JustPearlyThings - Delusional BIMBO Could Not Handle Reality

00:00:00.000 Coming up next.

00:00:00.920 Everyone has their own preferences.

00:00:02.220 So who you might think is good looking,

00:00:04.220 I might think he's definitely not.

00:00:07.000 Do you think men look at women

00:00:08.220 and say the same thing that beauty comes from within?

00:00:10.960 Men, that's the first thing they look at,

00:00:12.480 beauty, before they look at anything else.

00:00:14.200 The majority of society are shallow.

00:00:16.620 You do look at people and what they look like.

00:00:18.700 I don't have no makeup on now.

00:00:20.380 I'm very much beautiful.

00:00:21.880 I don't need makeup to define my beauty.

00:00:24.180 Why are women more overweight today

00:00:26.020 and we dress up less?

00:00:27.000 Because feminists complain the most about beauty standards,

00:00:30.340 but it just seems like they care the least about them.

00:00:32.680 You don't think men like women that are boss babes?

00:00:34.520 Men don't give a shit about our money.

00:00:36.420 They literally don't care.

00:00:37.500 It's like, I'd rather be with someone

00:00:38.460 I'm not attracted to than not have children.

00:00:40.340 I would feel like my life was like a failure

00:00:41.940 if I didn't have kids.

00:00:43.020 Because if we expect them to be traditional providers,

00:00:45.400 shouldn't we be traditional virgins?

00:00:48.320 Today's topic is that modern women

00:00:51.180 don't care about beauty standards.

00:00:53.540 That's my premise today.

00:00:55.040 So, my first question is

00:00:58.240 what are beauty standards?

00:01:00.540 And then start here, go around,

00:01:01.880 then second row.

00:01:02.500 Go ahead.

00:01:03.680 For me, I think,

00:01:05.360 due to the nature of my job,

00:01:07.280 I do singing,

00:01:08.260 I perform a lot in the public eye.

00:01:11.060 So, I think beauty is important

00:01:13.560 in a way that

00:01:15.180 you need to be confident enough

00:01:17.100 for people to see your talent eventually.

00:01:20.800 I mean, there are different beauty standards.

00:01:22.820 I'm from Italy,

00:01:23.680 so as you probably can imagine,

00:01:26.140 maybe the beauty standards over there

00:01:28.900 are just a little bit different.

00:01:30.380 Who is someone that is the Italian beauty standard?

00:01:32.880 Is there like a celebrity?

00:01:34.400 Yes, celebrities or, you know,

00:01:36.020 people on TV.

00:01:36.520 No, I was just like someone you could think of.

00:01:39.900 Monica Bellucci.

00:01:41.120 Monica, could we put her on the screen?

00:01:43.100 I just want to see what she looks like.

00:01:44.340 Yeah, it's probably a Mediterranean vibe.

00:01:46.400 Monica Bellucci.

00:01:47.580 Yeah, okay.

00:01:48.180 It's an actress.

00:01:48.820 I'm going to look it up here

00:01:49.980 just while he's doing it

00:01:50.960 so I can see.

00:01:51.780 Is she tall, short?

00:01:53.260 She's tall, brown hair.

00:01:57.560 Oh, okay.

00:01:58.160 You know, the typical Mediterranean type of vibe.

00:02:01.080 Yeah, she's beautiful.

00:02:01.840 I don't know if you consider that as beautiful.

00:02:03.740 I think she's beautiful.

00:02:04.720 But I think for,

00:02:08.180 I would lie if I would say like,

00:02:10.340 no, beauty doesn't matter at all.

00:02:12.560 I mean, that's, I think it's a lie

00:02:15.360 to me personally speaking.

00:02:17.220 But at the same time,

00:02:18.260 I wouldn't generalize, you know,

00:02:19.880 for different people,

00:02:20.960 beauty can be different.

00:02:22.420 For me, for example,

00:02:24.080 I try and like to look nice

00:02:25.460 without always being so up there,

00:02:27.940 like showing up like your body all the time.

00:02:30.820 So that can be beautiful

00:02:31.740 because you can, you know,

00:02:33.320 let men guess what's behind.

00:02:36.560 Yeah, you're very,

00:02:37.240 I like your outfit a lot.

00:02:38.340 It's very cute.

00:02:38.920 Thank you.

00:02:39.420 I try, you know,

00:02:40.380 I knew that I was coming here

00:02:42.060 so I was like,

00:02:42.660 I need to be in a decent standard.

00:02:45.640 Do you think that British women,

00:02:47.940 have you been to America too?

00:02:49.180 I'm just curious.

00:02:49.800 Yes, yes.

00:02:50.400 What would you say,

00:02:51.960 who is more put together usually

00:02:53.620 when they go out?

00:02:54.480 American women, British women,

00:02:55.860 or Italian women?

00:02:57.980 Italian women.

00:02:58.580 Yeah, I would guess that.

00:03:00.220 Yes, because, you know,

00:03:01.100 we are, this is why,

00:03:02.440 you know,

00:03:02.760 I say from the beginning

00:03:03.800 I come from a country

00:03:05.400 where like, you know,

00:03:06.680 being nice and looking nice

00:03:08.800 is quite important.

00:03:10.400 But at the same time,

00:03:11.780 I feel like my beauty standards

00:03:13.760 are not necessarily what

00:03:15.440 the modern women,

00:03:16.880 they want to, you know,

00:03:17.500 say like,

00:03:18.080 oh yes, let's put,

00:03:19.100 you know,

00:03:19.320 boobs out,

00:03:19.900 everything out,

00:03:20.540 and that's beautiful,

00:03:21.380 sexy, and provocative.

00:03:22.600 I kind of like,

00:03:24.340 like to people guess more

00:03:26.460 what's behind,

00:03:27.280 you know,

00:03:27.460 the surface.

00:03:28.140 Would you say in Italy

00:03:29.640 that,

00:03:31.840 that like,

00:03:33.600 beauty standards

00:03:34.180 are higher there

00:03:34.900 or lower?

00:03:36.560 I think that are higher

00:03:38.020 in a way.

00:03:38.740 It's more competitive,

00:03:39.740 you'd say?

00:03:40.100 Yes, yes, definitely.

00:03:41.300 Like from TV,

00:03:42.600 you know,

00:03:42.900 anything,

00:03:43.520 you know,

00:03:43.780 you can see

00:03:44.560 if you're not

00:03:45.700 in a certain type of

00:03:46.880 body shape

00:03:47.600 sometimes can be,

00:03:48.520 I mean,

00:03:48.680 it's changing,

00:03:49.420 it's changing,

00:03:50.180 but I feel like

00:03:51.380 that is still

00:03:52.220 quite predominant

00:03:53.300 that like.

00:03:54.440 And what would you say

00:03:55.840 about like,

00:03:57.660 promiscuous clothes?

00:03:58.720 Is that more,

00:03:59.680 I'm just curious

00:04:00.320 because we don't always

00:04:00.960 get people from Italy

00:04:01.760 on the show.

00:04:04.000 So would you say

00:04:04.980 that that's more

00:04:05.780 frowned upon in Italy

00:04:07.540 or is it more open there?

00:04:10.500 It's a warmer.

00:04:11.400 The thing is,

00:04:12.360 you know,

00:04:12.560 with the younger generations

00:04:13.880 it's really changing

00:04:15.020 because they're quite more

00:04:16.420 into this Western world,

00:04:17.880 you know,

00:04:18.040 they're bombarded

00:04:18.620 with social media

00:04:19.480 and images

00:04:19.960 and everyone is trying

00:04:20.920 to impress everyone.

00:04:22.040 So it's changing

00:04:22.700 a little bit.

00:04:23.580 But I would say

00:04:24.340 and,

00:04:25.340 you know,

00:04:25.500 people like myself

00:04:26.320 or,

00:04:26.700 you know,

00:04:26.860 other friends

00:04:27.500 or acquaintances,

00:04:29.320 you know,

00:04:29.620 we like to think

00:04:30.980 that there are also

00:04:31.940 part of women

00:04:32.860 that still like to

00:04:34.100 not impress

00:04:35.420 just,

00:04:35.920 you know,

00:04:36.320 by I'm going to be

00:04:37.780 naked tonight

00:04:38.440 and I'm going to show,

00:04:39.240 you know,

00:04:39.340 how sexy I am.

00:04:40.460 There is sexiness

00:04:41.080 isn't being absolutely

00:04:42.300 fully covered,

00:04:43.240 I believe.

00:04:44.840 Okay.

00:04:45.560 So what do you think?

00:04:48.080 Beauty to me,

00:04:49.140 it's,

00:04:49.520 I feel like it's within

00:04:50.300 to be honest with you.

00:04:51.680 But I'm also

00:04:52.900 half Asian,

00:04:53.820 so in the

00:04:55.640 Bayesian community,

00:04:56.980 beauty is being

00:04:58.700 revealing and

00:05:00.240 like,

00:05:01.080 you're sorry,

00:05:02.300 say that again.

00:05:03.060 Half Bayesian,

00:05:03.540 say Barbados,

00:05:04.420 where the honor's from.

00:05:05.640 Okay.

00:05:06.480 So we usually

00:05:07.980 are quite,

00:05:08.880 you know,

00:05:09.400 revealing

00:05:09.860 and nails done,

00:05:11.820 hair,

00:05:12.520 makeup,

00:05:13.220 sort of thing.

00:05:15.080 But yeah,

00:05:15.800 as I said,

00:05:16.300 beauty to me

00:05:16.820 is within.

00:05:17.940 And you can't tell

00:05:20.000 if one girl's

00:05:20.660 more attractive

00:05:21.140 than the other?

00:05:22.160 It all looks the same?

00:05:26.300 But then that goes

00:05:27.320 by preference.

00:05:28.220 I can say,

00:05:29.240 well,

00:05:29.340 this person looks

00:05:30.100 really good.

00:05:31.260 But then again,

00:05:32.320 this,

00:05:32.620 yeah,

00:05:32.800 it goes by

00:05:33.560 its preference.

00:05:35.420 Like,

00:05:35.760 I might think

00:05:36.600 this person

00:05:37.300 doesn't look so good,

00:05:39.480 where to others,

00:05:40.760 someone else,

00:05:41.360 they might look

00:05:42.240 really good.

00:05:43.460 You don't think

00:05:43.920 there's general

00:05:44.620 beauty at all?

00:05:46.100 Like,

00:05:46.280 you think it's

00:05:46.640 different for every

00:05:47.280 person?

00:05:47.720 Or do you think

00:05:48.260 that in general,

00:05:49.720 we can kind of tell

00:05:50.400 who's the most

00:05:51.060 attractive and

00:05:51.620 who's the least

00:05:52.100 attractive?

00:05:53.580 To society,

00:05:54.640 yeah.

00:05:55.300 To,

00:05:55.620 who's society?

00:05:57.460 To all society.

00:05:59.440 Yeah,

00:05:59.800 but when you say

00:06:00.340 society,

00:06:00.920 like,

00:06:01.080 who is society?

00:06:03.580 Well,

00:06:04.080 people in the UK.

00:06:05.140 Okay,

00:06:05.480 so you would say

00:06:06.320 that people can tell

00:06:07.200 who's more attractive

00:06:07.880 and less attractive?

00:06:10.440 Because,

00:06:10.960 like,

00:06:11.200 that's an exciting,

00:06:12.040 when you say

00:06:12.440 society,

00:06:12.980 it's people,

00:06:13.460 right?

00:06:13.900 Yeah,

00:06:14.300 it's people,

00:06:14.820 it's people in the UK,

00:06:15.520 but I think it's

00:06:16.060 different all over.

00:06:17.040 As I said,

00:06:17.900 like,

00:06:18.160 in Barbados,

00:06:18.800 they would say

00:06:19.480 Rihanna is

00:06:20.720 what you call,

00:06:21.900 you know,

00:06:22.720 beauty,

00:06:23.360 attraction.

00:06:24.800 She's,

00:06:25.160 you know,

00:06:25.480 she's,

00:06:26.060 she's very pretty.

