JustPearlyThings - March 29, 2023


Can Women Truly Be Happy WITHOUT Children？？


Episode Stats

Length

11 minutes

Words per Minute

197.98358

Word Count

2,363

Sentence Count

12

Misogynist Sentences

12

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.400 Okay, so today's topic is, I think I titled it, Can Modern Women Be Happy Without Children?
00:00:08.500 Is that what I put?
00:00:09.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's okay.
00:00:10.440 So today's topic is, Can Modern Women Be Happy Without Children?
00:00:13.900 And the reason that we thought of this topic today is because Jennifer Aniston, at 53,
00:00:19.480 did an interview about IVF and fertility treatments in the pursuit of motherhood.
00:00:23.980 She said that treatments began several years ago in her late 40s.
00:00:27.700 She didn't give a timeline.
00:00:29.340 Jennifer Aniston said that she was motivated by the success of her contemporaries having
00:00:33.040 children late, like Hilary Swank and Janet Jackson had kids at 48 and 50, respectively.
00:00:38.420 Jennifer now knows how much of an outlier these women are now, but didn't do the research when
00:00:43.620 she was younger.
00:00:44.780 Jennifer admitted that she had all the money in the world, but was not able to get pregnant.
00:00:49.140 Jennifer says she has no regrets and feels free now, but that the pressure of having kids
00:00:54.480 is off the table.
00:00:55.620 Jennifer Aniston said that she was a child.
00:00:57.160 So, question for the women.
00:01:01.780 Do you think that women can be happy without children?
00:01:06.340 Go ahead.
00:01:06.780 yeah I think I think they can be happy I know loads of women that put their
00:01:11.580 career first nowadays and I think a lot of people kind of underestimate how much
00:01:17.540 a child will change your life because it's not something that goes away like
00:01:22.220 if you want to go out for dinner or all the things you can do when you're by
00:01:27.480 yourself without a child you can't do them you always have to have childcare
00:01:30.900 you know it costs a lot of money childcare is very expensive and there's
00:01:37.020 always stress there's always the worry of is my child healthy is my child safe
00:01:41.640 and I think that when you don't have a child it seems very attractive and in a
00:01:49.080 lot of ways it is if it's your dream to have a child but you also like have to
00:01:54.000 compromise a lot of your own life so I feel like it really depends on where you
00:01:58.740 stand and what your mindset is if you would like to have a child obviously
00:02:02.280 some people since they're young they want to have a child and you know they
00:02:05.700 want they want to be a stay-at-home wife and you know they want the family life
00:02:09.840 and stuff but I feel like nowadays a lot of women are also like you know what to
00:02:13.640 be honest I have so many dreams and goals for myself and if a child would come in
00:02:18.240 the picture it's gonna be more difficult and I also don't want to you know be
00:02:25.060 there less for my child because the minute you put your career first for
00:02:28.480 example for myself if I'm a singer and let's say I would go on a tour am I
00:02:32.560 gonna drop my child with a nanny 24 7 because that child is not gonna be happy
00:02:37.300 to see me 10 minutes a day reading her a book or reading him a book like that's
00:02:41.500 not what parenting is so it's all these factors come into play and I've been a
00:02:47.140 nanny I've seen it I used to nanny for a billionaire family and the parents
00:02:52.480 literally sometimes would leave for like four weeks and then the child is with a
00:02:56.320 nanny for 24 7 and the child calls the nanny mommy so I feel like you know it's
00:03:01.840 it's very hard and I you know when people say to me I don't want children I think a
00:03:06.940 lot of people judge them mm-hmm but because I'm a nanny I've seen how much of a
00:03:11.440 pressure it is people that shouldn't have kids have kids exactly and then for them
00:03:15.400 for them a child is like a Prada bag it's like sick I can put my um I can put my
00:03:20.380 money when I die I can give my money to a child but at the end of the day you've
00:03:24.500 been with your child for like 10% that's it you know and then they drag their
00:03:28.840 children to like all these events and they act like they're the great mom and
00:03:33.880 it's like babes you weren't here the whole day and they're like oh yeah she's done
