JustPearlyThings - Delusional Modern Woman Said THIIS

00:00:00.000 Coming up next.

00:00:00.900 So if you're in a friends with benefits situation that's uncommitted,

00:00:05.300 so what else is he doing?

00:00:06.800 You're a side chick.

00:00:07.880 I'm not a side chick.

00:00:09.020 I feel like a side chick is when somebody's in a relationship with somebody

00:00:11.900 and then they're doing something with somebody on the side.

00:00:15.480 No, a side chick is when you're one of many chicks.

00:00:17.480 The moment you give a guy sex days, after that, you've given him everything already.

00:00:21.860 So there's no need for him to actually make you into his girl or his wife.

00:00:26.160 The need to make you into his girl or his wife is because you possess something that no other women have.

00:00:30.200 If it's just sex and you give it away and you're not a virgin to give it to other men,

00:00:34.360 then we don't consider it as something special.

00:00:36.720 This is like every time guys have a standard, I don't think you're doing it intentionally,

00:00:40.040 but you kind of shame them for doing it.

00:00:42.060 So if a guy says, like, I don't want to date a girl with a bunch of guy friends hanging around,

00:00:45.500 I don't want to date a girl that goes to the club, you're like, oh, why would you do that?

00:00:48.480 Like, that's controlling.

00:00:49.980 And it's not controlling, it's a standard.

00:00:51.600 We were friends when we were babies.

00:00:53.360 Our mums used to make us do playdates.

00:00:55.840 This is getting worse and worse.

00:00:56.920 No, like, what you guys have done is you guys should have just got it together.

00:01:02.540 Instead, you guys have played games, gone into the world, and you still kept this connection.

00:01:06.160 He didn't want me.

00:01:07.080 He didn't want me.

00:01:08.240 And that makes it even worse because he got rid of you.

00:01:11.280 See, as a man, this is giving me all types of red flags.

00:01:13.800 Can modern women be saved?

00:01:16.780 Now, the question is, can you turn a hoe into a housewife?

00:01:25.640 Why don't we go around?

00:01:27.160 You can start and go.

00:01:28.380 With myself?

00:01:30.140 It depends.

00:01:30.980 I think if the right man is with the girl, then she can be changed into a housewife.

00:01:36.500 So, it just all depends on the individual, their influence, and the circumstances that

00:01:41.460 they've been through for their life.

00:01:43.560 But I've been with girls that may have had, like, numbers behind them.

00:01:48.260 And I think that when they was with me, I perhaps could have changed them into a housewife.

00:01:53.060 But it's not every woman, so it could be just that particular person.

00:01:57.060 But again, it goes down to the individual.

00:02:00.940 Okay, what, is there anything that a girl can't come back from?

00:02:04.280 It depends.

00:02:06.560 When you say that, that's, like, an open question.

00:02:09.620 Is there anything a girl can't come from?

00:02:11.640 It depends on the situation.

00:02:13.340 Like, because I'm not really, I don't really judge people.

00:02:17.120 So, I couldn't really say that there's something that they couldn't come back from.

00:02:19.840 But me personally, as long as I don't really ask too much questions about your past,

00:02:24.860 because once you're with me, I'm all about our future.

00:02:27.760 So, I don't really focus on what you've done before me.

00:02:29.660 So, as long as you're not carrying on with the stuff you was doing beforehand,

00:02:34.780 then it wouldn't really bother me.

00:02:36.440 And from where I'm not going to have, like, maybe a friend approach me and say,

00:02:40.220 yeah, she done this, then I don't think it's really going to be a problem.

00:02:43.980 But that's just my personal perspective on it.

00:02:46.480 Okay, what do you think?

00:02:48.040 Me?

00:02:48.980 I think many have tried.

00:02:50.400 I don't really feel like it's possible.

00:02:53.560 I believe that a leopard never changed its spots, so.

00:02:57.240 Ooh.

00:02:58.000 Ooh.

00:02:58.600 Yeah.

00:03:00.560 I'm always a believer.

00:03:03.600 I feel like, I've actually had conversations with guys about this.

00:03:07.780 And I personally haven't been in that boat,

00:03:11.140 but I know a lot of girls do end up being the housewife.

00:03:14.280 And a lot of us good girls be like, hey, what did I do wrong?

00:03:18.340 But I feel like some guys do feel like when a girl does have enough experience

00:03:24.420 and they've gone through all of that stuff,

00:03:27.880 like having to change guys or, like, sleep around.

00:03:31.780 I know I'm really, really trying for these girls.

00:03:34.020 I'm trying to play devil's advocate.

00:03:36.260 Why?

00:03:37.200 Simply because everybody deserves a second chance.

00:03:39.640 Just because you've done something when you were younger

00:03:41.240 doesn't necessarily mean you're the same person.

00:03:42.820 What about a man with 10 baby mamas?

00:03:44.240 10 baby mamas?

00:03:44.620 Does he deserve a second chance?

00:03:45.460 I thought we were talking about a woman.

00:03:46.660 Yeah, but he just had one wild year.

00:03:50.060 He impregnated 10 women.

00:03:51.620 As long as it wasn't wild, it was with me.

00:03:53.900 Because if it wasn't me, I'd be like...

00:03:55.140 No, no, it was before he met you.

00:03:56.400 Okay, I mean, today, I'm not really the type to really go for the baby for others.

00:04:04.680 You said today, yesterday?

00:04:06.320 No, no, no.

00:04:07.540 Maybe if I'm, like, 10 years from now,

00:04:09.340 maybe I might look at the situation different

00:04:11.720 because I'll be a little bit older to the point where, like,

00:04:14.060 who do you exactly think doesn't really have a child at that age?

00:04:17.740 I don't.

00:04:17.980 Right?

00:04:18.400 Oh.

00:04:20.200 Why do you say that?

00:04:21.420 Because I don't and neither does he.

00:04:23.120 What, that you both don't have kids?

00:04:24.340 Nope.

00:04:24.640 See, that's not very common, though.

00:04:26.380 About five or six or seven of my friends are all in the same boat.

00:04:29.860 No kids.

00:04:30.720 All professional.

00:04:31.540 All make money.

00:04:32.580 All.

00:04:32.600 Like, majority of people I know have kids.

00:04:35.240 I'm, like, literally, like, I'm, like, one of the few that don't.

00:04:38.440 I'm, like, that goldfish in the tank.

00:04:39.820 It's, like, how come you haven't got kids yet?

00:04:41.240 Why don't, why do you?

00:04:43.060 Not in that way, but, like, I'm not in a position to want kids.

00:04:46.520 Yeah, so I just think that it's just probably where you're looking

00:04:49.060 because if you step out a little bit further,

00:04:50.660 a lot of people actually don't have kids or they don't have baby mums or...

00:04:53.860 Or they lie.

00:04:54.780 50% of women that hit 30 are single and childless, actually.

00:04:59.420 Oh, they're childless.

00:05:01.380 50%.

00:05:01.820 For the people that I know, to my knowledge, I'm going from what I know.

00:05:05.840 Doesn't mean they didn't kill you.

00:05:06.920 Yeah.

00:05:07.500 Right.

00:05:09.460 I just know a lot of people lie.

00:05:11.120 So you might feel like somebody doesn't have a child

00:05:13.200 or they have a child and they didn't know they had a child.

00:05:16.420 Okay.

00:05:19.880 Why don't you go?

00:05:21.860 Turn a hoe to a housewife.

00:05:23.280 No.

00:05:24.480 Why not?

00:05:24.960 I think it depends on your definition of a housewife.

00:05:29.500 But if you're talking in its traditional way, I would say no.

00:05:33.560 Okay.

00:05:33.860 I think too much experience, a lot of negative ones,

00:05:37.480 I think for someone who would fit the definition of a hoe,

00:05:41.100 I don't think, I think by then they're just damaged goods.

00:05:43.900 But what is a hoe, though?

00:05:45.020 Yeah.

00:05:45.600 Yeah, that's a good question.

00:05:46.820 That's my next question.

00:05:48.020 So why don't you two answer and then we'll talk about that.

00:05:51.300 My definition of a hoe is a girl that's slept around a lot

00:05:53.620 indiscriminately.

00:05:57.900 I couldn't necessarily put a number on it.

00:06:00.380 But I'd say a girl who's not really been concerned about

00:06:04.560 whether she's got any connection with the guys that she's been sleeping with,

00:06:07.260 she's just been having a good time, racking up the body count.

00:06:11.000 I would consider that to be a hoe.

00:06:13.080 Okay.

00:06:13.260 Yeah, I feel like you can easily change to one as all you need is probably just a change

00:06:21.940 of culture because that's what you'll have to do first thing when you change your culture

00:06:26.760 and stay somewhere else.

00:06:29.320 So you do think you can turn a hoe into a housewife?

00:06:32.000 Definitely for the time being, for sure.

00:06:36.520 I like that optimism.

00:06:38.400 For how long?

