JustPearlyThings - Christians On Dating Apps (Call-in Show)

00:00:00.000 Thank you.

00:00:30.000 Thank you.

00:01:00.000 Thank you.

00:01:30.000 Thank you.

00:01:36.000 Good afternoon.

00:01:37.320 Good evening, everybody.

00:01:38.880 Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.

00:01:41.860 I am your host, Pearl, here at the Audacity Network.

00:01:45.240 Today, I have a special show for you.

00:01:47.860 We are going to be talking about Christians on dating apps.

00:01:50.900 But before we get into today's topics, as you guys know, I have a couple housekeeping, you

00:01:56.880 know, updates.

00:01:58.060 So the first update is that, guys, theaudacitynetwork.com.

00:02:02.880 That's T-H-E-A-U-D-A-C-I-T-Y-D dot, oh my gosh, I can't talk today.

00:02:10.420 C-O-M.

00:02:11.980 And the link is in the description or you can look it up on the app stores.

00:02:15.660 We are going to have smart, intelligent men give presentations on their industry.

00:02:20.700 And tomorrow, someone is giving a presentation talking about, is federal work for you?

00:02:27.140 You know, it's really going to be explaining the current situation of the federal government

00:02:32.460 from a federal employee's point of view, explain the ins and outs of federal work, their experience,

00:02:39.080 and the best practices and the pros and cons.

00:02:42.040 This smart, intelligent man did very well in this industry, and so he's going to give

00:02:47.140 you guys the ins and outs, and you can see if it's something that's for you.

00:02:51.260 As you guys know, I have found that some of the most intelligent men that I know are not

00:02:56.180 famous.

00:02:56.680 So what I wanted to do was give you guys value where you guys can ask them questions directly

00:03:01.820 and they can give presentations on different industries, but they have the privacy and being

00:03:10.240 anonymous that they want.

00:03:11.580 So, because most, a lot of the most smart men that I know really have no desire for fame.

00:03:17.820 Okay, so let's get into today's episode.

00:03:22.080 Welcome to another episode of Pearl Daily.

00:03:25.620 Conversations are being had about the effectiveness of dating apps.

00:03:29.460 Although meeting online is still the number one way of meeting people, younger millennial and

00:03:34.480 Gen Z are trying different avenues to date.

00:03:37.440 While on the decline, it would still be helpful to learn how to navigate the world of online

00:03:44.060 dating.

00:03:44.960 What to put in your profile and how to message a woman and arrange a date offline are essential

00:03:50.880 skills to learn if a man wants any success in meeting women online.

00:03:55.180 But what happens if you are religious?

00:03:57.600 Many Christians have not found success finding a relationship in their church or their church

00:04:04.360 doesn't foster Christian relationships with its members.

00:04:07.980 This leaves many to try online dating.

00:04:11.620 So what are the issues with Christians dating online?

00:04:14.640 Some argue that dating apps put Christians' mind into a consumeristic and individualistic

00:04:26.540 mindset, making the Christian view people on the app as items to be swiped on instead of

00:04:32.340 actual people.

00:04:34.400 Dating apps create an illusion of infinite choice, making a Christian create an unrealistic expectation

00:04:40.480 of a potential partner, leading to anxiety.

00:04:45.040 The quick nature of dating apps can hinder the development of a deep and meaningful relationship.

00:04:52.080 Some Christians may feel a stigma and hide their dating apps from other members of their

00:04:57.580 faith.

00:04:58.600 You know these hoes are on Tinder.

00:05:01.060 You know how these church hoes are.

00:05:03.840 They hide the app, but they're on Tinder.

00:05:06.120 You know, you know how it is.

00:05:08.040 They got to throw it back with somebody.

00:05:10.600 So in church, here's the hierarchy of women trying to throw it back in church.

00:05:15.680 So obviously number one draft pick is going to be the pastor.

00:05:20.000 They're going to try to throw it back.

00:05:21.960 And so that's their number one.

00:05:23.100 But if that doesn't work out, they quickly go for the members of the bands, maybe security

00:05:28.180 guards, maybe the pastor's right hand man, or obviously the muscle guys in church that

00:05:35.560 run through these hoes.

00:05:36.660 Yeah, so, um, so, you know, when they go, when all the church hoes go through that, they

00:05:43.700 obviously got to go to Tinder.

00:05:45.060 So there are many non-Christian dating apps, um, that there are so many non-Christians

00:05:51.680 on dating apps that finding a genuine faith based connection can be difficult.

00:05:57.460 These hoes don't have faith.

00:06:04.340 Okay.

00:06:05.120 Let's take a look at some of the hidden dangers of dating apps.

00:06:09.000 Okay.

00:06:09.980 Four hidden dangers Christian needs to, Christians need to know about online dating.

00:06:15.700 Okay.

00:06:19.840 Uh, what can I get rid of this ad?

00:06:23.740 Thank you.

00:06:24.560 Okay.

00:06:25.300 So here is this person's experience.

00:06:27.620 So my wife and I, both devout believers met on a secular dating app.

00:06:33.880 And while the end result of that experience was more of a blessing than I could have ever

00:06:38.880 asked for, we did spend the entire first date sharing how terrible our online dating experiences

00:06:45.660 had been.

00:06:46.240 This was a, no surprise to me.

00:06:48.500 Having worked in the online dating industry for years, I was privy to an insider experience

00:06:54.400 of what things were like for Christian singles.

00:06:59.060 Nayski, nada, not good.

00:07:01.020 Again, this is the problem.

00:07:02.820 It's people trying to date traditional in a modern world.

00:07:06.240 It just leads to both sides really taking L's because obviously the women are going to go

00:07:13.220 for Chad's first.

00:07:14.340 And Chad's really don't value chastity until maybe 10, 15 years in when they're looking

00:07:22.460 for their wife.

00:07:23.280 But do you know how many women they don't give a shit about chastity with?

00:07:28.080 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:07:29.040 Because you, I know like you want to, we want a virtue signal and say, don't go for Chad's.

00:07:33.900 Yeah.

00:07:36.760 Let me know how that works.

00:07:39.440 Selling that to the ladies.

00:07:41.440 You know what, ladies go for the men in your league.

00:07:44.340 Okay.

00:07:47.520 So what happens is the women, they're going to go for Chad's.

00:07:51.880 Chad's don't care about purity.

00:07:54.600 Now the Christian men do, maybe a Christian Chad.

00:07:57.420 But there's not many Christian Chad's and the problem is the pure, the Christian women are

00:08:06.420 the ones that try to maintain some sense of purity.

00:08:09.200 They have no relationship skills, right?

00:08:12.080 And the issue they get is Chad's, they need more than just sex.

00:08:18.620 It's like the bare minimum.

00:08:20.760 It's like, it takes this much to get in.

00:08:24.840 Like, purity just isn't the same to Chad's until like, they're really on a mission to

00:08:31.300 settle down.

00:08:31.980 Otherwise, it just kind of happens.

00:08:33.520 Like somehow, somehow just likes him so much.

00:08:38.200 He can really do whatever he wants and he's like, good enough.

00:08:41.860 So that's how the women take the L's.

00:08:43.780 The men, on the other hand, take the L's because, well, they're like, let me court you.

00:08:50.820 And the women are like, this is a target.

00:08:53.300 You want to court me in this economy?

00:08:54.940 They realize it's a target.

00:08:59.300 So a lot of, there's a lot of L's in church.

00:09:02.540 Now, fast forward a few years to one Sunday at church that would change our lives forever.

00:09:08.520 Our pastor was speaking about the breakdown of the family unit across the county or the

00:09:14.420 country and the negative effects it was having on the Christian community.

00:09:18.180 God put it on my heart that we needed to do something to provide a safe and effective

00:09:21.800 way for Christians to better connect romantically.

00:09:24.940 I felt that taking what I knew about online dating and creating something Christ-centered

00:09:30.420 could bring real change with the potential for generational impact.

00:09:34.920 I shared this with my wife.

00:09:36.380 We prayed about it for a while and we eventually put our yes on the table.

00:09:41.380 Now, you see a lot of these apps come across, right?

00:09:46.140 And what happens is these Christians come in and they think that they can convince men and

00:09:53.460 women to not like to make their biology go away, right?

00:10:00.140 So when you get a group of women, we are just, we just always go for the hot guys.

00:10:05.300 We're like the hot guys, the charming guys, whoever it is, the guy with a good, I mean,

00:10:10.100 we're pretty dumb, right?

00:10:11.880 So we fall for damn near anything.

00:10:13.660 You put a guy with a guitar, he can do like three chords.

00:10:16.860 It's the women are in love, right?

00:10:18.920 You get a guy doing comedy in the front of the room, the women are like anything.

00:10:23.420 We just never leave high school.

00:10:25.380 So it's like popularity forever.

00:10:28.020 I mean, in the PUA is they like mimic this, right?

00:10:31.080 It's hilarious.

00:10:31.720 So what they do is they teach guys and it works on us.

00:10:35.860 I'm not special or different, right?

00:10:38.920 So I don't want this to come off as an I'm better than you.

00:10:41.480 Dude, it obviously it works on me too, right?

00:10:44.460 I'm a woman, right?

00:10:45.480 It works on everybody.

00:10:46.820 So, you know, the PUAs, they teach the men to like know the bartenders, to know everybody

00:10:53.520 in a certain community.

00:10:54.600 So the girl thinks that he's popular.

00:10:59.660 Oh, it's too funny anyway.

00:11:01.360 So, all right, now you guys get this, right?

00:11:05.060 Okay, so now where, where am I going with this?

00:11:13.980 Where am I going with this?

00:11:14.920 Oh, and so the Christians, what they try to do is they try to get people to not do what

00:11:20.480 people do in groups.

00:11:21.440 So they're like men, top men, please settle down.

00:11:24.460 Don't run through these hoes.

00:11:25.800 They're like, please don't run through these hoes.

00:11:28.540 You're a pastor.

00:11:29.540 Did you know half of pastors have admitted to emotional affairs at least?

00:11:34.200 And a quarter, like cheating.

00:11:36.880 So half a pastor, if the literal men of God can't not do it when it's easy, right?

00:11:42.720 Because they're in the front of the room.

00:11:43.860 They can't help it.

00:11:44.540 The Poonani is just given to them.

00:11:46.160 Like it's like on a plant platter, these church hoes, you know what I mean?

00:11:49.780 So all these people, they think they can make an app that forgoes human nature to get

00:11:56.920 the chads to stop running through, to get the women to stop going for chads.

00:12:01.520 But the only solution is to figure out how to play the game and how to win.

00:12:06.360 And this economy, right?

00:12:08.420 You know, the women, it's learning relationship skills.

00:12:14.340 You could try to sell purity under 22.

00:12:18.060 Maybe if he's stupid, up to 25.

00:12:20.560 But you can't sell that much, right?

00:12:25.300 You know?

00:12:26.840 So I mean, but if he's like dumb, then the girls won't even like him anyway.

00:12:33.360 Then she'll just realize she can run circles around him.

00:12:36.700 He'll just get cheated on.

00:12:38.080 But, you know, look at these things.

00:12:40.600 So they all think that religion is a buffer.

00:12:43.180 And, you know, my boyfriend actually sent me something today that said that religious

00:12:47.280 countries don't have more children.

00:12:50.080 So religion is not a buffer to human nature.

00:12:52.780 Christian countries do not have the most children.

00:12:56.420 Really, people just have kids when they have to.

00:12:58.920 Because whenever we get money, people are like, eh.

00:13:02.220 I should preface.

00:13:03.660 Women are like, eh, we're completely in charge.

00:13:06.820 Okay, but I'll keep going on this article.

00:13:09.040 But here's the bigger realization I had during the process.

00:13:12.600 Most Christians and church leaders are unaware of the hidden dangers within the online dating

00:13:17.720 industry.

00:13:18.360 And while this knowledge gap is understandable, it's dangerous for our singles and our churches.

00:13:25.020 While with 96% of pastors being married and that trend continuing throughout much of church

00:13:31.740 leadership, it makes sense that knowledge and experience in these new forms of digital

00:13:36.320 dating may be scarce.

00:13:38.400 But with millions of Christian singles in the U.S. expected to use online dating app this

00:13:43.300 year, church leaders simply cannot choose to ignore the needs of the singles in their

00:13:49.800 congregation.

00:13:51.560 Now, this guy's going to go on to outline four important issues Christian singles, pastors,

00:13:57.440 and ministry leaders need to know about online dating apps.

00:14:01.440 I'm going to get to that.

00:14:02.540 But I want to tell you guys my experience.

00:14:04.860 Now, I grew up in a Catholic church.

00:14:07.020 Now, I'm going to focus on after school.

00:14:12.960 I went to a Protestant church for like two years and I was pretty into it.

00:14:17.400 I lived with people from the church.

00:14:19.480 I went to Bible study twice a week, right?

00:14:22.160 And I remember someone asked me if I wanted to do a dating event and I was like, oh, I was

00:14:26.580 single at the time.

00:14:28.400 So I'm like, all right, let's do it.

00:14:32.160 And they said, well, you probably won't get anything, right?

00:14:34.980 And I'm like, what do you mean I won't get anything?

00:14:36.540 And what they told me was that it's 90% women at these dating events.

00:14:42.160 And I'm like, oh, wow.

00:14:43.900 Why am I even at this church?

00:14:47.640 I thought we were here to get boyfriends.

00:14:49.740 No.

00:14:52.100 I'm like, why am I even here?

00:14:53.320 Anyway, so then at this, I know, I think I was there for the wrong reasons, right?

00:15:03.260 Anyway, so these churches, what they have is they have all these events and the women,

00:15:10.160 they kind of police each other.

00:15:11.480 It's really interesting.

00:15:12.340 It's like a weird dynamic.

00:15:13.320 Because you live with a lot of the other women and they tell you not to date on the dating

00:15:19.240 apps.

00:15:20.540 Now, this is a little different, but there they said you have to date someone in the

00:15:24.240 church.

00:15:24.700 So I'm like, you guys are going to put a gun to my head basically and make me die alone.

00:15:29.200 Like, I can't, I can't, I have to date within this church.

00:15:33.440 Or they said, go to other churches that are similar.

00:15:37.420 But I'm like, these men don't want to go to church.

00:15:41.480 Do you know what I mean?

00:15:42.280 These men aren't putting up with this bullshit here.

00:15:44.420 And then it becomes like a, a single woman.

00:15:47.820 And then I went on this, like, they had these like retreats you could go on and you like

00:15:51.500 read the Bible and whatever.

00:15:54.020 And I actually met some pretty cool like women there, but I can't, I looked around.

00:15:58.280 I'm like, all these women are older than me and single.

00:16:00.560 I'm going to die alone if I stay here.

00:16:03.440 And I really had this realization that the church really does leave women single because

00:16:09.520 instead of going out, like normally women will feel lonely, right?

00:16:14.140 So we'll ditch the whatever community and we'll be like, oh, let me go find a boyfriend

00:16:20.380 or a husband, whatever.

00:16:22.660 But what happens in these churches is the women get the sense of community from the church.

00:16:28.680 So they don't really feel the need.

00:16:31.020 And, and they also get the ability to disqualify men for not being godly enough.

00:16:36.840 And that's whatever the women deem is godly.

00:16:40.020 And you guys see how that's like a path for destruction.

00:16:42.940 Like there was this one woman at her church that, um, a limit, she was like older.

00:16:49.500 She was an older woman and like, not older, but like, okay, I don't want to give too many

00:16:53.180 details over 25, less than 35.

00:16:55.540 And she was a virgin, right?

00:16:57.760 Or allegedly, I mean, who knows, but, and she eliminated a guy for not being godly because

00:17:03.620 he tried to sleep with her.

00:17:05.640 I'm like, bitch, you're not no spring chicken.

00:17:09.340 What did you think was gonna, what did you, do you know what I mean?

00:17:14.180 Like, what did you, that's not going to work now.

00:17:17.420 Do you know what I mean?

00:17:18.100 But, and they also shame the male sex drive.

00:17:21.480 So, I mean, we all know, like part of being a man is you guys just want to have sex with

00:17:26.020 everything.

00:17:26.440 It's terrible.

00:17:27.660 I mean, not terrible.

00:17:28.780 Sorry.

00:17:29.100 I just did it.

00:17:30.040 But like, it's very humbling as a woman because there's nothing like new vagina to a man.

00:17:37.440 Like you could be a 10 out of 10 and he would just rather have sex with the new one.

00:17:41.240 And it's just like, you can't compete with it.

00:17:45.580 Do you know what I mean?

00:17:46.200 Like, it's the worst because really after a certain time, like guys get sick of sleeping

00:17:52.940 with you, what, after two years?

00:17:55.180 I mean, that's like enough, right?

00:17:57.580 If you got a good gluck, gluck, maybe three.

00:17:59.640 But like, he's still going to want to sleep with that new woman more.

00:18:04.820 And that's why I got to thank the corn stars out there.

00:18:08.920 Thank you, ladies, because I feel like you guys prevent cheating because they can just

00:18:14.040 look at you.

00:18:16.160 Right, right.

00:18:18.980 Anyways, so these churches, they really do leave women single.

00:18:23.560 They really do because they allow, they allow women to feel holier than thou because all they

00:18:29.160 have to do is put on a Jesus necklace and read the Bible and then you can think you're

00:18:35.140 a good person.

00:18:35.920 They don't tell you to not be annoying or not nag or learn the gluck, gluck.

00:18:40.940 Like, I had Christians on Twitter say that you shouldn't be your husband's porn star.

00:18:48.080 Well, who's going to do it?

00:18:50.800 Do you know what I mean?

00:18:51.920 It's like, I mean, now I understand there's some weird corn stuff.

00:18:58.360 But like, I'm not saying you got to be insane, but I mean, wouldn't you rather him looking

00:19:07.080 at you than looking at that?

00:19:08.740 Do you know?

00:19:11.520 Whatever, whatever.

00:19:12.660 Anyway, so now these are the problems this Christian guy found on the Christian dating

00:19:17.840 apps.

00:19:19.540 Not all Christian dating apps are Christian.

00:19:21.940 One of the most prevalent and detrimental assumption is that all Christian dating apps are actually

00:19:27.540 Christian.

00:19:28.600 Just because an online dating app has Christian in the title or Christ in the branding does

00:19:33.880 not mean that it's run by Christian leaders or that it cares about biblical values.

00:19:39.140 In fact, the majority of the largest and most popular Christian dating apps in the U.S.

00:19:43.780 are run by secular companies.

00:19:45.140 For example, Upward is the largest Christian dating app on the market right now and is an

00:19:51.200 option many pastors currently regularly recommend to their singles.

