JustPearlyThings - Delusional Bimbo Was caught lying through Her Teeth

00:00:00.000 a clash of cultures so I am very you know obviously I'm Bangladeshi British Muslim and I

00:00:05.460 think the modern side is what is me what I'm fighting against does that make sense so the

00:00:10.760 more I'm realizing actually I'm not this modern woman is the more comfortable I'm getting in who

00:00:14.640 I am I don't I don't think you can really go back like I don't think you can really claim

00:00:19.400 traditional if you're separated from your like your husband it's no when I say traditional I

00:00:24.280 say traditional in my values in my morals not that I'm I'm I'm gonna stick in a marriage that I'm

00:00:28.920 unhappy in because I'm a traditional woman it's more I know what I want for myself and I know that

00:00:33.680 this right but like that rhetoric right there that sounds very modern well can I just say again

00:00:38.920 all I'm hearing is I I I I not and I'm not trying to personalize it to you it's just that you're

00:00:44.760 speaking and a lot of the things that have been said today are I based and in relationships in

00:00:50.720 marriage it's about partnership working together and we're not nobody's perfect sometimes sometimes

00:00:57.980 you make mistakes and you have to work through it and with I'm I'm not married I've never been

00:01:04.720 married and I think it's easy for me to talk on it you know from a perspective but when you've got

00:01:10.940 a child involved your feelings involved you know finances involved whatever it might be work involved

00:01:16.760 your friends involved you you have to kind of peel back on all of the factors that influence you

00:01:23.580 and look at the bare bones of the relationship which is you your child and your partner and

00:01:29.860 literally zone in on that and make that your priority wait I've got a question quickly I've got a question

00:01:36.180 quickly just a kind of caveat of it yeah yeah so on that note because you're talking about I I do you

00:01:40.820 would you say that the modern woman is is selfish then yes because it because society allows that to be 1.00

00:01:47.740 the case because it's about what you want is it what the woman wants I don't think that's the case 0.84

00:01:52.640 to every woman yeah no no because I've been very selfless in relationships I've got nothing back 0.84

00:01:57.720 right exactly so but how can I be selfish no no no but when kids are involved you kind of have to be

00:02:02.940 selfish I'm sorry to cut you off yeah that's all right selfish like how though when kids are involved

00:02:08.220 well like your kids are your priority so it's like regardless of what how anybody feels like

00:02:13.060 your child is your priority isn't the priority to stay in that relationship with two parents

00:02:16.460 my priority is to take care of my child yeah yeah so that's but that's that's being selfless like 0.99

00:02:22.820 when you have a kid it's not supposed to be about you anymore it's about your kid fuck your happiness 0.88

00:02:27.020 but that's exactly unless you're in like extenuating circumstances where you are getting abused or 0.99

00:02:32.000 yeah I'm with you I'm with you if your child if your child's in danger yeah I I agree yeah but

00:02:37.920 that's not that's not the majority of cases if the child's not in danger you need to try work out

00:02:42.160 you know but that's exactly what like for example my daughter doesn't know we're separate my daughter

00:02:47.280 hasn't experienced anything different when she sees us she sees us very amicable and she she doesn't

00:02:52.580 know anything different do you live in the same house no we don't live in the same house okay but when I

00:02:58.260 say that when I say I'm putting my daughter first that's the reason why I'm not chasing another man

00:03:03.440 or chasing another relationship because the most beneficial one is me and her father but like so

00:03:08.780 you keep kind of contradicting yourself and you did it again just here there because you said

00:03:13.320 your daughter you don't live in the same house but your daughter doesn't know anything's up yeah she

00:03:18.160 may not at five but she will yeah and when and so and so she might not understand it but you you can't

00:03:24.460 say that it's like she's not going to notice that her dad or her mom isn't in the home no but I'm not

00:03:29.800 saying there's my my dad used to work here while my family were back home my dad wasn't present in

00:03:34.960 their lives every single day and I think that's another big misconception that a parent or a dad

00:03:40.560 has to be at home every single day it's a cultural thing yeah exactly did it affect you and not having

00:03:45.120 him there all the time no no not at all I love my dad like my dad was an amazing man an amazing father

00:03:50.680 figure amazing that's why I can't trash men because I have so much respect for my mom you don't think

00:03:54.500 it would have been better if your dad was there a bit often you spent more time no I feel like my

