Dating Coach REVEALS How To Deal With Rejection
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
232.81703
Summary
In this episode, we talk about the fear of rejection and how to overcome it. We also talk about how to get over it, how to open up to girls, and what to do when you re rejected by a girl.
Transcript
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improve that's the future that we're going to see i wanted to comment on the the rejection thing
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so like what i've found over over 10 years of coaching this stuff now is that most guys have
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this unrealistic expectation that they want every girl to like them so i tell them like if you were
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cold calling in sales or you were knocking doors it doesn't matter if you're the best salesman in
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the world you're going to encounter people that just tell you to fuck off or they're going to
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tell you i'm not interested and a lot of those things are outside of your control like there
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exists girls that have boyfriends and husbands that don't want to cheat when you talk to them
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in the club there's girls that are in a bad mood they don't like you for whatever reason instead
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of taking that personally and thinking i suck think okay that one's just not interested this one
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probably will but most men get deflated and then they bring that negative energy into the next
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interaction and then that causes them to get rejected with a higher chance it's gonna be hard
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not to i mean i worked in sales i sold the copiers and i'm telling you there's nothing worse than
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selling you it's like to sell like a stand-up ten thousand dollar copy machine who wants that and i'm
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like i i can't even imagine because when i did that job it was so soul-sucking yeah that i'm like
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go getting rejected all the and that contributes to the problem right because the guys have to
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develop almost like an emotional resilience yeah yeah you have to where you just have like this
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thick skin and you just know that when you hit those girls that aren't interested there's going
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to be other girls that are interested and but a lot of guys will take it personally i get clients
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they'll go up get two or three rejections and they just give up and they stop approaching for the
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night so what's what's your advice to men that want to overcome their fear of rejection
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well i tell them to follow uh the old school three second rule right so you have less than
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three seconds to go in once you see the attractive girl and then assume it's going to go well and if
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it doesn't don't take it personally and i i give them strategies for how to open properly
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or like with direct eye contact speaking loud enough smiling etc versus like coming in meek and
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passive and this and that so i give them chances to give or give them strategies to give them the
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best chances but then also be realistic about the fact that it's not going to work out with some
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girls no matter how good you get no matter how high value you get or anything there's still
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gonna be girls that don't like you and there's coaches that are like when you get good enough
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there's no more rejections that's false or you're never gonna get flaked on a date it's like really
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people don't have things come up in their schedule so these are just part of the game people have to
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be able to just deal with those things and not take it super personally what about the ladies what's
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your advice that to men that want to overcome their fear of rejection um i'm gonna i haven't heard too much
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from you so i want to hear from these three first i feel like the more that you do something the more
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confidence you'll have when you do it like rejection is not always rejection i like the phrase
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rejection is redirection so it's like just do it there's a quote i don't know what it's like it's
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like confidence is the amount of times you do something okay something like basically just do it
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just try put yourself out there what's a good opening line and i want the guys to say if you think
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these are good that a guy should use two girl i want the i want the dating coaches to rate it
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oh shit i know i don't have words like that i like i'm joking um i like when a guy says um
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um okay i like when a guy says hi excuse me you're looking really beautiful today
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um or say hi um how are you did it like something like that i don't know i like i like to be
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complimented like oh oh do you need help with i don't know if they see me doing something or
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oh what are you doing here today i don't know like nice not like forward like i don't know so the good
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opening line is hi you look very beautiful today how are you yeah yeah no no hi you look very beautiful
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today like like what's your name like where are you from like do you mind if i could
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okay good or bad uh it depends on like you know if he's like kissing your ass or like supplicating
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and like that but if it's just like a nice compliment that's fine yeah confident now that you
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asked me i think i'm part of the problem that we're talking about because if a guy was to move
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to me on the street i wouldn't take him seriously for sure that's the thing it depends on how he does
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yeah i think it depends i would just assume that he does that with everyone but he's single so
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yeah he's very good he wouldn't say the hi you're beautiful yeah it's a bit cringe
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how's that cringe that's okay okay so you think it's cringe you think it's okay it depends i mean
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like those like london day game guys were like hello i thought you were hot and like that and they're
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just doing that like in mass right yeah that's why he said it depends on how you say it that's nice my
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opener for 10 years just been i wanted to meet you real quick it's like very direct i want to
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to meet you and you say like when they're like how are you yeah yes that's that's the way but
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the whole pedestal oh my god you're beautiful how many times did you know like that but like
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you're putting her on a kind of level of oh my god you're so beautiful i'm not used to no just hey
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how's it going what's your name how's it going depends on the frame of how it comes across like
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you don't want a guy that comes up wow you're like the most amazing you don't want that just like
