JustPearlyThings - July 21, 2023


Dating Coach EXPOSES Why Men Stay In Toxic Relationships


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

210.8548

Word Count

2,151

Sentence Count

2

Misogynist Sentences

13

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 and i'm doing the documentary on the court system here and i'm starting to like learn um you don't
00:00:05.160 even have to be married it's a crazy thing it's just with a kid um just the shit that guys go
00:00:10.040 through um especially with getting access to their kids and they can get a lot of false accusations
00:00:14.660 because here um they're literally paid um they're given free counsel if you accuse a guy of assault
00:00:20.280 and a lot of the centers here know that so they encourage the women to do it um yeah and even
00:00:26.480 though it doesn't happen to every guy i'm like listening to these stories i'm like if i was a
00:00:30.860 guy i would be so i've heard a lot of stories like that from clients where like basically like like
00:00:35.540 women that cheat for instance if the the husband finds out like i've heard of a lot of situations
00:00:41.700 where the guy um gets screwed because the woman just says you know the guy that hooked up the
00:00:47.120 woman just says like it was non-consensual just so she can save the marriage and there's no consequence
00:00:51.240 on the woman again i'm not saying like sexual assault doesn't happen and it's not a real problem
00:00:55.280 but it's like a nice little like roll of the dice in in a bunch of cases where i know people
00:01:00.300 specifically where you know it's like a real danger even in even in the u.s like a guy i had a client
00:01:06.680 where he he basically like um had sex with a girl in las vegas in a hotel room and she said oh i paid
00:01:11.660 for the room like stay the night and he said i'm gonna leave and she ran down and said oh you know
00:01:15.700 he he graped me basically and you know situations like that or if they cheat and then the partner finds out
00:01:22.100 it's just very easy to say it wasn't consensual so they can save the marriage and they don't care
00:01:26.760 what happens to the guy's life right and then it just becomes a he said she said yes i'm just curious
00:01:31.820 for the girls um if you were in the position of guys where the laws were against you i do need to
00:01:37.000 say something about this it's interesting right and so a lot of people do mention toxic masculinity but i
00:01:46.720 definitely think the crisis that's happening and i can see it it's if i label it is from toxic
00:01:53.620 femininity i can't really say the word properly because how do you how do you expect people to
00:02:00.960 express themselves when they're scared men boys are so scared to express themselves to approach you
00:02:09.640 but the main complaint from all of my girlfriends or the people that i know is the men are not being
00:02:15.020 men enough yeah they're not like literally approaching exactly but look who created that
00:02:20.940 but then when we have laws like that how can because i'm just thinking if i was in their point of view
00:02:25.420 and you guys can tell me if you agree or disagree but i would be really hesitant if that was a law
00:02:29.880 and then also we complain about men not wanting to get married but if you look at the laws in here in
00:02:36.440 the west i won't get married why would i get married and like risk 50 of my income mainly i make the most
00:02:45.000 out of that income and i don't think that's fair as well there is there is a privilege for women and
00:02:50.800 there's a man privilege as well and i think i'll tell you it's not even marriage it's um it's just
00:02:55.160 having a kid exactly that's the crazy thing i just talked to this guy um the other day and he wasn't
00:03:00.300 legally married he just had a kid here um and what she did was she um went to like a woman's shelter
00:03:07.780 and basically at the woman's shelter they tell the girls like what to say about the guy based on his
00:03:13.000 background i know he's some of these people yeah and so um for him for him he was muslim and she
00:03:18.580 basically said that everything she did the last 10 years she didn't actually consent to doing
00:03:23.160 because it was under his control like control allegedly even though she was fine with it while they were
00:03:28.760 married yes and then they don't really get a fair shot in court yes and and it took him over a year
00:03:34.680 to actually get to go to court so he didn't see his kid for a year with no evidence yeah yeah and that's
00:03:39.820 normal and you know what's funny i think things are changing now after amber heard yeah you know i think
00:03:46.640 the court and people and judges are kind of like looking for more evidence and then thinking okay
00:03:54.400 maybe are there women are using these listen i stand up for women i love women but i think also
00:04:00.280 abusing men i don't stand for it i think there's have to be a balance between men femininity and
00:04:07.880 masculinity and you have to honor each other you know what you said it's that balance isn't it because
00:04:12.300 i think there was a movement at one point where it was believe all women which goes completely against
00:04:17.200 our tenants of actual you know innocent onto proven guilty it was just if a woman says it then it's
00:04:22.180 and i get it where it's come from like you said earlier i mean you know there's been a lot of
00:04:25.820 historical wrongs against women so there was a real natural need to you know redress that but i
00:04:30.940 think the pendulum has just swung so far all over to the other way where it's like everyone's suffering
00:04:36.840 men are suffering but now women are actually suffering because there are like you say a lot of
00:04:40.820 your friends are single because men are terrified and i i i i i get the cries from some quarters in
00:04:47.860 society where people say it's a deliberate thing to actually completely dismantle relationships
00:04:52.040 because that almost seems the only logical explanation it's like there's almost like
