JustPearlyThings - Can Women Truly Be Happy WITHOUT Children？？

00:00:00.400 Okay, so today's topic is, I think I titled it, Can Modern Women Be Happy Without Children? 0.83

00:00:08.500 Is that what I put?

00:00:09.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's okay.

00:00:10.440 So today's topic is, Can Modern Women Be Happy Without Children? 0.89

00:00:13.900 And the reason that we thought of this topic today is because Jennifer Aniston, at 53,

00:00:19.480 did an interview about IVF and fertility treatments in the pursuit of motherhood.

00:00:23.980 She said that treatments began several years ago in her late 40s.

00:00:27.700 She didn't give a timeline.

00:00:29.340 Jennifer Aniston said that she was motivated by the success of her contemporaries having

00:00:33.040 children late, like Hilary Swank and Janet Jackson had kids at 48 and 50, respectively.

00:00:38.420 Jennifer now knows how much of an outlier these women are now, but didn't do the research when 1.00

00:00:43.620 she was younger.

00:00:44.780 Jennifer admitted that she had all the money in the world, but was not able to get pregnant.

00:00:49.140 Jennifer says she has no regrets and feels free now, but that the pressure of having kids

00:00:54.480 is off the table.

00:00:55.620 Jennifer Aniston said that she was a child.

00:00:57.160 So, question for the women. 0.99

00:01:01.780 Do you think that women can be happy without children? 1.00

00:01:06.340 Go ahead.

00:01:06.780 yeah I think I think they can be happy I know loads of women that put their 1.00

00:01:11.580 career first nowadays and I think a lot of people kind of underestimate how much

00:01:17.540 a child will change your life because it's not something that goes away like

00:01:22.220 if you want to go out for dinner or all the things you can do when you're by

00:01:27.480 yourself without a child you can't do them you always have to have childcare

00:01:30.900 you know it costs a lot of money childcare is very expensive and there's

00:01:37.020 always stress there's always the worry of is my child healthy is my child safe

00:01:41.640 and I think that when you don't have a child it seems very attractive and in a

00:01:49.080 lot of ways it is if it's your dream to have a child but you also like have to

00:01:54.000 compromise a lot of your own life so I feel like it really depends on where you

00:01:58.740 stand and what your mindset is if you would like to have a child obviously

00:02:02.280 some people since they're young they want to have a child and you know they

00:02:05.700 want they want to be a stay-at-home wife and you know they want the family life 0.96

00:02:09.840 and stuff but I feel like nowadays a lot of women are also like you know what to 1.00

00:02:13.640 be honest I have so many dreams and goals for myself and if a child would come in

00:02:18.240 the picture it's gonna be more difficult and I also don't want to you know be

00:02:25.060 there less for my child because the minute you put your career first for

00:02:28.480 example for myself if I'm a singer and let's say I would go on a tour am I

00:02:32.560 gonna drop my child with a nanny 24 7 because that child is not gonna be happy

00:02:37.300 to see me 10 minutes a day reading her a book or reading him a book like that's

00:02:41.500 not what parenting is so it's all these factors come into play and I've been a

00:02:47.140 nanny I've seen it I used to nanny for a billionaire family and the parents

00:02:52.480 literally sometimes would leave for like four weeks and then the child is with a

00:02:56.320 nanny for 24 7 and the child calls the nanny mommy so I feel like you know it's

00:03:01.840 it's very hard and I you know when people say to me I don't want children I think a

00:03:06.940 lot of people judge them mm-hmm but because I'm a nanny I've seen how much of a

00:03:11.440 pressure it is people that shouldn't have kids have kids exactly and then for them 0.94

00:03:15.400 for them a child is like a Prada bag it's like sick I can put my um I can put my

00:03:20.380 money when I die I can give my money to a child but at the end of the day you've

00:03:24.500 been with your child for like 10% that's it you know and then they drag their

00:03:28.840 children to like all these events and they act like they're the great mom and

00:03:33.880 it's like babes you weren't here the whole day and they're like oh yeah she's done 0.98

