JustPearlyThings - June 27, 2023


A Heated Debate on Emotional BALANCE


Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

207.47719

Word count

3,524

Sentence count

342

Harmful content

Misogyny

22

sentences flagged

Hate speech

31

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about women s equality in society and the differences between men and women. We talk about how women have always been more equal than men and how that has changed over the years. We also talk about the difference between women and men and why we should all be woke about it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You know, a lot of the things we're talking about is that, you know, all of this is just to have, I guess, to weaken men and that, you know, men are weak in all of this.
00:00:09.420 But going back to that, do you not think that this is actually just to weaken people, both men and women?
00:00:15.680 Yeah.
00:00:15.840 Because actually, men and women, we both need each other as much, you know, as much as a man needs a woman and vice versa.
00:00:22.800 Preach.
00:00:23.180 So we're saying, you know, actually, this is all a systematic thing that's taken down men.
00:00:27.640 But actually, if women were just as woke about this, we would all just be as powerful. 0.68
00:00:32.340 Do you not believe that?
00:00:33.760 Women aren't weak today. 1.00
00:00:34.780 So I think when men win, they win for everyone.
00:00:37.680 When women win, they win for themselves. 1.00
00:00:40.260 Can you explain that a bit more?
00:00:41.660 So like when men had all the more power in society, like they still gave women rights and privileges. 0.89
00:00:49.640 Such as?
00:00:50.200 I mean, such as voting.
00:00:51.480 Men were the ones that built society, right?
00:00:54.100 And they gave us the right to vote.
00:00:55.580 But when women win, we're very selfish. 1.00
00:00:57.960 When we got the power to leave our husbands, we did.
00:01:00.540 And also, who goes to war, men or women?
00:01:02.580 It's always men, but who starts the wars? 0.75
00:01:05.180 Actually, women? 1.00
00:01:06.000 No, no.
00:01:06.340 Over the last 500 years, women have waged more wars than men when it comes to a percentage. 0.98
00:01:11.280 So like when women were in power, they wage war more, which makes sense. 1.00
00:01:14.520 So Iraq, that was starting.
00:01:16.040 No, no, no.
00:01:16.520 I said more men have been in power in the last 500 years.
00:01:20.340 Absolutely.
00:01:20.900 But I'm saying if you look at it as a percentage basis.
00:01:23.980 So if you look at like there was 10 women in power, it's a higher percentage that women have started wars. 1.00
00:01:30.100 Would you make sense?
00:01:30.620 We're more spiteful.
00:01:31.480 Come on.
00:01:31.900 Like imagine a group of guys living in a house versus a group of women. 1.00
00:01:35.300 Being labeled in like the whole group of women because I don't seem, I don't know.
00:01:39.400 I don't think I'm not the same as you and we're not the same as each other.
00:01:42.620 We have to make generalizations in order to have a conversation.
00:01:45.880 And I think there's like a female nature and a male.
00:01:47.960 That's where it gets a bit tricky though when we make generalizations.
00:01:51.040 I think we have to.
00:01:52.480 We have to.
00:01:53.160 I don't.
00:01:53.280 I try not to make generalizations about people.
00:01:55.480 Well, then you can't have a conversation about anything.
00:01:57.860 Because then it's your pre-judging, aren't you?
00:01:59.820 You're making like a pre-judgment.
00:02:01.100 And I like to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, you're not the same as you and vice versa.
00:02:06.620 Do you think it's equal that men get along the same way women get along? 0.98
00:02:12.920 That's a very blanket term.
00:02:14.180 So you're going to need to dumb that down a little bit for me now.
00:02:16.600 How could I dumb it down more than that?
00:02:20.760 Do you think women get along the same way men get along?
00:02:24.580 So by getting along though, I think that's what I'm asking you to dumb down.
