JustPearlyThings - Definition Of A TOXIC Relationship

00:00:00.000 this is a young panel so i'm i'm hoping this topic still works

00:00:04.600 so question what what is your definition of a toxic ex

00:00:09.060 someone that feels entitled to making decisions for you i feel like yeah yeah that's a toxic

00:00:18.200 ex someone that feels entitled to to your life to your lifestyle but that also determines on

00:00:24.780 whether you give them that entitled what do you give them that but do you not like it when a guy

00:00:28.480 has a bit of like control like with me even though i basically have a lot of control in my career and

00:00:33.560 in my life but i like to feel you know petite and cute so i like when a man is like give it to me 0.99

00:00:40.000 i like to have like a bit of um controlling that oh where are you yeah i want to know you care about

00:00:46.120 me because yeah like the whole controlling thing shows you that he cares as well i think that's

00:00:49.960 important in any relationship okay yeah this is confusing you're nodding and she says this

00:00:55.060 you agree because but you're saying the opposite of what you said because you know why no no no

00:01:00.140 i agree i agree i agree because of the context that she means it in yeah yeah toxic oh like

00:01:07.280 in an angry way in a controlling way as in i would want you to show me that you care i get that i like

00:01:15.560 that i'm not gonna lie i think she means i can't lie no no i can't lie to show me show me that you

00:01:20.440 want me chase me okay okay so show me that you want me you don't want him to feel entitled to

00:01:25.800 making decisions yes but you want him to chase you okay you want i'm just running this down yes

00:01:31.440 i do think that there's a huge difference between controlling and a bit of dominance

00:01:37.200 and i think that as a woman i think in a relationship you like a man that has a little

00:01:41.800 bit of dominance i think controlling and like constantly checking where you are i feel like

00:01:46.200 it's a bit too much in my opinion anyway i feel like there should be a level of trust in a relationship

00:01:50.400 word if you're chasing constantly asking myself but no when i said when i said where like where are you

00:01:54.920 it's more of like oh are you safe are you at home yet okay yeah so that's different yeah okay what's

00:02:00.220 the difference between controlling and dominance i think a dominant man is someone that can like make

00:02:04.620 decisions like say for example like we're going on a date okay i'm picking you up at eight i'm taking

00:02:11.100 you somewhere like that's kind of like dominance or like did you get home safe or you know checking

00:02:15.120 up on you and making sure you're good but like instead of being like where are you what are you

00:02:18.900 doing who are you with show me who you're with you know you can't you can't wear that outfit like

00:02:23.400 that is very toxic so so you want them to be able to make the decisions but not the decision of what to

00:02:28.340 wear when a man goes when a man goes oh babe i want you to wear that sexy outfit you look good in

00:02:39.320 that okay that's cute that means he trusts you though don't you think there's a level of trust

00:02:43.900 manipulation not yeah i don't think you guys are really answering the question by what she said

00:02:50.780 what is a toxic yeah you guys are just saying the guy's being controlled and manipulative i feel

00:02:56.080 like those are two different things yeah i agree with that okay what do you think i feel like a

00:03:01.440 toxic relationship is when two people are going at each other but in a way where you know that

00:03:06.860 what one person saying is not good and what another person saying is not good but it's like

00:03:10.640 in your head it's it's good to them but in their head it's not good so it's like you guys are

00:03:16.060 fighting and battling like okay what's that what's it's like do you get what you're clashing with

00:03:20.320 each other yeah you might love each other to pieces but if it doesn't work and you have that

00:03:23.640 clash all the time yeah then that's what makes it toxic so extreme fighting yeah okay knowing that

00:03:31.740 it's not good but you're still doing and you're still together yeah so knowing it's not good but

00:03:37.560 staying together yeah yeah what about what about rough patches and marriages um i think rough patches

00:03:43.740 in marriages i mean because don't you argue all the time during a rough patch in a marriage you

00:03:48.160 wouldn't think i agree but what i would say is if you're married to someone it's a lifelong commitment

00:03:53.060 and i think those are things that you should be able to work through by communication like

00:03:57.160 there's even like yeah it's couples therapy even like if you need to do it if you're willing to like

00:04:02.640 work through that then you can get through it but yeah everyone argues yeah and i'm just see it's just

00:04:09.160 it's very broad everything you guys are saying i'm just trying to lock you down onto onto one thing

00:04:13.940 uh go ahead i feel like it depends on what the topic of conversation is and what you guys are

00:04:19.400 arguing about that then depends whether if it's toxic or thing where i'm correcting you and what

00:04:24.060 you're doing is wrong yeah wait say that again sorry that all depends on what you guys are arguing

00:04:29.140 about for you for you to be for you to know whether it is toxic or thing where you're just correcting