00:06:26.980 I mean,

00:06:27.160 I think they'd say

00:06:27.700 that in America,

00:06:28.380 too.

00:06:28.920 We love Rihanna.

00:06:32.080 She's beautiful

00:06:32.760 everywhere,

00:06:33.440 come on.

00:06:35.320 Yeah,

00:06:35.760 but,

00:06:35.980 you know,

00:06:36.560 like,

00:06:36.780 over here,

00:06:37.400 I do think...

00:06:37.760 Is she not

00:06:38.280 beautiful somewhere?

00:06:40.660 Where's Rihanna

00:06:41.480 not hot?

00:06:42.560 That's true.

00:06:44.900 You know,

00:06:45.480 like,

00:06:45.660 I feel like

00:06:46.140 there's,

00:06:46.420 like,

00:06:46.540 preferences,

00:06:47.220 like,

00:06:47.380 some people,

00:06:48.080 like,

00:06:48.640 might think

00:06:49.640 one celebrity's

00:06:50.400 hotter than the

00:06:51.020 other,

00:06:51.320 but they're all

00:06:51.660 hot.

00:06:52.280 Yeah.

00:06:52.660 You know,

00:06:53.060 unless you're blind,

00:06:54.240 you can tell.

00:06:54.780 So that's why I just

00:06:55.300 never understand

00:06:55.940 what people say.

00:06:56.500 they're all hot.

00:06:57.560 Like,

00:06:57.900 if I look,

00:06:58.420 if I look at

00:06:59.280 Beyonce,

00:06:59.720 I don't think

00:07:00.220 she's in comparison

00:07:00.940 to,

00:07:01.460 you know,

00:07:02.960 to Rihanna.

00:07:03.500 I think Rihanna's

00:07:04.460 more beautiful

00:07:05.620 to me

00:07:06.220 than Beyonce.

00:07:08.020 So...

00:07:08.620 I mean,

00:07:09.760 just being honest,

00:07:11.420 I highly disagree.

00:07:12.460 My opinion.

00:07:14.340 Depends when.

00:07:15.620 I don't know.

00:07:16.280 Because Beyonce's

00:07:17.080 a bit older,

00:07:17.740 isn't she?

00:07:18.560 Yeah,

00:07:18.960 but it doesn't matter

00:07:20.380 about that.

00:07:20.940 I think

00:07:21.380 my preference

00:07:22.520 is Rihanna

00:07:23.620 I have a Beyonce.

00:07:25.180 Okay.

00:07:25.800 What do you think?

00:07:26.640 What are beauty standards?

00:07:28.080 Like she said,

00:07:28.920 it's within you.

00:07:30.060 I'm very big on that.

00:07:31.600 I do not get that.

00:07:32.920 Within?

00:07:33.860 Yeah.

00:07:34.800 Like,

00:07:35.260 we're not blind.

00:07:36.700 We're not blind.

00:07:38.060 No, come on.

00:07:38.460 You could find

00:07:39.020 someone so attractive,

00:07:40.280 but they have

00:07:40.600 the most shittiest

00:07:41.820 personality.

00:07:42.920 Yeah,

00:07:43.160 but I'm just

00:07:43.700 talking physical.

00:07:46.040 Like,

00:07:46.100 okay.

00:07:46.300 They're looking

00:07:46.720 like they're ugly

00:07:47.400 after anyway.

00:07:47.940 Even if Beyonce

00:07:49.300 came in,

00:07:49.820 you might say

00:07:50.220 Rihanna's hotter,

00:07:51.380 but Beyonce's still hot.

00:07:52.520 Nobody can deny

00:07:53.160 that Beyonce's hot.

00:07:54.140 Yeah.

00:07:54.540 Yeah,

00:07:54.780 she's pretty,

00:07:55.620 but like everyone

00:07:56.400 has their own preferences.

00:07:57.380 So who you might think

00:07:58.320 is good looking?

00:07:59.420 I might think

00:07:59.960 he's definitely not.

00:08:02.160 What about men?

00:08:03.840 Do you think men

00:08:04.500 look at women

00:08:05.120 and say the same thing

00:08:06.540 that beauty comes

00:08:07.120 from within?

00:08:10.020 I would like to say so.

00:08:12.900 But I feel like

00:08:13.580 the ones that have

00:08:14.260 been hurt,

00:08:14.980 maybe they start

00:08:15.900 looking at beauty

00:08:16.680 within,

00:08:17.440 maybe.

00:08:18.040 The ones that have

00:08:18.540 been hurt.

00:08:18.980 You know,

00:08:19.700 that's when you

00:08:22.240 start hearing,

00:08:22.800 what is it,

00:08:23.340 what's the saying

00:08:23.780 they say?

00:08:24.360 Beauty beyond the eyes

00:08:25.340 or something like that.

00:08:26.120 They say,

00:08:26.480 right?

00:08:27.020 Yeah,

00:08:27.480 then you start

00:08:27.880 hearing that.

00:08:28.820 But you would say

00:08:29.560 in general,

00:08:30.320 men do look at beauty?

00:08:32.600 To an extent.

00:08:33.640 I definitely,

00:08:35.560 sometimes don't think

00:08:36.460 men look at anything,

00:08:37.440 but,

00:08:37.740 oh,

00:08:38.240 you know,

00:08:39.280 just what they can have.

00:08:42.120 Okay.

00:08:42.480 So when we talk

00:08:43.500 about beauty standards,

00:08:44.360 it's all about,

00:08:45.220 to you,

00:08:45.620 it's all about

00:08:46.020 what comes from within.

00:08:47.360 Yeah.

00:08:47.640 Nothing physical.

00:08:48.380 My background's Indian.

00:08:49.880 So like she picked up,

00:08:51.040 she's Asian.

00:08:52.040 I'm Indian.

00:08:53.140 And we pretty much

00:08:55.280 cover ourselves back home.

00:08:58.140 What does that have to do

00:08:59.240 with the beauty standards?

00:09:00.120 So that comes within

00:09:00.940 because we're not here,

00:09:02.200 we're quite covered up

00:09:03.260 to be fair.

00:09:04.040 So we look at beauty,

00:09:05.540 like they very,

00:09:06.400 well,

00:09:06.520 I'm from a village,

00:09:07.640 so they don't wear makeup.

00:09:11.180 They just literally,

00:09:12.440 my mom's always said

00:09:13.140 this to me.

00:09:13.520 What part of India

00:09:14.080 are you from?

00:09:14.760 Punjab.

00:09:15.760 Where is that?

00:09:17.060 That's like in a border

00:09:18.040 right next to Pakistan.

00:09:19.400 So it's closer

00:09:20.080 to Pakistan side.

00:09:21.220 So I would say South India.

00:09:23.440 Okay.

00:09:23.640 Because I went to Abu Dhabi

00:09:25.360 or not,

00:09:25.740 not,

00:09:25.920 sorry,

00:09:26.340 not Abu Dhabi.

00:09:27.980 Sorry,

00:09:28.400 sorry,

00:09:28.660 Hyderabad.

00:09:29.240 Hyderabad.

00:09:30.040 Where is that?

00:09:31.160 It's in India.

00:09:31.940 Yeah.

00:09:32.300 India's really big.

00:09:33.260 Yeah.

00:09:33.380 I think it's South.

00:09:34.680 I think,

00:09:35.460 I don't know.

00:09:35.780 It was a long time ago.

00:09:36.960 I barely can remember

00:09:38.160 the name,

00:09:38.760 obviously.

00:09:41.020 So it's a bit different

00:09:42.280 because we're from a village

00:09:43.000 and we just like,

00:09:43.880 we,

00:09:44.340 women always do their hair

00:09:46.000 but they're very rarely

00:09:46.740 wear makeup.

00:09:47.580 They're very rarely wear,

00:09:49.820 yeah,

00:09:50.420 anything really.

00:09:51.160 They're just,

00:09:51.620 they're clothes

00:09:51.980 and have their hair done.

00:09:53.160 So that's where

00:09:53.900 my grandparents are from.

00:09:56.200 So when I look at that

00:09:57.180 and I'm like,

00:09:57.700 beauty is from within.

00:09:59.960 So that's what I mean

00:10:01.100 when I say that.

00:10:02.480 What do you think?

00:10:03.280 Beauty standards?

00:10:04.880 I mean,

00:10:05.520 I kind of have to disagree

00:10:06.480 with the ladies to my left

00:10:08.160 because I feel like

00:10:09.300 it's evident.

00:10:10.960 I feel like everybody knows

00:10:12.180 who like a beautiful person is.

00:10:14.740 I feel like if a woman

00:10:15.440 walks in the room,

00:10:17.000 you'll know that

00:10:17.660 a woman will be classified

00:10:18.660 as beautiful

00:10:19.180 if she has her nails done,

00:10:20.280 her hair's done,

00:10:21.320 her eyelashes,

00:10:22.160 her eyebrows,

00:10:22.640 everything is straight,

00:10:23.300 everything is put together.

00:10:24.940 I feel like if another woman

00:10:26.120 was to walk in

00:10:26.700 and she doesn't have that,

00:10:27.600 I don't feel like people

00:10:28.560 won't say she's beautiful.

00:10:30.040 I just feel like people

00:10:30.920 will be more attracted

00:10:31.820 and will look

00:10:32.560 to the woman

00:10:33.920 who has everything done first,

00:10:36.340 initially.

00:10:37.020 Do you get what I mean?

00:10:37.560 And to ask your question

00:10:39.720 about men,

00:10:40.420 I feel like men,

00:10:41.540 that's the first thing

00:10:42.120 they look at beauty

00:10:42.940 before they look at anything else.

00:10:45.560 And yeah,

00:10:46.360 I definitely feel like

00:10:47.420 there is a high beauty standard

00:10:48.760 in the UK.

00:10:50.500 Yeah,

00:10:51.000 that's my opinion.

00:10:52.020 Okay.

00:10:52.540 What do you think?

00:10:53.400 What are beauty standards?

00:10:55.240 For me,

00:10:56.340 I am going to say

00:10:57.900 that it does come from within.

00:10:59.380 However,

00:10:59.800 I'd be lying

00:11:00.600 if I would say

00:11:01.780 that you don't look at beauty.

00:11:03.140 You can tell in the UK

00:11:04.880 who is attractive

00:11:07.200 and who isn't.

00:11:08.360 You just know that.

00:11:09.500 So to say that

00:11:10.460 it comes from within,

00:11:12.040 I think,

00:11:12.580 yeah,

00:11:12.960 that's the general statement

00:11:14.260 for anyone to make

00:11:14.980 because nobody wants

00:11:15.780 to sound like,

00:11:16.500 oh,

00:11:16.660 they're being shallow.

00:11:17.860 But realistically speaking,

00:11:19.980 the majority of society

00:11:21.540 are shallow.

00:11:22.420 You do look at people

00:11:23.460 and what they look like.

00:11:25.220 Yeah.

00:11:25.780 Okay.

00:11:26.080 So you would say

00:11:26.740 it's based on looks?

00:11:28.180 Yeah, it is.

00:11:28.720 What metrics would you use

00:11:30.260 to measure someone's beauty?

00:11:31.360 For me,

00:11:34.720 personally,

00:11:36.600 is it men or women?

00:11:38.540 Women.

00:11:39.240 Women.

00:11:40.420 It would,

00:11:41.020 for me,

00:11:41.540 I look at a woman's,

00:11:42.520 if I can strip back

00:11:43.500 everything in terms of

00:11:44.480 like the makeup,

00:11:45.240 the hair,

00:11:45.820 the nails,

00:11:47.640 and to me,

00:11:48.500 I can see her as beautiful,

00:11:50.200 then she's beautiful.

00:11:51.320 But that's just me,

00:11:52.700 again,

00:11:53.200 my preference.

00:11:53.880 Okay.

00:11:54.780 What do you think,

00:11:55.600 Troy?

00:11:55.720 What are beauty standards?

00:11:57.900 I mean,

00:11:58.260 look,

00:11:58.520 I think it's entirely physical,

00:12:00.420 to be honest.

00:12:01.080 I don't want to sound cynical here,

00:12:02.560 but I think that's what people look at.

