Delusional Modern Admits She's Too Masculine And Gets Ridiculed
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
177.04123
Summary
Have you ever been in a traditional relationship? Have you ever felt like you were the domineering one in a relationship, the one that led the family? Do you enjoy being in a more modern relationship or do you find it difficult?
Transcript
00:00:04.420
So my question is, for the single people, have you ever been in a traditional relationship?
00:00:15.280
For the people in a relationship, are you in a traditional relationship?
00:00:18.180
And for the single people, have you ever been in a traditional relationship and how did
00:00:26.300
Just like what you think of when you think of like, the man pays for everything.
00:00:37.180
Well, yeah, why don't we start here and then go around, go ahead, sorry.
00:00:45.240
I guess yes, in some aspects, like he would lead and I would follow.
00:00:50.740
He paid, yeah, he paid for everything unless like I offered and said, oh, I've got it this
00:00:58.120
Um, that's, I guess that's as traditional because we didn't live together and honestly, we weren't
00:01:07.500
I don't think I have been in a traditional relationship as such, but it was all very 50 50.
00:01:25.660
So I'm married and I, um, I hesitate because we have a blended family.
00:01:32.100
So it's not traditional in a sense of like nuclear, uh, we got together and had babies.
00:01:36.620
Um, but we had children before we got together and got married and now we're a blended family,
00:01:45.800
Um, yes, I am, I am a traditional wife and yeah, I follow his lead and yeah, essentially
00:01:56.420
Um, I've been married before, so I'm divorced, but I wasn't in a traditional marriage or relationship.
00:02:09.560
Um, I guess I was in my masculine energy and, uh, I was doing everything essentially.
00:02:22.120
And he was, um, not really the man that I, I want, um, that I now want, you know, after
00:02:31.900
some searching and understanding what my role is as a woman, what I would ideally like to
00:02:36.600
like from a man and what they want from women, more importantly.
00:02:43.700
When you say in your masculine, what do you mean by that?
00:02:45.740
Um, so I made the decisions for the family, um, financially and more, um, just everything
00:02:56.100
I just kind of felt like, uh, I don't want to be too disrespectful here cause you know, he's
00:03:01.600
the father of my kid and, um, there's certain boundaries that you don't talk about on air,
00:03:13.700
Um, I think to an extent my relationship was quite traditional, but I think when it comes
00:03:19.020
when it comes to like personality and stuff, I think I was more of the domineering character
00:03:24.700
So I would say in that sense, I kind of witnessed that I was more of the leader than he was.
00:03:29.820
And I think that's probably why like things didn't really work out between us, but yeah.
00:03:35.480
I think, um, the relationship I'm in now, yeah, he leads, but I think previous relationship,
00:03:43.280
I've tried to make them lead and they've been able to, so I just had to go, just forcing
00:03:58.780
So for the girls that said, cause I think you two said you've never been in a traditional
00:04:04.280
Do you guys enjoy, did you enjoy being in a more modern relationship?
00:04:12.280
No, I'm very, I'm quite old school, even though I'm young, like I've got quite old soul and
00:04:17.780
I've always wanted, you know, just to be one man for my whole life.
00:04:21.280
And it just wasn't that he wasn't giving me that he wasn't really at the beginning.
00:04:26.280
He was putting in a lot of effort, but towards the end, it wasn't really there.
00:04:36.280
What was it like being in a modern relationship?
00:04:41.280
And is that something you'd want in the future?
00:04:51.280
I feel like, um, so my biggest fear, my biggest fear is financially depending on somebody.
00:05:02.280
I never, ever, ever want to co-own a home with someone.
00:05:05.280
I never want to co-own a business with someone.
00:05:10.280
Because I've seen so many women in my life be absolutely dictated financially by men.
00:05:17.280
But no one's ever made me feel safe enough to embrace my feminine side with a man.
00:05:25.280
Which is why I've always had my own businesses.
00:05:39.280
My ex committed identity theft fraud against me with his mum.
00:05:46.280
I'm not even using that as an excuse to plug myself.
00:05:58.280
And until I meet someone that makes me feel safe enough emotionally, spiritually, and physically,
00:06:03.280
then I will consider being in a traditional relationship.
00:06:17.280
Do you think that's going to be hard for the next guy?
00:06:21.280
Because it's like he kind of has to deal with the mistakes of like your past in a way.
00:06:25.280
You know, it already has been hard for the next guy.
00:06:30.280
Not that I'm, you know, moving about in different ways, but you know, I go out a lot.
00:06:42.280
But there's something within me that's just like, but can I trust you?
00:06:47.280
Because the guy that was with last time was one of my best friends.
00:06:51.280
And I knew him for a couple of years before I was with him.
00:06:54.280
And then to do that and other things which I can't discuss.
00:07:02.280
Do you, at what point do you think you need to do some healing?
00:07:13.280
The bad, the sad thing is I've already done so much healing.
00:07:16.280
With all due respect, it doesn't sound like it though.
00:07:22.280
Do you know, I ran to the other side of the world.
00:07:29.280
And this is because when I broke up with him after I found out about the fraud,
00:07:33.280
other women from his past were coming forward to me, messaging me.
00:07:38.280
And these are women that he smear campaign saying,
00:07:47.280
And out of curiosity, I unblocked them because I knew they were trying to reach out to me.
00:07:51.280
And one by one, they slowly came forward to me with their screenshots and their truths
00:07:58.280
And it frightened me because I was sharing a bed with this person.
00:08:05.280
And all of a sudden, I'm discovering all of these things I had no idea he was capable of.
00:08:17.280
But like, how do you heal if you're friends with his past?
00:08:24.280
However, they justified everything I went through was real.
00:08:26.280
Because you go through this thing called cognitive dissonance when you're trying to break a trauma
00:08:31.280
And it's where you try and justify their behavior.
00:08:38.280
But simultaneously, they're emotionally abusing you by doing other things.
00:08:45.280
We come together and then we talk about, you know, he done this, she done that.
00:08:49.280
And then there's no actual healing that's being done.
00:08:52.280
So whether it's spiritually, whether it's mentally, you know, talking to a therapist, talking
00:08:59.280
And then it won't be so hard on the next guy that comes along.