JustPearlyThings - Aunty Jenny's message to false accusers

00:00:00.000 i hear you auntie but um you get some people out there that they just won't go to the police either

00:00:06.240 because um they feel like the police ain't gonna do nothing about it you know what i'm saying

00:00:09.440 don't knock it till you've tried it i hear you but um there's this i'm just saying in general

00:00:13.040 there's a lot of people you can't say that to everyone if you've been abused go repart to the

00:00:16.480 police because not everybody's gonna do that some people don't even trust the police like some people

00:00:20.160 might have like oh maybe say for some poor yeah the police killed my son or you know i mean they

00:00:24.720 don't trust the police so everybody's not gonna go to the police i understand i understand what

00:00:28.400 you're saying right but if they're not going to report it and you don't want to say nothing about

00:00:33.520 it shut up about it don't go on social media and advertise it i agree shut up about it because i 0.89

00:00:39.840 don't understand how somebody could be too scared too frightened to report it to a police but they're

00:00:46.240 not too scared too frightened to go on a public platform and talk about it it don't make no sense

00:00:52.080 it don't make no sense to me do you know what it is right you get some people right they feel like

00:00:55.840 like if they announce it on the social media they feel like they're releasing their stress you know

00:01:00.000 what i'm saying just from my experience i've seen this you know i'm saying in this generation right 0.55

00:01:04.080 now back in the days in one of that but in this generation right now i've seen a lot of people

00:01:08.080 when they're going through this that they feel like if they go on social media go on to life

00:01:11.280 and then express their feelings because they just want the world to know where they're going

00:01:14.400 from yeah but there's but there's therapists i hear that but a lot of people don't do that and there's friends

00:01:18.640 and family like why are you going to on a pot like if if you're saying you're afraid if you're afraid of not

00:01:24.560 being believed if that's that's what you're saying then how you're going to go talk to more people

00:01:29.840 about it that doesn't like two plus two doesn't equal four it doesn't make sense but i'm just saying

00:01:34.720 you get you get some people like that yeah but like why do you i don't believe it yeah i don't buy

00:01:39.040 i i think it's a form of social currency now have you been abused yeah oh how was it did you report it

00:01:45.520 no but then don't say you've been abused then same as me sorry no that's that's not how that works

00:01:50.640 so so you don't you don't use your your experiences as a way to kind of prove a point but that doesn't

00:01:55.760 mean you can't factually state that like you asked the question that so i'm going to answer your

00:01:59.760 question factually anyway moving on um yeah i think it's a form of social currency i think because

00:02:05.200 we've we see we see this a lot right whether they all come up here and they've all you know everyone's

00:02:09.280 got their victim story and they're all noble victims like i just feel like they get a kick off it

00:02:12.560 like it's it's cool to be like to be one of the downtrodden it's called to be a victim sorry i wouldn't say

00:02:17.920 it's it's like cool to be a victim i went through it and i think maybe because time has passed like

00:02:25.760 you said you you are now you are now able to vent about what happened but maybe when you're going

00:02:33.840 through that and i'll say as someone who did go through that in two relationships there was no way

00:02:39.200 i could speak about it because to me no one would believe me to me i just had a baby with him and

00:02:45.040 you know you've given this this guy a son and you made your bed lying and to society especially to

00:02:51.680 like latin american cultures portuguese okay uh you have to you have to like even though as stupid 0.80

00:02:59.360 as it sounds okay you've had a child with someone okay make it look like you're doing well in life

00:03:04.640 so you don't want to come out and say you know what i am being abused i am being mentally uh being

00:03:10.720 abused i have to say mentally because it wasn't physical with this one right um so what happened

00:03:14.480 the second time can i answer what happened the second time uh the second time was um it became

00:03:19.600 physical but with this one it was both so i have to say that i was also i got i also got physical with

00:03:27.600 him and there was a time that there was a time there was a time i headbutted him so hard in the mouth

00:03:33.200 and he had a bustlet for a whole week did he call the police on you no no he didn't because he would

00:03:38.000 always say i'll never call the police on you because that's not me i'm a man and i'll take it

00:03:42.320 and in my and in my head auntie jenny i was like i'm i'm a piece of because even though he's

00:03:49.120 tall and he's bigger than me i still hit him and i have no right to do that so i am abusing him 0.60

