JustPearlyThings - March 25, 2023


A Dark Future Awaits These Women


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

190.78

Word count

2,472

Sentence count

5

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what it means to be single at 65 years old and the pressures on women and men to be in a relationship at that age. We also discuss what standards women should have in order to be attractive to men and what standards men are looking for in a partner.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 i'm curious would you guys rather be like so at 60 65 would you rather be by yourself or be with
00:00:07.120 someone you're not attracted to be by myself be by myself yeah yeah yeah really no kids
00:00:17.040 because to me it's like i'd rather be with someone i'm not attracted to than out of children
00:00:20.480 i would feel like my life was like a failure if i didn't have kids no i'm not looking for
00:00:24.880 companionship if it's real it's not what if it's real it's not what were you gonna say you
00:00:32.800 definitely want kids yeah i know so i'm asking if you had the two options and you would still
00:00:37.600 pick by yourself you said at 65. you just told me the age of 35 so no but i'm saying so in one scenario
00:00:45.520 at 65 you have a husband you're not attracted to and children and a family and at the other one
00:00:49.600 you're by yourself so i'm saying like as women we keep saying we need our standards to be on a certain 0.98
00:00:54.000 level right and i hear this is super common it's not just you so it's like but when do we start
00:00:58.800 lowering them if the men aren't meeting them because what's our other option bye dog
00:01:06.640 that dog ain't giving you kids i'll tell you that um i think that's where it goes with the beauty beyond
00:01:13.760 the eye you see you start you know you find out you don't find him attractive first and you really
00:01:18.240 start liking him after but you see what i'm saying when i say that like i think that women and men
00:01:23.120 have higher beauty standards than women like that they have to live up to because it's such a small 1.00
00:01:28.800 percentage of men that we're even attracted to everyone here said they're picky but don't you feel
00:01:33.120 like it happened to us first as women we had to level ourselves up to be a certain way when do you
00:01:40.160 think we had to level ourselves up i'd say about 20 30 years ago i feel like we've gotten worse in the
00:01:49.520 the last 20 to 30 years see so about 20 30 years no but i don't think we've leveled up i think women 0.61
00:01:53.840 have leveled down oh yeah but i don't agree with that no i think i think you're i think you're right
00:01:58.480 but i right i think what probably from my perspective i reckon what happened was that that there was that
00:02:02.720 pressure on women to be you know you've got to look amazing all the time and blokes like back in the 0.88
00:02:08.000 sort of the 80s and early 90s and stuff guys didn't really have to make an effort you know what i mean it
00:02:12.880 was like you could have a beer gun and just like whatever football shirt on and oh yeah she's nice 1.00
00:02:17.520 and you know it's very laddie kind of thing i've seen pictures of guys from like the i saw beach
00:02:22.880 pictures from like the before the 60s everyone was hot back then i thought they were so much more
00:02:28.960 attractive i think well and the women they were i feel like something switched in the food or something 0.95
00:02:34.480 well maybe maybe just in england then but no i know what you mean because i've seen in pictures in
00:02:38.880 like brazilian stuff like from the 70s no i'm talking the u.s like california pictures really
00:02:43.200 yeah okay okay okay i don't know well i i from my perspective what i've seen i i think that standards
00:02:52.480 for men have got higher in the last sort of 10 15 20 years that's that's just just my sense of it and
00:02:56.800 maybe women's had to have been higher in the past but um it like i don't know it doesn't really help 0.99
00:03:03.440 anybody does it you know what i mean like like um i i think i think now because of the thirstiness of
00:03:08.320 guys and the fact that as you as we've said i mean guys are less selected than than women i think
00:03:13.360 guys are now more less picky than they were do you know what i mean i think i think there are many
00:03:18.160 guys who will take a woman who's perhaps less attractive than he would have preferred because
00:03:23.600 he thinks that's his only option i think ultimately is finding someone you're compatible with
00:03:29.280 so all these standards standards standards it's like what is a standard you know if he's a good guy
