JustPearlyThings - Deluded Modern Says Something Toxic

00:00:00.000 respect a man that you make more money than starting here and then go around

00:00:05.680 and when and just just uh just okay and just to give a little preface

00:00:12.760 that means if he says quit quit your job tomorrow i have a plan that you'd listen

00:00:18.460 go ahead um i wouldn't respect a man that i make more money than um but if i had a man that

00:00:30.000 makes more money than me and is you know well put together um i can see that i can trust his

00:00:37.600 judgment and i know that you know he's got good morals he's um he's got good faith yes if he says

00:00:44.740 stop working that's what i want i want to sit at home i want to paint my toes i want to look cute

00:00:50.320 i want to you know drive a nice car and um have maids and all of that and if he's going to provide 0.94

00:00:57.300 that for me and all i've got to do is pop a couple of utes out see at home why not

00:01:01.120 i don't think that's the typical stay-at-home mom's experience it's a lot of work are you a stay-at-home

00:01:13.260 mom yeah i am i am now is that what your life is like no i wish no i'm talking about you know

00:01:22.600 the the dream the dream yeah the ideal um but if we're talking about you could still be a stay-at-home

00:01:31.300 wife on a more normal salary it just means cutting off like going down if he can if he can pay our 0.97

00:01:37.080 rent and put food on the table and do everything that you know i would be working to provide half

00:01:44.180 of absolutely fine i can do without the maid i can do without you know all of that let me just focus

00:01:51.100 on our home you bring the money in and i'll make our home a home and that way i will be more happier

00:01:56.780 because to be honest you know i am a working woman and i've got a child it's stressful you know that

00:02:03.480 morning rush to get that little four-year-old ready and she don't understand why i'm rushing and she's 1.00

00:02:08.560 you know money money money and i've got a rush i get in the car drop her off i've done a whole shift

00:02:13.880 before i've gone to work and then i've got to deal with people that i work with and then you know

00:02:19.540 hard stop five o'clock i need to stop this meeting i need to rush out so you know to my colleagues

00:02:24.340 you know i might look like you know oh don't put any meetings in her diary after five o'clock because

00:02:29.140 you know she's a single mom and there's that stigma that you've got to deal with so the short answer

00:02:33.920 yeah okay um i think i could i think in reality that i would have to i don't think it would be easy

00:02:45.500 to but i would work at it because i don't like especially with the way it is to live now i would

00:02:53.480 not leave an opportunity to make more money um because my man doesn't but i will always strive

00:03:03.100 to respect him um and leave him to do the providing so essentially if i bought more money into the house

00:03:12.140 that's just more spending money in my opinion i would allow him like i would leave him to his role

00:03:19.080 basically yeah let me ask you this what is it like being a stay-at-home mom

00:03:23.020 well

00:03:25.220 do you know what it's it's fine it's good because to me i like raising my children is my priority

00:03:35.780 and looking after my home is my priority everything else is extra but as long as i can give myself the

00:03:45.480 space to do the extra i'm i'm happier that way if my whole life was just at home with the kids

00:03:55.000 and maintaining my house i don't know how happy i would be only because i had a lifestyle before

00:04:01.180 getting married that i i liked and so i think here i have the best of both worlds but i think

00:04:07.600 and actually i'm confused are you not a stay-at-home mom i just i am a stay-at-home mom but i i i do bits

00:04:14.800 on the side so okay i yeah so um i'm i'm a stepmom coach yeah but my house doesn't depend on the money

00:04:22.720 i make all the money i make it's fun money so you work from home yes i'm i'm yeah i'm always at home

00:04:28.620 yeah unless i come out to to do a speaking gig or something like that yeah so yeah i i would strive

00:04:36.380 to respect but he will always be the provider and i'm okay with that whatever that looks like okay and

00:04:42.980 just like you said also to her you know how you're saying um you can have a man on like a normal wage

00:04:50.180 and still be a stay-at-home mom he doesn't have to be earning thousands that is very true like i

00:04:55.920 essentially what we say in our culture is cut your coat according to your size whatever my husband

00:05:01.360 makes our life i will maintain our life according to what he makes and as long as our necessities

00:05:07.680 are are met there's really there shouldn't be a complaint i like you yeah thank you i like you too

00:05:15.560 um okay so could you respect a man that you make more than yes the answer is yes however i want to

00:05:25.160 see him being ambitious he has to have a plan he has to be someone that gets up no no no that's not

00:05:30.920 that's not the guy you're dating no no that's like that's like the women trying to change men no he's

00:05:37.300 he's making let's say what's whatever the average salary is here 35 000 pounds a year he will always

00:05:43.720 he will always be making 35 000 a year okay this isn't build a man but what kind of person is he

00:05:49.340 the kind of guy that wakes up and plays video games and just he goes he's the kind he goes to work

00:05:54.060 okay and makes 35 000 a year okay comes home sometimes he plays video games sometimes he doesn't