00:06:40.500 A lifetime?

00:06:41.720 Not lifetime, but definitely for the first two months.

00:06:50.320 So you can turn into a housewife for two months and then her hoe comes back?

00:06:55.500 She's like the streets are calling.

00:06:56.360 Back to the streets.

00:06:58.460 Okay.

00:06:59.380 No, you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

00:07:02.840 No.

00:07:03.560 No?

00:07:03.980 No.

00:07:04.880 Can you turn a hoe into a wife?

00:07:06.880 Yeah, it happens all the time.

00:07:09.560 Yeah, because then if you look at all these rappers, they're doing it all the time.

00:07:12.460 Yeah, but if you look at rappers as your idol, then you're idolizing celebrities.

00:07:16.240 We don't look to rappers as our...

00:07:17.840 Of course, but in terms of looking at people who are turning hoes into housewives,

00:07:22.580 they're the majority of people who are doing it.

00:07:24.520 How long do the marriages last?

00:07:26.360 Probably not long, because if you're looking at Kanye West and King Kevin, that didn't last long at all.

00:07:30.760 So then these are very bad examples to use.

00:07:33.040 Very bad examples.

00:07:33.820 Then she's not a wife.

00:07:35.100 Yeah, she's just short term.

00:07:36.620 She was a wife, but she's not a wife.

00:07:40.380 That's true.

00:07:40.840 Maybe it depends on how people interpret the definition of a hoe then,

00:07:44.480 because then some people might feel like certain things that women have done in their life,

00:07:47.480 that's not really a hoe.

00:07:49.400 Yeah, let's ask the men.

00:07:51.540 What do you...

00:07:52.260 When...

00:07:52.720 When has a girl become a hoe?

00:07:58.460 A girl becomes a hoe when she has to start lying about how many people she slept with.

00:08:02.300 Automatically, you're a hoe then.

00:08:03.560 Because for the moment you start lying, you're not even being true to yourself.

00:08:06.920 So that's when it starts.

00:08:08.280 So the moment you have to start lying to yourself and lying to other people, you're a hoe.

00:08:11.300 So if she is honest and says 50, she's not a hoe?

00:08:15.700 Oh no, she's still a hoe.

00:08:17.140 But she's just an honest hoe.

00:08:20.460 We respect the honest ones as well.

00:08:22.720 Yeah, no, I'm still not going to wife her, but I respect the honesty.

00:08:25.400 So here's the thing.

00:08:26.500 I mean, we said before, a woman has the right to choose.

00:08:28.880 A woman has the right to wear what she wants.

00:08:31.060 A woman has autonomy and sovereignty over her body.

00:08:33.600 A woman can have consensual sex wherever she chooses to be.

00:08:36.240 But those are the woman's rights and men have our own rights.

00:08:38.500 And it doesn't mean we have to take it for that.

00:08:40.560 So what we're trying to say is, women can do whatever they want.

00:08:43.380 We don't judge you personally, but us as men have certain standards.

00:08:47.060 And we don't want to be with a woman that slept, for example, with my friend or a friend's friend or something like that.

00:08:51.660 Men and women see sex differently.

00:08:53.880 A lot of women argue that they don't and they treat it the same.

00:08:57.000 But you women still don't mind seeing a guy that sees a lot of other girls, where us men, we detest that.

00:09:01.540 But what if, like, I feel like the reason why I feel like I'm standing for certain women is because what if they're psychological problems?

00:09:12.560 What if you are judging somebody from the cover of what you see them as, but they actually are somebody that just deserves good love?

00:09:19.280 What if it's somebody that is willing to change their colors for you?

00:09:22.440 I think that's a feminine point of view because we always try to change men.

00:09:26.440 Okay.

00:09:27.020 But, like, from the man's point of view, it's like, once you've lost your purity, it's gone.

00:09:31.380 But, okay, so somebody could judge me, per se.

00:09:33.620 They might look at me and be like, okay, I don't like the way that she dresses.

00:09:36.340 I don't like her point of views.

00:09:37.500 But if it was a thing where you sat down and we was to have, like, a night out, just me and you as girls, and I told you about my past and the reason why I've done certain things.

00:09:45.880 And, like, I'm ready to, like, give myself to somebody that I really trust and really love, do you not believe I deserve a second chance?

00:09:52.400 I mean, I think no one deserves anything.

00:09:55.200 Fair enough.

00:09:56.060 Fair enough.

00:09:56.180 I think you kind of, it's like, what do you qualify for?

00:09:58.780 And so it's, if you, you know, did certain things in the past, like, I just think you're eliminated from certain guys.

00:10:06.080 But don't worry, one in three men are virgins or haven't had sex in the past year.

00:10:09.140 There's someone.

00:10:10.080 There's a girl.

00:10:10.500 There's always someone.

00:10:11.320 I just think there's a lot of onus on the men put that we have to accept bad behaviour or previous stuff.

00:10:17.460 We, no one is, no one has to allow anyone's previous history.

00:10:22.240 That's why if you've ever done a crime in the past before that, you know, if you go for a job, some jobs you can't go for, and that's just the way it is.

00:10:28.500 So I think a lot of times women want us to be counsellors and be psychotherapists for their previous trauma, which we had no part in.

00:10:38.000 And that, and that is fine if the guy that wants you is prepared to take that, but you shouldn't go into the world thinking that anyone has to be there to, to fix any of your.

00:10:47.020 What I'm trying to figure out is why men deserve, most men always get looked upon like, like they're not a hoe.

00:10:55.660 Why is it different for women than it is for men?

00:10:57.680 Because men and women are different.

00:10:59.320 They are.

00:10:59.860 Because they are.

00:11:00.540 Because it's easy for us to get sex.

00:11:02.940 The world doesn't like think highly of you if you do what's easy.

00:11:06.840 And men getting sex is hard.

00:11:08.520 So if they do what's hard, it's valued.

00:11:10.640 If we do what's easy, it's not.

00:11:13.040 So for you, for example, for you as a lady, you're a very pretty attractive black woman.

00:11:18.920 And on Instagram, I haven't seen your Instagram, but I'm sure if you put on your Instagram every single day that you was lonely and you wanted some company, I'm sure you wouldn't have any problems with people messaging you.

00:11:30.200 Or if you asked, you asked for people to take you out.

00:11:32.200 But if one of us did that and said that we wanted sex, we would probably have our Instagram shut down.

00:11:36.900 Now the difference with us is if, if, if in order for me to sleep with a hundred women, especially quality, beautiful women, I would have to have some type of value about myself.

00:11:47.720 In order for you to sleep with a hundred men, you don't have to do anything, but just say it and you can just walk down the road and you would find men that will sleep with you.

00:11:55.760 So that's why.

00:11:57.340 Well, what about men that lie?

00:11:58.780 What about men?

00:11:59.640 Okay, for example, I'm a pretty girl.

00:12:01.080 If I do say I'm lonely on my Instagram and somebody does come or approach me in a way where like they're coming across as they're good and then they've lied to me or made me feel like they were going to do something good in my life.

00:12:12.660 And then they turned out that it wasn't that or I ended up giving myself to somebody.

00:12:16.540 And now they're like, yeah, I don't want to do you anymore.

00:12:19.420 So now that's added on a number to the previous guys that I've done before.

00:12:22.640 And it comes across that I'm a home and realistically, that wasn't the situation.

00:12:25.660 Yeah, but it's like, how many times are you going to get bamboozled?

00:12:28.260 What?

00:12:28.540 Like, I think most guys like, okay, so like if I'm a home too, they're like, all right.

00:12:32.600 But like when you're like 20, 30, you got bamboozled by all of them?

00:12:36.440 What if I'm a hopeless romantic?

00:12:37.820 No, you make bad decisions.

00:12:39.680 So why does it necessarily have to be bad?

00:12:41.340 Because you're slept with 10 or how many people and nothing's come of it.

00:12:44.920 So for me as a man, all those 10 previous men you slept with, they don't add anything to me.

00:12:49.560 They're just men that have used you and now left you for me.

00:12:51.900 So what you're in bed with you doing is vetting those guys better.

00:12:55.960 Your job as a woman is to vet the bullshit.

00:12:58.000 That is not our job.

00:12:59.120 You need to mitigate these men that come into your life and say, right, which one is?

00:13:02.280 Is he serious?

00:13:02.880 Is he not serious?

00:13:03.480 If you give up the goods every single time a guy takes your number, takes you out for something to eat, that's up to you.

00:13:09.780 What about the ones that lie though?

00:13:10.840 No, but this is also up to you because you have to, you have to differentiate between the men that lie and the men which don't lie.

00:13:16.020 If you cannot separate the good men from the bad men, whose fault is that?

00:13:20.960 That's not, do you understand what I'm trying to say?

00:13:22.200 But sometimes it's kind of hard to tell.

00:13:24.020 We're not going to like sit here and be like, that's bullshit.

00:13:27.240 Come on.