00:19:56.360 However, unbeknownst to them, Upward is actually owned by Match Group, an $11 billion company that

00:20:03.280 owns secular dating apps like Match.com, Hinge, and casual hookup style dating apps like Tinder.

00:20:11.640 Unfortunately, the experience for Christian singles on Upward is much of what you would expect from

00:20:18.980 a secular company.

00:20:20.620 This app is riddled with inappropriate content, utilizes the same matchmaking processes as

00:20:27.140 Tinder, and is filled with secular features that would make a pastor blush.

00:20:31.840 Yeah, like filtering height or, you know, I'm pretty sure you can basically buy women on

00:20:38.840 Tinder these days.

00:20:39.780 Okay, additionally, apps like Christian Mingle and eHarmony are often thought of as being

00:20:45.920 Christian-owned companies.

00:20:47.340 In reality, though, Christian Mingle is owned by a massively publicly traded company out of

00:20:52.240 Germany called Sparknotes that owns many casual secular dating apps, and eHarmony clearly

00:20:58.020 shares they are not a Christian dating app and more focused on inclusivity.

00:21:01.700 Number two, secular companies have different opinions on what is inappropriate.

00:21:10.840 With the majority of Christian dating apps being run by secular companies, it's important to

00:21:16.560 highlight an area where Christians and the world differ heavily on their viewpoint, specifically

00:21:22.440 when it relates to the topic of lust.

00:21:24.840 Yeah.

00:21:25.840 You guys think that slapping God on the title is going to make women not get naked?

00:21:31.280 Truly?

00:21:32.580 I mean, yeah.

00:21:35.500 Spend just a few minutes on some of the most popular Christian dating apps, and you'll see

00:21:40.800 a barrage of scantily clad photos, excessive cleavage, shirt-off pictures, and while everyone

00:21:46.680 may have a slightly different viewpoint on what is showing too much, these apps can choose to

00:21:52.600 err on the side of letting people do what they want, as opposed to being mindful of the things

00:21:57.380 that could cause a Christian brother or sister to stumble.

00:22:00.380 When you pair with this fact that Christians are led to feel that they're in a safe and

00:22:05.780 Christ-centered space, the lack of modesty can become quickly normalized.

00:22:11.480 I mean, do you guys know what?

00:22:13.600 Christians will die on the hill of women being whores.

00:22:17.000 They really will.

00:22:19.200 There was a girl on Twitter recently.

00:22:22.140 I mean, she was thirst-trapping at her job.

00:22:25.180 I mean, as the trad e-girls do.

00:22:27.840 And I just pointed it out.

00:22:29.200 And do you know what?

00:22:30.380 All of the Christians yelled at me for pointing it out.

00:22:34.500 This is what you're dealing with.

00:22:36.760 Now, the number three is romance scams are real, and Christian singles are the highest

00:22:42.080 value target.

00:22:44.160 The last major blind spot church and ministry leaders need to know about are the very real

00:22:49.360 dangers of romance scams.

00:22:51.540 By definition, a romance scam is when someone impersonates someone else online with the intention

00:22:56.560 of separating someone from their money.

00:22:58.740 Yeah, Christian men, unfortunately, are the biggest purchasers of OnlyFans.

00:23:06.260 Christian married men.

00:23:07.120 Even God can't stop these men from wanting to be with multiple women.

00:23:14.440 It's so unfortunate.

00:23:15.900 Do you know what I mean?

00:23:16.220 You could be so hot as a woman, and there's just nothing you can do.

00:23:20.000 Nothing.

00:23:21.800 Nothing.

00:23:22.200 There are horror stories you see that simply break your heart.

00:23:28.320 Christian singles are prime targets for scammers because they tend to be kind, giving, and empathetic,

00:23:32.980 even with strangers.

00:23:34.500 Scammers know and therefore target Christian singles both online and in person much more.

00:23:39.960 Number four, the act of swiping profiles is creating an addictive behavior.

00:23:44.560 For women, I mean, how many swipes do you really get as a guy?

00:23:48.720 There is a lot of research showing that swipe dating is causing serious mental health problems

00:23:54.740 for singles.

00:23:55.720 On average, users scroll through 20 hours per week.

00:23:59.740 Wow, I save a lot of time being in a real life.

00:24:03.100 20 hours.

00:24:04.120 Okay.

00:24:04.660 Which builds an addictive dopamine loop like drugs, alcohol, and gambling addictions.

00:24:10.700 People join these apps, start swiping.

00:24:12.860 When they get their first match, it fires a high-level dopamine rush to the brain.

00:24:16.940 From there, people keep swiping to choose to chase that high.

00:24:20.920 But there are a lot of reasons why they'll never achieve that feeling.

00:24:23.560 The problem is so bad that people are experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

00:24:28.340 Like twitching fingers when they don't use the apps.

00:24:32.760 Wow.

00:24:33.680 Isn't that bad out there?

00:24:35.260 Dang.

00:24:35.920 Okay.

00:24:36.920 If an online app truly has Christian values, they should take on added responsibility to

00:24:42.180 protect their users.

00:24:43.120 Unfortunately, that is often overlooked for a couple of reasons.

00:24:46.740 First, most secular dating apps don't take additional security steps because it's too

00:24:53.160 expensive or takes too many resources to implement.

00:24:56.060 Secondly, the secular apps aren't aware of the increased risk and therefore aren't even

00:25:01.200 aware of the magnitude of the problem.

00:25:03.140 The latter tends to be the case with smaller Christian dating apps that may have their hearts

00:25:08.340 in the right place but lack the industry knowledge to properly deliver a safe experience.

00:25:14.720 The question becomes, should singles even take a chance with online dating?

00:25:19.660 Okay.

00:25:22.520 What's the downside?

00:25:25.320 You might as well try it.

00:25:27.020 I'm not saying it'll work.

00:25:28.540 But all right.

00:25:29.380 Churches have learned to leverage technology in so many ways to better serve God's people.

00:25:33.620 In the right context, online dating can be an incredible way to help build relationships

00:25:37.260 that are truly Christ-centered.

00:25:39.680 But for that to be the case, two things need to change.

00:25:42.740 First, Christian singles need to start using dating apps that are built on biblical principles.

00:25:47.580 Single ministry leaders and pastors need to help steer singles to platforms that are Christian-led

00:25:56.520 and that take a provocative approach to both physical and spiritual safety of its users.

00:26:01.800 So again, this is them saying, use God to get women to stop being whores.

00:26:06.440 Have you guys dealt with a Christian woman?

00:26:12.900 How has that gone for you?

00:26:15.260 Have they been of higher quality?

00:26:17.060 When I start hearing the men saying the Christian women are of higher quality and great droves,

00:26:23.220 when the men say the best way to find a wife is church,

00:26:26.940 when I start seeing that, maybe I'll believe it.

00:26:30.620 But as of now, I don't see any evidence that there's like a buffer.

00:26:34.340 Secondly, we need to do a better job as a church in educating singles about the hidden dangers of online dating.

00:26:40.840 With simple education and knowledge,

00:26:43.340 Christian singles can be made more aware of potential risks of online dating

00:26:47.320 and how to avoid any situations that could be harmful to others.

00:26:52.720 Okay.

00:26:53.780 So if you guys have a question, comment, or concern,

00:26:56.680 make sure you either super chat or you go to the website and you get unlimited super chats there.

00:27:01.520 It's on the App Store.

00:27:02.300 You just download the app, get the monthly or yearly membership,

00:27:05.760 and then, yeah, and then you just put Pearl Reed.

00:27:10.380 Okay.

00:27:12.500 You are once again dead on.

00:27:15.020 Love it.

00:27:15.920 So sick of the simp world and all of its expectations.

00:27:18.820 I'm a Christian and would not touch Christianity 304 with a 10-foot pole.

00:27:24.180 I know it's even worse because at least you guys have the luxury of not knowing what your girls did in the past.

00:27:30.240 I know you all think you know, but you'll never really know, right?

00:27:34.380 We have way too much incentive to lie.

00:27:37.560 And so at least this way, if I'm being honest, you know, you can at least live in peace.

00:27:44.120 Like, you know, when you guys cheat and you like cheat, like we don't know.

00:27:47.700 At least we're happy and you guys cheat in peace and the women hide their dirt in peace.

00:27:53.220 But the Christian guys have to have the women talk about being whores in the form of testimony.

00:27:59.720 Oh, how do you guys get suckered into this?

00:28:06.420 So they have to give a testimony about being a whore.

00:28:09.480 So, yeah.

00:28:10.760 Anyways, that's even worse.

00:28:13.540 At least the secular men don't have to go through a humiliation ritual.

00:28:17.820 All for a girl with a Jesus cross necklace.

00:28:20.160 Did you have a boxing match with destiny?

00:28:28.020 No, I didn't.

00:28:30.680 Let's see.

00:28:31.320 I have come to believe that faith alone theology leads to the popularization of the cremation of care.

00:28:40.020 Joel says, I was also raised in the Catholic schools.

00:28:42.700 My wife is Anglican and she knows I don't care about her religion because I have been beasted by the beast.

00:28:48.560 Okay.

00:28:52.040 Curveball said, I've never wanted to risk getting an STD from an ugly skank.

00:28:56.340 Am I the only one?

00:28:58.380 Have you guys risked it?

00:28:59.520 I've seen a lot.

00:29:01.240 All right.

00:29:01.420 Doug MPA says, Mormon girls are the biggest whores when they get away from their families and most of them want to rebel by sleeping with a black guy.

00:29:08.780 Don't ask me how I know.

00:29:12.120 I'm happy for you, Doug MPA.

00:29:15.860 Okay.

00:29:16.300 Let me look on the other place.

00:29:22.640 Okay.

00:29:24.560 So now we're going back.

00:29:27.780 Here is a Christian couple talking about their experience on dating apps.

00:29:34.240 So let's go here.

00:29:35.540 All right.

00:29:39.220 So she's got the hoop earrings.

00:29:41.000 So I wouldn't put the former hoe past pastor.

00:29:45.020 What do you guys think?

00:29:46.300 Former hoe or no?

00:29:49.420 My name is Sam.

00:29:50.540 I'm Sadie.

00:29:51.380 So in today's video, we're going to talk about if dating apps are a good idea for Christians.

00:29:56.640 I'm going to give my nightmare stories.

00:29:59.180 If dating apps are a good idea, which dating apps should you choose?

00:30:03.400 Okay.

00:30:03.900 So I never use dating apps personally.

00:30:06.700 So I spend my time in preparing for this video looking at statistics.

00:30:11.240 Because I already counted and looked at numbers.

00:30:14.620 What I found was in 2022, there was a study done.

00:30:18.200 And out of all the dating apps, out of everyone that uses the dating apps, only 12% of the

00:30:24.700 people on the apps actually find love and get married to the people.

00:30:28.540 And that wasn't a study for the Christian.

00:30:30.320 Well, people aren't really getting married altogether.

00:30:33.000 You know what I mean?

00:30:33.940 This guy is softer than her.

00:30:36.300 I know that's how you can tell in a relationship is who talks first.

00:30:39.600 You know, when people ask the couples a question, does she look to him or does he look to her?

00:30:46.040 That's who runs the relationship.

00:30:47.900 So I would imagine that that was a ton lower when you said.

00:30:52.240 Just imagine how many fewer people, because there are not a whole lot of Christians on

00:30:56.840 said dating apps, I can tell you.

00:30:58.700 I was never against dating apps for other people, but for me, it just wasn't.

00:31:04.140 If you want to date a former sex, drug, and gambling addict, go to church, just like Russell

00:31:10.540 Brand.

00:31:12.800 What I wanted to do.

00:31:14.180 And I was beginning.

00:31:15.120 I know.

00:31:15.500 I mean, there's too much incentive.

00:31:17.500 Like, all you have to do is dunk your head in water and then you're free of all everything

00:31:23.280 bad you've ever done.

00:31:24.480 And nobody can judge you for it.

00:31:26.020 And if they do judge you for it, they're not real Christians.

00:31:30.800 I mean, that sounds like an awesome place.

00:31:32.800 I can literally do anything and they have to like me.

00:31:38.200 Pig.

00:31:38.760 So I will tell you guys a little bit about my own nightmare experience on these dating

00:31:43.900 apps.

00:31:44.440 So probably when I think of horror stories on.

00:31:48.040 Jacob, the bigger the hoop, the bigger the hoe.

00:31:52.020 Well, she doesn't have too big of a hoop.

00:31:54.540 Dating apps.

00:31:55.200 I think of one specific example.

00:31:57.960 So that one example involved me meeting someone and they claim to be a Christian.

00:32:07.560 And so, you know, we talk a little bit.

00:32:09.900 Then we ended up planning to go to the beach.

00:32:14.420 And we were.

00:32:14.740 They said the biggest red flag in a woman is finding God late in life.

00:32:19.240 What is too late?

00:32:20.760 When is it?

00:32:21.420 When is it too late for a woman to find God?

00:32:23.800 Could you make a poll in the chat?

00:32:27.080 Is it too late at let's do let's do 20?

00:32:31.820 Is that too late?

00:32:33.040 Let's do 25.

00:32:35.640 Let's do 30 and 35 plus.

00:32:40.640 Just going to walk and talk and just kind of get to know each other that way.

00:32:45.160 And so we ended up walking down the beach for probably about, you know, a mile or.

00:32:51.100 Joel says he's a simp.

00:32:52.800 Well, but this is the archetype, right?

00:32:55.720 Like a guy like this.

00:32:57.680 Let's say this girl threw it back in college, but she is cute enough.

00:33:02.660 I mean, do you guys really not?

00:33:04.460 I mean, was she really a virgin?

00:33:06.880 She did nothing.

00:33:10.740 I don't really.

00:33:11.700 I and she.

00:33:14.520 I'd have to see what age they got married, but I'm going to be the cynic.

00:33:17.900 He's not going to he's not going to be smart enough to figure that out in general, my opinion.

00:33:26.700 So, you know, Doug MPA says the final stop on the whore train is church.

00:33:32.040 It seemed like things were going OK.

00:33:36.060 Then she starts cussing.

00:33:38.380 And for those of you in the north, she starts cursing.

00:33:41.560 And so we're walking down the beach and I'm already like, oh, dear, this is not good.

00:33:47.540 This person already is not who.

00:33:49.960 Wait, not find love.

00:33:51.340 I said God.

00:33:53.520 Yeah, God.

00:33:54.260 They represented themselves to be.

00:33:56.920 And then I start talking about God.

00:34:01.000 And, you know, this person, she's got kind of these like vague views about God.

00:34:08.180 And I kind of more and more, the more questions that I ask, the more I'm like, you know, this

00:34:15.100 girl doesn't really believe the kind of things that I believe.

00:34:18.980 And then I start mentioning Jesus, not just kind of like this vague, you know, like God.

00:34:26.280 And then she starts talking about because I asked her, you know, what kind of relationship

00:34:33.240 you have with God?

00:34:34.120 What kind of relationship do you have with Jesus?

00:34:37.040 And she looks at me and she says something.

00:34:40.960 I mean, it's it's almost it's almost meme worthy.

00:34:43.460 But she looks at me and she's like, yeah, I I don't really do anything related to God

00:34:49.960 other than like maybe if I really like need to like something like sometimes I just talk

00:34:56.360 to God when I'm in really big trouble.

00:34:58.560 And then like, you know, otherwise I don't really do anything like basically he's like

00:35:03.760 my personal like help genie or whatever.

00:35:06.700 And she did not like say it like it was a joke or like it was a bad thing.

00:35:10.400 She was like, this is a perfectly normal thing.

00:35:13.720 Oh, this was this is the craziest thing.

00:35:15.640 The craziest thing was I asked her, you know, like Tommy Lauren doesn't like holding women

00:35:21.400 accountable.

00:35:22.580 No.

00:35:22.940 And you can kind of tell the way he talks.

00:35:26.640 He's a bit feminine.

00:35:27.660 Right.

00:35:28.600 And I'm telling you, that's like the archetype of dudes in church.

00:35:33.320 I mean, there's some.

00:35:36.700 How many church guys have the balls to tell their like, does this guy have the balls to

00:35:41.600 tell her to shut the fuck up?

00:35:44.700 That's my that's my lit.

00:35:47.280 What do I say?

00:35:48.520 Litmus.

00:35:49.180 Litmus test.

00:35:49.940 Because if you don't have the balls to tell her no, then you're basically a woman.

00:35:56.140 And I understand why men are afraid to tell women no.

00:36:00.340 I mean, we're pretty like we can go to pretty extreme lengths when we don't get what we want.

00:36:06.160 I understand it.

00:36:07.820 But I would just advise you if you can't tell her no, I would just be by yourself because

00:36:13.680 either she's insane and that like, I don't think you might have to learn that skill and

00:36:23.380 maybe come back in a few years.

00:36:25.200 Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior.

00:36:26.940 Because at this point, I'm questioning every single aspect of, you know, this girl's faith.

00:36:31.360 Okay, so the.

00:36:35.920 I'll wait.

00:36:36.800 Guys, vote in the poll.

00:36:37.940 To me that while she may not be perfect, that the idea of her is perfect.

00:36:47.080 And so she does not actually need a savior.

00:36:50.280 Wow.

00:36:50.680 And at that point, I looked at her and I said, I do not believe that we're worshiping the

00:36:57.100 same God.

00:36:58.480 And she was so mad that she legitimately told me to get away from her.

00:37:05.660 We had like a mild walk back.

00:37:07.840 And so she tells me, I want you to be like 30 yards that way.

00:37:13.140 And so we're literally just on like other sides of the beach, just like walking back.

00:37:18.040 And she, I mean, yeah, she was just like, she booked it basically to the parking lot.

00:37:23.920 And I want to know what college this woman went to.

00:37:27.360 What college were you at?

00:37:29.160 Better have been small.

00:37:30.520 I just remember being like, wow, like this is real.

00:37:34.980 Pearl, you're not talking about actual Christians.

00:37:37.460 We don't put up with disrespectful behavior from women.

00:37:43.140 See, this is again, this is again, this is what you guys do.

00:37:50.560 This is why you guys drive me nuts.

00:37:52.220 You guys think that you somehow your religion is a buffer for human behavior.

00:37:57.760 Whenever you get a group of guys, about half of them are afraid of women.

00:38:02.980 About half.

00:38:04.100 Okay.

00:38:05.220 That does.

00:38:06.020 It doesn't matter what group you go to.

00:38:08.420 The difference is what the Christians do is you get to get out.

00:38:12.020 The reason it's worse in church is you get the get out of jail free card.

00:38:16.620 And they have so much ego in thinking that their religion is a buffer to these behaviors.

00:38:23.220 That they fall for anything.

00:38:25.420 And even if they do get caught, they just got to dunk their head again, say sorry, and boom, back at it.

00:38:32.160 I mean, that's how this happens.

