JustPearlyThings - June 12, 2023


Bitter Feminist Is Silenced By This Question...


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

212.47421

Word count

2,128

Sentence count

231

Harmful content

Misogyny

25

sentences flagged

Hate speech

18

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about cheating in relationships and how to deal with it. We also have a special guest who is a step-parent to one of our kids. We discuss the pros and cons of cheating in a relationship and what should be done about it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 They don't keep families together.
00:00:01.420 You be out here, auntie is fucking that uncle, 1.00
00:00:03.720 sleeping with that uncle, different uncles.
00:00:05.280 Nah, they do keep people together.
00:00:06.380 They sleep with different uncles,
00:00:07.360 but they all come together and say,
00:00:08.460 hi, praise the Lord, hi, family.
00:00:09.940 Yeah, because they understand that,
00:00:11.560 they understand that personal life is personal life,
00:00:15.140 but family life is more important than any other issue.
00:00:16.800 Yeah, but I think people need to be realistic and be like...
00:00:19.500 No, it's not about being realistic.
00:00:20.680 They have to be...
00:00:21.160 It's about being practical for your family.
00:00:23.380 If you stay with your wife, you stay with your partner, 1.00
00:00:26.120 your kids have a better chance in life.
00:00:27.460 Okay, let me ask you a question.
00:00:28.580 Yeah, let's go.
00:00:29.040 If you had a daughter right now,
00:00:31.480 and she got married to Zimbabwe man,
00:00:33.080 and he is cheating on another next woman,
00:00:35.820 would you ask her to stay?
00:00:37.360 If she's married, yeah.
00:00:38.820 You would ask your daughter?
00:00:40.020 If she's married, yes.
00:00:41.880 But why?
00:00:42.760 Okay, let's say he's abusing her physically. 0.67
00:00:44.720 Would you ask her to stay?
00:00:45.820 No, that's abuse physically.
00:00:47.180 She should go to the police and get that man arrested.
00:00:49.260 You wouldn't do nothing about it?
00:00:50.540 No.
00:00:50.780 As a Zimbabwe man?
00:00:52.100 She'll go to the police and get out. 1.00
00:00:53.520 No, now I know.
00:00:54.920 As a Zimbabwe man.
00:00:56.360 I know Zimbabwe man.
00:00:57.120 But why would you tell us that they protect their family,
00:01:01.220 that you wouldn't sit back and take that?
00:01:03.020 You know, I'll protect my family, yeah.
00:01:04.080 My father protects me.
00:01:05.060 I can't lie.
00:01:05.380 I'll protect my family, yeah.
00:01:07.120 But if it's just cheating without physical abuse,
00:01:10.460 she made that choice to be with that person.
00:01:12.760 Yeah.
00:01:12.840 If they committed those vows in front of God as a Christian, I believe,
00:01:16.860 then you should stay and work it out.
00:01:18.420 Wow.
00:01:18.660 She'll come to my house.
00:01:19.860 We'll do counseling between you two, and we'll work it out.
00:01:22.680 But what if he doesn't change?
00:01:25.040 Well, she made that choice to be with that person.
00:01:28.300 As long as he doesn't leave, he should stay.
00:01:30.360 Modern women pick guys that cheat. 1.00
00:01:34.900 They pick guys that everybody knows cheats.
00:01:36.840 They pick guys with kids with other women, 0.97
00:01:38.740 and then they're surprised when he cheats.
00:01:40.740 What did you think was going to happen?
00:01:42.500 Every man cheats.
00:01:42.980 Modern, okay.
00:01:44.060 Every man.
00:01:44.940 No, it's the men you pick.
00:01:46.360 No, it's all the men.
00:01:47.320 No, it's the men you pick.
00:01:48.660 Not all men cheat.