00:12:04.400 I think it's nice to say

00:12:05.540 it's from within,

00:12:06.140 and there's,

00:12:06.940 yeah,

00:12:07.220 sure,

00:12:07.540 I mean,

00:12:07.740 there's some truth in that,

00:12:08.620 but I think,

00:12:09.180 let's be real,

00:12:10.780 the dating marketplace,

00:12:12.200 it's kind of a jungle out there,

00:12:13.560 right?

00:12:13.720 What are people looking at?

00:12:14.780 They're looking at the aesthetics,

00:12:16.040 right?

00:12:16.180 They're looking at the surface.

00:12:17.220 Now,

00:12:17.360 that's not to say

00:12:18.260 that you meet somebody

00:12:20.120 and maybe they have

00:12:21.600 a really obnoxious personality

00:12:23.220 and you think,

00:12:24.000 actually,

00:12:24.140 I'm put off from that.

00:12:25.040 Or they've got something about them

00:12:26.480 that's really great

00:12:27.320 and you guys click,

00:12:28.120 and that adds something to it,

00:12:29.520 100%,

00:12:30.060 that's definitely true.

00:12:31.100 But let's be honest,

00:12:32.080 right?

00:12:32.300 It's a surface level thing.

00:12:33.440 There are aesthetic standards

00:12:35.200 and that's what people mean

00:12:37.200 when they're talking about beauty.

00:12:38.200 I don't think the standards

00:12:40.740 are particularly high in the UK,

00:12:42.060 but that's just me though,

00:12:45.600 guys,

00:12:45.820 sorry.

00:12:50.160 For men as well,

00:12:51.940 for men as well,

00:12:52.840 for men as well.

00:12:53.500 If you go to Miami,

00:12:55.000 you get humbled real quick.

00:12:57.560 Well,

00:12:57.980 Miami,

00:12:58.360 but also like Latin America,

00:13:00.320 I mean,

00:13:00.540 Eastern Europe,

00:13:01.160 all those places.

00:13:02.200 Oh,

00:13:02.620 yeah.

00:13:03.100 Yeah,

00:13:03.320 I went to a wedding in Germany.

00:13:05.000 It was like,

00:13:05.900 all the girls were like,

00:13:06.980 literally stunning.

00:13:08.240 Yeah.

00:13:10.100 Okay,

00:13:10.660 what do you think?

00:13:11.280 Yeah,

00:13:11.520 I do agree.

00:13:12.200 I feel like it is based on

00:13:13.880 how a woman looks.

00:13:15.540 I feel like,

00:13:16.940 as she mentioned,

00:13:18.020 if a woman's got her nails done,

00:13:19.600 hair done,

00:13:19.940 you've got yourself together,

00:13:20.680 men do like that.

00:13:22.020 It is,

00:13:22.460 you know,

00:13:22.720 quite obvious as well.

00:13:24.320 A man,

00:13:24.880 especially a regular man in the UK,

00:13:26.540 I don't feel like they would go for just

00:13:28.120 a basic looking woman.

00:13:30.880 Yeah,

00:13:31.120 they would go for a woman who's,

00:13:32.840 you know,

00:13:33.060 got themselves put together,

00:13:34.540 got their nails done,

00:13:35.460 they look good.

00:13:36.660 And,

00:13:37.220 yeah,

00:13:37.340 I don't really agree when they said that it's within.

00:13:40.880 It's just my opinion anyways.

00:13:42.100 I feel like if someone looks good,

00:13:43.980 then that's what attracts,

00:13:45.160 attracts men as well.

00:13:47.300 Yeah.

00:13:47.900 What do you think?

00:13:49.300 I agree to an extent.

00:13:51.300 With who?

00:13:52.160 With these.

00:13:53.980 I definitely feel as though beauty is an attraction.

00:13:59.940 I feel like if someone's attracted to you,

00:14:01.920 they're going to think you're beautiful,

00:14:03.060 regardless.

00:14:03.480 However,

00:14:04.300 I do not agree that just because you're well done up,

00:14:08.820 that then implicates that you're beautiful.

00:14:12.580 You know,

00:14:12.700 I don't have no makeup on now.

00:14:14.700 I'm very much beautiful.

00:14:16.700 I don't need makeup to define my beauty.

00:14:19.140 I think,

00:14:20.840 yeah,

00:14:21.880 I don't need makeup to define my beauty.

00:14:24.200 However,

00:14:25.020 you know,

00:14:25.600 I do definitely feel like you have to be attracted to someone in order for you to think that they are beautiful.

00:14:32.580 Do you guys think that beauty standards are higher,

00:14:37.280 were higher 100 years ago or today?

00:14:39.820 Today.

00:14:40.280 Definitely today.

00:14:42.180 Definitely today.

00:14:43.040 Is there anyone that thinks they were higher 100 years ago?

00:14:45.300 Anyone?

00:14:45.840 No,

00:14:46.040 because if you look back at old black and white photographs from the Victorian era,

00:14:49.160 and then you look at,

00:14:49.840 you just do a scroll through Instagram now.

00:14:51.460 I mean,

00:14:51.840 I mean,

00:14:52.140 like it's night and day in terms of,

00:14:53.460 in terms of hotness.

00:14:54.200 And I think that's down to a number of things.

00:14:55.500 It's like to do with nutrition.

00:14:57.240 It's to do with fitness.

00:14:57.940 It's to do with the fact that we're all encouraged to work out now.

00:15:01.920 Makeup,

00:15:02.420 you know,

00:15:02.640 clothing.

00:15:03.020 There's so many different things,

00:15:04.380 bits of surgery and procedures and stuff.

00:15:07.140 I mean,

00:15:07.260 there's so many different things that come into it.

00:15:08.760 So I think,

00:15:09.160 yeah,

00:15:09.340 definitely overall,

00:15:10.760 you know,

00:15:11.560 people are more aesthetically pleasing now.

00:15:14.080 It was probably only the rich people that were super hot back in the.

00:15:16.720 That's what I was going to say.

00:15:17.900 I was going to say,

00:15:18.480 I feel like things are more accessible now.

00:15:21.180 So makeup,

00:15:22.380 like it's,

00:15:23.380 you know,

00:15:23.780 less,

00:15:24.140 I don't know about pricing,

00:15:25.460 but I feel like surgery is more accessible to people and stuff like that.

00:15:28.560 And I feel like that's probably why the standards are a little bit higher.

00:15:31.920 Yeah.

00:15:32.320 Do women respond when beauty standards go higher?

00:15:35.900 Do you think that women,

00:15:36.640 like do you feel like we like step up to the plate?

00:15:39.160 Yeah.

00:15:39.700 Yeah.

00:15:40.140 And how,

00:15:40.780 how do we respond typically?

00:15:43.400 We follow the trend.

00:15:45.000 Yeah.

00:15:47.420 We follow the trend.

00:15:48.960 What trends?

00:15:50.060 So like the BBL trend that's happening at the moment.

00:15:52.560 I feel like it's going down now,

00:15:53.820 but yeah,

00:15:54.740 I guess we just follow the trend.

00:15:55.960 Like what else is it like?

00:15:57.580 Makeup.

00:15:58.700 Makeup.

00:15:59.180 Highlight,

00:15:59.700 contour and stuff.

00:16:00.540 Lip fillers.

00:16:01.480 Lip fillers.

00:16:01.920 That's the biggest one now.

00:16:02.980 Yeah.

00:16:03.200 I disagree a little bit because I don't follow like all the latest trend all the

00:16:07.800 time.

00:16:08.240 Sometimes it's overwhelming to me.

00:16:10.020 So I try to do what is best for me.

00:16:13.220 And obviously we live in this society where social media is like,

00:16:17.200 and it's everything.

00:16:18.360 So everyone is bombarded with all these images,

00:16:20.980 but it doesn't mean that I'm going to follow any single trend is up there

00:16:23.860 because it's overwhelming to me.

00:16:25.480 So does beauty standards include weight?

00:16:29.540 Yes.

00:16:29.980 To an extent,

00:16:30.520 I think.

00:16:30.920 Yeah.

00:16:31.260 Yeah.

00:16:33.120 Does anyone think it doesn't?

00:16:34.460 Yeah.

00:16:34.720 I don't think so anymore.

00:16:35.960 I don't,

00:16:36.700 I don't think so anymore.

00:16:37.660 I feel like,

00:16:38.860 I feel like all shapes and sizes right now,

00:16:41.520 I might be wrong,

00:16:42.540 are accepted.

00:16:43.580 So I just feel like for me personally,

00:16:46.340 it's based on how well,

00:16:47.800 how well you keep yourself and how put together you look,

00:16:50.360 not about your size.

00:16:51.120 That's just me personally.

00:16:51.920 Do you think men think the same thing?

00:16:53.500 Yeah.

00:16:54.280 I actually think so.

00:16:56.320 I actually do.

00:16:58.180 I don't know.

00:16:59.080 I think it depends.

00:17:00.240 Yeah.

00:17:00.680 It depends.

00:17:00.960 Yeah.

00:17:01.540 No,

00:17:02.000 but in general,

00:17:02.700 so we could talk about in general,

00:17:04.820 would you say men care or they don't care about weight?

00:17:07.080 I think they do care.

00:17:08.100 Hence why girls are out here doing BBL.

00:17:10.220 I think it depends on preference.

00:17:12.540 Is BBL the bum thing?

00:17:14.140 Yeah.

00:17:14.680 Oh,

00:17:14.880 right.

00:17:15.140 Yeah.

00:17:15.640 Yeah.

00:17:16.300 So Brazilian sport lift,

00:17:17.680 yes.

00:17:18.240 Yeah.

00:17:19.500 Do you think women are more put together today than a hundred years ago?

00:17:23.100 Definitely.

00:17:24.080 Definitely.

00:17:26.100 Yeah.

00:17:28.440 You look at some of these old pictures though,

00:17:30.380 seriously,

00:17:30.880 like these dusty old like photographs sometimes you see,

00:17:34.160 I mean,

00:17:34.340 they're not looking good.

00:17:35.280 You know,

00:17:35.580 the ladies weren't representing back then.

00:17:38.060 Do you know what I mean?

00:17:38.460 But then back then,

00:17:39.280 it might have been a thing.

00:17:40.220 That's how they were meant to look.

00:17:41.780 It's true.

00:17:42.540 It's true.

00:17:42.960 Yeah.

00:17:43.660 Those days were like,

00:17:44.640 oh yeah,

00:17:44.940 they're beautiful.

00:17:45.880 Yeah.

00:17:46.400 Yeah.

00:17:46.580 It's true.

00:17:47.300 It's true.

00:17:47.940 Look at them now,

00:17:48.800 but back then,

00:17:49.920 yeah.

00:17:50.340 She was hot.

00:17:50.840 Yeah.

00:17:51.680 It was more natural though back in the days.

00:17:54.940 It was like,

00:17:55.480 you know,

00:17:55.800 beauty is like today.

00:17:57.020 It's like,

00:17:57.260 oh,

00:17:57.460 you need to be the perfect,

00:17:58.460 the perfect maker.

00:17:59.040 And I don't think they cared much as well.

00:18:00.640 But don't you think,

00:18:01.400 the one thing I've observed like here and also in the States a little bit as well,

00:18:04.740 is that a lot of,

00:18:06.100 there seems to be this fashion now for women wearing quite baggy clothes.

00:18:09.740 Have you noticed like if you go to a shopping mall or something like that during the daytime,

00:18:12.980 a lot of the women are wearing like quite baggy jeans,

00:18:14.960 quite baggy and maybe less makeup and stuff,

00:18:17.140 which sort of goes counter to that Instagram thing in a way,

00:18:20.500 doesn't it?

00:18:20.860 Because I think just looking around the streets,

00:18:22.840 I think a lot of women are dressing up sort of a bit less,

00:18:25.580 certainly during the daytime.

00:18:26.900 Here,

00:18:27.660 but then if you go to say Poland or if you go to Ukraine or something prior to the,

00:18:33.020 you know,

00:18:33.360 the war,

00:18:33.880 you would see a very different sort of story.

