Delusional Modern Woman Claims to be the Table
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
207.15422
Summary
In this episode, we talk about what it means to be an above average woman and what it takes to be a good wife and mother. We also discuss what we are looking for in a man and what we want to improve on in our relationship.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Do you think you're above average and what would you bring to an above average man?
00:00:04.220
I would say I'm currently average because I have a lot of improvement that needs to happen.
00:00:13.220
And what I bring to the table, as a sense, is same thing you said, babe.
00:00:23.540
The job that I have allows me to, you know, I feel like I'm going to be a very good mum.
00:00:34.100
Money-wise, I'm able to take care of certain things as well.
00:00:39.280
I know a lot of people think, oh, you know, it should be because he's the man.
00:00:48.700
Even if I'm just providing groceries, do you know what I mean?
00:01:03.900
There's, you know, I haven't been with a lot of people before him.
00:01:07.520
There's a lot of things that would make me worthy, perhaps, of being with someone like that.
00:01:14.580
If you're attracted in an above average man, wouldn't you say you like you're above average?
00:01:20.640
So he's older than me, and at the moment, I think as humans, we'd be silly to think that we don't have a lot of growth.
00:01:33.740
I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh, yeah, I'm above average.
00:01:41.780
And honestly, it shows humility that you're saying that, to be honest, which I think is something men look for.
00:01:49.920
But, yeah, even for myself, I know that I've got a lot of growth that needs to happen.
00:02:17.660
But it's just nice if the person that you're with has got ambition, at least.
00:02:22.960
With the person that I'm with, he doesn't really care about money, but he cares.
00:02:53.680
I've still got a lot of growth to do in that area.
00:02:56.540
I think we all do our money 24, so I have a lot more work to do.
00:03:03.160
Oh, and also being more calm, listening to him, because I've also been very dominant in the past.
00:03:09.360
He's told me that, so I'm trying to be a bit more submissive.
00:03:15.600
Where do you, like, why do you think you've been more dominant in the past?
00:03:20.200
Is that something you saw modeled growing up, or is that just a trait about you?
00:03:23.420
So, I didn't really have a dad growing up, so therefore, I've naturally had to be a bit more masculine.
00:03:31.840
I also grew up in a bit of a hood area, you could say.
00:03:35.480
So, yeah, I came from a bit of a rough background in a sense, but I feel like I'm dragging myself out of it and bettering myself.
00:03:43.520
How do you, because I've always wondered, how, if you didn't grow up in that environment, how do you learn to be, like, a wife or more feminine?
00:03:55.700
What I've seen, a lot of my family members and friends have also taught me.
00:04:00.020
And if you're not willing to learn and change, you're never going to.
00:04:04.860
It doesn't matter what background you've come from, you have to be willing to learn and to change, and then you're going to.
00:04:13.920
I think that if I don't say I'm above average, then who else is going to say it?
00:04:22.200
If I don't back myself first, then I don't think I'll ever become above average.
00:04:26.060
I think, you know, your mind is the most powerful thing, and you kind of are what you think, kind of the same as you are what you eat type vibe.
00:04:35.180
So if I don't think I'm above average and not what I bring to the table, then I am the fucking table.
00:04:43.780
And I might not be your table, but he might like the oak table with a wonky leg and, you know, and a crochet doily on top, right?
00:04:52.640
And he over there might want a marble table, but I will be somebody's table.
00:05:12.620
But I've been through a lot, so I tend to have, you know, a lot in common with, you know, I usually find more so, like, men that I've been around or now my now partner has been through a lot.
00:05:30.200
And I think as a female, I've gone through quite a lot that, you know, not always some females have been through just because, you know, I've been around a lot of boys and where I was gay, I was always hanging out with boys.
00:05:42.160
So now when I sit with my man now is that we've got quite a lot in common, which is great.
00:05:51.100
Like, he's probably laughing at me right now, but I can cook.
00:05:58.480
Like this week, how many times have you cooked?
00:06:03.460
He always gets breakfast, he always gets breakfast of me.
00:06:08.100
I just, you know, and, you know, if you don't like that I'm not cooking for him, I'm sorry.
00:06:20.400
I'm not coming with what I'm bringing to the table.
00:06:22.760
It's that I am the table in whatever shape or form.
00:06:25.280
And, you know, and the table might get a lick of paint and it might get new legs or something like that.
00:06:37.340
You mentioned how, like, you know, the mind is powerful and what you think of yourself.
00:06:42.840
But do you also feel like there's a point where you can also be realistic about where you are presently?
00:06:48.280
I think I've learned to be very determined because I've lost five stone, which was a massive thing.
00:06:55.660
So for a long time, I didn't think I brought anything to the table, let alone being the table, let alone thinking I was above average.
00:07:02.420
I spent a lot of my youth thinking I was well below average, especially being a big...
00:07:10.320
When I was overweight, struggling with being gay.
00:07:12.660
Well, you are below average if you're overweight.
00:07:19.500
I mean, I'm sure you can see the level of attention you get now from when you're overweight.
00:07:29.460
So I really have, like, when I show people pictures of what I used to look like, they go, wow, that can't be you.
