JustPearlyThings - Achraf Hakimi's EX Wife Exposes Modern Women in Real Time

00:00:00.000 Wasn't he significantly younger than her as well even better? Yeah

00:00:03.660 I also read that she now on paper is more wealthy than him

00:00:07.680 So he is entitled to 50% of hers in the divorce

00:00:16.520 Because she's gone because he's got no money on paper

00:00:19.280 She's wealthier than he is so he's actually entitled to like some of her money. That's what I read today

00:00:25.860 Can I get back to that point now?

00:00:27.860 Let me land a little bit because it's not like it's not that she's more 0.76

00:00:30.960 Appealing because she the kids are with the father. It's necessarily my resources are less

00:00:37.080 Wasted I want to say because okay, say for example, I get connected to the kids

00:00:42.700 She she could leave and take her kids because they're not my kids 1.00

00:00:45.120 But i've invested my time my money into the kids that we're looking after if the kids are not dead

00:00:50.760 And I don't need to invest no time into them. I'm not spending no money on them

00:00:53.560 So like I don't see how i'm losing by being with her. Do you understand what i'm trying to say?

00:00:57.860 I'm not saying she's more valuable. I'm just saying it's less money. I'm coming out of my pocket. Yeah

00:01:04.960 Do you have anything to be sure?

00:01:06.960 Um, what do you what do you what do you think? What do you think of the situation?

00:01:11.080 Uh smart, but obviously it depends on your relationship with your mom. Do you know what I mean?

00:01:15.640 Otherwise more footballers would do it

00:01:17.640 Do you know what I find really so it could be great like controlling if your money's you have to ask to do things

00:01:22.960 You know what I mean? The relationship's gotta be on a certain level

00:01:26.300 Something is so sus about that chick 1.00

00:01:29.600 Going to his house

00:01:31.600 And then um

00:01:34.000 I don't think so necessarily because I don't think it's like outlandish to

00:01:39.200 For a footballer to have an affair

00:01:41.780 For the fact that the chick is um 0.70

00:01:44.240 Claiming grape

00:01:44.980 Yeah, that happens all the time to footballers isn't it? It's like so I feel I generally feel bad for the guy

00:01:50.820 Yeah

00:01:51.620 Well, and the problem is in in family court. You don't need evidence to accuse a guy of that

00:01:56.900 So so yeah, it's based on a balance balance of probabilities. Not it's not it's based on a balance of probabilities. It's not based on evidence

00:02:05.220 So essentially like girls can accuse men of assault in family court and there's no consequence for it

00:02:10.660 Yeah, and and and they can lose the kids like based on this and they're they don't even get a judge a jury a trial

00:02:15.940 Yeah, that's so messed up

00:02:18.580 Um, do you guys believe in divorce if so for what reasons?

00:02:24.260 I love how you're just looking at me

00:02:26.340 I know i'm ready

00:02:28.420 I mean, I

00:02:30.100 Do believe in divorce like I don't necessarily believe that divorce is an inherently bad thing

00:02:36.020 And I do think it's for the the greater good sometimes. Okay. What how like in what instances? Yeah

00:02:43.620 I mean if you're not

00:02:45.780 I mean

00:02:47.220 If you're not happy

00:02:49.460 You're not being respected. I just feel like I'm not happy. I was waiting for the happy don't you think don't you think happiness comes and goes

00:02:56.180 Hmm

00:02:58.420 To an extent of course happiness comes and goes but if you're in a relationship and that relationship is causing you unhappiness for

00:03:05.300 The majority of time that you've been in it then do you think happiness isn't happiness a choice?

00:03:12.100 Yeah, that's why that's why you can choose to be in the relationship or not if the relationship's not making you happy

00:03:17.540 You choose but do you go to a relationship to make you happy or shouldn't or should you look for happiness within?