00:03:34.240 he's a good girl and it's like you know it's compatible to you it's got the same values same
00:03:38.480 you know principles and you get along well and you have the same you know goals in life i think that's
00:03:44.240 what can be defined as a you know yeah i'm curious what what are your standards
00:03:49.360 like what what do you guys look for in a guy i think i'm maybe not the right person i think like
00:03:55.520 lots of women no because it's like you don't look for anything 1.00
00:04:04.880 no because i i know that lots of women they look at just you know how much money my man is making 1.00
00:04:10.160 how much you know good good life yeah yeah you don't have to say money it could be like whatever
00:04:14.640 you look for for me it's like having emotional support most of everything and you know having
00:04:20.960 someone that you know understands my needs you know on a mental level obviously you know we need to
00:04:26.960 you know do life together and navigate you know challenges and everything but ultimately for me
00:04:32.320 is about finding that compatible person which is very difficult to do because you know you're going
00:04:36.880 to have always something you know that as a some character traits that are not really you know men
00:04:43.280 and women are just different and as much as we want to play this card oh i want to be like a man 0.91
00:04:47.680 i'm never going to be a man i wasn't born a man and i'm not going to understand what men so don't
00:04:52.560 you think that asking him to understand your emotional needs is asking a man to be a woman when 0.92
00:04:56.960 he's not a woman a little bit yes but not in a way like don't get me wrong yes maybe a little bit
00:05:03.280 yes but at the same time i don't want to call the person you know in front of me no you know i want
00:05:08.640 to have someone that is kind of empathic enough you know got a little bit that doesn't sound too hard to
00:05:13.680 find a warm a nice guy you think that's hard um like what else there has to be yeah it's gonna be
00:05:20.560 like yeah i mean there are but um there's gonna be loads of guys in the chat now i'm a nice guy
00:05:30.800 i can emotionally support you no no i mean i mean i want to you know i want to say this like there are
00:05:37.440 lots of great guys out there i don't want to be like oh yeah man it's just i find that
00:05:42.640 this particular time that we're living guys are like finding very difficult in committing on the
00:05:48.080 long term because you know a lot of pressure there is in this society so it's like i can't provide to
00:05:52.400 my woman because you know the bills are going high you know the society is crazy at the moment you know
00:05:57.280 and women wants always more more more the last clothes the last you know trend that is there you
00:06:02.560 know i need to satisfy that and i feel like that it's quite detrimental so i feel like yes you're right
00:06:09.360 maybe we can lower a little bit our standards and try trying to be more realistic with what we
00:06:14.800 really you know how how old would you date like is there an age range like you said you're 37 right
00:06:20.960 eight 38 okay so would you date a 21 year old guy i don't think so okay so so there's age yeah because
00:06:28.880 it's a question i mean yeah i don't think so it has to be like you know mature enough for me to you
00:06:34.320 know for me to get deep conversations without like oh what are you talking about without scaring him
00:06:39.360 and i think like when you're 21 you still need to figure out a lot of things i'm not saying that
00:06:44.240 by 38 you're gonna have everything no so you date a 55 year old guy that's okay
00:06:48.880 no i don't think so okay so you know maybe maybe up until 45 45 yeah okay or less yeah anything else so
00:07:01.040 he just has to be emotionally available under the age of 45 funny over 30 maybe over 30 yeah but i'm not
00:07:08.400 doing like doing an advert out there no um it used to be me me me no no no no no there's not an advert um
00:07:19.440 just as i said like for me the emotional support without being too much a woman is very important
00:07:25.840 and to be able to you know understand like that trying to understand us because as we as women we're 1.00
00:07:34.720 trying to understand men and we're trying to get into that masculine energy which is quite like
00:07:40.800 difficult to do and at the same time i would love you know that the man's trying to be a little bit
00:07:44.960 more empathetic and trying to understand without becoming a woman i mean it has to be men it has to 0.79
