About How SELFISH Modern Women ARE
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
217.84052
Summary
In this episode, we discuss racism in the UK and its effect on race relations and the care provided to children in daycare centres and institutional care centres. We also discuss the benefits and drawbacks of daycare and the challenges that come with it.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
that race relations are different that's that's that's the thing you could just never understand
00:00:03.680
someone else's point of view of certain things because you might think like you said that you
00:00:07.280
felt that that was racist yeah i don't i personally don't think that's to me i think he made it into
00:00:11.360
a race thing the way he generalized the whole um situation but i don't think that's basically
00:00:16.800
with races because i could sit here now and say you know what he's right i can relate to him my
00:00:21.680
son being black being put into a nursery and being raised in a nursery he um he was he wasn't eating
00:00:27.280
black food at home and i hated that and i'm just like what can i do we're in a white country and
00:00:32.080
they're what they're not gonna feed him rice they're not gonna cook him rice because i i asked him
00:00:36.720
they're gonna feed them the stuff that people eat in this country but that's a very different
00:00:40.080
situation because you're putting your child in an institution where they need to be looked after
00:00:43.440
and you're just unhappy with the food that they are providing the child he's talking about he's
00:00:48.320
talking about the individuals doing the care it's nothing to do with the food that's being
00:00:52.320
provided do you want to sound like this but yeah about the identity and the ethnicity of the
00:00:56.000
individual yeah and i feel the same way as well where at some point i was thinking to myself i
00:01:00.160
need to watch the nursery closer i don't want them to um neglect my son any type of way because i don't
00:01:05.040
think they might understand the certain things that he might naturally the certain characteristics
00:01:09.520
that he might naturally have as a black boy oh i understand that but i don't think it's right to
00:01:13.840
make a sweeping general relation me as a black woman i would never go in and laugh at you do you
00:01:18.480
want to sound like that's okay but you sound like he's made a sweeping generalization maybe you have
00:01:22.800
to be very careful yeah when you're making such generalizations about people's races and the care
00:01:27.440
that they're providing if you have an issue with the care itself and the fact that you're unhappy
00:01:31.840
putting your child sometimes the care no you can't now turn around and say that it's because these
00:01:36.800
people are immigrants it's because this is where they've come from that's an individual issue would you
00:01:41.040
like to answer yeah the point is the point is this a child is totally vulnerable you know
00:01:48.480
they're they're completely helpless and they're also these are their formative years that this is
00:01:53.520
their brain developing the damage done to a child can never be undone i agree and so that's why the
00:01:58.960
person that's overseeing their development should be the mother or if not the mother it should be
00:02:04.240
somebody close it should be a grandmother should be an aunt yeah when you throw them into a daycare
00:02:08.880
it's like you just get what you get and it could be these people and and you're right i mean and i'll
00:02:13.920
say this you could have a daycare worker who's the amazing you know no matter what the race could be
00:02:18.640
amazing and could love them so much that's often not what you get in these types of positions if it's
00:02:24.080
a retirement home retirement home doesn't pay super well to be like an orderly daycare worker doesn't
00:02:30.480
pay super well if you're like on a budget or something so they're bringing people in who even are
00:02:35.680
these people they pay him nothing here's my child during the most formative year in their development
00:02:40.720
are they going to get cared for the way a human being needs to i don't think so and and race
00:02:47.440
actually does play into that and immigration does play into that hundred percent i think it's also
00:02:53.920
elitist who can actually afford to have better care for their kids yeah i agree i think it's
00:03:00.640
socioeconomics but it's not it's not you don't have to be an elitist to to be a stay-at-home mother
00:03:05.440
socioeconomics can you afford to be a stay-at-home mother i think in this country there are numerous
00:03:11.600
muslim families who raise a dozen kids with one father and one mother one father one mother they
