JustPearlyThings - Aunty Jenny Got CHEATED On and She Did This...

00:00:00.000 But the thing is with men, if you look for it, you'll find it.

00:00:02.700 If you want to, you'll find it.

00:00:04.520 Talking to your...

00:00:05.160 Oh, yeah, same problem.

00:00:07.940 Yeah, I don't look for that kind of thing.

00:00:09.800 So, yeah, as far as I know, no, but maybe.

00:00:13.060 Okay, let's start here.

00:00:15.300 Yeah, I reckon I have.

00:00:17.180 I never really saw anything in particular,

00:00:20.600 but I had very strong convictions that I was.

00:00:24.240 And then, you know, like when this is why I say sometimes men lie unprovoked.

00:00:27.020 Talk to your mic.

00:00:27.700 Sorry, yeah, men lie unprovoked.

00:00:30.000 Because I knew, but then I'd ask him.

00:00:33.820 And then sometimes he'd say no.

00:00:35.840 And then other times he'd be like, okay, yeah.

00:00:37.800 Because, you know, when I make him feel safe, I'm like, no, just tell me the truth.

00:00:40.640 It's fine.

00:00:42.740 And then he's like, okay, yeah.

00:00:46.460 And then other times when I do bring up, he's like, I didn't say that.

00:00:49.680 I'm like, yeah, you did.

00:00:50.540 So I never really found anything properly, but I just, I really need.

00:00:55.040 You think you want to know, you don't.

00:00:56.760 No, do you know what?

00:00:58.500 I can handle the truth.

00:00:59.500 I never ask questions if I can't handle the answer. 0.90

00:01:02.360 Like I will be ignorant. 0.95

00:01:03.480 I will happily live ignorantly.

00:01:05.080 But I would ask a question when I know that I can handle the truth.

00:01:07.860 And I think it doesn't matter what it is.

00:01:09.940 It doesn't matter how bad it is.

00:01:11.860 Please always tell me the truth.

00:01:12.860 Yeah.

00:01:13.020 I don't care how bad it is, but yeah.

00:01:14.880 It's easier just to be truthful.

00:01:16.980 Don't waste anybody's time.

00:01:18.460 And I hate it when men are like, oh, you can't handle the truth.

00:01:20.940 And it's like, no, I can handle the truth a lot better than you're lying.

00:01:24.520 I think sometimes women say you can handle the truth, but you actually can't. 1.00

00:01:31.800 Because I think, and I think that's why a lot of guys would then lie even after you tell

00:01:35.600 them.

00:01:35.840 Because a lot of women would be like, do you know, just tell me and we'll talk about it. 1.00

00:01:39.740 But when he then tells you the truth, it's now a whole, it's a whole thing.

00:01:42.780 You can't, you don't, you don't have a proper conversation about it, which is why a lot

00:01:45.820 of them lie about it.

00:01:46.500 Do you know where a lot of girls go wrong? 1.00

00:01:48.260 Men will test whether they can be truthful with you throughout the relationship.

00:01:51.420 Yeah.

00:01:51.700 And you don't clock those little tests where you might say something and see how you respond

00:01:54.440 to it.

00:01:54.800 It might not be a big thing, but that response tells us a lot about how you behave.

00:01:57.700 So when it comes to the big things, there's no way they're going to tell you anything.

00:02:00.600 No, but you know what it is?

00:02:01.560 The response she gives you when she first finds out, when she says she can handle the truth

00:02:04.860 is going to be far better than when she finds out you've lied to her. 0.98

00:02:08.780 Because that's when she's vandalizing your car. 1.00

00:02:10.760 Do you get what I mean?

00:02:11.640 If he gets caught.

00:02:12.680 If he gets caught, the reactions are far worse.

00:02:15.280 So even if she says she can handle it and she reacts, it's going to be a lot more better

00:02:19.360 than when she finds out that you've lied on top of that.

00:02:21.780 I've seen women with the same energy. 0.99

00:02:24.500 Can't never lie to you.

00:02:25.200 I'm like, I get why the guy was scared.

00:02:27.420 Well, you should have cheated in the first place.

00:02:29.080 Definitely.

00:02:29.720 That is the biggest lesson.

00:02:30.660 I don't think guys can handle the truth any better.

00:02:33.780 No, they can't.

00:02:34.480 They definitely can't.

