A Heated Debate on Emotional BALANCE
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
207.47719
Summary
In this episode, we talk about women s equality in society and the differences between men and women. We talk about how women have always been more equal than men and how that has changed over the years. We also talk about the difference between women and men and why we should all be woke about it.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
You know, a lot of the things we're talking about is that, you know, all of this is just to have, I guess, to weaken men and that, you know, men are weak in all of this.
00:00:09.420
But going back to that, do you not think that this is actually just to weaken people, both men and women?
00:00:15.840
Because actually, men and women, we both need each other as much, you know, as much as a man needs a woman and vice versa.
00:00:23.180
So we're saying, you know, actually, this is all a systematic thing that's taken down men.
00:00:27.640
But actually, if women were just as woke about this, we would all just be as powerful.
00:00:34.780
So I think when men win, they win for everyone.
00:00:41.660
So like when men had all the more power in society, like they still gave women rights and privileges.
00:00:57.960
When we got the power to leave our husbands, we did.
00:01:06.340
Over the last 500 years, women have waged more wars than men when it comes to a percentage.
00:01:11.280
So like when women were in power, they wage war more, which makes sense.
00:01:16.520
I said more men have been in power in the last 500 years.
00:01:20.900
But I'm saying if you look at it as a percentage basis.
00:01:23.980
So if you look at like there was 10 women in power, it's a higher percentage that women have started wars.
00:01:31.900
Like imagine a group of guys living in a house versus a group of women.
00:01:35.300
Being labeled in like the whole group of women because I don't seem, I don't know.
00:01:39.400
I don't think I'm not the same as you and we're not the same as each other.
00:01:42.620
We have to make generalizations in order to have a conversation.
00:01:45.880
And I think there's like a female nature and a male.
00:01:47.960
That's where it gets a bit tricky though when we make generalizations.
00:01:53.280
I try not to make generalizations about people.
00:01:55.480
Well, then you can't have a conversation about anything.
00:01:57.860
Because then it's your pre-judging, aren't you?
00:02:01.100
And I like to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, you're not the same as you and vice versa.
00:02:06.620
Do you think it's equal that men get along the same way women get along?
00:02:14.180
So you're going to need to dumb that down a little bit for me now.
00:02:20.760
Do you think women get along the same way men get along?
00:02:24.580
So by getting along though, I think that's what I'm asking you to dumb down.
00:02:33.900
Do you mean, you know, undergoing hobbies together?
00:02:43.780
I think women disagree with each other more than men disagree with each other.
00:02:53.720
Do you think that comes from us being a little bit more emotional?
00:02:58.360
Well, I think we're, we had to be more socially, like men bully each other physically, where
00:03:03.260
I think women bully each other emotionally more.
00:03:05.260
So I think we're just more like our weapon is emotions, where men's a weapon is violence.
00:03:10.160
And that's what makes, that's what makes us different as men and women, isn't it?
00:03:13.520
But I also believe that within each person, we have a lot of balance, right?
00:03:17.500
So we all have masculine and feminine traits about us.
00:03:20.380
There's no one person that's just entirely masculine and there's no one woman or man that's
00:03:28.640
But I believe men and women are born in different, like I think, I don't think it's equal when
00:03:39.860
In this society that we've been brought up in, men and women are not equal.
00:03:47.080
Yeah, so like I think men are better leaders in general.
00:03:51.380
Yes, because they're less emotional and they are able to make clear decisions compared to
00:03:58.600
But sometimes you've got to leave those beliefs in Morocco when you come to the West.
00:04:03.420
I think sometimes though, you need a little, that's where balance comes in though, because
00:04:11.360
I do feel like things like that though, as much as we're saying like, okay, so like men are
00:04:17.560
Well, actually, I think you do need to have a little bit of emotion there for it to be
00:04:21.520
a leader because you need to be able to empathize with the people that you are leading.
00:04:28.540
I do not want a commander in chief general that's empathized.
00:04:32.980
I'm not saying be soft and I cry all the time, but I'm saying have balance.
00:04:37.580
When you have imbalance, that's when you have problems.
00:04:40.060
So there are plenty of male leaders who have balance and it's only a tiny bit of empathy,
00:04:49.840
But this is actually an example of like, you're telling men to emote like women.
00:04:55.800
No, but balance is like saying be more emotional, be more feminine.