00:13:27.600 That's bullshit.

00:13:28.300 As a girl, as a girl, you, you know, deep down, you just, you're just trying to sell, you just want to change them.

00:13:33.560 I hear you.

00:13:34.260 You, you know, deep down, which guys in a room you walk into, you knew which ones are getting laid.

00:13:38.140 You know, which ones aren't.

00:13:39.840 But they love it anyway.

00:13:42.380 But the thing is, like, we want the guys that get laid.

00:13:45.060 We don't want the guys that no one else wants.

00:13:46.600 Not necessarily.

00:13:47.460 What if I'm not trying to get laid?

00:13:49.200 What if it's a thing where I'm literally trying to know you as a person?

00:13:51.960 Do you want to date someone that no one else wants to date?

00:13:55.440 No.

00:13:56.500 Girls love the bad boy.

00:13:57.580 I kind of do though.

00:13:58.600 I don't.

00:13:58.980 I don't.

00:14:00.340 So you just said it yourself.

00:14:01.600 So you're going, so you're going for guys that you already know that a lot of women want.

00:14:05.160 So these are, these are men that are obviously they want it.

00:14:08.160 They, they, they're high value in the sense that a lot of women want them.

00:14:10.780 Whenever you go for these types of men, you have to understand you, you are just one.

00:14:14.240 You can potentially be one of many and you don't want, you don't like being, you don't mind being one of many.

00:14:18.320 There's probably some guys across the years that have always probably tried to holler at you, tried to take you out.

00:14:22.740 And you haven't given any time to these guys, these ordinary, ordinary.

00:14:25.920 And I don't know, but it's fine.

00:14:27.340 But what I'm trying to say, all of these guys have watched you deal with all of these guys one by one, one by one.

00:14:32.320 And it never amounts to nothing.

00:14:33.920 At some point, you need to say to yourself, maybe I am going for the wrong types of guy.

00:14:38.020 Maybe this guy is not right for me.

00:14:39.440 Maybe I need to stop going for what I like.

00:14:41.040 And maybe I need to start going for what makes sense.

00:14:43.540 But this is the thing with females, I think.

00:14:45.440 I feel like they don't get to that stage until they're maybe more mature.

00:14:49.320 Like, I feel like.

00:14:50.500 No, they're running out of time.

00:14:53.200 No, you'll never run out of time.

00:14:54.360 And the guys, they want, don't want them.

00:14:55.820 That's what happens.

00:14:56.980 When their options start narrowing, that's when they start being a bit more pragmatic about what guy makes sense.

00:15:01.620 Until then, they don't.

00:15:02.580 Well, you have till what, 35 for geriatric pregnancy?

00:15:06.120 So it's like, and unless you have $20,000 to put down and maybe get a kid out of it, maybe.

00:15:12.700 Like, you got to, at like 30, I feel like people start getting desperate.

00:15:17.340 I feel like when females get to the age of 30, that's when they start looking at the guys around them.

00:15:21.320 And they'll be like, you know what?

00:15:22.540 I'm tired of being abused or tired of going through the same old story.

00:15:27.180 So, do you know what?

00:15:27.760 Now, I might go for the good guy that may not have wanted me beforehand.

00:15:31.500 I feel like the modern day kind of girls are a bit different though.

00:15:34.580 It doesn't necessarily mean that they're looking for a child or another husband.

00:15:38.280 Sometimes they're literally trying to get their money, build their next generation.

00:15:41.980 It doesn't necessarily have to mean a child that comes from them.

00:15:44.400 They could adopt.

00:15:45.140 They can do other options.

00:15:46.360 It's not just, I have to have a child.

00:15:48.300 They can, but the least happy demographic of women is women over the ages of 45 that make between,

00:15:52.960 I think it's like between $50,000 to $70,000 per year and are single and childless.

00:16:00.460 Like, life gets pretty, life gets pretty, what?

00:16:02.560 Are they bothered about being childless?

00:16:03.580 Yeah, they're the least happy demographic.

00:16:05.160 Like, life gets pretty lonely after the age of 45.

00:16:07.760 Like, I don't think as women we really understand how different the world treats us because we're

00:16:11.860 pretty women.

00:16:13.520 And because one day your looks are going to be gone.

00:16:15.660 You're going to get no attention from men.

00:16:17.620 Like, 40, 40 to, no men are lining up to date 50-year-olds.

00:16:21.400 It's a good thing I got personality then, isn't it?

00:16:23.320 That won't work.

00:16:24.200 That won't work.

00:16:24.660 We don't care about personality.

00:16:25.400 Guys, guys, guys.

00:16:26.380 Do you care about a girl?

00:16:28.020 If a girl doesn't look good, do you care about a personality?

00:16:30.240 Of course not.

00:16:31.620 What are you guys looking for?

00:16:32.280 But if you're trying to wife someone, why would you not care about their personality?

00:16:34.760 No.

00:16:35.000 No, I said if she, I'm careful with my words.

00:16:37.500 If she doesn't look good, you have to start with looks.

00:16:40.440 Not necessarily.

00:16:41.460 For women.

00:16:42.160 For women.

00:16:42.720 You're looking at it from a female point of view.

00:16:44.300 For the men, it starts with looks.

00:16:46.560 It starts with sex.

00:16:47.280 So, you have to understand something.

00:16:49.040 Before you try to speak, you have to understand and accept what we're saying to you.

00:16:52.180 It starts with looks.

00:16:53.120 It does.

00:16:53.680 It does.

00:16:54.320 It's an initial attraction.

00:16:55.440 It does.

00:16:55.860 Because before I even come and get your number, or even want to speak to you, I've assessed

00:17:00.340 the way you look.

00:17:01.780 So, if I didn't like the way you look, why would I come and speak to you?

00:17:04.600 In order for me to know your personality, that would involve us having to work together

00:17:07.580 or be in a scenario where we can speak enough for me to know your personality.

00:17:10.840 If a guy comes up to you out of the blue and tries to speak to you, you're going to be

00:17:14.600 like, oh my God, he's got such a handsome personality.

00:17:16.680 You don't know his personality.

00:17:17.780 All you know is the guy that's approaching you and whether or not you want to accept his

00:17:20.760 approach or not, listen to him or just give him air.

00:17:23.600 So, your first attraction is based upon, in that aspect, in a nightclub or outside setting,

00:17:30.100 based upon attraction because you don't know what the personal personality is.

00:17:33.640 And for females, I feel like a guy has to give a certain image before you even take him

00:17:38.520 into consideration.

00:17:39.940 Yeah.

00:17:41.520 Are you pressed?

00:17:42.500 I'm not pressed.

00:17:43.560 And that's the thing girls always like to say, are you pressed or has someone hurt you?

00:17:46.600 But no, that's just the reality of it.

00:17:48.920 Like, for me, I'm a short guy.

00:17:50.120 I'm five foot four.

00:17:51.060 For me, if I approach a girl in a club, I'm not likely to get the same reception that my

00:17:56.740 brother would over there because he's taller than me and he's more built.

00:18:00.020 Do you get me?

00:18:00.360 I'm short and I'm small.

00:18:01.480 So, it's like, it's going to be harder for a man like me to move to a girl because she's

00:18:05.400 going to look at me and be like, that's not really my type.

00:18:07.760 She won't even give me the initial, like...

00:18:10.840 I don't know, the initial...

00:18:12.400 But you see my brother, yeah?

00:18:13.340 You see that type of, that blatant, look, you just assessed yourself and you said, right,

00:18:16.940 these are my strengths, this is whatever.

00:18:18.700 Men, we have no problem in doing that.

00:18:20.580 Do you understand?

00:18:21.020 We can look at another guy and say, right, this guy, this is in comparison to me or whatever.

00:18:26.380 His strengths are my weaknesses or my strengths and his weaknesses, right?

00:18:29.720 Women will look at themselves and they won't do that same assessment.

00:18:33.120 And it's that little bit of, you have to have humility and humbleness and you'll get

00:18:37.540 better results.

00:18:38.220 But us men, we can do that.

00:18:41.060 I feel like women can too.

00:18:43.000 Every woman just says they're 10.

00:18:44.960 No.

00:18:45.380 Huh?

00:18:46.580 When you ask a woman what about them, I'm a 10.

00:18:49.000 Not every woman.

00:18:49.500 I feel like there's a little animosity against women here.

00:18:52.280 Okay.

00:18:52.860 Sorry, Pearl.

00:18:53.380 Can I just say something?

00:18:54.320 Okay.

00:18:54.800 So, before...

00:18:55.620 I want to tell you a little bit about me.

00:18:57.300 I have three sisters.

00:18:59.360 They're all married, all with child.

00:19:00.960 My mum and dad are together.

00:19:02.380 They've been together for over 40 years.

00:19:04.320 I come from an African traditional upbringing.

00:19:06.220 My dad is a chief of all chiefs.

00:19:07.440 He was a diplomat, very educated man.