00:01:50.360 Okay, maybe like 10%.
00:01:52.460 Okay, why are the men that cheat picking you?
00:01:55.580 I don't know.
00:01:57.100 So it says more about you than it does about them,
00:01:59.960 because there's a lot of guys that don't cheat.
00:02:01.560 There's a lot of guys that are loyal.
00:02:02.980 If they're not picking you, then you have to ask why.
00:02:05.080 Oh, and then let's not forget,
00:02:06.180 they don't pick us.
00:02:08.280 We've got a selection.
00:02:09.360 We've got an option.
00:02:09.900 We've got plenty on the table,
00:02:11.280 and we've picked what we've won.
00:02:12.920 Yes, Fristar.
00:02:13.220 Yes, we're up to the one picking.
00:02:14.600 Okay, if you say that,
00:02:15.400 so you came from a step-parent household,
00:02:18.560 and you made the choice to put your kids
00:02:21.280 into a step-parent household.
00:02:23.440 Where's a step-parent?
00:02:24.620 You.
00:02:25.640 You said your partner has two other kids.
00:02:27.580 Yeah, but I chose to accept them,
00:02:29.520 because I went through certain things when I was younger.
00:02:32.860 But you're pretty much putting yourself
00:02:33.980 in the same situation.
00:02:34.960 You made that choice.
00:02:36.060 I would imagine you coming from a choice
00:02:37.920 where it didn't work out between a step-parent
00:02:40.340 and you wouldn't want that for your children,
00:02:41.700 but you made the choice to go into that same situation.
00:02:44.780 And you didn't even marry.
00:02:45.940 There's no commitment.
00:02:47.100 I mean, in a way...
00:02:48.300 I feel like there's nothing wrong
00:02:49.320 with accepting someone else's kids.
00:02:51.720 There's nothing wrong with that.
00:02:52.640 There's nothing wrong.
00:02:53.400 I agree.
00:02:54.100 I know there's nothing wrong with that,
00:02:55.900 but for you, for your situation,
00:02:58.340 just looking at where you're coming from,
00:03:00.040 why would you make that choice?
00:03:01.880 Because my step-mom didn't love me,
00:03:04.560 so I'm going to show love to another child.
00:03:06.620 And I love them extremely.
00:03:09.060 But what if your partner...
00:03:09.660 But if it doesn't work out, then you leave.
00:03:11.420 Yeah, then you leave, yeah.
00:03:12.360 It doesn't matter,
00:03:12.880 but I'll still have them in my life.
00:03:14.100 No matter what,
00:03:14.660 I always make sure they're okay.
00:03:15.840 You know it's not the same.
00:03:17.160 No, it is literally the same.
00:03:20.440 No, it's not the same.
00:03:21.260 I've been in those kids' lives...
00:03:22.080 So you're telling me
00:03:23.060 if you guys break up
00:03:24.300 and he picks someone new,
00:03:25.840 that you're going to have
00:03:26.480 the same relationship with the...
00:03:28.200 Yeah, they're still my children's brother
00:03:30.560 and sisters.
00:03:31.520 Do you get what I mean?
00:03:32.060 So they're still that bond.
00:03:33.100 No matter what,
00:03:33.980 I will always love those kids.
00:03:35.620 Yeah, but his point is that
00:03:36.940 you see the problems
00:03:37.860 that came with that situation
00:03:38.960 and you still picked it.
00:03:40.040 So a lot of times, like,
00:03:41.160 as women,
00:03:41.720 we complain about situations
00:03:42.860 that we picked.
00:03:43.640 And then we get,
00:03:44.780 what, surprised that, like,
00:03:45.840 we're in the same situation
00:03:47.420 that we picked.
00:03:49.740 It's like a guy will cheat on us
00:03:51.740 when we're dating,
00:03:52.400 then we'll have a kid
00:03:53.080 and then whine about cheating.
00:03:54.260 Well, then why'd you have a kid?
00:03:56.360 So do you expect us
00:03:57.160 to get rid of the child?
