JustPearlyThings - March 18, 2023


Advice For COUPLES


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

188.56342

Word Count

2,150

Sentence Count

189

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary

In this episode, we talk about how important it is to have a wife who is on the same page as you and your husband in order to be a good father and a good husband. We also talk about the importance of a good wife resume and what women should look for in a potential husband.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So this is what women should have on their wife resume.
00:00:03.440 Meal prep or cooking experience.
00:00:05.960 Babysitting or love for children.
00:00:09.660 Ability to manage money or stick to a budget.
00:00:12.940 Family relationships.
00:00:14.200 So what kind of family do you guys want?
00:00:16.480 And are you on the same page?
00:00:17.660 Who is your family?
00:00:18.420 Were your parents married?
00:00:19.380 Do you have an example?
00:00:21.020 Small or big nuclear family.
00:00:24.040 Do you think when looking for,
00:00:27.160 I shouldn't say looking,
00:00:28.280 when, you know, vetting suitors.
00:00:31.320 Do you think it's good to look?
00:00:35.280 Because I always try if I can to look.
00:00:37.600 Do I think it's good to finish the sentence?
00:00:39.840 Oh, sorry.
00:00:40.680 Do you think it's good to look at their family structure
00:00:43.220 to see if like they had a two parent home
00:00:45.560 and if they, or if they'd had marriage experience?
00:00:48.400 Or long term relationship experience?
00:00:50.420 Absolutely.
00:00:50.940 This is a wife resume,
00:00:52.560 but I think wives should not only be ready
00:00:55.080 to discuss this for themselves,
00:00:56.700 but these are the questions that we have to ask.
00:00:58.940 I mean, I love love.
00:01:00.080 And I know sometimes we get in that feeling
00:01:01.880 and it's just like everything they do is wonderful.
00:01:03.980 But if their mom is a battle ax,
00:01:06.420 you need to know that you're signing up for that.
00:01:08.240 And is he going to protect you?
00:01:09.740 Or is he going to leave you exposed?
00:01:11.740 It's so much.
00:01:13.980 I've never thought about that.
00:01:16.120 That's crazy.
00:01:17.520 I've thought about the two parent home,
00:01:19.980 but I've never thought about how does their,
00:01:22.660 because moms with sons can over time be overbearing.
00:01:27.480 Yeah.
00:01:28.420 And wow, I've never thought of that.
00:01:30.800 I've had that experience.
00:01:31.860 I mean, being the daughter-in-law,
00:01:33.700 you know, I want to be, you know,
00:01:36.400 accepted into the family.
00:01:37.580 And it's hard if that doesn't happen.
00:01:39.740 And especially if it's nothing that you did,
00:01:41.860 that's just how she is.
00:01:43.240 You know, that can be devastating.
00:01:44.760 So you need to know,
00:01:45.860 how is your husband going to handle that?
00:01:47.660 You know, I know we always talk about,
00:01:49.440 you know, mama's boys or whatever,
00:01:50.620 but we are assuming,
00:01:52.760 or I am assuming that you're dealing
00:01:54.320 with the caliber of man
00:01:55.500 that is ready to be a husband.
00:01:56.900 So you need to know
00:01:57.600 what you're getting yourself into.
00:01:59.040 We have to choose wisely and vet properly.
00:02:01.660 And just because we feel good with someone,
00:02:03.940 that doesn't mean he's going to be a great husband.
00:02:06.580 But yeah, that's important to know.
00:02:09.620 You're going to spend holidays together.
00:02:11.560 You're going to do like family traditions,
00:02:13.820 you know, weddings and births and funerals.
00:02:15.860 Like you need to know
00:02:16.660 when these two groups come together,
00:02:18.720 what is that experience going to be like?
00:02:21.140 And I have one more
00:02:22.040 that I can already hear my mom saying,
00:02:23.900 I didn't talk about faith.
00:02:26.820 Yeah.
00:02:27.720 Yeah.
00:02:28.880 Thanks, mom.
00:02:29.600 But yeah, it's important.
00:02:31.700 And it's not about, you know,
00:02:33.700 I'm a believer and I do,
00:02:36.940 I am a Christian and that's important to me,
00:02:39.700 but it has to be something
00:02:41.480 that you all are on the same page about.
00:02:45.080 You know, I go to church every Sunday.
00:02:46.360 If he doesn't, am I okay with that?
00:02:48.320 If it's just like, you know what,
00:02:49.320 this is the way that I worship.
00:02:50.540 You don't have to go.
00:02:51.600 That's fine.
00:02:52.500 But if it's, you know, the other way around,
00:02:54.520 if he's active in the church
00:02:55.980 and you just want to sit at home,
00:02:57.860 you know, that could cause an issue.
00:02:58.960 So whatever it is,
00:03:00.840 that's something you need to be ready to talk about.
00:03:03.260 That's, I was just thinking about this the other day
00:03:06.200 because I grew up Catholic
00:03:07.600 and then I went to the Christian church for a couple years
00:03:10.720 and then I moved to England
00:03:11.960 and I got really overwhelmed
00:03:13.520 and I just kind of stopped going the last,
00:03:15.780 I don't know, year or two, maybe two years.
00:03:18.180 And I was trying to think like,
00:03:19.540 what do I want to do now?
00:03:20.860 You know, cause now I have,
00:03:22.400 you know, stuff has been outsourced,
00:03:23.800 like other people are doing shows.
00:03:24.960 I have a bit more time than I did like last year
00:03:27.300 and it's, it's a good question.
00:03:32.520 Like what would I want my kids to be raised as?
00:03:35.360 Absolutely.
00:03:36.080 And it wasn't that important to me when I was younger.
00:03:38.840 I was kind of, oh, Catholic, Christian,
00:03:40.980 like as long as there's something, it's okay.
00:03:43.560 But there's something in me,
00:03:45.080 I think that would be sad
00:03:46.180 if my kids didn't go to Catholic school.
00:03:47.980 I was thinking about this the other day.
00:03:49.560 And that's important.
00:03:50.740 And so that's something that you'd have to talk about.
00:03:52.640 I grew up with youth group
00:03:54.300 and vacation Bible school
00:03:55.680 and singing in the choir.
00:03:56.700 We talked about music yesterday.
00:03:58.200 I love like the praise and worship.
00:04:00.400 Like there's always music in my head and in my home.
00:04:02.780 Like, am I going to be okay with someone
00:04:04.700 who's like, shut that off, you know, stop it.
00:04:07.320 So it's something that you have to talk about
00:04:09.140 because believe me,
00:04:10.480 when the kids come
00:04:11.680 and you really know
00:04:13.160 like who you have hitched your wagon to.
00:04:15.900 Fitness, are you in shape?
00:04:20.100 What is your fitness routine?
00:04:21.880 How do you handle constructive criticism or feedback?
00:04:25.980 Sex drives, communication, social media.
00:04:30.920 Can you go over the list
00:04:32.240 that you made up the other day
00:04:33.700 about women and high value men?
00:04:36.060 What list did I make the other day?
00:04:38.740 Let me...
00:04:42.500 But, oh, friend groups.
00:04:44.320 I'm going to finish this.
00:04:44.980 I'm trying to finish this thought.
00:04:46.280 Yeah, cuckoo.
00:04:47.280 Friend group.
00:04:48.960 Who's going to be in your circle
00:04:50.300 and share that in your spouse, girls trips?
00:04:54.300 How much do you drink?
00:04:55.340 Do you smoke, et cetera?
00:04:56.920 What is the relationship with the co-parent?
00:05:01.600 Okay, so go...
00:05:03.500 That looks pretty thorough.
00:05:04.640 That's a lot.
00:05:05.260 Oh, I just...
00:05:06.000 I have so many notes.
00:05:08.180 Are these the coffee thoughts?
00:05:09.720 Sometimes.
00:05:10.700 This is...
00:05:11.480 I think this is it.
00:05:12.620 What men...
00:05:13.740 Doug, do you mean this one?
00:05:16.440 So I wrote this list about...
00:05:18.400 So I grew up in, I would say, upper middle class.
00:05:21.000 Yeah.
00:05:21.100 And we know a decent amount of, I would say,
00:05:23.200 like top 10% men.
00:05:24.700 That's pretty common.
00:05:25.880 Mm-hmm.
00:05:26.500 And I just wrote a list about, like,
00:05:28.200 what those men look for.
00:05:29.820 Mm-hmm.
00:05:30.040 Where I'm from.
00:05:30.980 I know this is different.
00:05:31.880 A lot of people would argue with me
00:05:33.260 and say that...
00:05:34.280 But this is just, you know,
00:05:36.180 white, suburban community.
00:05:37.760 This is what...
00:05:38.740 Yeah, and I would argue...
00:05:40.000 We'll go through this list.
00:05:40.940 I would argue in any community,
00:05:42.500 if you have a 1% kind of man,
00:05:44.440 a lot of this stuff is going to hit.
00:05:45.760 Mm-hmm.
00:05:46.480 So I put...
00:05:48.400 Just because it's kind of small,
00:05:49.680 I'll just sometimes put it like this.
00:05:51.520 Absolutely.
00:05:51.900 Um, no tattoos.
00:05:53.980 Yep.
00:05:54.200 My mom...
00:05:55.080 And honestly, this good...
00:05:56.120 My mom told me not to date guys with tattoos either.
00:05:58.360 Really?
00:05:59.140 Um, I think men can get away with it more.
00:06:01.380 Mm-hmm.
00:06:01.880 Um, but for the women, um, hobbies every weekend
00:06:07.180 cannot be going to the bar and looking like a hoe.
00:06:10.220 Well, that's pretty clear.
00:06:13.120 Yeah, I agree.
00:06:14.260 That's in line with what we talked about.
00:06:16.040 You know, what are your friend group
00:06:17.740 and what do you like to...
00:06:18.900 How do you turn up?
00:06:19.860 No heavy makeup.
00:06:21.440 Eyelash extensions.
00:06:23.000 No...
00:06:23.320 My brothers hate super heavy makeup.
00:06:25.560 Absolutely.
00:06:25.820 They won't.
00:06:26.580 No heavy eyeliner.
00:06:28.400 No shopping addiction.
00:06:29.600 Like, the way that my brothers,
00:06:31.520 even if they make a lot of money,
00:06:32.680 they still look at you as like an expense.
00:06:34.580 And if stuff goes south,
00:06:36.140 then maybe you don't have a lot of money
00:06:37.500 or they're still going to have to pay.
00:06:39.740 Absolutely.
00:06:40.140 Absolutely.
00:06:40.480 Men look at everything as an expense.
00:06:43.420 Not just the woman.
00:06:44.800 The car, the vacation, the house,
00:06:46.720 the private school for the kids.
00:06:48.020 Everything is a line item.
00:06:49.400 That's just how they think.
00:06:50.460 So keeping that in mind,
00:06:52.040 not only is it costly,
00:06:54.640 but also when you have all that stuff on
00:06:56.960 and you look like a runway,
00:07:00.040 a Broadway actor,
00:07:01.960 who is complimenting you?
00:07:03.720 Your girls?
00:07:05.300 Or the man that you want?
00:07:06.560 It's often the men they don't want.
00:07:10.240 Because like that look,
00:07:11.880 I have a friend that like dresses like that,
00:07:15.620 you know,
00:07:16.700 and it's just like,
00:07:19.220 yeah, like men approach you,
00:07:21.040 but it's not the type of men you want to be approached by.
00:07:23.360 Right.
00:07:23.640 What are they approaching you for?
00:07:24.840 Yeah, you know.
00:07:29.160 So I put no piercings except ears.
00:07:31.940 Exactly.
00:07:32.760 So like belly button rings,
00:07:34.080 no,
00:07:34.760 like the nose rings,
00:07:36.000 no.
00:07:36.780 No.
00:07:37.300 And even the ears,
00:07:38.700 like none of this up here,
00:07:40.180 it has to be,
00:07:40.840 you can do the double
00:07:41.860 or the even the triple,
00:07:43.820 but you can't really further than that know.
00:07:47.360 You have to get ready in 30 minutes or less
00:07:50.440 because otherwise it's like,
00:07:52.480 if we want to go somewhere and it's quick,
00:07:54.900 like you,
00:07:55.180 you,
00:07:55.380 you can't have this long extensive routine.
00:07:58.320 Exactly.
00:07:58.820 And that ties back to what we said about all of that elaborate makeup.
00:08:02.760 And it ties back to having your capsule wardrobe
00:08:07.380 or having your clothes that,
00:08:09.340 okay,
00:08:09.540 this is my,
00:08:10.080 I wear what I describe as being ready from like the carpool to the kitchen.
00:08:15.600 And then,
00:08:16.420 you know,
00:08:16.700 also because I work remote and I'm in zoom meetings a lot,
00:08:19.320 I always make sure that I'm presentable.
00:08:21.400 I know sometimes people are like,
00:08:22.580 Oh,
00:08:22.680 I'm just running to the store,
00:08:23.960 but you never know who you run into.
00:08:25.900 And a lot of things,
00:08:27.320 a lot of times women don't think about men are always watching and they see you
00:08:30.860 from across the way and they may decide to approach or not based on what they saw.
00:08:35.460 You're,
00:08:35.980 you're making me want to dress better.
00:08:38.020 You're making me.
00:08:38.720 But you know you do a really good job.
00:08:40.400 I've seen you with,
00:08:41.840 and not a lot,
00:08:42.540 but I've seen you with like more of a blouse on instead of Niagara fall.
00:08:47.220 I don't even know Pearl.
00:08:48.860 It's like,
00:08:49.480 okay,
00:08:50.740 this thing.
00:08:53.740 I've seen you wear a blouse is.
00:08:55.480 I've seen you kind of curl your hair.
00:08:56.720 I do it for the show.
00:08:58.140 Like to me,
00:08:58.800 that's the,
00:08:59.300 you should do it for your man,
00:09:00.620 the show.
00:09:01.560 I know.
00:09:02.080 I bet like,
00:09:02.740 like,
00:09:02.940 okay,
00:09:03.280 I always think of this as like a behind the scenes versus that for the,
00:09:07.100 with a million subscribers.
00:09:08.240 I know.
00:09:09.120 I know.
00:09:09.500 This is behind.
00:09:10.340 You're right.
00:09:10.780 You're right.
00:09:11.460 You're right.
00:09:12.180 I'm going to,
00:09:12.720 I'm going to improve.
00:09:13.920 Okay.
00:09:14.380 Add it to the list.
00:09:15.340 One thing at a time.
00:09:16.160 Other thing,
00:09:18.760 no super long fingernails.
00:09:20.380 You can get the fake ones,
00:09:22.060 but they have to be like short.
00:09:24.120 Like they can't,
00:09:25.080 I've seen like women,
00:09:26.500 like their wives might get them up to here,
00:09:28.980 but like it's,
00:09:29.620 it's,
00:09:30.220 it's very usually French.
00:09:31.900 Nothing too crazy.
00:09:33.440 Yes.
00:09:33.860 And I mean,
00:09:34.300 that is one of the things that we,
00:09:35.840 you know,
00:09:36.120 learned about in etiquette and elegance classes.
00:09:37.940 There's just some things that look more refined.
00:09:41.180 And there are some things that look a little trashy.
00:09:44.020 I'm not judging anybody,
00:09:45.140 but there's a reason they call a certain manicure and active length,
00:09:49.040 because when a man is choosing you,
00:09:52.420 he's choosing you for how you are going to be helpful to him.
00:09:56.900 I know we make an emotional decision,
00:09:59.000 but a man can have an emotional experience and then move on.
00:10:02.580 If you are not useful to him,
00:10:04.700 Kevin talked about that.
00:10:05.640 Wow.
00:10:06.160 That's so interesting.
00:10:07.760 Kevin talked about that a lot.
00:10:09.300 So there's so many facets of that,
00:10:11.800 but when it comes to the nails,
00:10:13.540 not only is it an expense and then it's going to take time away.
00:10:17.740 Cause you got to get them,
00:10:18.700 you know,
00:10:19.000 done.
00:10:19.600 I'm all for a beauty routine.
00:10:21.140 I love,
00:10:21.940 you know,
00:10:22.180 like spa pampered or whatever.
00:10:23.700 And my guy knows that,
00:10:24.820 but I also make sure that nothing that I'm doing to beautify myself gets in the way of being an active mom,
00:10:32.820 you know,
00:10:32.980 being able to cook or clean or wash or do,
00:10:36.440 you know,
00:10:36.740 whatever.
00:10:37.220 I just think the long fingernails,
00:10:40.220 in my opinion,
00:10:41.220 it's kind of nasty because it's not hygienic.
00:10:44.480 And then look at that.
00:10:46.140 And Kevin has been known to say,
00:10:48.140 you know,
00:10:48.640 if certain body parts are not up to par,
00:10:51.940 you know,
00:10:52.940 you can,
00:10:54.540 you know,
00:10:54.880 draw your own conclusions.
00:10:56.040 But yeah,
00:10:56.860 I just,
00:10:57.380 you know,
00:10:57.700 I don't know any man that I respect that has been like,
00:11:02.480 woo,
00:11:02.820 look at those talons.
00:11:07.780 As many of you know,
00:11:08.980 I was just banned on Tik TOK and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:11:15.880 If you want to help,
00:11:17.280 please consider sending a super thanks below.
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