JustPearlyThings - May 29, 2023


Based Woman SCHOOLS Women On Male Nature


Episode Stats


Length

5 minutes

Words per minute

225.94356

Word count

1,329

Sentence count

105

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

2

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss whether or not we should be friends with our male friends and if it's better to be friends or not. We also talk about the benefits of being friends with a male friend and how to deal with a situation where you can't have sex with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 But I think when you're both like in a relationship, say he's married and I'm married, I think maybe that's different because I prefer it because I've had actually an example of a male friend and we were really good friends.
00:00:13.560 And it just got to a point where, I mean, he did express that he felt something in that sense towards me.
00:00:19.620 And it obviously made it awkward because I was also friends with his wife.
00:00:23.900 And I kind of just said.
00:00:24.600 Oh, he said that while he was married?
00:00:26.160 Yeah.
00:00:26.840 Wow.
00:00:27.840 He did a Pamela. 0.98
00:00:28.580 So we've kind of cut the contact now.
00:00:31.600 But, you know, I kind of said before, actually, do you know what, in the situation before he said that, we can't just be friends, you and I.
00:00:37.900 It's either like we're friends as couples or not at all kind of thing.
00:00:41.760 And he didn't want to be friends as couples because he actually felt uncomfortable with me around his wife because he felt an attraction towards me.
00:00:49.360 So that kind of messed up the friendship there.
00:00:52.180 So I think that, yeah, I think it's OK.
00:00:54.420 Like if you're friends with a guy, but he's got a wife and you're friends with a wife and he's friends with your husband, like that sort of thing.
00:01:00.860 Like as a woman, I feel like to make the other women comfortable, like you always just need to make ties with her. 0.93
00:01:06.880 Like even with my friend, with his girls, like I've always been that girl who's like, oh, like, hey, like, if we're chilling together, like say we're at a drink cup or something, I'm going to go to her.
00:01:15.320 I'm going to chill with her.
00:01:16.280 I'm going to see how she's doing.
00:01:17.700 Like leave him for a second.
00:01:19.380 It's a respect thing.
00:01:20.600 Yeah.
00:01:21.000 It's a respect that, look, I'm not a threat to you.
00:01:23.340 Exactly.
00:01:23.660 I want you to know that I'm not a threat to you.
00:01:25.300 And I think if your friend who you friend zone, let's say, for example, yeah, OK, if I gave you a window, you would jump through the window.
00:01:33.280 But understand I'm never giving you a window.
00:01:35.440 So if you are happy to settle for that, then that's up to you.
00:01:39.500 That's your decision.
00:01:40.380 You have to be accountable for that.
00:01:42.160 And you have to respect me and my partner.
00:01:43.840 And if there's any tinge of disrespect, you've got to go.
00:01:47.260 Yeah, I agree.
00:01:48.480 As long as that person is, because I feel like some guys will try to slightly just like throw shade on your relationship.
00:01:53.960 And at the moment that happens, it's like, no, we can't be friends.
00:01:56.560 But also it makes me think like, would they just sleep with you?
00:02:01.400 Because say they would sleep with anyone who's like attractive.
00:02:07.040 And so if you come on to them, why would they say no if you're a friend or not?
00:02:12.100 Because they would sleep with someone who's attractive who they don't know.
00:02:15.740 You know what?
00:02:16.400 Maybe it's not just because it's you.
00:02:17.760 Or sometimes they'll sleep with someone who's not attractive.
00:02:19.180 Some men will just sleep with you. 1.00
00:02:19.960 Maybe it's not just because you're friends with them.
00:02:21.920 But if they've never seen you like that, and then you turn to them and say that to them,
00:02:26.760 why would they turn it down?
00:02:27.900 Because they would do it on a night out anyway.
00:02:29.900 Nah, I feel like that's a little bit naive.
00:02:31.960 I think, obviously men are very visual, in my opinion, men are visual creatures, right?
00:02:36.280 They are visual.
00:02:37.220 And if you look good, then, you know, it's potential blood can be rushed into places.
00:02:41.280 But ultimately you look good and they acknowledge that you look good.
00:02:43.900 But if you couple that, especially in today's society where substance is so dwindled,
