JustPearlyThings - July 13, 2023


Debate on FEMINISM and Women HIGH STANDARD


Episode Stats


Length

50 minutes

Words per minute

197.62668

Word count

10,059

Sentence count

993

Harmful content

Misogyny

105

sentences flagged

Hate speech

64

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about beauty standards and why modern women don't care as much about them as they do about our money. We also talk about the differences between beauty standards in Italy and the US, and why they are more competitive than they are in America.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Coming up next.
00:00:00.940 With feminism, women are like, oh, I can do whatever I want, when I want, how I want. 1.00
00:00:05.680 So, like, you know, I can underdress myself.
00:00:08.300 No one should judge me for that.
00:00:09.800 And I think that it's a little bit too much.
00:00:11.640 But it's interesting because feminists complain the most about beauty standards. 1.00
00:00:15.360 But it just seems like they care the least about them.
00:00:17.660 Women have such high beauty standards. 1.00
00:00:19.480 It's so hard for women because of the beauty standards Instagram. 1.00
00:00:23.000 And, you know, well, I can sympathize.
00:00:24.320 It's like if we really cared, wouldn't we be more put together and way less?
00:00:29.040 Yeah.
00:00:29.820 One out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.
00:00:34.220 Oh, wow.
00:00:35.480 So in here.
00:00:40.220 So you don't think men like women that are boss babes? 1.00
00:00:42.740 Men don't give a shit about our money. 1.00
00:00:44.640 They literally don't care.
00:00:46.000 It's like, okay, if this guy ever told you about a shoe collection and you're like, oh, that's cool, but you don't really care.
00:00:50.740 That's how men view our money. 1.00
00:00:52.140 Today's topic is that modern women don't care about beauty standards. 1.00
00:00:57.380 That's my premise today.
00:00:58.840 So I, my first question is what are beauty standards?
00:01:04.200 And then start here.
00:01:05.260 Go around then second row.
00:01:06.300 Go ahead.
00:01:06.520 For me, I think, you know, due to the nature of my job, I do singing, you know, I perform a lot, you know, in the public eyes.
00:01:14.780 So I think beauty is important in a way that you need to be confident enough for people to, you know, to see your talent eventually.
00:01:24.560 I mean, there are different beauty standards.
00:01:26.740 I'm from Italy.
00:01:27.280 So as you probably can imagine, maybe the beauty standards over there are just a little bit different.
00:01:34.240 Who is someone that is the Italian beauty standard?
00:01:36.680 Is there like a celebrity?
00:01:38.200 Yeah, celebrities or, you know, people on TV.
00:01:40.320 No, I would just say like someone you could think of.
00:01:43.580 Monica Bellucci.
00:01:44.880 Monica.
00:01:45.320 Could we put her on the screen?
00:01:46.880 I just want to see what she looks like. 0.68
00:01:48.200 Yeah, it's pretty Mediterranean vibe.
00:01:50.260 Monica Bellucci.
00:01:51.160 Yeah, it's an actress.
00:01:52.620 I'm going to look it up here just while he's doing it so I can see.
00:01:55.580 Is she tall, short? 0.99
00:01:57.080 She's tall, brown hair, you know, the typical Mediterranean type of vibe. 0.99
00:02:04.920 Yeah, she's beautiful. 0.87
00:02:05.700 I don't know if you consider that as a beautiful, I think she's beautiful.
00:02:09.540 But I think for, I would lie if I would say like, no, beauty doesn't matter at all.
00:02:16.220 I mean, it's, that's, I think it's a lie to me personally speaking.
00:02:21.120 But at the same time, I wouldn't generalize, you know, for different people, beauty can
00:02:25.140 be different.
00:02:25.940 I, for me, for example, I try and like to look nice without always being so up there,
00:02:31.660 like showing up like your body all the time.
00:02:34.600 So that can be beautiful because you can, you know, let men guess what's behind.
00:02:40.360 Yeah, you're very, I like your outfit a lot.
00:02:42.120 It's very cute.
00:02:42.660 Thank you.
00:02:43.220 I try, you know, I knew that I was coming here.
00:02:45.960 So I was like, I need to be in a decent standout.
00:02:49.000 Do you think that British women, have you been to America too? 1.00
00:02:53.000 I'm just curious.
00:02:53.620 Yes.
00:02:53.940 Yes.
00:02:54.200 What would you say, who is more put together usually when they go out?
00:02:58.280 American women, British women or Italian women? 0.59
00:03:01.780 Italian women. 0.92
00:03:02.380 Yes, because, you know, we are, this is why, you know, I say from the beginning, I come
00:03:08.620 from a country where like, you know, being nice and looking nice is quite important.
00:03:13.960 But at the same time, I feel like my beauty standards are not necessarily what the modern
00:03:19.940 women, they want to, you know, say like, oh yes, let's put, you know, boobs out, everything 1.00
00:03:23.980 out.
00:03:24.260 And that's beautiful, sexy and provocative.
00:03:26.400 I kind of like, like to people guess more what's behind, you know, the surface.
00:03:32.500 Would you say in Italy that, that like beauty standards are higher there or lower?
00:03:40.300 I think that are higher in a way.
00:03:42.740 It's more competitive, you'd say?
00:03:43.980 Yes.
00:03:44.280 Yes, definitely.
00:03:45.100 Like from TV, you know, anything, you know, you can see if you're not in a certain type of
00:03:50.700 body shape sometimes can be, I mean, it's changing, it's changing, but I feel like that
00:03:55.420 is still quite predominant that like.
00:03:58.240 And what would you say about like promiscuous clothes?
00:04:02.540 Is that more, I'm just curious because we don't always get people from Italy on the show.
00:04:07.780 So would you say that that's more frowned upon in Italy or is it more open there?
00:04:14.300 It's a warmer.
00:04:15.200 The thing is, you know, with the younger generations is really changing because they're quite more
00:04:20.220 into this Western world, you know, they're bombarded with social media and images and
00:04:23.960 everyone is trying to impress everyone.
00:04:25.840 So it's changing a little bit, but I would say, and you know, people like myself or, you
00:04:30.540 know, other friends or acquaintances, you know, we like to think that that are also part of
00:04:36.320 women that still like to not impress just, you know, by I'm going to be naked tonight and 1.00
00:04:42.400 I'm going to show, you know, how sexy I am.
00:04:44.240 There is sexiness isn't being absolutely fully covered, I believe.
00:04:47.520 So, okay.
00:04:49.200 Um, so what do you think?
00:04:51.380 Um, beauty to me, it's, I feel like it's within, to be honest with you, but I'm also half
00:04:57.280 Asian, so in the Asian community, beauty is being revealing and like, and the, you're
00:05:05.780 sorry, say that again.
00:05:06.640 Half Asian, say Barbados.
00:05:08.200 Oh, okay.
00:05:08.580 I'll be honest from.
00:05:09.180 Um, so we usually are quite, you know, revealing and nails done, hair, makeup, sort of thing.
00:05:18.120 Um, but yeah, as I said, beauty to me is, is within.
00:05:22.260 Okay.
00:05:22.900 Yeah.
00:05:23.060 And you can't tell if one girl is more attractive than the other. 0.99
00:05:26.000 It all looks the same.
00:05:27.960 Um, but then that goes by preference.
00:05:31.960 Like I might think this person doesn't look so good, um, where to others, someone else,
00:05:45.220 they might look really good.
00:05:47.320 You don't think there's general beauty at all?
00:05:49.840 Like you think it's different for every person?
00:05:51.520 Or do you think that in general, we can kind of tell who's the most attractive and who's
00:05:55.580 the least attractive to society?
00:05:58.360 Yeah.
00:05:59.000 But who's society to our society.
00:06:03.380 Yeah.
00:06:03.580 But when you say society, like who would you, who is society?
00:06:06.820 Um, well, people in the UK.
00:06:08.960 Okay.
00:06:09.260 So you would say that people can tell who's more attractive and less attractive.
00:06:13.740 Um, cause you like, that's when you say society, it's people, right?
00:06:17.600 Yeah.
00:06:18.020 It's people, it's people in the UK, but I think it's different all over.
00:06:20.980 As I said, like in Barbados, they would say Rihanna is what you call.
00:06:25.580 Um, you know, beauty, um, attraction.
00:06:28.460 She's, you know, she's, she's very pretty. 0.94
00:06:30.800 I mean, I think they'd say that in America too.
00:06:32.600 They love, we love Rihanna.
00:06:33.980 Yeah.
00:06:34.280 We love, I mean, she's beautiful everywhere.
00:06:37.160 Come on.
00:06:39.080 Yeah.
00:06:39.500 But, you know, like over here, I do think.
00:06:41.540 Is she not beautiful somewhere?
00:06:42.980 It's like, where's Rihanna not hot?