00:02:35.260 I will die. 0.98

00:02:36.660 I will die on the spot. 1.00

00:02:37.580 Your egos get so bruised. 0.99

00:02:38.940 My immune system will shut down.

00:02:40.120 I'll say this at the same time.

00:02:40.820 I will die on the spot.

00:02:41.880 If we told you the truth about all the things that we thought when you asked for our opinion, 0.96

00:02:45.660 we're dead.

00:02:46.540 Yeah.

00:02:47.420 I'm honest. 0.59

00:02:48.020 I'll die.

00:02:48.700 Don't do it. 0.73

00:02:49.460 I'll end up in hospital.

00:02:51.440 I'm glad that you admit that.

00:02:52.860 100%.

00:02:53.740 Ego's fragile.

00:02:55.240 Serious.

00:02:55.680 What about you, Auntie?

00:02:59.060 Yeah, a few times.

00:03:00.420 A few times.

00:03:01.760 I can think of two different times.

00:03:06.640 And once, boyfriend at the time was supposed to go out.

00:03:11.100 He didn't turn up.

00:03:12.060 So I went to his house and the young lady answered the door.

00:03:15.260 Oh, wow.

00:03:16.180 Yeah, that's rich.

00:03:17.420 I just said, hi.

00:03:18.940 I asked for him.

00:03:22.260 And I said, you know.

00:03:25.100 And she goes, oh, he's upstairs.

00:03:26.400 I said, oh, I'll come up.

00:03:30.580 And he was in bed.

00:03:32.020 He's saying, freezing.

00:03:32.540 And he just looked like, freezing.

00:03:34.700 He likes to have a heart attack.

00:03:36.020 Like, you just see all the color just drained out of his face.

00:03:40.100 And I just said, hi.

00:03:42.640 And she said, would you like a cup of coffee?

00:03:44.400 I said, yes, please.

00:03:46.120 And she went downstairs to get the coffee.

00:03:48.600 And he looked at me.

00:03:49.620 And I said, what do you want me to say?

00:03:51.480 Do you want me to freak out?

00:03:52.860 I said, nah, I'm not going to do that.

00:03:54.600 I said, the poor girl. 0.99

00:03:55.400 I said, she don't know any different.

00:03:56.840 And she's come up and she was just like, hi.

00:03:58.960 And she's trying to cuddle him in bed.

00:04:01.240 Because they were in bed.

00:04:02.340 And he's sort of like, and I'm saying to her, is that your man?

00:04:05.260 And she said, yeah.

00:04:06.040 I said, hug him up, girl.

00:04:09.580 So were you the main chick or the side chick?

00:04:12.660 I was the main.

00:04:13.580 You were the main?

00:04:14.240 Yeah, but that was it.

00:04:15.060 But after that, I just terrorized him nicely.

00:04:18.280 Who did she think you were? 1.00

00:04:19.140 You did the right thing to talk to me.

00:04:20.060 She thought I was his friend.

00:04:22.420 Oh, but why would you?

00:04:23.780 She thought I was his friend.

00:04:25.500 Because I've got a lot of male friends.

00:04:27.820 And she always saw us with a lot of men together.

00:04:30.500 But obviously, the energy you came with as well

00:04:32.080 wouldn't be someone that you would assume was a big guy.

00:04:35.160 Because he's very calm and collective.

00:04:36.460 What am I supposed to do?

00:04:37.120 It's not her fault.

00:04:37.740 No, but as I say, most girls, 1.00

00:04:39.000 the instant response would be to run upstairs.

00:04:40.480 They've been trying to grab a plate and do something.

00:04:43.580 That's my time.

00:04:44.260 I was like, hi, I'm here, I'm coming.

00:04:45.900 You wanted to talk to him.

00:04:47.200 You wanted to talk to him.

00:04:48.280 Yeah, as you should.

00:04:49.260 Listen, right, as far as she was concerned,

00:04:50.740 I was his friend.

00:04:51.560 I became her friend, too.

00:04:54.280 She was throwing me up.

00:04:55.520 I'd pop round there when I was talking to the guys

00:04:57.960 because we'd all hang out round there.

00:04:59.140 So I'd pop round.

00:04:59.900 She said, oh, he's not in, you know.

00:05:01.340 I'm just cooking.

00:05:02.440 I've got to pop round to the shop to get some.

00:05:04.000 I found him.

00:05:04.380 I said, this is what you're having for dinner, right?

00:05:07.480 This is what you're having for dinner.

00:05:09.260 Yeah, he used to want to play at parties for me.

00:05:11.880 And then he wouldn't invite her.

00:05:12.880 I'm like, what do you mean you're not coming?

00:05:14.700 Tell him I invited you.

00:05:16.420 It's my party.

00:05:17.200 He's playing that.

00:05:17.820 He's not making us more psycho.

00:05:19.300 And then, no, and then I just left it at that.

00:05:22.520 But I think he cheated on her

00:05:24.120 because another time I just saw

00:05:25.540 all of his car had all paint all over it. 0.99

00:05:27.680 Oh, damn. 0.99

00:05:28.340 And I was just like, 1.00

00:05:29.420 what happened to your car?

00:05:30.460 Like, it wasn't me.

00:05:33.500 That became a drama for you.

00:05:34.340 No, he knew I wouldn't do that.

00:05:35.340 I wouldn't do that.

00:05:36.040 I wouldn't do that.

00:05:36.340 It's not worth it.

00:05:37.200 When am I going to argue with us?

00:05:38.620 When was I supposed to do it?

00:05:39.960 It's not her fault.

00:05:41.240 So moral of the story is pull up.

00:05:44.220 No, don't ever come to the house.

00:05:47.280 And catch him out.

00:05:48.180 It's more insane to like,

00:05:49.080 torture him over like time 0.96

00:05:51.080 than just like go ham on him. 0.69

00:05:52.880 Because you could have easily

00:05:53.560 just taken their jaw off

00:05:54.580 and then that'd be it.

00:05:55.280 Over, done with.

00:05:56.320 No, you're not actually.

00:05:56.780 Taking whose jaw off?

00:05:58.040 Whose jaw?

00:05:58.420 The guys.

00:05:59.020 Not the girls.

00:05:59.520 No, take his jaw off

00:06:01.340 and then walk around

00:06:02.180 and just forget about it.

00:06:02.960 I hurt my hands.

00:06:03.860 It breaks a little kind of back.

00:06:06.320 I could never hit a man

00:06:07.920 because if he hit me back,

00:06:09.040 it'll hurt.

00:06:09.740 I agree with that.

00:06:10.620 If I hit a man,

00:06:11.500 I'd expect him to hit me back.

00:06:12.700 But that's what I'm saying.

00:06:13.440 That's why I don't hit men. 0.94

00:06:14.320 Mine's not stupid. 0.78

00:06:15.420 I'm not going to hit a man 0.96

00:06:16.280 knowing that he's going to hit me back.

00:06:18.280 No way.

00:06:19.800 Because I believe that

00:06:20.840 if you hit somebody,

00:06:21.680 they've got to hit you back.

00:06:22.840 I'm not hitting anyone.

00:06:24.360 And another time

00:06:25.460 I got cheated on,

00:06:27.360 I was a supervisor

00:06:28.540 in a bus carriage.

00:06:30.240 And I got a phone call.

00:06:31.780 My boyfriend was a night bus driver.

00:06:34.060 And I got a phone call

00:06:35.120 and I passed a message

00:06:37.040 on to this person.

00:06:38.640 And I said,

00:06:39.100 yeah, can I ask you to speak?

00:06:40.120 And she said,

00:06:40.540 his girlfriend.

00:06:41.700 I said, okay then.

00:06:43.080 And I'd been seeing him

00:06:43.780 for a couple of years.

00:06:45.440 And when he was on his break,

00:06:46.800 I said, oh, can I have a word?

00:06:48.040 He said, yeah, no problem.

00:06:49.400 I said, your girlfriend phoned.

00:06:51.000 She wants you to phone her back.

00:06:52.980 He flipped out.

00:06:54.240 I was so calm.

00:06:55.180 He freaked out.

00:06:57.020 I said to the manager,

00:06:58.000 I said, you're going to need

00:06:58.600 a new driver in a couple of months.

00:06:59.920 Within a couple of months,

00:07:00.600 he was gone.

00:07:01.700 He was gone.

00:07:02.940 That was it.

00:07:04.320 And that was one.

00:07:05.380 And the thing is,

00:07:06.060 I made him,

00:07:06.680 we had like this relationship contract

00:07:08.700 that I'd signed

00:07:09.500 and laminated

00:07:10.140 and got him to sign.

00:07:12.000 And it was like,

00:07:12.740 you're telling me

00:07:13.300 because they were fine

00:07:13.840 that you're cheap.

00:07:14.540 That's it.

00:07:15.220 Yeah, no, I hear that.

00:07:15.980 So he just flipped out.

00:07:17.300 Was it a personal contract

00:07:18.240 you wrote up?

00:07:19.300 Yeah, typed it and everything.

00:07:21.060 Oh, wow.

00:07:22.060 Laminated it,

00:07:22.680 got to sign it,

00:07:23.580 of what I expected.

00:07:24.720 And you break any one of them,

00:07:25.820 that's it.

00:07:26.400 Did you do that

00:07:26.700 with your boyfriend?

00:07:28.260 No, but I feel that

00:07:29.040 I needed it to do with him, yeah.

00:07:31.440 I feel like I need to start doing that.

00:07:32.980 Why didn't you freak out?

00:07:34.660 Like so many girls

00:07:35.440 when that happens,

00:07:37.060 I think a lot of times

00:07:38.200 we have a hard time

00:07:38.960 like remaining calm.

00:07:40.680 How were you able

00:07:41.520 to control your emotions?

00:07:42.600 I didn't take it personally.

00:07:43.660 He's just a man

00:07:44.320 and he's just,

00:07:45.300 it was there available

00:07:46.220 and he just,

00:07:46.980 it happens, isn't it?

00:07:47.800 Take notes.

00:07:48.760 So, you know,

00:07:49.340 I didn't take it personally.

00:07:50.840 I mean, I didn't think,

00:07:51.640 yeah, oh my God,

00:07:52.260 she's sexier than me 1.00

00:07:53.260 or she can do this.

00:07:54.400 I just thought

00:07:54.880 the opportunity came up

00:07:56.120 because as far as I'm concerned,

00:07:57.920 you got a few more friends,

00:07:59.080 go ahead

00:07:59.500 because it could be

00:08:00.260 a few more friends

00:08:00.940 you're going to sleep with. 0.98

00:08:01.680 It could be a woman 0.99

00:08:02.280 down the road

00:08:02.840 that you meet up.

00:08:03.860 So it don't really matter.

00:08:04.780 So I'm not going to say

00:08:05.300 you can't have female friends.

00:08:06.940 So he had female friends

00:08:08.040 and that was one of them.

00:08:09.300 So did you break up

00:08:11.200 with him after that?

00:08:11.840 Oh, instantly.

00:08:12.700 He knew it was over

00:08:13.540 because he signed the contract.

00:08:14.880 Yeah.

00:08:15.040 And what about the other one?

00:08:16.620 Instantly.

00:08:17.220 Instantly.

00:08:17.620 Yeah.

00:08:18.000 What do you think of girls 1.00

00:08:19.000 that stay in those situations?

00:08:20.640 Do you think that's good or bad?

00:08:23.040 Then they're going to start

00:08:23.660 talking about trauma after that.

00:08:27.340 It's up to them.

00:08:28.580 But whatever you get,

00:08:29.520 I mean, if it can happen once,

00:08:30.800 I mean, you can accept it

00:08:31.720 if you want to accept it,

00:08:32.760 but if you accept it,

00:08:35.500 then put up with it in it.

00:08:36.660 Don't say nothing.

00:08:37.760 Yeah, because a lot of times

00:08:38.940 like we accept it

00:08:39.860 and then complain about trauma later,

00:08:41.440 but like we accepted it.

00:08:42.860 Yeah.

00:08:43.280 We put ourselves through it.

00:08:44.540 Yeah.

00:08:45.000 I'll give that.

00:08:45.560 I mean, you got to think to yourself

00:08:46.720 what value you're putting on yourself

00:08:48.320 that you're staying.

00:08:49.540 I think a lot of women 1.00

00:08:51.440 stay with men.

00:08:52.640 I think young,

00:08:53.580 like when I was younger,

00:08:54.420 I was like,

00:08:54.720 no, I'd never tolerate a man cheating

00:08:55.880 or whatever,

00:08:56.320 but it's harder

00:08:57.200 when you're in a relationship,

00:08:58.340 especially when you're

00:08:59.220 emotionally involved

00:09:00.180 for you to just up and leave.