00:03:59.020 I'm just I'm just thinking about pearl no dad no no yeah my dad my dad was gone my dad was gone a lot

00:04:05.220 too and I'd say like it did affect me like I yeah I mean I would have been better if he was there I

00:04:10.760 still love him and I respect him more than anything but like I think it would be dumb to say I didn't

00:04:14.820 want my dad around more do you think it would have changed your perspective on you because you said

00:04:20.660 that you battle being traditional western do you think if your dad was there more that you'd be

00:04:24.720 a lot more traditional than western no I think the problem with me was when I went to uni and I came

00:04:31.280 out of my traditional or my culture bubble the bubble so I think that bubble protected me for so

00:04:35.680 long and I wish I stayed in it a bit longer because the trauma only came when I thought oh let me

00:04:40.660 experience a bit of life can I just say this do you think your dad being present in your life

00:04:46.300 when you were growing up would help you manage your situation right now with your husband better

00:04:51.400 because he would have been able to advise you or even now I don't know what your relationship is

00:04:57.060 like now but he would be able to guide you or even have an impact on you in a way that would allow you

00:05:03.540 to manage the situation better I don't I feel like I'm managing the situation well compared to what

00:05:10.440 society will tell me because there's a lot of people that will tell me why are you even investing any more

00:05:14.360 time or why are you even allowing this dynamics because a lot of people say oh close book and

00:05:19.440 rush out that's why girls give the worst advice I don't I don't think you could say you're managing 1.00

00:05:24.500 it well unless you're still with him can I just know it's it's not you can't it's like when I say

00:05:29.860 that's like that's like that's like like failing a test and saying you got no when I say managing it

00:05:34.520 well I'm saying about I'm respecting his values or views in where he is in life I'm respecting that he's

00:05:41.240 not ready to commit to the marriage and children yet because he feels like he can't be that

00:05:46.400 responsible why did you get married no wait wait before before all of that before all of that

00:05:50.300 it's all right I'm so proud of you like we can all see how much like you love your daughter how

00:05:55.480 much you're trying to make this work like his life is hard you know like no no no no wait wait wait

00:05:59.320 she only got here she only got here because she she because before we said yeah that ah women women 1.00

00:06:05.920 said they like the truth in it your husband told you the truth saying that I may potentially want

00:06:10.620 to step out on you yeah and that's what started this whole debacle of problems of relationship so

00:06:16.300 him being honest is kind of why you're here isn't it initially it was the my ex cheating that was the

00:06:22.220 issue but you said you had help for that trauma you said you had that trauma no no no that's something

00:06:26.700 I've gone in later like I say within the last year because it seems to me like you and your

00:06:31.360 husband split because of something that he might do in the future yeah and that was me looking back

00:06:36.600 at myself saying I was the fault of that so that was me taking accountability are you now saying that

00:06:41.760 as a young woman that traditional is the way to go 100% thank you 100% I'm I will I believe in

00:06:50.320 traditional roles I believe I just believe that this society doesn't enable that and a lot of my anger

00:06:54.760 as well even in my relationship was the fact that I had to work and I had to do things that a woman 1.00

00:07:00.060 shouldn't necessarily do because society now is too expensive I don't think can I just say that

00:07:05.620 can I just say that traditional women always work they did yeah they always work no no no no you 1.00

00:07:14.440 asked your mum how she worked just because she didn't need the house yeah yeah exactly so we're doing

00:07:17.960 the housework and then more she's talking about career I'm talking about career no but I'm saying that

00:07:21.580 it all depends on how you see it no 100% and also if you and your husband wouldn't it be better if

00:07:29.060 you both got a flat with three bedrooms and worked it out two separate rooms that's the thing money is

00:07:35.580 the issue so if money wasn't an issue of course we could have a mansion and we could no I'm just saying

00:07:40.480 is it is it there to live apart than to live together yeah uh yes

00:07:45.880 it's just easier for now because obviously where we're not financially not easier I'm talking about

00:07:53.640 cheaper is it cheaper to live separately or is it would it be cheaper to live together it's just not

00:07:59.680 a position we're at now because we're only I've only just healed could you just answer that yes or no

00:08:04.140 is it cheaper to live apart it's probably it's cheaper to live together it's cheaper to live together

00:08:08.020 but obviously if I'm not like I've only gone through my counseling and having to learn about

00:08:12.260 myself in the last year and a half that time I was alone if that makes sense if I'd never done that