00:06:45.980 That's true.
00:06:48.920 You know, like, I feel like there's like preferences, like some people like might think one celebrity
00:06:54.080 is hotter than the other, but they're all hot.
00:06:55.800 Yeah.
00:06:56.300 You know, unless you're blind, you can tell.
00:06:58.480 So that's why I just never understand what people say.
00:07:00.300 I don't think they're all hot.
00:07:01.000 I, like, if I look, I, if I look at Beyonce, I don't think she's in comparison to, um, you
00:07:06.520 know, to Rihanna.
00:07:07.180 I think Rihanna is more beautiful to me than Beyonce.
00:07:10.820 I mean, just being honest, my opinion depends when I don't know, because Beyonce is a bit
00:07:21.060 older.
00:07:22.060 Isn't she?
00:07:23.060 Yeah.
00:07:24.060 But it doesn't matter about that.
00:07:25.060 I think my preference is Rihanna over Beyonce.
00:07:29.060 Okay.
00:07:30.060 What do you think?
00:07:31.060 What are beauty standards?
00:07:32.060 Like she said, it's within you.
00:07:33.940 I'm very big on that.
00:07:34.940 I do not get that with it, like we're not blind, we're not blind.
00:07:41.940 No, come on. 0.85
00:07:42.940 You could find someone so attractive, but they have the most shittiest personality.
00:07:45.940 Yeah.
00:07:46.940 But we're, I'm just talking, I'm just talking, I'm just talking physical.
00:07:49.940 Like, okay.
00:07:50.940 Even if Beyonce came in, you might say Rihanna's hotter, but Beyonce's still hot. 0.96
00:07:56.440 Nobody can deny that Beyonce's hot.
00:07:57.940 Yeah.
00:07:58.940 Yeah.
00:07:59.940 She's pretty, but like everyone has their own preferences.
00:08:00.940 So who you might think is good looking.
00:08:02.940 I might think he's definitely not.
00:08:05.940 What about men?
00:08:06.940 Do you think men look at women and say the same thing that beauty comes from within?
00:08:11.940 I would like to say so.
00:08:15.940 But I feel like the ones that have been hurt, maybe they start looking at beauty within,
00:08:20.940 maybe.
00:08:21.940 The ones that have been hurt.
00:08:22.940 You know.
00:08:23.940 That's when you start hearing, what is it?
00:08:26.940 What's the saying they say?
00:08:27.940 Beauty beyond the eyes or something like that.
00:08:29.940 They say, right?
00:08:30.940 Yeah.
00:08:31.940 And that.
00:08:32.940 But you would say in general, men do look at beauty.
00:08:35.940 To an extent.
00:08:36.940 I definitely, sometimes don't think men look at anything, but.
00:08:40.940 Oh.
00:08:41.940 You know, just what they can have.
00:08:44.940 Okay.
00:08:45.940 So when we talk about beauty standards, it's all about, to you, it's all about what comes
00:08:49.940 from within.
00:08:50.940 Yeah.
00:08:51.940 Nothing physical.
00:08:52.940 It sounds Indian.
00:08:53.940 So like she picked up her.
00:08:54.940 She's Bayesian.
00:08:55.940 I'm Indian.
00:08:56.940 And we pretty much cover ourselves back home.
00:09:01.940 What does that have to do with the beauty standards? 0.81
00:09:03.940 So that's comes within.
00:09:04.940 Cause we're not here.
00:09:05.940 We're quite covered up to be fair.
00:09:07.940 So we look at beauty.
00:09:08.940 Like they very well, I'm from a village.
00:09:10.940 So.
00:09:11.940 Oh, in India. 0.98
00:09:12.940 Yeah.
00:09:13.940 So they don't wear makeup.
00:09:14.940 They, they just literally did.
00:09:15.940 My mom's always said this to me.
00:09:16.940 What part of India are you from?
00:09:17.940 Punjab.
00:09:18.940 Where is that?
00:09:19.940 That's like in a border right next to Pakistan.
00:09:22.940 So it's closer to Pakistan side.
00:09:24.940 So I'm just, I would say South India.
00:09:26.940 Okay.
00:09:27.940 Cause I went to Abu Dhabi or not, not, not sorry.
00:09:29.940 Not Abu Dhabi.
00:09:30.940 That's right.
00:09:31.940 Sorry.
00:09:32.940 Sorry.
00:09:33.940 Hyderabad.
00:09:34.940 Hyderabad.
00:09:35.940 Where's that?
00:09:36.940 It's in India.
00:09:37.940 Yeah.
00:09:38.940 India is really big.
00:09:39.940 I think it's South.
00:09:40.940 I think, I don't know.
00:09:41.940 It was a long time ago.
00:09:42.940 I was, I barely can remember the name, obviously.
00:09:44.940 It's a bit different.
00:09:45.940 Cause we're from a village and we just like, we, women always do their hair, but they're 1.00
00:09:48.940 very rarely wear makeup.
00:09:49.940 They're very rarely wear.
00:09:50.940 Yeah.
00:09:51.940 Anything really.
00:09:52.940 They just put their clothes on to have their hair done.
00:09:55.940 So that's where my grandparents are from.
00:09:58.940 So when I look at that and I'm like, beauty is from within.
00:10:01.940 So that's what I mean when I say that.
00:10:04.940 What do you think beauty standards? 0.98
00:10:07.940 I mean, I kind of have to disagree with the ladies to my left because I feel like it's 1.00
00:10:12.940 evident.
00:10:13.940 I feel like everybody knows who like a beautiful person is.
00:10:17.940 I feel like if a woman walks in the room, you'll know that a woman will be classified 1.00
00:10:21.940 as beautiful.
00:10:22.940 If she has her nails done, her hair's done, her eyelashes, her eyebrows, everything is
00:10:26.940 straight.
00:10:27.940 Everything is put together.
00:10:28.940 I feel like if another woman was to walk in and she doesn't have that, I don't feel
00:10:31.940 like people won't say she's beautiful.
00:10:32.940 I just feel like people will be more attracted and will look to the woman who has everything
00:10:38.940 done first initially.
00:10:39.940 Do you get what I mean?
00:10:40.940 So I feel like, and to ask your question about men, I feel like men, that's the first thing
00:10:44.940 they look at beauty before they look at anything else.
00:10:47.940 And yeah, I definitely feel like there is a high beauty standard in the UK.
00:10:52.940 Yeah, that's my opinion.
00:10:54.940 Okay.
00:10:55.940 What do you think?
00:10:56.940 What are beauty standards?
00:10:57.940 For me, I am going to say that it does come from within.
00:11:02.940 However, I'd be lying if I would say that you don't look at beauty.
00:11:06.940 Like you can tell in the UK who is attractive and who isn't.
00:11:11.940 You just know that.
00:11:12.940 So to say that it comes from within, I think, yes, that's the general statement for anyone
00:11:17.940 to make because nobody wants to sound like, oh, they're being shallow.
00:11:20.940 But realistically speaking, the majority of society are shallow.
00:11:25.940 You do look at people and what they look like.
00:11:27.940 Yeah.
00:11:28.940 Okay.
00:11:29.940 So you would say it's based on looks?
00:11:30.940 Yeah, it is.
00:11:31.940 What metrics would you use to measure someone's beauty?
00:11:34.940 For me personally, is it men or women?
00:11:41.940 Women. 0.81
00:11:42.940 Women. 0.81
00:11:43.940 It would, for me, I look at a woman's, if I can strip back everything in terms of like 1.00
00:11:47.940 the makeup, the hair, the nails, and to me, I can see her as beautiful, then she's beautiful.
00:11:54.940 But that's just me again, my preference.
00:11:56.940 Okay.
00:11:57.940 What do you think, Troy?
00:11:58.940 What are beauty standards?
00:11:59.940 I mean, look, I think it's entirely physical, to be honest.
00:12:03.940 I don't want to sound cynical here, but I think that's what people look at.
00:12:07.940 I think it's nice to say it's from within.
00:12:09.940 And there's, yeah, sure.
00:12:10.940 I mean, there's some truth in that.
00:12:11.940 But I think, let's be real.
00:12:13.940 The dating marketplace, it's kind of a jungle out there, right?
00:12:16.940 What are people looking at?
00:12:17.940 They're looking at the aesthetics, right?
00:12:19.940 They're looking at the surface.
00:12:20.940 Now, that's not to say that you meet somebody and maybe they have a really obnoxious personality
00:12:26.940 and you think, actually, I'm put off from that.
00:12:28.940 Or they've got something about them that's really great and you guys click.
00:12:31.940 And that adds something to it.
00:12:32.940 100%.
00:12:33.940 That's definitely true.
00:12:34.940 But let's be honest, right?
00:12:35.940 It's a surface level thing.
00:12:36.940 There are aesthetic standards and that's what people mean when they're talking about beauty.
00:12:42.940 I don't think the standards are particularly high in the UK, but that's just me though, guys.
00:12:48.940 Sorry.
00:12:49.940 For men as well.
00:12:54.940 For men as well.
00:12:55.940 For men as well.
00:12:56.940 For men as well.
00:12:57.940 Yeah, if you go to Miami, you get humbled real quick.
00:13:00.940 Well, Miami, but also like Latin America, I mean, Eastern Europe, all those places.
00:13:05.940 Oh, yeah.
00:13:06.940 Yeah.
00:13:07.940 I went to a wedding in Germany.
00:13:08.940 It was like, all the girls were like literally stunning.
00:13:11.940 Yeah.
00:13:12.940 Okay.