00:03:22.660 I mean, you can do both simultaneously. I don't think they're

00:03:26.820 They're completely separate. I believe you can be happy in yourself and at the same time not happy in the relationship that you're in

00:03:33.060 So should the marriage vow switch to for richer for poorer until i'm happy

00:03:41.700 And sickness and in health and if i'm not happy

00:03:45.220 Not necessarily but I just I don't understand why you guys truly believe that you should stay in a relationship that's causing you unhappiness

00:03:52.660 Because i'll tell you why because i think once you have kids it's not about you anymore

00:03:56.260 And once you start a family unit it's not about you

00:03:58.180 You know, i talked to a guy down the street. He runs um a homeless shelter

00:04:01.940 He's been in a homeless shelter for 40 years working with the people and i asked him what's the number one cause of of um

00:04:08.180 Of homelessness like why why does this happen he tells me single mother homes

00:04:12.900 So a lot of times like women make choices for themselves and for their happiness 1.00

00:04:17.140 But there's effects in society that happen because of the choice they made where it's like yeah, okay

00:04:22.900 You you you might be happy

00:04:24.260 But how is your child going to feel when he gets to see his dad six days a month?

00:04:28.180 Yeah, but how does the child feel when you're when they're stuck in a home with two parents that are arguing non-stop constantly all day?

00:04:34.980 I don't think necessarily that staying in a relationship

00:04:38.100 Just to make the kids happy is the best decision for the kids

00:04:41.540 Wouldn't wouldn't a better solution be figure out how to get along with your husband?

00:04:45.940 You can do that in separate houses as long as you co-parent perfectly. I think it could I know it can work because that's exactly what I do

00:04:52.020 But wouldn't it be better to do it in the same 100% if it could have worked then the ideal would be

00:04:59.700 What couldn't work explain to me? So what what couldn't work with your you said you did that?

00:05:03.620 So what what couldn't work serial cheating?

00:05:05.700 I'm not gonna put up with serial cheating. So for me, it wasn't the dynamic

00:05:11.540 Um, yes, and you were a hundred percent you never cheated ever 100%

00:05:18.500 And I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him and so before the relationship you never caught him cheating you had no inkling

00:05:25.460 We yeah, what do you mean before I'm sorry before the child sorry. Oh, yeah

00:05:29.060 100% and when I fell pregnant with my son, it wasn't like we didn't plan to have um and

00:05:35.780 um, We were engaged so in my naive young mind

00:05:41.380 Oh, so you had the kid before you got married. Oh, yeah, I got engaged then I had my son

00:05:46.580 Um in my mind naively I thought

00:05:49.780 The fact that he had proposed and we were having a baby that was him

00:05:53.780 So there was like a change or a shift somehow obviously it was incorrect. How did you find out about him cheating?

00:06:00.500 um

00:06:02.500 It was a relationship that happened so I don't want to go into details because obviously it's his business as well as mine

00:06:10.020 Um, but she was crying down the phone to me. So, oh, she called you. Yeah, how did you know she was telling the truth?

00:06:17.140 Um, well, he didn't deny it. He was stood in front of me

00:06:22.660 He didn't deny it and so yeah, she was upset and I felt sorry for her because she didn't know that we were still together and so

00:06:31.700 Um, but I don't we were both really young like when I look back he we were I was 19

00:06:37.860 He was 21 when we met we were both in the military

00:06:40.980 So it wasn't like we were around each other all the time

00:06:43.060 So the dynamic was very different than I guess people that are living in the same house every day

00:06:47.940 And are you said you're single now, right? Do you think you're in a better situation now?

00:06:53.060 For my son, us two together. No, I mean like personally. Yeah, yeah, yeah 100%

00:06:57.140 Well, what is what does life look like after 55 if you're by yourself?

00:07:01.860 I'm not gonna be by myself by the time i'm 55

00:07:04.980 I don't know because i'm not there. I don't know but no, but that's what i'm saying

00:07:08.740 A lot of times like we think we can like we do better like what if what if you don't well if I that would that's

00:07:14.500 Would that decision still be the right one in hindsight?

00:07:17.940 Um, yeah

00:07:19.380 You'd rather be by yourself?

