JustPearlyThings - April 14, 2023


About How SELFISH Modern Women ARE


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

217.84052

Word count

2,495

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss racism in the UK and its effect on race relations and the care provided to children in daycare centres and institutional care centres. We also discuss the benefits and drawbacks of daycare and the challenges that come with it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 that race relations are different that's that's that's the thing you could just never understand
00:00:03.680 someone else's point of view of certain things because you might think like you said that you
00:00:07.280 felt that that was racist yeah i don't i personally don't think that's to me i think he made it into
00:00:11.360 a race thing the way he generalized the whole um situation but i don't think that's basically
00:00:16.800 with races because i could sit here now and say you know what he's right i can relate to him my
00:00:21.680 son being black being put into a nursery and being raised in a nursery he um he was he wasn't eating
00:00:27.280 black food at home and i hated that and i'm just like what can i do we're in a white country and
00:00:32.080 they're what they're not gonna feed him rice they're not gonna cook him rice because i i asked him
00:00:36.720 they're gonna feed them the stuff that people eat in this country but that's a very different
00:00:40.080 situation because you're putting your child in an institution where they need to be looked after
00:00:43.440 and you're just unhappy with the food that they are providing the child he's talking about he's
00:00:48.320 talking about the individuals doing the care it's nothing to do with the food that's being
00:00:52.320 provided do you want to sound like this but yeah about the identity and the ethnicity of the
00:00:56.000 individual yeah and i feel the same way as well where at some point i was thinking to myself i
00:01:00.160 need to watch the nursery closer i don't want them to um neglect my son any type of way because i don't
00:01:05.040 think they might understand the certain things that he might naturally the certain characteristics
00:01:09.520 that he might naturally have as a black boy oh i understand that but i don't think it's right to 1.00
00:01:13.840 make a sweeping general relation me as a black woman i would never go in and laugh at you do you
00:01:18.480 want to sound like that's okay but you sound like he's made a sweeping generalization maybe you have
00:01:22.800 to be very careful yeah when you're making such generalizations about people's races and the care
00:01:27.440 that they're providing if you have an issue with the care itself and the fact that you're unhappy
00:01:31.840 putting your child sometimes the care no you can't now turn around and say that it's because these
00:01:36.800 people are immigrants it's because this is where they've come from that's an individual issue would you
00:01:41.040 like to answer yeah the point is the point is this a child is totally vulnerable you know
00:01:48.480 they're they're completely helpless and they're also these are their formative years that this is
00:01:53.520 their brain developing the damage done to a child can never be undone i agree and so that's why the
00:01:58.960 person that's overseeing their development should be the mother or if not the mother it should be 0.95
00:02:04.240 somebody close it should be a grandmother should be an aunt yeah when you throw them into a daycare 0.84
00:02:08.880 it's like you just get what you get and it could be these people and and you're right i mean and i'll
00:02:13.920 say this you could have a daycare worker who's the amazing you know no matter what the race could be
00:02:18.640 amazing and could love them so much that's often not what you get in these types of positions if it's
00:02:24.080 a retirement home retirement home doesn't pay super well to be like an orderly daycare worker doesn't 0.95
00:02:30.480 pay super well if you're like on a budget or something so they're bringing people in who even are
00:02:35.680 these people they pay him nothing here's my child during the most formative year in their development
00:02:40.720 are they going to get cared for the way a human being needs to i don't think so and and race
00:02:47.440 actually does play into that and immigration does play into that hundred percent i think it's also
00:02:53.920 elitist who can actually afford to have better care for their kids yeah i agree i think it's
00:03:00.640 socioeconomics but it's not it's not you don't have to be an elitist to to be a stay-at-home mother 0.99
00:03:05.440 socioeconomics can you afford to be a stay-at-home mother i think in this country there are numerous