00:03:58.040 I'm not talking about you guys.
00:03:59.740 I'm saying women in general
00:04:01.120 will pick men that cheat.
00:04:02.940 They'll know that they cheat.
00:04:05.120 So oftentimes,
00:04:06.000 they'll get cheated on
00:04:06.740 when they're dating.
00:04:07.960 And then they have a kid together
00:04:09.380 and then whine about the cheating.
00:04:10.660 But he cheated before.
00:04:11.760 So why is it now a problem
00:04:12.880 after you have children?
00:04:14.020 So is that when you know
00:04:15.300 the man cheats
00:04:15.920 or when you don't know
00:04:16.820 the man cheats
00:04:17.280 and you find out?
00:04:17.780 No, you say when the man does cheat.
00:04:18.520 I'm saying, like,
00:04:20.300 women will go after entertainers, 1.00
00:04:22.040 they'll go after rappers,
00:04:23.420 athletes,
00:04:23.780 and then get,
00:04:24.360 I'm not talking about you,
00:04:25.400 but they'll get shocked
00:04:26.380 that he cheats.
00:04:27.900 But it's like,
00:04:28.820 you went for that type of guy.
00:04:30.100 They'll go for the best-looking guy
00:04:31.540 and then get surprised
00:04:33.120 when he cheats.
00:04:33.820 But even the best-looking guys,
00:04:35.600 even if you don't get with them,
00:04:37.160 they can still cheat.
00:04:38.600 Yeah.
00:04:39.140 You get with them
00:04:40.020 and they cheat.
00:04:40.640 They think.
00:04:41.400 Most women, 0.99
00:04:41.940 let's be real.
00:04:42.440 One out of three men
00:04:43.260 are sexless.
00:04:44.240 So one out of three men
00:04:45.040 are either virgins
00:04:45.720 or haven't had sex
00:04:46.440 in the past year.
00:04:47.560 You find 20,
00:04:48.520 only 20% of men
00:04:49.860 you guys find attractive.
00:04:50.940 80% of men you find ugly.
00:04:53.000 So if women pick cheaters, 1.00
00:04:54.460 it's because they go for a guy
00:04:55.800 that's out of their league.
00:04:58.060 Because women that are 1.00
00:04:59.000 fours, fives, and sixes
00:05:00.360 sleep with eight, nines, and tens,
00:05:02.080 maybe get a kid off of him, 0.58
00:05:03.420 and then he cheats
00:05:04.220 because they're not
00:05:04.760 on the same level.
00:05:06.460 Oh, no.
00:05:07.240 I'm not talking about you.
00:05:08.600 Oh, God.
00:05:10.780 Let me know.
00:05:12.440 I'm not talking about you guys,
00:05:15.740 but I'm saying,
00:05:16.400 like, women find 0.99
00:05:16.940 80% of men is ugly.
00:05:18.760 Most men aren't 0.86
00:05:19.400 getting laid like that. 0.60
00:05:20.400 So if you're getting cheaters,
00:05:21.500 it's because you pick cheaters.
00:05:23.360 I agree.
00:05:24.340 I do.
00:05:26.400 That's my weakness.
00:05:29.700 It's a little adventurous.
00:05:31.240 I can't lie.
00:05:34.300 So how is that,
00:05:35.440 like, a Zimbabwean culture?
00:05:36.440 That's got nothing to do with Zimbabweans.
00:05:37.600 Oh, God.
00:05:37.920 Here we go.
00:05:38.140 That's what she's asking me
00:05:39.200 and I'm answering directly.
00:05:40.340 Me, I'm just known for the idea
00:05:42.100 of Zimbabwean.
00:05:42.700 They cheat.
00:05:42.760 They drink too much.
00:05:43.700 They don't know how to
00:05:44.480 hold the job down.
00:05:45.460 They have that woman 0.98
00:05:46.240 anti-anti-anti-anti.
00:05:47.220 They're sleeping with everybody.
00:05:48.140 They don't cheat.
00:05:48.560 You're generalizing
00:05:49.260 the whole nation.
00:05:50.100 Once they work on how to...
00:05:53.060 How much time have you
00:05:53.800 spent in Zimbabwean?
00:05:57.400 Like 10...
00:05:58.400 10 years.
00:05:59.540 Okay, you spent 10 years there.
00:06:01.260 Yeah.
00:06:02.100 You came when you were 10 here.
00:06:03.160 Yeah.
00:06:03.760 That's good enough.