00:19:09.500 I have three nieces that I all directly look after.

00:19:12.920 When it comes to women, I'm a protector.

00:19:14.820 I'm a lover of my women.

00:19:15.860 So, we take it quite insulting when a woman says, oh, we feel as if that you're any type

00:19:20.860 of hate towards women.

00:19:21.760 Because having a criticism or...

00:19:23.860 Not hate.

00:19:24.080 No, but what I'm trying to...

00:19:25.020 Any type of animosity or anything, that's not what we're here for.

00:19:27.380 What we're here for is to show how much love we have for women.

00:19:30.020 In actual fact, we need to have these conversations.

00:19:31.680 So, I take it quite personally when people try to create that image or perpetuate that

00:19:35.180 image.

00:19:35.480 Because if you don't know, I'm actually very much supportive of women.

00:19:38.520 And we protect our women over here.

00:19:40.220 So, I just had to say that.

00:19:43.020 Did you know that women find 80% of men is unattractive?

00:19:47.680 I didn't know that.

00:19:49.280 So, a lot of...

00:19:49.880 Have you ever heard the girl say, like, medium ugly?

00:19:52.260 Like, oh, I gave him a chance.

00:19:53.580 He was medium ugly.

00:19:54.200 I say cute ugly.

00:19:55.560 It's like, no sis, that was just your level.

00:19:57.600 Because women find 80% of men is unattractive.

00:20:03.140 And the question is, if you find a guy attractive, he's probably the top 20% of men.

00:20:08.080 Are you top 20% of women?

00:20:10.500 And that's what we have nowadays.

00:20:11.900 And you can get this data from dating apps.

00:20:13.500 Because women only swipe right between 5% and like 20% of the time.

00:20:16.640 And if you ask 100% of women what they want in a man, they list 20% of men.

00:20:20.160 And that's where you have eternal, like, side chicks, basically.

00:20:28.920 Okay.

00:20:30.600 So, we agree.

00:20:32.060 You can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

00:20:35.040 When does a girl become a hoe?

00:20:39.440 You're shocked.

00:20:40.060 Do you want to take that?

00:20:43.100 I think to a certain degree, it depends on who you're asking, right?

00:20:47.200 I'm asking you.

00:20:47.960 You're asking me for me.

00:20:50.160 You can't skate the...

00:20:51.580 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:20:54.440 Yeah, like I said, a girl that just sleeps around.

00:20:56.180 She's not interested in making a connection with a guy.

00:20:58.480 And she's got the mindset that she can be like men where she can have sex without having any kind of emotional attachment to the guy.

00:21:05.460 You know?

00:21:06.140 And she's not concerned about racking up guy after guy after guy.

00:21:10.640 And to me, I consider that to be hoe-ish behavior.

00:21:12.460 It's not behavior of a woman who's really interested in the long term.

00:21:16.740 She's more interested in the short term.

00:21:18.280 Do you ask girls what their body count is?

00:21:20.620 No.

00:21:21.360 No?

00:21:21.840 No.

00:21:22.720 Do you?

00:21:23.320 No.

00:21:24.560 I never have.

00:21:25.420 I don't feel like that's a good question to ask because if you do, it's always going to come back with a negative response or a lie.

00:21:32.040 But Pearl, the reason I don't ask is because we don't have to ask.

00:21:35.000 So there's certain questions you can ask and you know the body count.

00:21:37.800 There's certain reactions that women with high body counts give off.

00:21:41.980 And there's certain energy.

00:21:43.060 So we can just already just, we know.

00:21:45.880 So I want to ask the girls.

00:21:47.860 Do you feel like, because as women, I think we know a little bit more behind the scenes than men typically do.

00:21:54.720 Do you think that men can tell a girl's body count based off of like your friends and your friends' friends?

00:22:01.400 To a certain extent.

00:22:03.340 Yeah?

00:22:03.900 To a certain extent.

00:22:05.080 What extent?

00:22:06.340 In a way where there's a lot of girls that I knew back in the day that had no intention of sleeping around.

00:22:14.360 But maybe they might have been with friends that have possibly done all of that.

00:22:18.120 And then it makes it seem as if like, you do that shit too.

00:22:21.900 Sorry, am I allowed to swear?

00:22:22.740 Sorry.

00:22:23.300 You do that stuff too.

00:22:24.720 So it kind of gets looked upon like you're one of them.

00:22:29.440 So no.

00:22:30.720 But like.

00:22:31.120 But at the same time, birds of a feather do flock together.

00:22:33.200 They do.

00:22:33.840 But why can't.

00:22:34.560 It doesn't necessarily have to mean that the girl's doing the same thing.

00:22:36.760 It doesn't necessarily mean it.

00:22:37.840 But sometimes you have to carry yourself with the kind of people that you want to be like.

00:22:43.780 I don't know how to say it.

00:22:45.620 So if you're with the hoes, you're a ho.

00:22:48.120 So when the police pulls over your car, if he pulls over your car and three people in the car have known to for drugs, you're going to get searched as well.

00:22:56.080 That's because you're in a car with three people that are known for drugs.

00:22:59.160 You know, a lot of times in your area, there can be one good boy.

00:23:02.500 You know what I mean?

00:23:03.040 And he has some friends.

00:23:04.340 But just because they're friends, you all stay together.

00:23:06.420 And your mum might say to you, stop hanging around with those friends.

00:23:08.540 Stop hanging around with those friends because they're not like you.

00:23:11.100 But you hang around with those friends because they're your friends.

00:23:13.300 Whenever you get stopped or whatever happens, you're going to be.

00:23:15.960 They're going to treat the same.

00:23:18.880 And that's because a lot of the times, mud sticks.

00:23:21.660 So if you don't want to be known as a ho or you don't want people to treat you like one,

00:23:27.300 then if you hang around with girls that are a lot of hoes, then it makes it a lot harder for you to be the one that's actually different.

00:23:32.260 You know what I'm trying to say to you?

00:23:32.960 So it doesn't mean you're a ho if you're hanging around with hoes.

00:23:35.240 There can always be one good girl that generally is a good girl.

00:23:37.960 But by rule of thumb, you might not want to hang around with people which don't have the same type of interests or activities as you.

00:23:46.260 That's me personally.

00:23:49.100 I hear that.

00:23:49.840 What are you doing when they all go out and they're upstairs in a room with man them?

00:23:54.360 What are you doing?

00:23:54.700 You're downstairs.

00:23:55.560 Playing solitaire.

00:23:57.580 I was about to say play Nintendo Wii.

00:23:59.320 No, no, playing solitaire.

00:24:00.460 Sometimes you're just minding your business.

00:24:02.060 And maybe when it comes to like having sex with boys, that might not be the same topics that I might not be into.

00:24:07.940 But like behind closed doors when we're not talking about boys and we're not talking about sex, they are like typical topics that are like, yeah, this is why I'm your friend.

00:24:16.680 So whenever a girl gets a man, most girls have always got one ho friend.

00:24:20.300 Most girls always got one ho friend and they know they're ho and they don't like to admit they're ho, but they're their ho friend.

00:24:26.620 And whenever they get a new man, a lot of the times the man will clock this ho friend and he'll say certain things and he'll be like, that your friend, that your friend.

00:24:35.240 He's not trying to call your friend a ho, but you don't want to call your friend a ho to your man.

00:24:39.280 But we all know, we all know.

00:24:41.580 And, you know, as a guy, we always have to deal with that.

00:24:44.480 And a lot of times those friends don't tend to hang around for too long after that person gets a man or whatever.

00:24:49.000 It's because your whole life doesn't represent what they live anymore.

00:24:52.740 And I'm trying to say to you, she wants to be going out and doing certain things.

00:24:55.680 And now you've got a man and maybe your man don't want you to be there because she's rightly single.

00:24:59.280 She can go out and, you know, interact with other men and be taken to tables.

00:25:03.380 But if you're out with her now, you automatically put yourself in a predicament where other men can now start speaking to you.

00:25:09.640 And if she is a ho and known for being a ho out in the club, every single guy in there is going to see you as a ho.

00:25:15.000 And there's nothing worse than being seen as something that you're not and people treating you like that.

00:25:19.100 And your man hearing that, oh, your girl's out with some ho in a nightclub.

00:25:23.540 Do you guys think it's appropriate to go out in a relationship?

00:25:28.360 Yeah.

00:25:29.140 Why not?

00:25:30.140 Is that a bad thing?

00:25:31.100 No, no, no.

00:25:33.100 Is that a thing now?

00:25:34.100 It's how you conduct yourself when you're out.

00:25:35.100 Well, what are you going out for?

00:25:36.100 What?

00:25:37.100 You got a man.

00:25:38.100 I can't let my hair down for five minutes.

00:25:39.100 It's like, why are you fishing if you don't want to fish?

00:25:42.100 But who said I was fishing?

00:25:43.100 I was having a good time.

00:25:45.100 So what'd you go out for yourself?

