A PSYCHOLOGIST'S View On MEN
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about the importance of a good relationship with a man and how important it is for a woman to have a man in her life. This is a very important topic that is not talked about enough in the media and society.
Transcript
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What are we going to talk about? I want to hear more about your experience as a psychologist.
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So what do you do, psychology? I have two education, clinical medical
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psychologist, sexologist and family therapist. Okay. And it was very funny when it's become
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to be stressed up how immediately he changed topic about sex. It's very normal for men.
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If women will wake up every morning, your man with blue job goes, I promise you, it's your man
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and less wars, less problems, less conflict in this world. Very often when you start to fight,
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just make a sex and after sex, a lot of conflicts will disappear. What do you see the difference
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between Russian women and Western women? I work with a lot of American women. I work with every
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world and a lot of Europe. I never worked in Russia. I left when I was a student and I always work on
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Europe and America. And I noticed, but from my, for example, my mother lives with my father 45 years
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and they are very happy. We are three children. They have six grandchildren and we continue to be
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always together and support each other. My two ex-husbands, they love me a lot. They support me a lot.
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They are my best friends. We are always common together. My stepmother is always crazy about me.
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You know, divorce, it's not an end. You can love so much each other. We go to the holidays. We make today
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or the birthday. It's very normal from people who develop and mature. For me, not normal when people
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divorce and fight. I don't understand it. And in my experience, you, my mother always respect my father,
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but always you're obliged to respect. And always she put my father up than children. She always say,
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your father's sleeping. Now it's my time with father. And until today, she so admire him. Say,
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see how beautiful your father. He's 75 and he still work. My father until now take care about my mother,
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take her on holiday, make gifts, flowers. All my husband always take care about me. Until today,
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they make me gifts and take care about me because it's normal. But I really admire and respect all of
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them. I very respect my father and I will always appreciate him. He's not perfect, but it's my father
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and I always love him. I always love my ex-husband and father of my child always, forever. And always
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we respect him and always only good words. I very appreciate him. And it's normally behavior when you're
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like this. In my business, I was in Forbes, one of the most successful entrepreneurs in Bulgaria and
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men helped me to make business. I very respect men. Yes. Yes. Thank you. No, no, no. Thank you.
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Because most women that are actually successful. Men help me. Men help me. I know, but that's,
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that's, we will always acknowledge. Like I can always tell the like boss, babe, do it on my own.
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That mentality as a woman will get you nowhere in business. I am where I am at because
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I've listened to men smarter than me. You know, I, uh, my first, I was many years in,
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until today in media business and has the first show about sex in Bulgaria and has a man like
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Larry King here in Bulgaria. He invited me and together with him, we make our TV show. It was a
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revolution because never people speak about sex so openly. And after him, I has many projects about
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coaching psychology, but always I remember that men helps me. You cannot make
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successful business if not have men on your back. My husband helped me, my, uh, friends helped me,
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men helped me always. Well, and do you know what I realized too? Do you know what I hate?
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And I hate this to my core women that think they're better than men because they make more money
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because just because it's like, I make a lot for a girl, right? But well, I mean, I, I do well and I
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make more than a lot of men, but I'm not better than the guy that built the building because I wouldn't
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be able to do any of this without men. But it's like, we have made women's lives so comfortable
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that we don't realize we need men. I need a man when they, to protect me if anyone breaks in. I
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need a man to build the building. I need a man to do the plumbing. I need a man to do the electricity.
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I need a man to invent stuff. It's like the re successful women cannot do what they do without
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men. And so it irritates me to my core when we get to a certain point and then shit on them as a
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thank you because we couldn't get there in the first place. One example I see of this is like
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Chelsea Handler. You know, she, she's turned into like a man hater when she couldn't even do comedy
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without the microphone. She couldn't do comedy without the building. She couldn't do comedy
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without Ticketmaster, which was invented by a man. Oh wait, you can unmute her mic. That was a girl from
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earlier. Go ahead. Go ahead. No, I totally agree with you. Like we cannot work in isolation and say,
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is it working? Yeah, it is. Yeah, we can hear you now. Okay. So having six brothers and around men
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all my life, like, you know, even now when I'm single, I've got so many men friends and there are
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things in my house, like if the balcony is changing or that fish thing has broken, I always say, oh,
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I will wish there's a man there or somebody, or I call a man to come and do the job. And
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definitely this world can't, you know, work without them. And equally, like, you know,
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for us women, definitely there is like an element of they bring protection, they bring security,
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they are more stronger, which I feel like even in my religion, if you look at Muslim as a religion,
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we pray behind men. And I love that about it because there is, there is a sense of like security.
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We are emotional. We are emotional. We need to be taken care by men. Like, you know, brought up with
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six brothers. I, I have that, you know, I have that thing of, it gives you strength, actually. It really
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does like, you know, so there is no going back about a woman. No, we can't. We literally can't.