00:06:04.880 And you knew a lot about, like,
00:06:06.120 cheating under the age of 10?
00:06:07.400 When I...
00:06:07.800 Yeah, when...
00:06:08.440 I saw quite a lot
00:06:09.620 that I would not even bring up.
00:06:11.900 No, stop.
00:06:13.040 Sharon.
00:06:14.000 Wow.
00:06:14.320 I wouldn't even bring it up
00:06:14.800 because I'm going to get done for that.
00:06:16.460 No, we don't want you getting cancelled.
00:06:19.180 I'm not bringing up gossip over here.
00:06:20.660 No, let me not do that.
00:06:22.820 But, yeah,
00:06:24.000 when I went back,
00:06:25.240 like,
00:06:25.540 I was asking my grandma
00:06:26.580 about certain things,
00:06:27.500 like relationships and that,
00:06:28.540 and, you know,
00:06:29.020 because I was preparing myself
00:06:29.880 for marriage,
00:06:30.920 for the traditional marriage and stuff.
00:06:32.700 And I was like,
00:06:33.360 okay, grandma,
00:06:33.980 like, you know,
00:06:34.600 if your man is cheating on you,
00:06:37.240 what should you do?
00:06:38.480 Hey, you have to stay.
00:06:40.160 Wow.
00:06:40.860 If the man is beating you,
00:06:42.560 you have to stay.
00:06:43.960 I was like,
00:06:44.880 oh, wow.
00:06:45.960 Yes.
00:06:46.280 And, you know,
00:06:46.680 they all gather,
00:06:47.620 like, in a group
00:06:48.380 and they're telling you,
00:06:49.080 oh, you know,
00:06:49.540 you should do this for your man.
00:06:50.540 You should do this.
00:06:50.920 I was like, okay,
00:06:51.440 so what should the man do for me?
00:06:52.900 They have nothing to say.
00:06:55.120 The man provides for you.
00:06:56.940 He protects and provides.
00:06:58.160 What is he protecting?
00:06:59.840 Um,
00:07:00.120 if someone breaks into your house.
00:07:01.300 If someone's breaking the house,
00:07:02.460 am I not the one
00:07:03.280 that's going to go outside
00:07:03.940 to beat the person
00:07:04.840 because the man is not home
00:07:05.760 because he's out here
00:07:06.280 cheating and drinking?
00:07:07.940 True.
00:07:08.500 He ain't home.
00:07:09.960 You're saying all the Zim men 1.00
00:07:11.640 are cheating and drinking.
00:07:12.740 Most of these men.
00:07:14.300 If you don't know about Zimbabweans yet.
00:07:16.480 I do.
00:07:17.480 What are you talking about?
00:07:18.660 We have that.
00:07:20.140 You know we've got that stigma.
00:07:20.860 I know.
00:07:21.120 My old,
00:07:22.520 my old,
00:07:23.100 I've had multiple people work for me
00:07:24.980 that are from Zimbabwe.
00:07:26.460 There's a stigma.
00:07:28.220 None of them were alcoholics.
00:07:29.160 What's happening right now
00:07:30.760 is that the girls are spreading, 0.86
00:07:32.800 the loudest girls 1.00
00:07:33.780 are spreading this false narrative
00:07:35.780 and saying that Zimbabwean men
00:07:37.080 are cheating.
00:07:37.780 You just went home
00:07:38.660 to your elders, right?
00:07:40.320 And what did they tell you?
00:07:41.340 If something happens,
00:07:42.180 you stay.
00:07:42.800 You chose not to listen
00:07:43.780 to advice of your elders.
00:07:45.020 So who do you go for
00:07:45.960 for counsel in your life?
00:07:47.060 I've got nobody
00:07:47.600 that I go to counsel for
00:07:48.500 in my life.
00:07:48.980 I don't think that
00:07:49.700 anyone who lives on earth
00:07:52.480 needs someone to go for
00:07:53.420 for guidance.
00:07:54.040 If you're just living
00:07:54.520 your life like this,
00:07:55.720 then your actions
00:07:56.900 do reflect.
00:07:57.680 I don't think we can
00:07:58.420 trust your opinion
00:07:59.220 that all Zimbabwean men
00:08:00.080 are trash.
00:08:00.740 Well,
00:08:01.240 you can ask other women
00:08:02.700 that are not Zimbabweans