00:02:28.080 Because that's quite a broad getting along.
00:02:30.180 What do you mean by getting along?
00:02:31.600 Do you mean just having a conversation?
00:02:33.900 Do you mean, you know, undergoing hobbies together?
00:02:36.060 What do you mean by that?
00:02:36.980 Not having disagreements.
00:02:39.140 Yeah.
00:02:39.400 So you think that women have disagreed? 0.90
00:02:42.860 I'm just trying to.
00:02:43.780 I think women disagree with each other more than men disagree with each other. 0.76
00:02:47.760 Okay.
00:02:48.520 Yeah.
00:02:48.780 I think women are more catty. 1.00
00:02:50.180 I think women are more spiteful. 1.00
00:02:51.660 I think women are more conniving in general. 1.00
00:02:53.720 Do you think that comes from us being a little bit more emotional?
00:02:57.680 Yeah.
00:02:58.360 Well, I think we're, we had to be more socially, like men bully each other physically, where
00:03:03.260 I think women bully each other emotionally more. 1.00
00:03:05.260 So I think we're just more like our weapon is emotions, where men's a weapon is violence.
00:03:10.160 And that's what makes, that's what makes us different as men and women, isn't it?
00:03:13.520 But I also believe that within each person, we have a lot of balance, right?
00:03:17.500 So we all have masculine and feminine traits about us.
00:03:20.380 There's no one person that's just entirely masculine and there's no one woman or man that's
00:03:25.220 entirely feminine. 0.92
00:03:26.200 Do you get what I mean?
00:03:26.980 But I believe that.
00:03:27.740 So it's having that balance.
00:03:28.640 But I believe men and women are born in different, like I think, I don't think it's equal when 1.00
00:03:33.240 we're born, like it's a blank slate.
00:03:35.300 Oh, absolutely.
00:03:36.140 In this society, we're not equal.
00:03:38.680 What do you mean?
00:03:39.860 In this society that we've been brought up in, men and women are not equal. 0.99
00:03:43.060 Well, I'm talking about biology.
00:03:45.380 Even biology, we're not the same.
00:03:47.080 Yeah, so like I think men are better leaders in general.
00:03:51.380 Yes, because they're less emotional and they are able to make clear decisions compared to
00:03:58.080 women. 0.81
00:03:58.600 But sometimes you've got to leave those beliefs in Morocco when you come to the West.
00:04:02.340 You know, you can't say those things.
00:04:03.420 I think sometimes though, you need a little, that's where balance comes in though, because
00:04:06.960 you need to have a little bit.
00:04:08.740 No, no, I know.
00:04:09.320 I'm being, I'm being sarcastic.
00:04:11.360 I do feel like things like that though, as much as we're saying like, okay, so like men are 0.88
00:04:15.880 better leaders because they're not emotional.
00:04:17.560 Well, actually, I think you do need to have a little bit of emotion there for it to be
00:04:21.520 a leader because you need to be able to empathize with the people that you are leading.
00:04:25.740 Do you not agree with that?
00:04:27.260 You just shouldn't have any empathy.
00:04:28.540 I do not want a commander in chief general that's empathized.
00:04:32.980 I'm not saying be soft and I cry all the time, but I'm saying have balance.
00:04:36.300 That's the key here.
00:04:37.580 When you have imbalance, that's when you have problems.
00:04:40.060 So there are plenty of male leaders who have balance and it's only a tiny bit of empathy,
00:04:44.240 which is needed in order to be a good leader.
00:04:46.340 But then have that tiny bit of empathy.
00:04:47.860 The majority should be the strength.
00:04:48.420 Yeah, I would say there are...
00:04:49.840 But this is actually an example of like, you're telling men to emote like women.
00:04:53.520 Oh, no, not emote.
00:04:54.440 I said balance.
00:04:55.320 I'm not saying...
00:04:55.800 No, but balance is like saying be more emotional, be more feminine.
00:04:59.220 It's really not...
00:04:59.940 It's in our language.
00:05:01.020 Because here's that thing, right?
00:05:02.420 We say about men, that's a horrible thing that people say is that men shouldn't cry.