00:03:11.600 muslim families who raise a dozen kids with one father and one mother one father one mother they
00:03:18.080 got the help from the community well bingo yeah where's where is the your local community i wish
00:03:24.240 we had it okay and good we agree on something those women are often able to go down in lifestyle for a 1.00
00:03:30.400 family where um women that are able to survive on one income are able to go down on lifestyle for a 1.00
00:03:37.680 family like a lot of women just they want to buy clothes all the time they want to go get their nails 1.00
00:03:42.240 done their hair done and then they're like oh oh i can't afford i can't we can't live off of one income
00:03:49.440 well if you're spending 500 bucks a month on your your maintenance to maintain you of course
00:03:55.760 of course you're not going to be able to afford kids do you know what the national average income
00:03:59.760 is in the uk um 34 000 pounds 36 at the moment 36 yeah and do you know how much it is to raise a kid
00:04:06.480 on average um no it's 11 000 a year yeah but that's assuming you're doing it on your own if you just
00:04:13.520 talked about muslim families yeah yeah it is assuming we're doing it on our own division of
00:04:20.000 labor yeah and the other thing they don't talk about with those stats is they often amp them up
00:04:25.680 i i talked to a woman in florida that's the thing that they sell women that oh you can't you can't 1.00
00:04:29.760 raise kids on like this amount of money but i talked to this lady in florida and she really
00:04:34.080 changed my perspective on it she raised 10 kids on ten thousand dollars a year yeah yeah i think that's 0.92
00:04:38.560 but she just i feel like everything is by choice she learned everything herself she learned how to
00:04:42.880 sew she learned how to cook like cook everything from scratch she grows her own food like there's 1.00
00:04:47.120 nothing stopping i feel like there's a spectrum to there's a spectrum to like every example we've
00:04:51.600 given here work you don't have to be like motivation can i just say something i think that there's like
00:04:58.080 a whole spectrum that i'm seeing in this conversation is from one end to the other you don't have to be
00:05:03.200 extremely at one end where like you have to sew each one of yours or like sellotape your kids you
00:05:09.600 can't you don't have to you don't that's one you don't have and and then the other end sorry the
00:05:15.040 other end is where you literally are spending so much on yourself on maintenance and you can't take
00:05:19.040 care of your kids you're sacrificing your own lifestyle for your kids i mean i feel like if you
00:05:23.520 study yourself you study your lifestyle and how many kids that you have and how often you're spreading
00:05:27.680 your legs you should know how to put yourself on a spectrum it's that easy and we can't blame we can
00:05:32.160 sit here and say oh um um when it comes to like money or economy we can say okay the government
00:05:37.840 and the community but really and truly the community did you didn't they didn't sign a
00:05:41.600 contract to help you look after your kids that's how personally you feel i'm not no no you can all
00:05:45.840 you could if you want children and you feel like you can't raise them on the salary that you're on
00:05:50.000 then get a a better job for a bigger salary than have the child but i just hate hearing how they always
00:05:56.640 make women i have a child so i hate people just stereotyping me thinking oh because
00:06:02.000 i have a child and at some point i was single that i was struggling i was never struggling
00:06:06.160 because i knew at that point in my life i had the right job i could get myself a car house everything
00:06:12.320 so i was able to maintain it don't just have children and be unsure of what the future holds
00:06:17.520 and then if the future doesn't go in your way with talk where we're holding up to like the government
00:06:22.480 the community that this that's absolutely bullshit to me or that you have to completely rid of any
00:06:27.520 kind of lifestyle just yeah my nails are done like my lashes are done and i still have a child and he's
00:06:33.440 he's and this that's what makes me happy that's why i said that because at some point i couldn't do
00:06:38.240 them things at some point i knew that my child came first i wanted to be like um a 21 year old female
00:06:45.200 in london in the uk traveling here and there all my friends used to ask me like let's go here let's go
00:06:50.480 there i had the money to book the flight when they wanted to i had the but i kind of stayed away from
00:06:54.800 them type of friendships not like i cut them off i told them i'm not in the right situation or them
00:06:59.520 friends they'll call me let's go out this weekend some some female some female friends that i know 0.98
