to care what the employer thinks when
00:03:00.480 you're looking to be hired but that's that specific but then the employer is i'm not i'm not thinking
00:03:05.440 about what the whole of sony thinks of me i'm thinking about what the managing director of that
00:03:10.400 department thinks of me okay but you still have to to figure out what they want right and care about
00:03:16.560 what they want to an extent but it's not as rigid as that like it's a relationship you know so i just
00:03:21.920 feel like so in a relationship you shouldn't care about what they want of course you should okay so you
00:03:27.520 do have to care yeah but how would you know that without meeting them that you we're just assuming
00:03:32.240 at this point you talk to men and ask them what they want no but you're saying like in a sense
00:03:36.080 that before as we're navigating typically want the same type of stuff are you talking about arranged
00:03:40.320 marriage no no i'm talking about like when you're single and you're young you're navigating you're
00:03:44.000 traveling you're saying i should be thinking as each each day every step i take what all the men
00:03:48.400 on my instagram are thinking of me as i'm going to france as i'm doing this as i'm doing
00:03:52.400 i think it is yeah of course carry yourself in the best way i don't by the way i'm not i'm not
00:03:56.880 condoning like being a whore and i'm just saying the realistic thing of just enjoying and living 0.80
00:04:03.040 your life and learning who you are before getting with somebody because what you don't want is to 0.99
00:04:08.000 just get with somebody at 21 and then you've never lived and then you get to 40 you realize you're not
00:04:12.720 compatible you never even lived your life what results does that yield though as women as women 0.99
00:04:17.680 have pushed the age of marriage up and up and up and found themselves before the divorce rate goes
00:04:23.120 up and up and up so it doesn't like the results aren't there did we not slightly as humans like
00:04:30.720 create this idea of marriage i was going to say that i was going to say that where really it like
00:04:36.720 obviously you see in in the animal kingdom that's for example you see a lot of obviously you know the
00:04:43.120 male lion goes out and the lioness looks after the cubs but that lion wasn't wouldn't stay with
00:04:48.560 that lioness for the whole of his life where else apart from penguins there's a couple of little
00:04:53.360 animals that that do it but you actually don't see monogamy really in any other thing is this not
00:04:58.800 something that we've created out of religion out of uh like is this not something that the humans
00:05:03.680 actually i don't know this is just one no no actually i talked to a biologist or he wrote
00:05:09.680 this book called the history of sex the other day so i'm trying to recite it right but he basically
00:05:13.680 said that when we were um more intertwined with like animals because like we came from like chimps or
00:05:19.680 whatever it was super non-monogamous but actually the majority of human history has been monogamous
00:05:25.040 for 85 of the population however the top 15 of women um or the top 15 of men have been in non-monogamous
00:05:33.040 relationships so um essentially now the top like we're going more towards a non-monogamy because
00:05:39.120 again women are choosing non-monogamy in their 20s where we most women used to pick monogamy but now 0.89
00:05:44.800 that's something that we created like was that something that we actually assumed through thousands
00:05:49.440 and thousands of years you go right back to you know the romans when they had wives i mean is this
00:05:54.000 not something that we've created i think so i don't think it's something we created i think it's
00:05:59.440 something that's just natural i actually don't know that i'm not saying this like i actually know
00:06:03.040 what i'm on about i'm just it's just it's just something that's actually baffled me for a long
00:06:06.640 time like you actually look at animal kingdom where where else do you actually see this idea
00:06:10.960 of marriage and and when you actually look at a lot of it has come when you when you go and get
00:06:14.800 married it's in a church or a union in thailand it's in a temple so a lot of it comes down to something
00:06:21.040 i just think it's the best for building families and i think it's i honestly think it's natural
00:06:25.680 like at least from women to men i don't know i'm just like i don't i don't know any animal that
00:06:31.520 really it's actually it's actually because um these kind of constructs are necessary for society to exist
00:06:39.120 because without us being monogamous and all of that if you were to look in the animal kingdom where
00:06:44.640 monogamy doesn't exist the males have to fight each other usually to the death to get sex and human
00:06:51.040 beings can't function in that way because what then happens that's interesting is that society can't
00:06:55.840 stand so that's the reason it's not that's a fair point but then again is this is not again something