00:25:47.100 To have a good time.

00:25:48.100 Yeah.

00:25:48.600 Is that, no, seriously, is that a thing now?

00:25:50.100 I mean, that's just, I'm just telling you guys how men view it.

00:25:53.100 Like, I'm just, I'm just being honest.

00:25:55.100 Like, I listen to guys talk all the time.

00:25:57.100 Like, if you're going out all the time, it's like, you can say like, I'm not a hoe, right?

00:26:03.100 But if all your friends are hoes, you're going out to the club all the time.

00:26:06.100 It's like, you're dressing like a hoe, acting like a hoe.

00:26:09.100 It's like, how are they supposed to think you're not a hoe?

00:26:15.100 Lost four words.

00:26:16.100 Mic drop.

00:26:18.100 We'll call it that.

00:26:19.100 It's like, it's like, it's the same thing with a guy.

00:26:21.100 If he, if he hangs around a bunch of friends that all cheat, if he, if he looks like he's cheating,

00:26:26.100 if he's acting like he's cheating.

00:26:28.100 You're going to assume he's cheating.

00:26:29.100 Yeah.

00:26:30.100 And you'll fall in love because women love being cheated on.

00:26:32.100 Well then if you don't trust your partner, that is a problem in itself.

00:26:36.100 Okay.

00:26:37.100 It does have a big, trust is a big thing.

00:26:40.100 A big thing.

00:26:41.100 So how does a relationship work without it?

00:26:44.100 I mean, you, yeah.

00:26:45.100 But like, why would you put yourself in that situation?

00:26:47.100 Like, I just think if you truly respect the guy you're with, like, you wouldn't want to do anything that would make him look bad.

00:26:52.100 And it makes a guy like, like, as a woman, you want to make your man look good.

00:26:56.100 Like that's your job.

00:26:57.100 And so when you're dressing like a hoe taking, going out with your whole friends to the club where they're all hooking up with guys.

00:27:03.100 And then you're saying, oh, they're all doing it, but not me.

00:27:05.100 I promise I won't flirt with anyone, but I'm going to the one place where we're bound to get hit on.

00:27:09.100 It's like, you look bad as a girl and you make him look bad.

00:27:13.100 So we're typically, we're talking about girls that have ho friends.

00:27:16.100 And when they go out, not just girls in general, we're just talking about the hoes when they go out.

00:27:21.100 What else are you going to a club for?

00:27:23.100 I just find, yeah, I've literally never heard.

00:27:27.100 Everybody, I guess, has different points of views.

00:27:30.100 Well, meaning men have different points of views when it comes to women.

00:27:33.100 But that, that is very new for me, I must say.

00:27:35.100 I think if it's new for you, then I always ask myself, like, what types of men have you had?

00:27:42.100 Like, what types of boyfriends did you have?

00:27:44.100 That's why I said I've been single for 10 years because I don't go out with men and I don't do that.

00:27:48.100 So, are you, do you like men?

00:27:52.100 I like men.

00:27:53.100 No, no, I'm not.

00:27:54.100 Are you, are you, are you celibate?

00:27:56.100 I'm not celibate, but.

00:27:58.100 So you haven't been single for 10 years?

00:27:59.100 I have been single for 10 years.

00:28:00.100 Have you had sex in the last 10 years?

00:28:01.100 I have. That doesn't necessarily mean I was in a relationship.

00:28:03.100 Okay. So, so, but you see, this is the thing that women do.

00:28:07.100 So what you was initially, I was thinking, Oh, for 10 years, she's out.

00:28:10.100 I've been out the game. She is, you know, no, you haven't.

00:28:13.100 Cause you've been having sex.

00:28:14.100 Like, so you've been in the game enough to able to have sex, but not in the game enough.

00:28:17.100 Not enough to secure a man a proper relationship.

00:28:20.100 So you know how to have sex.

00:28:21.100 And this is what I said.

00:28:22.100 Women can have sex any day of the, any day of the, of the week.

00:28:25.100 And you look to me a little bit funny.

00:28:27.100 You've been able in the last 10 years.

00:28:28.100 You cannot, you cannot keep a man.

00:28:30.100 Okay, cool.

00:28:31.100 Wait, I can't keep a man because I haven't been in a relationship for 10 years.

00:28:36.100 Because I've had sex.

00:28:37.100 Well, well, yeah, it just, it just means that the men you want, don't want you.

00:28:41.100 They just want you for sex.

00:28:42.100 Yeah. Like that's you guys is understanding.

00:28:44.100 Then I'll take it.

00:28:45.100 No, I want you to explain.

00:28:46.100 Okay.

00:28:47.100 So put it this way.

00:28:48.100 I have dated men and they have not given me or made me feel like I was safe enough to

00:28:53.100 be in a relationship.

00:28:54.100 Let's just play that for number one.

00:28:56.100 Number two.

00:28:57.100 Yes, I have had sex.

00:28:58.100 That doesn't necessarily mean that I've had sex with multiple men.

00:29:01.100 Doesn't necessarily mean that the person that I've had sex with, I want to be in a relationship

00:29:05.100 with them.

00:29:06.100 That's can, that can still be my choice and that can still be okay.

00:29:09.100 Of course.

00:29:10.100 So when I say it's okay for me to be single for 10 years without a relationship, I think that's very normal.

00:29:19.100 So I'm just, you're right.

00:29:20.100 It's normal nowadays.

00:29:21.100 Like nowadays it's not uncommon, but it's because modern women are side chicks.

00:29:25.100 I'm not a side chicks.

00:29:26.100 He was, he was a 10 years old.

00:29:27.100 Who said that?

00:29:28.100 Because okay.

00:29:29.100 I'm a side.

00:29:30.100 It's, it's, this is how relationships, I'm not even saying this like to be me.

00:29:33.100 It's just, this is how relationships start nowadays.

00:29:35.100 They start like, how many times have you heard of a situationship?

00:29:38.100 So, and it seems like you've been in a situationship.

00:29:41.100 I haven't.

00:29:42.100 Okay.

00:29:43.100 Then what, what else would you call sleeping with someone?

00:29:45.100 Friends with benefits?

00:29:46.100 Is that not?

00:29:47.100 Situationship.

00:29:48.100 Situationship.

00:29:49.100 Okay.

00:29:50.100 And so, so if you're in a friends with benefits situation, that's uncommitted.

00:29:54.100 So what else is he doing?

00:29:56.100 You're a side chick.

00:29:57.100 I'm not a side chick.

00:29:58.100 I feel like a side chick is when somebody's in a relationship with somebody and then they're

00:30:02.100 doing something with somebody on the side.

00:30:04.100 Okay.

00:30:05.100 No, a side chick is when you're one of many chicks.

00:30:07.100 Let me tell you, as a man, as a man, as a man, this, this thing of where you women have

00:30:11.100 to believe there has to be a main in order for me to be a side chick.

00:30:14.100 It's not, it's a, it's a crazy phenomenon.

00:30:15.100 If you are one of a selection, you're a side chick.

00:30:18.100 That's it.

00:30:19.100 Stop thinking that he has to have a main one where he looks after.

00:30:21.100 You're just one of many.

00:30:22.100 I'm not, but I understand, I understand what you're saying, but I'm not.

00:30:25.100 Okay.

00:30:26.100 Okay.

00:30:27.100 If you were sleeping with a man and he wasn't your, he wasn't your boyfriend.

00:30:29.100 Yeah.

00:30:30.100 He wasn't your husband.

00:30:31.100 Yeah.

00:30:32.100 Yeah.

00:30:33.100 And you wasn't, and he wasn't, and he wasn't, yes, he's single and so are you.

00:30:36.100 And therefore you just, you was a side chick.

00:30:38.100 Doing grown things.

00:30:39.100 See, see what you're trying to do.

00:30:40.100 You're trying to move the goalpost.

00:30:42.100 You keep trying to change it.

00:30:43.100 Now we're doing, yes, it's grown things, but those grown things still amount to you being

00:30:46.100 a side chick and not his main woman.

00:30:48.100 And that's your opinion.

00:30:50.100 And that's okay.

00:30:51.100 And that's okay.

00:30:53.100 This is the majority of women in this day and age.

00:30:55.100 I'd say this started from.

00:30:56.100 Can I ask you over there?

00:30:57.100 Yeah.

00:30:58.100 I'm not saying it's not, I'm not saying it's uncommon.

00:31:00.100 Yeah.

00:31:01.100 It's like, that's how, I mean, that's how most relationships start.

00:31:03.100 When I ask people, like it usually starts as a situation ship.

00:31:06.100 Most women start as side chicks in the West, I will say in the West.

00:31:10.100 And then a lot of the time they put pressure on the guy to get into a relationship.

00:31:13.100 Yeah.

00:31:14.100 But we can see, in case you don't know, this is, this is a phrase that people say, okay.

00:31:19.100 Um, women control sex, men control access to relationships.

