JustPearlyThings - June 05, 2023


Brittany Renner Admits This About Herself


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

200.18109

Word count

1,695

Sentence count

96

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Toxicity

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about growing up in a dual parent household and how that affected our relationships with our parents and how it shaped us into the women we are today. We also talk about the importance of a good relationship with a partner and how important it is to have a partner in your life.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 From your perspective, Brittany, how was it for you, correct me if I'm wrong, you grew
00:00:07.760 up with just your mother. 0.67
00:00:10.020 So I was raised by my mom until about like nine, and then my grandma kind of took over.
00:00:16.620 So when I was growing up, I thought my mom just didn't want to be around, but my grandma
00:00:19.800 was really controlling.
00:00:20.840 It was basically like, I'm the mom now.
00:00:22.880 So like she kicked my mom out, and my grandma was my caretaker, my grandma and grandpa.
00:00:27.380 So I was raised by my grandparents the other half of my life.
00:00:31.260 Okay, how was that for you in terms of just learning how to be a woman whenever you reached 0.96
00:00:37.860 that point?
00:00:38.840 I felt like a lot of their ideas were just really outdated.
00:00:44.620 I felt like they were really strict, and it was smothering.
00:00:47.660 So even just going to a simple party or going to a friend's house, like as an adult, do I
00:00:52.940 see why maybe parents aren't so quick to let you go over to someone's house?
00:00:56.460 Yes, but it was to a place where you couldn't even explore.
00:01:00.440 I didn't really learn too much from my grandma about being a wife or how to be in a relationship 0.92
00:01:07.820 because I always felt like they just tolerated each other.
00:01:10.520 I never really saw the love, like the bond.
00:01:15.360 I've never really seen that.
00:01:17.540 It's just always something I've known to be true, but I've never seen anybody do it.
00:01:21.800 So I felt like my grandma was trying to get me to cook and do little stuff like that,
00:01:25.920 but it just was never something I really took an interest in.
00:01:29.400 I genuinely never felt like I belonged in the kitchen.
00:01:33.180 And that's where, too, I resented my thought process a lot growing up because I'm like,
00:01:40.980 why can't I just be a little bit more simple, a little bit more obedient, maybe a more agreeable,
00:01:45.160 not have such a strong opinion, not be so introspective?
00:01:49.120 That's just where I'm just different.
00:01:50.740 So I feel like my grandma tried to teach me maybe how to cook, but as far as catering to
00:01:54.900 a man, no.
00:01:55.900 I learned everything on the fly.
00:01:58.860 And that's where I think sometimes maybe I get a little frustrated with the internet's
00:02:03.760 perspective because I'm like, you don't even know what I've had to go through to even
00:02:07.060 be able to speak with this awareness.
00:02:09.720 Like, I've had to bump my head so many times to just be able to sit in my car and tell you,
00:02:15.400 give you a sermon, you know?
00:02:16.660 So I just never felt like I really was prepared to be a wife ever, genuinely.
00:02:24.260 And you're not alone.
00:02:25.160 I think a lot of girls feel like that. 0.57
00:02:27.180 Like, I mean, how many, I don't think the stuff that we talk about on these podcasts would
00:02:31.300 be so shocking if women weren't lied to for 50 years. 1.00
00:02:35.180 Yeah.
00:02:35.680 And I think it's like, even talking to Andrew today, like, wasn't it helpful?
00:02:39.220 Like, when he was talking about stuff, I was, even me, and I listened to this stuff all
00:02:43.080 the time.
00:02:43.440 I was like, oh, I never thought of that.
00:02:45.680 Like, when he was talking about how to get a guy to stop playing video games, I was like,
00:02:48.560 I wish I knew this!
00:02:52.260 I was like, wow.
00:02:53.680 Yeah, that's actually a good one.
00:02:55.420 Why don't you think about it?
00:02:56.960 I want to try it.
00:02:58.000 Do you think that coming from a two-parent home and it's like a loving environment, it's
00:03:05.360 for everybody, that it sets you up more for success to be able to operate in relationships
00:03:12.520 or be willing to submit to whoever the man is because you've seen it growing up?
00:03:18.980 Or does it just, does it not have an effect?
00:03:21.400 I think that's a really great question.
00:03:23.060 I know a lot of people who grew up in dual-parent households and they saw their mother getting
00:03:29.040 cheated on and staying.
00:03:32.140 And like, I know, like someone recently, they were married for like 25 years or so, or 23
00:03:38.400 years, and she left basically when the kids were old enough to just, like, none of them
00:03:42.580 were in high school anymore.
00:03:43.480 Um, and I, I remember when I was talking to her, she felt like she was setting her kids
00:03:48.660 up for success because we're all under the same roof.
00:03:51.720 Um, they have a better chance of whatever, right?
00:03:55.180 And it still was damaging because you are witnessing your mother tolerate disrespect for, uh, security.
00:04:06.360 How did, how did the kids know?
00:04:08.860 How did the kids, how did the kids know what?
00:04:10.440 That she was being cheated on.
00:04:13.580 It was something that this particular situation, it was, I know one instance was like one of
