JustPearlyThings - November 10, 2023


Annoying Male Panelist Gets Kicked Out!

Topics
pronatalism
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Pearl Dimitri
Rude Simp FRIES Everybody’s Brain Cells She Gets FINISHED for Lying To Women That Men Loves Fat-Chicks

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

216.79

Word count

2,066

Sentence count

235

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Toxicity

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss whether or not women should have children, the reasons why women don t have kids, and why it's important to be a good mother. We also discuss the importance of owning your power as a parent and how we can make it easier for women to have children.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 I'm so happy you said that because I feel like it's so important to pinpoint
00:00:04.360 that it's bigger than just having a baby.
00:00:06.820 Like, it's bigger than just getting pregnant.
00:00:08.880 And then, like, it's about finding somebody.
00:00:11.840 Me, personally, I'm not having no kids until I'm married.
00:00:14.280 And I stand by that.
00:00:15.240 Like, it's not happening.
00:00:16.180 There's no way around it.
00:00:17.360 So if I don't find my man, and that's my husband,
00:00:20.500 and I know that, you know, this is the person that, okay, cool,
00:00:23.480 you're ready to have kids with me, you must be ready to marry me also.
00:00:26.300 Do you get it?
00:00:26.660 Because I'm not about to raise no child by myself.
00:00:28.700 It's not happening.
00:00:29.320 I don't care how stable I am.
00:00:31.660 I don't care what point in life I'm at.
00:00:33.520 So it's bigger than just having a baby.
00:00:35.220 And I feel like a lot for a lot of women as well. 1.00
00:00:37.740 Like, a lot of the reason why women don't want to have kids, 1.00
00:00:40.420 it stems from trauma.
00:00:41.620 You watch your mother grow up as a single mother.
00:00:43.980 Like, you haven't had any good representations of good marriages around you.
00:00:47.960 Like, it's bigger than just having a baby.
00:00:50.500 So I feel like, yeah, I'm very happy.
00:00:53.240 My mum says, to quote my mother, because she's just so wise.
00:00:56.260 Oh, my God, what a woman. 1.00
00:00:57.220 She goes, as long as you're a woman, you're a mother. 0.97
00:00:59.320 That's what she always tells me.
00:01:01.040 That's such a Caribbean thing, you know.
00:01:02.780 But they're right.
00:01:04.080 She says, as long as you're a woman, you're a mother.
00:01:06.720 So at the end of the day, like.
00:01:07.960 Yeah, but a good mother or a bad mother. 1.00
00:01:10.440 What do you mean?
00:01:11.120 Because bad mothers, bad mothers create bad children. 1.00
00:01:14.160 And it's evolution.
00:01:14.960 Yeah, 100%.
00:01:15.880 We get all of that.
00:01:16.940 But what she's just trying to say was just a simple.
00:01:18.740 You're just shrunk.
00:01:19.460 No, it's not.
00:01:20.920 Let us speak.
00:01:22.460 What she's trying to say just one simple term.
00:01:24.620 From when you're a woman, you're a mother.
00:01:27.420 Meaning that we just have a natural disposition to love.
00:01:28.880 Okay, this is going to be your final warning.
00:01:32.800 Please stop interrupting everybody.
00:01:34.580 Go ahead.
00:01:35.040 Go.
00:01:35.240 It's just a natural inclination to just love and to take care.
00:01:38.720 Like when we saw the dog running around, what did all the girls do? 1.00
00:01:41.860 Oh, we're ready to take the dog.
00:01:44.280 Of course, because they have that potato thing. 0.99
00:01:47.160 But we're just more extra with it.
00:01:49.340 You know what I mean?
00:01:50.300 Can I just say one thing to your plate though?
00:01:52.440 I think it's been difficult to say this because I think obviously you guys make all great points
00:01:57.580 here in the room and it's good to have different opinions.
00:01:59.860 But from speaking to a lot of women, I'd like to say I've been fairly successful as a man.
00:02:06.820 You know, maybe not in terms of relationships, but in terms of friendships and just building
00:02:10.460 trust with a lot of people.
00:02:12.140 And the conversations I have living in London, you know, some metropolitan city, a lot of
00:02:16.460 people have careers and I feel like they're so pressured these days.
00:02:20.380 And I feel like, you know, society is making it so difficult for people to actually want
00:02:25.360 to, you know, have kids.
00:02:27.400 It is very difficult, you know, growing up watching our mothers struggle.
00:02:31.080 You know, that's a major one.
00:02:32.780 You're talking about trauma, right?
00:02:34.100 So I think when we're talking about owing something, I think we do owe, you know, every, you know,
00:02:39.080 we owe something to someone or to the community, to society.
00:02:43.600 But I think the government should make it a little bit easier for people.