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oh i just saw you like i thought you look really beautiful like you know what are you doing around
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here like what you're doing today like that kind of thing what do you what's your advice
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to guys and what's your opening line my love lang my love language is acts of service so if it's
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something very simple as let me get that for you as he's opening the doors my knees start to go weak
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or even yeah or even at the bar i was like let me get that for you i'm just like okay all right
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it's like jay waller he says don't open doors for girls no
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i still believe in that um but also with me i'm very i'm a person that's very aware and i also know
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that rejection is very hard so if a guy does take does approach me i know it's taken him a lot to be
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able to do that so i'm not going to reject him and be rude and say oh i'm not interested i'm going to go
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with the flow of the conversation and i'll let him down gently but i think it also what you were saying
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that you're the problem it it takes us to be as human beings to be empathetic as well to understand
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that he's still a human he does still have feelings it has taken a lot for him to approach
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you so just be nice yeah so what do you what do you think of her i like that see because that's
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quite natural isn't let me get a door for you where you have to yeah how's it going yeah
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i don't know i don't like anything that's like all like contrived and i mean that's not going
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to even happen that often right like in terms of like situation dependent but but i mean i think
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just starting the conversation being direct as long as there's not like fancy gamey gimmicky
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stuff then that's thumbs up for me okay what about you what's your advice to men what's a pickup line
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that you like i don't have like a specific pickup line but i'd say be confident not arrogant
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and be just be straightforward what's the difference between confidence and arrogance well i feel like
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in the context how good looking he is no i feel like with the context that we're talking about
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you don't want to come off as i know i'm coming to get you and i'm getting you and i'm i've got you
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do you get one do you know i'm trying to think no i think i think confidence is i don't mind getting
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rejected but if you reject me i'll walk off like a man and i won't oh you're dead anyway or do you know
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oh that's the worst if a guy is mad yeah that's a uk thing though yeah like for example no it's not
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just a uk and that happens in sales too right i don't know if you saw that in sales but like i did sales
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for a summer just see how it translates to game and there's like rookies that go up the door and
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the guy slams the door in their face and they're like yelling stuff at the guy whereas like a
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veteran is like okay that person's not interested and they don't take it personally yeah versus like
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trying to get even no in the uk guys take it personally they'll be like oh you're ugly anyway
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that's young guys really yeah that's young guys though i don't find it that common i just like here and
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there yeah yeah yeah i don't know it depends um so did you have a line or no i don't have a line but
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i'd say me personally i like it when a guy starts off with a compliment but not an obvious compliment
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not anything to do with my face whether it be something about my style or the way i carry
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myself oh so if a guy compliments your style yeah something like that yeah what good or bad
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that's good yeah that's cool okay uh what about you yeah usually like i start compliment the style
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or something that because like if i'm approach a person like uh for sure it's because there's something
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that i'm interested in that person oh no if they approach you oh yeah but i'm approaching approaching
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you what yeah so tell me why you approach me oh i think you're really cool yeah like you seem
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really cool what's your name oh can you talk oh let's change contacts oh that's a compliment still
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yeah what do you like that one yeah i mean as long as i got like the biggest problem i've seen is
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that like a lot of coaches say like come in and say oh you look like you like this or like you know just
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say really cheesy fancy gimmicky stuff where they're like using lines or like you know these
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these clever pickup lines or like different stuff like that and that just has like this air of like
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this is a a little tactic that i'm trying to win you over with like all the common theme between all
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the responses is they want the guy to be like genuine and actually like showing that he's interested
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without hiding it right like guys that come up and ask you for directions like it's obvious that they
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don't want directions yeah but like you like lose maybe a little respect because he's not
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having the balls to be straightforward and that's the irony if you think about it you only get good
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at that if you deal with rejection right because it's almost the emotional calibration you have to
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deal with the rejection to get that didn't work that didn't work or that didn't work with that type
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of woman so you have to do that in order to have the hey how's it going how you doing that's the beauty
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of rejection wait what's your line my line oh um yo what's happening
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i did i did yeah yeah i have to own that but also i want you approached him yeah okay how what line did you use
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it wasn't really a line it was an ultimatum a little bit if you don't want me there's lots of
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men doing she really played the kind of manipulation with it but we were good friends for a long time
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though to be honest i've seen him did you friends on him or did she friends on you no no one friends on
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each other when i first saw i was in a relationship so and then we just became friends we're doing a lot of
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the same coaching and self-development together and then when i got single she kind of did the
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ultimatum if you look you better take me down because if you don't someone else will want me
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do you know but for the minute i first saw it was just like love at first sight but i was in a
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relationship that's crazy as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized
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