JustPearlyThings - April 06, 2023


Aunty Jenny Got CHEATED On and She Did This...


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

232.56445

Word Count

2,571

Sentence Count

261


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 But the thing is with men, if you look for it, you'll find it.
00:00:02.700 If you want to, you'll find it.
00:00:04.520 Talking to your...
00:00:05.160 Oh, yeah, same problem.
00:00:07.940 Yeah, I don't look for that kind of thing.
00:00:09.800 So, yeah, as far as I know, no, but maybe.
00:00:13.060 Okay, let's start here.
00:00:15.300 Yeah, I reckon I have.
00:00:17.180 I never really saw anything in particular,
00:00:20.600 but I had very strong convictions that I was.
00:00:24.240 And then, you know, like when this is why I say sometimes men lie unprovoked.
00:00:27.020 Talk to your mic.
00:00:27.700 Sorry, yeah, men lie unprovoked.
00:00:30.000 Because I knew, but then I'd ask him.
00:00:33.820 And then sometimes he'd say no.
00:00:35.840 And then other times he'd be like, okay, yeah.
00:00:37.800 Because, you know, when I make him feel safe, I'm like, no, just tell me the truth.
00:00:40.640 It's fine.
00:00:42.740 And then he's like, okay, yeah.
00:00:46.460 And then other times when I do bring up, he's like, I didn't say that.
00:00:49.680 I'm like, yeah, you did.
00:00:50.540 So I never really found anything properly, but I just, I really need.
00:00:55.040 You think you want to know, you don't.
00:00:56.760 No, do you know what?
00:00:58.500 I can handle the truth.
00:00:59.500 I never ask questions if I can't handle the answer.
00:01:02.360 Like I will be ignorant.
00:01:03.480 I will happily live ignorantly.
00:01:05.080 But I would ask a question when I know that I can handle the truth.
00:01:07.860 And I think it doesn't matter what it is.
00:01:09.940 It doesn't matter how bad it is.
00:01:11.860 Please always tell me the truth.
00:01:12.860 Yeah.
00:01:13.020 I don't care how bad it is, but yeah.
00:01:14.880 It's easier just to be truthful.
00:01:16.980 Don't waste anybody's time.
00:01:18.460 And I hate it when men are like, oh, you can't handle the truth.
00:01:20.940 And it's like, no, I can handle the truth a lot better than you're lying.
00:01:24.520 I think sometimes women say you can handle the truth, but you actually can't.
00:01:31.800 Because I think, and I think that's why a lot of guys would then lie even after you tell
00:01:35.600 them.
00:01:35.840 Because a lot of women would be like, do you know, just tell me and we'll talk about it.
00:01:39.740 But when he then tells you the truth, it's now a whole, it's a whole thing.
00:01:42.780 You can't, you don't, you don't have a proper conversation about it, which is why a lot
00:01:45.820 of them lie about it.
00:01:46.500 Do you know where a lot of girls go wrong?
00:01:48.260 Men will test whether they can be truthful with you throughout the relationship.
00:01:51.420 Yeah.
00:01:51.700 And you don't clock those little tests where you might say something and see how you respond
00:01:54.440 to it.
00:01:54.800 It might not be a big thing, but that response tells us a lot about how you behave.
00:01:57.700 So when it comes to the big things, there's no way they're going to tell you anything.
00:02:00.600 No, but you know what it is?
00:02:01.560 The response she gives you when she first finds out, when she says she can handle the truth
00:02:04.860 is going to be far better than when she finds out you've lied to her.
00:02:08.780 Because that's when she's vandalizing your car.
00:02:10.760 Do you get what I mean?
00:02:11.640 If he gets caught.
00:02:12.680 If he gets caught, the reactions are far worse.
00:02:15.280 So even if she says she can handle it and she reacts, it's going to be a lot more better
00:02:19.360 than when she finds out that you've lied on top of that.
00:02:21.780 I've seen women with the same energy.
00:02:24.500 Can't never lie to you.
00:02:25.200 I'm like, I get why the guy was scared.
00:02:27.420 Well, you should have cheated in the first place.
00:02:29.080 Definitely.
00:02:29.720 That is the biggest lesson.
00:02:30.660 I don't think guys can handle the truth any better.
00:02:33.780 No, they can't.
00:02:34.480 They definitely can't.
00:02:35.260 I will die.
00:02:36.660 I will die on the spot.
00:02:37.580 Your egos get so bruised.
00:02:38.940 My immune system will shut down.
00:02:40.120 I'll say this at the same time.
00:02:40.820 I will die on the spot.
00:02:41.880 If we told you the truth about all the things that we thought when you asked for our opinion,
00:02:45.660 we're dead.
00:02:46.540 Yeah.
00:02:47.420 I'm honest.
00:02:48.020 I'll die.
00:02:48.700 Don't do it.
00:02:49.460 I'll end up in hospital.
00:02:51.440 I'm glad that you admit that.
00:02:52.860 100%.
00:02:53.740 Ego's fragile.
00:02:55.240 Serious.
00:02:55.680 What about you, Auntie?
00:02:59.060 Yeah, a few times.
00:03:00.420 A few times.
00:03:01.760 I can think of two different times.
00:03:06.640 And once, boyfriend at the time was supposed to go out.
00:03:11.100 He didn't turn up.
00:03:12.060 So I went to his house and the young lady answered the door.
00:03:15.260 Oh, wow.
00:03:16.180 Yeah, that's rich.
00:03:17.420 I just said, hi.
00:03:18.940 I asked for him.
00:03:22.260 And I said, you know.
00:03:25.100 And she goes, oh, he's upstairs.
00:03:26.400 I said, oh, I'll come up.
00:03:30.580 And he was in bed.
00:03:32.020 He's saying, freezing.
00:03:32.540 And he just looked like, freezing.
00:03:34.700 He likes to have a heart attack.
00:03:36.020 Like, you just see all the color just drained out of his face.
00:03:40.100 And I just said, hi.
00:03:42.640 And she said, would you like a cup of coffee?
00:03:44.400 I said, yes, please.
00:03:46.120 And she went downstairs to get the coffee.
00:03:48.600 And he looked at me.
00:03:49.620 And I said, what do you want me to say?
00:03:51.480 Do you want me to freak out?
00:03:52.860 I said, nah, I'm not going to do that.
00:03:54.600 I said, the poor girl.
00:03:55.400 I said, she don't know any different.
00:03:56.840 And she's come up and she was just like, hi.
00:03:58.960 And she's trying to cuddle him in bed.
00:04:01.240 Because they were in bed.
00:04:02.340 And he's sort of like, and I'm saying to her, is that your man?
00:04:05.260 And she said, yeah.
00:04:06.040 I said, hug him up, girl.
00:04:09.580 So were you the main chick or the side chick?
00:04:12.660 I was the main.
00:04:13.580 You were the main?
00:04:14.240 Yeah, but that was it.
00:04:15.060 But after that, I just terrorized him nicely.
00:04:18.280 Who did she think you were?
00:04:19.140 You did the right thing to talk to me.
00:04:20.060 She thought I was his friend.
00:04:22.420 Oh, but why would you?
00:04:23.780 She thought I was his friend.
00:04:25.500 Because I've got a lot of male friends.
00:04:27.820 And she always saw us with a lot of men together.
00:04:30.500 But obviously, the energy you came with as well
00:04:32.080 wouldn't be someone that you would assume was a big guy.
00:04:35.160 Because he's very calm and collective.
00:04:36.460 What am I supposed to do?
00:04:37.120 It's not her fault.
00:04:37.740 No, but as I say, most girls,
00:04:39.000 the instant response would be to run upstairs.
00:04:40.480 They've been trying to grab a plate and do something.
00:04:43.580 That's my time.
00:04:44.260 I was like, hi, I'm here, I'm coming.
00:04:45.900 You wanted to talk to him.
00:04:47.200 You wanted to talk to him.
00:04:48.280 Yeah, as you should.
00:04:49.260 Listen, right, as far as she was concerned,
00:04:50.740 I was his friend.
00:04:51.560 I became her friend, too.
00:04:54.280 She was throwing me up.
00:04:55.520 I'd pop round there when I was talking to the guys
00:04:57.960 because we'd all hang out round there.
00:04:59.140 So I'd pop round.
00:04:59.900 She said, oh, he's not in, you know.
00:05:01.340 I'm just cooking.
00:05:02.440 I've got to pop round to the shop to get some.
00:05:04.000 I found him.
00:05:04.380 I said, this is what you're having for dinner, right?
00:05:07.480 This is what you're having for dinner.
00:05:09.260 Yeah, he used to want to play at parties for me.
00:05:11.880 And then he wouldn't invite her.
00:05:12.880 I'm like, what do you mean you're not coming?
00:05:14.700 Tell him I invited you.
00:05:16.420 It's my party.
00:05:17.200 He's playing that.
00:05:17.820 He's not making us more psycho.
00:05:19.300 And then, no, and then I just left it at that.
00:05:22.520 But I think he cheated on her
00:05:24.120 because another time I just saw
00:05:25.540 all of his car had all paint all over it.
00:05:27.680 Oh, damn.
00:05:28.340 And I was just like,
00:05:29.420 what happened to your car?
00:05:30.460 Like, it wasn't me.
00:05:33.500 That became a drama for you.
00:05:34.340 No, he knew I wouldn't do that.
00:05:35.340 I wouldn't do that.
00:05:36.040 I wouldn't do that.
00:05:36.340 It's not worth it.
00:05:37.200 When am I going to argue with us?
00:05:38.620 When was I supposed to do it?
00:05:39.960 It's not her fault.
00:05:41.240 So moral of the story is pull up.
00:05:44.220 No, don't ever come to the house.
00:05:47.280 And catch him out.
00:05:48.180 It's more insane to like,
00:05:49.080 torture him over like time
00:05:51.080 than just like go ham on him.
00:05:52.880 Because you could have easily
00:05:53.560 just taken their jaw off
00:05:54.580 and then that'd be it.
00:05:55.280 Over, done with.
00:05:56.320 No, you're not actually.
00:05:56.780 Taking whose jaw off?
00:05:58.040 Whose jaw?
00:05:58.420 The guys.
00:05:59.020 Not the girls.
00:05:59.520 No, take his jaw off
00:06:01.340 and then walk around
00:06:02.180 and just forget about it.
00:06:02.960 I hurt my hands.
00:06:03.860 It breaks a little kind of back.
00:06:06.320 I could never hit a man
00:06:07.920 because if he hit me back,
00:06:09.040 it'll hurt.
00:06:09.740 I agree with that.
00:06:10.620 If I hit a man,
00:06:11.500 I'd expect him to hit me back.
00:06:12.700 But that's what I'm saying.
00:06:13.440 That's why I don't hit men.
00:06:14.320 Mine's not stupid.
00:06:15.420 I'm not going to hit a man
00:06:16.280 knowing that he's going to hit me back.
00:06:18.280 No way.
00:06:19.800 Because I believe that
00:06:20.840 if you hit somebody,
00:06:21.680 they've got to hit you back.
00:06:22.840 I'm not hitting anyone.
00:06:24.360 And another time
00:06:25.460 I got cheated on,
00:06:27.360 I was a supervisor
00:06:28.540 in a bus carriage.
00:06:30.240 And I got a phone call.
00:06:31.780 My boyfriend was a night bus driver.
00:06:34.060 And I got a phone call
00:06:35.120 and I passed a message
00:06:37.040 on to this person.
00:06:38.640 And I said,
00:06:39.100 yeah, can I ask you to speak?
00:06:40.120 And she said,
00:06:40.540 his girlfriend.
00:06:41.700 I said, okay then.
00:06:43.080 And I'd been seeing him
00:06:43.780 for a couple of years.
00:06:45.440 And when he was on his break,
00:06:46.800 I said, oh, can I have a word?
00:06:48.040 He said, yeah, no problem.
00:06:49.400 I said, your girlfriend phoned.
00:06:51.000 She wants you to phone her back.
00:06:52.980 He flipped out.
00:06:54.240 I was so calm.
00:06:55.180 He freaked out.
00:06:57.020 I said to the manager,
00:06:58.000 I said, you're going to need
00:06:58.600 a new driver in a couple of months.
00:06:59.920 Within a couple of months,
00:07:00.600 he was gone.
00:07:01.700 He was gone.
00:07:02.940 That was it.
00:07:04.320 And that was one.
00:07:05.380 And the thing is,
00:07:06.060 I made him,
00:07:06.680 we had like this relationship contract
00:07:08.700 that I'd signed
00:07:09.500 and laminated
00:07:10.140 and got him to sign.
00:07:12.000 And it was like,
00:07:12.740 you're telling me
00:07:13.300 because they were fine
00:07:13.840 that you're cheap.
00:07:14.540 That's it.
00:07:15.220 Yeah, no, I hear that.
00:07:15.980 So he just flipped out.
00:07:17.300 Was it a personal contract
00:07:18.240 you wrote up?
00:07:19.300 Yeah, typed it and everything.
00:07:21.060 Oh, wow.
00:07:22.060 Laminated it,
00:07:22.680 got to sign it,
00:07:23.580 of what I expected.
00:07:24.720 And you break any one of them,
00:07:25.820 that's it.
00:07:26.400 Did you do that
00:07:26.700 with your boyfriend?
00:07:28.260 No, but I feel that
00:07:29.040 I needed it to do with him, yeah.
00:07:31.440 I feel like I need to start doing that.
00:07:32.980 Why didn't you freak out?
00:07:34.660 Like so many girls
00:07:35.440 when that happens,
00:07:37.060 I think a lot of times
00:07:38.200 we have a hard time
00:07:38.960 like remaining calm.
00:07:40.680 How were you able
00:07:41.520 to control your emotions?
00:07:42.600 I didn't take it personally.
00:07:43.660 He's just a man
00:07:44.320 and he's just,
00:07:45.300 it was there available
00:07:46.220 and he just,
00:07:46.980 it happens, isn't it?
00:07:47.800 Take notes.
00:07:48.760 So, you know,
00:07:49.340 I didn't take it personally.
00:07:50.840 I mean, I didn't think,
00:07:51.640 yeah, oh my God,
00:07:52.260 she's sexier than me
00:07:53.260 or she can do this.
00:07:54.400 I just thought
00:07:54.880 the opportunity came up
00:07:56.120 because as far as I'm concerned,
00:07:57.920 you got a few more friends,
00:07:59.080 go ahead
00:07:59.500 because it could be
00:08:00.260 a few more friends
00:08:00.940 you're going to sleep with.
00:08:01.680 It could be a woman
00:08:02.280 down the road
00:08:02.840 that you meet up.
00:08:03.860 So it don't really matter.
00:08:04.780 So I'm not going to say
00:08:05.300 you can't have female friends.
00:08:06.940 So he had female friends
00:08:08.040 and that was one of them.
00:08:09.300 So did you break up
00:08:11.200 with him after that?
00:08:11.840 Oh, instantly.
00:08:12.700 He knew it was over
00:08:13.540 because he signed the contract.
00:08:14.880 Yeah.
00:08:15.040 And what about the other one?
00:08:16.620 Instantly.
00:08:17.220 Instantly.
00:08:17.620 Yeah.
00:08:18.000 What do you think of girls
00:08:19.000 that stay in those situations?
00:08:20.640 Do you think that's good or bad?
00:08:23.040 Then they're going to start
00:08:23.660 talking about trauma after that.
00:08:27.340 It's up to them.
00:08:28.580 But whatever you get,
00:08:29.520 I mean, if it can happen once,
00:08:30.800 I mean, you can accept it
00:08:31.720 if you want to accept it,
00:08:32.760 but if you accept it,
00:08:35.500 then put up with it in it.
00:08:36.660 Don't say nothing.
00:08:37.760 Yeah, because a lot of times
00:08:38.940 like we accept it
00:08:39.860 and then complain about trauma later,
00:08:41.440 but like we accepted it.
00:08:42.860 Yeah.
00:08:43.280 We put ourselves through it.
00:08:44.540 Yeah.
00:08:45.000 I'll give that.
00:08:45.560 I mean, you got to think to yourself
00:08:46.720 what value you're putting on yourself
00:08:48.320 that you're staying.
00:08:49.540 I think a lot of women
00:08:51.440 stay with men.
00:08:52.640 I think young,
00:08:53.580 like when I was younger,
00:08:54.420 I was like,
00:08:54.720 no, I'd never tolerate a man cheating
00:08:55.880 or whatever,
00:08:56.320 but it's harder
00:08:57.200 when you're in a relationship,
00:08:58.340 especially when you're
00:08:59.220 emotionally involved
00:09:00.180 for you to just up and leave.
00:09:01.560 I think modern women
00:09:02.500 like being cheated on.
00:09:04.280 Do you think?
00:09:04.680 But that's because
00:09:05.780 modern women
00:09:06.960 think men are monogamous.
00:09:09.000 Modern women are stupid though.
00:09:10.220 No, I think.
00:09:10.940 No, because the men
00:09:11.900 are saying they're not monogamous.
00:09:12.520 No, I'm just saying
00:09:13.360 only one out of three men
00:09:14.660 are either virgins
00:09:15.340 or haven't had sex
00:09:16.060 in the past year.
00:09:16.680 If you wanted a man
00:09:17.400 that didn't cheat,
00:09:18.020 you could find one pretty easy.
00:09:19.400 Yeah, but they're the ones
00:09:19.940 that you're not attracted to.
00:09:21.280 You, what?
00:09:22.960 Monogamous men
00:09:23.580 that often might not cheat on you
00:09:25.260 aren't the ones
00:09:25.880 that women are attracted to
00:09:26.880 because women like men
00:09:28.340 that are like alpha or...
00:09:29.680 Well, women find 80%
00:09:30.740 of men unattractive.
00:09:31.740 So most women
00:09:32.320 are sleeping out of their league
00:09:33.320 or dating out of their league.
00:09:34.600 And so if you choose to do that,
00:09:36.480 that's what comes with it.
00:09:37.600 Yeah, and most of them guys
00:09:39.120 that everyone goes for
00:09:40.080 is going to be a select pack.
00:09:41.980 Yeah, yeah.
00:09:42.580 But that's the thing.
00:09:43.620 So the maths is not...
00:09:44.440 Yeah, so I'm saying like
00:09:45.220 if we like those guys,
00:09:46.480 how can we be mad
00:09:47.560 that they cheat?
00:09:48.400 Because there's lots of guys
00:09:49.260 that don't.
00:09:50.000 And I think this is the problem
00:09:50.900 is because in society now
00:09:52.220 where we don't allow men
00:09:53.840 to be polygamous,
00:09:55.260 especially in the Western countries,
00:09:56.960 and then that's the men
00:09:57.820 that are often caught in cheating
00:09:58.920 and families are breaking.
00:10:00.200 Whereas like parts of Asia and Africa
00:10:01.700 where polygamy is a lot more accepted,
00:10:03.340 men have their children,
00:10:05.000 multiple wives,
00:10:05.620 and they raise them
00:10:06.300 and their society is a lot more stable.
00:10:09.080 But don't you think
00:10:09.560 that the onus should be on the men
00:10:10.980 to know what they can
00:10:12.080 and cannot do?
00:10:12.840 So for me,
00:10:13.420 if you know that you're a man
00:10:15.620 who wants to have multiple women,
00:10:17.600 you should know what you want
00:10:18.520 and you should make that clear.
00:10:19.820 100%.
00:10:20.180 So I'm not here for you
00:10:22.580 being in a monogamous relationship.
00:10:24.200 Because I've had guys say that
00:10:25.080 where they're in a monogamous relationship,
00:10:27.420 they cheat,
00:10:27.960 and then they come and tell me,
00:10:29.380 well, by nature,
00:10:31.100 our men are not men.
00:10:31.680 Yeah.
00:10:32.420 Babes, then you should have known that.
00:10:33.740 You should not be in a monogamous relationship.
00:10:34.660 You know, a caveat,
00:10:35.660 a caveat though,
00:10:36.860 I think most of the modern men
00:10:38.920 don't want a second wife.
00:10:40.780 They want a side piece.
00:10:43.360 So they want to remain monogamous
00:10:45.020 to the one that they love,
00:10:46.040 but then have a little...
00:10:47.120 As many of you know,
00:10:48.180 I was just banned on TikTok
00:10:50.220 and we are demonetized
00:10:51.940 on a daily basis
00:10:53.200 on this platform.
00:10:55.020 If you want to help,
00:10:56.480 please consider sending
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