JustPearlyThings - March 21, 2023


Advice Married Women NEED To HEAR


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

215.31857

Word count

1,906

Sentence count

195

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how to deal with comments from your partner that make you feel fat. Do you get offended when your partner says things like "you look amazing" or "you're a bit heavy" in the bedroom? Do you have a problem with these comments and how do you deal with them?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Yeah. So can I answer your question, though?
00:00:02.300 You know, when you said, if your man commented on your body in the bedroom,
00:00:06.000 wouldn't you be offended?
00:00:07.300 I wouldn't.
00:00:08.760 Oh, no. I mean, I wouldn't like I just do something about it.
00:00:12.760 It depends on what they say, though, and how they say it.
00:00:15.760 And I think it's also the heart behind it as well.
00:00:18.000 Well, no, yours as as well as the heart.
00:00:20.760 Oh, sorry.
00:00:22.760 As well as the heart, because I trust my husband.
00:00:25.660 So anything that he says, I know it's not like a malicious,
00:00:29.040 but also my husband is a bit of an enemy of my progress because I want to lose weight.
00:00:35.380 And he's very like, oh, well, you look amazing.
00:00:37.540 But sometimes I just feel like if your partner says, oh, yeah,
00:00:40.540 I'd love if you like turned up, it gives you that extra motivation to go turn up.
00:00:43.980 Do you know what I mean?
00:00:44.500 I think there's a there's a way of going around it.
00:00:46.580 So it's not like, oh, when you was when we was doing this and I felt this.
00:00:51.040 It's disgusting.
00:00:52.340 There's a there's ways around it.
00:00:53.800 My mamma just say you're fat. 1.00
00:00:55.080 You've got a buddy.
00:00:55.780 Do think about it.
00:00:57.500 I was just going to say I think it's all down to approach how things are said.
00:01:07.260 I agree with you.
00:01:08.260 Because if let's say you're getting busy with your guy and you're saying, oh,
00:01:11.840 you're a bit heavy today.
00:01:13.300 Excuse me.
00:01:14.340 Why are you saying it like that?
00:01:15.840 Well, handle my heaviness and get stronger then.
00:01:17.840 It's just the way I wouldn't stop.
00:01:19.600 That is not funny.
00:01:20.600 Imagine you're in the moment and all of a sudden you're a bit heavy today.
00:01:23.600 I would just say this one.
00:01:24.600 You best up your game.
00:01:25.600 Sorry, what did you say?
00:01:26.600 No, I was just saying, like, if let's say you're in the moment, you know, your mind's
00:01:30.600 in a different universe.
00:01:31.600 And then all of a sudden you hear a silly comment like, you're a bit heavy today.
00:01:35.360 I just had dinner.
00:01:37.360 I mean, is it true?
00:01:41.360 I mean, if he says it, is it true?
00:01:45.360 Like, what does it matter how he says it?
00:01:47.360 If it's true, it's true.
00:01:48.360 He's not saying you're ugly.
00:01:49.360 You know, I hate you.
00:01:50.360 Personally, in the moment, I don't think that matters if it's true.
00:01:52.360 I think it's good to date guys who like your body type if they're in the position.
00:01:57.120 Yes.
00:01:58.120 Yes.
00:01:59.120 I agree with that.
00:02:00.120 I said, I think it's important that you date guys that like your body type.
00:02:02.120 But your body type can change.
00:02:03.120 Thank God.
00:02:04.120 I didn't look like this a couple of babies ago.
00:02:08.120 I mean, you've grown together as a couple though.
00:02:11.120 Yeah.
00:02:12.120 So by what she said, like, he met me one day, he could be like, oh, but I want you to go
00:02:18.120 back and go back to that.
00:02:19.120 But you could lose weight.
00:02:20.120 You could.
00:02:21.120 He doesn't care, but I'm saying if he cared, I probably would be more motivated to lose
00:02:27.120 weight quicker.
00:02:28.120 That's what I mean.
00:02:29.120 It wouldn't just be like my internal, I want to lose weight.
00:02:31.120 But he's like, you know, can you buy me a chocolate?
00:02:34.120 Then he'll buy me like a duo.
00:02:35.120 It's not helpful.
00:02:36.120 But that's just you.
00:02:37.120 There are a lot of men who still expect their women to, even if she doesn't look exactly
00:02:42.120 like how they met before kids, they still expect their women to look somewhat the same.