00:13:13.940 What do you think?
00:13:14.940 Yeah, I do agree.
00:13:15.940 I feel like it is based on how a woman looks. 1.00
00:13:18.940 I feel like, as she mentioned, if a woman's got her nails done, hair done, you've got yourself
00:13:23.940 together.
00:13:24.940 Men do like that. 0.98
00:13:25.940 It is, you know, quite obvious as well.
00:13:27.940 A man, especially a regular man in the UK, I don't feel like they would go for just a
00:13:31.940 basic looking woman. 0.58
00:13:33.940 Yeah.
00:13:34.940 They would go for a woman who's, you know, got themselves put together, got their nails 1.00
00:13:38.940 done.
00:13:39.940 They look good.
00:13:40.940 And yeah, I don't really agree when they said that.
00:13:43.940 It's within.
00:13:44.940 It's just my opinion anyways.
00:13:45.940 I feel like if someone looks good, then that's what attracts, attracts men as well.
00:13:50.940 Yeah.
00:13:51.940 What do you think?
00:13:52.940 Um, I agree to an extent.
00:13:54.940 With who?
00:13:55.940 With these.
00:13:56.940 I definitely feel as though beauty is an attraction.
00:14:02.940 I feel like if someone's attracted to you, they're going to think you're beautiful regardless.
00:14:07.940 However, I do not agree that just because you're well done up, that then implicates that
00:14:14.940 you're beautiful.
00:14:15.940 You know, I don't have no makeup on now.
00:14:17.940 I'm very much beautiful.
00:14:19.940 Um, I don't need makeup to define my beauty.
00:14:22.940 Um, I think, um, yeah, I don't need makeup to define my beauty.
00:14:27.940 However, you know, I do definitely feel like you have to be attracted to someone in order
00:14:32.940 for you to think that they are beautiful.
00:14:34.940 Mm-hmm.
00:14:35.940 Do you guys think that beauty standards are higher, were higher a hundred years ago or today?
00:14:42.940 Today.
00:14:43.940 Definitely today.
00:14:44.940 Today.
00:14:45.940 Definitely today.
00:14:46.940 Is there anyone that thinks they were higher a hundred years ago?
00:14:48.940 Anyone?
00:14:49.940 No, because if you look back at old black and white photographs from the Victorian era,
00:14:52.940 and then you look at, you just do a scroll through Instagram now.
00:14:54.940 I mean, I mean like it's night and day in terms of, in terms of hotness.
00:14:57.940 And I think that's down to a number of things.
00:14:58.940 It's, it's like to do with nutrition.
00:15:00.940 It's to do with fitness.
00:15:01.940 It's to do with the fact that we're all encouraged to work out now, uh, makeup, you know, clothing.
00:15:06.940 There's so many different things, bits of surgery and procedures and stuff.
00:15:10.940 I mean, there's so many different things that come into it.
00:15:12.940 But yeah, definitely overall, you know, people are more aesthetically pleasing now.
00:15:17.940 It was probably only the rich people that were super hot back in the-
00:15:19.940 That's what I was going to say.
00:15:21.940 I was going to say, I feel like, um, things are more accessible now.
00:15:24.940 So makeup is like, it's, you know, less, I don't know about pricing, but I feel like surgery is more accessible to people and stuff like that.
00:15:31.940 And I feel like that's probably why the standards are a little bit higher.
00:15:34.940 Yeah.
00:15:35.940 Do women respond when beauty standards go higher? 1.00
00:15:38.940 Do you think that women like, do you feel like we like step up to the plate? 0.85
00:15:41.940 We, yeah.
00:15:42.940 Yeah.
00:15:43.940 And how, how do we respond typically?
00:15:45.940 We follow the trend. 0.76
00:15:47.940 Yeah.
00:15:48.940 We follow the trend. 0.76
00:15:51.940 What trends?
00:15:52.940 So like the BBL trend that's happening at the moment.
00:15:55.940 I feel like it's going down now, but, um, yeah, I guess we just followed the trend.
00:15:58.940 Like, um, what else is it like?
00:16:00.940 Makeup.
00:16:01.940 Yeah.
00:16:02.940 Makeup.
00:16:03.940 Yeah.
00:16:04.940 Lip filler.
00:16:05.940 Lip filler.
00:16:06.940 Yeah.
00:16:07.940 I disagree a little bit because I don't follow like all the latest trends all the time.
00:16:11.940 Sometimes it's overwhelming to me.
00:16:13.940 So I try to do what is best for me.
00:16:16.940 And obviously we live in this society where social media is like, it's everything.
00:16:21.940 So everyone is bombarded with all these images, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to follow any single trend that's up there because it's overwhelming.
00:16:27.940 So, um, does beauty standards include weight?
00:16:31.940 Yes.
00:16:32.940 To an extent I think.
00:16:33.940 Yeah.
00:16:34.940 Yeah.
00:16:35.940 Does anyone think it doesn't?
00:16:37.940 Yeah.
00:16:38.940 I don't think so anymore.
00:16:39.940 I don't, I don't think so anymore.
00:16:40.940 I feel like, um, I feel like all shapes and sizes right now, I might be wrong, are accepted.
00:16:46.940 So, um, I just feel like for me personally, it's based on how well, how well you keep yourself and how put together you look, not about your size.
00:16:53.940 That's just me personally.
00:16:54.940 Do you think men think the same thing?
00:16:56.940 Yeah.
00:16:57.940 It doesn't.
00:16:58.940 I actually think so.
00:16:59.940 I actually do.
00:17:00.940 I think it depends.
00:17:01.940 I don't know.
00:17:02.940 I think it depends.
00:17:03.940 Yeah.
00:17:04.940 It depends.
00:17:05.940 No, but in general.
00:17:06.940 So we could talk about in general, would you say men care or they don't care about weight?
00:17:10.940 I think they do care.
00:17:11.940 Hence why girls are out here doing BBLs. 1.00
00:17:13.940 I think it depends on preference.
00:17:15.940 Is BBL the bum thing?
00:17:17.940 Yeah.
00:17:18.940 Yeah.
00:17:19.940 Yeah.
00:17:20.940 Yeah.
00:17:21.940 Yeah.
00:17:22.940 Do you think women are more put together today than a hundred years ago? 0.99
00:17:26.940 Definitely.
00:17:27.940 Definitely.
00:17:28.940 Yeah.
00:17:29.940 Yeah.
00:17:30.940 Yeah.
00:17:31.940 I don't know.
00:17:32.940 You look at some of these old pictures though, seriously, like these dusty old like photographs
00:17:36.940 sometimes you see, I mean, they're not looking good.
00:17:38.940 You know, the ladies weren't representing back then. 1.00
00:17:41.940 Do you know what I mean?
00:17:42.940 But then it might've been a thing.
00:17:43.940 That's how they were meant to look.
00:17:44.940 Yeah.
00:17:45.940 It's true.
00:17:46.940 It's true.
00:17:47.940 Yeah.
00:17:48.940 Those days were like, oh yeah, they're beautiful.
00:17:49.940 Yeah.
00:17:50.940 Yeah.
00:17:51.940 It's true.
00:17:52.940 It's true.
00:17:53.940 Look at them now, but back then.
00:17:54.940 Yeah.
00:17:55.940 She was hot. 1.00
00:17:56.940 Yeah.
00:17:57.940 Back in the days.
00:17:58.940 It was more natural back in the days.
00:17:59.940 It was like, you know, beauty is like today's like, oh, you need to be the perfect, the perfect
00:18:02.940 maker.
00:18:03.940 And I don't think they cared much as well.
00:18:04.940 But don't you think that one thing I've observed like here and also in the States a little bit as
00:18:08.940 that a lot of there's a seems to be this fashion now for women wearing quite baggy clothes.
00:18:12.940 Have you noticed like if you go to a shopping mall or something like that during the daytime,
00:18:15.940 a lot of the women are wearing like quite baggy jeans, quite baggy and maybe less makeup and stuff, 0.99
00:18:20.940 which sort of goes counter to that Instagram thing in a way, doesn't it?
00:18:23.940 Because I think just looking around the streets, I think a lot of women are dressing up sort of a bit less, 1.00
00:18:28.940 certainly during the daytime here.
00:18:30.940 But then if you go to say Poland or if you go to Ukraine or something prior to the, you know, the war,
00:18:37.940 you would see a very different sort of story.
00:18:39.940 So I think in the West, it feels like, I don't want to say standards are falling, but it seems
00:18:44.940 like a more casualness is sort of accepted into the women. 0.98
00:18:47.940 Because I see more yoga pants and sweat.
00:18:49.940 I would say I see more yoga pants and sweats than I did like 10 years ago.
00:18:53.940 Let's say when I was 26, when I was 16, you know, it was like, I don't know,
00:18:58.940 because you guys are different about yoga pants a little bit, but in the US they're like super common.
00:19:02.940 But I remember it was like a fight on Facebook about if yoga pants were acceptable in public.
00:19:07.940 I don't know if you guys have that here, if that was just an American fight.
00:19:12.940 I was in LA recently and I saw there was a lot of yoga pants going on down in sort of Venice and Venice Beach
00:19:19.940 and like places like that.
00:19:20.940 Yeah. So my question is if beauty standards are higher and women respond to beauty standards, 1.00