00:38:33.420 It's like a circle, right?

00:38:35.060 Really, really not working out.

00:38:37.020 And then, and then whenever I say, okay, well, that guy did this.

00:38:40.720 You guys have the same thing.

00:38:42.020 You guys think that you get to determine who's a real Christian and who's not.

00:38:45.820 What are, now you're God.

00:38:47.180 Now you're Jesus Christ himself.

00:38:49.160 Now it's you.

00:38:50.320 No.

00:38:50.940 Okay.

00:38:51.280 People are people.

00:38:52.440 And that's a, do you know what?

00:38:53.480 Whenever something crazy, my dad, I grew up Catholic, right?

00:38:57.040 And whenever something crazy I would find out about, I'd be like, dad, can you believe this person did that?

00:39:02.240 Did it?

00:39:02.600 And do you know what he would say?

00:39:04.340 He would say, I'm not surprised.

00:39:06.420 People are people.

00:39:08.520 Yeah.

00:39:10.260 The whole dating app thing.

00:39:12.080 So would you say for a Christian like.

00:39:14.760 Pearl, you're really good at criticizing the current state Western church.

00:39:18.160 You got a super chat.

00:39:19.200 Okay.

00:39:19.520 I can't believe you guys are asking me these questions for free.

00:39:22.500 I'm going to answer it.

00:39:23.520 Pearl, you're really good at criticizing the current state in Western churches like Catholics and Protestants.

00:39:29.040 What do you think will fill the void?

00:39:30.340 Are we all going to hell?

00:39:31.300 I don't think everyone's going to hell.

00:39:32.980 But I think every generation has a different set of problems.

00:39:35.800 And I don't think God's going to fix these.

00:39:37.720 I think the birth rate's going to go down.

00:39:40.380 If you have kids, they probably won't have kids.

00:39:43.320 If they do have kids, it's like one or two.

00:39:46.500 And, you know, and you got to figure it out for yourself.

00:39:52.960 But most people won't.

00:39:54.420 It's worth it to try on there.

00:39:56.700 Or is it just like so.

00:39:59.140 All right, ladies, you got till 35 to find God for 41% of men.

00:40:06.520 You got you got although 23% think you're too far gone by 20, 20% say 25, 16% say 30.

00:40:16.300 To find love that you should just stay away.

00:40:19.720 So, first off, there are examples of people finding love on dating apps.

00:40:25.180 I know that Paul and Morgan actually met, I believe.

00:40:28.360 Yeah, see, again, this is where we're going back to.

00:40:31.020 Christian women can't help but use their relationship and family for clout.

00:40:35.900 They can't help it.

00:40:36.940 It's like asking a Christian woman to keep her family private would be, I'm trying to think of the equivalent.

00:40:46.220 It would be like me putting a steak in front of my dog, Ellie, and telling her not to eat it.

00:40:52.240 Won't ever happen.

00:40:53.560 Never.

00:40:54.020 I'm tender of all places.

00:40:55.180 And I'm going to talk a little bit about tender and the kind of the image that that has.

00:41:02.560 Obviously, I did not use tender the way that a lot of people use tender.

00:41:07.040 And then Nate and Sutton also.

00:41:08.680 Yeah.

00:41:09.000 And then Nate and Sutton kind of indirectly met on there.

00:41:11.740 In order to really answer your question, first we need to talk about the dangers of these dating apps.

00:41:19.280 Before you can actually get into, you know, which dating apps or, you know, if any dating apps at all are worth your time.

00:41:26.620 For me, I feel like using dating apps, you kind of get very...

00:41:31.000 Now, is she hot enough?

00:41:33.500 I guess she's got the long hair, good enough face.

00:41:37.380 She's hot enough to get around the dating apps.

00:41:40.100 Now, she probably was, anyways, five years ago.

00:41:46.180 If she was back, eh.

00:41:47.580 But...

00:41:48.940 Or maybe socially calibrated, she...

00:41:53.000 Look.

00:41:56.120 The mids, you got to get on.

00:41:58.320 Sorry, ladies.

00:41:59.280 You're just...

00:42:00.180 If you're not hot enough, the men aren't approaching you in real life.

00:42:03.320 It might be time to download an app or start approaching yourself.

00:42:06.840 The men are done with our BS.

00:42:08.840 Do you know what I mean?

00:42:09.480 Very, very invested in the idea of it.

00:42:12.560 Oh, she's not a three.

00:42:14.140 Show me your girlfriend, then.

00:42:15.820 Show me the girl you're...

00:42:16.960 Look, I'm all for rating women, but that's not a three.

00:42:21.120 Okay, that's...

00:42:22.800 She's like a five.

00:42:25.960 When she was young, she's probably a six.

00:42:28.240 She's like five.

00:42:29.060 She's got nice hair.

00:42:30.420 If it's real, I'll give her a six.

00:42:32.120 Okay, five, five, five, six.

00:42:34.880 That's like her rating.

00:42:35.960 Kind of becomes a game on your phone in a way.

00:42:39.040 Does that make sense?

00:42:39.840 Oh, yeah.

00:42:40.400 So I feel like you're kind of...

00:42:42.440 Oh, she's not a four point five.

00:42:45.120 She will be in 10 years, though.

00:42:46.880 Yeah.

00:42:47.460 Replacing the need to go out and meet people with the...

00:42:50.520 I didn't say an eight.

00:42:52.040 They said she's a mid.

00:42:54.180 What is a five?

00:42:55.580 Yeah, that you're going to meet someone online.

00:42:57.620 And just the kind of like gambling, the what if, like, oh my goodness, what if I do meet

00:43:03.080 someone on here?

00:43:03.700 So you spend so much time swiping, swiping, swiping, and you're wasting time where you

00:43:09.520 could be going out, going to small groups, visiting churches, having your friends, you

00:43:14.240 know, introduce you to people if they know people.

00:43:16.300 For dating apps, just like at a casino, the goal for these companies that make the dating

00:43:21.880 apps is not for you to get off of the dating apps because guess how they make money? By

00:43:26.980 keeping you single.

00:43:27.940 If you are not single, if you are in a relationship, unless you're a horrible person, you will get

00:43:33.260 off of the dating apps.

00:43:34.640 So why would they ever be incentivized to help you actually find the person that you're going

00:43:42.000 to spend the rest of your life with?

00:43:43.700 Another aspect.

00:43:45.080 Yeah, you're not going to find someone that you're going to spend the rest of your life

00:43:48.660 with.

00:43:48.920 Maybe the next decade.

00:43:54.000 Occasionally, some of you will get lucky, but just odds are, do you know what I mean?

00:43:59.440 Can we just be realistic here?

00:44:00.980 Can we just be, we're on a subscription model, unfortunately.

00:44:06.100 Look, I didn't create this society, but I'm just being realistic.

00:44:09.920 I even see like people in their fifties and sixties getting divorced nowadays.

00:44:14.560 John says, having grown up in the church, I can tell you there's no difference between

00:44:17.860 the world and the church, which is a shame.

00:44:19.940 They use that Twinkie as much as non-Christians to get their way.

00:44:24.060 Yeah.

00:44:24.240 The number one rated reason for people leaving the church is hypocrisy because it's what they

00:44:29.740 do is they sell you a dream and they sell you a dream that this church is special and

00:44:35.040 different.

00:44:35.620 It's not.

00:44:36.800 The thing that I think is troubling for Christians is the level of temptation that you have when

00:44:42.680 you get on the apps.

00:44:44.520 Girls are obviously posting, they're putting their best foot forward, which is not really

00:44:50.080 their best foot forward.

00:44:50.360 It's not always their foot.

00:44:51.620 Yeah.

00:44:52.440 So typically sometimes not all the time.

00:44:56.040 Yeah.

00:44:56.740 So now this is what the, the Christian guys don't understand.

00:45:04.500 If you're going on a date with a woman, you should want her to dress a little slutty with

00:45:09.640 you.

00:45:11.120 Like if she's covering up, I'm going to be, that's not a good sign.

00:45:15.420 Fellas know like, okay, if a girl's, what she's trying to do, if she's like covering up

00:45:24.020 is she's trying to sell purity.

00:45:25.960 And so she views you as the provider, like long-term guy.

00:45:29.860 Like, so you have to understand what women, like the way we dress up, it's not really based

00:45:34.740 on our morals, right?

00:45:35.880 You gotta, we gotta stop acting like we have morals.

00:45:38.240 It's based on what we're trying to sell.

00:45:40.320 Right?

00:45:40.540 So there's women that dress like complete sluts that maybe aren't, they don't have a

00:45:45.200 high body count, but they like to get the resources bait.

00:45:48.920 Like our whole nature is just deceiving men.

00:45:53.140 So at least if she's, at least if she's getting naked, you know, sex is on the table or might

00:46:01.960 be on the table.

00:46:02.720 You don't know.

00:46:03.340 Right.

00:46:03.720 Like, but I don't, I, I generally think like if a girl's going on a date and she's, you

00:46:11.800 know, dressing, she doesn't have to, it doesn't be crazy, but showing a little more skin.

00:46:16.880 She's trying to be sexual with you.

00:46:19.280 I mean, isn't that what you guys, I know the Christian guys, they get bamboozled.

00:46:24.380 This is how, this is, this is how they get them.

00:46:27.500 Cause the women, they never, you'll notice that the Christian guys, they never knew their

00:46:32.140 wives in college ever, ever.

00:46:34.240 It's like very convenient.

00:46:35.540 Right.

00:46:35.880 So the women can come in and just say, Oh, I did nothing.

00:46:39.820 And the guys, you know, look at his face.

00:46:41.940 He's just going to believe it.

00:46:43.100 He's going to eat that right up.

00:46:44.500 Right.

00:46:45.320 And so what happens is then the women see them as like a provider long-term, not necessarily

00:46:52.700 a bad thing, but the thing is, if she's using sex in the beginning against you to get

00:47:00.040 what she wants, there's a reason that the married Christian women or husbands are the

00:47:06.980 ones that like, that are buying the only fans.

00:47:09.140 It's because they're teaching women to weaponize sex, to get what they want.

00:47:14.980 Right.

00:47:15.320 Like, do you know what's crazy?

00:47:17.300 My mother, she told me in her high school, she had like two people that had a shotgun

00:47:20.720 wedding, you know, like two, two in her high school, they got teen pregnancy.

00:47:25.680 Right.

00:47:26.700 Guess who's still together to this day?

00:47:30.660 Both of us.

00:47:31.380 Isn't that nuts?

00:47:32.320 Like, wouldn't it make, wouldn't you rather as a guy be the guy that she does it with on

00:47:37.560 the first day or at least sooner than she normally would.

00:47:41.160 And it's not really a big deal as long as she doesn't leave.

00:47:44.220 It's like the leaving that does it.

00:47:46.200 Right.

00:47:47.900 Anyway, so Christian women, they have a tendency to live in like fear.

00:47:51.880 They're always, they want to be in, in control and the, what they view, they view religion

00:47:56.480 as a way to absolve them from like a burden of performance as a woman.

00:48:02.520 And you're also at, from, um, they use it to absolve them of anything going wrong.

00:48:08.180 So if I just wait till marriage, you'll never leave me.

00:48:11.340 That's a pretty good deal.

00:48:12.900 Right.

00:48:13.800 I don't, I, all I have to do is not have sex and do the bare minimum to get in the door.

00:48:20.120 I don't have to try to be better in bed.

00:48:23.120 I don't have to try to be a good cook.

00:48:24.880 All I have to do is not have sex and you will never leave.

00:48:29.400 That's a pretty good, it absolves her of a burden of competition.

00:48:36.240 Right.

00:48:37.460 Um, and if, as long as I just wait to have the sex, then nothing can go wrong.

00:48:44.620 Um, and so a lot of conservative women, what you get is they're very like in fear of what

00:48:50.720 could go wrong and they're very controlling.

00:48:54.640 Now, liberal women, I, you know, the reason I go in so hard on the conservative, I just

00:48:59.680 know them really well.

00:49:00.740 This is what I grew up around.

00:49:03.520 Now, liberal women have their own set of problems, but I don't really hang out with them too much.

00:49:08.760 Girls will post themselves in very immodest clothing and guys will, you know, do the same.

00:49:15.660 They'll be shirtless on the beach with a beer in their hand or something.

00:49:19.920 Pearl Reed.

00:49:20.560 I was raised in a Plymouth church or Plymouth brethren church where women didn't speak during

00:49:26.880 the service and wore mostly head coverings.

00:49:29.380 And yet I still saw a woman divorce her husband for an old guy.

00:49:33.640 I, yeah, again, it's, nobody likes the uncomfortable truth of the burden of performance, right?

00:49:42.240 And the uncomfortable truth is that women, we're going to get old and ugly and the men

00:49:47.040 are going to want to have sex with the young women and you're going to have to figure out

00:49:51.540 how to keep him from doing that for a lifetime.

00:49:54.760 And if he can get away with it, he's probably going to do it.

00:49:58.240 That's, that's an uncomfortable truth where you have to be so nice to him.

00:50:02.940 That he doesn't wander.

00:50:06.740 On the other hand, men, the burden of performance is if she can do better, she's going to do it.

00:50:12.080 So you got to figure out how to be the best that she can do.

00:50:15.900 Nobody likes these burdens of performance, right?

00:50:18.760 They kind of suck.

00:50:19.500 So we both, we both try to kind of get out of it, right?

00:50:23.900 Where the men, they're like, I want this virgin wife who will just never leave.

00:50:27.460 If she's just a virgin and young, she'll never leave me.

00:50:30.700 Boy, boy, boy, they'll do the same shit, same shit, different day, right?

00:50:35.960 Where the women will say, well, if I just get this nice church guy, then I'll be in love

00:50:41.620 with him forever.

00:50:42.680 And that's what they do.

00:50:43.640 They do that.

00:50:44.100 We do our rationalization where we convince ourselves we love him.

00:50:47.320 Um, and we might for a little bit, the way we like feel at the time, but then, you know,

00:50:53.700 you know, we think that Jesus cross posting is good enough instead of being a good wife.

00:50:59.320 Um, she says, I bet she'll have a list for him.

00:51:02.740 Anyways, I'll read this.

00:51:05.360 Um, uh, let me see.

00:51:13.540 She's unattractive because of her attitude and the way she holds herself.

00:51:17.120 If we take that away, she's maybe a five or a six.

00:51:19.540 Uh, cause she's boring.

00:51:22.580 They're saying, okay, let's see what else we got.

00:51:27.560 Look at the men are kind of generous.

00:51:29.200 They give us till 35 to find God.

00:51:31.440 Maybe I could be a born again virgin next year.

00:51:36.860 Oh, I'll tell my boyfriend.

00:51:40.560 Oh God, he would never.

00:51:42.120 Um, the story of Adam and Eve is about showing discipline with new knowledge.

00:51:45.460 Like children, we cannot discipline ourselves on a dating app.

00:51:48.400 So damn, I'm going to shag all my matches.

00:51:52.420 You might as well like get, this is the thing.

00:51:54.840 The only place, you know, men are the only creatures on this planet that they can convince

00:52:00.860 them to do something that they get nothing out of.

00:52:04.600 Like men are the ones who will take a job that they get nothing out of.

00:52:11.440 Women will quit that job tomorrow and go follow our like passion.

00:52:15.460 Right.

00:52:15.980 We'll just be like, ah, I mean, even me, I was in a sales job and I said, no, I'm going

00:52:20.300 to be a YouTuber.

00:52:21.300 And somehow it worked out.

00:52:23.300 I don't know how, but it really did.

00:52:25.760 Women don't follow my path.

00:52:27.520 It probably won't for you.

00:52:28.720 But if you want to learn how to do it, I do have it behind my paywall on my website.

00:52:33.060 It's going to be everything you need to know about doing it is on there.

00:52:36.760 But, um, anyways, men with marriage, like they'll get a wife that looks like this and

00:52:45.820 yeah, she's cute.

00:52:46.600 And they'll get sex once a month, sometimes less.

00:52:51.460 They'll get like one kid that hates them because the mom's always in her ear.

00:52:55.540 And they're like, this is enough for me.

00:53:01.380 And, but they don't ever think, I don't know what it is.

00:53:03.940 Men are just better creatures.

00:53:05.580 And they have this duty thing.

00:53:07.000 I get it.

00:53:07.400 I get it.

00:53:07.880 But sometimes I wish they had less of that because they create, I mean, it's not really

00:53:14.800 their fault to be fair, but it, it adds to the problem, right?

00:53:20.380 It just doesn't get the best impression, but I think that it kind of opens up a level

00:53:26.560 of temptation in my opinion, because you're able to look at people all day.

00:53:31.820 Less than once a month.

00:53:33.020 Yeah.

00:53:33.120 I talked to guys that would get it like once a year, some multiple years.

00:53:37.880 And they didn't even cheat.

00:53:39.880 It's like at that point, you might as well start cheating.

00:53:43.380 You're able to look at what they look like.

00:53:45.900 You're able to meet up with them if you want to, if you want to just dip your toe in the

00:53:50.020 water.

00:53:50.500 And I just think that is something, if you're struggling with that on dating apps, flee

00:53:54.780 from that.

00:53:55.360 Get away from that.

00:53:57.000 God is not going to bless you.

00:53:58.900 I don't think if you're doing that.

00:54:01.200 The Bible literally tells us that if Satan, it like literally were to show up at your driveway,

00:54:07.100 basically, if he was to show up anywhere, that you're supposed to stand strong, that you're

00:54:10.840 supposed to stand in the armor of God, that you're supposed to face him.

00:54:13.860 But when the Bible talks about sexual temptation, it says flee.

00:54:18.220 It says literally run away from there.

00:54:20.500 Because our bodies, we were designed for sexual attraction and only in the context of marriage.

00:54:28.140 And so when you see girls on a dating app, or if you're a woman, if you see guys on a

00:54:34.800 dating app and you struggle with pornography, like I used to struggle with pornography, that

00:54:39.640 kind of thing, it's like a gateway, even if you've never had that.

00:54:42.780 Yeah.

00:54:43.220 So here's the problem.

00:54:44.220 So how does a guy have leverage?

00:54:48.380 Now she's got 100% control of sex.

00:54:51.340 If she's being a bitch, he has to appease her because he can't even go watch corn.

00:54:57.000 He can't even, it's like, they just want men to take L's.

00:55:01.220 Then the other thing is they say that sexual attraction isn't important.

00:55:05.780 And then they wonder, like, this is how the, when you start thinking about it, it's so obvious

00:55:11.000 how Christian married men are the number one ones buying OnlyFans.

00:55:15.440 And I've talked to the OnlyFans models, they'll tell you this, you guys are targets, and it's

00:55:21.140 because they just shame the male sex drive.