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We just literally can't. And the crazy thing in all of history, we have not needed women in the
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workforce. We have not, I'm not saying there are not exceptions, there are, but as a whole,
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we have not needed them. So why do we think now is different? Like, why is now special?
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That's a very good question. I think, obviously, because we, it's, it's just the mindset has changed
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to, we, we, like a lot of people say to me, you're very strong woman, and you're very powerful woman.
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And it just sometimes, I was like, no, I'm not, I need, I need this kind of help. But it's just the
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more people say that to me, you're very strong, the more I get labeled as somebody, oh, a man
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doesn't need to take care of, in fact, in my last relationship, I felt like that's what happened,
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that he perceived me as so strong, that he's just like, you don't need me. And I'm like, I do,
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like, but it's just the way positioning of, okay, I have to be responsible for my kids,
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I'm living on my own, you know, that kind of thing. And it's, it's, it's like, it's that perception,
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how do you, my question is, how, as a woman, you balance it all that you can still go out,
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like being a finance director of a company, I didn't choose that career, I, I fell into from,
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and then I started loving finance and numbers, and I'm passionate about it, to make a difference at
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workplace, etc. But I don't necessarily call myself, I'm, I'm a career woman, yeah, I would love to be at
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home and be someone's might and serve him. That's what I did for 18 years, with the men I was with.
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It's just, there was no communication, there was nothing there in the sense of...
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I know, I know. I think what happened, he told me...
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It's that culture, isn't it? It's the Pakistani Muslim culture.
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I think what happened and what he shared with me in the end was,
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why he didn't communicate with me, from, from literally the wedding night, is he thought,
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he's bringing a girl from, I think he wasn't ready to get married, and he was pushed into it because
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they wanted the younger brother to get married. So he married a girl from Pakistan, who couldn't even
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wear, because he wanted me to wear heels, to fly back here, like, you know, on my plane journey back,
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and my father-in-law had the keys for the suitcase and bags, and I did go to my father-in-law,
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I said, can I have, so I can take the heels out, and he said, no, it's all closed.
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So this man, he decided not to talk to me on the whole plane journey, and at that time I realized
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I married a complete stranger, he's not even talking to me, and I'm going to his country.
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So like in 18, I just don't know, you didn't have a conversation in 18 years?
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Well, yeah, other than, okay, here's the food, here is this, nothing, nothing about future,
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nothing. That's what, what made me like, you know, I got myself busy.
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Yeah, the only reason, just the story doesn't make sense.
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But what he told me in the end was, his words were, I married a girl from a village,
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and you don't know how to have a conversation, is his sentence. I don't know what he was dealing
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with. I still think he was, he's a great human being, because he didn't do anything wrong in
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the sense of, he didn't go and cheated on me, he didn't, he wasn't a drinker, nothing like that.
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But I think there was a communication gap between us, and I wasn't, like how I'm talking today,
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you have met me 10 years ago, I was a very quiet, I actually enjoy when he comes home,
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get the dinner ready, house should be super clean, my kids should be in bed,
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I know, I just, even like hearing this, I just don't hear a real reason for divorce.
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Yeah, that, no, this is just, it was, it was more of a, when I married him,
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he was in financial debt, and he keep getting himself into financial debt.
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I, it's more finance for him, he, he, he was really into branded stuff, and then he loses contract,
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and I always go and support him, like I went out, worked, paid his debt off.
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It was keep, I keep building him, and it was keep going down, and I think it has an impact on me,
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like there was no stability with the two kids, and I then made a decision, and I said,
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Do you know, but do you know what confuses me, because like wouldn't it still be more expensive,
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He went back to his mom's house, and he didn't financially, not, I'm just curious,
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because I just hear this stuff a lot, and like a lot of times, it just doesn't make sense to me.
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It is not like I have tried to, like five years, I give it back and forth, back and forth,
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and I even promised his mother once, he's never coming back, I'm taking care of him,
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Yeah, exactly, but having two kids and him, three of them with financial pressures,
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I felt like I broke down at that stage, and I said, I can't do this anymore.
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We're going to react, I'm going to read Super Chats right now,
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and then we're going to react to a video, which I wanted to do earlier,
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but you know, this conversation got a little derailed.
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I will say that is my weakness as a host sometimes, controlling the craziest.
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Myron does a really great job, it's harder than you think.
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I used to think Myron was really harsh on the women, I really did,
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but he does such a great job of like keeping everyone in line much better than me, let me tell you, go ahead.
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No, I mean, I would say my experience on Fresh and Fit, and then my experience here with you,
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you and Myron have a lot in common, I think, I think you guys, the way you are,
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we both, you know, run a really clean operation, real team.
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Yeah, well, I just meant, he does such a good job of like,
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he does such a good job of not letting people like over talk each other,
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like that whole thing would not have gone on like half as long if he was, you know what I'm saying?
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No, but you go hard though too, yeah, both of you go hard, both of you are welcoming too.