JustPearlyThings - April 27, 2023


Dating in 2023 is all Transactional (Follow the Bag)

Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Kevin Samuels Proverbs Grandma
Pearl’s Heated Take On Obesity Pearl Gets Introduced to MGT0W Men Going Their Own Way PART 2

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

194.18

Word count

1,866

Sentence count

178

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Toxicity

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

7

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the differences between dating in the old days and the new day and age, and how dating has changed since the early days of the internet, social media, dating apps, and more.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.080 Okay, so tell me about, so wait, wait, how long were you married?
00:00:05.040 Almost 11 years.
00:00:06.140 11 years. So tell me about dating before you were married and dating after.
00:00:11.240 Oh, good God.
00:00:11.700 Because I always wonder, okay, because from my point of view, I hear two narratives, right?
00:00:17.120 I hear two narratives about dating in the old days, right?
00:00:20.500 Which, you know, to me, that's the old days, right?
00:00:23.360 Oh, the old days. Look at her.
00:00:25.640 Grandma, auntie, the auntie days.
00:00:27.600 But because on one hand, I hear that, like, the girls now are worse than ever, right?
00:00:32.300 Probably true.
00:00:33.420 However, then there's another camp that's like, oh, no, the other girls were doing the same stuff.
00:00:37.380 You just didn't see it because there was no social media.
00:00:39.320 That's a lie. That's a lie.
00:00:40.980 It's completely different.
00:00:42.720 I think people want to say that just to feel better about things, but that's cap, 100%.
00:00:48.420 And the reason why it's different is the influx of social media, dating apps.
00:00:53.260 We didn't have that.
00:00:54.240 Like, before I got married, there was Match.com.
00:01:01.700 I think, like, Plenty of Fish.
00:01:03.700 Like, they had just, like, started.
00:01:06.120 Like, these weren't, like, big things.
00:01:08.380 Black Planet was a thing back in the day, too.
00:01:11.160 Shout out to Black Planet. 1.00
00:01:12.380 I don't know if that's still around.
00:01:13.260 But the way you met people, like, you had to be out and about, and you didn't have the world as your oyster of all these different options.
00:01:21.200 So you were choosing earlier.
00:01:22.720 I mean, people were still being hoes and doing certain things, but it wasn't like it is today. 1.00
00:01:29.040 There was much more shame about, you know, like, people weren't, there was nothing to celebrate about being a hoe and being outside in hot girl summers. 0.98
00:01:38.240 If someone did something, there was, you didn't take it so far because there was shame about it.
00:01:44.680 But now it's completely different.
00:01:46.780 Yeah, and I'm thinking it couldn't have been as frequent either because the guys that girls would want to do that stuff with, like, it would be harder to access them because there's no Instagram.
00:01:55.100 There's no.
00:01:55.680 Exactly.
00:01:56.080 You would have to go to, like, the club or to, you would have to go to events and, like, actually talk to people face-to-face, get to know them.
00:02:06.080 And now it's just transactional, like, just swipe or you start a conversation and just end it, like, and people are much more picky now.
00:02:14.340 So you meet a guy in person, you can get his swag, you can get his conversation style, his intelligence right away.
00:02:20.600 You know, you could pick up on, like, his social cues if it was attractive.
00:02:24.680 Now it's just purely about his looks, his money, his height.
00:02:30.120 And that just, not seeing girls weren't attracted to that, but meeting someone in person, it was just a different thing.
00:02:35.680 Like, we just, there's guys, like, that today I look at and I would, back in the day, we thought they were super hot, super, like, girls had a big crush on them.
00:02:45.900 Nowadays, they probably wouldn't even get a look just because they don't look a certain, they're not social camera, camera ready, I would say.
00:02:52.920 So, it's different.
00:02:55.020 People are way more shallow.