00:03:54.320 even though he did that so it was just like you say it was it was it was an absolutely toxic

00:03:58.880 relationship but now when i look back at it i'm like i i don't blame him i don't see him any i don't

00:04:04.800 see him any less because i was just as bad as him like we were just as we were just as bad as

00:04:09.440 each other i respect that you can admit that yeah i think it's definitely a lot of um strength it

00:04:14.800 takes to come and kind of own up to your part in negative experiences i've noticed a lot of people

00:04:20.160 who say these kind of things have this idea that like they're never they never had anything to do

00:04:23.680 with it right i couldn't have solved my own problem for this that this that this that but they

00:04:27.520 can come out and tell the whole world about it but when you ask them what did you do in the time

00:04:32.160 i know people who are like staunch feminists and they're still dating guys and being abused and 1.00

00:04:35.840 telling me about like it's some like oh i'm a victim i was like girl you've been reading all

00:04:38.960 these like margot atwood books for time you still didn't know when you were being punched in the face

00:04:42.320 that you should maybe leave and you can't you can't like you can't just be like i i hold the l

00:04:47.200 you know i stayed in a bad situation too long i should have moved but you rarely get that it's

00:04:51.520 normally everyone else's fault so i respect i respect your admittance thank you accountability is

00:04:56.320 important in a relationship i guess everyone looking at of course it's who does more than the other

00:05:01.920 but accountability is important i guess can't just say right i'm listening to you the young lady in

00:05:07.360 the middle loose lucy loose yeah loose have you had any counseling or anything like that for what

00:05:15.600 you've been through i uh with my first relationship no the whole thing because as far as i'm concerned

00:05:20.880 i'm looking at you and it's still raw i have to say i have to say i am uh i am like a feisty little

00:05:29.520 something um but yes i have i have had counseling and i'm and i'm still having it okay on on my anger

00:05:36.960 and my um and my explosiveness which has calmed down a lot um but do you mean a lot relationship

00:05:43.760 wise or you know i'm just glad that you're getting some kind of help i uh hands up for that i like i

00:05:48.960 like that because you can tell in your face that the way you're talking about it like it happened yesterday

00:05:54.720 and it still has that same effect on you that's why i just thought you look you look traumatized

00:05:58.560 oh wow i didn't see that at all but don't forget i've been abused i've been abused as well and i

00:06:04.640 can see why when she was talking it was like she was reliving it it was like me mine's all gone

00:06:09.600 do you know i mean i just packed that away a long time ago got rid of it had counseling sorted it out

00:06:13.440 but for her to me it was raw i expected her to burst out crying like to relive it all over again

00:06:19.360 that's what i picked up from her that's why i asked and the fact that it's still ongoing

00:06:23.200 that counseling is still ongoing i got listen i'm not that good in the backs of people's heads so

00:06:27.440 maybe that's it you're right no i i am taking i am still taking counseling like in the relationship

00:06:32.320 i am now it's very healthy though there are some things that that don't go right you know my the

00:06:37.760 partner i have now he's like very smart and he tries to like outsmart me sometimes and i don't

00:06:42.240 want him to outsmart me but i recognize that he is smarter than me so we have like we we clash sometimes

00:06:48.000 um so for that reason i do take counseling but the counseling i have taken before has absolutely

00:06:53.280 helped me control my anger because i would be one that if someone was beeping at me in the car i

00:06:58.960 would come out and punch them i'd be on one whereas now whereas now yeah whereas now i i am not that

00:07:06.800 person like let's say road rage has calmed down but i i can't say that i'm perfect no yes i guess i do

00:07:14.000 take counseling and and i love it yeah and he he he the other day he was like here's here's 80

00:07:19.280 pound for your counseling like a colombian lady back home and then he he's like i support that

00:07:23.920 because we are going to do anything that that means for our relationship to be healthy we do we have to

00:07:30.160 invest and put some money down hey ho why not but i'm i'm i'm all for that i'm not going to say okay i

00:07:35.200 took some counseling i'm fine now no like i'm yeah i have a question so you said like you're the kind

00:07:41.040 of person that something happens the road you get out of your car and you're ready to get into an

00:07:44.480 altercation right i literally i did yeah do you think that played any part in like your past

