JustPearlyThings - July 05, 2023


A PSYCHOLOGIST'S View On MEN


Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

188.63834

Word count

2,320

Sentence count

141

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Toxicity

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the importance of a good relationship with a man and how important it is for a woman to have a man in her life. This is a very important topic that is not talked about enough in the media and society.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What are we going to talk about? I want to hear more about your experience as a psychologist.
00:00:03.840 So what do you do, psychology? I have two education, clinical medical
00:00:08.160 psychologist, sexologist and family therapist. Okay. And it was very funny when it's become
00:00:13.840 to be stressed up how immediately he changed topic about sex. It's very normal for men.
00:00:19.200 If women will wake up every morning, your man with blue job goes, I promise you, it's your man 1.00
00:00:25.120 and less wars, less problems, less conflict in this world. Very often when you start to fight,
00:00:32.880 just make a sex and after sex, a lot of conflicts will disappear. What do you see the difference
00:00:40.560 between Russian women and Western women? I work with a lot of American women. I work with every 1.00
00:00:46.880 world and a lot of Europe. I never worked in Russia. I left when I was a student and I always work on
00:00:54.640 Europe and America. And I noticed, but from my, for example, my mother lives with my father 45 years
00:01:02.160 and they are very happy. We are three children. They have six grandchildren and we continue to be
00:01:09.360 always together and support each other. My two ex-husbands, they love me a lot. They support me a lot.
00:01:14.800 They are my best friends. We are always common together. My stepmother is always crazy about me. 0.79
00:01:22.240 You know, divorce, it's not an end. You can love so much each other. We go to the holidays. We make today
00:01:29.280 or the birthday. It's very normal from people who develop and mature. For me, not normal when people
00:01:34.960 divorce and fight. I don't understand it. And in my experience, you, my mother always respect my father,
00:01:41.760 but always you're obliged to respect. And always she put my father up than children. She always say,
00:01:48.160 your father's sleeping. Now it's my time with father. And until today, she so admire him. Say,
00:01:54.480 see how beautiful your father. He's 75 and he still work. My father until now take care about my mother,
00:02:00.240 take her on holiday, make gifts, flowers. All my husband always take care about me. Until today,
00:02:06.320 they make me gifts and take care about me because it's normal. But I really admire and respect all of
00:02:12.160 them. I very respect my father and I will always appreciate him. He's not perfect, but it's my father
00:02:18.720 and I always love him. I always love my ex-husband and father of my child always, forever. And always
00:02:25.600 we respect him and always only good words. I very appreciate him. And it's normally behavior when you're
00:02:30.720 like this. In my business, I was in Forbes, one of the most successful entrepreneurs in Bulgaria and
00:02:36.560 men helped me to make business. I very respect men. Yes. Yes. Thank you. No, no, no. Thank you.
00:02:43.040 Because most women that are actually successful. Men help me. Men help me. I know, but that's, 0.98
00:02:49.680 that's, we will always acknowledge. Like I can always tell the like boss, babe, do it on my own.
00:02:55.600 That mentality as a woman will get you nowhere in business. I am where I am at because 1.00
00:03:00.480 I've listened to men smarter than me. You know, I, uh, my first, I was many years in,
00:03:07.680 until today in media business and has the first show about sex in Bulgaria and has a man like
00:03:13.440 Larry King here in Bulgaria. He invited me and together with him, we make our TV show. It was a
00:03:18.080 revolution because never people speak about sex so openly. And after him, I has many projects about
00:03:25.600 coaching psychology, but always I remember that men helps me. You cannot make
00:03:30.400 successful business if not have men on your back. My husband helped me, my, uh, friends helped me,
00:03:36.720 men helped me always. Well, and do you know what I realized too? Do you know what I hate?
00:03:41.040 And I hate this to my core women that think they're better than men because they make more money 1.00
00:03:45.520 because just because it's like, I make a lot for a girl, right? But well, I mean, I, I do well and I
00:03:51.360 make more than a lot of men, but I'm not better than the guy that built the building because I wouldn't