00:19:25.940 why are women more overweight today and we dress up less? 1.00
00:19:31.940 Is that stats that you have by any chance?
00:19:33.940 Yeah, in the 19, I mean, there's no stat on dressing up.
00:19:37.940 That's just anecdotal.
00:19:39.940 But when it comes to weight, only 10% of women were overweight in the 40s, 0.97
00:19:42.940 where 60% of women in the UK are overweight.
00:19:44.940 70% in America.
00:19:46.940 You got to remember back in the olden days, they had this thing where they used to wear corsets
00:19:50.940 in order to line their bodies.
00:19:52.940 So they had this, that was their trend, you know, that isn't the trend here.
00:19:57.940 So you got to understand that as times, as society changes, so does the trends, I guess.
00:20:02.940 Yeah, but my question is more like if women respond to beauty standards 1.00
00:20:06.940 and women actually cared about beauty standards, like why are we more overweight and we dress up less? 1.00
00:20:10.940 Because of the food that we eat.
00:20:12.940 Right, but that kind of indicates that we don't care as much as we say we do.
00:20:16.940 Like, because we're supposed to be under this immense pressure, right, from society,
00:20:20.940 but it doesn't seem like our looks are getting better as a whole.
00:20:24.940 I think again, if you compare other societies, because like before the, you know, the current...
00:20:27.940 In the West, sorry, in the West.
00:20:29.940 But just as a counterpoint though.
00:20:31.940 So when, like in 2021, I was in, spent quite a lot of time in Russia
00:20:35.940 and then also in Ukraine prior to what's happening now.
00:20:38.940 And it is a very different story though.
00:20:40.940 You do get a lot of women who are very elegant. 1.00
00:20:42.940 They're still wearing, you know, maybe peels slightly less during the daytime,
00:20:47.940 but you know what I mean?
00:20:48.940 Very, very elegant, wearing dresses all the time.
00:20:49.940 Very, very feminine in a way that you don't see so much here.
00:20:54.940 And I think that's got something to do with feminism, to be honest, 1.00
00:21:00.940 or at least the tide of...
00:21:02.940 Because society is telling women you don't have to make... 1.00
00:21:05.940 Why? You don't have to make an effort for...
00:21:07.940 It sounds very crude, but you don't have to make an effort for men, right?
00:21:09.940 Because why should you, right?
00:21:11.940 Because you are...
00:21:12.940 You're enough in yourself, okay?
00:21:14.940 And I think that's got something to do with it, to be honest.
00:21:17.940 You know, I don't think society is...
00:21:19.940 And I'm not saying society should be compelling women to do that, 0.99
00:21:22.940 but I don't think it is.
00:21:23.940 Whereas I think in some of those other countries
00:21:25.940 that are arguably a little bit more patriarchal, let's say,
00:21:28.940 there is still that pressure.
00:21:30.940 And so women are dressing up more. 1.00
00:21:31.940 And also they have to compete with one another because otherwise
00:21:34.940 if you're the girl who's, you know, just not bothering
00:21:37.940 and everyone else is, then you're going to kind of get left to the side, aren't you?
00:21:40.940 So...
00:21:41.940 Yeah, I think it just actually, you know, you raised a very good point
00:21:44.940 because feminism, you know, with feminism, women are like, 1.00
00:21:47.940 Oh, I can do whatever I want, when I want, how I want.
00:21:50.940 So like, you know, I can underdress myself.
00:21:53.940 No one should judge me for that.
00:21:54.940 And I think that it's a little bit too much.
00:21:56.940 But it's interesting because feminists complain the most about beauty standards, 1.00
00:22:00.940 but it just seems like they care the least about them.
00:22:02.940 Well, wouldn't their view just be like, well, I don't have to bother
00:22:06.940 because why would I let a man dictate how I look?
00:22:09.940 Yeah, but that's not...
00:22:11.940 Yeah, they'll say, they'll say, oh, women have such high beauty standards. 1.00
00:22:15.940 It's so hard for women because of the beauty standards Instagram. 1.00
00:22:18.940 And you know what?
00:22:19.940 I can sympathize.
00:22:20.940 It's like, if we really cared, wouldn't we be more put together and weigh less?
00:22:25.940 I agree with this point.
00:22:27.940 I think it's because there's a lot of activists now and feminism, 0.99
00:22:31.940 and they're trying to prove that.
00:22:33.940 They feel like all women do what they do for men, 0.99
00:22:36.940 but some people do things for themselves.
00:22:38.940 Yeah.
00:22:39.940 But because there's that lining of doing things for men,
00:22:43.940 a lot of feminisms now are like, they don't want to do it 1.00
00:22:47.940 just because they feel like it's doing it for a man.
00:22:50.940 Is it even such a bad thing even if they were doing it for men though?
00:22:53.940 Because you get guys who work out because they want to look ripped for women. 0.70
00:22:58.940 Absolutely not.
00:22:59.940 Yeah, absolutely not.
00:23:00.940 So...
00:23:01.940 Yeah, it wouldn't be that terrible, to be honest.
00:23:03.940 Yeah.
00:23:04.940 Because everyone wants to be liked in a way.
00:23:05.940 Yeah.
00:23:06.940 It's like, if you like someone and you want to wear something
00:23:09.940 and you think it's attractive.
00:23:11.940 Yeah.
00:23:12.940 It's not like, no, no, I'm wearing this.
00:23:13.940 You want to feel good, but you also want to be nice for other people.
00:23:17.940 Yeah.
00:23:18.940 I think.
00:23:19.940 Who's beauty standards are higher, men or women? 0.91
00:23:27.940 I think it depends.
00:23:29.940 Okay.
00:23:30.940 I want to make a rule.
00:23:31.940 No, it depends.
00:23:33.940 You have to pick one.
00:23:35.940 Pick one.
00:23:36.940 Pick one and tell me why.
00:23:40.940 I think maybe men have higher beauty standards.
00:23:44.940 I think.
00:23:45.940 Okay.
00:23:46.940 Why?
00:23:47.940 They see a lot of women and they now begin to compare, make comparisons between different
00:23:51.940 types of women. 1.00
00:23:52.940 And it's like when they see a particular woman, look in a particular way, is they would compare
00:23:57.940 another woman to the woman that they've seen.
00:23:59.940 But you think that men have higher standards for women, not that the men have the higher
00:24:03.940 standards they have to live up to.
00:24:04.940 Just to clarify.
00:24:05.940 I think men have higher standards for women. 0.63
00:24:07.940 For women.
00:24:08.940 So like the women have higher beauty standards to me. 1.00
00:24:10.940 Yes.
00:24:11.940 And that's what's making women feel like they need to comply with these standards. 1.00
00:24:16.940 Who's pickier men or women? 0.90
00:24:18.940 Men.
00:24:19.940 Definitely.
00:24:20.940 Men.
00:24:21.940 Definitely.
00:24:22.940 Yeah.
00:24:23.940 Yeah.
00:24:24.940 What percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps? 1.00
00:24:27.940 What, sorry?
00:24:28.940 What percent?
00:24:29.940 Yeah.
00:24:30.940 What percent of the time?
00:24:31.940 Probably 70%.
00:24:32.940 Yeah.
00:24:33.940 Probably about 70, yeah.
00:24:34.940 What percent of the time do you think women swipe right on dating apps? 1.00
00:24:37.940 I think about the same.
00:24:39.940 Do you know what?
00:24:40.940 70%.
00:24:41.940 I think women are more complacent than men. 1.00
00:24:44.940 Or more complacent?
00:24:45.940 Yeah.
00:24:46.940 I think they accept more than men.
00:24:47.940 Do you think men are very like, if they've got a certain standard, they're more rigid than women. 1.00
00:24:52.940 Do you think men are pickier than women? 0.99
00:24:54.940 100%.
00:24:55.940 Definitely.
00:24:56.940 Yeah.
00:24:57.940 Okay.
00:24:58.940 What percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps? 1.00
00:24:59.940 70.
00:25:00.940 Or even 80.
00:25:01.940 I think it's a high percentage.
00:25:02.940 70.
00:25:03.940 It's really high.
00:25:04.940 I think it's a low percentage.
00:25:06.940 So men swipe right 60 to 70% of the time where women, what percent of the time do you think 0.71
00:25:12.940 they swipe right?
00:25:13.940 Oh wait, no, sorry.
00:25:14.940 I think it's 45%.
00:25:15.940 I'm sorry.
00:25:16.940 I misspoke.
00:25:17.940 It's about 45 to 50, not 60.
00:25:18.940 For men.
00:25:19.940 Yeah.
00:25:20.940 For men.
00:25:21.940 What percent of the time do you think women swipe right? 1.00
00:25:22.940 Probably like 20.
00:25:23.940 Much less.
00:25:24.940 Yeah.
00:25:25.940 I would say like 10%.
00:25:26.940 70 to 80?
00:25:27.940 I don't know.
00:25:28.940 I would say 70 to 80.
00:25:29.940 What do you think?
00:25:30.940 Do you know this?
00:25:31.940 You have to know this stat.
00:25:32.940 Well, it is around that, isn't it?
00:25:33.940 Is it about 20%?
00:25:34.940 5%.