00:18:36.420 So I think in the West,

00:18:37.200 it feels like,

00:18:37.960 I don't want to say standards are falling,

00:18:40.680 but it seems like a more casualness is sort of accepted into the women.

00:18:44.100 Because I see more yoga pants and sweat.

00:18:46.100 I would say I see more yoga pants and sweats than I did like 10 years ago,

00:18:50.620 let's say when I was 26,

00:18:52.240 when I was 16,

00:18:53.480 you know,

00:18:53.660 it was like,

00:18:54.440 I don't know,

00:18:55.160 because you guys are different.

00:18:56.420 About yoga pants a little bit,

00:18:57.840 but in the U S they're like super common,

00:18:59.620 but I remember it was like a fight on Facebook about if yoga pants were acceptable in public.

00:19:05.620 I don't know if you guys have that here,

00:19:07.040 if that was just an American fight.

00:19:09.900 I was in,

00:19:10.600 I was in LA recently and I saw there was a lot of yoga pants going on down in sort of,

00:19:14.480 um,

00:19:15.160 Venice and Venice beach and like places like that.

00:19:18.060 Yeah.

00:19:18.200 So my question is if beauty standards are higher and women respond to beauty standards,

00:19:22.620 why are women more overweight today?

00:19:24.460 And we dress up less.

00:19:25.440 Is that a stats that you have by any chance?

00:19:30.360 Yeah.

00:19:30.620 And the 19,

00:19:31.140 and the 19,

00:19:31.820 and the 19,

00:19:32.400 and the 19,

00:19:33.320 I mean,

00:19:33.580 there's no stat on dressing up.

00:19:35.140 That's just anecdotal.

00:19:36.460 Um,

00:19:36.780 but when it comes to weight,

00:19:37.520 only 10% of women were overweight in the forties.

00:19:39.680 We're 60% of women in the UK are overweight.

00:19:42.420 70% in America.

00:19:43.540 You got to remember back in the olden days,

00:19:45.760 they had this thing where they used to wear corsets in order to line their bodies.

00:19:49.660 So they had this,

00:19:51.400 that was their trend,

00:19:52.640 you know,

00:19:53.020 that isn't the trend here.

00:19:54.720 So you got to understand that as times,

00:19:56.700 as society changes,

00:19:58.300 so does the trends,

00:19:59.100 I guess.

00:20:00.260 Yeah.

00:20:00.680 But my question is more like if women respond to beauty standards and women actually cared

00:20:04.600 about beauty standards,

00:20:05.480 like why are we more overweight and we dress up less?

00:20:08.220 Because of the food that we eat.

00:20:10.400 Right.

00:20:10.820 But that kind of indicates that we don't care as much as we say we do.

00:20:13.920 Like,

00:20:14.300 cause we're,

00:20:14.580 we're supposed to be under this immense pressure,

00:20:16.520 right?

00:20:16.880 From society,

00:20:17.520 but it doesn't seem like our looks are getting better as a whole.

00:20:21.400 I think again,

00:20:22.220 if you compare other societies,

00:20:23.480 cause like before the,

00:20:24.460 you know,

00:20:24.680 the current,

00:20:24.940 in the West,

00:20:25.480 sorry,

00:20:25.860 in the West.

00:20:26.220 But just,

00:20:26.660 just as a counterpoint though.

00:20:28.520 So when like in 2021,

00:20:30.700 I was in,

00:20:31.360 spent quite a lot of time in,

00:20:32.300 in,

00:20:32.440 in Russia and then,

00:20:33.600 and then also in Ukraine prior to what's happening now.

00:20:36.000 And,

00:20:36.440 um,

00:20:37.040 it is a very different story though.

00:20:38.180 You do get a lot of women who are very elegant.

00:20:39.660 They're still wearing,

00:20:40.840 you know,

00:20:41.680 maybe peels slightly less,

00:20:43.920 during the daytime,

00:20:44.480 but you know what I mean?

00:20:45.160 Very,

00:20:45.420 very elegant wearing dresses all the time,

00:20:46.800 but very,

00:20:47.180 very feminine in a way that you don't see so much here.

00:20:51.740 And I think that's got something to do with feminism,

00:20:56.360 to be honest,

00:20:57.020 or at least the,

00:20:57.860 the tide of,

00:20:59.700 cause society is telling women you,

00:21:01.020 you don't have to make,

00:21:02.060 why you don't have to make an effort for,

00:21:04.560 it sounds very crude,

00:21:05.520 but you don't have to make an effort for men,

00:21:06.880 right?

00:21:07.040 Because why should you,

00:21:08.040 right?

00:21:08.240 Because you are,

00:21:09.140 you're enough in yourself.

00:21:10.240 Okay.

00:21:11.260 Um,

00:21:11.940 and,

00:21:12.200 and I think that's got something to do with it.

00:21:13.800 To be,

00:21:14.040 to be honest,

00:21:14.800 you know,

00:21:15.000 I don't think society is,

00:21:16.620 and I'm not saying society should be compelling women to do that,

00:21:19.360 but I don't think it is.

00:21:20.640 Whereas I think in some of those other countries that are arguably a little bit more patriarchal,

00:21:24.860 let's say,

00:21:25.620 um,

00:21:26.140 there is still that pressure.

00:21:27.520 And so women are dressing up more.

00:21:28.800 And also they have to compete with one another because otherwise if you're the,

00:21:31.880 the girl who's,

00:21:32.960 you know,

00:21:33.160 just,

00:21:33.440 just not,

00:21:33.940 not bothering and everyone else is,

00:21:35.260 then you're going to kind of get left to the side,

00:21:37.160 aren't you?

00:21:38.020 So,

00:21:38.320 yeah,

00:21:38.440 I think it just actually,

00:21:39.700 you know,

00:21:39.920 you raised a very good point because feminism,

00:21:42.100 you know,

00:21:42.720 with feminism,

00:21:43.660 women's like,

00:21:44.240 Oh,

00:21:44.500 I can do whatever I want when I want,

00:21:46.880 how I want.

00:21:47.480 So like,

00:21:47.960 you know,

00:21:48.180 I can underdress myself.

00:21:50.100 No one should judge me for that.

00:21:51.600 And I think that it's a little bit too much,

00:21:53.460 but it's interesting because feminists complain the most about beauty standards,

00:21:56.900 but it just seems like they care the least about them.

00:22:00.300 Well,

00:22:01.120 there wouldn't there have you just be like,

00:22:03.160 well,

00:22:03.340 I don't have to bother because why would I let a man dictate how I look?

00:22:07.540 Yeah,

00:22:07.840 but that's not,

00:22:09.480 yeah,

00:22:09.720 we could,

00:22:09.980 they'll say,

00:22:10.380 they'll say,

00:22:10.660 Oh,

00:22:10.940 women have such high beauty standards.

00:22:12.740 It's so hard for women because of the beauty standards,

00:22:15.260 Instagram.

00:22:16.200 And you know,

00:22:16.660 well,

00:22:16.760 I can sympathize.

00:22:17.580 It's like,

00:22:17.840 if we really cared,

00:22:19.240 wouldn't we be more put together and way less?

00:22:23.940 I agree with this point.

00:22:25.120 I think it's because there's a lot of activists now and feminism and they're trying to prove that.

00:22:30.160 They feel like all women do what they do for men.

00:22:33.960 Some people do things for themselves.

00:22:36.300 Yeah.

00:22:36.520 But because there's that lining of doing things for men,

00:22:40.100 a lot of feminist feminisms now are like,

00:22:43.560 they don't want to do it just because they feel like it's doing it for a man.

00:22:48.180 Is it even such a bad thing?

00:22:49.440 Even if they were doing it for men though?

00:22:50.620 Cause like you get guys,

00:22:51.440 you know,

00:22:52.080 get guys who work out cause they want to look ripped for women.

00:22:56.060 Yeah.

00:22:56.600 So yeah,

00:22:58.240 it wouldn't be the terrible to be honest.

00:23:00.320 Yeah.

00:23:00.540 It's like everyone wants to be liked in a way.

00:23:02.580 Yeah.

00:23:02.940 It's like,

00:23:03.180 if you know,

00:23:03.960 if you like someone and you want to,

00:23:05.640 you know,

00:23:05.840 wear something and you think it's black.

00:23:07.780 I'm wearing this just,

00:23:10.560 you know,

00:23:10.740 you want to feel good,

00:23:11.540 but you also,

00:23:12.280 you know,

00:23:12.480 want to be nice for other people.

00:23:14.800 Yeah.

00:23:15.120 I think.

00:23:17.220 Whose beauty standards are higher,

00:23:19.240 men or women?

00:23:24.240 I think it depends.

00:23:26.600 Okay.

00:23:27.220 I want to make a rule.

00:23:29.180 No,

00:23:29.560 it depends.

00:23:31.240 You have to pick one.

00:23:32.820 Pick one.

00:23:34.460 Pick one and tell me why.

00:23:36.020 I think maybe men have higher beauty standards.

00:23:41.500 I think.

00:23:42.140 Okay.

00:23:42.540 Why?

00:23:42.800 Because they see a lot of women and they now begin to compare,

00:23:46.940 make comparisons between different types of women.

00:23:48.740 And it's like,

00:23:49.220 when they see a particular woman look in a particular way,

00:23:52.940 is they would compare another woman to the woman that they've seen.

00:23:56.620 But you think that men have higher standards for women,

00:23:59.360 not that the men have the higher standards they have to live up to,

00:24:01.960 just to clarify.

00:24:02.980 I think men have higher standards for women.

00:24:04.920 for women.

00:24:05.500 So like the women have higher beauty standards to me.

00:24:07.680 Yes.

00:24:08.480 And that's,

00:24:09.240 what's making women feel like they need to comply with these standards.

00:24:14.360 Who's pickier men or women?

00:24:17.040 Men.

00:24:18.020 Definitely.

00:24:18.780 Yeah.

00:24:20.180 What,

00:24:20.660 what percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps?

00:24:24.760 When does,

00:24:25.460 what,

00:24:25.700 sorry?

00:24:25.860 What percent?

00:24:26.460 Yeah.

00:24:26.600 What percent of the time?

00:24:27.860 Probably 70%.

00:24:28.840 What percent of the time do you think women swipe right on dating apps?

00:24:35.260 I think about the same.

00:24:36.540 Do you know what?

00:24:36.920 70%.

00:24:37.880 I think women,

00:24:38.640 women are more complacent than men.

00:24:41.600 Or more complacent.

00:24:42.660 Yeah.

00:24:42.960 I think they accept more than men.

00:24:44.320 Do you think men are very like,

00:24:45.340 if they've,

00:24:46.000 they've got a certain standard and they're more rigid than women.

00:24:49.720 You think men are pickier than women?

00:24:51.180 A hundred percent.

00:24:51.600 Certainly.

00:24:52.220 Yeah.

00:24:52.560 Okay.

00:24:52.780 What percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps?

00:24:56.920 70.

00:24:57.880 Or even 80.

00:24:58.720 I think it's a high percentage of 70.

00:25:00.080 It's really high.

00:25:01.100 I think it's a low percentage.

00:25:02.920 That men's,

00:25:03.480 so men swipe right 60 to 70% of the time where women,

00:25:07.960 what percent of the time do you think they swipe right?

00:25:10.080 Oh wait,

00:25:10.280 no,

00:25:10.460 sorry.

00:25:10.760 I think it's 45%.

00:25:11.780 I'm sorry.

00:25:12.460 I misspoke.

00:25:13.040 That's,

00:25:13.280 it's about 45 to 50,

00:25:14.640 not 60.

00:25:14.980 For men.

00:25:15.260 Yeah.

00:25:15.460 For men.

00:25:16.420 What percent of the time do you think women swipe right?

00:25:18.920 Probably like 20.

00:25:19.460 Much less.

00:25:20.380 Yeah.

00:25:20.660 I would say like 10%.

00:25:22.000 70 to 80?

00:25:23.020 Maybe 30?

00:25:24.060 I don't know.

00:25:24.720 I want to say 70 to 80.

00:25:26.380 What do you think?

00:25:26.900 Do you know this?