00:05:06.480 That's a horrible thing.
00:05:08.000 But actually, crying is a natural emotion.
00:05:10.200 But I feel like now it's starting to get normalized.
00:05:12.740 Like, I see a lot of things on social media about men should, should, if they want to express themselves
00:05:17.840 and if they want to cry, they should be allowed to.
00:05:20.240 But this is the same conversation, though.
00:05:22.780 It's like telling men to emote like women. 0.74
00:05:24.860 Women cry. 1.00
00:05:25.800 So you're saying men be more like a woman. 0.84
00:05:27.820 But it's natural to cry.
00:05:28.840 So don't deny something that's natural.
00:05:30.640 To women, but why is that assumed to be like good? 0.98
00:05:34.400 What do you mean?
00:05:35.020 If you're releasing an emotion that is keeping...
00:05:38.620 But for a man, that's always dealing with it.
00:05:39.380 If it's troubling him and his natural emotion is that they're literally tears are welling up.
00:05:45.960 I'm not going to be like, suck those tears up, boy.
00:05:48.160 Get on with it.
00:05:48.980 You've got to be a real man and go home and cry in secret.
00:05:51.480 And let nobody know.
00:05:52.100 But the fact is you're still crying, though, right?
00:05:54.000 Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it.
00:05:56.100 Thank you.
00:05:56.720 That's it.
00:05:56.960 There's nothing wrong with it.
00:05:58.100 There's nothing wrong with it.
00:05:59.160 But this push...
00:06:01.020 There's a media campaign for a reason.
00:06:03.380 This media campaign to push dudes to be more in tune with their emotions.
00:06:08.600 Listen, anybody who lives based upon their emotions is going to be a guaranteed failure.
00:06:14.180 And that's why I said balance.
00:06:15.680 That is the key thing I think we're all like not really grasping here is that I'm saying balance.
00:06:19.980 Because if you're too emotional, you're going to go one way.
00:06:22.620 And if you don't have any emotion at all, you're going to go the other way.
00:06:25.780 So it's just having a balance.
00:06:27.100 So I agree with you on that.
00:06:28.240 But at the same time, if you want to be a leader, if you're too emotional or, you know, you claim to have these balances.
00:06:35.000 But if you show an emotional side, that side can be manipulated against you.
00:06:39.280 But that's, again, balance.
00:06:41.340 Emotional men become school shooters.
00:06:44.820 You don't have to show them.
00:06:46.320 That's what happens when men are too emotional.
00:06:47.580 That's someone that's mentally ill, though.
00:06:49.660 That's someone that's mentally ill. 0.73
00:06:51.300 Having emotion and displaying a little bit of emotion, I think, is kind of different to someone having mental illness.
00:06:56.040 But it's like, who are women to tell men how to emote? 0.88
00:06:58.320 I ain't telling no man how to emote.
00:06:58.820 But you are because you're saying, like, emote like a woman. 0.91
00:07:02.580 I'm just saying, no.
00:07:03.220 I did never.
00:07:04.560 You didn't say those words.
00:07:06.160 Because you said have a balance.
00:07:07.600 You said have a balance.
00:07:08.540 Okay.
00:07:08.900 But you as a woman, so you're saying that from your point of view.
00:07:13.600 So you're saying this is the perfect.
00:07:14.900 Wait, wait.
00:07:15.400 You're saying this is the perfect amount of emotional balance, whatever it is.
00:07:18.720 So emote like me.
00:07:20.360 But men are not women. 0.98
00:07:21.880 I don't want anyone to emote like me, first of all.
00:07:24.920 Because, oh, my God, we'd be in a situation.
00:07:28.380 No.
00:07:29.300 What I'm saying is, it's just, it's having that bit of balance.
00:07:32.120 Because imagine how hard it must be for men.
00:07:34.400 Because there's a lot of pressure on men in this society as well.
00:07:37.580 That they have to constantly always be the strongest person.
00:07:40.640 But let's be real.
00:07:41.520 As human beings, not everybody is strong 100% of the time.
00:07:44.640 You can't lean and be emotional.
00:07:46.220 You can't.
00:07:47.060 I have a question for you.
