JustPearlyThings - April 15, 2023


Dating Coach Breaks Down Why Men Don't Approach Women

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
The Reason Women are Sh1tty Wives She tried To Slither Her way Through This Topic

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

211.16

Word count

2,014

Sentence count

142

Harmful content

Misogyny

7

sentences flagged

Toxicity

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the impact of the Me Too movement on male sexlessness, and how it has impacted the way men think about sex and consent. We also discuss the dangers of sexual assault in the modern era, and why men are more hesitant to have sex with women.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 So you really think that the Me Too movement has contributed to male sexlessness because they don't want the risk?
00:00:07.060 Yeah, because I have access to like thousands of clients and I hear these things all the time.
00:00:11.040 And, you know, the guys in Australia, a lot of them couldn't even leave because of the, you know, during the pandemic.
00:00:15.840 But they're really terrified about getting in a situation where a girl later says, hey, I changed my mind about consent.
00:00:21.140 And then what happens from there?
00:00:23.240 Right.
00:00:23.620 Or a guy, you know, approaching a girl and she doesn't like it, maybe in the UK, is he now going to get in trouble?
00:00:30.000 Right.
00:00:30.220 So as we said, not many people were called approaching to begin with.
00:00:33.500 But when you put these kind of restrictions on, guys are even more intimidated.
00:00:38.360 Right.
00:00:38.820 Because now there's not just rejection.
00:00:40.280 There's also legal consequences.
00:00:42.460 Has that ever happened to any of your clients or someone you know?
00:00:46.020 Getting in trouble for, I can't think of any instances, but I think it's more of a, it just makes people gun shy.
00:00:53.440 Yeah.
00:00:53.960 It's more that it could happen.
00:00:55.340 Yeah.
00:00:55.540 And they don't want to, you know, just the fact that that exists, it makes them just not want to even be part of that.
00:01:01.980 Yeah.
00:01:02.440 So like why, you know, they don't want to put their freedom on the line or something like that to get a hookup. 0.96
00:01:06.560 Yeah.
00:01:06.980 That's kind of because I, and I'm doing the documentary on the court system here and I'm starting to like learn, you don't even have to be married.
00:01:13.920 It's a crazy thing. 0.93
00:01:14.680 It's just with a kid, just the shit that guys go through, especially with getting access to their kids. 0.98
00:01:20.520 And they can get a lot of false accusations because here they're literally paid. 0.99
00:01:25.580 They're given free counsel.
00:01:26.740 If you accuse a guy of assault and a lot of the centers here know that.
00:01:30.700 So they encourage the woman to do it. 0.99
00:01:33.160 Yeah.
00:01:33.580 And even though it doesn't happen to every guy, I'm like listening to these stories.
00:01:37.580 I'm like, if I was a guy, I would be so.
00:01:39.960 I've heard a lot of stories like that from clients where like, basically like, like women that cheat, for instance, if the husband finds out, like I've heard of a lot of situations where the guy gets screwed because the woman just says, you know, the guy that hooked up, the woman just says like it was non-consensual just so she can save the marriage.
00:01:58.100 And there's no consequence on the woman.
00:01:59.540 Again, I'm not saying like sexual assault doesn't happen and it's not a real problem, but it's like a nice little like roll of the dice in a bunch of cases where I know people specifically where, you know,
00:02:09.960 it's like a real danger, even in, even in the U S like a guy, I had a client where he, he basically like, um, had sex with a girl in Las Vegas in a hotel room.
00:02:18.580 And she said, Oh, I paid for the room, like stay the night.
00:02:20.600 And he said, no, I'm going to leave.
00:02:21.660 And she ran down and said, Oh, you know, he, he graped me basically.
00:02:26.080 And, you know, situations like that, or if they cheat and then the partner finds out, it's just very easy to say it wasn't consensual so they can save the marriage and they don't care what happens to the guy's life.
00:02:35.620 Right.
00:02:36.000 And then it just becomes a, he said, she said.