00:55:24.660 That's really what they do.

00:55:27.300 Because they want the woman to be in control of the male sex drive.

00:55:31.060 Can you imagine being so cucked, you can't even watch corn in your own house?

00:55:35.600 And like, you have to sleep with her, even if she's being a, yeah, a bitch.

00:55:40.380 Before it just, it triggers something that you are.

00:55:44.280 And she's trying, she's starting to reveal her list.

00:55:47.400 Curveballs, expand on that.

00:55:49.580 Not supposed to have triggered.

00:55:51.580 And it can make it so that you either relapse or it could be a gateway into something way more.

00:55:57.260 And since you're in the privacy of your own home or wherever, like she was saying.

00:56:01.020 Faisal says, my religion promises 72 virgins.

00:56:04.540 I said, keep them for yourself.

00:56:06.060 I'm good with the Mormons and white chicks I smash in real life.

00:56:09.580 I don't wait for heaven.

00:56:10.800 I live like a god now.

00:56:14.280 And stare as long as you want.

00:56:15.700 Because out on the street, you can't just go, you know, staring down somebody that might be dressed immodestly.

00:56:21.740 I also think that unhealthy behaviors do develop when you're having people of the opposite sex just affirm you and compliment you all the time.

00:56:31.980 I think that that can become addicting.

00:56:34.280 Oh, yeah.

00:56:34.580 And self-esteem can be based in that.

00:56:36.180 And I just don't think that that is a, I don't think it's healthy.

00:56:39.620 Oh, 100%.

00:56:40.520 And it, you know, the last point that I was going to make before we start talking about the individual apps is that it is such a burden on your self-esteem.

00:56:50.940 It becomes such an addiction.

00:56:52.540 It becomes such a part of your life.

00:56:55.260 Almost just like a social media.

00:56:57.320 Imagine what social media does to you.

00:56:59.280 Because a lot of people feel like Instagram or Facebook or whatever, like, kind of ruins your life.

00:57:05.100 Imagine that, except the only way that somebody follows you is if they find you physically attractive or think that you could be a potential mate.

00:57:15.020 Yeah.

00:57:15.260 God, they just want men to get cucked.

00:57:22.020 Like, I swear to God.

00:57:23.560 If you factor that in, imagine how much more depressing it gets.

00:57:28.140 Do you not want your wife to find you hot?

00:57:31.920 I don't know.

00:57:33.020 Am I, isn't that kind of the bare minimum, right?

00:57:36.900 You think that, wow, okay, so nobody really wants to spend the rest of their life with me.

00:57:43.100 No one values me in that way.

00:57:45.700 Your self-esteem gets tied up in it.

00:57:47.620 Next thing you know, you're getting notifications on your phone and you're literally, like, you have to stop whatever else you're doing because that just becomes such an idol in your life.

00:57:57.400 So, now that we've discussed some of the dangers of being on dating apps, I'm going to just give a brief rundown of my experience on these dating apps to tell you which ones are the ones that if you are going to.

00:58:08.940 If you're like, listen, Sam, Sadie, like, I know that you guys are warning me, but my mind is set, or my heart is set, like, I'm going to do this.

00:58:17.940 I'm going to just tell you which ones you should actually bother trying.

00:58:21.960 First of all, I will talk about Tinder.

00:58:24.480 Now, Tinder gets a really, really bad rap and everybody will tell you, oh, it's just a hookup app.

00:58:29.540 It's just a hookup app.

00:58:30.560 And while absolutely it is predominantly a hookup app, there are some...

00:58:38.100 I actually know a decent amount of couples that met on Tinder.

00:58:42.480 I'm not saying do it or don't do it.

00:58:44.660 Recently, I've heard a decent amount of couples.

00:58:48.940 Scenarios...

00:58:49.380 I don't know how they started, right?

00:58:50.820 Maybe it started that way.

00:58:52.040 I don't know.

00:58:52.440 ...where it actually has worked out for people.

00:58:54.940 The reason that I will absolutely never recommend Tinder to anyone is because the temptation to do something other than what you set out to do as a Christian on Tinder is way too strong.

00:59:08.780 What's different between Tinder and the others?

00:59:12.000 Okay.

00:59:12.380 Like, what's actually...

00:59:14.280 In just the creation of the app, what's different?

00:59:16.820 Well, Tinder is much more about, like, for example...

00:59:21.340 Pearl, please make the simp stop.

00:59:23.220 I can't.

00:59:24.040 I can't.

00:59:25.000 No.

00:59:25.380 Okay.

00:59:25.620 Do you know what?

00:59:27.040 They can't help it.

00:59:28.300 They, like...

00:59:29.260 Men just have to go through it.

00:59:30.980 They have to.

00:59:32.940 Some men are natural, so it's not most.

00:59:35.220 I mean, the same way women...

00:59:37.800 I mean, we got to get our ego killed at some point.

00:59:41.000 I mean, they make the pictures way bigger than any kind of bio or anything like that.

00:59:45.860 They're way less...

00:59:47.220 Like, you don't have to put in nearly as much information.

00:59:50.080 There's way more, like, ability to remain anonymous.

00:59:53.220 It's way more shallow-minded.

00:59:54.540 Way more...

00:59:55.100 It's way more shallow-minded, for sure.

00:59:57.480 Part of the reason that I even tried it in the first place is because so many people are

01:00:02.440 on the app that it keeps you thinking...

01:00:04.920 And by the way, guys, we're going to do a call-in later.

01:00:07.780 So we're going to...

01:00:09.000 I want to know your experience, if you've ever done Christian, like, dating apps and what's

01:00:14.540 that...

01:00:14.880 That's been like.

01:00:15.640 Thinking that there is the possibility that somebody eventually that is the right person

01:00:20.940 is going to show up.

01:00:22.800 It never happens.

01:00:24.500 Just a spoiler alert.

01:00:26.560 But there is so much temptation, if you're a Christian, that I would stay very far away

01:00:33.440 from Tinder.

01:00:34.440 Kind of the two, you know, really big names when it comes to dating apps.

01:00:39.320 Bumble is a lot better than Tinder as far as people that are actually serious about finding

01:00:46.300 a relationship, I think.

01:00:47.860 Typically, from what I have found, at least from the men's perspective, is they're usually

01:00:53.880 more like mid-20s kind of women that already kind of have a career figured out, that are

01:01:00.500 trying to kind of settle down.

01:01:02.860 So it's a lot more conservative.

01:01:05.400 It's still horrible, and it will still end up leaving you probably feeling really, really

01:01:11.820 messed up.

01:01:12.940 The catch for Bumble that's different than any other dating app is that the woman has

01:01:18.680 to send...

01:01:19.680 That's what I was going to ask.

01:01:20.260 Yes, the woman has to send the first message.

01:01:23.480 Which becomes dangerous for guys, I think, because you're going to be consuming that, and

01:01:28.640 your ego is just going to be...

01:01:30.580 Oh, except that that's not what happens, though.

01:01:34.100 Unless your DMs are just dry.

01:01:35.980 Oh, yeah.

01:01:39.220 She's so out of touch.

01:01:40.360 Well, I'll tell you right now that what generally happens, and I've known multiple guys that

01:01:45.960 have been on Bumble, is that girls will match just to get their self-esteem up, and then

01:01:53.540 they just never send a message, and that happens about probably 90% of the time.

01:01:58.520 Bumble is definitely a better option than Tinder, but even still, I would not give it a very high

01:02:04.260 rating at all.

01:02:05.420 The next one that we're going to talk about is Hinge.

01:02:07.860 That's...

01:02:09.060 I've heard the best things from Hinge the last couple of years.

01:02:12.740 Hinge is probably the closest to an actual social media app that it could possibly get

01:02:21.800 to, because they will give you...

01:02:24.040 They'll give you a bunch of prompts, and then they'll give you a bunch of pictures.

01:02:27.300 They'll go through and say, you know, hey, do you drink?

01:02:30.400 Do you smoke?

01:02:31.280 What are your beliefs?

01:02:32.500 They'll give you an option to say, I'm a Christian.

01:02:34.800 I'm...

01:02:35.600 See, this is where the dating apps get wrong.

01:02:38.120 They're like, you think you can get to women's beliefs by asking them?

01:02:49.140 You don't understand women.

01:02:51.180 You know...

01:02:51.720 We just say things.

01:02:52.720 We don't even know what we believe.

01:02:54.000 We believe one thing one day and one another.

01:02:56.420 It's like, I'm looking for a woman with morals.

01:02:58.340 So you want a man.

01:03:01.600 So you're gay.

01:03:02.760 Like, you basically want a guy.

01:03:05.460 I'm Buddhist.

01:03:06.780 I'm whatever.

01:03:07.360 So you can really know what you're getting yourself into.

01:03:10.720 Now, I have to think about this, okay?

01:03:13.900 Would most women, about 500 years ago in, like, Greece or something, your choice as a woman,

01:03:20.220 you basically had to be a sex slave or go work in, like, the heat in Egypt.

01:03:26.660 It was...

01:03:26.980 I have some outdoor job for years, right?

01:03:29.300 Terrible, gruesome job.

01:03:31.100 Do you think most women in that situation would just go be the sex slave?

01:03:36.240 Frickin' we all would.

01:03:37.780 Rather than work a grueling job for, like, 50 years.

01:03:42.220 I mean, I wouldn't...

01:03:43.600 It wouldn't be my first choice.

01:03:45.160 But in that situation, when you think about it like that, women have situational morals.

01:03:52.580 I mean, at some point in history, women literally got killed by one guy and had to go fall in love

01:03:58.460 with the next other.

01:03:59.420 Otherwise, we die.

01:04:00.560 This is what we had to do historically, okay?

01:04:03.820 We were in our tribe.

01:04:05.140 We were hanging out.

01:04:05.980 We were in love with our husband.

01:04:07.240 We're like, this is amazing.

01:04:08.700 What a great life.

01:04:10.520 I'm, like, tiki-tiki-ing it or whatever.

01:04:12.600 Then one guy comes in and says, I want this land.

01:04:16.720 And your guy says, no, you can't have this land.

01:04:18.600 And he said, too bad.

01:04:19.720 Boom.

01:04:20.120 He gets...

01:04:20.540 Your husband's dead.

01:04:21.960 And then now you have to sleep with the new guy and love him and be loyal to him and watch

01:04:28.300 him kill your children.

01:04:29.680 And we had to do it.

01:04:32.880 We literally had to do it.

01:04:35.660 Otherwise, we died.

01:04:38.660 And you want a woman with morals.

01:04:40.920 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:04:48.040 Before you end up making a decision, the thing with Hinge that makes it better to me than

01:04:55.000 a lot of the other apps out there is that they'll give you prompts and you're able to

01:04:59.240 actually react to a person's prompts rather than just say, okay, I'm just going to swipe

01:05:04.300 through this person's pictures.

01:05:05.780 So they might ask a question and then you can reply to that question.

01:05:09.980 And then depending on how you reply to that question, they can decide, okay, do I want

01:05:14.280 to contact this person back?

01:05:16.380 I think it inspires a lot more actual thoughtful conversation.

01:05:22.400 And it's a lot more like meeting on an Instagram rather than actually meeting on an actual dating

01:05:30.240 app.

01:05:30.700 I would say that probably the least horrible people that I have met during my time on

01:05:39.420 dating apps were on Hinge.

01:05:40.900 And, you know, obviously none of it worked out, but it was a much more positive experience

01:05:47.280 feeling like, yeah, like, okay, I met a person that was a nice person.

01:05:51.280 Like it didn't work out, but like it was a nice person and it wasn't like a horrible,

01:05:56.060 horrible experience.

01:05:57.400 So you would say out of all of these, Hinge is the best one because you have people going

01:06:02.680 on there with the right intentions for the most part.

01:06:05.960 There's still, obviously it's never going to be a hundred percent, but compared to Bumble

01:06:11.420 and Tinder, Hinge is the best.

01:06:15.140 To me, I believe that it, and I won't say it's the best yet because I have one more app

01:06:20.760 that I want to talk about, but Hinge is definitely the least dating app-y experience that you

01:06:28.640 could get.

01:06:29.220 It's a very, very good, I think, starting point if you are going to try a dating app.

01:06:34.960 I do not recommend that you do, just for the record, but if you are insisting that you're

01:06:39.540 going to try one, I would probably try Hinge first.

01:06:42.380 So the final dating app that we're going to talk about is an app called Upward.

01:06:46.500 Now there are a pretty decent amount of Christian dating apps out there, and to be honest, I

01:06:52.900 think that they pretty much all stink.

01:06:54.620 And part of the reason for that is because there is, number one, a very, very low number

01:07:00.280 of people actually on those apps.

01:07:03.080 So if you did actually see someone that you think there might, could be a connection with,

01:07:08.080 they're probably about a thousand miles away.

01:07:10.860 Well, what about Christian Mingle?

01:07:13.680 Christian Mingle is, I mean...

01:07:15.280 You've seen the positive advertisements on TV.

01:07:17.720 What about Christian Mingle?

01:07:18.920 Oh man, I love, I love advertisements on TV.

01:07:22.180 They're always very truthful and accurate.

01:07:24.140 So that's probably a doozy too?

01:07:25.360 I have no idea, honestly.

01:07:27.820 Christian Mingle is much more like advertised towards people that are out of our, not even

01:07:33.260 middle age, just, you know...

01:07:34.920 Yeah, I'm getting brother-sister vibes.

01:07:37.320 Yeah.

01:07:38.220 I mean, that's what you get if you want a brother-sister vibe for a marriage.

01:07:42.740 Good luck.

01:07:44.820 Good luck.

01:07:46.040 Okay, so next we're going to talk about a girl talking about how she met her husband

01:07:50.820 on a Christian dating app.

01:07:52.020 Mmm, this is an opportunist.

01:07:56.440 On a Christian dating...

01:07:57.520 Christian men are like the most vulnerable group.

01:08:02.640 Okay, here we go.

01:08:03.480 I actually met my husband on a Christian dating app.

01:08:06.280 I used to be so against dating apps.

01:08:09.020 I wanted the typical rom-com story.

01:08:11.320 Girl meets a guy.

01:08:12.420 I wanted a beautiful story to share to family and friends of how I met my husband.

01:08:15.820 I felt that going on a dating app just made me look desperate.

01:08:18.900 So I just didn't want to try any kind of dating apps until a family friend sat me down and

01:08:25.040 explained a couple of things to me.

01:08:26.640 That just made a lot of sense.

01:08:28.420 She said, when you're in high school, your pool of people to choose from or to date, it's

01:08:35.300 your classmates.

01:08:36.320 It's the students.

01:08:37.320 When you're in college, your pool expands.

01:08:39.940 So, you know, it's thousands and thousands of students in college.

01:08:43.540 But as you get older, your pool starts to get smaller and smaller.

01:08:47.220 Maybe your pool is in church.

01:08:49.900 Maybe your pool becomes your workplace.

01:08:53.160 As you get older, your pool begins to get smaller and smaller.

01:08:56.400 So where do you go to meet other people your age that are single?

01:09:00.360 You have to go where other singles your age are at.

01:09:03.000 And in my case, I was in my early 30s.

01:09:05.440 And she said, for you, they're online.

01:09:07.820 And so that just made sense, right?

01:09:10.020 I mean, it's nothing new, but it did make sense.

01:09:12.660 So I tried several Christian dating apps, but there was one that I really liked.

01:09:17.880 And this one made me feel safe.

01:09:19.860 And I was on and off, you know, for about seven months until the end of April.

01:09:25.040 I got a message from someone named Matt.

01:09:28.100 We messaged for several days.

01:09:29.900 By day five, we had our first phone call.

01:09:31.880 Two months after that, we met for the first time in person.

01:09:35.720 Three months after that, he proposed.

01:09:38.440 God.

01:09:42.940 Two months after that, we got married.

01:09:46.340 You guys can't even wait like six months.

01:09:48.780 These guys are desperate.

01:09:50.320 Last week, three years of marriage.

01:09:52.880 We celebrate three years of marriage.

01:09:54.760 Now, I know there are some gross people online on dating apps, even Christian dating apps.

01:09:59.700 There are some good men too.

01:10:01.760 Oh, and then.

01:10:02.240 Yeah, I'm going to call you a good man.

01:10:03.960 I got bad news for you fellas.

01:10:05.480 I got bad news for you.

01:10:09.080 I hate to say it, but that basically means she sees you.

01:10:14.620 As a brother.

01:10:17.220 Dating app that I used.

01:10:18.780 It's called Holy.

01:10:21.000 Oh, yeah.

01:10:23.120 Poor Christian guys.

01:10:24.520 They just become targets.

01:10:25.580 We're going to do a call in a little bit.

01:10:27.280 I have two more TikToks to watch or two more videos.

01:10:33.060 So then after that, we're going to do a call in.

01:10:38.080 Okay.

01:10:39.520 I want you to think about before getting on the dating apps.

01:10:41.940 Number one.

01:10:42.900 Wait, hold that.

01:10:43.880 Let me.

01:10:48.160 Five things I want you to think about before getting on the dating apps.

01:10:51.320 Number one.

01:10:51.740 Are you still in a place or a season where you are surrounded by singles?

01:10:56.000 Opportunities to meet people.

01:10:57.060 It's so easy to want to get on the dating apps because we're lonely.

01:10:59.900 In a season where you're 22 and you're surrounded by all these people at your church or where you're going about, you don't need a dating app.

01:11:07.420 The point of the dating app is to find people because you're in an environment where there's no longer people to date.

01:11:13.960 Get plugged into a church.

01:11:15.440 Find a hobby where you know young adults are and chase after it.

01:11:19.740 Number two.

01:11:20.680 If you got rejected by the boy you went on the date with from the apps, would your worth be shattered?

01:11:27.120 Do not get on the apps until you are secure enough in who the Lord says about you so that even if this boy is like, I don't want to date you again, you're not swayed.

01:11:38.500 You're not affected because your worth is not going up and down based on what he thinks about you.

01:11:44.060 Number three.

01:11:44.940 Invite your closest people in.

01:11:46.420 Invite community in and ask them to speak in.

01:11:49.040 You are not smart when it comes to wanting to date someone.

01:11:52.580 They might be able to point out blind spots that you're not aware of.

01:11:56.420 Ask people to say, am I spiritually, emotionally, and mentally able to handle the apps?

01:12:04.120 Trust their wisdom.

01:12:04.740 Yeah, okay.

01:12:08.360 So, this is, you got a woman trying to date like a teenager as an adult.

01:12:14.240 When you bring in the community and stuff, that's cool if you're below, you guys got till the end of college to do that.

01:12:20.980 But after then, you got to think for yourself, date for your, I mean, you can do what you want.

01:12:24.600 I just, you guys aren't really going to go for that.