00:25:35.940 Oh, wow.
00:25:36.940 Wow.
00:25:37.940 Yeah.
00:25:38.940 I was actually, I thought the male one was actually going to be a bit higher.
00:25:41.940 Yeah.
00:25:42.940 To be honest.
00:25:43.940 Because a lot of guys, well not a lot of guys, but guys sometimes have this strategy before
00:25:46.940 the algorithm started clamping down that they would just swipe on everything and then
00:25:49.940 see what came through.
00:25:50.940 It depends what study you look at.
00:25:52.940 Yeah.
00:25:53.940 But how could you say that women are, that men are pickier if women only swipe right 5%
00:25:57.940 of the time?
00:25:58.940 Do you know why?
00:25:59.940 Because they're talking about the, they're talking about the top 1% men, aren't they?
00:26:01.940 Yeah.
00:26:02.940 Those top 1% men, those chads, they're really picky.
00:26:05.940 But that's all they're bothered about.
00:26:06.940 They're not bothered about the other guys who aren't getting a look at anyway.
00:26:08.940 Yeah.
00:26:09.940 The top 5% of men, 10.
00:26:11.940 What, what percent of men do you guys think are sexually active?
00:26:14.940 100%.
00:26:15.940 Not with themselves.
00:26:18.940 I feel like it's not that much of a high percentage.
00:26:22.940 I feel like it's lower than women's, isn't it? 1.00
00:26:24.940 Yeah.
00:26:25.940 I don't know the percentage though, but I feel like it's lower than women's.
00:26:27.940 Yeah.
00:26:28.940 What percent of men do you think are sexually active?
00:26:30.940 70.
00:26:31.940 70%.
00:26:32.940 40%.
00:26:33.940 40%.
00:26:34.940 I'd say about...
00:26:35.940 60.
00:26:36.940 I would want to say 102.
00:26:37.940 But I'm going to say 60.
00:26:39.940 60, yeah.
00:26:40.940 Me too.
00:26:41.940 60.
00:26:42.940 Troy, do you know the stat?
00:26:43.940 How many men are sexually active?
00:26:45.940 Yeah.
00:26:46.940 God, I'm being very bad manners for a person, aren't I?
00:26:49.940 It's low.
00:26:50.940 It's low though.
00:26:51.940 Yeah.
00:26:52.940 I'm curious what...
00:26:53.940 Can you tell them a little bit about your experience like coaching men in dating?
00:26:56.940 Yeah.
00:26:57.940 I mean, so I coach guys.
00:26:58.940 I mean, I create content, I write, but I coach guys to get traction in terms of dating.
00:27:04.940 And the dating marketplace is very tough out there now for everybody.
00:27:07.940 But, you know, a lot of guys, they just really don't get a look at, you know?
00:27:12.940 And I think there is this misconception.
00:27:13.940 A lot of women think, oh, men are just, you know, that it comes as easily to men as it does to women.
00:27:21.940 And it really doesn't, you know?
00:27:22.940 Because a woman basically, unless she's irredeemably unattractive for some reason, can pretty much go out and probably attract somebody that night. 1.00
00:27:30.940 You know, there's not a problem.
00:27:32.940 With guys, that's not necessarily the case.
00:27:34.940 Unless they happen to be either, you know, top whatever percentile in terms of looks or they have social status or they're famous, you know?
00:27:40.940 So a lot of guys sort of who fall below that find it very, very hard to break through.
00:27:45.940 And then when you add on top of that a sort of a lack of social skills or a lack of confidence, a lack of ability to sort of overcome some of the other difficulties they might have.
00:27:54.940 You know, there are guys who are really, really finding it very tough.
00:27:57.940 And we seem to be coming into this environment now where, you know, the rich get richer, the poor get poorer in terms of dating.
00:28:03.940 So the guys who are at the top who are getting traction, they're getting more and more market share, if you like.
00:28:09.940 And then the guys at the bottom are getting less and less.
00:28:11.940 And that's why we've got this issue of guys who are frustrated.
00:28:14.940 And there's, you know, there's sort of the insult thing online and everything like that, you know?
00:28:18.940 So I think it's pretty tough out there for a lot of average sort of dudes, I think.
00:28:23.940 Yeah, one out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.
00:28:29.940 Oh, wow.
00:28:30.940 So in here.
00:28:32.940 But so it's funny because a lot of girls like think that men are pickier than women, but it's actually the opposite.
00:28:49.940 Women are much pickier than men. 1.00
00:28:51.940 I mean, think about out of every 10 men, how many are you really attracted to?
00:28:54.940 Who is anyone here?
00:28:55.940 Would you anyone here say that they're not picky?
00:28:57.940 I'm picky.
00:28:58.940 I'm picky.
00:28:59.940 I'm picky.
00:29:00.940 I think I've become picky over time.
00:29:03.940 Yeah.
00:29:04.940 So then wouldn't you say that men have higher beauty standards they have to live up to? 1.00
00:29:09.940 Haven't you heard women say they won't date short men? 0.99
00:29:13.940 Would any of you date a guy shorter than them?
00:29:15.940 No, no, no.
00:29:16.940 I feel like I'm not quite short as it is, so if I'm shorter than me, then no.
00:29:21.940 So two inches shorter than you, any of you doing it?
00:29:23.940 No.
00:29:24.940 And I like to wear heels, so it's not going to work out.
00:29:26.940 Yeah, exactly.
00:29:27.940 It's not working out.
00:29:28.940 So I think it is tougher for guys.
00:29:33.940 I think looks-wise it has got tougher for guys.
00:29:35.940 And I think, you know, maybe you could say, well, we've had it coming because the guys
00:29:38.940 were sort of like for a long time, the looks focus was very much on women.
00:29:43.940 But I think now, very much on guys, really.
00:29:46.940 You know, again, look through Instagram, dudes with six packs, chiseled, you know, features,
00:29:51.940 all the rest of it.
00:29:52.940 And the way that social media has worked and the way that the dating apps has worked has
00:29:58.940 meant that women are now looking at these apps and they're looking at all these like top 0.99
00:30:00.940 guys, you know, top percentile guys are like, oh, that guy's super hot.
00:30:04.940 And then the bloke who doesn't have those attributes doesn't measure up.
00:30:07.940 So she's thinking, well, I want that.
00:30:09.940 I want this guy at the top.
00:30:10.940 So now guys being encouraged to level up, you know, which is not altogether a bad thing.
00:30:15.940 Right.
00:30:16.940 Because self-improvement is good for everybody.
00:30:17.940 You know, we should all be doing what we can do to improve ourselves every day.
00:30:20.940 Right.
00:30:21.940 But at the same time, I think it has got tougher for guys.
00:30:23.940 And then in a society like here, like in the UK, there's a lot of guys who are very thirsty
00:30:28.940 and they, you know, and they will, they, they will drop their standards.
00:30:33.940 You know?
00:30:34.940 Yeah.
00:30:35.940 Yeah.
00:30:36.940 Sad.
00:30:37.940 How?
00:30:38.940 So do you ever teach guys to like cold approach women?
00:30:41.940 Yeah, absolutely.
00:30:42.940 Yeah.
00:30:43.940 Yeah.
00:30:44.940 And what percent of women are receptive would you say to, I mean, like you've been doing this
00:30:48.940 forever, but there's someone that has it, like he has to go through how many girls to
00:30:54.940 get a number.
00:30:55.940 It depends.
00:30:56.940 Usual caveats.
00:30:57.940 It depends where it is.
00:30:58.940 You know, there are certain places, like if you're in like Latin America, it's a lot 1.00
00:31:01.940 more people are maybe Italy as well.
00:31:03.940 Actually.
00:31:04.940 I don't know.
00:31:05.940 I don't, I maybe not, but you know, Latin culture is a bit more like open.
00:31:08.940 Yeah.
00:31:09.940 They play the card, like, you know, Latin lover. 0.88
00:31:10.940 Yeah.
00:31:11.940 But I don't know.
00:31:12.940 I think it's difficult though.
00:31:13.940 Like everywhere.
00:31:14.940 But to want, yeah, yeah, it is.
00:31:15.940 But to answer the question, you have to be prepared to go through a lot of rejection.
00:31:20.940 You know, like if you're an average guy and you're, you're going to talk to a woman in 0.98
00:31:24.940 a coffee shop or, you know, a bar or bookstore or the grocery store, whatever it is, you know,
00:31:29.940 you are going to go through, through rejection.
00:31:32.940 In fact, rejection is, is the rule and the exception really is to get, is to get accepted,
00:31:37.940 but that's okay.
00:31:38.940 You know, it's a question of accepting that, being okay with that, being confident and working
00:31:43.940 on yourself every day in order to be the best possible man that you can be.
00:31:47.940 But yeah, a lot of rejection for sure for people.
00:31:50.940 I was going to say, well, at least a man has options.
00:31:53.940 I feel like women, we are, our options are very, very limited.
00:31:56.940 So even if, even if a man is getting rejected, at least he knows, okay, fine.