00:31:22.100 So unless you're going to get down on one knee and give me a gold Rolex and ask me to

00:31:26.100 be a husband, then what you have to do is you have to fall in your femininity and long

00:31:30.100 for me to ask you to be my girlfriend.

00:31:32.100 Then I'm going to be like, Oh my gosh, this girl is better than all the rest of the women.

00:31:35.100 I want to lock her down.

00:31:36.100 I'm going to go to the jewelers and buy a ring and give it to you.

00:31:38.100 So this is a process that needs to happen.

00:31:41.100 And in order for this to happen, you have to understand that process.

00:31:43.100 But the moment you give a guy sex stays after that, you've given him everything already.

00:31:48.100 So there's no, there's no need for him to actually make you into his girl or his wife.

00:31:52.100 The, the need to make into his girl or his wife is because you possess something that

00:31:55.100 no other women have.

00:31:56.100 If it's just sex and you give it away and you're not a virgin to give it to other men,

00:32:00.100 then we don't consider it as, as something special.

00:32:03.100 And the problem is.

00:32:04.100 What if I'm not looking for something?

00:32:06.100 What if I'm not looking for something?

00:32:07.100 That's fine.

00:32:08.100 That's also fine.

00:32:09.100 But I think at some level, yeah, unless you're saying you don't want to be, you don't

00:32:13.100 want a husband, you don't, then at some level you're going to want something.

00:32:16.100 So, so a lot of the things you do in the past can affect the guy that you actually meet

00:32:21.100 when he meets you and actually likes you.

00:32:22.100 And then he's like, okay, cool.

00:32:23.100 You run through all of these guys.

00:32:25.100 It affects us.

00:32:26.100 Not necessarily.

00:32:27.100 I'm talking to someone right now.

00:32:28.100 He knows everything that I've done in my past and it's fine.

00:32:30.100 No, but that's fine.

00:32:31.100 But what we're talking about, you know, men, we like to feel special.

00:32:35.100 And in a world today where women are running up body counts and stuff, none of us want to

00:32:39.100 feel like the woman we've chosen, we wasn't her first choice.

00:32:42.100 But what if my body count's not her?

00:32:44.100 I'm not saying.

00:32:45.100 Are you just speaking?

00:32:46.100 No, I'm not.

00:32:47.100 In this moment.

00:32:48.100 I didn't know if you were still talking about me.

00:32:49.100 Sorry, sorry.

00:32:50.100 I was a bit confused.

00:32:51.100 In this moment, I'm not directly aiming at you.

00:32:53.100 I'm just saying, because you said you were sat in for 10 years.

00:32:55.100 I was just like, we consider it as something like this.

00:32:58.100 I'm not saying that's you.

00:32:59.100 I don't know your body count.

00:33:00.100 I don't want to know your body count.

00:33:01.100 I'm just simply trying to say just as a man, just listen to it from our point of view.

00:33:07.100 If you've never heard it like this before, just listen and just take it on board a little bit.

00:33:11.100 That's all.

00:33:12.100 Can I ask you a question?

00:33:13.100 Sorry, I don't know your name.

00:33:14.100 Sorry.

00:33:15.100 So you see over the last 10 years when you've been in those situationships, whatever they were.

00:33:19.100 One.

00:33:20.100 Just one?

00:33:21.100 Yeah.

00:33:22.100 So it's just one in the last 10 years?

00:33:23.100 One person.

00:33:24.100 And how long did it last?

00:33:25.100 It lasted four years.

00:33:26.100 And at any time during that situation, did you want him to be a boyfriend?

00:33:29.100 At the start, yes.

00:33:31.100 And then I didn't want him to be my boyfriend, no.

00:33:33.100 Okay.

00:33:34.100 So, well, two questions.

00:33:35.100 Firstly, what happened at the start that didn't make it become a relationship?

00:33:39.100 And secondly, why did you afterwards not want him to be a boyfriend?

00:33:43.100 I was in a vulnerable state.

00:33:44.100 My mum passed away and I felt like I didn't have anybody.

00:33:47.100 So the person that wanted me, I was okay with doing the sexing.

00:33:54.100 I did want him to be my boyfriend at first.

00:33:57.100 I felt like that was the direction we was going.

00:34:00.100 I realized it wasn't, understood what I could still get from him.

00:34:05.100 And after a while, once I was done, I'd be both part of that ways.

00:34:11.100 Okay.

00:34:12.100 But if he had wanted to be your boyfriend during that time, it would have been a relationship, right?

00:34:16.100 He asked me to be his girlfriend.

00:34:17.100 I told him no.

00:34:18.100 When did he ask you to be his girlfriend?

00:34:20.100 A year before I broke everything off.

00:34:23.100 Okay.

00:34:24.100 Fair enough.

00:34:25.100 It's almost like when you got what you wanted, you didn't want it anymore.

00:34:28.100 I understood the person that I was sleeping with and I didn't want to be in a relationship with him.

00:34:33.100 But I was okay with doing what we was doing from the start.

00:34:36.100 Okay.

00:34:37.100 So you carried on sleeping with him after you realized that there was no...

00:34:40.100 Yeah.

00:34:41.100 I didn't want to sleep around.

00:34:43.100 I wanted to stay with the same person.

00:34:45.100 Okay, fine.

00:34:46.100 Yeah, I hear girls say they do that a lot.

00:34:48.100 But I guess in terms of the relationship itself or the situation itself, I think it still stands that with guys, if he had wanted a relationship at the beginning, you would have had a relationship.

00:34:58.100 I guess, you know, the fact that he didn't want a relationship at the beginning might have been why you didn't want it afterwards.

00:35:03.100 But it still kind of stays consistent with the point that if a guy shows interest that he wants to have a relationship, that's really the deciding factor in a lot of cases.

00:35:11.100 When it comes to actually having sex, it's more the girl that makes that deciding decision.

00:35:15.100 So, you know, I think when we look at someone who hasn't had a relationship for a certain amount of time, we normally work on the basis that that's because the guy didn't want it.

00:35:22.100 I feel like he didn't want it.

00:35:24.100 And then he did.

00:35:25.100 So I don't think I was in my head about it in a way.

00:35:27.100 We're like, I want to be in a relationship.

00:35:29.100 It was very much like, I like you.

00:35:31.100 You like me.

00:35:32.100 This is what we're doing.

00:35:33.100 Why can't we be?

00:35:34.100 And then he explained himself.

00:35:36.100 And then I felt a type of way, but understood maybe I wasn't ready to be in a relationship after my vulnerable state after going through therapy.

00:35:44.100 I understood that this isn't something that I wanted life long term.

00:35:48.100 It wasn't something that I wanted to endure, have kids, marry with him.

00:35:52.100 But I knew it was something I needed to stop.

00:35:54.100 So I eventually did.

00:35:55.100 Was he really good looking?

00:35:57.100 He was all right.

00:35:59.100 Let's say like his trim was a bit.

00:36:01.100 Did she know him?

00:36:03.100 Yeah.

00:36:04.100 Was he good looking, would you say?

00:36:06.100 He was all right.

00:36:07.100 He was all right.

00:36:08.100 Was he tall?

00:36:09.100 How tall was he?

00:36:10.100 It's like my height, like five, six, five, seven.

00:36:14.100 Five, six, five, seven.

00:36:16.100 Five, seven.

00:36:17.100 Okay.

00:36:18.100 Usually I just find that usually like, if, if a girl, like, it's usually looks.

00:36:22.100 If a girl doesn't want to.

00:36:23.100 I wish it was.

00:36:25.100 Might have been a bit easier if it was about looking.

00:36:28.100 Sorry guys.

00:36:29.100 Also these two are exes by the way.

00:36:31.100 Yeah.

00:36:32.100 Boom.

00:36:33.100 Yeah.

00:36:34.100 Boom.

00:36:35.100 We're exes.

00:36:36.100 I'm a guy for 10 years.

00:36:37.100 What?

00:36:38.100 He was my first boyfriend.

00:36:39.100 After him, I never was with anybody again.

00:36:40.100 Nah, nah.

00:36:41.100 Hold on.

00:36:42.100 Hold on a second.

00:36:43.100 Hold on a second.

00:36:44.100 Yeah.

00:36:45.100 Bang.

00:36:46.100 That's my sister.

00:36:47.100 Wait, is he who you were just talking about?

00:36:48.100 No.

00:36:49.100 He's my first boyfriend ever.

00:36:50.100 Lost everything.

00:36:51.100 He is the first of everything.

00:36:53.100 Why didn't that work out?

00:36:55.100 Ask him.

00:36:56.100 Did you dump her?

00:36:57.100 Huh?

00:36:58.100 You dump her?

00:36:59.100 Or did she dump you?

00:37:00.100 I did.

00:37:01.100 But it's just because like, my head was everywhere at the time.

00:37:03.100 I was a young boy.

00:37:04.100 How old were you?

00:37:05.100 17, 16, 17.

00:37:06.100 Yeah, this is years ago.