00:03:38.980 this at school and then the most funny thing is that my old nanny children would
00:03:43.280 be like mom you're just showing off you're never here and I would be like or
00:03:47.780 they would be to people like do you miss your mom and they were like no all she
00:03:51.500 does is party and wear funky clothes I was like oh my days that kid is six so
00:03:56.600 it's like that's six yeah yeah wow so and that's also a thing children are
00:04:01.820 highly intuitive like they know you know that's why children you know when
00:04:07.080 children really gravitate towards like certain people hundred percent and to
00:04:10.400 some people they don't it's because they feel safe with certain people they
00:04:14.280 clock things yeah exactly so yeah I think I think you can be happy but if it's
00:04:19.580 really your your dream to have a child and then it all comes falling down
00:04:24.200 because you can't have children then it's a different different convo I guess
00:04:27.740 that's true when we go around I also want you guys to say if you want kids
00:04:31.680 yourself so do you want kids yeah yeah I do you do okay and then you want to go
00:04:36.060 next tell me I I have an eight-year-old oh you haven't I am a mom okay but I make
00:04:40.560 sure it's very sorry I have an eight-year-old I am a mom so but I'm not it
00:04:46.760 wasn't planned and I'm not maternal in that way so I feel like if I haven't if I
00:04:51.520 didn't have him then like now couldn't imagine anything different but then
00:04:56.120 every literally every person that I said I'm having a baby they were like it just
00:05:05.380 wasn't it wasn't in the plan but like I'm not I make sure my time is very I
00:05:10.900 treat my job as a job I treat my socializing is like the did like totally
00:05:14.920 separate as in like it's not I've never I never take anything away from him he has
00:05:19.420 my full attention at all times he's my priority at all times so in that sense
00:05:24.220 it's like from a mom's point of view like I would have been if you'd asked me
00:05:31.900 before I had him I'd have been like I don't know if I'm ever gonna have kids
00:05:35.080 like it just wasn't in my plan but now because he's there like I would not
00:05:42.520 imagine life without it like is my best friend we do oh like I don't know the bond
00:05:47.320 the bond is just that like no one can describe it if you're a mom you feel
00:05:50.860 that but I also have like best mates that I've said to be like I feel like I'm
00:05:56.560 just not gonna have kids and then it's not like they say it as if they're not
00:06:00.940 gonna be happy it's just like it's just not in their plan at that moment but I
00:06:05.080 feel like it's your situation it's all to do with your relationship and you're
00:06:09.280 never gonna have a kid in like a bad when you're in a bad space unless it's
00:06:13.240 accidental obviously so I feel like if you're planning to have kids and you want
00:06:17.380 to have that family life where you're married your kids you settle down and
00:06:20.200 that's what that's like your dream you cannot be happy without that because
00:06:23.440 that's your tunnel vision you want that so that's what it is whereas some people
00:06:28.180 don't have that as their dream some people want to be ambitious and like build
00:06:33.660 so much more in a career sense then so it's like what's your priorities do you want
00:06:39.000 the family life do you want this life or do you want an in-between are you ever
00:06:42.280 gonna be happy with you do you feel like you would have been equally happy if
00:06:45.640 you didn't have a child mmm I it's all I don't know that's an
00:06:49.460 hard question because like I was happy but I was very young I had him at 21 so
00:06:56.000 it's like at 21 what like what worries do I have really yeah you know I mean I
00:07:01.160 didn't know life as I do now whereas I feel like if I saw myself at 21 I would
00:07:06.800 have said no I'm not having kids yet blah blah blah but me at 29 like and then if you
00:07:11.620 ask me then I'll be like no I'm not gonna where I was turning out like I don't
00:07:15.980 know what I would have I I still live my life we're going on like we do things a
00:07:20.680 lot together like I don't see I don't see why yes to not be there for me to not
00:07:25.120 have fun but we go on dates together every Sunday we do a good doers day it's
00:07:28.980 like that's my life partner at the moment do you want more kids just does mmm in my
00:07:35.680 situation I'm single so no okay like but it would not to say that would for the