00:07:50.320 relationships because i could imagine at one point that would that would affect of course because

00:07:54.240 even though you're in a relationship it gets to a point where when you're arguing with him you

00:07:58.240 forget he's your boyfriend and the way you're seeing is oh you're squaring up to me so i'm going

00:08:01.920 to square up to you this relationship and laughing goes out the window uh he's trying to prove a point

00:08:07.680 but no this is the point that i think um so so yeah it absolutely it absolutely does go out the

00:08:13.760 window and then all this the way i was brought up like in school i was in a school where i'd like

00:08:19.280 loads of fights went on and and and i was always involved i got bullied in like year seven year eight

00:08:23.600 and then in year nine i was like you know this is not happening and then i became i just like um

00:08:30.080 developed like this shield i'm gonna say and then of course i reflect that in my relationships but

00:08:35.920 so with the baby dad it was horrible it was like that then with the next partner i had he was he was

00:08:41.280 lovely i'm not gonna say he wasn't but there was physical violence involved from him or both from

00:08:47.040 both from both so in the relationship i am now that doesn't happen and here i am i'm like okay

00:08:54.160 i need therapy and i'm taking it and you know this i'm going to do my absolute best and whatever it takes

00:09:00.480 to make this one work why because i have a man that sees me the same way he knows my past

00:09:05.360 he knows all the madness he even knows i've got a criminal record he knows that and he

00:09:10.320 record yeah and he accepts me and he accepts me for that and he's like you know i'm going to work

00:09:15.920 with you because i believe that that you can be this good person and he knows that that deep down

00:09:20.560 i am and i and i you know i just want the best for both of us so all this all this bs that went on

00:09:26.160 in the past relationships i'm like okay that that that and that that's not happening again

00:09:30.400 you're showing that can i do you feel like because you're a woman um when it comes to like physical

00:09:36.320 abuse that you get away with it more a hundred percent a hundred percent and we should we should

00:09:42.880 test men respect 100 we do that because i'm i'm i consider myself a very feminine woman so if i have

00:09:50.480 a guy that gets into a relationship with me i need to know you are that man that's gonna like

00:09:56.560 hold me down because we do need that we do need that um assurance yeah we we do need that i'm gonna

00:10:02.960 hold you down uh you're too feisty let me hold you down girl because you ain't going nowhere you know 1.00

00:10:07.920 every now and then i'm going to tell you what's what and we like that but when we get a guy that

00:10:11.360 doesn't do that let me test you and if one once twice three times and then we just take you guys

00:10:19.360 i'm not gonna say for granted but we we we fuck about with you you know i think i i like i like 0.86

00:10:26.240 what you're saying because i think it shows that like you you're aware of being a flawed person and

00:10:31.680 so it's a it's a it's a way of speaking i i almost never hear i'm generally shocked did you say a

00:10:35.760 fraud person yeah like like you're you're flawed like you're you know you're cool with saying listen

00:10:41.360 i can be very physically kind of domineering i can be aggressive have you noticed when you hear

00:10:45.840 people talk about these kind of women talk about these kind they never say anything that you know 1.00

00:10:49.840 anything is on their part then the idea is that they're perfect human beings no no not not you but

00:10:56.560 i'm saying like in general it's always that the man's the bad guy they're the victim can i just

00:11:00.640 ask a question with all your experiences has it made you fear men has it made me fear men yeah do you

00:11:09.520 fear men no okay she's aggressive you i don't i don't fear man you know i agree with you you gave

00:11:17.520 me a different type of confidence and it's the thing where i know that if i know that if i'm going to

00:11:22.880 fight a man he will he will me up but i'm still going to give you my all you know say it again girl

00:11:29.840 say again but i know that biologically i can't take on a man if i was to go and find my boyfriend

00:11:36.480 he'll pin me down and box me and knock me out but i and i'm kind of thankful for that because i

00:11:44.240 now i don't like i don't see myself being like like a little squirrel and scared to speak no i don't see

00:11:50.480 myself doing that so in a way it's good but sometimes i go overboard and then i just take it too far and

00:11:54.960 then you know like all these problems i've had in the past okay that is good can i just say something

00:12:01.840 i also don't fear men because of my situation because i feel like when you when you've already

00:12:06.800 gone through so much like crazy stuff you look at it now and you've gone over it and you're now it's