00:09:01.560 I think modern women 0.99

00:09:02.500 like being cheated on.

00:09:04.280 Do you think?

00:09:04.680 But that's because

00:09:05.780 modern women

00:09:06.960 think men are monogamous. 1.00

00:09:09.000 Modern women are stupid though. 1.00

00:09:10.220 No, I think. 1.00

00:09:10.940 No, because the men 0.84

00:09:11.900 are saying they're not monogamous.

00:09:12.520 No, I'm just saying

00:09:13.360 only one out of three men

00:09:14.660 are either virgins

00:09:15.340 or haven't had sex 0.70

00:09:16.060 in the past year.

00:09:16.680 If you wanted a man 0.94

00:09:17.400 that didn't cheat,

00:09:18.020 you could find one pretty easy.

00:09:19.400 Yeah, but they're the ones

00:09:19.940 that you're not attracted to.

00:09:21.280 You, what?

00:09:22.960 Monogamous men 0.93

00:09:23.580 that often might not cheat on you

00:09:25.260 aren't the ones

00:09:25.880 that women are attracted to

00:09:26.880 because women like men 0.61

00:09:28.340 that are like alpha or...

00:09:29.680 Well, women find 80% 1.00

00:09:30.740 of men unattractive.

00:09:31.740 So most women 1.00

00:09:32.320 are sleeping out of their league

00:09:33.320 or dating out of their league.

00:09:34.600 And so if you choose to do that,

00:09:36.480 that's what comes with it.

00:09:37.600 Yeah, and most of them guys

00:09:39.120 that everyone goes for

00:09:40.080 is going to be a select pack.

00:09:41.980 Yeah, yeah.

00:09:42.580 But that's the thing.

00:09:43.620 So the maths is not...

00:09:44.440 Yeah, so I'm saying like

00:09:45.220 if we like those guys,

00:09:46.480 how can we be mad

00:09:47.560 that they cheat?

00:09:48.400 Because there's lots of guys

00:09:49.260 that don't.

00:09:50.000 And I think this is the problem

00:09:50.900 is because in society now

00:09:52.220 where we don't allow men 0.98

00:09:53.840 to be polygamous,

00:09:55.260 especially in the Western countries,

00:09:56.960 and then that's the men

00:09:57.820 that are often caught in cheating

00:09:58.920 and families are breaking.

00:10:00.200 Whereas like parts of Asia and Africa 0.90

00:10:01.700 where polygamy is a lot more accepted,

00:10:03.340 men have their children,

00:10:05.000 multiple wives,

00:10:05.620 and they raise them

00:10:06.300 and their society is a lot more stable.

00:10:09.080 But don't you think

00:10:09.560 that the onus should be on the men

00:10:10.980 to know what they can

00:10:12.080 and cannot do?

00:10:12.840 So for me,

00:10:13.420 if you know that you're a man

00:10:15.620 who wants to have multiple women,

00:10:17.600 you should know what you want

00:10:18.520 and you should make that clear.

00:10:19.820 100%.

00:10:20.180 So I'm not here for you

00:10:22.580 being in a monogamous relationship.

00:10:24.200 Because I've had guys say that

00:10:25.080 where they're in a monogamous relationship,

00:10:27.420 they cheat,

00:10:27.960 and then they come and tell me,

00:10:29.380 well, by nature,

00:10:31.100 our men are not men.

00:10:31.680 Yeah.

00:10:32.420 Babes, then you should have known that.

00:10:33.740 You should not be in a monogamous relationship.

00:10:34.660 You know, a caveat,

00:10:35.660 a caveat though,

00:10:36.860 I think most of the modern men

00:10:38.920 don't want a second wife. 1.00

00:10:40.780 They want a side piece.

00:10:43.360 So they want to remain monogamous

00:10:45.020 to the one that they love,

00:10:46.040 but then have a little...

00:10:47.120 As many of you know,

00:10:48.180 I was just banned on TikTok

00:10:50.220 and we are demonetized

00:10:51.940 on a daily basis

00:10:53.200 on this platform.

00:10:55.020 If you want to help,

00:10:56.480 please consider sending

00:10:57.600 a super thanks below.

00:10:59.560 Every donation helps

00:11:00.840 and it helps make

00:11:01.680 what we do possible.

JustPearlyThings - April 06, 2023

Aunty Jenny Got CHEATED On and She Did This...

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