JustPearlyThings - May 21, 2023


25 Year Old Woman Wants An ARRANGED MARRIAGE


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

220.38434

Word Count

2,416

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

22

Hate Speech Sentences

8


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 so so there's instagram there's dating apps where you can switch your location there's matchmakers
00:00:05.200 yeah like how how on earth would you get the result of marrying i'm happy to get married
00:00:09.600 what is it called when um sorry arrange marriage i'm happy i'm happy if my mom comes have you said
00:00:15.840 to your parents i want an arranged marriage set this up and what do they say mom is mom is still
00:00:21.200 looking for me mom is in her own country right now finding me the right husband some and it's better
00:00:26.880 because your parents would choose some my mom doesn't want me to be in danger my mom doesn't
00:00:31.280 want to see me do bad yeah but what if it's not your type what if you're not your type you look
00:00:35.040 and you think that for me for me i think marriage is about security is about creating a safe place
00:00:41.920 for your child you have to be attracted come on i think the biggest problem i think for me and you
00:00:48.240 know that for me it's all about character i can look at someone and then and you know and then
00:00:53.440 be like oh do you know what yeah so i can't judge in the beginning but what if he's not your type
00:00:58.640 though like genuinely that is an arranged marriage is a surprise you've seen it you still need to be
00:01:03.440 average you know no but this is this is actually the reason like women end up single because women
00:01:07.920 in their 20s we typically select for looks we're in our 30s yeah typically okay i'm not talking about
00:01:14.560 you um typically in our 20 how tall is your boyfriend um he's like 5 11 okay so so five
00:01:22.960 ten five eleven okay so still top 20 percent of height yes you do um okay that's what they say
00:01:28.640 you don't listen to what women say watch what they do um okay so typically in our 20s like so it's
00:01:34.160 interesting because we're in a monogamous society technically that's what we think but we're really in
00:01:38.160 a non-monogamous society because women don't get married till the age of 31 so we pick and women um
00:01:43.360 who's in control of sex women women right so we pick non-monogamy in our 20s which is when we have
00:01:49.200 the most to offer to men right and we typically select for looks which is the top 20 percent of men
00:01:54.640 well when we get to our 30s that's when we start looking for security so then that expands to the
00:01:58.880 top like 50 60 percent of men um and so but basically what happens is the top 20 of men run
00:02:04.320 through the girls in their 20s and then like we pick the nice guy after i think the biggest pandemic
00:02:10.800 of today is delusion i'm sorry to say that because i feel like with women today we have this idea on
00:02:17.120 our head that the perfect guy is just gonna drop on our laps and we're just gonna get married when we
00:02:21.200 want and we don't realize that there's actual actionable steps like everything in life you
00:02:26.800 have to work for it you have to make changes and it kind of upsets me that sometimes people have this
00:02:31.120 idea in their head where just like well i don't have to think about this or i don't have to consider a
00:02:35.120 a man's opinion and you you kind of do it in order to achieve any goal in life not just relationships
00:02:40.320 so i feel like yeah that's just my point okay if if you're applying for a job you don't care what
00:02:45.120 the employer thinks yeah you don't you don't think a wife is a job i do actually i think a housewife
00:02:56.480 is a job okay so i think it is yeah so again you don't have to care what the employer thinks when
00:03:00.480 you're looking to be hired but that's that specific but then the employer is i'm not i'm not thinking
00:03:05.440 about what the whole of sony thinks of me i'm thinking about what the managing director of that
00:03:10.400 department thinks of me okay but you still have to to figure out what they want right and care about
00:03:16.560 what they want to an extent but it's not as rigid as that like it's a relationship you know so i just
00:03:21.920 feel like so in a relationship you shouldn't care about what they want of course you should okay so you
00:03:27.520 do have to care yeah but how would you know that without meeting them that you we're just assuming
00:03:32.240 at this point you talk to men and ask them what they want no but you're saying like in a sense
00:03:36.080 that before as we're navigating typically want the same type of stuff are you talking about arranged
00:03:40.320 marriage no no i'm talking about like when you're single and you're young you're navigating you're
00:03:44.000 traveling you're saying i should be thinking as each each day every step i take what all the men
00:03:48.400 on my instagram are thinking of me as i'm going to france as i'm doing this as i'm doing
00:03:52.400 i think it is yeah of course carry yourself in the best way i don't by the way i'm not i'm not
00:03:56.880 condoning like being a whore and i'm just saying the realistic thing of just enjoying and living
00:04:03.040 your life and learning who you are before getting with somebody because what you don't want is to
00:04:08.000 just get with somebody at 21 and then you've never lived and then you get to 40 you realize you're not
00:04:12.720 compatible you never even lived your life what results does that yield though as women as women
00:04:17.680 have pushed the age of marriage up and up and up and found themselves before the divorce rate goes
00:04:23.120 up and up and up so it doesn't like the results aren't there did we not slightly as humans like
00:04:30.720 create this idea of marriage i was going to say that i was going to say that where really it like
00:04:36.720 obviously you see in in the animal kingdom that's for example you see a lot of obviously you know the
00:04:43.120 male lion goes out and the lioness looks after the cubs but that lion wasn't wouldn't stay with
00:04:48.560 that lioness for the whole of his life where else apart from penguins there's a couple of little
00:04:53.360 animals that that do it but you actually don't see monogamy really in any other thing is this not
00:04:58.800 something that we've created out of religion out of uh like is this not something that the humans
00:05:03.680 actually i don't know this is just one no no actually i talked to a biologist or he wrote
00:05:09.680 this book called the history of sex the other day so i'm trying to recite it right but he basically
00:05:13.680 said that when we were um more intertwined with like animals because like we came from like chimps or
00:05:19.680 whatever it was super non-monogamous but actually the majority of human history has been monogamous