00:07:43.420
And I think that's what makes me essentially do it because I'm saying, I kind of embody that.
00:07:49.320
But it's just like, because I almost think of this as like a job, right?
00:07:53.540
Because I personally, I think like being a wife is like applying for a job.
00:07:56.760
If you want to be married, I know not everyone does.
00:07:59.500
But it's like when you come to a job interview and you just say, well, I am the job.
00:08:10.440
Like, what if you're in this job, like, what can you do for me?
00:08:19.640
And if you don't like that, then there's the door.
00:08:21.800
But that is essentially the bare minimum that I bring to the table is that I think I'm a kind soul.
00:08:29.620
And I think that's the biggest thing that me personally, I can bring to the table.
00:08:37.980
There was so much more that I wanted to get to.
00:08:40.180
I can cook for a family of this many, like, you know, I don't want to have kids.
00:08:47.800
Or would you, if you found a guy tomorrow that you really liked, would you have kids?
00:08:55.900
So would you, if he said tomorrow, I'm ready to get married.
00:09:01.700
I mean, I would try and negotiate and try and get him to extend this.
00:09:16.680
Because no guy's going to want to like force you to have his child.
00:09:32.940
I just feel like the only part is the selfish aspect of me not wanting to have kids.
00:09:36.860
It's because I feel like I just want to live my life.
00:09:46.540
Do you feel like you're not ready to have children yet?
00:09:50.800
But like you said, I probably am if it happened.
00:09:54.320
Are you more of like, sorry, are you more of like a career person?
00:10:00.360
What do you think like will make you happier in the future?
00:10:05.440
I think having kids and a family and a husband.
00:10:10.820
And I want to be a housewife for a period of my life as well.
00:10:13.580
So I'm curious, like why not go for that first then?
00:10:18.640
Because women in my industry, the time is ticking.
00:10:26.860
I got a lady that was 55, like 50,000 subs in three months.
00:10:34.240
And maybe it's society pushing its own standards on me maybe.
00:10:40.900
Being young and beautiful, there is an advantage.
00:10:44.920
It's not like you can't have a media career when you're older.
00:10:48.340
But I feel like I still got a bit of time to play with currently for the kids thing.
00:11:17.160
Well, isn't that something we can actively practice then?
00:11:26.220
I know girls that got to like 28 and then they couldn't have kids.
00:11:32.420
Especially, like, have you been on birth control at all?
00:11:36.560
Yeah, that's one of the reasons why I came off birth control.
00:11:40.080
I just said, have you ever been on birth control?
00:11:45.460
As in, I haven't been on it for a very long time.
00:11:56.340
And what do you bring to an above average woman?
00:11:58.340
Oh, see, I think it's super arrogant to say about, you know, for like the average male in 2023, it's not hard to be above average.
00:12:07.580
Like, if you break it to categories like physically, spiritually, career-wise, friendship, relationship with family.
00:12:16.060
So in that sense, I feel like I'm above average.
00:12:19.820
You said the statistic earlier about being over six foot.
00:12:24.520
In terms of career, like, I've had a mad career.
00:12:27.980
I've got a degree for my mom in case anything else failed.
00:12:32.080
I've achieved all my goals I set out in the modeling world.
00:12:36.700
So I've achieved, it took me like six years to achieve all of them goals.
00:12:40.820
For the, for the, all the goals in the modeling.
00:12:42.620
So like, for example, like when I was 24, I used to stand in like Birmingham City Center and look at a billboard.
00:12:47.160
And before I ever did a photo shoot my whole life and say, one day I'm going to be on there.
00:12:52.780
Then it'll be certain brands I'd want to shoot for, this and that.
00:12:57.240
And they were all very like clearly written out next to my bed.
00:13:02.120
And then showed so much gratitude along the way as well.
00:13:05.140
So it's just like, because you know, when you come from nothing, like when you have something, it's like the best feeling ever.
00:13:09.460
So yeah, in that sense, I feel like I do in terms of like spiritually, I've been on my spiritual journey, found peace within myself.
00:13:17.160
My communications, A1 in relationships, things like this.
00:13:21.660
And the question you asked earlier about when I'm like, when I speak to a female, I ask them questions.
00:13:25.940
And I say like, what do you bring to the table?
00:13:30.500
But yeah, now I'm like, I've kind of like bulletproof my philosophies in regards to what I want in a relationship.
00:13:37.260
So I very much know if this person's going to be the one for me.
00:13:42.360
You know, it's funny, like everything you said was like results oriented.
00:13:45.400
So you said you're above average in looks, but if you model your top 20 percent, it looks roughly because you wouldn't get a modeling contract if you weren't.
00:14:00.280
Like if you look at dating app data, people tend to find the same types of people attractive.
00:14:04.560
But there's some people that would like hate tattoos or some people that would hate.
00:14:07.060
I mean, there's like a little bit of subjectivity to it, but not really like.
00:14:15.500
And then when you say like, I had this in my career, like you listed the accomplishment.
00:14:19.820
No, it's just interesting because when men answer, they usually answer more like results where it's like girls, it's more like feelings.