00:37:07.100 Cause I'm 28 now.

00:37:08.100 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:09.100 Are you guys going to like rekindle?

00:37:10.100 She, she's getting closer to 30.

00:37:11.100 So it's like the friend zone, right?

00:37:13.100 I can't be the, the last option.

00:37:16.100 I agree.

00:37:17.100 It wouldn't be good for him.

00:37:18.100 We've, we've turned out to be really, really good friends.

00:37:20.100 And I appreciate that more than anything.

00:37:22.100 Almost family now.

00:37:23.100 Literally.

00:37:24.100 It's not even a thing anymore.

00:37:25.100 This is crazy.

00:37:26.100 I was not expecting that.

00:37:28.100 Surprise.

00:37:33.100 Wow.

00:37:34.100 I didn't know if you guys were going to tell her.

00:37:36.100 Yeah.

00:37:37.100 I didn't, I didn't know if I should.

00:37:38.100 I was like, this is getting like kind of spicy.

00:37:39.100 Okay.

00:37:40.100 If she, she gets married someday, are you, are you?

00:37:43.100 I would go.

00:37:44.100 That's fine.

00:37:45.100 She's my bridgen.

00:37:46.100 You would go to the wedding?

00:37:47.100 If I was invited, I'll go.

00:37:48.100 I mean, what if, what if her, her new man said, Oh, so what if your new man said like,

00:37:52.100 this guy has all the things you look for.

00:37:54.100 Yeah.

00:37:55.100 You know, if you pass up on him, it's like that you're not getting better.

00:37:58.100 It's just not happening.

00:37:59.100 And he says, I don't do guy friends.

00:38:03.100 I don't, I don't date girls that don't have guy friends.

00:38:06.100 If you want to be with me, I'm looking for a wife.

00:38:09.100 I'm looking for a wife.

00:38:10.100 And if you want to be with me, I don't, I don't date girls with guy friends.

00:38:14.100 What you doing?

00:38:15.100 Let me interject.

00:38:16.100 I want an answer first.

00:38:17.100 I want an answer first.

00:38:18.100 She being messy.

00:38:19.100 Um, that's hard because the guy that I love would never say that to me, but in this moment,

00:38:26.100 I'll answer it because it will be a black and white moment.

00:38:29.100 It's a, okay.

00:38:30.100 Okay.

00:38:31.100 I would say no.

00:38:33.100 So you would, you would pass up on the, I would pass up on the guy for, for him.

00:38:37.100 Yeah.

00:38:38.100 Cause he shouldn't ever make me feel like there was an ultimatum to invite somebody up no longer

00:38:41.100 than him.

00:38:42.100 It's a standard.

00:38:43.100 It's a standard.

00:38:44.100 See, this is like every time guys have a standard, I don't think you're doing it intentionally,

00:38:47.100 but you kind of, you kind of shame them for doing it.

00:38:49.100 Oh my gosh.

00:38:50.100 So if a guy says like, I don't, I don't want to date a girl with a bunch of guy friends

00:38:52.100 hanging around.

00:38:53.100 I don't want to date a girl that goes to the club.

00:38:54.100 You're like, Oh, why would you do that?

00:38:55.100 Like that's, that's controlling and it's not controlling.

00:38:58.100 It's a standard.

00:38:59.100 I didn't learn.

00:39:00.100 I'm new to this.

00:39:01.100 I'm so sorry.

00:39:02.100 What if it was the other way around and you're the guy has his ex as his close friend.

00:39:08.100 How are you feeling like that?

00:39:10.100 Cause I feel like it's okay for him.

00:39:12.100 It always depends on the situation.

00:39:14.100 Cause if you look at us, for example, like there hasn't been any sexual history in like

00:39:17.100 10 years.

00:39:18.100 It's been a long time.

00:39:19.100 But there's been sexual history.

00:39:20.100 There has, but it's been such a long time.

00:39:23.100 But if you, if like, when she was seeing the other guy, me and him was cool.

00:39:27.100 I used to go around to the house and chill with the both of them.

00:39:29.100 It was no problem.

00:39:30.100 He felt no type of way that I was there.

00:39:32.100 She met.

00:39:33.100 Cause as I told you, I'm a father.

00:39:34.100 She met the mother of my child.

00:39:36.100 That can't happen.

00:39:37.100 That can't happen.

00:39:38.100 I've met his child.

00:39:39.100 I've met his.

00:39:40.100 This is, this is all types of disrespect.

00:39:41.100 This is all types of ancestry.

00:39:42.100 This is all types of.

00:39:44.100 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:39:45.100 So, so.

00:39:46.100 It's because we was friends before we got into a relationship.

00:39:49.100 And then after we realized that we can't be in a relationship.

00:39:52.100 We were friends when we were babies.

00:39:54.100 Our mums used to make us do play dates.

00:39:56.100 This is getting worse and worse.

00:39:58.100 No, like I've, what you guys have done is you guys should have just got it together.

00:40:03.100 Instead, you guys have played games, gone into the world and you still kept this connection.

00:40:06.100 He didn't want me.

00:40:07.100 He didn't want me.

00:40:09.100 And that makes it even worse.

00:40:11.100 Cause he got rid of you.

00:40:12.100 See, as a man, this is giving me all types of red flags.

00:40:15.100 So the first, so the first thing I'm going to say.

00:40:17.100 You should ask him though.

00:40:18.100 Before you get that red flag.

00:40:19.100 No, we'll get, we'll get to that.

00:40:20.100 Okay.

00:40:21.100 But the first thing I want to say as a man is, as a man, is you, if you've got a potential

00:40:25.100 husband or boyfriend and he said to you, I'm not comfortable with, with male friends

00:40:29.100 around you.

00:40:30.100 And if you use that as a thing to label him as insecure, I was controlling.

00:40:35.100 No, no, no.

00:40:36.100 But I'm, I'm, I'm saying if you consider it as, as a problem, then you really don't know

00:40:41.100 what it is to be loved by a man.

00:40:42.100 No, no, no, no.

00:40:43.100 I'm being real.

00:40:44.100 That's really sad.

00:40:45.100 Do you really feel like that?

00:40:46.100 A lot of men feel like that.

00:40:47.100 Really?

00:40:48.100 Yeah, listen, listen.

00:40:49.100 Oh my God.

00:40:50.100 Listen.

00:40:51.100 Guys, I'm sorry.

00:40:52.100 No, don't be sorry.

00:40:53.100 Just don't be disrespectful.

00:40:54.100 That's disrespectful.

00:40:55.100 Yes.

00:40:56.100 It's very disrespectful.

00:40:57.100 Listen, listen, listen.

00:40:58.100 Don't look at me like that.

00:40:59.100 I actually agree with what you said.

00:41:00.100 I'm teaching you something.

00:41:01.100 I'm teaching you something.

00:41:02.100 You do?

00:41:03.100 I do agree with what you said.

00:41:04.100 Okay.

00:41:05.100 I'm teaching you something.

00:41:06.100 Cause when you get a man that actually wants you and you speak like this, he's going

00:41:08.100 to go straight away.

00:41:09.100 Cause for me, this is a red flag.

00:41:10.100 I've got a girl.

00:41:11.100 And there's no way she could be having a barrage of male friends around her.

00:41:15.100 Yes, she can, she can know males and they had them before in her life and what

00:41:18.100 have you not.

00:41:19.100 But once I'm on the scene, no men can be calling her phone.

00:41:21.100 She can't be saying I'm going to be out with some, with some guy friends.

00:41:24.100 If we're out and male friends see her, she needs to do that.

00:41:27.100 And to keep them on the other side.

00:41:29.100 Do you know why?

00:41:30.100 Because that means all your male friends got to go, you know, every person that you know,

00:41:34.100 every person that you know got to come out cause it's disrespectful.

00:41:38.100 If you outside and you have five or six different men that come to hug you in front of your man,

00:41:43.100 that's a very big problem.

00:41:44.100 So you can just, you know what I mean?

00:41:45.100 Cause if I saw you with your man and he was my friend, I would do that.

00:41:49.100 I would know respectfully not to come over there and to start hugging you up in front

00:41:52.100 of your man.

00:41:53.100 Even if we're, we're day doc regions.

00:41:54.100 It's about respect, but boundaries.

00:41:56.100 Like guys, like you have to understand, like respect to men is love.

00:42:00.100 Like men don't feel loved if they don't feel respected.

00:42:03.100 And your job as a woman is to make them look good.

00:42:06.100 And this goes back to, does it, does it look good to a guy to have his girl hugging the

00:42:10.100 whole football team, hugging the whole basketball team, hugging, hugging the whole rap scene.

00:42:14.100 But I think, sorry to cut you, but I feel like you guys have the wrong picture of our friendship,

00:42:21.100 honestly, because what you are saying, I would, I understand because personally, if I was,

00:42:26.100 if I started seeing a girl and she told me that she has this really close friend that she had

00:42:30.100 history with, obviously I'm always going to feel naturally, wait, pause, pause, pause.