00:07:47.940 As our friend said.
00:07:49.700 I have a question for you.
00:07:50.820 So you keep talking about this balance.
00:07:53.020 So can you tell us how to identify where the line for the balance is?
00:07:57.500 I don't know where the line is.
00:07:58.620 Because I feel like that's very subjective for every person.
00:08:01.340 Exactly.
00:08:02.120 Everyone's going to have.
00:08:02.920 No, but that's the point.
00:08:03.760 Because if you keep saying balance, balance, for everyone, it's going to be different.
00:08:09.180 Right.
00:08:09.300 And even when a man tries to be more emotional, he's going to be in front of a certain woman, right?
00:08:15.720 And he doesn't necessarily know if he becomes this much emotional, if he's going to put that woman off.
00:08:21.860 That's his problem.
00:08:23.580 Exactly.
00:08:24.700 Subjective.
00:08:25.100 That is why men are asked to be more stoic.
00:08:28.520 Because then you tend to remove all those problems.
00:08:31.520 And how much pressure does that put on a man if he has to contribute?
00:08:34.700 It doesn't matter.
00:08:35.440 Men were built for pressure.
00:08:36.460 That's the point.
00:08:37.060 Yeah.
00:08:37.180 But these days, people are trying to tell men that we shouldn't do what we're built for.
00:08:42.500 Our ancestors had to run miles to look for food.
00:08:45.940 Our ancestors had to run miles to look for water.
00:08:48.560 They had to fight wild animals.
00:08:50.280 But today, we're telling men, you need to cry more. 0.99
00:08:53.100 I'm not telling no man to cry more.
00:08:55.420 I'm saying that.
00:08:56.040 You just did.
00:08:56.720 No, I didn't.
00:08:57.500 I said to have balance.
00:08:58.560 And I've also said that it is okay if you need to do so.
00:09:01.720 But let me ask you this.
00:09:03.120 I said to have balance, not to be more emotional.
00:09:06.380 So, okay.
00:09:07.240 You said to have a more balance.
00:09:09.300 According to you.
00:09:10.240 So, balance according to you.
00:09:12.420 As we've just discussed, it's subjective.
00:09:14.220 Savannah, Savannah.
00:09:14.780 Savannah, let me ask you something.
00:09:15.880 So, okay.
00:09:16.700 You say guys need to be more balanced and have logic and emotion, right?
00:09:21.140 But looking at the history of the West and society as it is right now,
00:09:25.800 those men have been typically more logical and less emotional.
00:09:30.320 What's wrong with society right now?
00:09:32.060 Because it seems right now, as we're making the shift to men being more emotional,
00:09:35.840 everybody's unhappy.
00:09:36.680 The men are unhappy.
00:09:37.320 The women are unhappy. 1.00
00:09:38.680 You know, it's not working out.
00:09:39.880 I think where it comes from is maybe balance might not have been the correct word.
00:09:46.300 But what I'm saying is it's okay if a man needs to feel upset and he needs to cry. 0.99
00:09:51.200 I think my point is that we are constantly telling people, well, actually, no.
00:09:55.660 Deny that part of yourself, that human nature, that part of yourself that needs to do that.
00:09:59.920 And I don't think that's okay.
00:10:01.220 I think, as I said, it puts so much pressure on young men to constantly be strong.
00:10:05.600 Yes, you may.
00:10:06.040 I don't think we are.
00:10:07.560 I don't think we're telling men not to cry.
00:10:10.000 I mean, I would say, wait, wait.
00:10:12.240 I would say in my show maybe we do.
00:10:14.800 But in general, in the media, no.
00:10:17.280 They tell men to be more emotional.
00:10:18.980 Again, like even now in the show, you're telling men to be more emotional than they were in the past.
00:10:25.560 You're saying it's okay to cry.
00:10:27.220 So that equates to you can be more emotional than they previously were.
00:10:31.840 So, again, it's pushing men to emote more like women. 0.99
00:10:35.940 We have a different way of processing things to men.
00:10:39.500 We're completely different in that way.
00:10:41.740 Whatever your pathosice is.
00:10:43.240 What works for us is crying and then taking time out and then, you know, processing things however we do.