00:07:40.140 right guy would you would you have more kids okay yeah okay what about you do you
00:07:43.840 want kids so I always wanted to be a young mom um and then I turned 30 this
00:07:49.800 year and I actually had like a midlife crisis because I was like I have no kids I
00:07:54.980 have no relationship like my career is good but I want that like old-school
00:08:00.500 family like that love that life and I did get sad thinking like I'm not gonna
00:08:06.740 just settle and like have someone's kid just for the sake of having a kid like I
00:08:10.400 want the the whole package so if I can't have that like am I ever gonna have
00:08:15.540 kids and I did actually have a conversation with my mom the other day and I
00:08:19.000 was like do I need to freeze my eggs and it was like a serious thing because I was
00:08:22.500 like what if I meet someone in a couple of years and you know like your body you
00:08:27.640 don't know what's gonna happen to it as a woman so it's quite a scary thing if
00:08:32.040 it's something that you want mm-hmm okay what do you think um I from a personal
00:08:38.260 perspective do I want kids first of all yes I do want children of my own um I
00:08:44.340 think obviously like some of the ladies have said um society pressures women to
00:08:49.520 kind of think that that's sort of the role to go down very to go down to have
00:08:53.600 children have a family be a wife potentially um and I think especially
00:08:58.400 where you reach a certain well women anyway on a biological clock whether we
00:09:03.800 like it or not we are and I think that keeps us some of us I put up at night
00:09:08.900 knowing that so um having the thought of having children for most women is
00:09:16.940 obviously a priority for most of us but obviously we would like most women would
00:09:21.200 like a relationship a foundation a family I think in today's society looking
00:09:26.240 at a lot of the relationships especially the ones that are put on
00:09:28.580 platforms and social media a lot of them seem to be failing and collapsing so I
00:09:32.560 think so I think in one hand you want yes yeah you do want children but the same
00:09:41.320 time you don't want to just settle down with anybody and end up in a worse
00:09:44.860 situation there are plenty of women out there that are single mums and are doing
00:09:49.120 a great job but still have always said they would have preferred to have done
00:09:52.300 this with a partner mm-hmm so I think it's down to the individual finding their
00:09:57.840 happiness I think like some people said already it depends on who you are what
00:10:03.480 you call and class as happiness because some people's happiness are traveling
00:10:08.220 exploring um and some people are just free-spirited and they're interested in
00:10:12.060 other things other people have that tunnel vision of wanting kids in the
00:10:16.020 family so to answer the question in terms of happiness it comes it will be
00:10:20.600 obviously down to the person but I definitely think that women should be
00:10:30.920 selfish in their decisions so that they're not in predicaments and allow
00:10:37.460 themselves to be pressured by not even just by society by immediate people like
00:10:41.600 family and friends how do you know it's society and not biology and you know like
00:10:45.780 we've done some in a certain way for thousands of years I think it's a bit of
00:10:49.460 both I think because we all know that but we're on a biological clock mm-hmm we
00:10:54.500 have like we're all thinking the same thing but also I think I don't know
00:11:00.020 obviously we have things like social media where you see people uploading at
00:11:03.900 certain age that they're married I've got lots of friends of mine that have
00:11:06.860 that are engaged or about to walk down the aisle at the moment and where you've
00:11:11.900 been socialized to go to school at a certain age with your age mates then you go to
00:11:16.800 college at a certain age with your age mates then you graduate you get a job
00:11:22.260 mm-hmm you've been conditioned that at a certain age you do the same thing as
00:11:25.920 your age mates when you get to a certain age and people around you are doing
00:11:28.640 certain things like getting proposed to and you're not it kind of does make you
00:11:32.640 fool the type of way if I'm being completely real so as many of you know I
00:11:39.120 was just banned on tick-tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
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