00:03:38.980 this at school and then the most funny thing is that my old nanny children would

00:03:43.280 be like mom you're just showing off you're never here and I would be like or

00:03:47.780 they would be to people like do you miss your mom and they were like no all she

00:03:51.500 does is party and wear funky clothes I was like oh my days that kid is six so

00:03:56.600 it's like that's six yeah yeah wow so and that's also a thing children are

00:04:01.820 highly intuitive like they know you know that's why children you know when

00:04:07.080 children really gravitate towards like certain people hundred percent and to

00:04:10.400 some people they don't it's because they feel safe with certain people they

00:04:14.280 clock things yeah exactly so yeah I think I think you can be happy but if it's

00:04:19.580 really your your dream to have a child and then it all comes falling down

00:04:24.200 because you can't have children then it's a different different convo I guess

00:04:27.740 that's true when we go around I also want you guys to say if you want kids

00:04:31.680 yourself so do you want kids yeah yeah I do you do okay and then you want to go

00:04:36.060 next tell me I I have an eight-year-old oh you haven't I am a mom okay but I make

00:04:40.560 sure it's very sorry I have an eight-year-old I am a mom so but I'm not it

00:04:46.760 wasn't planned and I'm not maternal in that way so I feel like if I haven't if I

00:04:51.520 didn't have him then like now couldn't imagine anything different but then

00:04:56.120 every literally every person that I said I'm having a baby they were like it just

00:05:05.380 wasn't it wasn't in the plan but like I'm not I make sure my time is very I

00:05:10.900 treat my job as a job I treat my socializing is like the did like totally

00:05:14.920 separate as in like it's not I've never I never take anything away from him he has

00:05:19.420 my full attention at all times he's my priority at all times so in that sense

00:05:24.220 it's like from a mom's point of view like I would have been if you'd asked me

00:05:31.900 before I had him I'd have been like I don't know if I'm ever gonna have kids

00:05:35.080 like it just wasn't in my plan but now because he's there like I would not

00:05:42.520 imagine life without it like is my best friend we do oh like I don't know the bond

00:05:47.320 the bond is just that like no one can describe it if you're a mom you feel

00:05:50.860 that but I also have like best mates that I've said to be like I feel like I'm

00:05:56.560 just not gonna have kids and then it's not like they say it as if they're not

00:06:00.940 gonna be happy it's just like it's just not in their plan at that moment but I

00:06:05.080 feel like it's your situation it's all to do with your relationship and you're

00:06:09.280 never gonna have a kid in like a bad when you're in a bad space unless it's

00:06:13.240 accidental obviously so I feel like if you're planning to have kids and you want

00:06:17.380 to have that family life where you're married your kids you settle down and

00:06:20.200 that's what that's like your dream you cannot be happy without that because

00:06:23.440 that's your tunnel vision you want that so that's what it is whereas some people

00:06:28.180 don't have that as their dream some people want to be ambitious and like build

00:06:33.660 so much more in a career sense then so it's like what's your priorities do you want

00:06:39.000 the family life do you want this life or do you want an in-between are you ever

00:06:42.280 gonna be happy with you do you feel like you would have been equally happy if

00:06:45.640 you didn't have a child mmm I it's all I don't know that's an

00:06:49.460 hard question because like I was happy but I was very young I had him at 21 so

00:06:56.000 it's like at 21 what like what worries do I have really yeah you know I mean I

00:07:01.160 didn't know life as I do now whereas I feel like if I saw myself at 21 I would

00:07:06.800 have said no I'm not having kids yet blah blah blah but me at 29 like and then if you

00:07:11.620 ask me then I'll be like no I'm not gonna where I was turning out like I don't

00:07:15.980 know what I would have I I still live my life we're going on like we do things a

00:07:20.680 lot together like I don't see I don't see why yes to not be there for me to not

00:07:25.120 have fun but we go on dates together every Sunday we do a good doers day it's

00:07:28.980 like that's my life partner at the moment do you want more kids just does mmm in my