00:02:46.120 So luckily your man's like, you know, we can eat chocolate together or whatever.
00:02:51.120 But there are a lot of men are like, she's just, you know, and there are a lot of women
00:02:55.120 that feel offended by it because it's like, oh, I've pushed out this baby.
00:02:59.120 But like, well, I just think sometimes men feel like they can't say things that are true 0.93
00:03:03.120 to us and like, we want them to communicate it in a feminine way. 1.00
00:03:06.120 Yeah.
00:03:07.120 And, and they're not women. 1.00
00:03:09.120 So when you say like, it's how you say it, it's very confusing to guys because they're like,
00:03:13.120 well, it's true.
00:03:15.120 I think men are required to be gentle with women because we are not like them. 1.00
00:03:23.120 So I think in the same way we should not expect men to deliver in a way that a female would, 1.00
00:03:28.120 they need to recognize that they're not speaking to a male.
00:03:31.120 So yes, I feel like men should be able to be truthful, but they should do it gently because
00:03:38.120 they're speaking to someone gently.
00:03:40.120 Yeah.
00:03:41.120 I just think that women need to grow a backbone and stop making excuses because if you're 1.00
00:03:45.120 fat, you're fat. 0.89
00:03:46.120 If you got to put on weight, you got to put on weight.
00:03:48.120 My man told me I was four pound overweight.
00:03:50.120 I lost four pound.
00:03:51.120 He's the same thing like what she said.
00:03:53.120 He goes, hang on a minute.
00:03:54.120 What's all that hanging about?
00:03:55.120 You putting a bit of weight in you?
00:03:56.120 A bit of heavy?
00:03:57.120 And I was like, yeah, you're right.
00:03:58.120 You felt like that though.
00:04:00.120 No, but what I'm trying to say is that it all depends on your relationship and how you talk
00:04:03.120 to each other because we're just quite straightforward and blunt to the point where people
00:04:07.120 are like, oh my God, did he really say that?
00:04:09.120 I'm like, yeah, it's true.
00:04:10.120 And I'll tell him, yes, look at your big head.
00:04:12.120 You know?
00:04:13.120 To your comment, it was like, because you said, but did you feel like that?
00:04:17.120 So let's say the woman disagreed and then he's like, okay, but I want you to, you know,
00:04:21.120 like get fit.
00:04:22.120 And she's like, no, I don't really feel like I need you to.
00:04:25.120 If he then stepped out, are you saying that's like wrong or like his eyes are not going to
00:04:30.120 wander?
00:04:31.120 I mean, yes, sit down and work it out.
00:04:33.120 But he has, he's like, he's telling me like, babe, please go to the gym.
00:04:36.120 If you ask something and I, and I said, no, I don't feel like it.
00:04:39.120 Your resolve can't be, then I'm just going to step out.
00:04:42.120 If like, if there's a resolve that goes beyond us, continuing this conversation until we're
00:04:47.120 both like, not satisfied, but there is some kind of middle ground here.
00:04:51.120 But what's the middle ground?
00:04:52.120 Leave me.
00:04:53.120 Leave me.
00:04:54.120 But I, again, I think that's a lot of guys feel trapped in marriages cause they don't
00:04:58.120 want their kid.
00:04:59.120 They don't want to put their kid at every statistical disadvantage they possibly could.
00:05:02.120 Yeah.
00:05:03.120 So it's like, if they step, this is just how they see it.
00:05:05.120 It's like, if they step out and you never find out because they're, you're not doing
00:05:08.120 the things that they asked them to do.
00:05:10.120 They, a lot of times guys feel like it's justified.
00:05:12.120 No, I know, I know someone that said, because he has a child, he will never leave his child's
00:05:18.120 mum. 0.67
00:05:19.120 Um, but if he's unhappy, he will go about his business behind her back, but he will never
00:05:23.120 leave her. 1.00
00:05:24.120 And I said to him, leave her.
00:05:25.120 He said, never because my son's there.
00:05:27.120 And I don't want him, not, not because he fears that she would keep him away from him.
00:05:33.120 It's because he doesn't want his son to grow up outside of mum and dad lives here.
00:05:38.120 But together they happy.
00:05:39.120 The son sees happy parents.
00:05:41.120 I don't know.
00:05:42.120 Oh, cause if they did, I think good on him.
00:05:44.120 Yeah.
00:05:45.120 Yeah.
00:05:46.120 What for cheating and staying?
00:05:48.120 Yeah.
00:05:49.120 Okay.