00:25:27.460 You have to know this stat.

00:25:28.900 Well,

00:25:29.040 it is around that,

00:25:29.720 isn't it?

00:25:29.940 Is it about 20%?

00:25:31.860 5%.

00:25:32.260 5%.

00:25:32.300 5%.

00:25:33.180 Yeah.

00:25:34.820 I was actually,

00:25:35.880 I thought the male one was actually going to be a bit higher,

00:25:38.180 to be honest,

00:25:38.880 because a lot of guys,

00:25:40.160 well,

00:25:40.320 not a lot of guys,

00:25:40.900 but guys have sometimes have this strategy before the algorithm started clamping down

00:25:44.360 that they would just swipe on everything and then see what came through,

00:25:47.420 you know?

00:25:47.580 It depends what study you look at.

00:25:49.380 Yeah.

00:25:49.440 But how could you say that men are pickier if women only swipe right 5% of the time?

00:25:55.080 Do you know why?

00:25:55.660 Because they're talking about the top 1% men, aren't they?

00:25:58.600 Yeah.

00:25:58.840 Those top 1% men,

00:25:59.940 those chads,

00:26:01.060 they're really picky,

00:26:02.200 but that's all they're bothered about.

00:26:03.280 They're not bothered about the other guys who aren't getting a look at anyway.

00:26:05.380 Yeah.

00:26:05.680 The top 5% of men,

00:26:07.640 10.

00:26:08.060 What,

00:26:08.300 what percent of men do you guys think are sexually active?

00:26:11.460 100%.

00:26:12.180 Not with themselves.

00:26:15.160 I feel like it's not that much of a high percentage.

00:26:19.680 I feel like it's lower than women's,

00:26:21.320 isn't it?

00:26:22.100 Yeah.

00:26:22.560 I don't know the percentage though,

00:26:23.580 but I feel like it's lower than women's.

00:26:24.820 Yeah.

00:26:25.020 What percent of men do you think are sexually active?

00:26:27.520 70.

00:26:28.480 70%.

00:26:28.920 40%.

00:26:29.800 40%.

00:26:30.680 I'd say about 60.

00:26:33.080 I would want to say 102.

00:26:34.860 But I'm going to say 60.

00:26:36.800 60, yeah.

00:26:37.700 Me too.

00:26:39.180 Troy, do you know the stat?

00:26:40.860 How many men are sexually active?

00:26:43.580 God, I'm being very bad manners for your person, aren't I?

00:26:45.620 It's low.

00:26:46.280 It's low though.

00:26:46.800 Yeah.

00:26:47.120 I'm curious what,

00:26:48.540 can you tell them a little bit about your experience,

00:26:50.480 like coaching men in dating?

00:26:53.440 Yeah.

00:26:53.920 I mean,

00:26:54.120 so I coach guys,

00:26:55.640 I mean,

00:26:55.820 I create content,

00:26:56.760 I write,

00:26:57.060 but I coach guys to get...

00:26:59.800 traction in terms of dating.

00:27:01.500 And the dating marketplace is very tough out there now,

00:27:04.180 for everybody.

00:27:04.960 But, you know,

00:27:05.540 a lot of guys,

00:27:07.200 they just really don't get a look at,

00:27:08.900 you know?

00:27:09.280 And I think there is this misconception.

00:27:10.780 A lot of women think,

00:27:12.380 oh,

00:27:12.780 men are just,

00:27:14.240 you know,

00:27:14.640 that it comes as easily to men as it does to women.

00:27:18.060 And it really doesn't,

00:27:19.020 you know?

00:27:19.220 Because a woman basically,

00:27:20.620 unless she's irredeemably unattractive for some reason,

00:27:24.360 can pretty much go out and probably attract somebody that night.

00:27:28.080 You know,

00:27:28.260 there's not a problem.

00:27:29.100 With guys,

00:27:29.700 that's not necessarily the case,

00:27:31.320 unless they happen to be either,

00:27:32.780 you know,

00:27:33.060 top whatever percentile in terms of looks,

00:27:34.920 or they have social status or they're famous,

00:27:36.760 you know?

00:27:37.280 So a lot of guys,

00:27:37.900 and a lot of guys sort of who fall below that,

00:27:40.200 find it very,

00:27:40.900 very hard to break through.

00:27:42.100 And then when you add on top of that,

00:27:44.420 a sort of a lack of social skills or a lack of confidence,

00:27:46.480 a lack of ability to sort of overcome some of the other difficulties they might have,

00:27:51.260 you know,

00:27:51.420 there are guys who are really,

00:27:53.580 really finding it very tough.

00:27:54.560 And we seem to be coming into this environment now where the,

00:27:57.940 you know,

00:27:58.280 the rich get richer,

00:27:58.940 the poor get poorer in terms of dating.

00:28:00.500 So the guys who are at the top who are getting traction,

00:28:03.700 they're,

00:28:04.000 they're getting more and more market share,

00:28:06.120 if you like.

00:28:06.940 And then the guys at the bottom are getting less and less.

00:28:08.520 And that's why we've got this issue with guys who are frustrated.

00:28:11.980 And there's,

00:28:12.620 you know,

00:28:12.860 there's sort of the insult thing online and everything like that,

00:28:15.700 you know?

00:28:16.200 So I think it's pretty tough out there for,

00:28:18.380 for a lot of average sort of dudes,

00:28:19.740 I think.

00:28:21.300 Yeah.

00:28:22.320 One out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.

00:28:26.500 Oh,

00:28:26.920 wow.

00:28:28.000 So,

00:28:28.400 so in here.

00:28:29.020 But so it's,

00:28:42.560 it's funny because a lot of girls like think that men are pickier than women,

00:28:45.580 but it's actually the opposite.

00:28:46.780 Women are much pickier than men.

00:28:48.540 I mean,

00:28:48.740 think about out of every 10 men,

00:28:49.920 how many are you really attracted to?

00:28:52.140 Who is anyone here?

00:28:53.300 Would you,

00:28:53.600 anyone here say that they're not picky?

00:28:56.600 I'm picky.

00:28:57.080 I'm definitely picky.

00:28:58.740 I think I've become picky over time.

00:29:01.220 Yeah.

00:29:02.480 So then wouldn't you say that men have higher beauty standards they have to live up to?

00:29:08.560 Haven't you heard women say they won't date short men?

00:29:11.060 Would any of you date a guy shorter than them?

00:29:13.380 No.

00:29:14.280 I feel like I'm not quite short as it is.

00:29:16.600 So if I feel like they're me,

00:29:17.680 they're not.

00:29:17.960 So two inches shorter than you,

00:29:19.620 any of you doing it?

00:29:20.540 No.

00:29:21.360 And I like to wear heels.

00:29:22.540 It's not going to work out.

00:29:23.320 Yeah.

00:29:23.780 Yeah.

00:29:24.120 Exactly.

00:29:24.760 It's not working out.

00:29:27.080 So I think it is tougher for guys.

00:29:30.340 I think looks wise,

00:29:31.040 it has got tougher for guys.

00:29:32.180 And I think,

00:29:32.580 you know,

00:29:32.840 maybe you could say,

00:29:33.860 well,

00:29:34.240 we've had it coming because the guys were sort of like for a long time,

00:29:37.240 the looks focus was very much on women.

00:29:40.540 But I think now very much on guys,

00:29:43.120 really,

00:29:43.640 you know,

00:29:44.000 again,

00:29:44.860 look through Instagram,

00:29:45.960 dudes with six packs,

00:29:47.720 chiseled,

00:29:48.180 you know,

00:29:48.480 features,

00:29:48.840 all the rest of it.

00:29:50.820 And the way that social media has,

00:29:52.800 has worked and the way that the dating apps has worked has meant that women are now

00:29:56.040 looking at these apps and they're looking at all these like top guys,

00:29:58.560 you know,

00:29:58.760 top percentile guys are like,

00:29:59.820 oh,

00:29:59.980 that guy's super hot.

00:30:01.140 And then the bloke who doesn't have those attributes doesn't measure up.

00:30:04.760 So she's thinking,

00:30:05.580 well,

00:30:05.640 I want,

00:30:06.000 I want this guy at the top.

00:30:06.980 So,

00:30:07.120 so now guys being encouraged to level up,

00:30:09.060 you know,

00:30:09.500 which is not all together a bad thing,

00:30:12.800 right?

00:30:12.940 Because self-improvement is good for everybody.

00:30:14.360 You know,

00:30:14.640 we should all be doing what we can do to improve ourselves every day.

00:30:17.280 Right.

00:30:17.460 But at the same time,

00:30:18.280 I think it is,

00:30:18.940 it has got tougher for guys.

00:30:20.480 And then in a society like here,

00:30:22.100 like in the UK,

00:30:22.700 there's a lot of guys who are very thirsty and they,

00:30:27.000 you know,

00:30:27.600 and they will,

00:30:28.740 they,

00:30:29.000 they will drop their standards,

00:30:30.460 you know?

00:30:31.540 Yeah.

00:30:32.100 Yeah.

00:30:33.740 Sad.

00:30:35.080 How,

00:30:35.780 so do you ever teach guys to like cold approach women?

00:30:39.140 Yeah,

00:30:39.340 absolutely.

00:30:39.900 Yeah.

00:30:40.260 Yeah.

00:30:40.520 And what percent of women are receptive?

00:30:42.980 Would you say to,

00:30:44.420 I mean,

00:30:44.640 like you've been doing this forever,

00:30:46.320 right?

00:30:46.460 Yeah.

00:30:46.860 But there's someone that has it.

00:30:49.860 Like he has to go through how many girls to get a number.

00:30:53.020 It depends.

00:30:54.820 Usual caveats.

00:30:55.600 It depends where it is.

00:30:56.440 You know,

00:30:56.620 there are certain places,

00:30:57.300 like if you're in like Latin America,

00:30:58.940 it's a lot more people are maybe Italy as well.

00:31:01.040 Actually,

00:31:01.280 I don't know.

00:31:02.200 I don't,

00:31:02.440 I maybe not,

00:31:03.080 but you know,

00:31:03.480 Latin culture is a bit more like open.

00:31:05.240 Yeah.

00:31:05.520 They play the card,

00:31:06.360 like,

00:31:06.640 you know,

00:31:06.940 Latin lover.

00:31:07.800 Yeah.

00:31:08.060 But I don't know.

00:31:08.660 I think it's difficult though.

00:31:09.980 Like,

00:31:10.700 but,

00:31:11.180 but to want,

00:31:12.020 yeah,

00:31:12.260 yeah,

00:31:12.540 it is.

00:31:13.100 But to answer the question,

00:31:14.640 you have to be prepared to go through a lot of rejection,

00:31:17.380 you know,

00:31:17.740 like if you're an average guy and you're,

00:31:19.560 you're going to talk to a woman in a coffee shop or,

00:31:22.800 you know,

00:31:23.140 a bar or bookstore or the grocery store,

00:31:25.680 whatever it is,

00:31:26.600 you know,

00:31:26.820 you are going to go through,

00:31:27.600 through rejection.

00:31:29.480 In fact,

00:31:30.100 rejection is,

00:31:30.880 is the rule and the exception really is to get,

00:31:33.880 is to get accepted,

00:31:34.960 but that's okay.

00:31:36.080 You know,

00:31:36.660 it's a question of accepting that,

00:31:38.100 being okay with that,

00:31:39.040 being confident and working on yourself every day in order to be the best

00:31:41.900 possible man that you can be.

00:31:44.640 But yeah,

00:31:45.060 a lot of rejection for sure for people.

00:31:47.940 I was going to say,

00:31:48.820 well,

00:31:48.980 at least a man has options.

00:31:50.260 I feel like women,

00:31:51.100 we are,

00:31:51.540 our options are very,

00:31:52.400 very limited.

00:31:53.300 So even if,

00:31:54.200 even if a man's getting rejected,

00:31:55.600 at least he knows,

00:31:56.240 okay,

00:31:56.400 fine,

00:31:56.720 I can find another woman who is maybe like a woman that I'm interested in.

00:32:00.040 But for a woman,

00:32:00.820 it's very,

00:32:02.400 very difficult.

