JustPearlyThings - April 03, 2023


Aunty Jenny's Thoughts On Men Cheating

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
The TRUTH About Modern Women She Tried To Corner Zuby with this Question

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

174.02

Word count

1,825

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged

Toxicity

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about cheating and how to deal with it. We also discuss what we would do if we found out that our partner was cheating on us and what we should do about it. We have all been cheated on at some point in our lives and we've all been in situations where we've found out our partner has cheated on us, but what does it really mean to leave a partner who cheats on us?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 think that girls usually and i can say this from having not from my own experience but from friends
00:00:04.900 who go through this uh one of her friends um said to me when we're on facetime um that she
00:00:11.240 had an argument with her boyfriend um and essentially she did it just to see if he would
00:00:17.800 like kind of chase after him facetime her and call her and you know lo and behold 50 no caller id
00:00:24.300 calls um and she said to me well like i don't really want him to be doing that like i want to
00:00:28.860 go after him and i thought it was quite strange because you know you'd think that you'd want
00:00:32.880 someone to come after you and you know chase after but typically you know women are attracted 1.00
00:00:36.980 unfortunately to toxicity so yeah but is it not toxic to be harassing someone like that
00:00:43.640 of course that's of course that's toxic um but i'm saying in terms of in terms of the relationship
00:00:51.100 um a lot of time how do i explain it um it's toxic to be harassing someone um but it is
00:00:58.620 also you know toxic to leave someone that you love with no final word which is what she would
00:01:03.720 see that relationship as but for some reason that's what she would gravitate more to than
00:01:08.060 someone that's trying to get her back yeah that's what that's what i meant i'm gonna cut and go you
00:01:13.620 lie to me i'm gone you cheat i'm gone i'm not gonna take back someone that's cheating i ain't going back 0.93
00:01:20.340 there even if there's no no no no why no why should i and then you're gonna cheat again they're gonna
00:01:27.600 cheat again okay what if he told you like auntie like i'm the best woman that any man that has
00:01:32.820 ever been with can get right you cheat on me there's not going back i'm moving on but cool what if he
00:01:37.860 told you or like cool i saw us together but i had to go confide in other woman to make me realize 1.00
00:01:44.100 that you're the one i'm looking for well keep on going then keep on thinking no if you lied to me
00:01:50.820 from the beginning you have to set the rules down from the beginning and if i have a man you know don't
00:01:55.540 lie to me don't cheat if you lie it's over if you cheat it's over i don't care why it's over
00:02:02.060 finishing no conversation it's done because women will say oh you know if he cheats on me
00:02:08.940 you know and then what he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it again he's gonna do it again
00:02:12.920 if i told you once it's gone it's finished it's gone and if you cry it's even worse and you're
00:02:17.540 even stupid to believe him if he says he's never gonna do it again but what if he doesn't do it 0.94
00:02:21.880 men most probably wouldn't but that's my line my line is like no no i've seen it happen too many 0.97
00:02:27.620 times girl goes back cheat some more i would rather just not look like a clown what would you say most
00:02:33.960 girls go back after they get cheated on some not all what percent how many friends do you know that 0.63
00:02:39.740 have gotten cheated on uh um all of them no a couple but it was the situation that they had been in so
00:02:52.840 let's say if it involved kids obviously they want to put the kids first you know i mean um no i know
00:02:58.240 there's reasons i'm just curious yeah but i don't think i think after they've been cheated on once they
00:03:03.360 start where i'm such a the type of person i am and the way i handle things obviously the people 0.96
00:03:10.920 around me they've done dumb stupid things like i've done stupid things in the past and believe 0.95
00:03:16.560 the guy i'm not judging you i'm just asking the question but i just feel like how many how many friends 0.99
00:03:21.520 of yours have gotten cheated on a couple so so two three yeah three three and how many stayed with
00:03:28.020 him after he cheated um two two but they've not they're not with them anymore right but it just
00:03:34.940 meant like when they cheated they stayed yeah they stayed with them afterwards but then they left that
00:03:38.540 obviously a year yeah later yeah proves my point
00:03:43.300 um okay uh i like don't even remember the original question because you haven't been down here yet no i know
00:03:54.220 because i was thinking would you remember the question yeah it was something to do with type of
00:03:57.220 men i think it was 0.81
00:03:59.540 have you separated from men or how many men have you separated yeah how many how many breakups have
00:04:06.520 you initiated and why so my first one i left but it nearly cost me my life um my second one i