00:31:59.940 I can find another woman who is maybe like a woman that I'm interested in. 1.00
00:32:03.940 But for a woman, it's very, very difficult.
00:32:05.940 I feel like the options for men are very, very low in the UK.
00:32:07.940 It is not difficult.
00:32:08.940 You just go outside.
00:32:09.940 Does everyone want to have sex?
00:32:12.940 It's true, but it's like, for me, it's not going to be a guy that I want.
00:32:16.940 But whose fault is that?
00:32:18.940 Isn't that your own fault?
00:32:19.940 Because that's your standards.
00:32:20.940 It's definitely not my fault.
00:32:21.940 I'm not selling it for anybody that I'm not attracted to or I don't want.
00:32:24.940 Absolutely.
00:32:25.940 I agree.
00:32:26.940 We need better options.
00:32:27.940 So yeah, I think you should keep coaching men to level up.
00:32:28.940 So the men need to level up?
00:32:29.940 100%.
00:32:30.940 But then why don't you think the women need to level up? 1.00
00:32:32.940 I mean, how many women? 1.00
00:32:33.940 The women are leveling up.
00:32:34.940 I'm leveled.
00:32:35.940 What percent of women have cookbooks? 1.00
00:32:38.940 What percent of women are homemakers? 1.00
00:32:39.940 What percent of women really work with kids and can be good mothers? 1.00
00:32:42.940 But there's percentage, but you just have to find your percentage.
00:32:47.940 Go ahead.
00:32:48.940 You just have to find your percentage.
00:32:50.940 You have to find your percentage?
00:32:51.940 You have to find it.
00:32:52.940 There's women out there. 1.00
00:32:53.940 You just have to find.
00:32:54.940 Yeah.
00:32:55.940 But is it common?
00:32:56.940 But that's for a certain type of man.
00:32:57.940 There are some men that like boss babes who have businesses. 0.85
00:33:00.940 You know, grinding and stuff like that.
00:33:02.940 No, no, no.
00:33:03.940 There are 100%.
00:33:04.940 100%.
00:33:05.940 Bum.
00:33:06.940 Broke men. 0.98
00:33:07.940 Yes.
00:33:08.940 If that's what you did, that's what you did.
00:33:11.940 No.
00:33:12.940 So you don't think men like women that are boss babes? 1.00
00:33:14.940 Men don't give a shit about our money. 1.00
00:33:16.940 Exactly.
00:33:17.940 They literally don't care.
00:33:18.940 It's like, okay, if this guy ever told you about a shoe collection and you're like,
00:33:21.940 oh, that's cool, but you don't really care.
00:33:22.940 That's how men view our money. 1.00
00:33:24.940 They don't care.
00:33:25.940 It's nothing to them.
00:33:26.940 You proved the point what you said just now though, because what you're saying is that
00:33:29.940 you could walk out theoretically, you know, hypothetically, you could walk out and get
00:33:32.940 some guy, maybe come and chat you up or whatever, but you're looking for a certain percentile
00:33:36.940 of guy.
00:33:37.940 Yeah.
00:33:38.940 So you're basically saying, oh, you know, this group of guys who might hit on me randomly
00:33:42.940 in West London, I don't care about them because I want this top tier.
00:33:46.940 And that's the thing.
00:33:47.940 And I'm not saying that's a bad.
00:33:48.940 I mean, that's absolutely everyone's prerogative.
00:33:50.940 But at the same time, I think a lot of guys are finding it increasingly difficult in this
00:33:55.940 dating marketplace, you know, because women are the gatekeepers basically, you know. 1.00
00:33:59.940 Yes.
00:34:00.940 So I'm curious because I hear this a lot.
00:34:02.940 Like I'm not going to get a guy that's not on my level or is that what you said?
00:34:05.940 I don't want to misquote you.
00:34:06.940 Yeah.
00:34:07.940 I just don't want to be of a guy that's just not up to the standard that I want.
00:34:11.940 So when as women do we lower our standards and decide that they're too high? 1.00
00:34:15.940 If we don't, if all the guys we're talking to don't live up to the standards that we want,
00:34:19.940 when do we lower them?
00:34:20.940 When you're getting old and there's no more time.
00:34:22.940 When your body clock is giving up and you can't have children.
00:34:25.940 So 90% of your eggs are gone by 30.
00:34:29.940 So at what age would you say that women should start lowering their standards? 1.00
00:34:33.940 Because I'd be 30 then if that's the case.
00:34:36.940 I need children.
00:34:37.940 Do you know what I mean?
00:34:38.940 Because it's geriatric pregnancy starts at 35. 0.99
00:34:40.940 Wow.
00:34:41.940 So I think a lot of times like women, we think our biological clock is a lot longer than it really is. 1.00
00:34:46.940 You freeze your eggs.
00:34:48.940 That's also an option.
00:34:49.940 Yeah.
00:34:50.940 Yeah.
00:34:51.940 But I can't remember the stat off the top of my head, but it doesn't work out for a lot of women. 1.00
00:34:56.940 They kind of sell us that dream.
00:34:58.940 Yeah.
00:34:59.940 I wish I could remember what percent of women actually get pregnant, but it's not as high as you think after geriatric pregnancy.
00:35:07.940 Yeah.
00:35:08.940 I think the other way round, it's only about 50% if a guy freezes his sperm.
00:35:12.940 Oh, wow.
00:35:13.940 It's quite, you know, it's like a 50-50 shot, basically, whether it's going to work or not.
00:35:19.940 I mean, yeah, it's a bit of a tricky one.
00:35:21.940 I mean, yeah.
00:35:24.940 I don't know.
00:35:25.940 But no one can help who they're attracted to.
00:35:29.940 Exactly.
00:35:30.940 I mean, you can't say to somebody, well, you know, it's very hard to say to somebody, look, you should lower your standards.
00:35:37.940 Mm-hmm.
00:35:38.940 Because we are attracted to who we're attracted to, and that's just the reality of it, isn't it?
00:35:42.940 I'm curious.
00:35:43.940 Would you guys rather be, like, so at 60, 65, would you rather be by yourself or be with someone you're not attracted to?
00:35:50.940 Be by myself.
00:35:51.940 Be by myself, yeah.
00:35:52.940 Yeah.
00:35:53.940 Cats.
00:35:54.940 No problem.
00:35:55.940 Really?
00:35:56.940 No kids?
00:35:57.940 Because to me, it's like, I'd rather be with someone I'm not attracted to than not have children.
00:36:01.940 Yeah, 100%.
00:36:02.940 I definitely want children.
00:36:03.940 I would feel like my life was, like, a failure if I didn't have kids.
00:36:05.940 No, I'm looking for companionship.
00:36:06.940 No, I definitely want kids.
00:36:07.940 Even if it's real or it's not.
00:36:08.940 What?
00:36:09.940 Even if it's real or it's not.
00:36:10.940 What?
00:36:11.940 Even if it's real or it's not.
00:36:13.940 What were you going to say?
00:36:14.940 You definitely want kids? 0.77
00:36:15.940 Yeah.
00:36:16.940 I know.
00:36:17.940 So I'm asking if you had the two options and you would still pick by yourself.
00:36:20.940 You said at 65.
00:36:21.940 I mean, you just told me the age of 35, so.
00:36:25.940 No, but I'm saying, so in one scenario at 65, you have a husband you're not attracted to and children and a family.
00:36:30.940 And at the other one, you're by yourself.
00:36:32.940 So I'm saying, like, as women, we keep saying we need our standards to be on a certain level, right?
00:36:36.940 And I hear this is super common.
00:36:37.940 It's not just you.
00:36:38.940 So it's like, but when do we start lowering them if the men aren't meeting them?
00:36:43.940 Because what's our other option?
00:36:45.940 Bye, dog.
00:36:47.940 That dog ain't giving you kids, I'll tell you that.
00:36:51.940 I think that's where it goes with the beauty beyond the eye.
00:36:56.940 You see?
00:36:57.940 You don't find him attractive first and you really start liking him after.
00:37:01.940 But you see what I'm saying when I say that?
00:37:03.940 I think that men have higher beauty standards than women, like that they have to live up to. 1.00
00:37:09.940 Because it's such a small percentage of men that we're even attracted to.
00:37:12.940 Everyone here said they're picky.
00:37:13.940 But don't you feel like it happened to us first as women?
00:37:17.940 We had to level ourselves up to be a certain way.
00:37:21.940 When do you think we had to level ourselves up?
00:37:26.940 I'd say about 20, 30 years ago.
00:37:28.940 I feel like we've gotten worse in the last 20 to 30 years.
00:37:32.940 See?
00:37:33.940 So about 20, 30 years?
00:37:34.940 No, but I don't think we've leveled up.
00:37:35.940 I think women have leveled down. 1.00
00:37:36.940 I don't agree with that.
00:37:38.940 No, I think you're right.
00:37:40.940 But I think probably from my perspective, I reckon what happened was that there was that pressure on women.
00:37:45.940 To be, you know, you've got to look amazing all the time.
00:37:48.940 And blokes, like back in the sort of the 80s and early 90s and stuff, guys didn't really have to make an effort.
00:37:53.940 You know what I mean?