01:12:27.100 John says, Pearl in New York, verbal abuse is illegal.

01:12:29.820 So, the best of luck enforcing boundaries as emotional abuse can mean anything.

01:12:33.920 For the bullet poll, around 25 women are looking to suffer.

01:12:37.100 Number four.

01:12:37.900 Pray about it.

01:12:38.760 Y'all, I literally did not get on the apps until, gosh, like a month and a half ago.

01:12:42.340 And I legitimately was on the apps for one month, and I went on three dates.

01:12:46.780 But I prayed about that for a while, and I never felt like the Lord said yes.

01:12:51.080 And finally, I felt like he gave me the green light, went on a few dates, and it was fine.

01:12:55.160 But I was like, man, even if you don't like me, whatever.

01:12:58.480 Also, I got on the apps when I was feeling the least confident in my body because I was wanting to challenge myself and be like,

01:13:07.040 I'm going to go on these dates, and I'm going to be me.

01:13:09.880 I'm not going to pretend to be something that I'm not.

01:13:12.600 I'm not going to arrive before I can date.

01:13:15.420 I'm going in confident in who the Lord says about me, not on the way that I look.

01:13:19.740 Number five.

01:13:20.820 Do not get on the dating apps if you are looking for validation or you're insecure.

01:13:26.440 You go into a relationship insecure, you're going to be in a relationship insecure.

01:13:31.660 No man, no relationship, no date will fix the God-shaped hole in your heart.

01:13:36.760 Your security and confidence comes from the Lord.

01:13:40.140 It will never be satisfied, even if you date the godliest, cutest guy on the dating apps.

01:13:47.540 Dating apps, yes or no, be free.

01:13:52.600 Okay.

01:13:54.580 Next, we got, should Christians be on dating apps?

01:13:59.340 All right, now we're going to put the Zoom in the chat, and then you guys can call in before I watch this.

01:14:09.860 But, so if you guys have an experience with Christian, like being a Christian on dating apps or anything like that, feel free to call in.

01:14:21.220 Oh my gosh, go.

01:14:22.580 Let's talk about it.

01:14:25.700 Personally, I see dating apps.

01:14:29.580 Christians be on dating apps?

01:14:30.900 Let's talk about it.

01:14:32.060 Personally, I see dating apps almost as like having an Instagram account or any other social media platform.

01:14:37.740 We use the internet every day to connect with lots of different people.

01:14:41.780 Dating apps, I think, can be a great way to connect with people that are also looking for the same things that you're looking for.

01:14:47.760 Dating, relationship, future spouse, whatever.

01:14:50.620 So I don't think being on a dating app has anything to do with if you're a man of God or a woman of God or not.

01:14:56.400 It all comes down to your heart.

01:14:59.160 Ultimately, we should be inviting the Holy Spirit into our dating process and asking ourselves,

01:15:03.700 okay, am I on this app because I'm bored, because I'm lonely, to fill a void, to pass the time?

01:15:09.020 But if not, and you're genuinely just wanting to find your person, then I think dating apps could be a great tool.

01:15:15.180 I've heard so many success stories of amazing, godly couples that have connected through a dating app.

01:15:21.360 So she had a good experience, I guess.

01:15:23.260 You cope.

01:15:23.740 Since I went to the beach on a day, no one would be there.

01:15:25.680 It was 9 a.m.

01:15:26.320 And I went to sleep.

01:15:27.060 At 10 a.m.

01:15:27.500 I wake up and there are three women within six of me, six feet of me.

01:15:30.900 Beach was empty.

01:15:31.540 One of them I spoke to and seven months.

01:15:35.300 Okay.

01:15:39.700 Doug MPA.

01:15:41.060 How's it going?

01:15:44.300 What was your experience on dating apps with Christian women?

01:15:49.540 Go ahead.

01:15:49.840 I don't know.

01:15:58.600 Your mic sounds a little weird today.

01:16:01.280 Hold on one second.

01:16:02.900 We're making something odd.

01:16:04.580 Is that us or him?

01:16:08.480 It's got to be him.

01:16:09.420 Um, let me bring on the next person or let me try again.

01:16:17.080 What better?

01:16:18.720 It just sounds really weird to me.

01:16:20.780 I don't know if it's my headphones or.

01:16:23.280 No, if it's him.

01:16:24.240 Try it.

01:16:24.620 Let's bring in one more person and see if their mic is any better.

01:16:28.160 I'll go out.

01:16:29.160 I'll go out.

01:16:29.880 I'll go out.

01:16:30.340 I'll go out.

01:16:30.880 Okay.

01:16:32.700 Uh, Rob, how's it going?

01:16:34.460 And we can put them on screen.

01:16:44.400 If you guys don't want to be on screen today.

01:16:48.700 And call and do a different show.

01:16:51.800 I don't know what to tell you.

01:16:54.100 Um, also guys, please get to the point with your stories.

01:16:57.460 Please don't draw down for like 10 minutes.

01:16:59.800 Like.

01:17:02.480 Just, you know, I try to be.

01:17:04.520 I like, I'm trying to be accommodating here, but.

01:17:07.520 You know.

01:17:08.840 I like when we get to it, you know.

01:17:12.360 Okay.

01:17:12.960 Um, it seems like Rob's having issues.

01:17:15.020 Just go to the next one.

01:17:17.880 And then.

01:17:24.000 Okay.

01:17:24.440 Edward, can you turn your camera on for me, please?

01:17:26.760 Yes.

01:17:34.460 I guess not.

01:17:40.660 We'll move on to the next one.

01:17:43.060 Try Doug MPA again.

01:17:49.520 Okay.

01:17:50.520 Um.

01:17:55.400 Doug MPA.

01:17:56.880 Is this better?

01:17:58.040 Oh, way better.

01:17:59.780 Okay.

01:18:00.140 Yeah.

01:18:01.300 Something going on with my microphone.

01:18:03.840 So, here's the thing about, I've, recent history with women and that are Christian on dating apps.

01:18:10.460 Women, by the time they're in their mid-30s, they're set in their ways and you can see that their religion is one of the reasons why they're keeping them single.

01:18:20.740 Uh, I met this Orthodox Christian Ethiopian girl.

01:18:26.020 Uh, she was born in America, but she was culturally Ethiopian.

01:18:31.080 And she was, now guys, I'm in my mid-40s, okay?

01:18:35.480 She was in her mid-30s, like 35, and she went to church on Thursdays, Saturdays, Sundays, and went to Bible study on Monday.

01:18:46.160 Right?

01:18:46.980 Now, she's 35, had some BS degree in something that wasn't going to make her any money, and she fully expected to find a man to let her stay at home with children at 35.

01:18:59.860 And then she expected the man to join her church because it was very important to her.

01:19:04.880 So, the man she was with would have to join her church, and she's 35, and put her in a position to stay home and raise children.

01:19:14.440 First off, I don't have any kids.

01:19:15.940 I don't want them.

01:19:16.440 So, we were automatically not, not compatible.

01:19:19.380 But that's the experience of a lot of super religious women in their 30s.

01:19:24.740 Because they have this expectation that you have to join their church, their religion, and the way that they see this whole God thing.

01:19:32.940 Well, it's super crazy because it's like Christian women don't think they have to do any work other than go to church.

01:19:39.560 So, she didn't have to get married and have kids to be a religious woman.

01:19:43.260 She just had to show up to church and read her Bible.

01:19:46.560 Like, that's kind of the bare minimum.

01:19:48.120 Do you know what I mean?

01:19:48.720 That's not, it's not really difficult to do.

01:19:51.880 Yeah, I asked her that.

01:19:53.800 I said, if you're so dedicated to your church, how are you single?

01:20:00.200 What'd she say?

01:20:01.380 She had no answer.

01:20:04.400 No real answer.

01:20:05.780 You know, I had to travel.

01:20:08.080 You know, I had school, all this stuff.

01:20:10.720 But it's just like, now you value, I don't know, she didn't have a good answer for him.

01:20:15.080 But she's holding every man she meets down to this high standard.

01:20:18.820 Yeah.

01:20:19.220 They always think they can get what they got, they could have got when they were 20.

01:20:23.180 Could you bring Dustin in?

01:20:24.900 Let's see what he has to say.

01:20:26.480 Or, and then, you know, I've been black on this planet for over 40 years.

01:20:33.740 In the black community, a lot of black women are married to Jesus.

01:20:39.860 Jesus is their man.

01:20:41.540 And no man in real life will ever measure up to him.

01:20:45.600 Brutal.

01:20:46.040 Hey, Dustin, would you mind putting the phone down so we can get like, maybe sit at a desk

01:20:51.520 or something?

01:20:52.400 Oh, yeah.

01:20:53.520 Yeah, sorry.

01:20:54.640 It's all right.

01:20:55.440 It just makes the content a little better.

01:20:59.460 Yeah.

01:20:59.880 So, are you Christian?

01:21:03.560 No, I'm actually Jewish, but I will be Christian on those apps, I tell you what.

01:21:07.780 Let's go.

01:21:13.940 That was so funny.

01:21:15.360 Okay.

01:21:15.840 So, what's your experience dating Christian women on the apps?

01:21:21.400 There was, I downloaded that Upward.

01:21:25.500 And I like how that guy's like on Hinge, you can react.

01:21:29.000 Like, if you weren't on Hinge, you wouldn't be reacting to what anyone says.

01:21:33.800 But I met a girl on Upward, and she was this really beautiful Ukrainian Orthodox chick.

01:21:42.220 And she, like, I started hanging out with her and her kids.

01:21:48.020 And I thought I was going somewhere.

01:21:51.420 And, like, I was trying to be a good guy.

01:21:55.040 Did you say her and her kids?

01:21:57.440 Yeah.

01:21:58.260 Okay.

01:21:58.760 Yeah.

01:21:59.560 And, you know, okay, like, if you're ever on a dry streak, single moms, that's where you head.

01:22:05.580 That's where you go.

01:22:07.820 That's what I don't figure out, man.

01:22:09.420 I like this guy.

01:22:10.160 Yeah.

01:22:11.420 I write down my schemes in a little book, and I see if they work.

01:22:16.540 And so everything was good.

01:22:20.580 And I was like, oh, I could see myself with this lady.

01:22:23.700 And the problem with Christian women is that they say things like, I want a man to lead me.

01:22:30.440 I want this.

01:22:31.360 But they don't want a man to lead them.

01:22:33.580 They want a man to lead them in the way that they want the guy to lead them.

01:22:37.720 So they really just want to be in control.

01:22:40.420 And they kind of – they really use the Bible, like, oh, the Bible says this, so you can't do this.

01:22:50.040 They pretend like they're going to withhold sex from you.

01:22:52.980 And then, like, the moment a Christian chick says, I'm waiting until marriage, you're like, you know you're going to get it on, like, the third date.

01:23:00.140 Like, it's just – this is how it goes.

01:23:02.920 And I did – we did, like – I slept with her.

01:23:06.720 And then all of a sudden, all these crazy – what do you call them?

01:23:12.220 Like, crazy rules came into play that I had to meet.

01:23:15.480 And I was kind of like, whoa, like, what happened the past three months?

01:23:18.620 Like, I was just taking care of stuff, and you had no issue.

01:23:22.180 But then it was like –

01:23:23.160 What were some of the rules?

01:23:24.000 Oh, the one she broke up with me for was because I got a Christmas tree.

01:23:30.280 I got, like – because I have a three-year-old daughter, and I'm all about making memories.

01:23:35.880 And so I got a Christmas tree that was, like, three feet tall.

01:23:40.320 And she was like, well, that's a golden calf.

01:23:42.340 And I was like, what is frigging wrong with you?

01:23:44.100 It's a tree, dude.

01:23:45.840 And so she broke up with me over a three-foot tree.

01:23:48.360 Like, I even took a photo of it holding it like a lightsaber.

01:23:50.920 And I was like, this is really it, you know?

01:23:53.820 And that was one that was, like – I was okay with even paying for everything.

01:23:59.740 I was like, you just – like, I would take care of it.

01:24:04.340 But she had, like – there can't be a Christmas tree in the house.

01:24:08.540 There can't be all these other, like, religious symbols and just really odd things.

01:24:14.280 And so that just didn't work out.

01:24:16.780 But it's all good, you know?

01:24:19.380 Like, plenty of other women where that came from.

01:24:22.700 Can you give me some examples of how she didn't want to be led?

01:24:26.840 You said earlier that they want to – they say they want to be led.

01:24:29.940 But then you try to lead, and they just want to be led in the way they want to be led.

01:24:34.640 Yeah.

01:24:35.240 So it was like – here's the thing.

01:24:37.340 Hang on.

01:24:40.200 Okay.

01:24:40.600 She goes, I need a bigger car.

01:24:44.340 And I say, okay, well, I'm going to get this Volkswagen Atlas because this is a good family car, and I do want to have another kid.

01:24:52.060 I get it.

01:24:52.880 And then she's like, well, I wanted more of, like, a Hyundai Palisade with an extra row.

01:24:56.340 And I was like, yeah, well, I'm the guy.

01:24:58.840 I'm leading.

01:24:59.720 So this is what I say that we need.

01:25:02.320 Oh, well, that's – okay.

01:25:04.440 And then it's – she wants a house.

01:25:06.340 So we're looking at houses.

01:25:07.780 And I'm like, well, I want a house in this location because of the school district because of this.

01:25:14.140 And she goes, well, I don't agree with that, so I want it over here.

01:25:17.460 And I say, whoa, like, if you want this peaceful life, like, you should have no stress.

01:25:21.840 Like, you need to – I'm going to take care of everything, and you're going to live within these parameters.

01:25:27.180 Like, this is how you will operate.

01:25:28.400 If you don't want the stress that I have to deal with, then you need to, like, just let me take care of it.

01:25:33.120 And that just – she just wanted – I was to lead as long as I was spending the money the way she wanted, as long as everything was in her plan.

01:25:45.240 Like, I was only, like, a bank account.

01:25:49.340 So you said that you're actually Jewish, but you just pretend to be Christian?

01:25:55.360 Dude, just on a dating app.

01:25:56.760 Just on a dating app.

01:25:57.500 Yeah.

01:25:58.020 When do you, like, tell them?

01:25:59.600 Oh, well, they go, so what do you think about Jesus?

01:26:04.960 And I'm like, well, I think he's a cool guy, but he's not, like, real.

01:26:09.080 Like, he's real in the spirit.

01:26:11.000 Like, God's real.

01:26:11.900 Everyone believes in God because you talk about him.

01:26:13.460 He's real in the spirit.

01:26:15.300 Yeah.

01:26:15.920 I'm taking notes, guys.

01:26:17.160 Keep talking.

01:26:19.720 If everyone believes in God because if God wasn't real, none of us would be talking about him.

01:26:25.000 So he has to be real.

01:26:26.280 And I guess it's, like, a psychopathic thing because I know what women mean when they're, like, what do you think about Jesus?

01:26:34.140 You know, I'm like, well, Jesus is great, and he's probably – he might have been a real guy, but he didn't, like, rise from the dead.

01:26:41.400 And if a woman says, what do you mean by that?

01:26:43.260 I say, yo, to get convicted of murder, you need three witnesses.

01:26:46.460 3,000 years ago, two guys say they saw that, and you're going to believe it?

01:26:51.000 It doesn't make any sense.

01:26:51.900 So that's just – that's what I say about Jesus.

01:26:56.060 And does that ever deter them?

01:26:59.800 There was – there's, like, been two that were, like, well, you're not the one for me.

01:27:03.200 But usually they don't ask that question until it's, like, the deed's been done, you know?

01:27:07.860 Or you kind of hold off on answering.

01:27:10.140 So are you able to – one of my biggest problems is it's hard for me to just sit there and let women talk just to get laid.

01:27:22.340 Right.

01:27:22.840 So are you one of those people who – if you find – if you're going out with a really pretty Christian girl, you can just listen to her talk through all of her BS just to get laid?

01:27:33.580 Oh, no.

01:27:35.340 Like, sometimes I used to do that.

01:27:37.620 I used to be the lending ear.

01:27:40.620 But now I'm kind of, like, much more challenging because I don't know how you have experienced dating.

01:27:49.520 But, like, nowadays, especially on dating apps, like, I'm 33.

01:27:54.960 Like, I usually – it usually gets to the bedroom on the first or second date.

01:27:59.320 So I don't have to listen to her talk for very long.

01:28:02.220 And – but if they're going to blab on about that, I'm like, look, this is not worth my time.

01:28:08.580 And then it's just see you later.

01:28:11.500 And, like, I have a kid and I'm trying to have another kid.

01:28:14.080 So I'm, like – I'm trying to get through women.

01:28:18.220 And if they're just blabbing on about their life, I think there are certain stories women tell that they need to have female friends for.

01:28:26.000 And I don't want to hear those stories.

01:28:28.880 You know the criteria for those stories?

01:28:33.220 So – because I always say – this is Doug MPA, by the way.

01:28:37.440 The female-friendly version of the story is where they're the hero and the victim at the same time.

01:28:43.380 Yeah.

01:28:46.620 You know exactly what I'm talking about.

01:28:49.420 Yeah.

01:28:49.920 Like, I thought I could change him.

01:28:51.880 I loved him so much.

01:28:53.160 But he just – he couldn't realize what I was doing for him.

01:28:56.580 He just didn't appreciate me.

01:28:59.800 Yeah.

01:29:00.860 I did everything I possibly – I gave him everything and he just left me.

01:29:05.380 All I did was give, give, give.

01:29:09.540 I do so much for everyone.

01:29:13.140 Yeah.

01:29:14.180 That's how I ended up with my daughter, dude.

01:29:17.220 I wrote in a book in high school.

01:29:18.780 I said I want to get the hottest chick I find pregnant.

01:29:21.300 But I want her to be so crazy she ends up in jail so I don't have to deal with her.

01:29:24.460 But she was not crazy enough.

01:29:27.080 So we just made a really awesome kid.

01:29:29.000 And now I'm, you know, doing the whole child support thing.

01:29:32.460 But that is cool.

01:29:33.040 It's just –

01:29:33.460 So do you want to get married and have a kid?

01:29:36.320 Oh, hell yeah.

01:29:36.940 That's the only way to do it again.

01:29:38.580 Like, yeah.

01:29:40.160 I mean, I don't know if that is the only way because I listen to Pearl and she's like,

01:29:43.360 marriage is not good.

01:29:45.080 Like, or not that, but like it's stacked against guys, which it totally is.

01:29:49.320 Like, I was pro se in court, so I know it's really hard.

01:29:53.160 But I think, like, we need to put our values in the right places.

01:29:57.980 And that's what – religion is like a glue, I think.

01:30:00.700 I'm going to ask you another question.

01:30:02.800 So what is the difference between you vetting – okay.