00:05:02.420
We say about men, that's a horrible thing that people say is that men shouldn't cry.
00:05:10.200
But I feel like now it's starting to get normalized.
00:05:12.740
Like, I see a lot of things on social media about men should, should, if they want to express themselves
00:05:17.840
and if they want to cry, they should be allowed to.
00:05:30.640
To women, but why is that assumed to be like good?
00:05:35.020
If you're releasing an emotion that is keeping...
00:05:39.380
If it's troubling him and his natural emotion is that they're literally tears are welling up.
00:05:45.960
I'm not going to be like, suck those tears up, boy.
00:05:48.980
You've got to be a real man and go home and cry in secret.
00:05:52.100
But the fact is you're still crying, though, right?
00:06:03.380
This media campaign to push dudes to be more in tune with their emotions.
00:06:08.600
Listen, anybody who lives based upon their emotions is going to be a guaranteed failure.
00:06:15.680
That is the key thing I think we're all like not really grasping here is that I'm saying balance.
00:06:19.980
Because if you're too emotional, you're going to go one way.
00:06:22.620
And if you don't have any emotion at all, you're going to go the other way.
00:06:28.240
But at the same time, if you want to be a leader, if you're too emotional or, you know, you claim to have these balances.
00:06:35.000
But if you show an emotional side, that side can be manipulated against you.
00:06:46.320
That's what happens when men are too emotional.
00:06:51.300
Having emotion and displaying a little bit of emotion, I think, is kind of different to someone having mental illness.
00:06:56.040
But it's like, who are women to tell men how to emote?
00:06:58.820
But you are because you're saying, like, emote like a woman.
00:07:08.900
But you as a woman, so you're saying that from your point of view.
00:07:15.400
You're saying this is the perfect amount of emotional balance, whatever it is.
00:07:21.880
I don't want anyone to emote like me, first of all.
00:07:29.300
What I'm saying is, it's just, it's having that bit of balance.
00:07:34.400
Because there's a lot of pressure on men in this society as well.
00:07:37.580
That they have to constantly always be the strongest person.
00:07:41.520
As human beings, not everybody is strong 100% of the time.
00:07:53.020
So can you tell us how to identify where the line for the balance is?
00:07:58.620
Because I feel like that's very subjective for every person.
00:08:03.760
Because if you keep saying balance, balance, for everyone, it's going to be different.
00:08:09.300
And even when a man tries to be more emotional, he's going to be in front of a certain woman, right?
00:08:15.720
And he doesn't necessarily know if he becomes this much emotional, if he's going to put that woman off.
00:08:28.520
Because then you tend to remove all those problems.
00:08:31.520
And how much pressure does that put on a man if he has to contribute?
00:08:37.180
But these days, people are trying to tell men that we shouldn't do what we're built for.
00:08:42.500
Our ancestors had to run miles to look for food.
00:08:45.940
Our ancestors had to run miles to look for water.
00:08:50.280
But today, we're telling men, you need to cry more.
00:08:58.560
And I've also said that it is okay if you need to do so.
00:09:03.120
I said to have balance, not to be more emotional.
00:09:16.700
You say guys need to be more balanced and have logic and emotion, right?
00:09:21.140
But looking at the history of the West and society as it is right now,
00:09:25.800
those men have been typically more logical and less emotional.
00:09:32.060
Because it seems right now, as we're making the shift to men being more emotional,
00:09:39.880
I think where it comes from is maybe balance might not have been the correct word.
00:09:46.300
But what I'm saying is it's okay if a man needs to feel upset and he needs to cry.
00:09:51.200
I think my point is that we are constantly telling people, well, actually, no.
00:09:55.660
Deny that part of yourself, that human nature, that part of yourself that needs to do that.
00:10:01.220
I think, as I said, it puts so much pressure on young men to constantly be strong.
00:10:18.980
Again, like even now in the show, you're telling men to be more emotional than they were in the past.
00:10:27.220
So that equates to you can be more emotional than they previously were.
00:10:31.840
So, again, it's pushing men to emote more like women.
00:10:35.940
We have a different way of processing things to men.
00:10:43.240
What works for us is crying and then taking time out and then, you know, processing things however we do.
00:10:51.120
For men, that actually brings him further down.