00:02:38.020 Yes.
00:02:38.280 I'm just curious for the girls.
00:02:40.560 Um, if you were in the position of guys where the laws were against you,
00:02:44.180 I do need to say something about this.
00:02:46.200 It's interesting, right?
00:02:48.840 And so a lot of people do mention toxic masculinity, but I definitely think the crisis that's happening and I can see it.
00:02:59.220 It's, if I label it is from toxic femininity, femininity, I can't really say the word properly.
00:03:04.460 Because how do you, how do you expect people to express themselves when they're scared?
00:03:11.360 Men, boys are so scared to express themselves, to approach you.
00:03:17.460 But the main complaint from all of my girlfriends or the people that I know is the men are not being men enough.
00:03:24.000 Yeah.
00:03:24.180 They're not like literally approaching.
00:03:26.160 Exactly.
00:03:26.800 But look, who created that?
00:03:28.780 Yeah.
00:03:28.920 But then when we have laws like that, how can, because I'm just thinking if I was in their point of view and you guys can tell me if you agree or disagree, but I would be really hesitant.
00:03:36.700 And then also we complain about men not wanting to get married.
00:03:42.260 But if you look at the laws in here in the West, I won't get married.
00:03:47.060 Why would I get married and like risk 50% of my income?
00:03:51.540 Mainly I make the most out of that income.
00:03:54.180 And I don't think that's fair as well.
00:03:55.860 There is, there is a privilege for women and there is a man privilege as well. 1.00
00:04:00.080 And I think men.
00:04:00.700 I'll tell you, it's not even marriage.
00:04:02.200 It's, it's just having a kid.
00:04:03.940 Exactly.
00:04:04.340 That's the crazy thing.
00:04:05.200 I just talked to this guy the other day and he wasn't legally married.
00:04:08.820 He just had a kid here.
00:04:10.080 Yeah.
00:04:10.600 And what she did was she went to like a woman's shelter and basically at the woman's shelter, they tell the girls like what to say about the guy based on his background.
00:04:21.620 I know some of these people.
00:04:23.040 Yeah.
00:04:23.340 And so for him, he was Muslim and she basically said that everything she did the last 10 years, she didn't actually consent to doing because it was under his control.
00:04:33.200 Like control allegedly, even though she was fine with it while they were married.
00:04:37.060 Yes.
00:04:37.480 And then they don't really get a fair shot in court.
00:04:40.120 Yes.
00:04:40.500 And, and it took him over a year to actually get to go to court.
00:04:43.720 So he didn't see his kid for a year with no evidence.
00:04:46.500 Yeah.
00:04:46.780 Yeah.
00:04:46.960 And that's normal.
00:04:48.220 Yeah.
00:04:48.240 It's normal.
00:04:48.600 And you know, it's funny.
00:04:49.500 I think things are changing now after Amber heard.
00:04:52.720 Yeah.
00:04:53.000 You know, I think the court and people and judges are kind of like looking for more evidence and then thinking, okay, maybe are there, women are using these. 0.99
00:05:04.760 Listen, I stand up for women.
00:05:06.280 I love women. 1.00
00:05:06.860 But I think also abusing men, I don't stand for it.
00:05:11.920 I think there's have to be a balance between men, femininity and masculinity. 0.93
00:05:16.100 And you have to honor each other.
00:05:18.020 And that's the thing.
00:05:19.180 It's that balance, isn't it?
00:05:20.040 Because I think there was a movement at one point where it was believe all women, which goes completely against our tenants of actual, you know, innocent unto proven guilty.
00:05:28.740 It was just if a woman says it, then it's, and I get it where it's come from.
00:05:31.580 Like you said earlier, I mean, you know, there's been a lot of historical wrongs against women. 1.00
00:05:35.040 So there was a real natural need to, you know, redress that.
00:05:38.400 But I think the pendulum has just swung so far all over to the other way where it's like everyone's suffering.
00:05:45.220 Men are suffering, but now women are actually suffering because there are, like you say, a lot of your friends are single because men are terrified.
00:05:51.160 And I get the cries from some quarters in society where people say it's a deliberate thing to actually completely dismantle relationships.