00:37:54.940 It was like, you could have a beer gun and just like, whatever, football shirt on and she's like, oh yeah, she's nice.
00:37:59.940 And you know, it's very laddy kind of thing.
00:38:00.940 Really?
00:38:01.940 I've seen pictures of guys from like the, I saw beach pictures from like the, before the 60s.
00:38:07.940 Everyone was hot back then.
00:38:09.940 I thought they were so much more attractive.
00:38:11.940 The men and the women, they were, I feel like something switched in the food or something.
00:38:16.940 But maybe, maybe just in England then, but no, I know what you mean.
00:38:19.940 Cause I've seen in pictures in like Brazilian stuff, like from the 70s.
00:38:22.940 No, I'm talking the U S like California pictures.
00:38:24.940 Oh really?
00:38:25.940 Okay.
00:38:26.940 Okay.
00:38:27.940 Okay.
00:38:28.940 I dunno.
00:38:29.940 Well, from my perspective, what I've seen, I think that standards for men have got higher in the last sort of 10, 15, 20 years.
00:38:36.940 That's just, just my sense of it.
00:38:38.940 And maybe women's had to have been higher in the past, but it like, I dunno, it doesn't really help anybody, does it?
00:38:45.940 Do you know what I mean?
00:38:46.940 Like, like I think, I think now because of the thirstiness of guys and the fact that as you, as we've said, I mean, guys are less selected than, than women.
00:38:54.940 I think guys are now more, less picky than they were.
00:38:57.940 Do you know what I mean?
00:38:58.940 I think, I think there are many guys who will take a woman who's perhaps less attractive than he would have preferred because he thinks that's his only option.
00:39:06.940 I think ultimately is finding someone you're compatible with.
00:39:10.940 So all these standards, standards, standards, it's like, what is a standard?
00:39:14.940 If he's a good guy, if he's a good girl and it's like, you know, it's compatible to you.
00:39:18.940 It's got the same values, same, you know, principles and you get along well and you have the same, you know, goals in life.
00:39:24.940 I think that's what can be defined as a, you know.
00:39:27.940 Yeah.
00:39:28.940 I'm curious.
00:39:29.940 What are your standards?
00:39:30.940 Like, what, what do you guys look for in a guy?
00:39:32.940 I think I'm maybe not the right person.
00:39:35.940 I think like, uh, lots of women, no, because it's like... 1.00
00:39:38.940 You don't look for anything?
00:39:39.940 No, because I...
00:39:40.940 You go, women? 1.00
00:39:41.940 Women? 1.00
00:39:42.940 Is that your thing?
00:39:43.940 No, because I, I know that lots of women, they look at just, you know, how much money my man is making, how much, you know, good, good life you have. 1.00
00:39:53.940 Yeah, you don't have to say money.
00:39:54.940 It could be like whatever you look for.
00:39:56.940 Uh, for me, it's like having emotional support, most of everything.
00:40:00.940 Okay.
00:40:01.940 And, you know, having someone that, you know, understands my needs, you know, on a mental level.
00:40:05.940 Obviously, you know, we need to, you know, do life together and navigate, you know, challenges and everything.
00:40:11.940 But ultimately, for me, it's about finding that compatible person, which is very difficult to do because, you know, you're going to have always something, you know, that as, um, some character traits that are not really, you know, men and women are just different.
00:40:25.940 And as much as we want to play this card, oh, I want to be like a man.
00:40:28.940 I'm never going to be a man.
00:40:29.940 I wasn't born a man.
00:40:30.940 And I'm not going to understand women. 1.00
00:40:33.940 So don't you think that asking him to understand your emotional needs is asking a man to be a woman when he's not a woman? 0.66
00:40:39.940 A little bit.
00:40:40.940 Yes.
00:40:41.940 But not in a way like, don't get me wrong.
00:40:43.940 Yes, maybe a little bit.
00:40:44.940 Yes.
00:40:45.940 But at the same time, I don't want to call the person, you know, in front of me.
00:40:48.940 No, you know, I want to have someone that is kind of empathic enough, you know, got a little bit of warmness.
00:40:54.940 It doesn't sound too hard to find a warm, a nice guy.
00:40:57.940 You think that's hard?
00:40:59.940 Um.
00:41:00.940 Like what else?
00:41:01.940 There has to be.
00:41:02.940 There has to be more.
00:41:03.940 It can't just be that guy.
00:41:06.940 Yeah.
00:41:07.940 I mean, there are, but.
00:41:08.940 There's going to be loads of guys in the chat now.
00:41:10.940 I'm a nice guy.
00:41:11.940 I can emotionally support you.
00:41:14.940 No, no.
00:41:15.940 I mean, I mean, I want to, you know, I want to say this, like, there are lots of great guys out there.
00:41:20.940 I don't want to be like, oh, yeah, man.
00:41:22.940 It's just, I find that this particular time that we're living, guys are like finding very difficult in committing on the long term.
00:41:30.940 Because, you know, a lot of pressure there is in this society.
00:41:32.940 So it's like, I can't provide to my woman because, you know, the bills are going high. 0.59
00:41:36.940 You know, the society is crazy at the moment, you know, and women wants always more, more, more. 1.00
00:41:40.940 The last clothes, the last, you know, trend that is there, you know, I need to satisfy that.
00:41:45.940 And I feel like that it's quite detrimental.
00:41:48.940 So I feel like, yes, you're right.
00:41:50.940 Maybe we can lower a little bit our standards and try trying to be more realistic with what we really, you know, we're going to get.
00:41:57.940 How old would you date?
00:41:58.940 Like, is there an age range?
00:42:00.940 Like you said, you're 37, right?
00:42:02.940 Eight.
00:42:03.940 38.
00:42:04.940 Okay.
00:42:05.940 So would you date a 21 year old guy?
00:42:06.940 No.
00:42:07.940 Okay.
00:42:08.940 So there's age.
00:42:09.940 Yeah.
00:42:10.940 Because it's a question.
00:42:11.940 I mean, yeah, I don't think so.
00:42:13.940 It has to be like, you know, mature enough for me to, you know, for me to get deep conversations
00:42:18.940 without like, Oh, what are you talking about without scaring him.
00:42:21.940 And I think like when you're 21, you still need to figure out a lot of things.
00:42:25.940 I'm not saying that by 38, you're going to have everything.
00:42:28.940 No, you date a 55 year old guy.
00:42:30.940 That's okay.
00:42:31.940 Nah, I don't think so.
00:42:34.940 Okay.
00:42:35.940 Same age.
00:42:36.940 Same age.
00:42:37.940 So maybe, maybe up until 45, I would say.
00:42:39.940 45.
00:42:40.940 Yeah.
00:42:41.940 Okay.
00:42:42.940 Or less.
00:42:43.940 Yeah.
00:42:44.940 Anything else?
00:42:45.940 So he just has to be emotionally available under the age of 45.
00:42:46.940 Funny.
00:42:47.940 Over 30, maybe?
00:42:48.940 Over 30.
00:42:49.940 Yeah.
00:42:50.940 But I'm not doing like.
00:42:51.940 I'm not doing an advert out there.
00:42:53.940 No.
00:42:54.940 It used to be.
00:42:55.940 Me, me, me.
00:42:56.940 No, no, no.
00:42:57.940 No, no, no.
00:42:58.940 That's not an advert.
00:43:00.940 Um, just, as I said, like for me, the emotional support without being too,
00:43:05.940 much a woman is very important.
00:43:07.940 And to be able to, you know, understand like that, trying to understand us, because as
00:43:14.940 we, as women, we're trying to understand men and we're trying to get into that masculine
00:43:20.940 energy, which is quite like difficult to do.
00:43:23.940 And at the same time, I would love, you know, that the men trying to be a little bit more
00:43:26.940 empathetic and trying to understand without becoming a woman. 0.98
00:43:29.940 I mean, it has to be men.
00:43:30.940 It has to be men. 0.96
00:43:31.940 Um, have you dated guys that weren't emotionally available before or emotional?
00:43:36.940 I forgot what words you said exactly, but something like that.
00:43:39.940 Um, you just mentioned it a couple of times.
00:43:41.940 So I was just wondering.
00:43:42.940 I think there are lots of emotionally unavailable men out there because, um, it's everything has
00:43:48.940 to do with, I think, traumas and things that they've been experiencing in life.
00:43:52.940 So if a man is, um, emotionally unavailable, it's just because it went maybe through something
00:43:58.940 that is not capable of, you might feel something, but it's just not capable to just put everything
00:44:03.940 out there.
00:44:04.940 Um, not saying that everyone is like that, but I think a lot of people, I mean, again, talking
00:44:10.940 with a lot of friends and people that are all saying men, they don't want to commit, you know, they
00:44:15.940 don't want to see the long term.
00:44:16.940 They always, but I feel also like maybe we need to look at ourselves and say, like, what's
00:44:21.940 wrong with me?
00:44:22.940 Why is this is not working and trying to fix, you know, things.