00:02:48.340 if you know what I mean, women, some women tend to not have any substance or any depth to them. 1.00
00:02:54.180 So if they're your friend, you're already cool, so that's one element.
00:02:58.060 You've probably got a good head on your shoulders, which is another element.
00:03:01.160 There are things about you that they know that probably are more attractive, if that makes sense.
00:03:07.480 No, they don't need all that just to sleep with you, though.
00:03:09.320 No, they don't.
00:03:10.280 But then they wouldn't need to.
00:03:11.680 But why are they?
00:03:12.880 Maybe not why are they friends?
00:03:13.880 Yeah, why are they friends with you?
00:03:15.040 There's a reason why you're friends.
00:03:16.280 You have a connection.
00:03:17.120 It might not necessarily be a sexual connection.
00:03:18.680 Are we best friends or are we just friends?
00:03:20.980 Because I'm friends with a lot of people.
00:03:22.900 So it doesn't have to be on like a deep, rooted level.
00:03:27.140 Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you.
00:03:28.520 But then I guess, I don't know, for me, the friend, I don't use the term friend loosely.
00:03:34.220 You can be an associate, that's okay.
00:03:35.760 You can be a colleague, that's okay.
00:03:37.480 You can be just somebody who I know in passing, that's okay.
00:03:40.300 If I call you a friend, we're deeper level than that.
00:03:42.760 You can come to my home.
00:03:43.580 You can be around my kids.
00:03:44.380 You can be around my partner, that's okay.
00:03:46.200 An associate, you can't come into my house as an associate because there's different levels to it.
00:03:50.220 But I have heard, should I say like friend boys of mine or like acquaintances of mine, say they started talking to a long-term friend of theirs, like in a different way.
00:04:02.580 And then they would be like, funny, I've never looked at her that way.
00:04:06.260 I've heard that before.
00:04:08.860 I have.
00:04:10.100 But the moment she says, come over, I'm a bit randy.
00:04:14.200 But it didn't happen like that.
00:04:17.080 It didn't.
00:04:17.980 It started like with them talking.
00:04:19.580 Did they end up hooking up?
00:04:22.200 Yeah, ended up being boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:04:24.040 Oh, so, you know, then he did look at her like that.
00:04:26.600 But not at the beginning.
00:04:27.520 Exactly.
00:04:27.860 I think that what she's, I agree with what she's saying because it's like, at the end of the day, you can be in a relationship with someone or you can end up getting with someone that you've been friends with, but it would not have started off like that.
00:04:38.740 Like they could have seen you in a whole different light.
00:04:40.640 But until you actually put it out there, they didn't think twice about it.
00:04:44.040 Like before it would have been like, oh yeah, this is my boy.
00:04:46.340 Well, I'm with my partner.
00:04:47.560 We were friends for several years before we got together.
00:04:49.900 And I did ask him, you know, did you ever look at me that way type of thing?
00:04:53.240 And he will say, well, no, because I was in a relationship and he was trying to keep himself looking on his good behavior in that sense.
00:05:00.480 But the more and more I delve like, yeah, but did you ever find me attractive or whatever?
00:05:04.420 Then obviously he will go, well, yeah, obviously I found you attractive.
00:05:07.240 I think it's more like maybe he didn't see an opportunity.
00:05:10.740 Yeah.
00:05:10.980 And then she gave him signals.
00:05:12.940 So do you guys think that every single male in your life that you're not related to has looked at you like that?
00:05:18.660 Yeah.
00:05:19.420 Maybe.
00:05:19.960 I mean, whether they have or whether they haven't, if you offer it up, they're going to take it.
00:05:23.680 Facts.
00:05:24.180 But what if they don't?
00:05:25.640 No, but they would.
00:05:27.180 Every single man.
00:05:28.320 Try, try your phone.
00:05:29.260 I guarantee you.
00:05:29.820 Yeah, please, please try.
00:05:31.220 You're going to get in trouble with your boyfriend.
00:05:33.260 Oh, sorry, sorry, for real.
00:05:35.180 This is with someone.
00:05:36.420 But, well, and it's funny too, because if you ask guys about this, like they'll tell you.
00:05:45.180 Like they know how, like, haven't you ever heard a guy say, I know how men think?
00:05:48.120 Yeah.
00:05:50.200 I'm going to read Super Chats and then we're going to watch a video.