00:07:20.660 Uh, well, there's lots of things out there that I can do to be of service to there's many places and

00:07:26.980 Um spaces that I can serve

00:07:29.780 Without it being oh, I feel like i've given up my life fully because i've got an amazing son

00:07:34.980 We co-parent amazingly and so

00:07:38.100 Like it was a choice that I made so I have to just hold that and hold the L

00:07:42.900 It does but but from what you're saying it's not an L

00:07:45.620 Well, no it I mean in hindsight maybe when I get to 55

00:07:48.820 But i'm not there at the moment in this present time

00:07:51.780 I don't feel like it's an L but if I get to 55 and i'm like, oh damn it i'm here with my

00:07:57.940 Cat or my elephant maybe i'll have an elephant maybe i live in thailand

00:08:02.260 Do you do you think you'd have enough money to save for like retirement at that age?

00:08:06.820 Okay, you'll be okay. Yeah, because I I think you need like what do they say 1.5 million to serve to retire?

00:08:12.820 I don't think i'll retire at 55. I'm there 65 even

00:08:15.940 I don't even think it's 60. My gran was working right up until she had her own little shop

00:08:19.460 Yeah, but you don't know if you get sick you don't know if something will happen insurance for all of that

00:08:24.180 Okay, okay

00:08:24.900 Have you had a question truly fully insured you mentioned about the ages though

00:08:28.020 Do you think this is part of the problem because like the way you're describing it?

00:08:31.060 You weren't like he was 21 you were 19 when you guys got married because I think I think we weren't married

00:08:35.460 But when we got to what you got to oh, you weren't married. No, no, no, we got engaged. No, I didn't get

00:08:40.260 Oh, okay, that affects it then because like I think a point pearl often makes is that if you look at the marriage vows

00:08:46.660 What are the marriage vows, you know for rich?

00:08:48.500 You know, I wouldn't have got divorced if I had got married 0.81

00:08:52.180 Yeah, there would have been no divorce. We would have just been stuck with each other

00:08:55.780 I guess I guess it was easier because we hadn't got married yet

00:08:59.300 But um, I think because when my when I had my son, I had only just had him when I found out and I was like

00:09:06.980 I just was like, I'm not doing this anymore

00:09:08.740 I'm not gonna have this some woman calling me again next year crying down the phone and it was just too much of that 1.00

00:09:15.380 I was like, I'm done

00:09:16.340 Is that part of the problem though because people get married

00:09:19.220 Kind of well, actually, they don't even get married that young anymore

00:09:22.100 That's the thing

00:09:23.220 And even if they did also you could argue, but they still sign up for those for those vows

00:09:27.460 Is he is he still a cheater to this day?

00:09:30.660 It's not my business to

00:09:32.260 Do you know what?

00:09:33.140 It's not your problem at all

00:09:35.380 You know you're my goal, right?

00:09:36.420 Well, it's mad to me because it's like

00:09:39.540 How quickly girls are prepared to have a child without having marriage and are willing to leave a relationship with a child 0.99

00:09:47.780 But you would stay with a relationship if you're married

00:09:49.860 I was already a single mom, so I didn't fight

00:09:52.980 I was already a professional at that

00:09:56.420 So it wasn't a scary prospect for me because I was already a single mother from the age of 17

00:10:01.460 So I think the idea of

00:10:04.020 Wait, what?

00:10:04.580 Like so the one the relationship you're in he's not the baby father

00:10:08.900 He's not the father of my child

00:10:10.340 So I've got a 19 year old adult daughter

00:10:13.220 And then I've got a 10 year old son

00:10:15.460 And he's not the father because I don't use that term

00:10:19.700 He's not the father of my daughter, no

00:10:21.860 He's the father of my son

00:10:23.060 Okay, okay, okay

00:10:24.180 I was so confused

00:10:25.460 Well, it's not really

00:10:26.180 It's quite simple

00:10:27.140 It's like one child, another child, two fathers 0.98

00:10:30.180 Yeah

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00:10:34.260 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform

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JustPearlyThings - April 17, 2023

Achraf Hakimi's EX Wife Exposes Modern Women in Real Time

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