01:30:07.460 So you vetted wrong with the mother of your daughter.

01:30:11.940 So what's different and what you're looking for in the next mother of your next child compared to the first one?

01:30:18.200 Dude, she's quiet.

01:30:22.120 Nice and simple.

01:30:24.140 Yeah.

01:30:24.820 She knows how to shut the F up.

01:30:27.500 Yeah.

01:30:28.060 I'm dating a girl now.

01:30:29.740 And if we're at dinner and she doesn't know what to eat, I'm like, don't talk.

01:30:33.260 I'm ordering for you.

01:30:34.100 She's just fine with it.

01:30:35.300 Like, she's – if she's very decisive, and when she's not decisive, I don't wait for her.

01:30:41.920 I just order for her, and she just eats it and doesn't complain.

01:30:44.780 And I'm like, this is a good woman.

01:30:47.280 It's a good woman.

01:30:48.600 The bar is so low.

01:30:49.700 That's all we got to do?

01:30:52.540 Oh, yeah.

01:30:53.440 I was like –

01:30:56.300 So I want a woman who's – and I'm still trying to quite define this, but I want a woman who's literally on my team.

01:31:06.740 You know what I'm saying?

01:31:07.280 Because on my channel, I always say when men win, everyone wins.

01:31:11.520 When women win, they win for themselves.

01:31:15.020 So I want a woman who's on my team.

01:31:17.740 And odds are your first baby's mother was never on your team.

01:31:21.340 You're so right.

01:31:22.320 I actually wrote about that.

01:31:23.860 Like, I don't think men should go to therapy.

01:31:26.640 You need to write and figure out what – like, learn from yourself.

01:31:31.840 And I put, like, you want a woman that's in your corner.

01:31:34.800 You want someone rooting for you.

01:31:36.820 And women don't know how to root for men, and they don't even know how to root for each other.

01:31:40.880 Because, I mean, Pearl, when you were in high school and girls tried to give you advice, how many times did you take it?

01:31:47.640 Well, yeah, never.

01:31:51.600 Yeah.

01:31:52.360 Women don't even listen to each other.

01:31:54.580 The thing about this whole being on your team thing, it's like you can't even quite quantify, like, what it actually means.

01:32:01.600 But you know it when you have it.

01:32:03.480 You know what I'm saying?

01:32:05.000 Yeah.

01:32:06.060 You could just tell when a woman's on your team, and you could tell when she's not.

01:32:09.480 I have a – I do have a rule when I'm dating that by the – I say, like, I will pay for everything up to, like, three or four dates if she's really sweet.

01:32:19.680 And then I tell them, I'm like, look, like, I want to know what you would do for me.

01:32:26.060 And that's what – the girl I'm dating now, I'm like, if you don't do something for me in the next two months, I'm going to move my mom in.

01:32:32.220 And I'm going to not talk to you anymore.

01:32:35.540 And she was like, LOL, okay.

01:32:37.580 And she told me she was going to plan a date for me this week, but she hasn't.

01:32:40.800 So I don't know.

01:32:41.640 I might be having a roommate soon.

01:32:45.340 But, yeah, dude, women, I think you do need a woman on your team, and a good woman will know you, and she'll definitely put the effort forth and say, like, hey, like, I got your back.

01:32:59.560 Yeah.

01:33:00.040 I'm single, so don't take advice from me.

01:33:02.120 I'm single.

01:33:04.200 Okay.

01:33:04.680 Well, thank you so much for calling in, Dustin.

01:33:07.700 You're pretty funny, so call in whenever, okay?

01:33:11.000 All right.

01:33:11.840 Thanks.

01:33:12.380 Bye.

01:33:12.520 Bye.

01:33:12.620 Bye.

01:33:12.800 Bye.

01:33:15.340 All right.

01:33:17.040 Yeah, I'll be bluey.

01:33:20.220 You can put in.

01:33:24.300 Put in Rob next.

01:33:31.820 Hey, Rob, how's it going?

01:33:40.220 Robert, are you there?

01:33:41.200 I'm going to give you another.

01:33:41.980 Five, four, three, two, one.

01:33:48.940 Next.

01:33:49.220 You're out.

01:33:50.500 You guys got to come in ready, all right?

01:33:52.940 I at least need you.

01:33:53.700 You got to give me something.

01:33:55.440 All right.

01:33:55.980 Who's next?

01:33:57.840 Let me see the waiting room.

01:34:00.900 All right.

01:34:01.360 Do Jackson.

01:34:05.440 Oh, Gabe's there.

01:34:06.620 Okay.

01:34:06.780 Gabe, I need camera on, mic on.

01:34:13.140 Hello, Pearl.

01:34:14.440 Gabe, what's going on, man?

01:34:19.900 Hello?

01:34:21.620 Yeah.

01:34:22.740 Yeah.

01:34:23.340 So what's your experience?

01:34:24.900 How's it going?

01:34:25.900 Nice tie.

01:34:26.900 You came in dressed to impress, huh?

01:34:29.100 I wore this in school today, so yeah.

01:34:33.020 Oh, nice.

01:34:34.520 So tell me, what's your experience?

01:34:37.420 Are you a Christian?

01:34:38.680 Let's start.

01:34:39.320 Hello, Pearl?

01:34:41.200 Are you a Christian?

01:34:45.060 I was baptized Catholic as a baby.

01:34:47.980 I wasn't really ever raised religious, but to get straight to the point, like, towards

01:34:52.940 the end of, like, the 14 years that I wasted on dating apps, I tried to filter out, like,

01:35:02.200 TradCon girls, and yeah, didn't see anything compared to keeping filters open or whatever.

01:35:13.800 Um, I went on one speed dating event one time in person, and the last guy that you were talking to,

01:35:25.040 I thought he was really funny because, yeah, I lied about basically being religious, which I wasn't really at the time.

01:35:35.780 Okay.

01:35:37.380 And so what was your experience dating religious women or Christian women?

01:35:42.640 Were they any different?

01:35:45.100 I've never dated anyone religious, but, like, I can think back to a couple times when I, um, met girls that would say

01:35:56.160 that they were, like, Christian, and even back when I was a lot more naive when I was younger,

01:36:04.640 I always felt like I could see past their BS based on basically how they would basically walk around like a thirst trap

01:36:17.060 or would hear later on that, oh, yeah, Cindy, you know, was doing 304 activities, like, with Brad or whatever.

01:36:29.800 I'm just throwing, like, examples out there.

01:36:32.360 I'm not, those aren't real names of people.

01:36:35.240 I'm just improvising.

01:36:38.040 I honestly...

01:36:39.800 Is that something well played?

01:36:42.180 No, that makes sense.

01:36:43.360 So you always kind of knew that they were full shit from a young age.

01:36:46.620 Yeah, I mean, it's tough because I've always been told, even being raised by liberals and feminists, like,

01:36:56.880 you should go for a religious girl.

01:36:58.960 You should go for a girl like the Duggars or whatever, stuff like that, which, I mean, to me,

01:37:05.820 even as embracing Catholicism again in life, I just feel like, hmm, I don't know if I really like them as an example,

01:37:13.420 which, I mean, that's my thing, but it is what it is, but that pretty much sums up everything else.

01:37:19.100 I mean, that sums up everything on my end.

01:37:22.640 Cool.

01:37:23.220 Well, thanks for calling, Gabe.

01:37:25.100 It's a pleasure, as always, okay?

01:37:28.140 Yeah.

01:37:28.900 Have a good one.

01:37:29.700 Bye-bye.

01:37:30.320 All right, bye.

01:37:30.720 The next one we got in the queue is going to be...

01:37:38.340 Well, thanks for calling, Gabe.

01:37:40.220 It's a pleasure, as always, okay?

01:37:41.620 All right, we got Jackson next.

01:37:43.400 How's it going, Jackson?

01:37:44.340 Can you hear me, girl?

01:37:45.260 I can hear you perfectly.

01:37:47.280 Okay, excellent, excellent.

01:37:48.980 First time calling in.

01:37:52.980 Well, thanks for calling, Gabe.

01:37:53.980 Do you have the video playing in the background?

01:37:56.780 I do.

01:37:57.320 Let me turn it off.

01:37:59.340 Okay, is that better?

01:38:00.340 Yeah, that's better.

01:38:01.760 Okay, there we go, yeah.

01:38:03.100 So are you Christian?

01:38:05.120 I am.

01:38:05.700 I'm a Bible-believing Christian, and I have been using the dating apps for quite some time.

01:38:12.260 What I would say in a word is Christian women on the dating apps are super picky.

01:38:18.060 That's the first adjective that comes to my mind.

01:38:21.060 Like, they are...

01:38:22.180 It's really, really hard to set up a date with them, I've noticed.

01:38:26.560 Like, the same hypergamy stuff that we always talk about on other dating apps and all that

01:38:32.600 just applies as full force or possibly even more with the Christian dating apps.

01:38:37.620 Like, I found that I had to really learn how to even text them, because you have to text

01:38:46.060 them a very specific way.

01:38:47.400 Like, if you use too many exclamation points or emojis or something like that, it can come

01:38:51.980 across as feminine and stuff.

01:38:53.680 And I still am by no means any kind of expert on it, but I still have learned to text a little

01:39:01.560 bit better than I used to, and I've been able to get more dates than I have in the past.

01:39:07.280 But then I also find the second thing, besides them just being super picky to get the date

01:39:13.860 in the first place, I find that they catfish a lot.

01:39:18.760 Like, I've noticed a lot of them are a lot heavier than they look in their profile pictures.

01:39:23.780 Like, taking photos of just...

01:39:27.020 Like, now I know it's a huge red flag if there's no, like, full body shot of them standing somewhere

01:39:33.400 or something like that.

01:39:34.400 So the modesty is more convenient rather than out of virtue.

01:39:39.080 It doesn't count if you don't have a hot body.

01:39:41.460 Yeah, yeah, well, exactly right.

01:39:44.140 You also have to watch out for what camera angles they take their pictures at.

01:39:49.740 If they only take pictures where it's, like, up above them a little bit, coming downward,

01:39:55.380 or, you know, there's certain angles where you can't see their double chins and stuff.

01:39:59.520 Exactly right.

01:40:00.400 You gotta watch out.

01:40:01.480 Yeah, yeah, I've been on several dates where that's the case.

01:40:07.060 Then another thing I find is that the thing that Pearl always talks about, which is the

01:40:15.560 I'm traditional, except I'm really not.

01:40:17.820 Like, I was on a date with this woman a few weeks ago, actually, from a dating app from

01:40:23.820 Hinge who said she was a Christian.

01:40:25.520 And she may be a Christian.

01:40:26.860 I personally definitely believe you can genuinely be a Christian and yet not have some things

01:40:32.440 right and that sort of thing.

01:40:34.260 So I'm not saying she isn't a Christian, but she was saying that, like, oh, I'm traditional.

01:40:39.880 And so I said, you know, that's interesting.

01:40:41.780 What do you mean by that?

01:40:42.960 And she was like, well, I mean that I'm a Trump supporter.

01:40:46.240 I'm like, oh, okay, that's a good start.

01:40:49.220 But what would, and like, I asked her the classic question of, because she had this career

01:40:53.160 she wanted to do.

01:40:54.780 What if your husband wanted to, you to not do that, to be a stay-at-home wife?

01:41:00.440 Oh, no, I would never do that.

01:41:02.200 Like, yeah, that's short-circuited when you asked her that.

01:41:05.200 Exactly right.

01:41:05.960 Exactly right.

01:41:06.460 Does she realize Amber Rose is a Trump supporter?

01:41:10.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:11.640 I mean, that's true.

01:41:15.020 But I do think most, like, I'm not saying you're not wrong.

01:41:20.100 There are Amber Rose Trump supporters out there.

01:41:22.080 I do think most women like that, like Amber Rose, are probably not Trump supporters.

01:41:26.360 But, yeah, that's the case I've found.

01:41:30.380 And then the worst time ever, just because it was the most painful to me, is I actually

01:41:38.360 did find a woman on Upward, the dating app we're talking about.

01:41:41.920 I'll just name the app, who we went on a few dates.

01:41:47.560 And it felt like a match made in heaven, honestly.

01:41:50.960 Like, I have never met, to this day, another woman who, at least from everything I could

01:41:57.760 tell, with me aligning our values and what we like to do and our life plans, including

01:42:03.080 in some rather unique ways about myself, we seem to align absolutely perfectly.

01:42:08.100 And this won't surprise Pearl at all, but she just cut everything off with basically no

01:42:13.520 explanation.

01:42:14.060 She just sort of canceled all of a sudden.

01:42:17.380 And so, yeah, I mean, this is all really-

01:42:20.040 She's probably married.

01:42:21.660 Sorry?

01:42:22.760 She's probably married.

01:42:24.540 I don't think she's married.

01:42:26.420 But it was another guy that she ended up going out with after this.

01:42:29.900 Okay.

01:42:30.300 So you're on the right track there.

01:42:33.680 She wasn't married, fortunately.

01:42:35.160 But anyway, all this to really say is that in my personal experience, what Pearl talks

01:42:44.180 about regarding Christian women not being any different than just women in general, it

01:42:49.840 just, I mean, I hate to believe that that's true, but that's what I experience on a day-to-day

01:42:56.900 basis, if that makes sense.

01:42:58.200 I'm going to ask you a question.

01:43:00.480 Is there, are you in your 30s, 40s?

01:43:05.020 I'm 32, almost 33.

01:43:07.380 Yeah.

01:43:07.560 So is there a red flag age where a woman is at a certain age and she says she's a Christian?

01:43:17.460 Because, you know, me, I'm in my 40s.

01:43:19.920 And if a woman says she's a Christian in her 30s, but she's never been married and she

01:43:25.520 doesn't have any children, I'm like, wait, what's going on here?

01:43:27.980 Like, it's kind of a red flag.

01:43:30.220 So that's, yeah, I see.

01:43:31.820 But I'm not religious, not even close.

01:43:33.700 Sure, sure.

01:43:34.600 Gotcha, gotcha.

01:43:35.420 So I don't quite look, I see what you're asking.

01:43:38.740 I don't look at it quite that way.

01:43:40.460 By the way, interesting fact about me, and this is not typical of Christians, especially

01:43:46.900 more conservative Christians like myself, but I've never really personally desired to

01:43:51.160 have kids.

01:43:52.060 I've definitely always desired to be married, at least in the biblical sense, not necessarily

01:43:57.320 talking about state marriage.

01:43:58.580 That's a whole other discussion.

01:44:00.460 Good man.

01:44:01.140 But again, I'm not saying I'm completely closed to that if that's God's will for my life.

01:44:07.500 So it's not a, it's not, I definitely, you know, I'm completely closed to that either.

01:44:12.320 But what, but to answer your, your actual question, for me, what is more important than

01:44:18.240 the age?

01:44:18.920 I see where you're going with the age.

01:44:20.800 I really do.

01:44:21.960 But what I ask when, when a woman says she's a Christian is, well, what do you mean by that?

01:44:27.240 Explain, you tell me what a, what a Christian is, um, and why you, and how you became one and

01:44:33.880 that sort of thing.

01:44:34.700 And I, I've had some good.

01:44:35.800 And when you ask that question.

01:44:37.080 Yeah, absolutely.

01:44:38.260 Absolutely.

01:44:38.820 Do you have, do you have an idea in your mind that?

01:44:42.020 Yeah.

01:44:42.440 Yeah.

01:44:42.720 I believe.

01:44:43.640 Oh, is there, is that a question where in your mind, you have an idea that there's a

01:44:48.820 right answer and a wrong answer?

01:44:50.980 For sure.

01:44:51.740 For sure.

01:44:52.140 What would be the right answer for a woman to say?

01:44:53.760 I come from a school of thought called a free grace theology, which is, we believe salvation

01:44:59.440 is completely by God's grace.

01:45:01.340 Um, so that's another reason I think some of these, these Christian women who are doing

01:45:07.240 things I think are wrong still may actually be Christians, uh, which doesn't mean their

01:45:11.980 behavior shouldn't be called out obviously.

01:45:13.960 But that's, that's where I go with that.

01:45:17.000 I see how closely or not closely they align with that.

01:45:20.420 Um, so I, for me, that's personally more important than the age they became, but I'm also not saying

01:45:27.800 you're, you're, you are onto something, right?

01:45:30.260 Like you do want to make sure this isn't just the, the woman's latest social club or something

01:45:36.100 like that.

01:45:36.760 So I, I do agree with where you're coming.

01:45:39.200 I put in the chat, the, the last stop on the whore train is always the, the church.

01:45:45.560 That, the last stop.

01:45:47.000 That may be true, but, but I, here's the, the, the point is even if the whore actually

01:45:52.900 did become a Christian that, that doesn't make her a good, good wife material is just

01:45:57.920 where I'm going with that.

01:45:58.740 Smart man.

01:46:00.080 So.

01:46:01.980 Yeah.

01:46:02.860 Smart man.

01:46:05.480 And then one more question.

01:46:06.800 So, uh, you, you're on Christian dating apps now.

01:46:10.600 I have, yeah.

01:46:12.280 Is your experience on a Christian dating app, uh, vastly different than on regular dating

01:46:17.480 apps?

01:46:18.000 Not really.

01:46:19.020 Um, the, I mean, the one thing I will say is that, that, that, that, that,

01:46:22.900 that is a little different is years ago back on Tinder.

01:46:28.400 Um, I, uh, I, uh, I did occasionally get some women who would send me just some, you

01:46:34.940 know, overtly sexual message.

01:46:37.260 And I, and I honestly don't even think a lot of them were even trying to hook up with

01:46:41.060 me.

01:46:41.300 I think they were actually just kind of trolling and that sort of thing, or some of them could

01:46:45.860 have even been bought accounts.

01:46:47.080 I don't know.

01:46:48.080 I haven't encountered that as much on Christian dating apps, but as far as I'm going

01:46:52.880 as just the, you know, the, the getting them to go up, them being super picky, it's, it's,

01:46:59.160 I think the same thing, like, like an analogy I thought of is a lot of women will say, you

01:47:04.700 know, I'm in my thirties.

01:47:06.100 Where are all the good men?

01:47:07.660 All I've ever wanted is to be married.

01:47:09.620 And in many cases have kids they'll say in that kind of thing.

01:47:12.380 And it's, it's a little bit to me, like, you know, when I was, when I was going to

01:47:17.100 college, uh, my, my grand, I wanted to go to the university of Texas at Austin.

01:47:22.120 That was my dream school.

01:47:23.820 But my grandfather said, no, that's too expensive.

01:47:27.060 You have to go in state.

01:47:28.500 Cause I happened to live in Colorado.

01:47:29.720 So I went to Colorado state.