00:06:00.180 Because that almost seems the only logical explanation is like there's almost like this real concerted effort to completely dismantle marriage.
00:06:07.040 Because that's the only way you can explain it to a certain extent, isn't it? 1.00
00:06:10.380 Because some of the laws are so crazy, so stupid. 1.00
00:06:13.240 I'm so sinister. 1.00
00:06:14.100 It's like that is not fostering proper relationships, proper marriage.
00:06:17.940 And we can see the stats of, you know, especially boys from single parent families.
00:06:21.460 I mean, my God, from crime to health to life chances to every stat goes against them.
00:06:27.240 So why are we as a society pushing this real, almost like an agenda to split people up?
00:06:32.140 Have you ever thought about how it changes the dynamics of relationships?
00:06:35.620 Because when you think about it, if you're, okay, if you're in a deal, right, with someone and one party gains everything by leaving and one party loses everything by leaving, leaving, the person that loses everything is always going to be trying to appease the one that gains everything.
00:06:48.300 And so I feel like that's why we get phrases like she wears the pants in the relationship.
00:06:54.540 Yeah.
00:06:54.940 And happy wife, happy life.
00:06:56.240 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:57.100 Yeah, because 80% of relationships are, oh, sorry, 80% of divorces are initiated by women, right? 1.00
00:07:01.720 Are initiated by women. 1.00
00:07:02.220 I mean, it's no surprise.
00:07:03.360 Guys would be terrified, isn't it?
00:07:04.680 Yeah, Pearl, just going back to what you said about, you know, like women that flee from men and will make up this story and stuff like that.
00:07:15.200 In the UK, it is so easy to do that.
00:07:18.660 It's so easy to say, you know, I'm in this situation, like, for example, that person that, you know, they said I was with a Muslim guy.
00:07:26.440 He done this, this, this and this.
00:07:27.960 It's so easy for women to do that, for women to go to shelters and for men, it's like, it's, they're not even hurt, like, at all.
00:07:37.420 Well, it's because in family court, I'm learning about this now, so I might butcher it, but it's up to the discretion of a judge.
00:07:43.580 So normally, like, if you go to criminal court, you have to convince a jury, and that's a little, and it's based on evidence, where in family court, it's based on a balance of probabilities.
00:07:52.880 So they're not even 100% sure if he's guilty.
00:07:55.300 In the UK, this is even before the court, like, if you, yeah, yeah, like, if you called, I don't really know, like, the lines and stuff, but if you, for example, said to your doctor, I'm in this, even though you might not be, because say, I'm in this relationship, this person is, like, you know, domestic violence, I have a child, you can leave that night, and then they'll take you to, like, a refuge or something.
00:08:20.640 Like, it's so easy for women. I'm not saying that there's not women out there that actually do need that, because they do, but there's also women that are taking advantage of that, and once you get to that point, you can get benefits, you can get housing, like, there's so much more, but before the court, I'm saying, like, before the court.
00:08:37.220 Well, and they kick him out of the house, because that's what he was telling me, he was saying, you first go to either a teacher or a doctor, and then they take you to the women's shelter, and they tell you what to say, and then one call to the police, they have, the women's shelter instructs you on what to say to the police.
00:08:50.640 So he's gone, basically.
00:08:52.260 Yeah, the police can take them the next day.
00:08:53.940 Yeah, yeah, and so one, like, there's one guy who got one call, and it was, I forgot what exactly the words he said, but it was basically, like, get out of the house, and he still has to pay for the mortgage on the house, because it's in his name, and then he slept with $1,500 in child support a month.
00:09:09.460 Easily.
00:09:09.820 And then he lost his job, because he was so, like, you know, I mean, he just lost his kids and everything he owned.
00:09:15.960 I have one client that basically.
00:09:17.220 I was just banned on TikTok, and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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