00:02:47.020 I think it's very expensive and it is scary.
00:02:49.560 Like, you know, a lot of people that want to have kids, I think they probably think they can't afford to have kids.
00:02:53.400 Okay, that's, no, the government should not make it easier for people.
00:02:56.060 That is not the government's responsibility.
00:02:58.060 And I want to talk about...
00:02:58.980 We're already very spoiled in this country already.
00:03:00.680 There's a lot of people struggling.
00:03:02.300 No, no, this is what I agree with what you said, but I want to get a little granular.
00:03:06.240 And I want to ask you in a second, but if I may, because we talk about the concept of ownership.
00:03:10.780 Like, do I owe it to the world to be a mother?
00:03:12.600 And you said, well, maybe the government should make it easier.
00:03:14.600 And that completely voiced that over to the responsibility that men have.
00:03:18.580 So I asked the guys the question here, just the guys.
00:03:22.500 Do you owe it to the world to be productive?
00:03:26.060 Do you owe it to the world to have the best version of yourself?
00:03:30.320 Do you owe it to the world to build institutions?
00:03:32.920 Do you owe it to the world to conduct yourself with integrity and character?
00:03:36.240 And do you owe it to the world to be a trustworthy, respectable man?
00:03:39.280 Yes or no?
00:03:40.280 So I'm going to twist this question a bit in line of what's been said here.
00:03:43.880 No, no, no.
00:03:44.300 That was stuff one of stuff like two.
00:03:46.160 But I just want to say, you know, I think a lot of guys, they try to be pronatalists, right?
00:03:49.920 And they're like, I'm just going to go out there and have a lot of kids, right?
00:03:52.520 But pronatalism is about culture.
00:03:54.440 If I just go out there and I have a lot of kids and I don't treat my wife like a queen. 0.93
00:03:57.300 If my daughters don't grow up wanting to be moms because of the way they see their mom live, then I have failed.
00:04:04.840 And if I treat my wife like, and my sons see that, then they're going to treat their wives that way and their daughters, yes.
00:04:12.120 And this is what pronatalism is about.
00:04:14.000 It's about rethinking as a society what it means to be married to somebody, what it means to sacrifice for somebody.
00:04:20.460 Because that's what I owe all of this to is her, because she's given up so much for me.
00:04:24.280 I like this guy.
00:04:25.080 He's hard.
00:04:25.360 Come on.
00:04:26.840 I owe it to my wife, but I haven't met her yet.
00:04:32.000 You know what I mean?
00:04:32.620 I haven't met her yet.
00:04:33.100 You owe it to your mom too, though.
00:04:34.600 Yeah, but my mom's... 0.98
00:04:35.080 Not just your wife.
00:04:35.800 You don't even have a wife right now.
00:04:36.780 Some of us have some generational curses to break.
00:04:39.400 Listen, and let me tell you where I'm coming from before I get kicked off the show.
00:04:43.740 Yeah?
00:04:44.100 I'm not talking for humanity.
00:04:46.100 I'm talking for myself.
00:04:47.540 You said my mom.
00:04:48.520 My mom's in the sky.
00:04:49.720 She's been dead for like seven years.
00:04:51.880 So be careful what you say and how you say it, because each individual person are going through their own pains,
00:04:59.460 and their own mental brain processes are different.
00:05:03.100 Everyone's not the same.
00:05:04.760 And that's all I want everyone to understand.
00:05:07.140 We're not the same.
00:05:09.000 Everyone's trying to put us on the same playing field, but we're not the same.
00:05:12.500 Wait, that's like water is wet, the sky is blue.
00:05:15.440 You're talking in parables.
00:05:17.380 I don't care about parables.
00:05:18.860 A parable?
00:05:19.440 A parable is water's wet.
00:05:21.520 I don't really understand that.
00:05:23.240 The sky is blue, but the sky is a reflection of the sea.
00:05:27.300 Can we go back to the point where if we got help, we would actually reproduce?
00:05:31.200 Because, for example, you always see footballers at 25 with bare kids, and it's because they can afford it.
00:05:37.580 They can actually give that child a really good life that they may never have had.
00:05:40.840 If I had money, I would be on the hunt for a guy, and I would be able to focus.
00:05:45.280 No, I don't think it's money.
00:05:46.680 I think it's that women throw themselves at these guys. 1.00
00:05:49.580 Yeah.
00:05:50.280 Come on.
00:05:51.800 It's so nice and easy saying, let's reproduce, but people can't afford that.
00:05:56.220 I actually, I want to let.
00:05:58.540 Pearl, this was exactly the second point.
00:06:00.880 I was starting a point.
00:06:01.600 Okay, go ahead.
00:06:02.160 And this dude brilliantly hijacked my point, twisted it into a new point, presented a third point, and got an applause for it.
00:06:08.480 So, thanks for stealing my thunder. 0.98