00:10:54.780
If you're like, I know this from experience from talking to men.
00:11:00.040
If they allow themselves to become too emotional or more emotional than usual.
00:11:07.540
It makes them even more depressed and it makes them not be able to find that solution, which they would be able to if they had that stoicism to sort of carry on pushing.
00:11:17.380
And then that takes them out of the sadness in the first place because the thing which makes them sad, they found a solution for by not wasting time laying around crying.
00:11:25.560
So I think actually it's more damaging to push the be more sensitive and cry more because that actually is causing them to not be able to find solutions for themselves.
00:11:34.260
I had a comment that said, the highest personality traits required to be successful is conscientiousness and disagreeableness.
00:11:42.980
Men possess that and that leads to less emotional outputs.
00:11:46.120
And the more emotional you tell men to be, the less of a chance that man has to be a successful leader, making them more feminine.
00:12:00.900
Like, at the very basis of it, the biological nature of testosterone is it helps to build muscle.
00:12:08.980
And these are all things you need to do very strenuous physical activities.
00:12:13.100
So that being said, when a man feels like he's down or he feels like he's sad or depressed, the best possible way for him to let that out is through physical exercise, through physical activity, not through crying.
00:12:25.180
By the way, I think this has slightly been misconstrued a little bit because I've not said that a man has to cry.
00:12:40.900
And I don't understand where this misconstrued has come from either.
00:12:43.640
So it's either you're hearing what you want to hear or you're just not trying to understand what I'm saying here.
00:12:48.700
But what I am saying is that it is okay to do that.
00:12:51.240
If we tell somebody, no, you shouldn't cry, if that's what you're naturally trying to do, that's where that pressure comes from.
00:12:59.620
That is the way, you know, you release your anger, your emotions, whatever.
00:13:05.240
Some women also work out because actually women also have testosterone too, not the same levels.
00:13:12.060
And actually, I'm actually being an advocate for men here by having that empathy there.
00:13:16.920
Because I don't think it's fair that we put so much responsibility on men all the time.
00:13:23.900
Whatever your catharsis is, your way of releasing, that is your way of doing it.
00:13:37.940
Because if it is a natural reaction, it will happen regardless of whether he tries to stop it or not.
00:13:42.300
I think what the girls were saying is that right now, mainstream society is telling men to prioritize being emotional.
00:13:52.620
And I know that, you know, I think that's where we're having a miscommunication here.
00:14:08.380
Tell me a guy that cried to you and you stayed with him.
00:14:21.800
Like, I would want my partner to be comfortable enough to come and speak to me when he feels down.
00:14:36.500
If he didn't cry to you, you would have forgiven him for cheating.
00:14:45.180
Like, I, I used to think that, you know, men being emotional is really attractive and, you know, it's them being vulnerable and that means that they trust you enough to show that to you.
00:14:54.420
No, like, I don't want a man that is an emotional wreck.
00:14:59.180
I can't have a man that's always crying to me, this, this and that.
00:15:05.180
But when shit really does hit the fan, I don't want you to just, like, keep it all in.
00:15:26.120
I think just cry over things that, I don't know, like, that should be cried over.
00:15:30.980
Maybe, like, if a parent died or something like that.
00:15:33.460
But here's the, here's the issue, you said should be cried over.
00:15:39.600
And every woman a guy is going to deal with is going to have a different bar for what, what is too much and what isn't.
00:15:46.420
So instead of, you know, testing the waters, it's just easier for them to avoid the headache.
00:15:52.600
You know, because, because, because too emotional is going to be different for each girl on the couch.
00:15:59.220
And if they can prioritize for, for example, if the message was when a man gets
00:16:04.940
Like, imagine if the mainstream media was, uh, advertising this rather than when you're upset, just go and cry.
00:16:20.940
That's why, for example, when the message of Andrew Tate is here, it's completely normal to me.
00:16:26.120
Because this is something my brother would say, my father would say, my, my cousin.
00:16:31.100
It's not something new or something very well shocking to the, to the, to me.
00:16:38.920
The main, people would freak out if someone just said, serve your husband, you're supposed
00:16:45.500
But it's so normal from like actual traditional households.
00:16:48.640
But then they'll, they'll be like, you know, to her, they'll be like, oh, you're just,
00:16:54.820
This is how we do it here in the most fucked up society in the West.