00:32:02.800 I feel like the options for men are very,

00:32:04.220 very low.

00:32:04.640 It's not difficult.

00:32:05.580 You just go outside.

00:32:10.100 It's true,

00:32:10.800 but it's like,

00:32:11.380 for me,

00:32:11.820 it's not going to be a guy that I want.

00:32:14.440 But whose fault is that?

00:32:16.420 Isn't that your own fault?

00:32:17.140 Because that's your standard.

00:32:17.760 It's definitely not my fault.

00:32:18.500 I'm not selling it for anybody that I'm not attracted to,

00:32:20.980 or I don't want.

00:32:21.500 Absolutely.

00:32:22.160 I agree.

00:32:22.860 We need better options.

00:32:24.160 So yeah,

00:32:24.560 I think you should keep coaching men to level up.

00:32:25.860 The men need to level up.

00:32:27.060 But then,

00:32:27.320 don't you think the women need to level up?

00:32:29.260 I mean,

00:32:29.560 how many women are leveling up?

00:32:30.600 I'm leveled.

00:32:33.520 What percent of women have cookbooks?

00:32:35.280 What percent of women are homemakers?

00:32:36.640 What percent of women really work with kids and can be good mothers?

00:32:40.220 But there's percentage,

00:32:41.600 but you just have to find your percentage.

00:32:44.480 Go ahead.

00:32:45.120 You just have to find your percentage.

00:32:47.160 You have to find your percentage?

00:32:48.400 You have to find it.

00:32:49.100 There's women out there.

00:32:50.080 You just have to find.

00:32:51.100 Yeah,

00:32:51.340 but is it common?

00:32:52.740 But that's for a certain type of man.

00:32:54.160 There are some men that like boss babes who have businesses.

00:32:56.880 No,

00:32:57.120 no,

00:32:57.420 no,

00:32:58.120 no,

00:32:58.480 no,

00:32:58.620 like that.

00:32:59.240 There are 100%.

00:33:00.500 Bones.

00:33:01.760 Broke men.

00:33:05.340 And that's what you did.

00:33:06.380 That's what you did.

00:33:08.340 No.

00:33:09.320 So you don't think men like women that are boss babes?

00:33:11.460 Men don't give a shit about our money.

00:33:13.340 Exactly.

00:33:13.600 They literally don't care.

00:33:14.700 It's like,

00:33:15.080 it's like,

00:33:15.400 okay,

00:33:15.700 has this guy ever told you about a shoe collection?

00:33:17.620 And you're like,

00:33:17.940 oh,

00:33:18.020 that's cool,

00:33:18.580 but you don't really care.

00:33:19.460 That's how men view our money.

00:33:21.080 They don't care.

00:33:21.660 It's nothing to them.

00:33:22.880 But you,

00:33:23.160 you,

00:33:23.460 you proved the point of what you said just now though,

00:33:24.820 because what you're saying is that you could walk out theoretic,

00:33:27.940 you could walk out and get some guy,

00:33:30.140 maybe come and check you up or whatever,

00:33:31.600 but you're looking for a certain percentile of guy.

00:33:33.980 Yeah.

00:33:34.280 So you're,

00:33:34.700 you're basically saying,

00:33:35.560 oh,

00:33:35.660 the,

00:33:35.980 the,

00:33:36.240 you know,

00:33:36.440 this group of guys who might hit on me randomly in,

00:33:39.820 in West London,

00:33:40.640 I don't care about them because I want this,

00:33:42.380 this,

00:33:42.660 this top tier.

00:33:43.400 And that's the thing.

00:33:44.280 That's,

00:33:44.600 and I'm not saying that's a bad,

00:33:45.700 I mean,

00:33:45.860 that's absolutely your,

00:33:46.940 everyone's prerogative,

00:33:47.640 but at the same time,

00:33:48.620 I think a lot of guys are finding it increasingly difficult in this,

00:33:51.980 in this dating marketplace,

00:33:52.880 you know,

00:33:53.720 cause,

00:33:53.920 cause women are the gatekeepers basically,

00:33:55.140 you know?

00:33:56.020 Yes.

00:33:56.660 So I'm curious,

00:33:57.820 cause I hear this a lot.

00:33:59.240 Like I'm not going to get a guy that's not on my level or is that what you said?

00:34:02.740 I don't want to misquote.

00:34:03.720 Yeah.

00:34:03.740 I just don't want to be with a guy that's just not up to the standard that I,

00:34:07.140 that I want.

00:34:08.300 So when as women do we lower our standards and decide that they're too high?

00:34:11.920 If we don't,

00:34:12.680 if,

00:34:12.780 if all the guys we're talking to don't live up to the standards that we want,

00:34:16.180 when do we lower them?

00:34:16.960 When you're getting old and there's no more time.

00:34:19.980 When your body clock is giving up and you can't have children.

00:34:23.500 90% of your eggs are gone by 30.

00:34:26.360 So at what age would you say that women should start lowering their standards?

00:34:30.620 Cause I'd be 30 then if that's the case.

00:34:33.040 Cause I need children.

00:34:34.200 Do you know what I mean?

00:34:35.060 Cause it's geriatric pregnancy starts at 35.

00:34:37.660 Wow.

00:34:38.260 So I think a lot of times like women,

00:34:40.020 we think our biological clock is a lot longer than it really is.

00:34:43.760 You freeze your eggs.

00:34:45.600 That's also an option.

00:34:46.620 Yeah.

00:34:46.960 Yeah.

00:34:47.400 But I can't remember the stat off the top of my head,

00:34:51.100 but it doesn't work out for a lot of women.

00:34:53.540 They kind of sell us that dream.

00:34:55.240 Yeah.

00:34:56.660 I wish I could remember what percent of women actually get pregnant,

00:34:59.540 but it's not as high as you think after geriatric pregnancy.

00:35:04.480 I think the other way around,

00:35:05.720 it's only about 50%.

00:35:06.620 If a guy freezes his sperm,

00:35:09.360 it's quite,

00:35:10.960 it's,

00:35:11.140 you know,

00:35:11.860 it's like a 50,

00:35:12.520 50 shot,

00:35:13.100 basically,

00:35:13.420 whether it's going to,

00:35:14.780 it's going to work or not.

00:35:15.680 I mean,

00:35:16.920 yeah,

00:35:17.220 it's a bit of a tricky one.

00:35:18.720 I mean,

00:35:20.220 yeah,

00:35:20.820 I don't know.

00:35:25.160 But no one can help who they're attracted to.

00:35:26.920 I mean,

00:35:27.140 you can't say to somebody,

00:35:29.480 well,

00:35:30.080 well,

00:35:30.420 you know,

00:35:31.220 it's very hard to say to somebody,

00:35:32.460 look,

00:35:32.620 you should lower your standards because we are attracted to who we're attracted to.

00:35:37.360 And that's just,

00:35:37.820 that's just the reality of it,

00:35:38.900 isn't it?

00:35:39.280 I'm curious.

00:35:40.100 Would you guys rather be like,

00:35:42.140 so at 60,

00:35:42.980 65,

00:35:43.700 would you rather be by yourself or be with someone you're not attracted to?

00:35:47.400 Be by myself.

00:35:48.260 Be by myself.

00:35:49.100 Yeah.

00:35:49.780 Yeah.

00:35:50.060 Cats.

00:35:51.160 Yeah.

00:35:52.980 Really?

00:35:54.060 Really?

00:35:54.560 No kids?

00:35:55.600 Cause to me,

00:35:56.120 it's like,

00:35:56.440 I'd rather be with someone I'm not attracted to than out of children.

00:35:59.560 I would feel like my life,

00:36:01.220 it was like a failure if I didn't have kids.

00:36:02.640 No,

00:36:02.820 I'm not looking for companionship.

00:36:04.220 I definitely want kids.

00:36:05.140 If it's real,

00:36:05.960 it's not.

00:36:06.800 What?

00:36:07.300 If it's real,

00:36:08.000 it's not.

00:36:10.140 What were you going to say?

00:36:11.160 You definitely want kids?

00:36:12.200 Yeah.

00:36:13.480 I know.

00:36:13.780 So I'm asking if you had the two options and you would still pick by yourself.

00:36:16.900 You said at 65.

00:36:20.100 You just told me the age of 35.

00:36:22.200 No,

00:36:22.500 but I'm saying,

00:36:22.980 so in one scenario at 65,

00:36:24.840 you have a husband you're not attracted to and children and a family.

00:36:27.580 And at the other one,

00:36:28.240 you're by yourself.

00:36:29.420 So I'm saying like,

00:36:30.140 as women,

00:36:30.440 we keep saying we need our standards to be on a certain level.

00:36:33.040 Right?

00:36:33.180 And I hear this is super common.

00:36:34.420 It's not just you.

00:36:35.440 So it's like,

00:36:36.220 but when do we start lowering them if the men aren't meeting them?

00:36:40.520 Because what's our other option?

00:36:42.600 Bye dog.

00:36:44.840 I think that's where it goes with the beauty beyond the eye.

00:36:53.020 You see,

00:36:53.540 you start,

00:36:54.200 you know,

00:36:54.500 you don't find him attractive first and you really start liking him after.

00:36:57.620 But you see what I'm saying when I say that?

00:36:59.840 Like,

00:37:00.040 I think that women,

00:37:01.280 men have higher beauty standards than women.

00:37:04.200 Like that they have to live up to because it's such a small percentage of men that we're even attracted to.

00:37:09.100 Everyone in here said they're picky.

00:37:10.740 But don't you feel like it happened to us first as women?

00:37:14.160 And we had to level ourselves up to be a certain way.

00:37:18.140 When do you think we had to level ourselves up?

00:37:23.420 I'd say about 20,

00:37:24.560 30 years ago.

00:37:25.240 I feel like we've gotten worse in the last 20 to 30 years.

00:37:29.460 See,

00:37:29.900 so about 20,

00:37:30.460 30 years.

00:37:30.760 No,

00:37:30.940 but I don't think we've leveled up.

00:37:32.000 I think women have leveled down.

00:37:33.940 Yeah,

00:37:34.200 but I don't agree with that.

00:37:35.480 No,

00:37:35.700 I think,

00:37:35.960 I think you're,

00:37:36.460 I think you're right.

00:37:37.020 But I,

00:37:37.300 I think what probably from my perspective,

00:37:39.220 I reckon what happened was that,

00:37:40.480 that there was that pressure on women to be,

00:37:42.800 you know,

00:37:43.160 you've got to look amazing all the time.

00:37:44.740 And,

00:37:44.900 and blokes like back in the,

00:37:46.400 the sort of the eighties and early nineties and stuff,

00:37:48.920 guys didn't really have to make an effort.

00:37:50.720 You know what I mean?

00:37:51.240 It was like,

00:37:51.700 you could have a beer gun and just like whatever football shirt on.

00:37:55.000 And she's like,

00:37:55.260 Oh yeah,

00:37:55.480 she's nice.

00:37:56.040 And you know,

00:37:56.440 it's very laddy kind of thing.

00:37:57.860 I've seen pictures of guys from like the,

00:38:00.380 I saw beach pictures from like the,

00:38:02.660 before the sixties.

00:38:04.380 Everyone was hot back then.

00:38:06.120 I thought they were so much more attractive.

00:38:08.580 I think,

00:38:09.180 well,

00:38:09.260 and the women,

00:38:09.960 they were,

00:38:10.260 I feel like something switched in the food or something.

00:38:13.120 Well,

00:38:13.440 maybe,

00:38:13.940 maybe just in England then,

00:38:15.520 but no,

00:38:15.860 I know what you mean.

00:38:16.460 Cause I've seen in pictures in like Brazilian stuff,

00:38:18.320 like from the seventies.

00:38:19.200 No,

00:38:19.220 I'm talking the U S like California pictures.

00:38:21.240 Really?

00:38:21.540 Okay.

00:38:22.220 Okay.

00:38:22.760 Okay.

00:38:24.200 I don't know.