00:12:11.520 normal it's nothing so like i said i wouldn't girls you don't need to fear men obviously they are

00:12:18.080 physically more uh they're stronger than you but what i always say is if someone if a man was coming

00:12:23.040 coming to hit me i wouldn't even hit him back to show him like i want to hit you back

00:12:26.720 if he hits me i'll just use my my fluidity to fall a little bit more and find ways to

00:12:31.520 squirrel my way out of it you just don't be afraid just be smart i fear women more than i fear men

00:12:37.200 me too i i i think women are much scarier than men absolutely that's why why are you looking at me like

00:12:43.680 i'm crazy no you're not crazy i do i do i do street interviews all the time i've i've only been

00:12:48.880 i'm like attacked or like had someone try to attack me and it's always been a woman oh wow 0.95

00:12:54.240 yeah like i had a girl they were like holding her back she was trying to she was trying to throw

00:12:58.240 a punch at me and like they were holding her back so she wouldn't yeah she knocked the mic on my out 1.00

00:13:03.760 of my hand what did you say to her no they took it down off of youtube somehow she got it taken down

00:13:10.240 but it's on jesse praise's channel go what did you tell her did you report it sorry that you

00:13:15.120 experienced that but what did you do well well so well she is so okay okay this is what happened

00:13:22.240 i was i was doing street interviews and basically like what what set her off was we were talking about

00:13:28.480 how you're not entitled to safety and i feel like as women like it it's not smart to walk they 1.00

00:13:35.600 always use the example like well i can't walk home alone at night and i'm like well neither can men

00:13:40.320 like why are you walking home alone at night that sounds like a stupid idea down a dark alley yeah

00:13:47.520 like why on earth like would you do that like i wouldn't do it as a dude either and so i just said

00:13:54.080 like why are you entitled to security and safety like no one's ever had security and safety in all of

00:13:59.360 history ever but you deserve it why and it'd be nice it would be it'd be a perk but like you want

00:14:07.360 to live in a big city that you chose to anyway so this is why she got mad and so then she's like you

00:14:13.520 effing slag and i didn't know what slag meant i didn't know what that meant but i knew i was being

00:14:18.080 insulted i was like this is british she's like you're a slag i'll have you you slag and like yeah and then she 1.00

00:14:26.000 like knocks the mic out of my hand she's coming at me my friend jesse's like pulling her away so

00:14:30.560 because i brought a guy so like you know it's smart yeah and um yeah i did you know i called her a whale 0.87

00:14:37.360 but like what i said was a fact she was okay yeah i mean like she was a heavyweight she was a drunken whale 0.96

00:14:45.040 well she was she was drunk as well she was integrated out late at night and drunk

00:14:49.200 yeah but i'm like then that's that's where the whales start yeah imagine though boys fight a lot

00:14:55.760 as well girl on girl boy on boy i feel like the people feel like it's okay because it's same same

00:15:00.800 gender so it's not as bad yeah that's why sport is divided in sexes yeah i don't think that's

00:15:07.280 it's not good for anybody but why like okay if you went up to dwayne the rock johnson

00:15:12.400 and you started something with him and you got hit back no one would really feel bad for you

00:15:16.080 yeah why do we feel bad for women if you hit him and you start something and you get hit back 0.99

00:15:21.680 you started it yeah whoever started it you started it that's your blame absolutely yeah

00:15:26.560 i mean you never hit first you're never meant to hit first my mom taught me that in school

00:15:30.560 never hit first but if you hit double yes that's how i'm on jerry

00:15:36.560 but never never hit first honestly i've always followed the policy of equality so uh if a woman hits me

00:15:43.520 then you've just signed a consent form to be hit back that's how my son was raised

00:15:49.360 yeah i have i have no kind of i don't believe equality in that i'm curious from the men from

00:15:55.680 your experience do you think men are abused more or women are abused more just from personal experience

00:16:01.600 not social media not like just from people you know personally that you would believe and trust

00:16:08.000 in my opinion um i think it's 50 50 do you know what i'm saying i can't just say yeah women abuse 1.00

00:16:12.960 more for any ladies there's a lot of men out there don't um say nothing so i say 50 50 you know what

00:16:18.560 i'm saying uh i would say well let's put it this way i know about three or four men who've been