00:04:18.340 it was i was seeing someone and he was seeing other women so that ended um and my third one i was just
00:04:31.100 a huge secret so that ended in november so like his family and friends didn't know about you
00:04:40.040 no okay so you felt like you wanted something more serious and it was more casual for him
00:04:44.660 yeah i think so um it was four years that i was with him so if you don't mind me asking how did you
00:04:52.320 almost lose your life in the first one uh domestic abuse physical abuse um all abuse um
00:05:04.340 yeah i was basically isolated um
00:05:08.680 big question on live tv
00:05:13.260 yeah i have had counseling for it um i've got two beautiful girls um amazing girls he blessed me with
00:05:23.100 those um certainly taught me a lesson a huge one um one that nearly cost me my life um
00:05:29.580 but yeah i was with him for a long time um
00:05:33.360 i don't know why i stayed i think mentally and emotionally i think abusers have a way of
00:05:41.120 the physical disappears the mental and emotional abuse stays um
00:05:48.360 and where i was so isolated from everybody and i think in terms of i only had him and his family so
00:05:57.020 it was quite difficult and i think the good was good the bad was horrific so um
00:06:05.500 were you able to press charges
00:06:07.080 i didn't for a very long time but i don't think i dealt with it and healed from it until years later
00:06:16.620 um in fact it was only up until a few years ago so i finally left in 2010
00:06:22.780 um so 13 years ago and i only really dealt with it and got support for it about five five years ago
00:06:31.120 and dealt with it so i think it was i up and moved the police removed me from my home um it was going
00:06:38.540 to go to court we did go to court um they said i wouldn't see him at court i did see him at court
00:06:43.880 and then that's when i withdrew all my statements so he still got prosecuted i think now they can
00:06:48.420 prosecute um and convict now um but at the time that wasn't the case i think he just he got a fine
00:06:55.060 and probation and community service and stuff like that so um and i think for me they told me i was
00:07:00.460 looking at five years and we had two girls so you wanted him to not that i wanted him back but i
00:07:07.200 just thought for the girls right but now looking back
00:07:10.180 that was the wrong decision i think he's gone on to have multiple abusive relationships since so
00:07:17.360 but um my girls have had nothing to do with him so that's kind of yeah yeah my youngest one did
00:07:23.580 seek him out but he's not changed so um she no longer wants a relationship with him my oldest
00:07:31.340 one remembers too much definitely doesn't want anything to do with him at this stage but i would
00:07:35.780 never not promote that i think that's something that they would need to make a decision for at the
00:07:40.320 time i stopped them from having that relationship for their own safety and mine um i've never stopped
00:07:47.420 it in terms of if he wanted to do it properly and down the legal route um supervised contact
00:07:54.320 absolutely but he's never wanted to take that so um it was all about control and about me so the
00:08:00.240 times that he did have contact with the girls in the early years when i left he would be screaming
00:08:05.400 to and at the girls for them to put me on the phone so it was never really about the girls anyway
00:08:09.500 so so yeah so that was my first one thank you for sharing that um it's okay i'm i'm curious like
00:08:19.640 how many years were you with him before you left was it did you say seven so from the age of 18
00:08:25.900 to 28 oh wow wow that's a long time yeah so just because i'm always just curious like when did you
00:08:35.240 realize he was abusive so it was gradual so after probably about the first eight months seven
00:08:43.380 months eight months um but it was little things can't go out didn't want me to go to work but made
00:08:52.560 it made me feel like it was i was doing something wrong all the time having male friends why have you
00:08:57.380 got so many male friends just yeah it's the isolation it was why are you wearing that that doesn't look
00:09:05.040 nice on you you don't need to wear heels today why have you got makeup on you going to just little
00:09:09.460 things you know i'll come down in something that i want to wear don't really look nice babe why don't
00:09:14.680 go change it little things but then obviously
00:09:19.000 past relationships his own insecurities obviously knowing people that i had had a relationship with
00:09:27.980 previously we could be watching telly it could be anything that triggered him it didn't matter what it
00:09:32.360 was then um but physically yeah about after about seven eight months
00:09:37.740 wow so what what made you stay that long good question good question i don't know okay i don't
00:09:48.160 know the good times were good i think in terms of i don't have any real answer maybe i thought i loved
00:09:55.300 him i thought he loved me um always sorry he would always be sorry for the things that happened and
00:10:02.040 make things up buy things take me out say nice things to me pillow talk i guess if you like um
00:10:10.880 yeah as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis
00:10:19.080 on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below every donation helps
00:10:26.760 and it helps make what we do possible