00:03:18.080
got the help from the community well bingo yeah where's where is the your local community i wish
00:03:24.240
we had it okay and good we agree on something those women are often able to go down in lifestyle for a
00:03:30.400
family where um women that are able to survive on one income are able to go down on lifestyle for a
00:03:37.680
family like a lot of women just they want to buy clothes all the time they want to go get their nails
00:03:42.240
done their hair done and then they're like oh oh i can't afford i can't we can't live off of one income
00:03:49.440
well if you're spending 500 bucks a month on your your maintenance to maintain you of course
00:03:55.760
of course you're not going to be able to afford kids do you know what the national average income
00:03:59.760
is in the uk um 34 000 pounds 36 at the moment 36 yeah and do you know how much it is to raise a kid
00:04:06.480
on average um no it's 11 000 a year yeah but that's assuming you're doing it on your own if you just
00:04:13.520
talked about muslim families yeah yeah it is assuming we're doing it on our own division of
00:04:20.000
labor yeah and the other thing they don't talk about with those stats is they often amp them up
00:04:25.680
i i talked to a woman in florida that's the thing that they sell women that oh you can't you can't
00:04:29.760
raise kids on like this amount of money but i talked to this lady in florida and she really
00:04:34.080
changed my perspective on it she raised 10 kids on ten thousand dollars a year yeah yeah i think that's
00:04:38.560
but she just i feel like everything is by choice she learned everything herself she learned how to
00:04:42.880
sew she learned how to cook like cook everything from scratch she grows her own food like there's
00:04:47.120
nothing stopping i feel like there's a spectrum to there's a spectrum to like every example we've
00:04:51.600
given here work you don't have to be like motivation can i just say something i think that there's like
00:04:58.080
a whole spectrum that i'm seeing in this conversation is from one end to the other you don't have to be
00:05:03.200
extremely at one end where like you have to sew each one of yours or like sellotape your kids you
00:05:09.600
can't you don't have to you don't that's one you don't have and and then the other end sorry the
00:05:15.040
other end is where you literally are spending so much on yourself on maintenance and you can't take
00:05:19.040
care of your kids you're sacrificing your own lifestyle for your kids i mean i feel like if you
00:05:23.520
study yourself you study your lifestyle and how many kids that you have and how often you're spreading
00:05:27.680
your legs you should know how to put yourself on a spectrum it's that easy and we can't blame we can
00:05:32.160
sit here and say oh um um when it comes to like money or economy we can say okay the government
00:05:37.840
and the community but really and truly the community did you didn't they didn't sign a
00:05:41.600
contract to help you look after your kids that's how personally you feel i'm not no no you can all
00:05:45.840
you could if you want children and you feel like you can't raise them on the salary that you're on
00:05:50.000
then get a a better job for a bigger salary than have the child but i just hate hearing how they always
00:05:56.640
make women i have a child so i hate people just stereotyping me thinking oh because
00:06:02.000
i have a child and at some point i was single that i was struggling i was never struggling
00:06:06.160
because i knew at that point in my life i had the right job i could get myself a car house everything
00:06:12.320
so i was able to maintain it don't just have children and be unsure of what the future holds
00:06:17.520
and then if the future doesn't go in your way with talk where we're holding up to like the government
00:06:22.480
the community that this that's absolutely bullshit to me or that you have to completely rid of any
00:06:27.520
kind of lifestyle just yeah my nails are done like my lashes are done and i still have a child and he's
00:06:33.440
he's and this that's what makes me happy that's why i said that because at some point i couldn't do
00:06:38.240
them things at some point i knew that my child came first i wanted to be like um a 21 year old female
00:06:45.200
in london in the uk traveling here and there all my friends used to ask me like let's go here let's go
00:06:50.480
there i had the money to book the flight when they wanted to i had the but i kind of stayed away from
00:06:54.800
them type of friendships not like i cut them off i told them i'm not in the right situation or them
00:06:59.520
friends they'll call me let's go out this weekend some some female some female friends that i know
00:07:04.640