01:47:31.500 I mean, can you imagine if I had refused to go to Colorado state and said, all I ever wanted

01:47:36.380 was to go to college.

01:47:37.440 And I mean, that's what I feel like a lot of these women are doing, if that makes sense.

01:47:42.740 Yeah, completely.

01:47:44.600 Yeah.

01:47:45.840 And I, I had a blast at CSU.

01:47:47.900 Like I, I, I, I did, I wasn't even that like disappointed.

01:47:51.740 I was just thankful to get to go anywhere.

01:47:53.860 It's just that, uh, that analogy is always stuck in my mind.

01:47:57.660 So, yeah.

01:47:58.740 Is your, is it church, is it church try to facilitate, uh, a Christian relationship?

01:48:04.640 They have a singles ministry or anything like that?

01:48:06.400 They don't, not really.

01:48:07.940 I go to other places for singles ministries.

01:48:11.080 Uh, my church is just a very small Bible church, um, where there are, there are a few

01:48:17.520 people might there, first of all, it's not a very big church in general.

01:48:20.160 There are other people my age, but my, my friends are married.

01:48:23.800 Um, and I, I've been to, I've been to secular singles meetups as well.

01:48:29.440 Like, um, Jigsaw is in a lot of cities.

01:48:32.140 That's another thing.

01:48:33.180 Um, but you, you have to be just like, like one thing Pearl is just absolutely right about

01:48:40.160 that.

01:48:40.900 I don't, that, that I, I would even argue it's unbiblical the way they do it, but that's a

01:48:44.980 theological discussion is the way a lot of Christian women will shame male sexuality.

01:48:50.140 Like that's something I had never heard anyone really talk about that until I found Pearl's

01:48:57.480 channel.

01:48:57.860 And, and, and her saying that it's like, wow, finally somebody else noticed that.

01:49:02.560 Yeah.

01:49:03.240 Pearl has a special kind of passion when she talks about tradcon horse.

01:49:07.860 It's the best.

01:49:08.760 I grew up around them.

01:49:10.300 They drive me nuts.

01:49:11.880 The best of Pearl comes out when she's talking about that.

01:49:14.940 Well, thanks so much for calling in Jackson.

01:49:17.700 Um, I appreciate it.

01:49:19.520 Yeah.

01:49:19.760 Call it anytime.

01:49:20.300 I'll talk to you.

01:49:21.180 I'll talk to you guys later.

01:49:22.600 Yeah.

01:49:22.840 Cool.

01:49:23.340 Bye.

01:49:23.640 All right.

01:49:26.200 That was a great caller.

01:49:27.340 Very concise.

01:49:28.940 I love it when they come in and they just have, these are the Mr. Boots.

01:49:32.560 He, he said that, that the Jackson sounds very, very intellectual and, and that might

01:49:38.460 intimidate the women that he goes out with.

01:49:42.420 This guy in the chat said that.

01:49:43.800 Yeah.

01:49:44.360 I can see that happening.

01:49:45.580 Yeah.

01:49:45.720 He's very logical.

01:49:46.980 Yeah.

01:49:47.380 Cause we like the, like, if you get, we're not logical creatures.

01:49:51.420 So we're like, what?

01:49:52.180 Well, and then these, these Chad Kong women in the church just expect men to be idiots.

01:49:58.960 Yeah.

01:49:59.620 Um, okay.

01:50:00.440 Hey, Charles, how's it going?

01:50:06.220 I think it's frozen.

01:50:12.080 Oh, oh, now he's moving again.

01:50:14.280 Hey, Charles.

01:50:17.020 Oh, where'd he go?

01:50:19.600 No, he's going to get, he's got up and left.

01:50:22.760 Come back, Charles.

01:50:27.560 Charles.

01:50:29.740 I don't know if he, is he muted?

01:50:33.660 Oh.

01:50:36.580 Oh.

01:50:39.120 You guys got to work on your zoom skills.

01:50:41.720 Like, let's see if he can get it put into the way.

01:50:47.560 Charles, are you there?

01:50:48.620 All right.

01:50:48.940 Well, we'll try Charles.

01:50:50.240 See if we can, you guys got to come in ready to go.

01:50:54.440 All right.

01:50:56.080 It kind of, it kind of puts the show on hold.

01:50:58.440 If we're waiting for you guys to figure out the zoom.

01:51:02.980 Um, there's a way to test before you guys come in.

01:51:05.840 Um, okay.

01:51:07.420 We can try Charles one more time.

01:51:12.700 I can see if either of them figure it out.

01:51:14.860 Okay.

01:51:15.160 Okay.

01:51:15.400 Now I, all right, Charles unmute.

01:51:17.800 Yeah, I can unmute.

01:51:22.460 You're muted.

01:51:23.300 So I can see you.

01:51:24.140 You just go to the corner.

01:51:26.520 It should be bottom, like left corner.

01:51:29.300 Okay.

01:51:29.660 Now it's off mute.

01:51:30.420 Are you there, Charles?

01:51:31.820 Yes, I am.

01:51:33.000 There he is.

01:51:34.140 There he is.

01:51:35.280 How's it going, Charles?

01:51:37.700 I'm doing good.

01:51:38.780 How are you guys?

01:51:39.860 I'm good.

01:51:41.000 So what is your, are you a Christian?

01:51:43.960 So I'm a Christian.

01:51:45.360 I'm, uh, I've not done the dating app thing, but I can tell you about churchy entity women.

01:51:50.720 Um, it's funny.

01:51:52.240 I'm, I'm divorced.

01:51:53.480 I'm 60 years old.

01:51:55.160 Currently.

01:51:55.740 Thank God.

01:51:56.200 I have a girlfriend that's 49 and I get sex every day.

01:52:00.100 So I'm happy.

01:52:01.180 Let's go.

01:52:04.320 No wonder he's got that smile.

01:52:07.360 Was your ex-wife like super Christian?

01:52:09.640 We did the whole typical Christian marriage thing with your ex-wife.

01:52:14.160 Well, no.

01:52:14.740 So she wasn't, my ex wasn't Christian.

01:52:17.620 She was a psychiatrist, psychologist.

01:52:20.040 And there it is.

01:52:23.800 But, um, but I had the, um, I had the withholding for like two years from her before my divorce.

01:52:30.860 So, um, God's being good to me now.

01:52:34.160 But I, I'll tell you all the women in my church though.

01:52:38.340 It's like born again, uh, single moms come in and get their born again virginity.

01:52:44.760 You know, they get baptized and then they get their virginity.

01:52:48.220 And these simps like are, are all over them.

01:52:52.160 Like, like white on rice.

01:52:54.020 It kind of, I, I go to these Bible studies and I tell guys, don't do it.

01:52:59.440 You're, you're headed for problems.

01:53:01.960 Um, but the simpidemic is real and I wish I could get it through to guys, uh, you know,

01:53:10.460 50 and younger, like, you know, go for it when, you know, don't buy into the BS and the, um,

01:53:20.920 the stuff they preach in church is absolutely insane.

01:53:24.520 You're, you're right about the pastors and you're right about the, the band people.

01:53:29.820 They all walk around like they own the place and, and the youth ministers too.

01:53:34.380 Oh yeah.

01:53:34.740 I forgot about them.

01:53:37.140 Like, like they are, it's brutal.

01:53:40.300 It is absolutely brutal.

01:53:42.740 And, um, Pearl, I love what you do, but, uh, the Christian, the Christian conservative women

01:53:49.780 are a whole group unto themselves that the woke women are, are out of their minds.

01:53:55.960 And you can tell by the laughter, what, that they're woke and just go the other way.

01:54:01.500 Um, I always say, cause remember nature, market, nature marks its most poisonous things and with

01:54:08.720 odd shapes and like weird colors.

01:54:10.700 So feminists and all the, you can catch them by their purple hair and that like septum piercing

01:54:17.000 and stuff, but, but these fake chat cons, they look like everybody else.

01:54:20.920 So they're hard to spot.

01:54:22.160 It's amazing.

01:54:23.200 And they blend right in and I don't know what it is, but like society falls for this

01:54:29.720 trad con thing.

01:54:30.780 Like it's absolutely mind numbing that the fact that men are so willing to give up the

01:54:38.160 ghosts for anything.

01:54:40.360 Um, I, I don't know, you know, if you're stoic and you're a guy and you can take the seven

01:54:47.160 seconds or seven breaths to slow things down a bit, you're going to save yourself a lot

01:54:51.840 of trouble in this world.

01:54:53.420 So, um, what age, what age do you see are the men that fall for it the most?

01:54:59.560 Do you find them to be young guys, boomers, millennials?

01:55:03.440 I'd say, I'd say probably like they're either really young.

01:55:10.140 They're sort of the 19 to 25 range or they're the, the 40 to, to 35 range.

01:55:17.540 Okay.

01:55:18.080 Um, those are the guys in the 25 to 35 range.

01:55:22.940 I think they still got enough of their game and they're kind of like, um, they've started

01:55:29.520 making money for the first time.

01:55:31.140 They've got property, they've got some things maybe, and they, they kind of, um, I don't

01:55:36.520 want to say it.

01:55:37.000 They have the independence and enough stuff to be like, no, I don't need you.

01:55:41.060 Um, if they go that, that, that time, uh, to say like 35 to 40 years old, um, and they've

01:55:51.960 been divorced or whatever, they just become desperate.

01:55:54.620 And the trad con women, they're like sharks in a feeding frenzy nowadays.

01:56:00.080 It's, it's insane.

01:56:02.260 So, so I would, cause Pearl and I, we were talking about this earlier.

01:56:06.700 It's, it's kind of no in between.

01:56:08.880 So a divorced guy either becomes a red pill demon or just gets desperate and just simps

01:56:15.280 all over the place.

01:56:16.460 Oh yeah.

01:56:17.140 And I'll tell you the red pill demon works.

01:56:19.520 Like I've had more women be like, Oh yeah, I teach yoga.

01:56:23.380 Right.

01:56:23.720 So I, I, I kind of, I kind of get a lot of exposure out there and they're like, Oh, well

01:56:30.620 I'm not going to talk to you anymore.

01:56:31.900 I'm like, fine, good.

01:56:32.840 Go see ya.

01:56:34.660 And that, that makes them insane.

01:56:37.240 They lose their minds.

01:56:38.700 They lose their minds.

01:56:39.920 It's like, if you, if you can, if you can not simp and not follow after them, they'll,

01:56:48.360 they'll chase you.

01:56:49.320 But, uh, so you said that there's a, you said that there's a church, it's a stepdaddy

01:56:56.420 pipeline.

01:56:58.020 Oh yeah.

01:56:59.180 Absolutely.

01:57:00.080 Oh my gosh.

01:57:00.800 So, so, so let's play hypothetical.

01:57:04.380 Let's say, um, I'm a, a 24, 25 year old guy who just graduated with like a degree in

01:57:10.980 like mechanical engineering or chemistry or something.

01:57:15.280 And, and I'm, I'm just starting, starting with my career.

01:57:18.540 I'm in the church and you see the vultures of the, the single mother just hovering around

01:57:24.740 this young guy who has, who has a potential.

01:57:27.400 What would you say to that young guy?

01:57:30.360 Run, run.

01:57:32.720 The single moms, the single moms will give it up on the first date and then they will

01:57:37.860 guilt him into like being a father to their child.

01:57:41.560 And the simp guys, they're done.

01:57:44.980 They'll, they'll introduce them to the kids like right after they have sex with them just

01:57:49.780 to hook them in.

01:57:50.760 And then it's, they're, they're done.

01:57:53.040 I would tell those guys run, stop going to church, stop going to church or do church online

01:57:59.340 where you're not going to be exposed to, uh, to this stuff because it's, it's crazy.

01:58:03.980 And the dating apps, you know, when I got divorced, I did the dating apps and, you know, like I

01:58:12.840 said, I'm 60 and I'm in fairly good shape and I, I take care of myself.

01:58:18.140 Um, I would purposely not put a picture up there to just get treated like shit and, um, see

01:58:26.320 who hung around or who talked.

01:58:28.920 And it's, it's insane.

01:58:31.740 You know, I'm not going to lie.

01:58:34.260 Uh, there are a lot of, of women that think way too highly of themselves.

01:58:40.920 I showed up on more meetups and saw like a four foot two, 500 pound woman get out of a

01:58:47.680 car and just drove away.

01:58:48.880 You know, it's, it's sad, but, but they think they are, I don't know if they think they're,

01:59:01.280 they're entitled to this thing.

01:59:02.520 And I, I make good money.

01:59:04.120 I, I have a, I'm retired, you know, I made six figures.

01:59:08.840 I'm, I don't understand the disparity between what women feel they're entitled to and what

01:59:16.680 men think they're entitled to.

01:59:18.760 Um, men are just desperate and society breeds this simpism.

01:59:23.800 If you want to call it that, like where they feel like they have to take whatever they can

01:59:29.340 get.

01:59:30.240 Right.

01:59:31.000 If you, you know, so.

01:59:36.460 Cool.

01:59:38.440 Um, yeah.

01:59:40.260 Any questions or anything?

01:59:42.400 No, I agree with you.

01:59:43.780 I'm like, I don't know what to add.

01:59:45.320 Do you have anything, Doug?

01:59:46.540 So, so what is the most common weapon?

01:59:50.740 Cause I'm, I'm still stuck on this church.

01:59:54.560 Okay.

01:59:55.280 To, to, to step daddy pipeline.

01:59:57.820 I'm just, it just blowing my mind over here.

01:59:59.600 So what is, so what are some of the typical tactics that these women use or say?

02:00:06.140 I think, I think they do the church thing to find the simps and then it's, it's sex.

02:00:12.620 The single moms will just give it up.

02:00:15.060 Oh, really?

02:00:15.940 They gluck gluck, right?

02:00:17.160 For some, that's all it takes for a simp.

02:00:20.520 I mean, think about the simps you've talked to.

02:00:22.560 I know.

02:00:23.940 I was hoping you could say some like intricate, intricate plan to like capture the guy, like

02:00:30.100 Wile E. Coyote trying to get the roadrunner or something.

02:00:32.600 But you, you're saying literally.

02:00:33.940 Give it up.

02:00:34.600 All she has to do is put out.

02:00:35.760 Oh, that's so depressing.

02:00:37.900 It is.

02:00:39.080 It is.

02:00:40.400 You know, a 304 is a 304, whether you dress up in church clothes or not.

02:00:45.540 So.

02:00:46.700 Hmm.

02:00:48.180 Yeah.

02:00:49.840 Yikes.

02:00:52.020 Damn.

02:00:52.700 Well, thanks for calling in.

02:00:54.340 I appreciate it.

02:00:55.740 Yeah.

02:00:55.940 No, thank you.

02:00:56.800 Call in again anytime.

02:00:57.220 Call in anytime.

02:00:58.620 Yeah, go ahead.

02:00:59.360 Sorry.

02:00:59.560 No, thank you.

02:01:01.500 You're great.

02:01:02.180 I love listening to you and I point so many guys in your direction to get clarity.

02:01:07.540 So keep doing what you're doing.

02:01:10.160 Thanks so much.

02:01:12.040 Thank you.

02:01:12.660 You too.

02:01:13.380 Bye.

02:01:13.920 Bye.

02:01:14.300 Tell your 49 year old girlfriend.

02:01:15.740 We said hi.

02:01:18.600 That's the face of a man dating someone 10 plus years younger.

02:01:24.820 And getting it on the regular.

02:01:26.540 Yeah.

02:01:26.880 They just smile more, you know.

02:01:28.640 That's that smile right there.

02:01:32.360 Let's see.

02:01:33.020 We got.

02:01:34.860 We can do.

02:01:36.420 It's nine o'clock.

02:01:37.420 Let's do one more caller.

02:01:39.760 You want to pick Doug MPA?

02:01:42.740 I can't see the list.

02:01:44.500 Then I guess I'll pick.

02:01:45.680 I'll do Jim.

02:01:47.080 Jim.

02:01:50.520 Do the bottom one.

02:01:52.900 Let's see if he.

02:01:53.540 Jim, what's going on, man?

02:02:02.240 You're muted.

02:02:02.960 You're on mute, Jim.

02:02:04.900 I'm on mute.

02:02:06.040 There you go.

02:02:06.860 Got it.

02:02:07.960 How are you?

02:02:09.480 I'm doing good.

02:02:10.200 Nice to meet you.

02:02:11.240 Nice to meet you.

02:02:12.460 So what is your experience dating church women?

02:02:15.820 And are you Christian?

02:02:17.080 I am.

02:02:18.920 I am.

02:02:19.300 So I used to be a worship leader for 15 years.

02:02:22.980 And it it has been an interesting few years.

02:02:27.800 One, dating in the church and dating leadership and accompanying the the not only the stress,

02:02:36.120 but the risk of dating in church and for it to go bad, you know, such as first dates.

02:02:41.900 And unfortunately, I had the experience of it actually going bad, a really bad first date.

02:02:47.440 And she had said, hey, I didn't consent to what we did afterwards, even though that was regret.

02:02:52.740 And it actually.

02:02:54.100 Yeah, it it forced me out of the church.

02:02:56.880 So I went from Washington, D.C.

02:02:59.220 So now I live in Fort Lauderdale and I live a much, much more fruitful and full of life now

02:03:07.100 being out of the church and dating out of the church than I did back in D.C.

02:03:13.540 So you guys hooked up after the date and she said she didn't consent.

02:03:18.840 Yeah.

02:03:19.260 Was there on the first date?

02:03:20.940 On the first date.

02:03:21.960 Yeah.

02:03:22.760 Yeah, it was.

02:03:23.880 It was like a right away thing or was it like a slow burn kind of thing where she had to think

02:03:28.600 about a couple of days or a couple of weeks and then.

02:03:31.860 It was actually it was you want to share.

02:03:34.580 It's fine.

02:03:35.360 Probably really bad, but it's cool.

02:03:37.720 It was pretty quick.

02:03:39.140 It was within about 48 hours.

02:03:41.620 And I mean, this girl invited me back to her place and, you know, her friends had left to leave us alone.

02:03:47.360 And, you know, I wasn't pushing for anything.

02:03:49.200 But afterwards, I had realized, OK, someone in my position, like, has to be very, very careful

02:03:57.280 dating in the church and seeing what that looks like, you know, on that, you know, things went relatively negatively.

02:04:06.680 You know, I tried to handle them the best that I could.

02:04:09.460 The church actually really defended and stepped up and made sure that I was protected, you know,

02:04:15.280 and also the church was protected as well.

02:04:17.260 So but it really goes to this.

02:04:19.760 This was an area that I I didn't I had not seen coming.

02:04:25.180 So I would say, you know, if you're dating in the church and you have a lot of your friends in the church,

02:04:31.760 it's certainly something to think about and possibly even something to talk about, you know, coming from the male side of the fence.

