JustPearlyThings - April 03, 2023


Aunty Jenny's Thoughts On Men Cheating


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

174.01945

Word Count

1,825

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 think that girls usually and i can say this from having not from my own experience but from friends
00:00:04.900 who go through this uh one of her friends um said to me when we're on facetime um that she
00:00:11.240 had an argument with her boyfriend um and essentially she did it just to see if he would
00:00:17.800 like kind of chase after him facetime her and call her and you know lo and behold 50 no caller id
00:00:24.300 calls um and she said to me well like i don't really want him to be doing that like i want to
00:00:28.860 go after him and i thought it was quite strange because you know you'd think that you'd want
00:00:32.880 someone to come after you and you know chase after but typically you know women are attracted
00:00:36.980 unfortunately to toxicity so yeah but is it not toxic to be harassing someone like that
00:00:43.640 of course that's of course that's toxic um but i'm saying in terms of in terms of the relationship
00:00:51.100 um a lot of time how do i explain it um it's toxic to be harassing someone um but it is
00:00:58.620 also you know toxic to leave someone that you love with no final word which is what she would
00:01:03.720 see that relationship as but for some reason that's what she would gravitate more to than
00:01:08.060 someone that's trying to get her back yeah that's what that's what i meant i'm gonna cut and go you
00:01:13.620 lie to me i'm gone you cheat i'm gone i'm not gonna take back someone that's cheating i ain't going back
00:01:20.340 there even if there's no no no no why no why should i and then you're gonna cheat again they're gonna
00:01:27.600 cheat again okay what if he told you like auntie like i'm the best woman that any man that has
00:01:32.820 ever been with can get right you cheat on me there's not going back i'm moving on but cool what if he
00:01:37.860 told you or like cool i saw us together but i had to go confide in other woman to make me realize
00:01:44.100 that you're the one i'm looking for well keep on going then keep on thinking no if you lied to me
00:01:50.820 from the beginning you have to set the rules down from the beginning and if i have a man you know don't
00:01:55.540 lie to me don't cheat if you lie it's over if you cheat it's over i don't care why it's over
00:02:02.060 finishing no conversation it's done because women will say oh you know if he cheats on me
00:02:08.940 you know and then what he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it again
00:02:12.920 if i told you once it's gone it's finished it's gone and if you cry it's even worse and you're
00:02:17.540 even stupid to believe him if he says he's never gonna do it again but what if he doesn't do it
00:02:21.880 men most probably wouldn't but that's my line my line is like no no i've seen it happen too many
00:02:27.620 times girl goes back cheat some more i would rather just not look like a clown what would you say most
00:02:33.960 girls go back after they get cheated on some not all what percent how many friends do you know that
00:02:39.740 have gotten cheated on uh um all of them no a couple but it was the situation that they had been in so
00:02:52.840 let's say if it involved kids obviously they want to put the kids first you know i mean um no i know
00:02:58.240 there's reasons i'm just curious yeah but i don't think i think after they've been cheated on once they
00:03:03.360 start where i'm such a the type of person i am and the way i handle things obviously the people
00:03:10.920 around me they've done dumb stupid things like i've done stupid things in the past and believe
00:03:16.560 the guy i'm not judging you i'm just asking the question but i just feel like how many how many friends
00:03:21.520 of yours have gotten cheated on a couple so so two three yeah three three and how many stayed with
00:03:28.020 him after he cheated um two two but they've not they're not with them anymore right but it just
00:03:34.940 meant like when they cheated they stayed yeah they stayed with them afterwards but then they left that
00:03:38.540 obviously a year yeah later yeah proves my point
00:03:43.300 um okay uh i like don't even remember the original question because you haven't been down here yet no i know
00:03:54.220 because i was thinking would you remember the question yeah it was something to do with type of
00:03:57.220 men i think it was
00:03:59.540 have you separated from men or how many men have you separated yeah how many how many breakups have
00:04:06.520 you initiated and why so my first one i left but it nearly cost me my life um my second one i
00:04:18.340 it was i was seeing someone and he was seeing other women so that ended um and my third one i was just
00:04:31.100 a huge secret so that ended in november so like his family and friends didn't know about you
00:04:40.040 no okay so you felt like you wanted something more serious and it was more casual for him
