JustPearlyThings - Dating Coach REVEALS How To Deal With Rejection

00:00:00.000 improve that's the future that we're going to see i wanted to comment on the the rejection thing

00:00:04.360 so like what i've found over over 10 years of coaching this stuff now is that most guys have

00:00:08.240 this unrealistic expectation that they want every girl to like them so i tell them like if you were

00:00:12.600 cold calling in sales or you were knocking doors it doesn't matter if you're the best salesman in 1.00

00:00:16.580 the world you're going to encounter people that just tell you to fuck off or they're going to 0.96

00:00:20.100 tell you i'm not interested and a lot of those things are outside of your control like there 0.99

00:00:23.500 exists girls that have boyfriends and husbands that don't want to cheat when you talk to them 1.00

00:00:26.540 in the club there's girls that are in a bad mood they don't like you for whatever reason instead 1.00

00:00:30.180 of taking that personally and thinking i suck think okay that one's just not interested this one

00:00:35.260 probably will but most men get deflated and then they bring that negative energy into the next

00:00:39.720 interaction and then that causes them to get rejected with a higher chance it's gonna be hard

00:00:43.840 not to i mean i worked in sales i sold the copiers and i'm telling you there's nothing worse than

00:00:48.260 selling you it's like to sell like a stand-up ten thousand dollar copy machine who wants that and i'm

00:00:53.780 like i i can't even imagine because when i did that job it was so soul-sucking yeah that i'm like

00:00:59.180 go getting rejected all the and that contributes to the problem right because the guys have to

00:01:03.120 develop almost like an emotional resilience yeah yeah you have to where you just have like this

00:01:07.380 thick skin and you just know that when you hit those girls that aren't interested there's going 1.00

00:01:11.600 to be other girls that are interested and but a lot of guys will take it personally i get clients

00:01:15.500 they'll go up get two or three rejections and they just give up and they stop approaching for the

00:01:19.200 night so what's what's your advice to men that want to overcome their fear of rejection

00:01:22.860 well i tell them to follow uh the old school three second rule right so you have less than

00:01:27.440 three seconds to go in once you see the attractive girl and then assume it's going to go well and if 0.99

00:01:32.000 it doesn't don't take it personally and i i give them strategies for how to open properly

00:01:36.640 or like with direct eye contact speaking loud enough smiling etc versus like coming in meek and

00:01:41.320 passive and this and that so i give them chances to give or give them strategies to give them the

00:01:45.480 best chances but then also be realistic about the fact that it's not going to work out with some

00:01:49.640 girls no matter how good you get no matter how high value you get or anything there's still 0.95

00:01:53.780 gonna be girls that don't like you and there's coaches that are like when you get good enough 0.72

00:01:56.620 there's no more rejections that's false or you're never gonna get flaked on a date it's like really

00:02:00.860 people don't have things come up in their schedule so these are just part of the game people have to

00:02:04.580 be able to just deal with those things and not take it super personally what about the ladies what's 0.96

00:02:09.540 your advice that to men that want to overcome their fear of rejection um i'm gonna i haven't heard too much

00:02:14.760 from you so i want to hear from these three first i feel like the more that you do something the more

00:02:21.360 confidence you'll have when you do it like rejection is not always rejection i like the phrase

00:02:26.400 rejection is redirection so it's like just do it there's a quote i don't know what it's like it's

00:02:31.600 like confidence is the amount of times you do something okay something like basically just do it

00:02:36.880 just try put yourself out there what's a good opening line and i want the guys to say if you think

00:02:41.920 these are good that a guy should use two girl i want the i want the dating coaches to rate it 0.99

00:02:47.620 oh shit i know i don't have words like that i like i'm joking um i like when a guy says um 0.92

00:02:59.900 um okay i like when a guy says hi excuse me you're looking really beautiful today 0.89

00:03:06.480 um or say hi um how are you did it like something like that i don't know i like i like to be