00:10:51.120 For men, that actually brings him further down.
00:10:54.780 If you're like, I know this from experience from talking to men.
00:11:00.040 If they allow themselves to become too emotional or more emotional than usual.
00:11:06.160 It makes them even more depressed.
00:11:07.540 It makes them even more depressed and it makes them not be able to find that solution, which they would be able to if they had that stoicism to sort of carry on pushing.
00:11:17.380 And then that takes them out of the sadness in the first place because the thing which makes them sad, they found a solution for by not wasting time laying around crying.
00:11:25.560 So I think actually it's more damaging to push the be more sensitive and cry more because that actually is causing them to not be able to find solutions for themselves.
00:11:34.260 I had a comment that said, the highest personality traits required to be successful is conscientiousness and disagreeableness.
00:11:42.980 Men possess that and that leads to less emotional outputs.
00:11:46.120 And the more emotional you tell men to be, the less of a chance that man has to be a successful leader, making them more feminine. 0.98
00:11:52.060 We don't process emotions the same.
00:11:54.480 Very true.
00:11:55.260 Yeah, true.
00:11:57.060 The reality is men have testosterone, right?
00:11:59.460 And what does testosterone do?
00:12:00.900 Like, at the very basis of it, the biological nature of testosterone is it helps to build muscle.
00:12:06.860 It helps to build denser bones.
00:12:08.980 And these are all things you need to do very strenuous physical activities.
00:12:13.100 So that being said, when a man feels like he's down or he feels like he's sad or depressed, the best possible way for him to let that out is through physical exercise, through physical activity, not through crying.
00:12:25.180 By the way, I think this has slightly been misconstrued a little bit because I've not said that a man has to cry.
00:12:33.600 I've never once said that.
00:12:35.160 What I said is, it's okay to do that.
00:12:37.880 That is what I've said.
00:12:39.020 I've not said that every person.
00:12:40.900 And I don't understand where this misconstrued has come from either.
00:12:43.640 So it's either you're hearing what you want to hear or you're just not trying to understand what I'm saying here.
00:12:48.700 But what I am saying is that it is okay to do that.
00:12:51.240 If we tell somebody, no, you shouldn't cry, if that's what you're naturally trying to do, that's where that pressure comes from.
00:12:57.380 100% agree.
00:12:58.300 Men have testosterone.
00:12:59.620 That is the way, you know, you release your anger, your emotions, whatever.
00:13:03.980 Women have a way of crying. 1.00
00:13:05.240 Some women also work out because actually women also have testosterone too, not the same levels. 0.99
00:13:10.440 But I think that's what I'm trying to get at.
00:13:12.060 And actually, I'm actually being an advocate for men here by having that empathy there.
00:13:16.920 Because I don't think it's fair that we put so much responsibility on men all the time.
00:13:21.980 So that's where I'm coming from with that.
00:13:23.900 Whatever your catharsis is, your way of releasing, that is your way of doing it.
00:13:27.740 As I said, it's subjective.
00:13:29.060 I would say crying is natural.
00:13:31.640 And if that has to happen, it will happen.
00:13:35.800 That's my point.
00:13:36.360 Men don't need to be told to do it.
00:13:37.940 Because if it is a natural reaction, it will happen regardless of whether he tries to stop it or not.
00:13:42.300 I think what the girls were saying is that right now, mainstream society is telling men to prioritize being emotional.
00:13:50.520 I'm not saying that.
00:13:51.640 I know.
00:13:52.240 I know.
00:13:52.620 And I know that, you know, I think that's where we're having a miscommunication here.
00:13:56.640 So you have these social media companies.
00:13:59.620 Everyone's like, be vulnerable.
00:14:00.960 Do this.
00:14:01.440 Cry to your girlfriend. 0.97