00:08:17.200 I would never have gone through counseling or learn about myself and what and I've learned and I think

00:08:21.760 the thing is I had an amazing father figure I had an amazing childhood with my dad and my dad not

00:08:27.680 being there he was there you know him not being there for parts isn't impacted me at all my relationship

00:08:33.600 was amazing there was other things that happened when I was a child that made it more difficult

00:08:38.960 if that makes sense in me in my longer lifelong marriage and I think once I then went counseling

00:08:45.160 for that I then realized actually there was a lot of me that had to heal before I even took that step

00:08:51.920 can I just give you a bit of advice traditional women don't listen to their female friends 1.00

00:08:57.560 traditional women don't listen to social media and traditional women don't get easily influenced by 1.00

00:09:05.600 outside forces and I think that's what you're struggling with so you can't balance the two

00:09:11.080 because I know you're saying that you're modern and that you want to be traditional but yet you're saying

00:09:15.400 that these are what your friends are telling you to do and this is what this person is telling you to do

00:09:19.260 and this is what the internet is telling you to do and this is where your struggle is against your

00:09:23.420 traditional and your modern but you said that traditional is the way to go so so can I have a

00:09:29.260 bit easier just to fade out all the modern but I feel like so I'm sorry I feel like okay listening to

00:09:36.060 you I think that it's admirable that you've been for what you've been through and you worked on

00:09:41.060 yourself to know where it is that you went wrong I feel like the social media stuff the friend stuff

00:09:45.720 for me I'm hearing her tell me that that is the past that's what she did that got her in this

00:09:50.060 position now and I'm in my mind or what I believe is that moving forward you've you've learned a lot

00:09:56.740 from how what you did wrong that I reckon that when even if it's this guy if it's another guy

00:10:01.400 you're going to be a better partner than you were before because now what you what you believed what

00:10:05.980 you knew of relationships before was from social media was from friends or whatever but now you've

00:10:10.600 experienced something different so now you're more realistic about your expectations I think that is

00:10:15.420 where the whole traditional thing comes from because when I hear tradition for me because I'm

00:10:20.080 Nigerian like I think culture that's why I understand you saying that you know your dad not been in the

00:10:24.320 house didn't really affect because that is what this happens my cousins are the same thing like

00:10:28.540 it's what if it's if it's what you're around if it's if that's what you're socializing to if that's

00:10:33.020 the norm yeah it's nothing that's it's not odd to you I mean I'm just going to tell you how it

00:10:37.420 sounds it just sounds like a lot of excuses to me like it's just like this is right this is why this is why

00:10:43.540 this is why because like like when you're saying oh it's social media it's the culture it's this

00:10:48.240 it's that it's that it's like oh that's that's why I did what I did it's like it's it kind of

00:10:53.600 takes away from accountability when you're just blaming all these things can I just ask her

00:10:58.360 question because I know she's saying it's admirable that you've got rid of it and that

00:11:02.380 was in the past and whatever I came late I apologize for coming late what year did you go

00:11:07.000 carnival that is 2018 like that was I wasn't here okay by the way I went carnival only because I lived

00:11:15.740 on Ladbrook Grove so I moved on to Ladbrook Grove 2017 but wait let me just finish this carnival PR

00:11:22.540 I've let you talk a lot like this is it's just like this is instead of just saying instead of

00:11:27.280 just saying being accountable and you know what I wanted to go it was fun like it's like oh I lived

00:11:31.140 on this road no no no no it's like no okay so again I don't see where the issue with carnival is

00:11:36.740 again maybe because listen to what I'm saying when I came here late I didn't know when you went carnival

00:11:41.360 so all I'm heard from you is that you've had the counts in a year and a half so that's what I'm asking

00:11:46.180 you when did you go carnival because I wasn't here so I didn't know right and even when I went

00:11:50.340 carnival I'm a very standoffish person no one will chat to me because my demeanor is very like

00:11:55.820 so even me going carnival I dance if I dance with my friends it's my girlfriends I'm dancing with

00:12:01.800 no one I still feel like guys if I'm going carnival I'm going for man I'll tell you that right

00:12:06.040 I'm not going there to see the food and see the culture I'm going to

00:12:10.540 this whole show you've been camping this whole show so wait so wait if you went to carnival this summer

00:12:17.740 yeah can someone explain to me why that would be a bad thing exactly this is what I also also I