02:04:38.960 So what happened the next like how quickly did she accuse you of that?

02:04:44.080 Was it like immediately or was like did word get around and she got embarrassed or like did did you tell someone and like it go on a rat like.

02:04:55.040 Did it like because I found the church in half.

02:04:57.960 I'll tell you what I found personally and you can tell me if this matches.

02:05:01.240 I found that a lot of times if the guy tells someone he kind of shoots himself in the foot because women are fueled by their reputation.

02:05:10.480 And so if you make them look bad, you like their hell has no fury, not like a woman scorned.

02:05:16.880 It's like a woman who looks bad.

02:05:19.800 So was that what happened or what did something else happen?

02:05:24.040 So I didn't say anything.

02:05:25.140 I mean, when I dated her, I was 32, 33 years old.

02:05:28.900 And so, you know, it, it, it, you know, it's not in my best interest to go, you know, around and tell people it, it came from her.

02:05:38.900 And she says, listen, I don't consent to what we did.

02:05:41.720 Can we be friends?

02:05:43.640 And, you know, this was back when I was really involved with Corey Wright Wayne and really involved with Red Pill, how you don't be friends with women.

02:05:51.020 And now I believe something totally differently.

02:05:54.840 However, I'm like, no, we can't really be friends after what we did.

02:05:58.220 And it's kind of hard to back off.

02:05:59.600 And she went crazy, really brought up the leadership.

02:06:04.000 The entire church got involved.

02:06:06.960 And, uh, yeah, I was told, you know, don't reach out to her.

02:06:10.840 Let things go.

02:06:12.200 Let's pull you out of ministry for a while.

02:06:14.360 And that was a six month long process.

02:06:16.220 And I just had started going in, uh, back into like, uh, choir, et cetera.

02:06:23.220 At that point I had decided, okay, you know what?

02:06:26.300 Maybe, maybe Washington DC DMV where I grew up is not the place for me.

02:06:31.420 And now I am so much happier in the dating scene being down in Fort Lauderdale.

02:06:36.120 So what changed was it, um, the quality, like, did you find that women were of better quality

02:06:41.580 when you dated outside of the church?

02:06:44.480 Was it even the church period?

02:06:46.300 What was it?

02:06:47.520 I think probably the answer to both of those questions is yes.

02:06:51.340 Um, I'm flying down in Fort Lauderdale.

02:06:53.100 There's a lot of lack of commitment.

02:06:54.960 So it's, you know, it's, it's easier for me because I've dated in the church all of my life.

02:07:01.620 And now that I'm out of the church, I'm like, I got to learn a whole lot about Latina women.

02:07:05.900 I got to learn a whole lot about women in general.

02:07:08.300 Um, because you know, they're, they don't play down here.

02:07:11.360 Um, you know, you have, if, if your shoes are on the wrong foot or your belt is the wrong

02:07:17.100 color, like you're done, you know, you know, the getting your figure, right.

02:07:21.360 It's step one of dating and down in church, uh, Fort Lauderdale because of how many options

02:07:26.840 both women and men have.

02:07:28.700 Well, they always say, you know, the red pill, it doesn't get, you don't swallow it.

02:07:36.040 It gets shoved up your behind a lot of times.

02:07:39.080 And that's what happened to you, man.

02:07:40.980 I'm glad you made it out free and clear, man, because false accusations are no joke, man.

02:07:45.980 No, no, no joke.

02:07:47.820 You had to learn the hard way.

02:07:49.120 Wow.

02:07:50.060 Yeah.

02:07:50.240 I was driving down to DC wondering if I was going to get arrested.

02:07:53.360 Like, you know, this girl thought I, you know, did this girl think that I had, you know,

02:07:58.700 big art her, like what, you know, which is not what happened at all.

02:08:02.600 We both consented to what we did, but that's not consent.

02:08:05.340 That's regret.

02:08:06.720 And, you know, I, I, I wish her the best.

02:08:09.260 I hope, you know, everything goes, goes well on her end, um, on that side, you know?

02:08:15.020 Um, so there's that, you know, like I've dated on Upward, I've dated on Bumble, I've dated

02:08:19.960 on Hinge, you know, they're out in DC, there, there's not, there's not a lot of options,

02:08:26.280 uh, and DC DMV, it's really all about getting married.

02:08:31.620 Um, so there's a whole lot of pressure on both sides of the fence.

02:08:35.140 Um, I, myself used to be a massive simp.

02:08:38.640 Uh, you know, I've always believed women when they say, oh, I'm just this pretty little,

02:08:43.380 you know, damsel in distress.

02:08:45.240 Like I used to believe that.

02:08:47.240 Um, I grew up with my dad crying himself to sleep on match.com when dial-up was a thing.

02:08:52.040 Like that's the kind of upbringing that I had around women.

02:08:55.320 And I still have a long way to go.

02:08:57.240 Like down in Fort Lauderdale, I've realized a lot of the problem is me and my being scared

02:09:02.100 of women, uh, you know, uh, you know, given off of duh, like, look what you went through.

02:09:07.600 So, but you know, I'm 35 now, like I've got to figure it out.

02:09:11.560 So what other patterns did you see?

02:09:14.120 Cause you said you were in that church for like 12 years or 15.

02:09:17.600 Um, multiple churches in that church specifically for three years.

02:09:21.360 Good question.

02:09:22.480 So, uh, one of the big things I noticed is that there, uh, there, there was a lot of focus.

02:09:31.380 Yes, to get married, but there was also a lot of private things that go on in the background.

02:09:36.680 Like there was, they say one thing, but they really do another thing behind closed doors.

02:09:41.900 And me coming from the church side of the fence, like, Hey, if I love Jesus, I love Jesus.

02:09:47.300 Like I'm, you know, going to stick to that.

02:09:50.500 And that comes with, Hey, let's wait for a while or let's wait till marriage.

02:09:54.640 A lot of the waiting until marriage stuff, like they hit that really hard.

02:09:58.240 And I really love what you said earlier, uh, you know, like how much control they exhibit when it comes to sex or the, when it comes to affection.

02:10:07.460 Cause it's so, it's so disarming to a man when they hear that.

02:10:13.560 And it's not typically, it's not like, Hey, don't kiss me.

02:10:18.600 Don't kiss me now.

02:10:19.620 Not don't kiss me ever.

02:10:20.820 You know, when you're out on a first date with a girl, it's like, you haven't really gone through the right steps to get to that point where, but when you're dealing with Christian women, it's like, you know, it's, they, they hell sent it.

02:10:33.640 You know, as far as, you know, I don't do this until I'm married.

02:10:36.760 I don't do that until I'm married.

02:10:38.040 When really you do need some of those experience to identify, Hey, are we compatible or is there some things that I need to know before deciding, Hey, I'm going to do this or not.

02:10:51.940 What did you see in terms of like the dating culture?

02:10:55.680 Like, did you see women sharing that in church?

02:10:58.380 Did like you ever, did you see the single mothers?

02:11:03.640 The pastors, you know, like, what did you see?

02:11:07.620 Did you see the, the church to step daddy pipeline?

02:11:11.140 Like the last guy said.

02:11:14.020 Good question.

02:11:15.120 So, um, I, I, you know, I, I didn't see a whole lot of single moms, um, in the, the smaller church that I spent a lot of time with.

02:11:25.180 Um, but there certainly was.

02:11:29.440 Dating is, was still, it, it wasn't really.

02:11:33.440 Thought out in the church.

02:11:35.060 And I don't really think it is as a whole.

02:11:37.180 It's, it's something that's more of an afterthought.

02:11:39.900 And then when stuff bad happens, the church is reacting towards them to hopefully fix them.

02:11:44.680 You know, one of the big things when I was involved deep in the church was like, Hey, I wish someone would teach guys how to do this.

02:11:51.020 Right. So they're not so feminine when they approach women because women are forced to be men nowadays, especially in, in church.

02:11:57.700 And, you know, I, I, I did, I did notice, I didn't notice a lot of sharing of men.

02:12:04.420 Like when you date a girl in the smaller churches, you pick one.

02:12:08.620 And then after that, you can't like talk to another girl for six months or it's typically seen as, Oh, you're a player.

02:12:17.000 You're a guy who wants to get around, um, when the bigger churches, you know, hold up.

02:12:22.240 If it didn't work, you might as well move on like six months.

02:12:25.520 Like they don't want you to, especially, especially with the man to, with the male to female ratio in the church.

02:12:33.680 Yeah. Like, how is he going to get married if he's got two chances a year?

02:12:38.720 Like you got two shots a year.

02:12:42.500 Yeah. Yeah. That's that, that's how it was.

02:12:45.080 It was really seen negatively from a social perspective to date around.

02:12:49.680 Um, and the, the smaller church I was a part of really instilled the guys asking,

02:12:55.620 but you couldn't ask out two girls in the same week cause they're all talking to each other.

02:12:59.740 Right.

02:13:00.220 You know, and so it was a dang, if I do dang, if I don't, you know, if I pick the wrong girl,

02:13:06.860 darn it, I'm done for six months.

02:13:09.220 And it just got to the point where I'm like, why am I trying to do this in the church?

02:13:15.020 Like what's, you know, what's really the purpose?

02:13:17.900 Cause I do want an out and a long-term relationship single now, you know, dating around.

02:13:23.260 But at the same time, I, you know, I think the current method and how things are done,

02:13:28.620 I think things need to be more purposeful and we don't have married couples trying to teach

02:13:33.780 single guys how to date, actually teach, you know, they can't, do you, do you know what these

02:13:39.000 married guys are doing this market? They'd be by themselves. They have no idea.

02:13:46.400 In the church, they're like, they're like, court her. You're like, these girls are getting

02:13:51.440 like banged out in college, man. You can't court these girls.

02:13:56.360 Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't.

02:13:58.880 She's got a kid, man.

02:14:00.920 I tried, I tried to avoid, you know, as much as I love single moms, you know, if you have

02:14:07.600 any of those listeners, you know, I love you, but you know, it got me in my thirties. Like

02:14:12.240 I try to avoid that because at the end of the day, it is, you know, the kid is going to be

02:14:18.020 first and I'm going to be second or third and everything's going to revolve around

02:14:21.680 the kid. And, you know, it's a decision that was made and, you know, I support it. There

02:14:26.040 are guys out there who make great second or third fathers, you know, support that. But

02:14:30.560 at the same time, that's not really what I'm looking for. You know, I don't know if I want

02:14:35.100 a kid right now, but at the same time, you know, I, I shouldn't feel like I have to choose

02:14:39.620 that early on. Hey, yeah, yeah. I have to, I have to, you know, say immediately, yes,

02:14:47.580 I'm okay with a kid in the picture. Did they ever sum it up and just say, it's just not

02:14:51.920 your problem, man. That's it. Yeah. It's not your problem. Did they ever try to force

02:14:56.340 like single mothers or subpar women on you where they're like, like trying to get you

02:15:01.160 to ask out or date women that you're just like, no, no, no. The tactic is now you're

02:15:08.880 getting older now and you might have to accept this or you might have to accept that because

02:15:12.700 you're getting older. You've heard that before, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, I, I, I was never forced

02:15:17.880 to coerce or, or requested to date a specific girl. Um, I I've had girls in the church, you know,

02:15:24.160 set me up with their friends and, um, sometimes those went well. Sometimes those, you know,

02:15:30.000 didn't, um, you know, however, you know, I, I think, I think at the end of the day,

02:15:35.860 the best thing that you can do is realize when it comes to, you know, if you don't interact

02:15:40.740 with women and actually 40% of guys today don't interact with women at all, they've never

02:15:45.980 approached a girl, you know, like if you realize, you know, the awkwardness that some guys may

02:15:52.140 express, a lot of that is on you and you have to fix that. Um, if, if, if you realize, Hey,

02:15:57.720 I have to fix that and have to make a decision to do so. And you start working on it, you know,

02:16:02.240 you'll find that, Holy crap, there's no competition at all between a masculine man and a woman out

02:16:08.600 there who wants to be approached, especially out here at Fort Lauderdale. Like a lot of it is

02:16:12.660 location. And also a lot of it is, Hey, confidence. Um, and when I found that out, I'm like, Oh, wow,

02:16:19.160 I absolutely have to take action here. Um, because I, you know, I'm getting in my mid thirties,

02:16:24.440 you know, I may look, I may look, uh, 2930 right now, but that's not going to last forever.

02:16:29.080 It's okay. We love a little gray. We love the gray and wrinkles. You guys got forever.

02:16:39.980 Um, yeah, no, that that's interesting though. The, the, I I'm sorry to hear about the false

02:16:47.880 accusations too bad, but it seems like something good came of it, right? You seem happier now.

02:16:52.740 I, I am, I am. I'm, I'm, I'm realizing there's a lot of growth that I still need to do on my side

02:16:58.920 of the fence. And, you know, I hope she finds solace. Um, because, you know, at the end of the

02:17:04.640 day, I, I don't want anybody to go through what I had to go through. Um, you know, the, the, just the

02:17:10.740 torture, the turmoil, the cell, like, there's no doubt that there's trauma that I'm working through

02:17:16.240 that. Like, where did I go wrong with this girl and trying to date other women for at least a year?

02:17:22.720 Like I'm scared, I, you know, and it's still a little bit on the back burner of being afraid of

02:17:27.800 women. Um, I'm working on, but you know, at the same time, like if I let it affect me, the only

02:17:34.240 person that it's going to harm is me. Like, you know, I, I don't want to be eternally watching porn all

02:17:40.160 the time. You know, I don't think, I don't think I deserve that. I think I deserve to be around

02:17:44.420 someone who wants, you know, who wants to express herself just as much as I do. Uh, but at the same

02:17:50.740 time, it's, uh, it, it is harder for Christian men and Christian women because of just how high

02:17:56.460 the pressure is all around from social to, you know, uh, from a religious standpoint, how much they

02:18:03.080 pressure their people to, Hey, you, you got to do this. This is what Christian people do.

02:18:07.500 Yeah. Do you have a ring camera now? Uh, I do. I do have a ring camera. Well, blink cameras.

02:18:16.680 Yeah. Yeah. I was like, just in case. That's what I'm saying. You better be filming everything.

02:18:20.780 Yeah. Well, you can't legally film everything.

02:18:25.060 In your own house? You can't? No, you can't film like, you can't film sex acts without consent.

02:18:31.600 That's illegal. Well, you know, have them sign an NDA. I don't know. I'm sorry. Um,

02:18:36.760 have them sign a contractual document each time. Yeah, you can do that. Or if you get like a ring

02:18:43.160 camera in like the living room and you know, like leading up, that's, that's not illegal. You know,

02:18:49.060 it's hard enough making a woman feel comfortable, you know, when you're trying to make yourself feel

02:18:54.100 comfortable at the same time. And then you just, here's an NDA. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck. You just be

02:19:00.580 like, it's like, she starts hooking up the living rooms. Like, wait, wait. Cause there

02:19:06.380 were these, there were these three, um, football players for some school. And the, they had these

02:19:12.140 two girls back at their house. And one of them just tried to say that she, a train ran on

02:19:17.080 her and, um, that the guys pulled out their phones and were like, Hey, you're, you're okay

02:19:24.160 doing this. Right. And the lady's like, well, why, why are you having me do that? It's because

02:19:28.040 our coach said that we need to film girls saying yes before we have sex with them.

02:19:33.980 Did they do it? Yeah. And that's what got him out of it. Oh, nice. Because a girl, like

02:19:40.140 a girl that night accused him and they had this phone footage where the girl said, I, I'm

02:19:44.960 okay with doing this. Wow. Yeah. But then the coach got in trouble because the guy said

02:19:51.820 that the coach told them to do that. So the coach ended up getting fired. The guys got

02:19:56.260 off the accusations, but then the coach ended up getting fired.

02:20:01.020 Wow. Yep. Wow. But you know, I'd say at the end of this, the catfishing is all, whether

02:20:07.600 you're in the church, you're out of the church.

02:20:11.160 That's everywhere, huh?

02:20:13.420 It's absolutely everywhere. I mean, I'll tell you that the, the great experiences I actually

02:20:18.200 found personally was through upward, you know, like I've tried through boo. It's nothing

02:20:22.380 but Chinese nationals posing as women. They found pictures on through Instagram. And, you

02:20:32.620 know, hinge for me has been fantastic. Bumble, you know, Bumble has been pretty good for me

02:20:37.260 too. Tinder. I don't, I don't mess around with Tinder, but upward was really, really good

02:20:44.180 when I was in DC, the Nova area. I had some great experiences on that.

02:20:48.820 Great. Great. Well, thanks so much for calling in. Um, you're a great caller. So call in any time.

02:20:55.740 We'll do. We'll do. Thank you, Pearl. Have a great day.

02:20:58.120 Thank you.

02:21:00.980 All right, Doug MPA, any final thoughts on this topic?

02:21:07.020 Um, I just, I can't get past the whole, if you're 30 to 35 and you pretend to be Christian

02:21:15.120 and you're holding a man to a Christian standard, but you've never been married and you don't have

02:21:19.160 any kids. It's a, it's a red flag. That's what, you know, what does St. Kevin Samuel say? You know,

02:21:24.700 if you're a Christian, what's your purpose on this planet? You know, to be a help meet, you know,

02:21:29.620 and you haven't been a guy's help meet yet, but you're Christian. Are you serious? So that's a big

02:21:33.700 red flag for me. If a woman's being the age of 30 and 35 and she's never been married,

02:21:38.080 doesn't have any kids.

02:21:38.840 Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you, Doug. Um, I think Christian women are worse. I actually think

02:21:46.660 they're worse because they require morality from the guy and bring no morality to the table where

02:21:53.320 liberal women require no morality on either side. There you go. All right, guys, thank you so much

02:22:01.440 for watching the show and thank you, Doug MPA. A pleasure as always. Um, guys go to the audacity

02:22:07.760 network.com if you want to support making us YouTube free. We are remonetized, but we do get,

02:22:12.740 um, I was demonetized for a year and a half. And so my goal is to get enough people on the website

02:22:18.180 where I'm not as, it's a little stressful and you know, also we're going to do a presentation

02:22:25.480 tomorrow on his government work for you. So if you want to see that, it's going to be live and you're

02:22:31.160 going to be able to ask questions directly to our guest speaker tomorrow. It's going to be after our

02:22:36.820 show. Thank you so much for watching like the video and I will see you guys tomorrow. Bye-bye.

02:23:06.820 Bye-bye.

02:23:36.820 Bye-bye.

02:23:37.820 Bye-bye.

02:24:06.820 Thank you.

02:24:36.820 Thank you.

JustPearlyThings - April 07, 2025

Christians On Dating Apps (Call-in Show) ｜ Pearl Daily

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