00:06:09.700 I killed him. 1.00
00:06:10.140 I killed him. 1.00
00:06:10.460 Sorry. 0.98
00:06:10.980 That was very rude.
00:06:12.060 He's a good dude.
00:06:13.620 So, the question I postulate is, do we men owe it to society to be the best versions of ourselves to produce useful labor to build institutions, right?
00:06:22.040 And if the answer is yes, because it gives us a purpose to aim for something higher, why is it then that men owe it to society to build institutions?
00:06:29.520 Because building institutions, being reliable, being of high character, being of value, of economic value to society, what you do is you make money.
00:06:38.160 And, by the way, the stripes on my suit say make money for that purpose because it teaches you it's not supposed to be as reductive as it seems.
00:06:46.040 It's very simple.
00:06:46.880 It just teaches you to be self-reliant and independent because it's a high purpose to shoot for to not have to rely on the government.
00:06:52.780 That's all that says.
00:06:53.520 It's like a freedom from government.
00:06:54.680 It's not about relying on the government.
00:06:55.780 I said some people don't have the same opportunities as you.
00:06:58.980 Maybe you grew up in a very nice –
00:07:00.780 I did.
00:07:01.020 I don't know.
00:07:01.380 I don't know.
00:07:01.780 Listen, I'm saying maybe, right?
00:07:03.060 I'm very –
00:07:03.560 Okay, cool.
00:07:04.020 Maybe you didn't.
00:07:04.620 Bro, bro, stop.
00:07:05.700 I'm not done yet.
00:07:06.280 No, let him finish his point.
00:07:07.480 Let me finish my point before you argue my point.
00:07:09.700 You don't know my point.
00:07:10.500 Let him go.
00:07:11.640 You don't know my point.
00:07:12.120 Finish your point, bro.
00:07:12.760 I grew up in a predominantly social housing ghetto neighborhood because I'm an immigrant from the Soviet Union.
00:07:18.360 And I ate at the food bank and it was embarrassing.
00:07:20.920 So what does that mean?
00:07:21.800 What does that mean?
00:07:22.300 It means that I'm –
00:07:23.660 I ain't at the food bank.
00:07:24.400 To me, what does that mean?
00:07:25.220 I'm not –
00:07:25.940 Stop doing nothing to me, bro.
00:07:27.380 Don't knock your –
00:07:28.220 Guy that's dressed like a grasshopper.
00:07:30.820 Stop interrupting, bro.
00:07:32.280 What are you talking to me?
00:07:34.140 Yes, I'm talking exactly to you.
00:07:36.160 All right, so hey, what we do.
00:07:37.580 Hey, what we do.
00:07:38.160 Bro, we're going to have to –
00:07:38.860 Hey, what we do.
00:07:39.540 Listen, listen, listen.
00:07:40.460 Let me land.
00:07:41.820 Let me land.
00:07:42.220 Can you mute his mic?
00:07:43.120 Let me land.
00:07:43.640 I've given you so many warnings.
00:07:45.340 Please, guys.
00:07:45.820 Get rid of him.
00:07:46.860 Big up your comments, though.
00:07:47.980 No.
00:07:48.600 Big up your comment.
00:07:49.660 I love that.
00:07:51.020 You see the buttons you're trying to press?
00:07:52.380 Can you mute his mic, please?
00:07:54.360 Thank you.
00:07:55.340 Mute my mic.
00:07:55.980 Yeah, no, you have to go.
00:07:57.040 I've told you to stop.
00:08:00.020 Hey, yo.
00:08:01.960 Okay.
00:08:03.400 Dimitri, go ahead.
00:08:04.160 Anyway, so the aspiration for a man, there has to be a higher purpose, right? 0.63
00:08:07.880 I'm not saying that we're all the same and we have the same opportunity.
00:08:10.560 It's not that.
00:08:10.960 But the idea is not that we have the same potential.
00:08:14.300 We all have different potentials.
00:08:15.280 You're probably a better musician than I am.
00:08:16.640 I'm not very creative, right?
00:08:17.900 We have different potentials in academia.
00:08:19.940 We have different potential in the way we present ourselves.
00:08:21.940 We all have different potential, right?
00:08:23.300 But the idea of being productive and a man of value is that you have a higher purpose to aim for.
00:08:31.000 So, Pearl, I want to answer your question.
00:08:33.440 Do women owe it to society to have kids? 1.00
00:08:35.040 I'm not going to tell women what they owe or they don't owe. 0.98
00:08:36.980 But the idea that if a woman owes it to society to have kids, that sets an extremely high bar of aspiration because it's so damn hard to be a productive enough person for a man to attract a woman who's got enough wisdom and sagaciousness and long-term outlook. 0.96
00:08:54.960 And, by the way, we talk about we don't owe anything anyone, like servitude.
00:09:00.040 It's a very high bar to have children, is it not?
00:09:02.360 It is a high bar.
00:09:03.100 It is for yourself.
00:09:04.400 And that's aspirational and that's beautiful.
00:09:06.060 Mm-hmm.
00:09:06.520 Mm-hmm.
00:09:06.860 Mm-hmm.
00:09:07.200 Mm-hmm.
00:09:08.700 Mm-hmm.
00:09:09.520 Mm-hmm.
00:09:11.080 Mm-hmm.
00:09:11.180 Mm-hmm.
00:09:14.880 Mm-hmm.
00:09:15.840 Mm-hmm.
00:09:18.220 Mm-hmm.
00:09:20.940 Mm-hmm.
00:09:29.500 Mm.
00:09:30.580 .