00:07:35.680 situation I'm single so no okay like but it would not to say that would for the

00:07:40.140 right guy would you would you have more kids okay yeah okay what about you do you

00:07:43.840 want kids so I always wanted to be a young mom um and then I turned 30 this

00:07:49.800 year and I actually had like a midlife crisis because I was like I have no kids I

00:07:54.980 have no relationship like my career is good but I want that like old-school

00:08:00.500 family like that love that life and I did get sad thinking like I'm not gonna

00:08:06.740 just settle and like have someone's kid just for the sake of having a kid like I

00:08:10.400 want the the whole package so if I can't have that like am I ever gonna have

00:08:15.540 kids and I did actually have a conversation with my mom the other day and I

00:08:19.000 was like do I need to freeze my eggs and it was like a serious thing because I was

00:08:22.500 like what if I meet someone in a couple of years and you know like your body you

00:08:27.640 don't know what's gonna happen to it as a woman so it's quite a scary thing if

00:08:32.040 it's something that you want mm-hmm okay what do you think um I from a personal

00:08:38.260 perspective do I want kids first of all yes I do want children of my own um I

00:08:44.340 think obviously like some of the ladies have said um society pressures women to 0.99

00:08:49.520 kind of think that that's sort of the role to go down very to go down to have

00:08:53.600 children have a family be a wife potentially um and I think especially 0.66

00:08:58.400 where you reach a certain well women anyway on a biological clock whether we 1.00

00:09:03.800 like it or not we are and I think that keeps us some of us I put up at night

00:09:08.900 knowing that so um having the thought of having children for most women is 0.98

00:09:16.940 obviously a priority for most of us but obviously we would like most women would 1.00

00:09:21.200 like a relationship a foundation a family I think in today's society looking

00:09:26.240 at a lot of the relationships especially the ones that are put on

00:09:28.580 platforms and social media a lot of them seem to be failing and collapsing so I

00:09:32.560 think so I think in one hand you want yes yeah you do want children but the same

00:09:41.320 time you don't want to just settle down with anybody and end up in a worse

00:09:44.860 situation there are plenty of women out there that are single mums and are doing 1.00

00:09:49.120 a great job but still have always said they would have preferred to have done

00:09:52.300 this with a partner mm-hmm so I think it's down to the individual finding their

00:09:57.840 happiness I think like some people said already it depends on who you are what

00:10:03.480 you call and class as happiness because some people's happiness are traveling

00:10:08.220 exploring um and some people are just free-spirited and they're interested in

00:10:12.060 other things other people have that tunnel vision of wanting kids in the

00:10:16.020 family so to answer the question in terms of happiness it comes it will be

00:10:20.600 obviously down to the person but I definitely think that women should be 1.00

00:10:30.920 selfish in their decisions so that they're not in predicaments and allow

00:10:37.460 themselves to be pressured by not even just by society by immediate people like

00:10:41.600 family and friends how do you know it's society and not biology and you know like

00:10:45.780 we've done some in a certain way for thousands of years I think it's a bit of

00:10:49.460 both I think because we all know that but we're on a biological clock mm-hmm we

00:10:54.500 have like we're all thinking the same thing but also I think I don't know

00:11:00.020 obviously we have things like social media where you see people uploading at

00:11:03.900 certain age that they're married I've got lots of friends of mine that have

00:11:06.860 that are engaged or about to walk down the aisle at the moment and where you've

00:11:11.900 been socialized to go to school at a certain age with your age mates then you go to

00:11:16.800 college at a certain age with your age mates then you graduate you get a job

00:11:22.260 mm-hmm you've been conditioned that at a certain age you do the same thing as

00:11:25.920 your age mates when you get to a certain age and people around you are doing

00:11:28.640 certain things like getting proposed to and you're not it kind of does make you

00:11:32.640 fool the type of way if I'm being completely real so as many of you know I

00:11:39.120 was just banned on tick-tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this

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JustPearlyThings - March 29, 2023

Can Women Truly Be Happy WITHOUT Children？？

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