00:03:55.600 be able to do any of this without men. But it's like, we have made women's lives so comfortable
00:04:01.200 that we don't realize we need men. I need a man when they, to protect me if anyone breaks in. I
00:04:07.120 need a man to build the building. I need a man to do the plumbing. I need a man to do the electricity. 0.98
00:04:10.880 I need a man to invent stuff. It's like the re successful women cannot do what they do without 1.00
00:04:16.560 men. And so it irritates me to my core when we get to a certain point and then shit on them as a 1.00
00:04:22.400 thank you because we couldn't get there in the first place. One example I see of this is like 0.93
00:04:26.800 Chelsea Handler. You know, she, she's turned into like a man hater when she couldn't even do comedy 0.99
00:04:32.720 without the microphone. She couldn't do comedy without the building. She couldn't do comedy
00:04:37.040 without Ticketmaster, which was invented by a man. Oh wait, you can unmute her mic. That was a girl from
00:04:43.840 earlier. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, I totally agree with you. Like we cannot work in isolation and say,
00:04:52.160 is it working? Yeah, it is. Yeah, we can hear you now. Okay. So having six brothers and around men
00:04:59.680 all my life, like, you know, even now when I'm single, I've got so many men friends and there are
00:05:06.480 things in my house, like if the balcony is changing or that fish thing has broken, I always say, oh,
00:05:13.680 I will wish there's a man there or somebody, or I call a man to come and do the job. And
00:05:18.880 definitely this world can't, you know, work without them. And equally, like, you know,
00:05:27.920 for us women, definitely there is like an element of they bring protection, they bring security, 1.00
00:05:34.160 they are more stronger, which I feel like even in my religion, if you look at Muslim as a religion,
00:05:41.440 we pray behind men. And I love that about it because there is, there is a sense of like security.
00:05:48.480 We are emotional. We are emotional. We need to be taken care by men. Like, you know, brought up with 0.95
00:05:54.800 six brothers. I, I have that, you know, I have that thing of, it gives you strength, actually. It really
00:06:02.480 does like, you know, so there is no going back about a woman. No, we can't. We literally can't. 0.96
00:06:11.520 We just literally can't. And the crazy thing in all of history, we have not needed women in the 1.00
00:06:16.080 workforce. We have not, I'm not saying there are not exceptions, there are, but as a whole,
00:06:20.560 we have not needed them. So why do we think now is different? Like, why is now special?
00:06:25.280 That's a very good question. I think, obviously, because we, it's, it's just the mindset has changed
00:06:37.040 to, we, we, like a lot of people say to me, you're very strong woman, and you're very powerful woman.
00:06:45.760 And it just sometimes, I was like, no, I'm not, I need, I need this kind of help. But it's just the
00:06:51.920 more people say that to me, you're very strong, the more I get labeled as somebody, oh, a man
00:06:58.000 doesn't need to take care of, in fact, in my last relationship, I felt like that's what happened,
00:07:02.480 that he perceived me as so strong, that he's just like, you don't need me. And I'm like, I do,
00:07:08.720 like, but it's just the way positioning of, okay, I have to be responsible for my kids,
00:07:14.080 I'm living on my own, you know, that kind of thing. And it's, it's, it's like, it's that perception,
00:07:20.080 how do you, my question is, how, as a woman, you balance it all that you can still go out, 0.98
00:07:27.280 like being a finance director of a company, I didn't choose that career, I, I fell into from,
00:07:33.520 and then I started loving finance and numbers, and I'm passionate about it, to make a difference at
00:07:39.440 workplace, etc. But I don't necessarily call myself, I'm, I'm a career woman, yeah, I would love to be at
00:07:48.720 home and be someone's might and serve him. That's what I did for 18 years, with the men I was with.
00:07:54.320 It's just, there was no communication, there was nothing there in the sense of...
00:07:59.040 I don't, I don't know, I just don't get that.
00:08:01.200 I know, I know. I think what happened, he told me...
00:08:03.520 It's that culture, isn't it? It's the Pakistani Muslim culture.
00:08:07.360 I think what happened and what he shared with me in the end was,
00:08:10.960 why he didn't communicate with me, from, from literally the wedding night, is he thought,
00:08:17.440 he's bringing a girl from, I think he wasn't ready to get married, and he was pushed into it because