00:05:50.120 I think there should be some kind of mutual agreement between the two parents, if that's
00:05:55.120 the case, if they're not happy.
00:05:57.120 No, him.
00:05:58.120 He said him.
00:05:59.120 But what she don't know don't hurt her, innit?
00:06:00.120 Oh, no.
00:06:01.120 No.
00:06:02.120 No.
00:06:03.120 You don't think so?
00:06:04.120 No, because she can get infected by what she doesn't know might hurt her.
00:06:07.120 That's an extreme.
00:06:08.120 Yeah.
00:06:09.120 If he cares so much about his child, he's going to care so much about his worst vagina. 1.00
00:06:13.120 You don't know that.
00:06:14.120 Because he cares about his child.
00:06:15.120 Yeah, he's cheating.
00:06:16.120 He's staying.
00:06:17.120 That's his standard.
00:06:18.120 He's staying because of his child.
00:06:19.120 He could leave.
00:06:20.120 So cause his standards are so high, he's not going to go out and cheat and get something.
00:06:25.120 He's going to be extremely careful because he's careful anyway.
00:06:28.120 That's why he's staying there.
00:06:29.120 I don't agree.
00:06:31.120 Do you guys believe a man can love you but still cheat?
00:06:34.120 Yes.
00:06:35.120 Yeah.
00:06:36.120 I do.
00:06:37.120 Yeah.
00:06:38.120 I really do.
00:06:39.120 Long term cheating or do you like, oh, I've slept with this person and I've realised I was wrong.
00:06:44.120 I think sometimes they just fall into some stripper, you know?
00:06:48.120 Yeah.
00:06:49.120 But not long term cheating.
00:06:51.120 I have a friend and he reckons all men cheat in a certain type of way.
00:06:57.120 He said, my friend, he's married.
00:06:59.120 He calls it like a transfer window, like a window.
00:07:01.120 He said, I have my window.
00:07:02.120 This is football.
00:07:03.120 I do what I do.
00:07:04.120 And then, you know what?
00:07:05.120 I go back.
00:07:06.120 I'm a good dad.
00:07:07.120 I'm a good husband.
00:07:08.120 But that's it.
00:07:09.120 But when that window opens, it's open.
00:07:10.120 And when it's shut, it's shut.
00:07:11.120 I don't think all men cheat.
00:07:12.120 Neither do I.
00:07:13.120 I'm so sorry.
00:07:14.120 Yes.
00:07:15.120 I refuse to.
00:07:16.120 My man don't cheat.
00:07:17.120 Her man don't cheat.
00:07:18.120 I don't think all men cheat.
00:07:19.120 You can sleep with someone else and still love you.
00:07:21.120 Love you and care about you.
00:07:22.120 I've just had enough men explain this to me.
00:07:23.120 I think so.
00:07:24.120 But not like a long term relationship with a whole other family.
00:07:27.120 Yeah, exactly.
00:07:28.120 A double life.
00:07:29.120 I don't know.
00:07:30.120 I really think guys can love two women at the same time.
00:07:32.120 Yeah.
00:07:33.120 I really, like, I mean, they did it throughout all of history.
00:07:36.120 I mean, you're going to tell me that throughout all of history, when it's 17, it's one man
00:07:42.120 reproduced for every 17 women that none of them loved their wives.
00:07:45.120 Isn't it?
00:07:46.120 Come on.
00:07:47.120 There's more men than women. 0.97
00:07:49.120 So technically, like.
00:07:50.120 There's less men than women. 0.83
00:07:51.120 Yeah.
00:07:52.120 Sorry.
00:07:53.120 So they have to.
00:07:54.120 Double up.
00:07:55.120 Yeah.
00:07:56.120 Reproduce with more women. 1.00
00:07:57.120 I think historically 80% of, 80% of women have reproduced historically where only 40%
00:08:01.120 of men have.
00:08:02.120 I think sometimes.
00:08:03.120 That's like 2 to 1.
00:08:04.120 I think sometimes you find out who's who when you go to funerals and you find out who's
00:08:07.120 that.
00:08:08.120 That's uncle.
00:08:09.120 But it's true.
00:08:10.120 And that's when you find out sometime that the man had a whole family that nobody knew
00:08:13.120 about.
00:08:14.120 And I'm not saying it's right.
00:08:15.120 I'm just saying that's how the world's always been.
00:08:16.120 Like I can't.
00:08:17.120 I can't change the world.
00:08:18.120 I think it happens more with people older than me than now.
00:08:23.120 It seems to be like for the old people. 1.00
00:08:25.120 I'd say like 60 and 70.
00:08:27.120 You always know somebody and like they have somebody down the road.
00:08:30.120 They got a whole other family.
00:08:31.120 As many of you know, I was just banned on Tik Tok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:08:38.120 on this platform.
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