Aunty Jenny's Thoughts On Men Cheating
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
174.01945
Summary
In this episode, we talk about cheating and how to deal with it. We also discuss what we would do if we found out that our partner was cheating on us and what we should do about it. We have all been cheated on at some point in our lives and we've all been in situations where we've found out our partner has cheated on us, but what does it really mean to leave a partner who cheats on us?
Transcript
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think that girls usually and i can say this from having not from my own experience but from friends
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who go through this uh one of her friends um said to me when we're on facetime um that she
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had an argument with her boyfriend um and essentially she did it just to see if he would
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like kind of chase after him facetime her and call her and you know lo and behold 50 no caller id
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calls um and she said to me well like i don't really want him to be doing that like i want to
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go after him and i thought it was quite strange because you know you'd think that you'd want
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someone to come after you and you know chase after but typically you know women are attracted
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unfortunately to toxicity so yeah but is it not toxic to be harassing someone like that
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of course that's of course that's toxic um but i'm saying in terms of in terms of the relationship
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um a lot of time how do i explain it um it's toxic to be harassing someone um but it is
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also you know toxic to leave someone that you love with no final word which is what she would
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see that relationship as but for some reason that's what she would gravitate more to than
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someone that's trying to get her back yeah that's what that's what i meant i'm gonna cut and go you
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lie to me i'm gone you cheat i'm gone i'm not gonna take back someone that's cheating i ain't going back
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there even if there's no no no no why no why should i and then you're gonna cheat again they're gonna
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cheat again okay what if he told you like auntie like i'm the best woman that any man that has
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ever been with can get right you cheat on me there's not going back i'm moving on but cool what if he
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told you or like cool i saw us together but i had to go confide in other woman to make me realize
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that you're the one i'm looking for well keep on going then keep on thinking no if you lied to me
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from the beginning you have to set the rules down from the beginning and if i have a man you know don't
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lie to me don't cheat if you lie it's over if you cheat it's over i don't care why it's over
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finishing no conversation it's done because women will say oh you know if he cheats on me
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you know and then what he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it again
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if i told you once it's gone it's finished it's gone and if you cry it's even worse and you're
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even stupid to believe him if he says he's never gonna do it again but what if he doesn't do it
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men most probably wouldn't but that's my line my line is like no no i've seen it happen too many
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times girl goes back cheat some more i would rather just not look like a clown what would you say most
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girls go back after they get cheated on some not all what percent how many friends do you know that
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have gotten cheated on uh um all of them no a couple but it was the situation that they had been in so
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let's say if it involved kids obviously they want to put the kids first you know i mean um no i know
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there's reasons i'm just curious yeah but i don't think i think after they've been cheated on once they
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start where i'm such a the type of person i am and the way i handle things obviously the people
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around me they've done dumb stupid things like i've done stupid things in the past and believe
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the guy i'm not judging you i'm just asking the question but i just feel like how many how many friends
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of yours have gotten cheated on a couple so so two three yeah three three and how many stayed with
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him after he cheated um two two but they've not they're not with them anymore right but it just
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meant like when they cheated they stayed yeah they stayed with them afterwards but then they left that
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obviously a year yeah later yeah proves my point
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um okay uh i like don't even remember the original question because you haven't been down here yet no i know
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because i was thinking would you remember the question yeah it was something to do with type of
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have you separated from men or how many men have you separated yeah how many how many breakups have
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you initiated and why so my first one i left but it nearly cost me my life um my second one i
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it was i was seeing someone and he was seeing other women so that ended um and my third one i was just
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a huge secret so that ended in november so like his family and friends didn't know about you
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no okay so you felt like you wanted something more serious and it was more casual for him
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yeah i think so um it was four years that i was with him so if you don't mind me asking how did you
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almost lose your life in the first one uh domestic abuse physical abuse um all abuse um
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yeah i have had counseling for it um i've got two beautiful girls um amazing girls he blessed me with
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those um certainly taught me a lesson a huge one um one that nearly cost me my life um
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i don't know why i stayed i think mentally and emotionally i think abusers have a way of
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the physical disappears the mental and emotional abuse stays um
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and where i was so isolated from everybody and i think in terms of i only had him and his family so
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it was quite difficult and i think the good was good the bad was horrific so um
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i didn't for a very long time but i don't think i dealt with it and healed from it until years later
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um in fact it was only up until a few years ago so i finally left in 2010
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um so 13 years ago and i only really dealt with it and got support for it about five five years ago
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and dealt with it so i think it was i up and moved the police removed me from my home um it was going
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to go to court we did go to court um they said i wouldn't see him at court i did see him at court
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and then that's when i withdrew all my statements so he still got prosecuted i think now they can
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prosecute um and convict now um but at the time that wasn't the case i think he just he got a fine
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and probation and community service and stuff like that so um and i think for me they told me i was
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looking at five years and we had two girls so you wanted him to not that i wanted him back but i
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just thought for the girls right but now looking back
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that was the wrong decision i think he's gone on to have multiple abusive relationships since so
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but um my girls have had nothing to do with him so that's kind of yeah yeah my youngest one did
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seek him out but he's not changed so um she no longer wants a relationship with him my oldest
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one remembers too much definitely doesn't want anything to do with him at this stage but i would
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never not promote that i think that's something that they would need to make a decision for at the
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time i stopped them from having that relationship for their own safety and mine um i've never stopped
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it in terms of if he wanted to do it properly and down the legal route um supervised contact
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absolutely but he's never wanted to take that so um it was all about control and about me so the
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times that he did have contact with the girls in the early years when i left he would be screaming
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to and at the girls for them to put me on the phone so it was never really about the girls anyway
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so so yeah so that was my first one thank you for sharing that um it's okay i'm i'm curious like
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how many years were you with him before you left was it did you say seven so from the age of 18
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to 28 oh wow wow that's a long time yeah so just because i'm always just curious like when did you
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realize he was abusive so it was gradual so after probably about the first eight months seven
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months eight months um but it was little things can't go out didn't want me to go to work but made
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it made me feel like it was i was doing something wrong all the time having male friends why have you
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got so many male friends just yeah it's the isolation it was why are you wearing that that doesn't look
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nice on you you don't need to wear heels today why have you got makeup on you going to just little
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things you know i'll come down in something that i want to wear don't really look nice babe why don't
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past relationships his own insecurities obviously knowing people that i had had a relationship with
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previously we could be watching telly it could be anything that triggered him it didn't matter what it
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was then um but physically yeah about after about seven eight months
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wow so what what made you stay that long good question good question i don't know okay i don't
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know the good times were good i think in terms of i don't have any real answer maybe i thought i loved
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him i thought he loved me um always sorry he would always be sorry for the things that happened and
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make things up buy things take me out say nice things to me pillow talk i guess if you like um
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yeah as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
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