JustPearlyThings - July 21, 2023


Dating Coach EXPOSES Why Men Stay In Toxic Relationships

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Pearl Gets DISGUSTED Out By This Pic This Feminist COULD NOT Defend Her Own Claims

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

210.85

Word count

2,151

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Toxicity

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I sit down with my good friend and documentary maker, Alyssa Milano, to talk about sexual assault in the legal system, toxic femininity, and toxic masculinity. We talk about how toxic masculinity is the root cause of so many of the problems we see in the world, and why we need to address it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 and i'm doing the documentary on the court system here and i'm starting to like learn um you don't 0.99
00:00:05.160 even have to be married it's a crazy thing it's just with a kid um just the shit that guys go 0.81
00:00:10.040 through um especially with getting access to their kids and they can get a lot of false accusations 0.88
00:00:14.660 because here um they're literally paid um they're given free counsel if you accuse a guy of assault
00:00:20.280 and a lot of the centers here know that so they encourage the women to do it um yeah and even 1.00
00:00:26.480 though it doesn't happen to every guy i'm like listening to these stories i'm like if i was a
00:00:30.860 guy i would be so i've heard a lot of stories like that from clients where like basically like like
00:00:35.540 women that cheat for instance if the the husband finds out like i've heard of a lot of situations 1.00
00:00:41.700 where the guy um gets screwed because the woman just says you know the guy that hooked up the 1.00
00:00:47.120 woman just says like it was non-consensual just so she can save the marriage and there's no consequence 0.99
00:00:51.240 on the woman again i'm not saying like sexual assault doesn't happen and it's not a real problem
00:00:55.280 but it's like a nice little like roll of the dice in in a bunch of cases where i know people
00:01:00.300 specifically where you know it's like a real danger even in even in the u.s like a guy i had a client
00:01:06.680 where he he basically like um had sex with a girl in las vegas in a hotel room and she said oh i paid
00:01:11.660 for the room like stay the night and he said i'm gonna leave and she ran down and said oh you know
00:01:15.700 he he graped me basically and you know situations like that or if they cheat and then the partner finds out
00:01:22.100 it's just very easy to say it wasn't consensual so they can save the marriage and they don't care
00:01:26.760 what happens to the guy's life right and then it just becomes a he said she said yes i'm just curious
00:01:31.820 for the girls um if you were in the position of guys where the laws were against you i do need to
00:01:37.000 say something about this it's interesting right and so a lot of people do mention toxic masculinity but i
00:01:46.720 definitely think the crisis that's happening and i can see it it's if i label it is from toxic
00:01:53.620 femininity i can't really say the word properly because how do you how do you expect people to
00:02:00.960 express themselves when they're scared men boys are so scared to express themselves to approach you
00:02:09.640 but the main complaint from all of my girlfriends or the people that i know is the men are not being
00:02:15.020 men enough yeah they're not like literally approaching exactly but look who created that
00:02:20.940 but then when we have laws like that how can because i'm just thinking if i was in their point of view
00:02:25.420 and you guys can tell me if you agree or disagree but i would be really hesitant if that was a law
00:02:29.880 and then also we complain about men not wanting to get married but if you look at the laws in here in
00:02:36.440 the west i won't get married why would i get married and like risk 50 of my income mainly i make the most
00:02:45.000 out of that income and i don't think that's fair as well there is there is a privilege for women and 1.00
00:02:50.800 there's a man privilege as well and i think i'll tell you it's not even marriage it's um it's just
00:02:55.160 having a kid exactly that's the crazy thing i just talked to this guy um the other day and he wasn't
00:03:00.300 legally married he just had a kid here um and what she did was she um went to like a woman's shelter 0.97
00:03:07.780 and basically at the woman's shelter they tell the girls like what to say about the guy based on his
00:03:13.000 background i know he's some of these people yeah and so um for him for him he was muslim and she
00:03:18.580 basically said that everything she did the last 10 years she didn't actually consent to doing
00:03:23.160 because it was under his control like control allegedly even though she was fine with it while they were
00:03:28.760 married yes and then they don't really get a fair shot in court yes and and it took him over a year
00:03:34.680 to actually get to go to court so he didn't see his kid for a year with no evidence yeah yeah and that's
00:03:39.820 normal and you know what's funny i think things are changing now after amber heard yeah you know i think
00:03:46.640 the court and people and judges are kind of like looking for more evidence and then thinking okay
00:03:54.400 maybe are there women are using these listen i stand up for women i love women but i think also 0.97
00:04:00.280 abusing men i don't stand for it i think there's have to be a balance between men femininity and
00:04:07.880 masculinity and you have to honor each other you know what you said it's that balance isn't it because
00:04:12.300 i think there was a movement at one point where it was believe all women which goes completely against
00:04:17.200 our tenants of actual you know innocent onto proven guilty it was just if a woman says it then it's 0.93
00:04:22.180 and i get it where it's come from like you said earlier i mean you know there's been a lot of
00:04:25.820 historical wrongs against women so there was a real natural need to you know redress that but i 1.00
00:04:30.940 think the pendulum has just swung so far all over to the other way where it's like everyone's suffering
00:04:36.840 men are suffering but now women are actually suffering because there are like you say a lot of 0.99
00:04:40.820 your friends are single because men are terrified and i i i i i get the cries from some quarters in