00:02:56.760 How did you, like, when did you first notice that it was different?
00:03:01.040 Well, when I, I'll tell you, when the first thing I came up.
00:03:06.160 Did you download, did you download a dating app?
00:03:08.140 I downloaded a dating app and I didn't, it was just, it was nothing bad on the dating app.
00:03:16.320 So, I didn't really, it was just like, I just wasn't sure how to interact with it.
00:03:20.760 But what really told the truth was seeing Kevin Samuel's show for the first time.
00:03:25.360 And I was just like, what are these women talking about? 1.00
00:03:28.560 I was like, women have to be told this? 0.99
00:03:30.020 It's like, what are they, like, I was like, she is average.
00:03:32.520 Why is she upset about this?
00:03:34.660 And so, that's what kind of, like, started me down a rabbit hole of like, wait, people do what?
00:03:39.880 What?
00:03:40.300 It hasn't been my personal experience.
00:03:42.600 Nothing that's out here today has been my personal experience.
00:03:45.640 But just seeing it, it just shocked me.
00:03:49.060 So.
00:03:49.880 Yeah, that average at best, that broke the internet.
00:03:53.080 But this is the thing.
00:03:54.100 She called her, first of all, she called into his show.
00:03:56.760 I know.
00:03:57.080 On a day she shouldn't have.
00:03:58.300 I know.
00:03:58.720 And then he asked her to raise her soul.
00:04:00.000 She said, I'm average.
00:04:01.260 He agreed with her.
00:04:02.460 And she was average.
00:04:03.760 And she's still average.
00:04:04.920 And I'll tell her to her face.
00:04:06.520 Like, ma'am, there's nothing wrong with being average.
00:04:08.600 Why do you think you're above average women? 1.00
00:04:10.700 Like, that shows your pride and ego.
00:04:12.600 That shows her how shallow she is.
00:04:16.020 Like, there's nothing wrong with being average.
00:04:18.540 I'm average.
00:04:19.080 We're average.
00:04:19.840 Like, let's be average together.
00:04:21.360 Like, okay.
00:04:22.580 You can still win.
00:04:23.900 But that's why I say it's this delusional ego that's out there.
00:04:28.100 It's false bravado.
00:04:29.900 And it's just not set in reality.
00:04:31.740 First of all, if you are above average, you wouldn't need to call into Kevin Samu's show.
00:04:36.080 And that's what I realize.
00:04:37.460 If you watch enough of his content, you start to realize, like, how he asks the questions.
00:04:42.720 And he would always say, well, if that's true, if you really were, you'd have no problem.
00:04:46.480 You wouldn't even need to call into his show or anything like that.
00:04:49.380 Like, if you're that bad bee that you claim to be, are you, you know, like, they know it's capped.
00:04:54.680 These women know. 1.00
00:04:55.540 It's just, they just, they just have to, I don't know.
00:04:59.940 Again, it's delusion.
00:05:01.180 During this show, it's changed me.
00:05:03.440 At first, I used to think, where do you guys find these women? 0.93
00:05:07.480 But it's like normal women walking down the street. 1.00
00:05:09.600 They don't realize, like, 70, 80,000 pounds is a lot.
00:05:12.460 But they don't realize that's, like, top 20% of men.
00:05:16.920 Because they won a lottery ticket, you know.
00:05:19.620 And they think because a man of that caliber, a lot of men that make a certain amount may have slept with them.
00:05:29.980 But he's not going to wife you, okay.
00:05:32.320 Like, and they think because they can deal with a guy or a guy sleeps with them on that level,
00:05:37.880 that that's now their new set point.
00:05:39.960 Now they're up here.
00:05:41.020 And, like, man, let's be, be effing for real.
00:05:45.280 Like, let's really, I mean, stop.
00:05:47.780 I mean, they know the truth.
00:05:49.600 But it's just, we're living in a time where flexing, being, you know, false bravado, delusion, pride, ego.
00:05:58.780 There's no humility.
00:06:00.500 There's no, you know, there's, that's just the name of the game now.
00:06:06.500 And it's pretty, it's just sad.
00:06:07.840 I don't know.
00:06:08.380 It's sad.
00:06:08.800 And they go after the wrong types of rich men, too.
00:06:12.620 It's like, y'all, y'all will go after the guys that are going to be broke in five years.
00:06:17.960 And it's like, I grew up around, like, you know, my dad was like a 1% earner.
00:06:22.400 So I grew up around really successful guys.
00:06:24.320 And I'm like, these women wouldn't even be able to pick them out. 1.00
00:06:27.360 They don't even know that engineers are good.
00:06:29.020 First of all, they don't even have access to these men.
00:06:31.440 So let's be honest.
00:06:32.480 They are attracted to guys who flex, who are ballers or look like ballers.
00:06:37.380 But even the, but those guys, even I, because a lot of the guys I deal with, my clients and people I know, I always tell women, the men you want, I know.
00:06:46.320 Like, like top, top guys that you can think of, I know.
00:06:51.160 And they'll even get with Instagram models and all these other things.
00:06:54.360 Like, why don't you wife her or things? 1.00
00:06:56.120 They're just like, first of all, it's too many filters.
00:06:58.800 Like, when you see them in person, they never look that good.
00:07:01.540 Two, they're bird brains.
00:07:03.480 Three, they offer no value.
00:07:05.020 They just want to be in my house, be in my presence, go out on dates.
00:07:09.080 They're not doing anything for me.
00:07:12.240 They, I can't have intellectual conversations with them.
00:07:15.340 They're not who I want, would want raising my children.
00:07:17.520 And so, a lot of women think, because I look good on Instagram, get a lot of attention, that that means that all these men want to wife me. 0.71
00:07:26.260 No, they want to bust you down.
00:07:28.740 Skeet, and, well, we call it skeet and retreat.
00:07:30.960 Yeah.
00:07:31.640 Skeet and retreat. 0.92
00:07:33.740 Well, and a lot of the girls. 0.71
00:07:35.920 But I say, I don't mean to be mean, but women have to hear it this way so they can learn to start having intrinsic value outside of what they can do in the bedroom and what they look like. 0.98
00:07:45.060 And there's too much focus on the exterior these days.
00:07:48.340 Yeah, and that's the, there's just a lot of stuff that I thought was really basic growing up.
00:07:53.800 Like, my mom would always say, don't get, don't get fat, you know?
00:07:57.520 Mm-hmm.
00:07:58.220 Don't get tattoos.
00:07:59.980 Don't get, like, super heavy makeup.
00:08:01.960 Like, guys do not like that.
00:08:03.960 And to me, it's just, like, basic, you know, but then Kevin Samuels was talking about it.
00:08:09.100 And these girls are, they're like, what? 1.00
00:08:11.080 It's like, it's like basic things.
00:08:15.220 Like, like, I was, like, I was not allowed to have tattoos.
00:08:17.660 I was not allowed to, I barely wear, barely had to, was allowed to wear makeup.
00:08:22.520 Like, I think when I was 16, I was allowed to get my hair colored a little bit for, like, it highlights when I was 16.
00:08:27.640 Oh, my mom let me do highlights.
00:08:28.800 Like, right.
00:08:29.280 I was, like, I'm getting highlights.
00:08:30.860 I'm grown.
00:08:31.480 And, like, like, just these, the way things are now.
00:08:36.540 Like, I was taught early that, you know, part of, like, I'm not religious anymore.
00:08:41.460 I consider myself a spiritual.
00:08:43.040 But sometimes I'll throw these things in just so people understand.
00:08:46.500 And it's just, like, beauty is fleeting.
00:08:48.360 There's a verse in the Bible that talks about beauty is fleeting.
00:08:50.320 But a woman who loves the Lord, it talks about, like, her intrinsic value or a Proverbs 31 woman is who I had to grow up to think about being.
00:08:59.620 And that it focusing on your exterior was vanity.
00:09:02.780 It was, it was of the devil.
00:09:04.500 It was like a work of Satan to do that.
00:09:06.740 And so you learn to just, like, push those things away and develop your mind. 0.79
00:09:10.960 And that's why, to this day, flattery, even from some, what would get a lot of women excited and, like, oh, you're so fine and all of that, I throw them in the trash.
00:09:21.040 I don't care who it is because you need to come with me because I present my mind publicly in social media.
00:09:26.240 So I need to hear that you see that value in me, not just the exterior.
00:09:30.620 But a lot of girls, they weren't taught. 1.00
00:09:33.620 They weren't raised in that way.
00:09:34.860 So it's sad, but, you know.