00:03:12.300 complimented like oh oh do you need help with i don't know if they see me doing something or

00:03:16.920 oh what are you doing here today i don't know like nice not like forward like i don't know so the good

00:03:24.080 opening line is hi you look very beautiful today how are you yeah yeah no no hi you look very beautiful

00:03:28.360 today like like what's your name like where are you from like do you mind if i could 0.99

00:03:32.680 okay good or bad uh it depends on like you know if he's like kissing your ass or like supplicating 0.99

00:03:38.520 and like that but if it's just like a nice compliment that's fine yeah confident now that you 0.99

00:03:42.220 asked me i think i'm part of the problem that we're talking about because if a guy was to move

00:03:46.040 to me on the street i wouldn't take him seriously for sure that's the thing it depends on how he does

00:03:50.080 yeah i think it depends i would just assume that he does that with everyone but he's single so

00:03:54.240 yeah he's very good he wouldn't say the hi you're beautiful yeah it's a bit cringe

00:04:02.340 how's that cringe that's okay okay so you think it's cringe you think it's okay it depends i mean

00:04:07.540 like those like london day game guys were like hello i thought you were hot and like that and they're

00:04:11.520 just doing that like in mass right yeah that's why he said it depends on how you say it that's nice my

00:04:16.240 opener for 10 years just been i wanted to meet you real quick it's like very direct i want to

00:04:20.060 to meet you and you say like when they're like how are you yeah yes that's that's the way but

00:04:24.680 the whole pedestal oh my god you're beautiful how many times did you know like that but like

00:04:28.840 you're putting her on a kind of level of oh my god you're so beautiful i'm not used to no just hey

00:04:32.520 how's it going what's your name how's it going depends on the frame of how it comes across like

00:04:36.660 you don't want a guy that comes up wow you're like the most amazing you don't want that just like

00:04:40.540 oh i just saw you like i thought you look really beautiful like you know what are you doing around

00:04:45.600 here like what you're doing today like that kind of thing what do you what's your advice

00:04:51.360 to guys and what's your opening line my love lang my love language is acts of service so if it's

00:04:56.280 something very simple as let me get that for you as he's opening the doors my knees start to go weak

00:05:01.560 or even yeah or even at the bar i was like let me get that for you i'm just like okay all right

00:05:06.100 it's like jay waller he says don't open doors for girls no

00:05:09.600 i still believe in that um but also with me i'm very i'm a person that's very aware and i also know

00:05:16.700 that rejection is very hard so if a guy does take does approach me i know it's taken him a lot to be

00:05:23.220 able to do that so i'm not going to reject him and be rude and say oh i'm not interested i'm going to go

00:05:27.260 with the flow of the conversation and i'll let him down gently but i think it also what you were saying

00:05:32.400 that you're the problem it it takes us to be as human beings to be empathetic as well to understand

00:05:37.580 that he's still a human he does still have feelings it has taken a lot for him to approach

00:05:42.180 you so just be nice yeah so what do you what do you think of her i like that see because that's 1.00

00:05:47.640 quite natural isn't let me get a door for you where you have to yeah how's it going yeah

00:05:51.780 i don't know i don't like anything that's like all like contrived and i mean that's not going

00:05:58.900 to even happen that often right like in terms of like situation dependent but but i mean i think

00:06:04.980 just starting the conversation being direct as long as there's not like fancy gamey gimmicky

00:06:08.660 stuff then that's thumbs up for me okay what about you what's your advice to men what's a pickup line

00:06:14.020 that you like i don't have like a specific pickup line but i'd say be confident not arrogant

00:06:18.360 and be just be straightforward what's the difference between confidence and arrogance well i feel like

00:06:23.980 in the context how good looking he is no i feel like with the context that we're talking about

00:06:29.600 you don't want to come off as i know i'm coming to get you and i'm getting you and i'm i've got you

