JustPearlyThings - March 18, 2023


Advice For COUPLES

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Kevin Niagara Pearl Doug
Pearl DEBUNKS the ＂PATRIACHY＂ fallacy Married man drops Red Pill truths

Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

188.56

Word count

2,150

Sentence count

222

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how important it is to have a wife who is on the same page as you and your husband in order to be a good father and a good husband. We also talk about the importance of a good wife resume and what women should look for in a potential husband.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 So this is what women should have on their wife resume. 1.00
00:00:03.440 Meal prep or cooking experience.
00:00:05.960 Babysitting or love for children.
00:00:09.660 Ability to manage money or stick to a budget.
00:00:12.940 Family relationships.
00:00:14.200 So what kind of family do you guys want?
00:00:16.480 And are you on the same page?
00:00:17.660 Who is your family?
00:00:18.420 Were your parents married?
00:00:19.380 Do you have an example?
00:00:21.020 Small or big nuclear family.
00:00:24.040 Do you think when looking for,
00:00:27.160 I shouldn't say looking,
00:00:28.280 when, you know, vetting suitors.
00:00:31.320 Do you think it's good to look?
00:00:35.280 Because I always try if I can to look.
00:00:37.600 Do I think it's good to finish the sentence?
00:00:39.840 Oh, sorry.
00:00:40.680 Do you think it's good to look at their family structure
00:00:43.220 to see if like they had a two parent home
00:00:45.560 and if they, or if they'd had marriage experience?
00:00:48.400 Or long term relationship experience?
00:00:50.420 Absolutely.
00:00:50.940 This is a wife resume, 0.99
00:00:52.560 but I think wives should not only be ready
00:00:55.080 to discuss this for themselves,
00:00:56.700 but these are the questions that we have to ask.
00:00:58.940 I mean, I love love.
00:01:00.080 And I know sometimes we get in that feeling
00:01:01.880 and it's just like everything they do is wonderful.
00:01:03.980 But if their mom is a battle ax, 1.00
00:01:06.420 you need to know that you're signing up for that.
00:01:08.240 And is he going to protect you?
00:01:09.740 Or is he going to leave you exposed?
00:01:11.740 It's so much.
00:01:13.980 I've never thought about that.
00:01:16.120 That's crazy.
00:01:17.520 I've thought about the two parent home,
00:01:19.980 but I've never thought about how does their,
00:01:22.660 because moms with sons can over time be overbearing. 1.00
00:01:27.480 Yeah.
00:01:28.420 And wow, I've never thought of that.
00:01:30.800 I've had that experience.
00:01:31.860 I mean, being the daughter-in-law,
00:01:33.700 you know, I want to be, you know,
00:01:36.400 accepted into the family.
00:01:37.580 And it's hard if that doesn't happen.
00:01:39.740 And especially if it's nothing that you did,
00:01:41.860 that's just how she is.
00:01:43.240 You know, that can be devastating.
00:01:44.760 So you need to know,
00:01:45.860 how is your husband going to handle that?
00:01:47.660 You know, I know we always talk about,
00:01:49.440 you know, mama's boys or whatever,
00:01:50.620 but we are assuming,
00:01:52.760 or I am assuming that you're dealing
00:01:54.320 with the caliber of man
00:01:55.500 that is ready to be a husband.
00:01:56.900 So you need to know
00:01:57.600 what you're getting yourself into.
00:01:59.040 We have to choose wisely and vet properly.
00:02:01.660 And just because we feel good with someone,
00:02:03.940 that doesn't mean he's going to be a great husband.
00:02:06.580 But yeah, that's important to know.
00:02:09.620 You're going to spend holidays together.
00:02:11.560 You're going to do like family traditions,
00:02:13.820 you know, weddings and births and funerals.
00:02:15.860 Like you need to know
00:02:16.660 when these two groups come together,
00:02:18.720 what is that experience going to be like?
00:02:21.140 And I have one more
00:02:22.040 that I can already hear my mom saying,
00:02:23.900 I didn't talk about faith.
00:02:26.820 Yeah.
00:02:27.720 Yeah.
00:02:28.880 Thanks, mom.