00:38:24.900 Well,

00:38:25.220 I,

00:38:25.480 I,

00:38:26.140 from my perspective,

00:38:27.060 what I've seen,

00:38:28.260 I think that standards for men have got higher in the last sort of 10,

00:38:32.700 15,

00:38:33.000 20 years.

00:38:33.540 That's,

00:38:33.740 that's just,

00:38:34.360 just my sense of it.

00:38:35.240 And maybe women's had to have been higher in the past,

00:38:37.780 but it like,

00:38:40.520 I don't know.

00:38:41.420 It doesn't really help anybody.

00:38:42.300 Does it?

00:38:42.700 Do you know what I mean?

00:38:43.160 Like,

00:38:43.380 like,

00:38:43.960 um,

00:38:44.240 I,

00:38:44.360 I think,

00:38:44.980 I think now because of the thirstiness of guys and the fact that as you,

00:38:48.880 as we've said,

00:38:49.420 I mean,

00:38:49.580 guys are less selected than,

00:38:50.980 than women.

00:38:51.400 I think guys are now more less picky than they were.

00:38:54.920 Do you know what I mean?

00:38:55.580 I think,

00:38:56.040 I think there are many guys who will take a woman who's perhaps less attractive than

00:39:00.080 he would have preferred because he thinks that's his only option.

00:39:03.240 I think ultimately is finding someone you're compatible with.

00:39:07.680 So all these standards,

00:39:09.140 standards,

00:39:09.700 standards,

00:39:10.040 it's like,

00:39:10.800 what is a standard?

00:39:11.820 If he's a good guy,

00:39:12.860 if he's a good girl and it's like,

00:39:14.200 you know,

00:39:14.380 it's compatible to you.

00:39:15.460 It's got the same values,

00:39:16.480 same,

00:39:16.820 you know,

00:39:17.340 principles and you get along well and you have the same,

00:39:20.540 you know,

00:39:20.880 goals in life.

00:39:21.640 I think that's what can be defined as a,

00:39:24.200 you know.

00:39:24.680 Yeah.

00:39:25.080 I'm curious.

00:39:25.660 What,

00:39:25.860 what are your standards?

00:39:27.640 Like,

00:39:28.120 what,

00:39:28.280 what do you guys look for in a guy?

00:39:30.520 I think I'm maybe not the right person.

00:39:33.120 I think like lots of women know because it's like,

00:39:35.780 you don't look for anything.

00:39:40.520 Women.

00:39:43.160 No,

00:39:43.680 because I,

00:39:44.300 I know that lots of women,

00:39:45.420 they look at just,

00:39:46.860 you know,

00:39:47.020 how much money my man is making,

00:39:48.720 how much,

00:39:49.260 you know,

00:39:49.660 good,

00:39:50.160 good life.

00:39:51.020 Yeah.

00:39:51.180 You don't have to say money.

00:39:52.180 It could be like whatever you look for.

00:39:53.860 For me is like having emotional support.

00:39:57.060 Most of everything.

00:39:58.220 And,

00:39:58.660 you know,

00:39:58.960 having someone that,

00:40:00.200 you know,

00:40:00.360 understands my needs,

00:40:01.840 you know,

00:40:02.100 on a mental level,

00:40:03.060 obviously,

00:40:03.980 you know,

00:40:04.280 we need to,

00:40:05.440 you know,

00:40:05.840 do life together and navigate,

00:40:07.800 you know,

00:40:08.220 challenges and everything.

00:40:09.400 But ultimately for me is about finding that compatible person,

00:40:13.400 which is very difficult to do because,

00:40:15.000 you know,

00:40:15.120 you're going to have always something,

00:40:17.040 you know,

00:40:17.300 that as,

00:40:18.220 um,

00:40:18.520 some character traits that are not really,

00:40:21.320 you know,

00:40:21.620 men and women are just different.

00:40:23.020 And as much as we want to play this card,

00:40:25.020 Oh,

00:40:25.140 I want to be like a man.

00:40:26.100 I'm never going to be a man.

00:40:27.240 I wasn't born a man.

00:40:28.080 And I'm not going to understand what men.

00:40:30.600 So do you,

00:40:31.000 don't you think that asking him to understand your emotional needs is asking a man to be a woman when he's not a woman?

00:40:37.040 A little bit.

00:40:37.600 Yes,

00:40:37.960 but not in a way like,

00:40:39.420 don't get me wrong.

00:40:40.400 Yes,

00:40:40.760 maybe a little bit.

00:40:41.860 Yes,

00:40:42.140 but at the same time,

00:40:43.080 I don't want to call the person,

00:40:44.680 you know,

00:40:44.840 in front of me,

00:40:45.640 no,

00:40:46.020 you know,

00:40:46.360 I want to have someone that is kind of empathic enough,

00:40:49.940 you know,

00:40:50.200 got a little bit of warmness.

00:40:51.480 That doesn't sound too hard to find a warm,

00:40:52.860 a nice guy.

00:40:54.460 You think that's hard?

00:40:57.100 Like what else?

00:40:57.800 There has to be,

00:40:58.400 there has to be,

00:40:59.320 I was like,

00:40:59.840 there has to be more.

00:41:02.240 It can't just be that.

00:41:03.300 Yeah,

00:41:03.760 I mean,

00:41:04.140 there are,

00:41:05.120 but,

00:41:05.440 um,

00:41:05.880 there's going to be loads of guys in the chat now.

00:41:07.240 I'm a nice guy.

00:41:08.000 I can emotionally support you.

00:41:11.880 No,

00:41:12.240 no,

00:41:12.680 I mean,

00:41:13.160 I mean,

00:41:13.760 I want to,

00:41:14.440 you know,

00:41:14.660 I want to say this,

00:41:15.520 like there are lots of great guys out there.

00:41:17.360 I don't want to be like,

00:41:18.160 oh yeah,

00:41:18.740 man.

00:41:19.500 It's just,

00:41:19.920 I find that this particular time that we're living,

00:41:23.480 guys are like finding very difficult in committing on the long term,

00:41:27.480 because,

00:41:27.800 you know,

00:41:27.860 a lot of pressure there is in this society.

00:41:29.580 So it's like,

00:41:30.000 I can't provide to my woman because,

00:41:32.220 you know,

00:41:32.380 the bills are going high,

00:41:33.700 you know,

00:41:33.900 the society is crazy at the moment,

00:41:35.420 you know,

00:41:35.720 and women wants always more,

00:41:37.340 more,

00:41:37.580 more,

00:41:37.760 the last quote,

00:41:38.600 the last,

00:41:38.980 you know,

00:41:39.700 trend that is there,

00:41:41.000 you know,

00:41:41.180 I need to satisfy that.

00:41:42.440 And I feel like that it's quite detrimental.

00:41:45.800 So I feel like,

00:41:47.020 yes,

00:41:47.260 you're right.

00:41:47.820 Maybe we can lower a little bit our standards and try,

00:41:50.980 trying to be more realistic with what we really,

00:41:53.980 you know,

00:41:54.340 we're going to get.

00:41:55.080 How old would you date?

00:41:56.320 Like,

00:41:56.480 is there an age range?

00:41:57.620 Like you said,

00:41:58.160 you're 37,

00:41:59.320 right?

00:41:59.480 Eight.

00:42:00.000 38.

00:42:00.580 Okay.

00:42:00.860 So would you date a 21 year old guy?

00:42:02.940 I don't think so.

00:42:04.360 Okay.

00:42:04.720 So there's age.

00:42:05.640 Yeah,

00:42:06.340 because it's just a question.

00:42:08.200 I mean,

00:42:08.680 yeah,

00:42:09.300 I don't think so.

00:42:10.060 It has to be like,

00:42:11.020 you know,

00:42:11.280 mature enough for me to,

00:42:12.820 you know,

00:42:13.020 for me to get deep conversations with,

00:42:15.340 like,

00:42:15.540 what are you talking about?

00:42:16.660 Without scaring him.

00:42:17.800 And I think like when you're 21,

00:42:19.920 you still need to figure out a lot of things.

00:42:21.920 I'm not saying that by 38,

00:42:23.680 you're going to have everything.

00:42:24.740 No.

00:42:24.860 So you date a 55 year old guy?

00:42:26.960 That's okay.

00:42:29.660 Nah,

00:42:30.120 I don't think so.

00:42:30.980 Okay.

00:42:31.640 So maybe,

00:42:34.040 maybe up until you're 45.

00:42:36.520 45.

00:42:37.140 Yeah.

00:42:37.580 Okay.

00:42:37.840 Or less.

00:42:38.380 Yeah.

00:42:38.760 Anything else?

00:42:39.440 So he just has to be emotionally available under the age of 45.

00:42:42.940 Funny.

00:42:43.800 Over 30,

00:42:44.500 maybe I'm not doing like,

00:42:47.780 I'm not doing an advert out there.

00:42:50.620 It used to be.

00:42:51.700 Me,

00:42:52.120 me,

00:42:52.320 me.

00:42:53.020 No,

00:42:53.380 no,

00:42:53.580 no,

00:42:53.900 no,

00:42:54.720 no,

00:42:54.880 no,

00:42:54.900 there's not an advert.

00:42:57.720 Just,

00:42:58.840 as I said,

00:42:59.500 like for me,

00:43:00.420 the emotional support without being too much a woman is very important.

00:43:04.540 And to be able to,

00:43:06.180 you know,

00:43:07.040 understand like that,

00:43:08.920 trying to understand us because as we,

00:43:12.400 as women,

00:43:12.920 and we're trying to understand men and we're trying to get into that masculine energy,

00:43:17.840 which is quite like difficult to do.

00:43:20.240 And at the same time,

00:43:21.400 I would love,

00:43:22.060 you know,

00:43:22.180 that the men trying to be a little bit more empathetic and trying to understand without becoming a woman.

00:43:27.040 I mean,

00:43:27.200 it has to be men.

00:43:28.340 It has to be men.

00:43:28.920 Have you dated guys that weren't emotionally available before or emotional?

00:43:33.760 I forgot what words you said exactly,

00:43:35.760 but something like that.

00:43:37.040 You just mentioned it a couple of times.

00:43:38.940 I was just wondering.

00:43:39.540 I think there are lots of emotionally unavailable men out there because everything has to do with,

00:43:46.260 I think,

00:43:46.620 traumas and things that they've been experiencing in life.

00:43:49.760 So if a man is emotionally unavailable,

00:43:52.720 it's just because it went maybe through something that is not capable of.

00:43:57.260 You might feel something,

00:43:58.340 but it's just not capable to just put everything out there.

00:44:02.100 I'm not saying that everyone is like that,

00:44:04.840 but I think a lot of people,

00:44:06.440 I mean,

00:44:06.820 again,

00:44:07.240 talking with a lot of friends and people,

00:44:09.140 they are all saying,

00:44:10.500 men,

00:44:10.780 they don't want to commit,

00:44:12.240 you know,

00:44:12.500 they don't want to see the long term.

00:44:13.940 They always,

00:44:14.700 but I feel also like maybe we need to look at ourselves and say,

00:44:18.700 like,

00:44:18.860 what's wrong with me?

00:44:20.160 Why is this not working?

00:44:21.680 And trying to fix,

00:44:23.360 you know,

00:44:23.620 things.

00:44:24.960 What about you?

00:44:26.600 What do you look for in a guy?

00:44:27.940 What are your ambition?

00:44:29.980 Again,

00:44:30.460 emotional support as well,

00:44:31.820 because I feel like a lot of men do not know how to give emotional support.

00:44:36.160 And when you do question it,

00:44:37.880 they end up arguing with you or backing away.

00:44:42.240 Again,

00:44:42.780 like she said,

00:44:43.260 because of traumas and stuff that goes like wrong in their life.

00:44:47.960 And then they bring it into the relationship from past experiences or being cheated on.

00:44:52.780 And so I think it is,

00:44:54.640 it's very tough to find that.

00:44:57.800 So what else?

00:45:00.440 So you said ambitious.

00:45:02.180 Can we put a dollar amount to it?

00:45:03.720 Is there a money?

00:45:05.260 How much?

00:45:05.800 Because how old did you say you were?

00:45:07.420 32.

00:45:07.920 32.