00:06:34.480 do you get one do you know i'm trying to think no i think i think confidence is i don't mind getting

00:06:39.540 rejected but if you reject me i'll walk off like a man and i won't oh you're dead anyway or do you know 0.69

00:06:44.000 oh that's the worst if a guy is mad yeah that's a uk thing though yeah like for example no it's not

00:06:49.700 just a uk and that happens in sales too right i don't know if you saw that in sales but like i did sales

00:06:54.440 for a summer just see how it translates to game and there's like rookies that go up the door and

00:06:58.500 the guy slams the door in their face and they're like yelling stuff at the guy whereas like a

00:07:02.600 veteran is like okay that person's not interested and they don't take it personally yeah versus like

00:07:06.280 trying to get even no in the uk guys take it personally they'll be like oh you're ugly anyway

00:07:11.120 that's young guys really yeah that's young guys though i don't find it that common i just like here and

00:07:17.980 there yeah yeah yeah i don't know it depends um so did you have a line or no i don't have a line but

00:07:24.540 i'd say me personally i like it when a guy starts off with a compliment but not an obvious compliment

00:07:30.960 not anything to do with my face whether it be something about my style or the way i carry

00:07:34.020 myself oh so if a guy compliments your style yeah something like that yeah what good or bad

00:07:38.560 that's good yeah that's cool okay uh what about you yeah usually like i start compliment the style

00:07:46.120 or something that because like if i'm approach a person like uh for sure it's because there's something

00:07:52.400 that i'm interested in that person oh no if they approach you oh yeah but i'm approaching approaching

00:07:58.080 you what yeah so tell me why you approach me oh i think you're really cool yeah like you seem

00:08:04.480 really cool what's your name oh can you talk oh let's change contacts oh that's a compliment still

00:08:10.160 yeah what do you like that one yeah i mean as long as i got like the biggest problem i've seen is

00:08:14.800 that like a lot of coaches say like come in and say oh you look like you like this or like you know just

00:08:19.760 say really cheesy fancy gimmicky stuff where they're like using lines or like you know these

00:08:24.840 these clever pickup lines or like different stuff like that and that just has like this air of like

00:08:29.060 this is a a little tactic that i'm trying to win you over with like all the common theme between all

00:08:33.920 the responses is they want the guy to be like genuine and actually like showing that he's interested

00:08:38.600 without hiding it right like guys that come up and ask you for directions like it's obvious that they

00:08:43.040 don't want directions yeah but like you like lose maybe a little respect because he's not

00:08:47.260 having the balls to be straightforward and that's the irony if you think about it you only get good

00:08:51.960 at that if you deal with rejection right because it's almost the emotional calibration you have to 0.76

00:08:56.700 deal with the rejection to get that didn't work that didn't work or that didn't work with that type

00:08:59.900 of woman so you have to do that in order to have the hey how's it going how you doing that's the beauty 1.00

00:09:04.580 of rejection wait what's your line my line oh um yo what's happening

00:09:11.780 every london guy ever

00:09:15.540 is that what he said

00:09:17.380 i did i did yeah yeah i have to own that but also i want you approached him yeah okay how what line did you use

00:09:25.940 it wasn't really a line it was an ultimatum a little bit if you don't want me there's lots of

00:09:32.280 men doing she really played the kind of manipulation with it but we were good friends for a long time

00:09:38.040 though to be honest i've seen him did you friends on him or did she friends on you no no one friends on

00:09:43.300 each other when i first saw i was in a relationship so and then we just became friends we're doing a lot of

00:09:48.240 the same coaching and self-development together and then when i got single she kind of did the

00:09:53.180 ultimatum if you look you better take me down because if you don't someone else will want me

00:09:56.660 do you know but for the minute i first saw it was just like love at first sight but i was in a

00:10:01.660 relationship that's crazy as many of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized

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JustPearlyThings - April 15, 2023

Dating Coach REVEALS How To Deal With Rejection

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