00:04:21.140 their family friends. 0.99
00:04:22.600 Oh shit. 1.00
00:04:23.420 Yeah. 1.00
00:04:23.560 It was really close to home stuff.
00:04:25.660 And there was another, another scenario where.
00:04:28.820 It was, it was one of the family friends they were cheating on or is that told them?
00:04:32.060 Um, no, it was, they were cheating with one of their family friends.
00:04:35.680 So like, someone like, oh, we go over to her house all the time, but my dad is sleeping
00:04:38.500 with her.
00:04:39.320 Oh, so he, they would see the parent cheat.
00:04:42.300 It, I'm not exactly, I don't, I don't think it was, they physically saw it, but it was something
00:04:46.760 that the mom would share, um, that they would hear arguments too.
00:04:51.420 Like if they weren't, even if they weren't involved in the actual argument, they would overhear,
00:04:54.940 um, which obviously, you know, showing, exposing your kids to that stuff is one thing.
00:05:00.160 But the other instance was, um, the dad was going out to the club with like the son and
00:05:07.200 he had a girl with him.
00:05:08.600 So it's like that direct, like, I don't respect your mom in this way.
00:05:14.100 I can do what I want to do.
00:05:15.120 And your mom's still going to stay. 0.97
00:05:16.380 So that's where I feel like it really depends on what's going on in that household because
00:05:21.080 seeing your mom be basically disrespected for comfort, it's like, it sends the wrong
00:05:28.220 message about love.
00:05:29.260 I agree.
00:05:29.800 Like blatant dislike, I can't believe he brought his son to a club and she like that.
00:05:33.480 That's crazy.
00:05:34.200 Yeah.
00:05:34.440 Like the girl with him.
00:05:35.460 But I just think sometimes, you know, we never talk about like the women's part to play in
00:05:39.900 this.
00:05:40.260 And like one, one in four marriages are sexless.
00:05:43.160 One in four.
00:05:44.220 And so I just think if you're going to starve a man and he's begging you to sleep with him 0.79
00:05:48.980 and someone comes on a platter, like, that's why I say we never talk about why the men cheat.
00:05:53.700 And a lot of people will take this out of context.
00:05:55.360 Like I believe in cheating, but like there are times where the woman is not sleeping with 1.00
00:05:59.780 the man and then he cheats, but he's not naturally inclined to.
00:06:03.620 And that's a conversation we don't really have.
00:06:06.320 I'm not saying it's okay, but it's almost like, what did you, what did you expect?
00:06:10.740 But at the same time too, like, again, like, let's just, like I said, make it with me and
00:06:15.200 you, like, if you're my girlfriend and you don't want to sleep with me, the, the, my 1.00
00:06:19.740 first go-to isn't to go try to sleep with someone else.
00:06:22.120 I'm not getting it from you.
00:06:22.900 I would want to explore the emotional depths of whatever you're feeling.
00:06:26.840 What am I not doing?
00:06:27.720 Why do you not want to be close to me?
00:06:29.380 I want to be intimate with you.
00:06:30.660 But you're thinking like a woman. 0.77
00:06:32.540 And that, that's how a woman, right, right. 1.00
00:06:34.100 But like, like men, it's just, come on, you know how guys are.
00:06:37.360 Like, I'm sure you, you especially, like, like, like being, being as beautiful as you
00:06:42.320 are, like most guys, if you put yourself on a platter in front of them would be down.
00:06:48.040 Yeah.
00:06:48.640 I mean, yeah, yeah.
00:06:49.660 That's saying much, but yeah.
00:06:51.560 Yeah.
00:06:51.780 I mean, but that's, that's what I'm saying.
00:06:53.220 Like men, men have, if you're giving him sex, he'll still cheat because there's options.
00:06:57.800 I would say most men that have women on them on a silver, for them on a silver platter will 0.99
00:07:03.680 cheat.
00:07:04.340 Yeah.
00:07:04.620 Like I would say most, but not all men, most, most men work a normal nine to five.
00:07:10.480 They go to work, they come home.
00:07:12.160 There's maybe one or a couple of girls in the office, whatever they, he might cheat there, 0.94
00:07:16.780 but most men, girls aren't really checking for.
00:07:19.760 So if you date an average guy, unless you're starving him of sex, it's a lot of work for 0.93
00:07:24.880 men to go out and get sex.
00:07:26.660 That's why I say, what part did you have to play in him cheating?
00:07:29.780 Like, okay, if you were, you were with an elite athlete, right?
00:07:33.800 Like they're just going to cheat.
00:07:36.120 That's just, I see the normal, I saw D3 basketball players.
00:07:39.260 I can't, I saw NAIA, I can't look at NBA.
00:07:44.980 I was like, I can't, but okay.
00:07:47.580 But like your average nine to five Joe, it's a bunch of work for him to go out and get a
00:07:52.580 girl.
00:07:52.860 So it's like, what part did you have to play?
00:07:55.200 A lot of women are always nagging on their husbands. 1.00
00:07:57.480 They got, they gained a bunch of weight after they had a kid, Brittany showing us firsthand. 0.98
00:08:02.040 You don't have to do that.
00:08:04.200 And, and it's like, then they stopped sleeping with him.
00:08:06.720 And the men are like, wait, wait, wait, wait, I thought I got 120 pound wife that was going 1.00
00:08:11.620 to sleep with me all the time.
00:08:13.280 Now she got the ring where I'm locked into a contract for life.
00:08:17.480 And you could take my kids with me and my money and put me on child support, all this
00:08:21.840 stuff.
00:08:22.120 And now you're going to gain a bunch of weight and not sleep with me. 0.99
00:08:26.920 Like, what did you expect to have?