00:02:29.600 But yeah, it's important.
00:02:31.700 And it's not about, you know,
00:02:33.700 I'm a believer and I do,
00:02:36.940 I am a Christian and that's important to me,
00:02:39.700 but it has to be something
00:02:41.480 that you all are on the same page about.
00:02:45.080 You know, I go to church every Sunday.
00:02:46.360 If he doesn't, am I okay with that?
00:02:48.320 If it's just like, you know what,
00:02:49.320 this is the way that I worship.
00:02:50.540 You don't have to go.
00:02:51.600 That's fine.
00:02:52.500 But if it's, you know, the other way around,
00:02:54.520 if he's active in the church
00:02:55.980 and you just want to sit at home,
00:02:57.860 you know, that could cause an issue.
00:02:58.960 So whatever it is,
00:03:00.840 that's something you need to be ready to talk about.
00:03:03.260 That's, I was just thinking about this the other day
00:03:06.200 because I grew up Catholic
00:03:07.600 and then I went to the Christian church for a couple years
00:03:10.720 and then I moved to England
00:03:11.960 and I got really overwhelmed
00:03:13.520 and I just kind of stopped going the last,
00:03:15.780 I don't know, year or two, maybe two years.
00:03:18.180 And I was trying to think like,
00:03:19.540 what do I want to do now?
00:03:20.860 You know, cause now I have,
00:03:22.400 you know, stuff has been outsourced,
00:03:23.800 like other people are doing shows.
00:03:24.960 I have a bit more time than I did like last year
00:03:27.300 and it's, it's a good question.
00:03:32.520 Like what would I want my kids to be raised as?
00:03:35.360 Absolutely.
00:03:36.080 And it wasn't that important to me when I was younger.
00:03:38.840 I was kind of, oh, Catholic, Christian,
00:03:40.980 like as long as there's something, it's okay.
00:03:43.560 But there's something in me,
00:03:45.080 I think that would be sad
00:03:46.180 if my kids didn't go to Catholic school.
00:03:47.980 I was thinking about this the other day.
00:03:49.560 And that's important.
00:03:50.740 And so that's something that you'd have to talk about.
00:03:52.640 I grew up with youth group
00:03:54.300 and vacation Bible school
00:03:55.680 and singing in the choir.
00:03:56.700 We talked about music yesterday.
00:03:58.200 I love like the praise and worship.
00:04:00.400 Like there's always music in my head and in my home.
00:04:02.780 Like, am I going to be okay with someone
00:04:04.700 who's like, shut that off, you know, stop it.
00:04:07.320 So it's something that you have to talk about
00:04:09.140 because believe me,
00:04:10.480 when the kids come
00:04:11.680 and you really know
00:04:13.160 like who you have hitched your wagon to.
00:04:15.900 Fitness, are you in shape?
00:04:20.100 What is your fitness routine?
00:04:21.880 How do you handle constructive criticism or feedback?
00:04:25.980 Sex drives, communication, social media.
00:04:30.920 Can you go over the list
00:04:32.240 that you made up the other day
00:04:33.700 about women and high value men?
00:04:36.060 What list did I make the other day?
00:04:38.740 Let me...
00:04:42.500 But, oh, friend groups.
00:04:44.320 I'm going to finish this.
00:04:44.980 I'm trying to finish this thought.
00:04:46.280 Yeah, cuckoo.
00:04:47.280 Friend group.
00:04:48.960 Who's going to be in your circle
00:04:50.300 and share that in your spouse, girls trips? 0.92
00:04:54.300 How much do you drink?
00:04:55.340 Do you smoke, et cetera?
00:04:56.920 What is the relationship with the co-parent?
00:05:01.600 Okay, so go...
00:05:03.500 That looks pretty thorough.
00:05:04.640 That's a lot.
00:05:05.260 Oh, I just...
00:05:06.000 I have so many notes.
00:05:08.180 Are these the coffee thoughts?
00:05:09.720 Sometimes.
00:05:10.700 This is...
00:05:11.480 I think this is it.
00:05:12.620 What men...
00:05:13.740 Doug, do you mean this one?
00:05:16.440 So I wrote this list about...
00:05:18.400 So I grew up in, I would say, upper middle class.
00:05:21.000 Yeah.
00:05:21.100 And we know a decent amount of, I would say,
00:05:23.200 like top 10% men.
00:05:24.700 That's pretty common.
00:05:25.880 Mm-hmm.
00:05:26.500 And I just wrote a list about, like,
00:05:28.200 what those men look for.
00:05:29.820 Mm-hmm.
00:05:30.040 Where I'm from.
00:05:30.980 I know this is different.
00:05:31.880 A lot of people would argue with me
00:05:33.260 and say that...
00:05:34.280 But this is just, you know,
00:05:36.180 white, suburban community.
00:05:37.760 This is what...
00:05:38.740 Yeah, and I would argue...
00:05:40.000 We'll go through this list.
00:05:40.940 I would argue in any community,
00:05:42.500 if you have a 1% kind of man,
00:05:44.440 a lot of this stuff is going to hit.
00:05:45.760 Mm-hmm.
00:05:46.480 So I put...
00:05:48.400 Just because it's kind of small,
00:05:49.680 I'll just sometimes put it like this.
00:05:51.520 Absolutely.
00:05:51.900 Um, no tattoos.
00:05:53.980 Yep.
00:05:54.200 My mom...
00:05:55.080 And honestly, this good...
00:05:56.120 My mom told me not to date guys with tattoos either.
00:05:58.360 Really?
00:05:59.140 Um, I think men can get away with it more.
00:06:01.380 Mm-hmm.
00:06:01.880 Um, but for the women, um, hobbies every weekend 1.00
00:06:07.180 cannot be going to the bar and looking like a hoe. 1.00
00:06:10.220 Well, that's pretty clear.
00:06:13.120 Yeah, I agree.
00:06:14.260 That's in line with what we talked about.
00:06:16.040 You know, what are your friend group
00:06:17.740 and what do you like to...
00:06:18.900 How do you turn up?
00:06:19.860 No heavy makeup.
00:06:21.440 Eyelash extensions.
00:06:23.000 No...
00:06:23.320 My brothers hate super heavy makeup.
00:06:25.560 Absolutely.
00:06:25.820 They won't.
00:06:26.580 No heavy eyeliner.
00:06:28.400 No shopping addiction.
00:06:29.600 Like, the way that my brothers,
00:06:31.520 even if they make a lot of money,
00:06:32.680 they still look at you as like an expense.
00:06:34.580 And if stuff goes south,
00:06:36.140 then maybe you don't have a lot of money
00:06:37.500 or they're still going to have to pay.
00:06:39.740 Absolutely.
00:06:40.140 Absolutely.
00:06:40.480 Men look at everything as an expense. 0.98
00:06:43.420 Not just the woman.
00:06:44.800 The car, the vacation, the house,
00:06:46.720 the private school for the kids.
00:06:48.020 Everything is a line item.
00:06:49.400 That's just how they think.
00:06:50.460 So keeping that in mind,
00:06:52.040 not only is it costly,
00:06:54.640 but also when you have all that stuff on
00:06:56.960 and you look like a runway,
00:07:00.040 a Broadway actor,
00:07:01.960 who is complimenting you?
00:07:03.720 Your girls?
00:07:05.300 Or the man that you want?
00:07:06.560 It's often the men they don't want.
00:07:10.240 Because like that look,
00:07:11.880 I have a friend that like dresses like that,
00:07:15.620 you know,
00:07:16.700 and it's just like,
00:07:19.220 yeah, like men approach you,
00:07:21.040 but it's not the type of men you want to be approached by.
00:07:23.360 Right.
00:07:23.640 What are they approaching you for?
00:07:24.840 Yeah, you know.
00:07:29.160 So I put no piercings except ears.
00:07:31.940 Exactly.
00:07:32.760 So like belly button rings,
00:07:34.080 no,
00:07:34.760 like the nose rings,
00:07:36.000 no.
00:07:36.780 No.
00:07:37.300 And even the ears,
00:07:38.700 like none of this up here,
00:07:40.180 it has to be,
00:07:40.840 you can do the double
00:07:41.860 or the even the triple,
00:07:43.820 but you can't really further than that know.
00:07:47.360 You have to get ready in 30 minutes or less
00:07:50.440 because otherwise it's like,
00:07:52.480 if we want to go somewhere and it's quick,
00:07:54.900 like you,
00:07:55.180 you,
00:07:55.380 you can't have this long extensive routine.
00:07:58.320 Exactly.
00:07:58.820 And that ties back to what we said about all of that elaborate makeup.
00:08:02.760 And it ties back to having your capsule wardrobe
00:08:07.380 or having your clothes that,
00:08:09.340 okay,
00:08:09.540 this is my,
00:08:10.080 I wear what I describe as being ready from like the carpool to the kitchen.
00:08:15.600 And then,
00:08:16.420 you know,
00:08:16.700 also because I work remote and I'm in zoom meetings a lot,
00:08:19.320 I always make sure that I'm presentable.
00:08:21.400 I know sometimes people are like,
00:08:22.580 Oh,
00:08:22.680 I'm just running to the store,
00:08:23.960 but you never know who you run into.
00:08:25.900 And a lot of things,
00:08:27.320 a lot of times women don't think about men are always watching and they see you 0.89
00:08:30.860 from across the way and they may decide to approach or not based on what they saw.
00:08:35.460 You're,
00:08:35.980 you're making me want to dress better.
00:08:38.020 You're making me.
00:08:38.720 But you know you do a really good job.
00:08:40.400 I've seen you with,
00:08:41.840 and not a lot,
00:08:42.540 but I've seen you with like more of a blouse on instead of Niagara fall.
00:08:47.220 I don't even know Pearl.
00:08:48.860 It's like,
00:08:49.480 okay,
00:08:50.740 this thing.
00:08:53.740 I've seen you wear a blouse is.
00:08:55.480 I've seen you kind of curl your hair.
00:08:56.720 I do it for the show.
00:08:58.140 Like to me,
00:08:58.800 that's the,
00:08:59.300 you should do it for your man,
00:09:00.620 the show.
00:09:01.560 I know.
00:09:02.080 I bet like,
00:09:02.740 like,
00:09:02.940 okay,
00:09:03.280 I always think of this as like a behind the scenes versus that for the,
00:09:07.100 with a million subscribers.
00:09:08.240 I know.
00:09:09.120 I know.
00:09:09.500 This is behind.
00:09:10.340 You're right.
00:09:10.780 You're right.
00:09:11.460 You're right.
00:09:12.180 I'm going to,
00:09:12.720 I'm going to improve.
00:09:13.920 Okay.
00:09:14.380 Add it to the list.
00:09:15.340 One thing at a time.
00:09:16.160 Other thing,
00:09:18.760 no super long fingernails. 0.69
00:09:20.380 You can get the fake ones,
00:09:22.060 but they have to be like short.
00:09:24.120 Like they can't,
00:09:25.080 I've seen like women, 1.00
00:09:26.500 like their wives might get them up to here, 1.00
00:09:28.980 but like it's,
00:09:29.620 it's,
00:09:30.220 it's very usually French.
00:09:31.900 Nothing too crazy.
00:09:33.440 Yes.
00:09:33.860 And I mean,
00:09:34.300 that is one of the things that we,
00:09:35.840 you know,
00:09:36.120 learned about in etiquette and elegance classes.
00:09:37.940 There's just some things that look more refined.
00:09:41.180 And there are some things that look a little trashy.
00:09:44.020 I'm not judging anybody,
00:09:45.140 but there's a reason they call a certain manicure and active length,
00:09:49.040 because when a man is choosing you,
00:09:52.420 he's choosing you for how you are going to be helpful to him.
00:09:56.900 I know we make an emotional decision,
00:09:59.000 but a man can have an emotional experience and then move on.
00:10:02.580 If you are not useful to him,
00:10:04.700 Kevin talked about that.
00:10:05.640 Wow.
00:10:06.160 That's so interesting.
00:10:07.760 Kevin talked about that a lot.
00:10:09.300 So there's so many facets of that,
00:10:11.800 but when it comes to the nails,
00:10:13.540 not only is it an expense and then it's going to take time away.
00:10:17.740 Cause you got to get them,
00:10:18.700 you know,
00:10:19.000 done.
00:10:19.600 I'm all for a beauty routine.
00:10:21.140 I love,
00:10:21.940 you know,
00:10:22.180 like spa pampered or whatever.
00:10:23.700 And my guy knows that,
00:10:24.820 but I also make sure that nothing that I'm doing to beautify myself gets in the way of being an active mom,
00:10:32.820 you know,
00:10:32.980 being able to cook or clean or wash or do,
00:10:36.440 you know,
00:10:36.740 whatever.
00:10:37.220 I just think the long fingernails,
00:10:40.220 in my opinion,
00:10:41.220 it's kind of nasty because it's not hygienic.
00:10:44.480 And then look at that.
00:10:46.140 And Kevin has been known to say,
00:10:48.140 you know,
00:10:48.640 if certain body parts are not up to par,
00:10:51.940 you know,
00:10:52.940 you can,
00:10:54.540 you know,
00:10:54.880 draw your own conclusions.
00:10:56.040 But yeah,
00:10:56.860 I just,
00:10:57.380 you know,
00:10:57.700 I don't know any man that I respect that has been like,
00:11:02.480 woo,
00:11:02.820 look at those talons.
00:11:07.780 As many of you know,
00:11:08.980 I was just banned on Tik TOK and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:11:15.880 If you want to help,
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