00:07:01.120 it's still constructive though so that doesn't deny the temptation or the ability to then look
00:07:07.200 elsewhere but you know i mean it's still a construct we've been consciously aware that that we wouldn't
00:07:12.320 be able to function well it used to be so it used to be a compromise of our mating strategies because
00:07:20.400 like what's what's the female mating strategy to get the best guy you possibly can right to get the 1.00
00:07:25.200 best genes right or the best resources right that's women to get attention from from men right so um it 1.00
00:07:32.080 used to be that like women would bring purity and youth so they would come to the like marriage and 1.00
00:07:36.080 they would say i'm not going to sleep with anyone else and i'm going to stay with you for your lifetime 0.93
00:07:39.760 and i'm not going like i'm not going to try to go higher and higher and higher and the men used
00:07:44.240 to come in and say you know i'm not going to sleep with anyone else because their mating strategy is 1.00
00:07:48.160 to sleep with a bunch of different women so it used to be a compromise but the problem is women 1.00
00:07:52.160 don't bring purity anymore because what percent of women are virgins so it's kind of an unequal exchange 1.00
00:07:56.640 because most men out earn most women most men still have to protect most women but women don't bring 1.00
00:08:01.440 the purity or the youth and like that's why i think we see men walking away from marriage because like
00:08:05.680 honestly women like what what do modern women bring to the table not much like what what percent of 1.00
00:08:10.720 women have the skills of our grand our grandmothers and great grandmothers we can we have a full cookbook 0.99
00:08:15.200 and we can cook where we're virgins where we um you know we can sew guard like all of the traditional
00:08:21.200 skills women don't have anymore but the problem is women still want to be courted like traditional 1.00
00:08:25.680 women even though we're not i do i do agree i think to answer that and the funny thing is as well now when it
00:08:31.280 gets hard they're running away so you get married back in the days they will work and work and work
00:08:37.200 until we can make it and that's why women bring less to the table because that used to be the thing 1.00
00:08:41.680 that the man got even if she wasn't a virgin he's like you know what if we get married she cannot leave 0.76
00:08:46.720 me but now 80 of women are um 80 of women half of marriages end in divorce and women leave 80 percent 0.99
00:08:54.160 of the time children with them and they take the kids and their money so that's why we see less and
00:08:59.120 less men getting married today but we also have to look at why is the the generation society also
00:09:05.120 they're not teaching you in schools what are they teaching you they're not teaching you how to
00:09:09.600 how to how to wash how to sew how to do all of these things as a woman so when you come out of
00:09:14.240 school you don't know what you're doing your mom and your dad's not together do you know what i
00:09:18.080 mean no i think i think there's an agenda right but but it still doesn't change the product yeah and
00:09:24.240 and and the truth is the product of of women as a whole is just worse than ever before no i agree
00:09:29.200 and also factor in the fact that everything is very convenient so like you've got a dishwasher
00:09:33.120 you've got you can just go up the road everything has changed you don't even have to have those
00:09:38.080 skills anymore because it's not it's not a necessity back then it was a necessity to have these skills
00:09:42.560 yeah but the problem is like what kind of i disagree with it and i wish it was like that that's
00:09:45.600 the thing i'm actually super old school in so many ways like i wish so many of the habits we had
00:09:50.560 today would just come back to how it was i don't actually like the way things are going i don't
00:09:56.240 so but i just have to also be aware of what what we have right now and also to answer your question
00:10:01.600 um about whether it was created i don't think it was something that was created i think it's
00:10:05.280 something that's just natural and just work i think what was created was the idea to actually
00:10:09.760 go against it and go against the family structure i think that's what has been created that's what's
00:10:13.920 happened and i feel like if we go back to like just statistics if we look at modern society today
00:10:19.440 and you know how that divorce rates are skyrocketing what has that done to society like
00:10:24.640 society is literally falling apart do you know what i mean so i feel like it's something that's
00:10:28.720 natural and it's something that works and it's definitely not something that just we just decided
00:10:32.720 let's just create it i think i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
00:10:40.880 platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make
00:10:48.480 make what we do possible