00:07:04.640 with children if you call them and say let's go out this weekend they'll be looking for a babysitter
00:07:08.960 i don't want a situation that puts me in a situation in um in a state of mind where i have to now
00:07:15.120 maneuver my my son's lifestyle or his his ability to just be comfortable in his own home just because
00:07:21.120 i want to go out so we choose the lifestyle really if i chose to have that child and choose to and
00:07:28.240 that's a more traditional mindset because it's the kid before you but the modern mentality is me me me
00:07:33.920 me i'm going to put my happiness before my family i'm going to buy my happiness before my kid it's all
00:07:38.400 about me it's a shame they won't say it they won't say it but they that's what i said that's the
00:07:45.680 example that i just gave i was a 21 year old um young woman single with a child and just starting
00:07:51.760 university and with no family support or anything and i wanted to have the nicest hair i wanted to
00:07:57.520 have the nicest shoes all the designers i wanted it but i said you know what i put in in in my mind i
00:08:03.040 can use this money that i have to buy this and make myself happy but you're not in the right
00:08:08.480 financial means to do that so that's going to affect you you don't know what's going to
00:08:12.480 happen tomorrow in an emergency if something happens if i'm not able to care for my son i'm
00:08:17.200 going to look stupid because i failed as a mother did you see where i'm coming from so what do you 0.81
00:08:21.840 think can women have it all career me yeah i very much agree um i mean canner can't i think they can 1.00
00:08:29.680 but it's it's all about prioritizing what for the what is important for you for that moment
00:08:35.280 so i'm about to be 27 i've spent the last x number of years you know educating myself studying
00:08:41.920 spending the time for me to live the life that i would like but i also want a family at the end of
00:08:46.240 the day so i know that i i like the fact that you asked the question like can we have it all
00:08:51.920 at once because i think if you'd ask us a question can you have it all just at any point yeah i agree
00:08:58.400 with that i think i can be able to live my life in my 20s and then at the point where i feel like
00:09:02.480 i can settle down and have a family i'm now putting all of my time and my effort into that
00:09:07.760 but can i do that at the same time no that's very unrealistic very delusional and very irresponsible
00:09:13.680 because i'm not now going to have a job if i personally want to work have a corporate job i had
00:09:19.200 a corporate job work a corporate job and also have a family i cannot give my 100 to both yeah do you
00:09:24.880 think that spending your 20s um doing that it prepares you to be a wife i think well if the
00:09:32.480 idea if you want to be a wife then i feel like you should be pairing yourself anyway i don't understand
00:09:37.760 what is that in your 20s is that in your like i'm just saying typically i don't i don't think men
00:09:41.840 typically want women that have spent their 20s focusing on themselves and then say at 30 oh i'm ready
00:09:47.600 well i think that's a problem because you should be with somebody that is career driven and has
00:09:51.440 something outside of the home otherwise why should they be that why should they be why should they
00:09:57.520 ask you i'm just i'm just i'm just asking yeah i'm asking the question is as a man i'm obviously not a
00:10:01.920 man what is it that meant value in a women clearly it's very different but my idea my thought process 0.98
00:10:08.480 is i want to be able to have traveled be open-minded because if you're traditional men i'm assuming you
00:10:14.240 want to have a family you want to have kids don't you want to be with a woman that is worldly educated 1.00
00:10:19.600 well-traveled can bring something to the table rather than somebody that has absolutely no idea
00:10:25.440 about anything in life and really can't contribute anything outside of just being a woman um well
00:10:30.320 oh do you want to go first sorry yeah no that's a simple answer isn't it yeah no no we don't want
00:10:35.120 that at all okay on one there's on one key point there um the idea of being well traveled is a giant
00:10:41.440 red flag for most for most men um because typically when a woman if you if i look at a woman's instagram 0.57
00:10:48.400 page and i see pictures of her on a private jet on a yacht in multiple different fancy locations
00:10:53.600 she's in mykonos here she's in paris she's in dubai she's in new york my immediate assumption is this
00:10:59.040 woman is a hoe as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily 1.00
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