00:45:08.600 So how,

00:45:09.360 what old is the guy roughly?

00:45:11.660 How old?

00:45:12.140 Yeah.

00:45:12.280 Do you want him to be?

00:45:13.900 My age?

00:45:15.140 And I'll say up to the age of 40.

00:45:17.980 Okay.

00:45:18.280 So let's say he's 40.

00:45:20.100 Okay.

00:45:20.340 How much does he have to be making roughly?

00:45:25.060 I just think he just needs to be able to be a provider.

00:45:29.660 Especially if you're going into a relationship,

00:45:32.160 because I'm quite old school.

00:45:33.960 So I think a woman should play their role and a man should play their role.

00:45:37.600 So if you're able to provide and,

00:45:40.380 you know,

00:45:41.140 pay,

00:45:42.860 sorry,

00:45:43.400 run the household,

00:45:44.460 then,

00:45:45.320 then it's okay.

00:45:46.120 I don't think it,

00:45:46.780 how much does that cost?

00:45:49.160 Well,

00:45:49.340 that depends on where you're living.

00:45:51.460 You could be living outside of London,

00:45:53.380 inside of London.

00:45:54.440 That all depends.

00:45:55.480 how many bedrooms you have.

00:45:58.940 Yeah.

00:45:59.420 It really all depends.

00:46:01.360 A rough,

00:46:02.180 can I get a rough number?

00:46:05.420 I don't have a number.

00:46:08.720 Maybe about 40,

00:46:11.080 40,

00:46:11.600 40.

00:46:12.380 That's like 50.

00:46:13.500 I'm American.

00:46:14.220 So 50,

00:46:14.720 5,

00:46:14.980 that's like average salary,

00:46:16.320 right?

00:46:16.600 Yeah.

00:46:17.020 Okay.

00:46:17.240 That's not bad.

00:46:18.280 So average salary.

00:46:19.700 What else?

00:46:20.600 40,

00:46:21.160 30 to 40 roughly is what you said.

00:46:24.440 your age or average salary.

00:46:27.160 What else?

00:46:28.760 Yeah.

00:46:29.360 So you need to be,

00:46:30.560 be able to support me emotionally as well.

00:46:34.060 Again,

00:46:34.540 you need to,

00:46:35.720 you know,

00:46:36.820 have some sort of attraction there.

00:46:40.840 That's it really.

00:46:42.900 What about height?

00:46:44.080 How tall?

00:46:44.440 Oh,

00:46:44.560 you need to be,

00:46:45.020 you need to be tall.

00:46:45.740 You need to be taller than me.

00:46:46.900 How tall are you?

00:46:47.840 I'm five,

00:46:48.280 six.

00:46:48.700 Okay.

00:46:49.040 So five,

00:46:49.640 six is good.

00:46:51.420 About five,

00:46:52.280 seven and up.

00:46:53.300 Five,

00:46:53.500 seven and up.

00:46:54.160 Okay.

00:46:54.600 Yeah.

00:46:55.320 So that's it.

00:46:56.820 It doesn't sound that hard.

00:46:57.840 It doesn't sound that hard to find.

00:46:58.840 It is really difficult.

00:47:00.600 A five,

00:47:01.000 seven guy making $40,000 a year.

00:47:03.760 Yeah.

00:47:04.980 That's emotionally available.

00:47:06.400 It doesn't seem that hard.

00:47:07.300 It is very hard.

00:47:09.260 I just feel like,

00:47:10.540 yeah,

00:47:10.680 a lot of guys are just not there anymore.

00:47:13.160 They're just very big in their minds elsewhere,

00:47:16.760 to be honest.

00:47:17.960 It's just interesting.

00:47:19.220 40,

00:47:19.500 like,

00:47:19.720 you said you,

00:47:22.640 you're old school,

00:47:23.460 right?

00:47:23.940 Yeah.

00:47:24.340 Do you think that women should be virgins the same way that men should be

00:47:27.340 providers?

00:47:28.780 No.

00:47:29.420 Why?

00:47:30.320 Isn't that a double,

00:47:31.100 isn't that a double standard?

00:47:32.280 Because if we expect them to be traditional providers,

00:47:35.940 shouldn't we be traditional virgins?

00:47:38.280 Yeah.

00:47:38.540 But again,

00:47:39.800 I am old school,

00:47:40.880 but you have to know that this is the modern world as well.

00:47:43.540 So that's not really going to happen.

00:47:44.940 So wouldn't you say the same thing with that provider guy?

00:47:48.780 Like,

00:47:49.280 it's not going to happen.

00:47:51.020 You need two incomes to survive.

00:47:52.840 To set an aspect.

00:47:54.020 Yeah.

00:47:54.500 Yeah.

00:47:55.180 Okay.

00:47:55.960 What do you look for?

00:47:57.020 Go ahead.

00:47:58.260 A man that can support me,

00:47:59.900 like I can support him.

00:48:01.200 And that doesn't just mean money.

00:48:02.940 I'm talking about generally and stuff that I like to do,

00:48:06.160 support me in what I like to do.

00:48:09.240 And I'm very big on supporting a man as well.

00:48:11.680 Like I love to give them the encouragement and be their cheerleader.

00:48:17.760 And I just want the same.

00:48:19.840 And being able to see a future with that person and us having the same goals,

00:48:24.880 which means a family,

00:48:27.140 building a house together.

00:48:30.540 Would he be a great father figure?

00:48:32.480 I wouldn't know unless he has kids already.

00:48:37.060 Loving me,

00:48:38.540 just having a lovable home.

00:48:40.500 Yes.

00:48:40.980 He has to work.

00:48:42.080 Because I'm not having a man that doesn't work.

00:48:43.940 Because I work.

00:48:45.100 So we both have to work.

00:48:48.640 I'm not really bothered about,

00:48:50.240 I'm happy to go 50-50.

00:48:53.160 If I have to.

00:48:55.160 You know?

00:48:55.920 I mean,

00:48:56.240 you can pay the mortgage and I can pay for the gas and electric.

00:48:58.960 You know,

00:48:59.220 I'm all right with that too.

00:49:00.580 But that's what I want.

00:49:02.680 And emotional support.

00:49:03.740 Yeah,

00:49:04.020 we do need emotional support.

00:49:05.600 Because a lot of men these days,

00:49:07.180 which you don't realise they need emotional support.

00:49:09.380 So why can't we get it?

00:49:10.460 Who do you think is more emotionally unstable,

00:49:13.840 men or women?

00:49:14.880 I think men are now.

00:49:16.300 I would have said women before,

00:49:17.860 but I feel like,

00:49:18.900 well maybe.

00:49:20.180 Women.

00:49:20.780 Women.

00:49:21.840 Sorry, go ahead.

00:49:22.520 Yeah, I think women.

00:49:24.480 Oh my gosh.

00:49:26.100 I feel like men are now.

00:49:27.820 No.

00:49:28.980 You see TikTok?

00:49:30.500 That's all it is.

00:49:31.340 It's emotionally unstable women.

00:49:34.400 Yeah, but I feel like men are.

00:49:35.120 It's like all these girls crying on TikTok.

00:49:37.000 I'm like,

00:49:37.300 what is going on?

00:49:38.260 I haven't seen a guy crying on TikTok.

00:49:40.920 Yeah, because they do it behind closed doors.

00:49:42.940 I feel like men hide their feelings as well.

00:49:45.660 Yeah, men don't really like to show

00:49:47.080 how they're feeling compared to women.

00:49:49.260 But don't you think that's just how men process emotions?

00:49:51.620 Like they process emotions differently than women?

00:49:53.760 Yeah, they do.

00:49:54.540 But not all men.

00:49:55.840 But in general, right?

00:49:57.440 Because we always make it sound like a bad thing

00:49:59.220 that men don't like talk to each other

00:50:01.100 or like talk to us about their emotions.

00:50:03.500 But I just think they process emotions differently.

00:50:06.140 Yeah, they do.

00:50:08.060 Compared to women.

00:50:09.180 But it's like sometimes we try to make them into women

00:50:11.100 by being like process the emotions

00:50:12.560 like I process the emotions.

00:50:14.160 True.

00:50:14.540 I think they need to

00:50:15.600 because there is a lot of men

00:50:16.620 that have mental health at the moment.

00:50:18.820 So I think they do need to be able

00:50:20.440 to talk about their feelings.

00:50:22.240 Yeah, but not with women.

00:50:23.400 Yeah.

00:50:24.080 But why not?

00:50:25.340 Why not?

00:50:25.720 Yeah, why not?

00:50:27.680 Honestly, because women throw stuff in your face later.

00:50:30.440 I agree.

00:50:31.540 Yeah.

00:50:32.340 And then what they do

00:50:34.160 is they'll throw something in your face

00:50:36.120 and then they'll add lies to it.

00:50:37.680 So it'll be kind of true, but kind of not true.

00:50:39.780 Yeah, but not all women.

00:50:40.740 Not all women.

00:50:41.320 I mean, I didn't say 100% of women,

00:50:43.140 but I'm just saying if I had a balance of probabilities

00:50:45.180 and I had 10 guys and 10 girls,

00:50:46.880 I would say that women are more likely to do that.

00:50:49.260 Yeah.

00:50:49.680 The other problem is I don't think women find it

00:50:51.260 very attractive when guys are emotionally vulnerable,

00:50:54.540 to be honest.

00:50:55.400 I mean, I think because when I was growing up,

00:50:57.400 it was said, you know, people were starting to say,

00:50:59.240 oh, you know, just be open with your feelings,

00:51:00.800 be vulnerable, be emotional with her

00:51:02.220 and everything like that.

00:51:03.000 But actually the reality out there

00:51:04.440 is that I don't think women really, you know.

00:51:07.040 I feel like it depends.

00:51:08.380 For example, me personally,

00:51:09.360 I would want a guy to open up to me

00:51:11.040 and let me know how they're feeling.

00:51:12.660 What if he's crying every night?

00:51:14.060 No.

00:51:14.660 Not every night.

00:51:15.760 Yeah, that's a bit much.

00:51:16.960 Maybe.

00:51:17.100 But you see, that's why it's like confusing to men

00:51:19.480 because we'll be like, be open with us,

00:51:21.000 oh, but not too open.

00:51:21.940 Yeah.

00:51:22.160 So if you want to cry every day,

00:51:24.500 put that, take that shit away.

00:51:28.100 So it's kind of like,

00:51:29.180 at what point with each girl

00:51:30.880 is emotionally available enough

00:51:32.820 or emotionally open enough?

00:51:37.600 I feel like it depends.

00:51:39.300 If I was to be in a relationship with a guy

00:51:41.340 and we've gotten to that level

00:51:43.000 where we're comfortable to open up to each other,

00:51:45.360 then I don't think it would be an issue for him to,

00:51:48.040 if he was to cry to me every night, you know.

00:51:50.120 Maybe there could be something I can do to help him.

00:51:52.840 Me personally, anyways, I don't see that.

00:51:53.940 For how long?

00:51:54.780 He just cried for a year?

00:51:56.780 A year is too much.

00:51:58.500 I mean, that would be too much for a man or a woman.

00:52:01.160 And I feel like realistically,

00:52:02.320 a man's not going to cry to you for a year.

00:52:04.300 You know?

00:52:05.700 I feel like that would be too much either way.

00:52:07.540 If it's a man that's crying for a year,

00:52:08.880 that's a problem.

00:52:09.400 If it's a woman that's crying for a year,

00:52:10.620 that's a problem.

00:52:11.260 I think a month straight,

00:52:12.380 that'd be too much for me.

00:52:13.540 I don't know.

00:52:13.860 Is it like...

00:52:14.860 You gotta stop crying.

00:52:16.580 As many of you know,

00:52:17.580 I was just banned on TikTok.

00:52:20.120 And we are demonetized on a daily basis

00:52:22.600 on this platform.

00:52:24.440 If you want to help,

00:52:25.900 please consider sending a super thanks below.

00:52:28.940 Every donation helps

00:52:30.260 and it helps make what we do possible.

JustPearlyThings - April 30, 2023

Delusional BIMBO Could Not Handle Reality

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