00:04:44.660 yeah i think so um it was four years that i was with him so if you don't mind me asking how did you
00:04:52.320 almost lose your life in the first one uh domestic abuse physical abuse um all abuse um
00:05:04.340 yeah i was basically isolated um
00:05:08.680 big question on live tv
00:05:13.260 yeah i have had counseling for it um i've got two beautiful girls um amazing girls he blessed me with
00:05:23.100 those um certainly taught me a lesson a huge one um one that nearly cost me my life um
00:05:29.580 but yeah i was with him for a long time um
00:05:33.360 i don't know why i stayed i think mentally and emotionally i think abusers have a way of
00:05:41.120 the physical disappears the mental and emotional abuse stays um
00:05:48.360 and where i was so isolated from everybody and i think in terms of i only had him and his family so
00:05:57.020 it was quite difficult and i think the good was good the bad was horrific so um
00:06:05.500 were you able to press charges
00:06:07.080 i didn't for a very long time but i don't think i dealt with it and healed from it until years later
00:06:16.620 um in fact it was only up until a few years ago so i finally left in 2010
00:06:22.780 um so 13 years ago and i only really dealt with it and got support for it about five five years ago
00:06:31.120 and dealt with it so i think it was i up and moved the police removed me from my home um it was going
00:06:38.540 to go to court we did go to court um they said i wouldn't see him at court i did see him at court
00:06:43.880 and then that's when i withdrew all my statements so he still got prosecuted i think now they can
00:06:48.420 prosecute um and convict now um but at the time that wasn't the case i think he just he got a fine
00:06:55.060 and probation and community service and stuff like that so um and i think for me they told me i was
00:07:00.460 looking at five years and we had two girls so you wanted him to not that i wanted him back but i
00:07:07.200 just thought for the girls right but now looking back
00:07:10.180 that was the wrong decision i think he's gone on to have multiple abusive relationships since so
00:07:17.360 but um my girls have had nothing to do with him so that's kind of yeah yeah my youngest one did
00:07:23.580 seek him out but he's not changed so um she no longer wants a relationship with him my oldest
00:07:31.340 one remembers too much definitely doesn't want anything to do with him at this stage but i would
00:07:35.780 never not promote that i think that's something that they would need to make a decision for at the
00:07:40.320 time i stopped them from having that relationship for their own safety and mine um i've never stopped
00:07:47.420 it in terms of if he wanted to do it properly and down the legal route um supervised contact
00:07:54.320 absolutely but he's never wanted to take that so um it was all about control and about me so the
00:08:00.240 times that he did have contact with the girls in the early years when i left he would be screaming
00:08:05.400 to and at the girls for them to put me on the phone so it was never really about the girls anyway
00:08:09.500 so so yeah so that was my first one thank you for sharing that um it's okay i'm i'm curious like
00:08:19.640 how many years were you with him before you left was it did you say seven so from the age of 18
00:08:25.900 to 28 oh wow wow that's a long time yeah so just because i'm always just curious like when did you
00:08:35.240 realize he was abusive so it was gradual so after probably about the first eight months seven
00:08:43.380 months eight months um but it was little things can't go out didn't want me to go to work but made
00:08:52.560 it made me feel like it was i was doing something wrong all the time having male friends why have you
00:08:57.380 got so many male friends just yeah it's the isolation it was why are you wearing that that doesn't look
00:09:05.040 nice on you you don't need to wear heels today why have you got makeup on you going to just little
00:09:09.460 things you know i'll come down in something that i want to wear don't really look nice babe why don't
00:09:14.680 go change it little things but then obviously
00:09:19.000 past relationships his own insecurities obviously knowing people that i had had a relationship with
00:09:27.980 previously we could be watching telly it could be anything that triggered him it didn't matter what it
00:09:32.360 was then um but physically yeah about after about seven eight months
00:09:37.740 wow so what what made you stay that long good question good question i don't know okay i don't
00:09:48.160 know the good times were good i think in terms of i don't have any real answer maybe i thought i loved
00:09:55.300 him i thought he loved me um always sorry he would always be sorry for the things that happened and
00:10:02.040 make things up buy things take me out say nice things to me pillow talk i guess if you like um
00:10:10.880 yeah as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
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