00:06:00.400 the same way you know it's like they we can complain about the video games but how many girls 1.00

00:06:05.220 are on social media for hours we're just as bad no you know what you're right

00:06:09.780 i think i could because i've been in that situation and i've been very happy with

00:06:16.480 that okay why aren't you with him he's in australia oh oh so this was recent yeah

00:06:24.000 okay i don't know what he makes it's none of my business but i know he's not like the richest guy

00:06:29.280 in the world but he's lovely and he actually made me feel safe in every way so how do you know that

00:06:34.060 you earn more than him i don't but if i did i'd be okay with it because he was that wonderful

00:06:39.280 okay okay so yeah sounds like you need to go get your man finish your healing

00:06:46.660 get your man well uh that was the plan not for him though but i would like to see him again 100

00:06:53.200 oh do you think you're healed enough though um wait i'm confused so when was the okay so wasn't

00:07:00.740 the the old guy eight months ago yeah that was in june okay and then when did the australia

00:07:06.580 guy come in literally this month oh oh and he left to australia no i was in australia

00:07:12.800 she went away to australia for six weeks see this is why when men it's like everything the guys say

00:07:18.600 so this is why when guys say like you're healing they just think you're i mean they don't have

00:07:24.140 yeah you're just sleeping with other dudes um no because it wasn't quite like that it took me a

00:07:30.820 long time to even go on a date with someone like it wasn't until i went to australia i even considered

00:07:36.440 that i was just completely right but you told me you were healing earlier in australia yeah and now

00:07:42.440 you're telling me you met the guy in australia it's no it's no hate to you i'm just no it's fine i'm

00:07:46.280 just observing he's a healer that if i'm honest because i said that to him because he was going

00:07:52.920 through his own thing which i won't discuss on here that's his business and i was going through mine

00:07:57.600 and i said to him for whatever reason i walked into your life and you walked into mine because

00:08:02.620 it was an accident you know i was walking down the street oh you met him on the street what happened

00:08:06.960 was i just come back from the gym i was in a bad mood i smell i was covered in sweat i was spotty i

00:08:12.760 was like you know on my period so i was like bloated and i did not look appealing at all and this

00:08:17.800 stunning man walks towards me and when i fancy someone i get shy and i just look down and he starts

00:08:24.840 talking to me and i'm just like in my head i'm like why today why today and then he's like you

00:08:30.220 should smile you know it looks good on you and then we were just talking and um

00:08:35.140 i felt really good around this person he made me feel safe there's something about his energy that

00:08:42.960 just made me feel really good so you were able to trust him it was more i know that sounds wild

00:08:51.920 because even i look back and i think how did i do that to an extent yeah because i said to him

00:08:56.460 what are you doing later let's go out it was me that initiated it and then when he went in to kiss

00:09:02.160 me he said he asked my permission he's this is after the date he said can i kiss you you know he

00:09:07.140 was asking my permission he was respectful of my boundaries he was you know but you know how you

00:09:11.980 said that you were going through your stuff and he was going through his stuff you said that about

00:09:15.660 your ex the one who was obviously dealing with anorexia you said um he his traumas and your

00:09:22.360 traumas like were able to go together and now you're saying basically the same being this guy

00:09:26.740 yeah yeah it's because i'm aware i'm not a perfect person but don't you think that you said you're

00:09:32.360 you're healing right yeah if you're healing and then you're now meeting this guy and you're

00:09:36.820 acknowledging the fact that you're going through your ish he's going through his ish and we've meshed

00:09:41.460 together you're acknowledging the fact that you're entering the same pattern again yeah just because

00:09:45.700 the guy is you know but it's always when you're not looking for someone they just pop up and then

00:09:49.920 you click i can't explain it but but they're not denying what you're saying though you're right but

00:09:54.000 don't don't you think you should just not that you should but i guess what i'm saying is if you want

00:09:59.960 to heal to have a fruitful relationship that's not going to be toxic that's not going to have any of

00:10:06.700 the repeated patterns just have that discipline in yourself and be like actually you know i do really

00:10:12.420 like you as a person but let me get to a place where i know that i'm strong with in who i am i'm

00:10:17.940 not dealing with the same whatever from the last person and bringing that into the new person because

00:10:23.220 all that's going to happen is yeah you're going to be in the same predicament yeah it's just going

00:10:27.080 to be a different story i wouldn't say it's a personal thing on me i'm definitely strong in who i am

00:10:31.400 but you're right i'm definitely not over what happened and i'm i appreciate what you said thank

00:10:37.160 you i just think that any professional healing i don't think self-healing is not healing but how do

00:10:41.300 how i have it sounds like you ran away to australia but you can't run away from yourself

00:10:47.000 yeah you know what that's right that's true because i caught myself crying in a new city about the same 0.99

00:10:52.400 shit 1.00

00:10:52.740 shit 1.00

JustPearlyThings - October 27, 2023

Deluded Modern Says Something Toxic

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