00:12:22.480 understand you go I understand you go to carnival for man but we're all not the same people people

00:12:27.080 are different can I just say something as a traditional single parent with a child under

00:12:36.640 the age of five that's not looking no man that wants to stay away from outside influences that

00:12:42.200 don't want to get influenced by social media she shouldn't be at carnival no I'm just going by

00:12:49.400 what she said that she is no and by what she said I can only go by what she said that's why Pearl's 0.99

00:12:54.920 talking about the contradiction because as far as I'm concerned if I was a single parent with a

00:12:59.140 five-year-old child the only time I'm going carnival is with my child on a Sunday and we're going to be

00:13:04.040 home by like six o'clock in the evening I would not as a single parent go carnival without my child

00:13:09.940 with a group of friends carnival's not the place to have a break no no but I'm struggling with you

00:13:17.040 can't tell someone what to do we're not telling her what to do she's contradicting let's stop

00:13:21.940 interrupting me it's like she's contradicting herself the whole show and so you say one thing

00:13:26.340 and then you say another thing I don't I really wasn't even probing like honestly I'll ask you wait let

00:13:30.680 be I'll I'll ask you a question you'll tell a really long story and like it which is fine it's

00:13:36.260 a podcast that's fine but when you contradict yourself like five times in the story and people

00:13:40.540 start asking questions like then you get defensive and I wasn't telling them what to do I said as a

00:13:45.540 single parent I would have gone carnival I would have gone carnival I would take my child is what

00:13:51.280 I've done that's why that's what I said we're in different and I was a younger single parent than you

00:13:55.500 were yeah we're in different eras obviously social media came when I was about 16 even

00:13:59.400 this is an excuse again like it's like oh but it's the time like like this is like your immediate

00:14:06.940 response with anything is like oh this is the excuse it's like no I'm not making excuses I'm

00:14:11.440 saying I was battling what I was battling then I'm still learning I'm still like even now when I tell

00:14:18.020 my friends oh do you know what polygyny I don't mind it a lot of my friends will be like oh my god

00:14:22.420 what are you talking about some of them will be like actually I get what you mean because a lot of

00:14:26.100 them have gone through the cheating back and forth and all of that and they're like do you know what

00:14:29.680 I it's changed my mindset so what I'm saying is where I am now even now I'm still not who I want

00:14:35.460 to be fully because the more days pass the more I do things even being a mother even just working

00:14:40.860 even everything else the more I'm learning how much better is being a traditional woman it's taken 0.96

00:14:46.380 me a lot longer only because I'm having to learn that my mom's life was happier than what I am

00:14:52.160 how are you learning just doing every single day the difficulties of being a woman in the 21st

00:14:58.120 century how does that make you more traditional living modern I'm not living more modern I'm

00:15:07.400 accepting that modern isn't the way forward yeah but I want a man who is going to be a traditional

00:15:13.520 gender role where he does the breadwinner yeah but I mean we can want what we want but only one in 1.00

00:15:18.080 four men only one in four women really get that traditional role like most women most women work 1.00

00:15:23.320 so like the majority of women don't get that like that's say like saying I want to be a millionaire 1.00

00:15:27.440 okay yeah like how does how does that make you more traditional no like what actionable it's more me

00:15:33.200 realizing how much the right-wing feminism shall I say or just that movement itself has hindered women 0.91

00:15:40.280 because I feel like I want to now engage in my feminine energy more and the more I'm engaging in my

00:15:46.140 feminine energy and the more I'm realizing actually I don't care if a man sleeps with 10 girls I don't 1.00

00:15:51.280 want to sleep with 10 guys like the more I'm realizing I'm not the same as a man in that sense

00:15:55.420 the more I'm happy I'm getting my rebuttal when I was younger was more because it was like oh what if

00:16:00.660 he could do it why can't I if he does this why can't I now I'm actually like no I'm being a feminine

00:16:05.320 woman have you have you practiced that in a relationship like doing the polygyny thing 1.00

00:16:09.980 uh not yet not yet yeah so so it's just like that's not really that's saying like I would

00:16:17.820 accept it isn't really like no it's because okay for example like my husband now my ex or partner if

00:16:24.540 he was to approach me and say you know what I'm ready to settle down but that is an option I will

00:16:29.960 100% accept it as many as you know I was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis

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JustPearlyThings - April 06, 2023

Delusional Bimbo Was caught lying through Her Teeth

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