00:05:25.040 for 85 of the population however the top 15 of women um or the top 15 of men have been in non-monogamous
00:05:33.040 relationships so um essentially now the top like we're going more towards a non-monogamy because
00:05:39.120 again women are choosing non-monogamy in their 20s where we most women used to pick monogamy but now
00:05:44.800 that's something that we created like was that something that we actually assumed through thousands
00:05:49.440 and thousands of years you go right back to you know the romans when they had wives i mean is this
00:05:54.000 not something that we've created i think so i don't think it's something we created i think it's
00:05:59.440 something that's just natural i actually don't know that i'm not saying this like i actually know
00:06:03.040 what i'm on about i'm just it's just it's just something that's actually baffled me for a long
00:06:06.640 time like you actually look at animal kingdom where where else do you actually see this idea
00:06:10.960 of marriage and and when you actually look at a lot of it has come when you when you go and get
00:06:14.800 married it's in a church or a union in thailand it's in a temple so a lot of it comes down to something
00:06:21.040 i just think it's the best for building families and i think it's i honestly think it's natural
00:06:25.680 like at least from women to men i don't know i'm just like i don't i don't know any animal that
00:06:31.520 really it's actually it's actually because um these kind of constructs are necessary for society to exist
00:06:39.120 because without us being monogamous and all of that if you were to look in the animal kingdom where
00:06:44.640 monogamy doesn't exist the males have to fight each other usually to the death to get sex and human
00:06:51.040 beings can't function in that way because what then happens that's interesting is that society can't
00:06:55.840 stand so that's the reason it's not that's a fair point but then again is this is not again something
00:07:01.120 it's still constructive though so that doesn't deny the temptation or the ability to then look
00:07:07.200 elsewhere but you know i mean it's still a construct we've been consciously aware that that we wouldn't
00:07:12.320 be able to function well it used to be so it used to be a compromise of our mating strategies because
00:07:20.400 like what's what's the female mating strategy to get the best guy you possibly can right to get the
00:07:25.200 best genes right or the best resources right that's women to get attention from from men right so um it
00:07:32.080 used to be that like women would bring purity and youth so they would come to the like marriage and
00:07:36.080 they would say i'm not going to sleep with anyone else and i'm going to stay with you for your lifetime
00:07:39.760 and i'm not going like i'm not going to try to go higher and higher and higher and the men used
00:07:44.240 to come in and say you know i'm not going to sleep with anyone else because their mating strategy is
00:07:48.160 to sleep with a bunch of different women so it used to be a compromise but the problem is women
00:07:52.160 don't bring purity anymore because what percent of women are virgins so it's kind of an unequal exchange
00:07:56.640 because most men out earn most women most men still have to protect most women but women don't bring
00:08:01.440 the purity or the youth and like that's why i think we see men walking away from marriage because like
00:08:05.680 honestly women like what what do modern women bring to the table not much like what what percent of
00:08:10.720 women have the skills of our grand our grandmothers and great grandmothers we can we have a full cookbook
00:08:15.200 and we can cook where we're virgins where we um you know we can sew guard like all of the traditional
00:08:21.200 skills women don't have anymore but the problem is women still want to be courted like traditional
00:08:25.680 women even though we're not i do i do agree i think to answer that and the funny thing is as well now when it
00:08:31.280 gets hard they're running away so you get married back in the days they will work and work and work
00:08:37.200 until we can make it and that's why women bring less to the table because that used to be the thing
00:08:41.680 that the man got even if she wasn't a virgin he's like you know what if we get married she cannot leave
00:08:46.720 me but now 80 of women are um 80 of women half of marriages end in divorce and women leave 80 percent
00:08:54.160 of the time children with them and they take the kids and their money so that's why we see less and
00:08:59.120 less men getting married today but we also have to look at why is the the generation society also
00:09:05.120 they're not teaching you in schools what are they teaching you they're not teaching you how to
00:09:09.600 how to how to wash how to sew how to do all of these things as a woman so when you come out of
00:09:14.240 school you don't know what you're doing your mom and your dad's not together do you know what i
00:09:18.080 mean no i think i think there's an agenda right but but it still doesn't change the product yeah and
00:09:24.240 and and the truth is the product of of women as a whole is just worse than ever before no i agree
00:09:29.200 and also factor in the fact that everything is very convenient so like you've got a dishwasher
00:09:33.120 you've got you can just go up the road everything has changed you don't even have to have those
00:09:38.080 skills anymore because it's not it's not a necessity back then it was a necessity to have these skills
00:09:42.560 yeah but the problem is like what kind of i disagree with it and i wish it was like that that's
00:09:45.600 the thing i'm actually super old school in so many ways like i wish so many of the habits we had
00:09:50.560 today would just come back to how it was i don't actually like the way things are going i don't
00:09:56.240 so but i just have to also be aware of what what we have right now and also to answer your question
00:10:01.600 um about whether it was created i don't think it was something that was created i think it's
00:10:05.280 something that's just natural and just work i think what was created was the idea to actually
00:10:09.760 go against it and go against the family structure i think that's what has been created that's what's
00:10:13.920 happened and i feel like if we go back to like just statistics if we look at modern society today
00:10:19.440 and you know how that divorce rates are skyrocketing what has that done to society like
00:10:24.640 society is literally falling apart do you know what i mean so i feel like it's something that's
00:10:28.720 natural and it's something that works and it's definitely not something that just we just decided
00:10:32.720 let's just create it i think i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
00:10:40.880 platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make
00:10:48.480 make what we do possible