00:44:27.940 Uh, what about you?
00:44:29.940 What do you look for in a guy?
00:44:30.940 What are your...
00:44:31.940 Um, ambition, again, emotional support as well.
00:44:34.940 Cause I feel like a lot of men do not know how to give emotional support.
00:44:38.940 And when you do question it, they end up arguing with you or backing away.
00:44:43.940 Um, again, like she said, because of traumas and stuff that goes like wrong in their life.
00:44:50.940 And then they bring it into the relationship for, from past experiences or being cheated
00:44:55.940 on.
00:44:56.940 Um, so I think it is, it's very tough to find that.
00:44:59.940 Um, as well, what else?
00:45:01.940 Um, someone's...
00:45:03.940 So you said ambitious.
00:45:04.940 Um, can we put a dollar amount to it?
00:45:06.940 Is there a money?
00:45:07.940 How much?
00:45:08.940 Cause how, how old did you say you were?
00:45:10.940 32.
00:45:11.940 32.
00:45:12.940 So how, what old is the guy roughly?
00:45:14.940 How old?
00:45:15.940 Yeah.
00:45:16.940 Do you want him to be?
00:45:17.940 Um, my age and I would say up to the age of 40.
00:45:21.940 Okay.
00:45:22.940 So let's say he's 40.
00:45:23.940 Okay.
00:45:24.940 How much does he have to be making roughly?
00:45:26.940 Um, I just think he just needs to be able to be a provider.
00:45:32.940 Um, especially if you're going into relationship, you, cause I'm quite old school.
00:45:36.940 So I think a woman should play their role and a man should play their role. 0.98
00:45:40.940 Um, so if you're able to provide and, you know, pay, um, sorry, run the household, then,
00:45:47.940 then it's okay.
00:45:48.940 I don't think it, how much does that cost?
00:45:51.940 Well, that depends on where you're living.
00:45:54.940 You could be living outside of London, inside of London.
00:45:57.940 It, that all depends.
00:45:58.940 Um, it's how many bedrooms you have it.
00:46:01.940 Yeah.
00:46:02.940 It really all depends.
00:46:03.940 A rough.
00:46:04.940 Can I get a rough number?
00:46:06.940 Um, I don't know.
00:46:09.940 Um, maybe about 40, 40, that's like 50.
00:46:16.940 I'm American.
00:46:17.940 So 55,000.
00:46:18.940 That's like average salary, right?
00:46:19.940 Yeah.
00:46:20.940 Okay.
00:46:21.940 That's not bad.
00:46:22.940 So average salary.
00:46:23.940 What else?
00:46:24.940 40, 30, 30 to 40 roughly is what you said.
00:46:27.940 Yeah.
00:46:28.940 Your age or, um, average salary.
00:46:30.940 What else?
00:46:31.940 Um, yeah.
00:46:32.940 So you need to be, be able to support me emotionally as well.
00:46:36.940 Um, again, you need to, you know, have some sort of attraction there.
00:46:42.940 That's it really.
00:46:45.940 What about height?
00:46:46.940 How tall?
00:46:47.940 Oh, you need to be, you need to be, you need to be taller then.
00:46:49.940 How tall are you?
00:46:50.940 I'm five, six.
00:46:51.940 Okay.
00:46:52.940 So five, six is good.
00:46:53.940 About five, seven and above.
00:46:56.940 Five, seven and up.
00:46:57.940 Okay.
00:46:58.940 Yeah.
00:46:59.940 So that's it.
00:47:00.940 It doesn't sound that hard to find.
00:47:01.940 It doesn't sound that hard to find.
00:47:02.940 No, but it is really difficult.
00:47:03.940 A five, seven guy making $40,000 a year.
00:47:06.940 Yeah.
00:47:07.940 That's emotionally available.
00:47:09.940 It doesn't seem that hard.
00:47:10.940 It is very hard.
00:47:11.940 I just feel like, yeah, a lot of guys are just not there anymore.
00:47:15.940 They're just very, they, you know, minds elsewhere, to be honest.
00:47:20.940 It's just interesting.
00:47:21.940 40, like, you said you, you're old school, right?
00:47:26.940 Yeah.
00:47:27.940 Do you think that women should be virgins the same way that men should be providers?
00:47:31.940 No.
00:47:32.940 Why?
00:47:33.940 Isn't that a double standard?
00:47:35.940 Because if we expect them to be traditional providers, shouldn't we be traditional virgins? 0.97
00:47:40.940 Yeah.
00:47:41.940 But again, I am old school, but you have to know that this is the modern world as well.
00:47:46.940 So that's not really going to happen.
00:47:48.940 So wouldn't you say the same thing with that provider guy?
00:47:51.940 Like, it's not going to happen.
00:47:53.940 You need two incomes to survive.
00:47:55.940 To a certain aspect.
00:47:56.940 Yeah.
00:47:57.940 Yeah.
00:47:58.940 Okay.
00:47:59.940 What do you look for?
00:48:00.940 Go ahead.
00:48:01.940 A man that can support me like I can support him.
00:48:04.940 And that doesn't just mean money.
00:48:06.940 I'm talking about generally in stuff that I like to do, support me in what I like to do.
00:48:12.940 And I'm very big on supporting a man as well.
00:48:14.940 Like, I love to give them the encouragement and be their cheerleader.
00:48:20.940 And I just want the same.
00:48:22.940 And being able to see a future with that person and us having the same goals, which means a family,
00:48:30.940 building a family, building a house together.
00:48:33.940 Would he be a great father figure?
00:48:35.940 I wouldn't know unless he has kids already.
00:48:40.940 Loving me.
00:48:41.940 Just having a lovable home.
00:48:43.940 Yes, he has to work.
00:48:44.940 Because I'm not having a man that doesn't work.
00:48:46.940 Because I work.
00:48:47.940 So we both have to work.
00:48:50.940 I'm not really bothered about, I'm happy to go 50-50.
00:48:56.940 If I have to.
00:48:57.940 You know?
00:48:58.940 I mean, you can pay the mortgage and I could pay for the gas and electric.
00:49:01.940 You know, I'm all right with that too.
00:49:03.940 But that's what I want.
00:49:05.940 And emotional support, yeah, we do need emotional support.
00:49:08.940 Because a lot of men these days, which you don't realize, they need emotional support.
00:49:12.940 So why can't we get it?
00:49:13.940 Who do you think is more emotionally unstable?
00:49:16.940 Men or women? 0.78
00:49:17.940 I think men are now. 0.81
00:49:18.940 I would have said women before, but I feel like, well, maybe. 0.67
00:49:22.940 Women. 0.81
00:49:23.940 Women. 0.81
00:49:24.940 Sorry, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
00:49:25.940 Really?
00:49:26.940 Yeah, I think women. 1.00
00:49:27.940 Oh my gosh.
00:49:28.940 I feel like men are now. 0.97
00:49:30.940 No.
00:49:31.940 You see TikTok?
00:49:32.940 That's all it is.
00:49:33.940 It's emotionally unstable women. 1.00
00:49:35.940 All these girls crying on TikTok.
00:49:36.940 I'm like, what is going on?
00:49:37.940 I haven't seen a guy crying on TikTok.
00:49:38.940 Yeah, because they do it behind closed doors.
00:49:39.940 I feel like men hide their feelings as well.
00:49:40.940 Yeah, men don't really like to show how they're feeling compared to women.
00:49:41.940 But don't you think that's just how men process emotions?
00:49:42.940 Like they process emotions differently than women? 1.00
00:49:43.940 Yeah, they do.
00:49:44.940 But not all men.
00:49:45.940 But in general, right?
00:49:46.940 Yeah.
00:49:47.940 Because we always make it sound like a bad thing that men don't like talk to each other
00:49:52.940 or like, you know?
00:49:53.940 Yeah.
00:49:54.940 Yeah.
00:49:55.940 Yeah.
00:49:56.940 Yeah.
00:49:57.940 Yeah.
00:49:58.940 Yeah.
00:49:59.940 Yeah.
00:50:00.940 Yeah.
00:50:01.940 Yeah.
00:50:02.940 I just think they process emotions differently.
00:50:03.940 Yeah.
00:50:04.940 They do.
00:50:05.940 Compared to women. 1.00
00:50:06.940 But it's like, sometimes we try to make them into women by being like, process the emotions.
00:50:07.940 Like I process the emotions.
00:50:08.940 True.
00:50:09.940 I think they need to.
00:50:10.940 Because there is a lot of men that have mental health at the moment.
00:50:11.940 So I think they do need to be able to talk about their feelings.
00:50:12.940 Yeah.
00:50:13.940 But not with women. 0.99
00:50:14.940 Yeah.
00:50:15.940 But why not?
00:50:16.940 Why not?
00:50:17.940 Yeah.
00:50:18.940 Why not?
00:50:19.940 Honestly, because women throw stuff. 1.00
00:50:20.940 Yeah.
00:50:21.940 Yeah.
00:50:22.940 Yeah.
00:50:23.940 Yeah.
00:50:24.940 Yeah.
00:50:25.940 But not with women. 0.99
00:50:26.940 Yeah.
00:50:27.940 But why not?
00:50:28.940 Yeah.
00:50:29.940 Why not?
00:50:30.940 Honestly, because women throw stuff in your face later. 1.00
00:50:33.940 I agree.
00:50:34.940 Yeah.
00:50:35.940 And then what they do is they'll throw something in your face and then they'll add lies to it.
00:50:40.940 So it'll be kind of true, but kind of not true.
00:50:42.940 Yeah.
00:50:43.940 But not all women.
00:50:44.940 Not all women. 0.96
00:50:45.940 Yeah.
00:50:46.940 I mean, I didn't say a hundred percent of women, but I'm just saying if I had a balance 1.00
00:50:48.940 of probabilities and I had 10 guys and 10 girls, I would say that women are more 1.00
00:50:51.940 likely to do that.
00:50:52.940 Yeah.