00:08:22.480 they wanted the younger brother to get married. So he married a girl from Pakistan, who couldn't even 1.00
00:08:29.120 wear, because he wanted me to wear heels, to fly back here, like, you know, on my plane journey back,
00:08:35.520 and my father-in-law had the keys for the suitcase and bags, and I did go to my father-in-law,
00:08:41.840 I said, can I have, so I can take the heels out, and he said, no, it's all closed.
00:08:45.680 So this man, he decided not to talk to me on the whole plane journey, and at that time I realized
00:08:51.920 I married a complete stranger, he's not even talking to me, and I'm going to his country.
00:08:55.680 So like in 18, I just don't know, you didn't have a conversation in 18 years?
00:08:59.360 Well, yeah, other than, okay, here's the food, here is this, nothing, nothing about future,
00:09:05.520 nothing. That's what, what made me like, you know, I got myself busy.
00:09:09.200 Yeah, the only reason, just the story doesn't make sense.
00:09:13.840 But what he told me in the end was, his words were, I married a girl from a village,
00:09:20.000 and you don't know how to have a conversation, is his sentence. I don't know what he was dealing
00:09:25.280 with. I still think he was, he's a great human being, because he didn't do anything wrong in
00:09:30.640 the sense of, he didn't go and cheated on me, he didn't, he wasn't a drinker, nothing like that.
00:09:36.640 But I think there was a communication gap between us, and I wasn't, like how I'm talking today,
00:09:44.080 you have met me 10 years ago, I was a very quiet, I actually enjoy when he comes home,
00:09:50.880 get the dinner ready, house should be super clean, my kids should be in bed,
00:09:54.800 I love nurturing, that motherly instinct.
00:09:57.120 I know, I just, even like hearing this, I just don't hear a real reason for divorce.
00:10:01.120 Yeah.
00:10:01.440 Yeah, that, no, this is just, it was, it was more of a, when I married him,
00:10:07.120 he was in financial debt, and he keep getting himself into financial debt.
00:10:10.880 Okay, so it was more finance.
00:10:12.560 I, it's more finance for him, he, he, he was really into branded stuff, and then he loses contract,
00:10:18.720 and I always go and support him, like I went out, worked, paid his debt off.
00:10:22.800 Okay, so it was money.
00:10:25.120 It was keep, I keep building him, and it was keep going down, and I think it has an impact on me,
00:10:31.440 like there was no stability with the two kids, and I then made a decision, and I said,
00:10:36.480 it's not healthy for him, it's not.
00:10:38.400 Do you know, but do you know what confuses me, because like wouldn't it still be more expensive,
00:10:42.080 because then it's two rents instead of one?
00:10:43.920 He went back to his mom's house, and he didn't financially, not, I'm just curious,
00:10:50.960 because I just hear this stuff a lot, and like a lot of times, it just doesn't make sense to me.
00:10:55.200 It is not like I have tried to, like five years, I give it back and forth, back and forth,
00:11:00.000 and I even promised his mother once, he's never coming back, I'm taking care of him,
00:11:04.480 but I think at one point.
00:11:05.600 Okay, so he was like a son husband.
00:11:06.880 Yeah, exactly, but having two kids and him, three of them with financial pressures,
00:11:12.240 I felt like I broke down at that stage, and I said, I can't do this anymore.
00:11:16.720 Can I say something?
00:11:17.680 We're going to react, I'm going to read Super Chats right now,
00:11:21.760 and then we're going to react to a video, which I wanted to do earlier,
00:11:25.680 but you know, this conversation got a little derailed.
00:11:30.160 I will say that is my weakness as a host sometimes, controlling the craziest.
00:11:35.040 Myron does a really great job, it's harder than you think.
00:11:37.920 I used to think Myron was really harsh on the women, I really did, 1.00
00:11:42.560 but he does such a great job of like keeping everyone in line much better than me, let me tell you, go ahead.
00:11:48.000 No, I mean, I would say my experience on Fresh and Fit, and then my experience here with you,
00:11:53.440 you and Myron have a lot in common, I think, I think you guys, the way you are,
00:11:58.080 we both, you know, run a really clean operation, real team.
00:12:01.520 Yeah, well, I just meant, he does such a good job of like,
00:12:04.320 he does such a good job of not letting people like over talk each other,
00:12:07.760 like that whole thing would not have gone on like half as long if he was, you know what I'm saying?
00:12:12.240 No, but you go hard though too, yeah, both of you go hard, both of you are welcoming too.
00:12:16.960 Yeah.
00:12:17.520 Yeah.