00:04:55.680 this real concerted effort to completely dismantle marriage because that's the only way you can
00:05:00.840 explain it to a certain extent isn't it because some of the laws are so crazy so stupid i'm so
00:05:05.680 sinister it's like that is not fostering proper relationships proper marriage and we can see the
00:05:10.620 stats of you know especially boys from single parent families i mean my god from crime to health to
00:05:16.800 life chances to every stat goes against them so why are we a society pushing this real almost like
00:05:22.900 an agenda to split people up have you ever thought about how it changes the dynamics of relationships
00:05:27.760 because when you think about it if you're okay if you're in a deal right with someone and one party
00:05:31.960 gains everything by leaving and one party loses everything by leading leaving the person that loses
00:05:36.860 everything is always going to be trying to appease the one that gains everything and so and so i feel like
00:05:41.760 that's why we get we get um phrases like she wears the pants in the relationship yeah because happy
00:05:47.700 wife happy life yeah yeah yeah because 80 of relationships are oh sorry 80 of divorces are
00:05:52.800 initiated by women right women i mean it's no surprise guys would be terrified isn't it yeah pearl just going
00:05:58.100 back to what you said about um you know like women that flee from men and will make up this story and
00:06:06.300 stuff like that in the uk it is so easy to do that it's so easy to say you know um i'm in this situation
00:06:14.920 like for example that person that you know they said i was with a muslim guy he done this this this and
00:06:20.000 this it's so easy for women to do that for women to go to shelters and for men it's like it's they're not
00:06:27.280 even heard like at all well it's cousin family court um i'm learning about this now so i might butcher it
00:06:33.540 but it's up to the discretion of a judge um so normally like if you go to criminal court you you have to
00:06:38.980 convince a jury and that's a little and it's based on evidence where in family court it's based on a
00:06:43.700 balance of probabilities so they're not even 100 sure if he's guilty in the uk this is even before the
00:06:50.580 court like if you yeah yeah like if you called i don't really know like the lines and stuff but if you
00:06:57.640 for example said to your doctor i'm in this even though you might not be because say i'm in this
00:07:03.400 relationship this person is like you know domestic violence i have a child you can leave that night
00:07:10.160 and then they'll take you to like a refuge or something like it's so easy for women i'm not
00:07:15.220 saying that there's not women out there that actually do need that because they do but there's
00:07:19.480 also women that are taking advantage of that and once you get to that point you can get benefits you
00:07:24.360 can get housing like there's so much more before the court i'm saying like before the court well and
00:07:29.780 they kick him out of the house because that's what he was telling me he was saying you first go
00:07:33.400 to either a teacher or a doctor and then they take you to the women's shelter and they tell you what
00:07:37.140 to say and then one call um to the police they have the women's shelter instructs you on what to say
00:07:42.520 to the police so he's gone basically yeah the police can take them the next day yeah yeah and so um
00:07:47.680 one like there's one guy who got one call and it was i forgot what exactly the words he said but it
00:07:53.080 was basically like get out of the house and he still has to pay for the mortgage on the house
00:07:57.780 because it's in his name and then he slapped with 1500 in child support a month easily and then
00:08:02.380 he lost his job because he was so yeah like you know i mean he just lost his kids and everything
00:08:07.360 he owned i have one client that basically um he built the whole you know financial situation the
00:08:13.440 wife was staying home with the kids and he came home one day early from work and his wife was with
00:08:18.620 another guy and you know the guy was like running out the back door whatever but what's interesting is
00:08:23.360 that she ended up getting the whole house like almost full custody of the kids and like totally
00:08:28.400 ruined his life but he didn't do anything wrong right just the way the system is set up and that
00:08:32.420 doesn't mean like oh everyone needs to go MGTOW now and don't ever get married but that really like
00:08:36.760 calls into question here that was not even something he did you know he didn't do anything wrong but the
00:08:42.320 courts are going to side with the woman in most cases in the western world yeah and that's it's hard
00:08:46.800 because there's not really a way to avoid it out here because even the guy that i talked to the
00:08:52.880 other day he wasn't legally married it was just exactly you don't even need to be married like it's
00:08:58.180 just it's so easy like as soon as you go through the doctor like that day they will send you to like
00:09:04.820 the do you know someone that's happened to yeah that's why tell me tell me what happened um so i
00:09:13.660 know somebody that was in just in a normal relationship no problem whatever but they needed
00:09:20.640 housing yeah like there's nothing to do with a partner so they just created their own partner in
00:09:28.640 the head got into a refuge no way waited a year was in temporary housing and then got into a flat
00:09:37.060 so they even need like any type of evidence you don't need evidence like what now nowadays they're
00:09:42.140 cracking onto it more but i know back then it was easy if you if i said i'm in a really they don't even
00:09:48.440 need to know the guy if i just and i literally they don't even need to be a fake person and i'm not
00:09:53.480 saying like i haven't done that i still live at home i'm just saying an example right people but
00:09:58.400 that's how easy it is in the uk like people take advantage of the system so yeah the number of abuse
00:10:04.720 allegations increased uh 200 when they implemented that law i think it was 2013 um so yeah