with children if you call them and say let's go out this weekend they'll be looking for a babysitter
00:07:08.960
i don't want a situation that puts me in a situation in um in a state of mind where i have to now
00:07:15.120
maneuver my my son's lifestyle or his his ability to just be comfortable in his own home just because
00:07:21.120
i want to go out so we choose the lifestyle really if i chose to have that child and choose to and
00:07:28.240
that's a more traditional mindset because it's the kid before you but the modern mentality is me me me
00:07:33.920
me i'm going to put my happiness before my family i'm going to buy my happiness before my kid it's all
00:07:38.400
about me it's a shame they won't say it they won't say it but they that's what i said that's the
00:07:45.680
example that i just gave i was a 21 year old um young woman single with a child and just starting
00:07:51.760
university and with no family support or anything and i wanted to have the nicest hair i wanted to
00:07:57.520
have the nicest shoes all the designers i wanted it but i said you know what i put in in in my mind i
00:08:03.040
can use this money that i have to buy this and make myself happy but you're not in the right
00:08:08.480
financial means to do that so that's going to affect you you don't know what's going to
00:08:12.480
happen tomorrow in an emergency if something happens if i'm not able to care for my son i'm
00:08:17.200
going to look stupid because i failed as a mother did you see where i'm coming from so what do you
00:08:21.840
think can women have it all career me yeah i very much agree um i mean canner can't i think they can
00:08:29.680
but it's it's all about prioritizing what for the what is important for you for that moment
00:08:35.280
so i'm about to be 27 i've spent the last x number of years you know educating myself studying
00:08:41.920
spending the time for me to live the life that i would like but i also want a family at the end of
00:08:46.240
the day so i know that i i like the fact that you asked the question like can we have it all
00:08:51.920
at once because i think if you'd ask us a question can you have it all just at any point yeah i agree
00:08:58.400
with that i think i can be able to live my life in my 20s and then at the point where i feel like
00:09:02.480
i can settle down and have a family i'm now putting all of my time and my effort into that
00:09:07.760
but can i do that at the same time no that's very unrealistic very delusional and very irresponsible
00:09:13.680
because i'm not now going to have a job if i personally want to work have a corporate job i had
00:09:19.200
a corporate job work a corporate job and also have a family i cannot give my 100 to both yeah do you
00:09:24.880
think that spending your 20s um doing that it prepares you to be a wife i think well if the
00:09:32.480
idea if you want to be a wife then i feel like you should be pairing yourself anyway i don't understand
00:09:37.760
what is that in your 20s is that in your like i'm just saying typically i don't i don't think men
00:09:41.840
typically want women that have spent their 20s focusing on themselves and then say at 30 oh i'm ready
00:09:47.600
well i think that's a problem because you should be with somebody that is career driven and has
00:09:51.440
something outside of the home otherwise why should they be that why should they be why should they
00:09:57.520
ask you i'm just i'm just i'm just asking yeah i'm asking the question is as a man i'm obviously not a
00:10:01.920
man what is it that meant value in a women clearly it's very different but my idea my thought process
00:10:08.480
is i want to be able to have traveled be open-minded because if you're traditional men i'm assuming you
00:10:14.240
want to have a family you want to have kids don't you want to be with a woman that is worldly educated
00:10:19.600
well-traveled can bring something to the table rather than somebody that has absolutely no idea
00:10:25.440
about anything in life and really can't contribute anything outside of just being a woman um well
00:10:30.320
oh do you want to go first sorry yeah no that's a simple answer isn't it yeah no no we don't want
00:10:35.120
that at all okay on one there's on one key point there um the idea of being well traveled is a giant
00:10:41.440
red flag for most for most men um because typically when a woman if you if i look at a woman's instagram
00:10:48.400
page and i see pictures of her on a private jet on a yacht in multiple different fancy locations
00:10:53.600
she's in mykonos here she's in paris she's in dubai she's in new york my immediate assumption is this
00:10:59.040
woman is a hoe as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily
00:11:05.520
basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below every donation