00:16:24.640 you know supposedly being abused and some one or two of them was really really bad and i've known a

00:16:30.320 couple of i've known like one of the girls i've seen like six months ago was really badly abused like

00:16:34.960 was anorexic because of it xyz um personally i i view it more as like a character like you have to

00:16:42.080 be a certain kind of person it's always it's always people who just like have have like look they get

00:16:49.280 into relationships too young they build their personality by being codependent on someone else

00:16:54.160 it's always those kind of the guys who get abused are very like low-key emotional dudes

00:16:58.960 because they'll be telling us somebody like bro you're like six two bro like what you like why can't

00:17:03.120 like you know and he's like no i've got some deep feelings so it's a certain kind of person

00:17:07.840 in my experience i haven't thought about it in terms of like gender i think don't you think it's

00:17:11.920 like oh i'm sorry i'm gonna say i'm gonna say you know like you know like with the mandem

00:17:18.800 just because they're mandem it doesn't mean they they don't go into a relationship and they fall in 0.86

00:17:22.880 love and you know all this happens but i think it's so hard to say who's who's more because the men

00:17:29.520 don't speak up like with like we're speaking here that's the annoying part as well you know

00:17:32.960 the men don't speak up because they they don't want that sometimes they're even afraid to say okay

00:17:36.560 babe i love you bye they're afraid to say i love you but to their girlfriends so imagine speaking about

00:17:42.640 oh she she she hits me at home she scratches my face she tears up my clothes or you know something 1.00

00:17:48.560 but do you know something right it all depends because if a man slapped a woman straight away that's abuse 0.51

00:17:59.520 right but how many women out there and they're slapping the men regularly but nobody's seen 0.81

00:18:07.280 it as abuse but if it was the other way around because i'm sure that somewhere everybody knows

00:18:13.520 someone who like a woman say oh you know i slapped him in his face he was torn i slapped him in his face 0.99

00:18:18.480 or i whacked him around the head or it's always something just like it's nothing when it comes to men

00:18:23.760 but if only because maybe because she's a woman and it's weak so the way it sounds like oh i just

00:18:29.520 slapped him but if it was a man now saying oh i just slapped her because he's a man and everyone's

00:18:36.560 thinking about the force behind it and i and i believe that when it comes to abuse there's more

00:18:42.400 men out there being abused but because they might say oh it's a slap or she's on a period or you know

00:18:48.560 what i mean oh she's got trauma they don't they don't ever report it because they just seen it as

00:18:53.120 a slap i think if a man just gives a woman a slap now because of the slap on the sides of his hand 1.00

00:19:01.440 i don't know because of the strength everybody's gonna see as some major abuse i think i think men

00:19:06.800 don't my honest opinions i think from my experience people i've seen in this situation men don't report

00:19:11.600 it because and you can hate me if you want for saying this they know it's weak in it like like you

00:19:17.440 you fully know that this is pathetic in it like you're literally getting abused by some by some

00:19:22.800 five foot two latino thing and and you you caught feelings you caught feelings so deep that you can't

00:19:28.000 leave and now you're really hurt and in six months you're going to be posting edgy facebook posts about

00:19:32.160 you know love and whatever listen they know it's weak and that's why they don't really come up

00:19:36.320 which is why i say i think it's a character thing the donnies i know who have this experience

00:19:40.720 they're always like the west like it's like you can see it i've had guys say to me like um oh you

00:19:46.640 know i'm in an abusive relationship but i can't leave i just like i can't override my emotions

00:19:51.520 my dad's the same you know sometimes the women in our families and our genes like they just push it 1.00

00:19:56.960 too far but you know the men in our family just like we just can't leave we just fall really deeply

00:20:01.280 in love and xyz and i looked at him i felt really sorry for him because he was it was a good looking

00:20:05.200 guy he was from like yorkshire somewhere like that some village and you know i kind of got it but

00:20:10.560 it's a character in it and these there are people who haven't learned emotional resilience the

00:20:13.840 people who haven't learned independence and they just they just give up any any kind

00:20:18.320 of semblance of self-respect you know and decide that i'm not even gonna fight that but i'll just

00:20:23.040 follow my feelings you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis

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JustPearlyThings - March 15, 2023

Aunty Jenny's message to false accusers

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