00:08:03.900 about that.
00:08:04.520 Which other women? 1.00
00:08:05.320 Because I'm sure
00:08:05.880 there's other cultures
00:08:06.660 that,
00:08:07.040 I mean there's other
00:08:07.700 And they'll say
00:08:08.200 that Zimbabwean men
00:08:08.820 are trash.
00:08:09.340 But it's crazy
00:08:10.000 because
00:08:10.200 Yeah.
00:08:10.620 Where?
00:08:11.260 Yeah.
00:08:12.300 You guys demonize
00:08:13.700 traditional cultures
00:08:14.840 when traditional cultures
00:08:15.860 have better outcomes.
00:08:16.820 They have more children,
00:08:17.680 they have happier women,
00:08:18.520 they have less STDs,
00:08:19.600 they have less abortions.
00:08:20.600 Like every statistical
00:08:21.800 outcome that you can look at
00:08:23.260 is better from
00:08:23.960 traditional relationships.
00:08:26.060 I agree on the abortion part. 0.89
00:08:27.600 Yeah.
00:08:27.960 That one,
00:08:28.380 that's the one I agree with.
00:08:29.480 There's less abortions. 0.67
00:08:30.620 Absolutely.
00:08:30.920 But the woman is suffering
00:08:31.940 in silence.
00:08:32.940 But why?
00:08:34.160 But that's,
00:08:34.700 that's not true.
00:08:36.360 No,
00:08:36.700 I'm not saying all.
00:08:37.960 I'm saying like
00:08:38.780 there are some,
00:08:39.840 like,
00:08:40.420 you know,
00:08:40.660 there are some that do suffer.
00:08:42.300 Yeah.
00:08:42.780 And there's some that,
00:08:43.800 you know,
00:08:43.940 the relationships,
00:08:44.820 the women in the West
00:08:46.480 are on antidepressants.
00:08:47.780 They're fat.
00:08:49.000 The average woman's 0.98
00:08:49.660 like 165 pounds,
00:08:51.380 170 pounds.
00:08:52.860 That's fat.
00:08:54.780 Whoa.
00:08:55.380 I'm not part of this conversation.
00:08:57.440 It's overweight.
00:08:58.420 I ain't getting dragged for this.
00:09:00.520 Hello,
00:09:00.980 Zimbabwean women are fat. 1.00
00:09:03.100 Well,
00:09:03.660 I was going to say something
00:09:04.800 that was going to be real.
00:09:05.500 I'm not even saying anything.
00:09:06.240 Okay.
00:09:06.600 I don't want to say it.
00:09:08.060 No,
00:09:08.300 no,
00:09:08.380 no,
00:09:08.580 no,
00:09:08.760 no,
00:09:08.900 no,
00:09:09.080 no,
00:09:09.400 no.
00:09:10.000 You can't say that.
00:09:10.780 You have to,
00:09:11.180 you know why you have to be respectful?
00:09:12.160 Because let's look at our family.
00:09:14.780 Yeah,
00:09:15.200 but by law,
00:09:16.000 Zimbabwean women are fat. 1.00
00:09:17.420 By law?
00:09:18.220 And they celebrate that.
00:09:19.600 The fatness.
00:09:20.340 By law?
00:09:20.740 Since when?
00:09:21.780 Zimbabwe.
00:09:22.280 I don't know about this culture.
00:09:23.600 I don't know about this practice.
00:09:24.500 If Zimbabwe men are cheating,
00:09:26.800 who are they cheating with? 0.81
00:09:28.960 The skinny women. 0.99
00:09:29.680 Okay,
00:09:31.560 so it's the women. 1.00
00:09:33.060 The skinny women. 0.99
00:09:34.000 Right?
00:09:34.400 It's the women. 1.00
00:09:34.960 They're cheating with the men, 1.00
00:09:35.980 right?
00:09:36.420 Why is it the men?
00:09:37.140 Why is it not the women? 1.00
00:09:39.660 You'd be surprised.
00:09:41.480 They have to be able to cheat with somebody.
00:09:43.520 Mm-hmm.
00:09:44.400 So why do you blame the men?
00:09:45.820 I blame the men because of how I was raised,
00:09:47.500 like I said in the beginning,
00:09:48.880 you know,
00:09:49.380 the way I think of Zimbabwe men
00:09:51.200 is directly reflected on how
00:09:53.060 Zimbabwe men in my life
00:09:55.060 have treated me
00:09:56.100 and people around me,
00:09:57.980 my other family members.
00:09:59.220 That's basically it.
00:10:00.740 Yeah.