00:14:02.840 You can cry to your girlfriend.
00:14:03.740 She's going to leave you. 1.00
00:14:05.080 She's not going to.
00:14:06.320 No, but that's not true.
00:14:08.160 Really?
00:14:08.380 Tell me a guy that cried to you and you stayed with him.
00:14:11.180 My ex-boyfriend.
00:14:12.840 Ex-boyfriend.
00:14:14.260 All right.
00:14:15.240 Thanks so much.
00:14:16.780 He's an ex because he cheated on me.
00:14:19.480 He's not an ex because he cried to me.
00:14:21.800 Like, I would want my partner to be comfortable enough to come and speak to me when he feels down.
00:14:27.920 How old is he?
00:14:29.420 We was, how old was we?
00:14:31.400 I was 17.
00:14:32.360 I was living for two years.
00:14:33.100 He's a child still.
00:14:34.460 And also that's.
00:14:35.920 No, but even.
00:14:36.500 If he didn't cry to you, you would have forgiven him for cheating.
00:14:39.620 Yeah.
00:14:42.340 And that's, and also that's, that's fine.
00:14:45.180 Like, I, I used to think that, you know, men being emotional is really attractive and, you know, it's them being vulnerable and that means that they trust you enough to show that to you.
00:14:54.420 No, like, I don't want a man that is an emotional wreck.
00:14:58.120 Don't get it twisted.
00:14:59.180 I can't have a man that's always crying to me, this, this and that.
00:15:02.240 No.
00:15:02.640 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:15:03.660 How much crying is too much crying?
00:15:05.180 But when shit really does hit the fan, I don't want you to just, like, keep it all in.
00:15:11.000 Answer his question.
00:15:12.100 How much crying is too much crying?
00:15:13.860 How much crying?
00:15:14.760 Like, every week, every other day.
00:15:17.120 Okay.
00:15:17.340 So how many, how much crying can he do?
00:15:21.220 Once a year?
00:15:22.200 Once a year.
00:15:24.480 No.
00:15:25.500 I would actually do.
00:15:26.120 I think just cry over things that, I don't know, like, that should be cried over.
00:15:30.980 Maybe, like, if a parent died or something like that.
00:15:33.460 But here's the, here's the issue, you said should be cried over.
00:15:36.940 Yeah.
00:15:37.320 And so then it's subjective.
00:15:39.600 And every woman a guy is going to deal with is going to have a different bar for what, what is too much and what isn't. 1.00
00:15:46.420 So instead of, you know, testing the waters, it's just easier for them to avoid the headache.
00:15:51.840 Yeah.
00:15:52.600 You know, because, because, because too emotional is going to be different for each girl on the couch.
00:15:57.000 Yeah.
00:15:57.060 A hundred percent.
00:15:57.560 Right?
00:15:57.940 Yeah.
00:15:58.480 Yeah.
00:15:59.040 Yeah.
00:15:59.220 And if they can prioritize for, for example, if the message was when a man gets
00:16:03.440 angry, go and work out.
00:16:04.940 Like, imagine if the mainstream media was, uh, advertising this rather than when you're upset, just go and cry.
00:16:10.620 Everybody would jacked.
00:16:11.500 They'd be super jacked.
00:16:12.560 Exactly.
00:16:12.740 Well, let me ask you this.
00:16:13.680 What about Morocco?
00:16:14.540 They're like, go out there and cry.
00:16:16.020 Never.
00:16:16.740 Of course they wouldn't say that.
00:16:18.520 I mean, this is not how I was raised.
00:16:20.940 That's why, for example, when the message of Andrew Tate is here, it's completely normal to me.
00:16:26.120 Because this is something my brother would say, my father would say, my, my cousin.
00:16:31.100 It's not something new or something very well shocking to the, to the, to me.
00:16:36.140 Hmm.
00:16:36.440 You know, what's interesting?
00:16:38.920 The main, people would freak out if someone just said, serve your husband, you're supposed
00:16:43.220 to serve your husband.
00:16:44.760 That's how.
00:16:45.500 But it's so normal from like actual traditional households.
00:16:48.640 But then they'll, they'll be like, you know, to her, they'll be like, oh, you're just,
00:16:53.200 you're a dumb Moroccan girl. 1.00
00:16:54.820 This is how we do it here in the most fucked up society in the West.
00:16:58.500 You know what?