00:04:34.620 the person because yeah so what so what would be what would be an example of something that's toxic

00:04:41.020 and something that's not i've got one of course it's a good one

00:04:44.000 oh god it's free

00:04:47.160 like in other girls pictures on instagram following bad girls that is toxic in itself

00:04:55.100 i'm sorry do you think it's don't you think it's toxic to be constantly looking who he's following

00:04:59.820 and that's why i say it takes two to tango yeah but at the end of the day yeah if you really like

00:05:07.960 one that person and you like the person you're with like why do you need to seek elsewhere why do

00:05:12.320 you need to have temptation yeah but why do you gotta get upset over an instagram like because

00:05:16.480 there's no actual double tapping it because you clearly like what you're seeing but aren't you

00:05:20.680 aren't you like what you're seeing no you don't you don't think you're looking for drama in a way

00:05:26.260 no i'm trying to see if i can trust him you're doing it for trust i'm not just me

00:05:31.420 shouldn't you go into relationships in good faith no no no she's not everything she's saying is right

00:05:37.440 the reason why i'm saying everything she's saying is right because as you know we are gen z

00:05:41.020 the way things were back then is totally different you guys didn't have social media you guys didn't

00:05:45.180 have phones so when you guys see people on the street and you're like you're like you'll go to

00:05:57.800 them you yeah traps them right but now traps in is double tapping because it says a lot about a man's

00:06:04.300 sexual discipline as well that's really okay what about what about when girls post selfies while in 0.88

00:06:09.640 a relationship yeah it's the same thing as i was saying yeah traps in is double tapping and liking a

00:06:13.380 girl's picture that's showing that yes you're you're attracted to them and when they say slide

00:06:16.700 so would you say a toxic girl post selfies and and while she's in a relationship if her intention 1.00

00:06:23.200 sorry if her intention is to get a reaction out of that from a certain audience then yes but what

00:06:28.920 if his intention was just to like the picture well why would you just like a and if anything let's

00:06:34.220 have an open conversation yeah you know what let's yeah because i don't like a single guy's picture

00:06:38.040 or you know what i mean because i would why would i give them the satisfaction of seeing

00:06:42.320 me me in their notifications no thank you i mean to be honest i don't really think that liking a

00:06:47.860 girl's instagram picture is that deep i think obviously if they go ahead and dm them and message

00:06:52.240 them yeah but you can appreciate someone's but you're pretty you're pretty you're pretty in the

00:06:55.860 girl but you can just go through your feet and appreciate someone's beauty couldn't you say

00:06:59.920 couldn't you say the same thing about women that post suggestive instagram pictures while in a 1.00

00:07:03.980 relationship that they're they're looking for attention even if it's just a selfie you know

00:07:07.720 that men are you know what men are you know they're gonna look what if they're in an open

00:07:10.620 relationship we're not talking about open relationships if she's if she's looking at who he's

00:07:15.420 following complete different topics yeah a girl it's just it really it really it's about body and

00:07:21.140 female empowerment at the end of the day look we got all female panels it really just it really just

00:07:26.020 it really just sounds like you want you want to do whatever you want but he can't do whatever he wants

00:07:30.340 yeah excuse me because at the end of the day if you're in a relationship with a man there should

00:07:35.280 be a level of trust there so you just you know that already if he's liking another instagram post

00:07:39.520 it's never that deep because he's not going to speak to that girl it's because the trust isn't

00:07:42.340 there it's because the trust isn't there but you shouldn't be in a relationship with someone you

00:07:45.080 don't trust the trust should be there before you get into something serious with them but what do we

00:07:47.680 think about that happening during a dating like when you're dating like the dating phase

00:07:52.100 you don't think i mean shouldn't shouldn't you go into a relationship in good faith like

00:07:56.600 assuming the best no but let's say you're just dating you're not in a

00:07:59.560 relation but you're about to get into the relationship but then you'd you know i mean

00:08:04.500 i kind of think you're overthinking it way too much yeah i think i mean if you guys are together

00:08:09.320 and it's something serious and then he starts to go and follow loads of girls and then he's

00:08:12.960 moving like that that's a bit different that's different that's a bit different i'm talking in

00:08:16.500 the dating phase where you're getting to know each other and he's still lacking other girls

00:08:19.720 but you're both single so you have the rights to do whatever you want i think

00:08:22.920 unless it becomes something serious if you're single you're going to chat to whoever and they're

00:08:27.880 going to chat to whoever and then if you decide that it's something that is worth trying for

00:08:31.880 then you guys cut off your links or you do whatever yeah yeah yeah

00:08:35.640 no that's fair because relationship would be more based of trust right yeah and then dating is more

00:08:42.240 more promiscuous men or women as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider

00:09:00.240 sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - March 19, 2023

Definition Of A TOXIC Relationship

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