00:04:47.860 society where people say it's a deliberate thing to actually completely dismantle relationships
00:04:52.040 because that almost seems the only logical explanation it's like there's almost like
00:04:55.680 this real concerted effort to completely dismantle marriage because that's the only way you can 1.00
00:05:00.840 explain it to a certain extent isn't it because some of the laws are so crazy so stupid i'm so 0.98
00:05:05.680 sinister it's like that is not fostering proper relationships proper marriage and we can see the 0.98
00:05:10.620 stats of you know especially boys from single parent families i mean my god from crime to health to 1.00
00:05:16.800 life chances to every stat goes against them so why are we a society pushing this real almost like
00:05:22.900 an agenda to split people up have you ever thought about how it changes the dynamics of relationships
00:05:27.760 because when you think about it if you're okay if you're in a deal right with someone and one party
00:05:31.960 gains everything by leaving and one party loses everything by leading leaving the person that loses
00:05:36.860 everything is always going to be trying to appease the one that gains everything and so and so i feel like
00:05:41.760 that's why we get we get um phrases like she wears the pants in the relationship yeah because happy
00:05:47.700 wife happy life yeah yeah yeah because 80 of relationships are oh sorry 80 of divorces are
00:05:52.800 initiated by women right women i mean it's no surprise guys would be terrified isn't it yeah pearl just going 0.89
00:05:58.100 back to what you said about um you know like women that flee from men and will make up this story and
00:06:06.300 stuff like that in the uk it is so easy to do that it's so easy to say you know um i'm in this situation
00:06:14.920 like for example that person that you know they said i was with a muslim guy he done this this this and
00:06:20.000 this it's so easy for women to do that for women to go to shelters and for men it's like it's they're not
00:06:27.280 even heard like at all well it's cousin family court um i'm learning about this now so i might butcher it
00:06:33.540 but it's up to the discretion of a judge um so normally like if you go to criminal court you you have to
00:06:38.980 convince a jury and that's a little and it's based on evidence where in family court it's based on a
00:06:43.700 balance of probabilities so they're not even 100 sure if he's guilty in the uk this is even before the
00:06:50.580 court like if you yeah yeah like if you called i don't really know like the lines and stuff but if you
00:06:57.640 for example said to your doctor i'm in this even though you might not be because say i'm in this
00:07:03.400 relationship this person is like you know domestic violence i have a child you can leave that night
00:07:10.160 and then they'll take you to like a refuge or something like it's so easy for women i'm not
00:07:15.220 saying that there's not women out there that actually do need that because they do but there's 1.00
00:07:19.480 also women that are taking advantage of that and once you get to that point you can get benefits you 1.00
00:07:24.360 can get housing like there's so much more before the court i'm saying like before the court well and
00:07:29.780 they kick him out of the house because that's what he was telling me he was saying you first go
00:07:33.400 to either a teacher or a doctor and then they take you to the women's shelter and they tell you what
00:07:37.140 to say and then one call um to the police they have the women's shelter instructs you on what to say 0.90
00:07:42.520 to the police so he's gone basically yeah the police can take them the next day yeah yeah and so um
00:07:47.680 one like there's one guy who got one call and it was i forgot what exactly the words he said but it
00:07:53.080 was basically like get out of the house and he still has to pay for the mortgage on the house
00:07:57.780 because it's in his name and then he slapped with 1500 in child support a month easily and then
00:08:02.380 he lost his job because he was so yeah like you know i mean he just lost his kids and everything
00:08:07.360 he owned i have one client that basically um he built the whole you know financial situation the
00:08:13.440 wife was staying home with the kids and he came home one day early from work and his wife was with
00:08:18.620 another guy and you know the guy was like running out the back door whatever but what's interesting is
00:08:23.360 that she ended up getting the whole house like almost full custody of the kids and like totally
00:08:28.400 ruined his life but he didn't do anything wrong right just the way the system is set up and that
00:08:32.420 doesn't mean like oh everyone needs to go MGTOW now and don't ever get married but that really like
00:08:36.760 calls into question here that was not even something he did you know he didn't do anything wrong but the
00:08:42.320 courts are going to side with the woman in most cases in the western world yeah and that's it's hard 0.99
00:08:46.800 because there's not really a way to avoid it out here because even the guy that i talked to the
00:08:52.880 other day he wasn't legally married it was just exactly you don't even need to be married like it's
00:08:58.180 just it's so easy like as soon as you go through the doctor like that day they will send you to like
00:09:04.820 the do you know someone that's happened to yeah that's why tell me tell me what happened um so i
00:09:13.660 know somebody that was in just in a normal relationship no problem whatever but they needed
00:09:20.640 housing yeah like there's nothing to do with a partner so they just created their own partner in
00:09:28.640 the head got into a refuge no way waited a year was in temporary housing and then got into a flat
00:09:37.060 so they even need like any type of evidence you don't need evidence like what now nowadays they're
00:09:42.140 cracking onto it more but i know back then it was easy if you if i said i'm in a really they don't even
00:09:48.440 need to know the guy if i just and i literally they don't even need to be a fake person and i'm not
00:09:53.480 saying like i haven't done that i still live at home i'm just saying an example right people but
00:09:58.400 that's how easy it is in the uk like people take advantage of the system so yeah the number of abuse
00:10:04.720 allegations increased uh 200 when they implemented that law i think it was 2013 um so yeah