00:07:50.080 be men um have you dated guys that weren't emotionally available before or emotional i forgot what words
00:07:56.240 you said exactly but something like that um you just mentioned it a couple times i was just i think there
00:08:01.200 are lots of emotionally of unavailable men out there because um it's everything has to do with
00:08:07.680 i think traumas and things they they've been experiencing in life so if a man is emotionally
00:08:13.600 unavailable it's just because it went maybe through something that is not capable of you might feel
00:08:19.440 something but it's just not capable to just put everything out there um not saying that everyone is
00:08:25.600 like that but i think a lot of people i mean again talking with a lot of friends and people that are
00:08:30.880 all saying men they don't want to commit you know they don't want to see the long term they always
00:08:36.160 but i feel also like maybe we need to look at ourselves and say like what's wrong with me why
00:08:42.080 this is not working and trying to fix you know things uh what about you what do you look for in a
00:08:49.040 guy what are you um ambition again emotional support as well because i feel like a lot of men do not
00:08:55.760 know how to give emotional support and when you do question it they end up arguing with you or backing
00:09:02.080 away um again like she said because of traumas and stuff that goes like wrong in their life and then
00:09:09.600 they bring it into the relationship for from past experiences or being cheated on um so i think it is
00:09:16.160 it's very tough to find that um as well what else um someone so you said ambitious um can we put a
00:09:24.160 dollar amount to it is there a money how much because how old did you say you were 32 so how what
00:09:31.040 old is the guy roughly how old yeah do you want him to be um my age and i'll say up to the age of 40.
00:09:39.520 okay so let's say he's 40. okay how much does he have to be making roughly um i just think he just
00:09:47.840 needs to be able to be a provider um especially if you're going into relationship you it's because
00:09:54.480 i'm quite old school so i think a woman should play their role and a man should play their role
00:09:59.440 um so if you're able to provide and you know pay um sorry run the household then then it's okay i don't
00:10:07.760 think it how much does that cost well that depends on where you're living you could be living outside
00:10:14.160 of london inside of london it that all depends um it's how many bedrooms you have it yeah it really
00:10:21.280 all depends a rough could i get a rough number um i don't know um maybe about 40 40 that's like 50 i'm
00:10:35.120 american so 55 000 that's like average salary right yeah okay that's not bad so average salary what
00:10:41.280 else 40 30 30 to 40 roughly is what you said yeah your age or um average salary what else um yeah so
00:10:51.040 you need to be be able to support me emotionally as well um again you need to you know have some sort
00:10:59.120 of attraction there that's it really what about height how tall oh you need to be you need to be
00:11:07.280 you need to be taller than me how tall are you i'm five six okay so five six is good about five seven
00:11:14.080 and above five seven and up okay yeah so that's it it doesn't sound that hard it doesn't sound that hard
00:11:20.160 it is really difficult a five seven guy making forty thousand dollars a year yeah that's emotionally
00:11:27.440 available it doesn't seem that hard it is very hard i just feel like yeah a lot of guys are just not
00:11:33.200 there anymore they have just very their minds elsewhere to be honest it's just interesting 40 like
00:11:43.440 you said you you're old school right yeah do you think that women should be virgins the same way
00:11:48.160 that men should be providers no why isn't that a double double standard because like if we expect
00:11:55.920 them to be traditional providers shouldn't we be traditional virgins yeah but again i am old school
00:12:02.320 but you have to know that this is the modern world as well so that's not really gonna happen so wouldn't
00:12:07.040 you say the same thing with that provider guy like oh it's not gonna happen you need two incomes to
00:12:13.440 survive to set an aspect yeah yeah okay what do you look for a man that can support me like i can
00:12:21.840 support him and that doesn't just mean money i'm talking about generally and stuff that i like to do
00:12:27.600 support me and what i like to do and i'm very big as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we
00:12:36.000 are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super
00:12:43.280 thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible