In this episode, I sit down with my good friend, Penelope, to talk about cheating in a marriage and how she copes with being a single mom. We talk about how she dealt with cheating in her marriage, how she handled it, and why she decided to leave her husband.
00:00:00.000I do think I do think people should try to work out cheating though like I like I think like it's about the kids
00:00:05.640It's not about you. You should try to work it out
00:00:09.640No offense people watching this but like
00:00:11.640My mom and dad got divorced I when I was four and it was because my dad cheated on her and I don't think anyone should
00:00:17.680You know, I think cheating. I don't inherently think cheating is a good thing
00:00:20.780But I think I sometimes wonder what would my life have looked like had they been together
00:00:25.620I wonder that every day. How would I have been? You know, I'm I'm I'm grateful I know I am the way I am now
00:00:30.180but I'm just saying like I know there's a lot of girls out there who have
00:00:34.180Dysfunctional families and don't have a father mother that are together and I've seen people with who have their mother and father together
00:00:39.220And they're very different people the way they approach themselves the way they talk to people the way they react to situations
00:00:45.220They're just different people and I think that's beautiful
00:00:47.220And so like that's even like a reason like I want I wish more people more women and men would see oh, I want to have a healthy family
00:00:53.180I want to break the generational trauma the generational disrupt, you know, the generational problems
00:01:42.080It started off that way because there's just so much lies and deceit and can I trust this person and then but I really really wanted to
00:01:49.080To make it work. I was like, why don't we we'll just have an open marriage
00:01:51.840Which I knew would probably kill me inside, but I was like, yeah, I even offered it, you know, I was like
00:01:55.500That's really really really wanted it. I even gave him a contract for a second child
00:01:59.320I said, you know, you don't have to pay for the child
00:02:01.360Like I just I really wanted the marriage stay together, but I just got scared
00:02:05.660So if it was just strictly cheating you think it would have worked out and it would have been all right now
00:02:11.460Well, I needed certain things to change I needed some securities that weren't that weren't that weren't there
00:02:17.320because I think what do you mean securities do you mind saying or no well when I
00:02:21.380Found out that he was cheating. I also looked into like our life a little bit more deeply and I realized that absolutely nothing was in my name
00:02:28.140I had nothing mm-hmm and I was like, oh my gosh
00:02:31.500I'm in a really vulnerable position here because I never even thought about it
00:02:35.220And so then I was like, listen, I need to have some stake in our lives
00:02:40.340Yeah, and it was a protection protective mechanism clearly and he was like, no
00:05:17.600And if every woman leaves a man for cheating1.00
00:05:19.600Then you have all these you know motherless and fatherless families
00:05:23.600But I think that's the thing we're never like we're never as women were never told like how men are naturally
00:05:29.600And like men just want to screw everything0.99
00:05:31.600So it's like we've kind of been told that if we get cheated on it's the worst thing ever and it can't be worked through
00:05:36.600Is that because the man isn't in the house? There's a lot of fatherless women1.00
00:05:40.600Yeah, I think that most of society's problem really like come back to single mother homes to be honest1.00
00:05:47.600Like if you look at the prison population, it's like 80% single mother homes
00:05:50.600If you look at youth suicides, you're way more likely to be abused as a child
00:05:55.600You're way more like every big I spoke to a homeless shelter director down the street
00:06:01.600And I said why why like are these people homeless like because he has like the worst type of homeless
00:06:06.600Which is like the street sleepers because there's different like levels of people living in cars. There's whatever
00:06:10.600And he told me that he that most of these people
00:06:17.600Came from single mother homes, especially with like multiple baby daddies or like whatever1.00
00:06:22.600And they the kids I got ended up getting taken and like put in the system and they've never they don't know any sense of stability or function
00:06:29.600And so if you look at all the like major issues in society a lot are linked to single mother homes and single father homes don't have the same outcomes0.89
00:09:00.600That's so funny. I used to get mad at my mom
00:09:02.600I wasn't I wasn't that big but I was like a pretty pretty chunky and my mom would always be like on me because I was just this die-hard like tomboy
00:09:09.600And I just didn't want to like look that and I still struggle with it to this day, but I'm like
00:09:14.600Oh my god, I would be so much worse if my mom wasn't like on me all the time because when you're a kid1.00
00:09:19.600You're just like mom like I don't wanna
00:09:21.600I know I just listen to her and she's like this she has her master's in nutrition
00:09:24.600She's trained thousands of people and I'm like I don't want you to tell me what to eat
00:09:27.600Like I don't want you to tell me how to live how to work out
00:09:29.600But I would sit in my room like obese fat, you know crying
00:09:32.600I was depressed in my dark room all day and she'd be like open the curtains rip the curtains open0.98
00:09:37.600I'm gonna take your phone away and I was like it was like really intense
00:09:43.600But those are the kind of parents that you need
00:09:45.600But I needed that because this world is cruel
00:09:48.600And I've been through some bad things and and having that her mentality that she raised me with being honest and saying Penelope you need to get up0.92
00:09:55.600No Penelope this is not true, you know men there are men and women like these are important things she taught me
00:09:59.600It's kind of funny like the day you realize your parents were right about everything
00:10:02.600Like it's like it's like you just wake up one day and you're like
00:10:05.600I was like around 21 or 22 for me I was like oh my gosh my mom and dad
00:10:12.600Raised me so well and they were right about everything they told me
00:10:16.600We never we never listen through our teenager years except for relationships
00:10:21.600Oh, yeah, I'm not listening to them for relationship