00:42:33.100 I'm always going to feel some type of way about it.

00:42:35.100 However, when the guy comes into the picture and she's seeing the guy.

00:42:39.100 I will make him feel comfortable because I'm not trying to cause no situations because I respect her.

00:42:45.100 And I respect the fact that she's now found a new person.

00:42:48.100 And she's the same with me.

00:42:49.100 We don't make each other's new counterparts feel some type of way because we have history.

00:42:54.100 And our history again is such a long time ago that now it's like.

00:42:58.100 You're missing a point though.

00:43:01.100 What if he says he's not comfortable despite your efforts?

00:43:04.100 If he says he's not comfortable to his girlfriend, then I would walk away.

00:43:08.100 Yeah, but it's not your decision though.

00:43:09.100 It's his girlfriend's decision.

00:43:10.100 Right now his girlfriend has just said that she wouldn't listen to what he's saying.

00:43:14.100 And that's a big problem for a guy.

00:43:16.100 That's a very huge problem.

00:43:17.100 It is.

00:43:18.100 I would respect it to a certain.

00:43:20.100 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:43:22.100 It is black and white.

00:43:23.100 It is.

00:43:24.100 For a man it is black and white.

00:43:25.100 So listen to this.

00:43:26.100 And this is why I say women love the street so much because you have a man that's prepared

00:43:30.100 to marry you.

00:43:31.100 He's prepared to literally take you on as his wife.

00:43:34.100 All the things you've been talking about for the last 10 years you haven't had.

00:43:37.100 And the simple thing he says is you've got an ex that used to blow your back out.

00:43:40.100 I don't want them around you no more.

00:43:42.100 No, no, but this is how men think you want to talk about how this is how we think.

00:43:45.100 Some.

00:43:46.100 Some.

00:43:47.100 Okay.

00:43:48.100 This is how some men think, but the types of men you are attracted to think like that.

00:43:50.100 Because if not, you would have picked one of these guys in your comments on your DMS

00:43:53.100 for years.

00:43:54.100 That's desperate.

00:43:56.100 I would never.

00:43:57.100 You're doing it again.

00:43:58.100 You haven't given them a chance because these are the guys you don't see.

00:44:01.100 You don't see these guys, but the guys you do see are the ones that speak like this

00:44:05.100 and think like this.

00:44:06.100 I'm being honest with you.

00:44:07.100 And if you want to look at it, look at it as this is new information you never heard before.

00:44:11.100 Take it in as new information.

00:44:12.100 I am.

00:44:13.100 Trust me.

00:44:14.100 Unless you're willing to go for the guys which you'd never look at.

00:44:17.100 These are the guys which will let you have him as a friend because they've been trying

00:44:20.100 to try to take you out for years and they want to see you.

00:44:22.100 The types of guys that meet you and they speak like me.

00:44:25.100 They would never allow him to be your friend.

00:44:27.100 They'll just say, look, that's your boy.

00:44:28.100 You can, if you see him, that's cool.

00:44:29.100 But all of that stuff cuts off now that I'm involved.

00:44:32.100 I think the bigger issue is that he might be cool with it.

00:44:35.100 He might not.

00:44:36.100 But the whole point is that his girl won't listen to him.

00:44:37.100 Facts.

00:44:38.100 That's the big problem right there as far as I'm concerned.

00:44:40.100 You know, he might be cool.

00:44:41.100 He might meet the guy and say, yeah, you know, I respect your relationship.

00:44:45.100 But if he turns around and says, I'm not comfortable with it.

00:44:47.100 And the girlfriend turns around and says she's not going to listen to him.

00:44:50.100 She doesn't respect him and she doesn't value the relationship enough.

00:44:53.100 You know, that's that's the message.

00:44:54.100 The moment a girl says that to me, bro, I can't lie.

00:44:57.100 Like, yeah, she's single, man.

00:44:58.100 So what you are saying?

00:44:59.100 Yeah, basically that if your girl said that she had a friend that is an ex, but she would

00:45:04.100 like to bring him around you that you would feel some type of way because me personally,

00:45:07.100 if my girl that I'm seeing said that she has a friend and she doesn't mind bringing me

00:45:10.100 around him, then it's like it proves to me that there's not really nothing to hide.

00:45:15.100 What?

00:45:16.100 It proves?

00:45:17.100 Yeah, because you're around me 24.

00:45:18.100 Like me, I like my girl to be around me 24-7.

00:45:20.100 So if she now then brings the...

00:45:22.100 I'm not expecting them to be close because me and I don't speak every single day and I'm

00:45:27.100 phoning her 24-7 because that's how you are making it seem.

00:45:29.100 No, but you're fighting for it like you do that.

00:45:31.100 If this is just the thing where...

00:45:32.100 I'm just saying, innit?

00:45:33.100 So for example, if you guys were friends and you might occasionally bump into each other

00:45:36.100 and, you know, maybe at a family barbecue or something, we don't even have to have

00:45:40.100 this conversation, but the conversation you guys are giving me is the one where, you know

00:45:45.100 what, we played in the sandpit together, we dated for this, our family's still close, you

00:45:49.100 know, that's my...

00:45:50.100 I'm like, hold on a second.

00:45:51.100 Why don't you just get with him then and just fix it?

00:45:53.100 Like, I don't know what I'm here for.

00:45:54.100 That's really sad.

00:45:55.100 It's not sad.

00:45:56.100 It is.

00:45:57.100 Because why can't it be a thing where I respect his mum enough to call her auntie and

00:46:01.100 go over for some jollof and have a good time with the family because I don't have my mum

00:46:06.100 in the picture.

00:46:07.100 But you have a man who you're supposed to be building that relationship with.

00:46:09.100 And that's still fine.

00:46:10.100 I believe in him and I will definitely go through that journey.

00:46:13.100 But to think I'm disrespecting my husband because I'm friends with a man.

00:46:18.100 But I think though, it's not that you're friends with a man.

00:46:21.100 The point is you're not listening to him.

00:46:23.100 Like again, love to men is respect.

00:46:25.100 It's saying, you know what?

00:46:26.100 I might not agree with this, but I respect your judgment.

00:46:28.100 So I'm going to go with it.

00:46:30.100 I'm going to do what you say.

00:46:31.100 But like men don't want an argumentative woman.

00:46:34.100 And what you're doing is rather that you're not listening to me.

00:46:37.100 You keep trying to say, but you're actually not listening to me.

00:46:39.100 Men and women are fundamentally different.

00:46:41.100 We look at cheating differently.

00:46:43.100 By the way you're acting and what you're saying to me, we classify that as cheating.

00:46:47.100 You don't know, but you have to listen to it.

00:46:49.100 You don't have to.

00:46:50.100 I'm listening.

00:46:51.100 I just don't agree.

00:46:52.100 So it seems like I'm not listening to you.

00:46:53.100 No, but you don't.

00:46:54.100 See, not agreeing is that part where you're going to kick back.

00:46:57.100 Men are not going to change.

00:46:58.100 And the types of men that will allow you to do this, you do not check for.

00:47:01.100 You don't look at.

00:47:02.100 You see past.

00:47:03.100 They're invisible to you.

00:47:04.100 So the types of men that will allow this to happen, you do not check for.

00:47:07.100 So what I'm saying as a man and what this other gentleman is saying as a man is that if you, if I take you as my missus and I'm serious about you.

00:47:14.100 Yeah.

00:47:15.100 And I want to introduce you to my family.

00:47:16.100 I want to marry you.

00:47:17.100 If you cannot do something like this to go into the, then it's fine.

00:47:21.100 But this is why I say modern women are for the streets and they want to stay in the streets because when you've got a man that's all you want to show is that a bit of commitment from you.

00:47:28.100 You're like, no, no, no, no, no.

00:47:30.100 The rave is so important.

00:47:31.100 I'm going up.

00:47:32.100 My girls are so important.

00:47:33.100 My men, my men.

00:47:34.100 So then keep that.

00:47:35.100 But that seems a little bit farfetched because nobody said I'm going out no matter what you said or I'm going to go and see him.

00:47:40.100 But it's when we asked you the question.

00:47:42.100 When we, we asked you if he said this, what would you do?

00:47:45.100 Yeah.

00:47:46.100 And you said, no, I would still do what I'm going to do.

00:47:48.100 Okay. No, I.

00:47:49.100 That's, that's not agreeable.

00:47:50.100 That's, that's not feminine.

00:47:51.100 That's argumentative.

00:47:52.100 Okay.

00:47:54.100 And I like you.

00:47:55.100 I think, I think, you know what it is.

00:47:57.100 You remind me of a lot of women that I've met and I've dealt with and like, you look the part.

00:48:01.100 So I'm saying.

00:48:02.100 I look the part.

00:48:03.100 What do you mean by that?

00:48:04.100 What do you mean?

00:48:05.100 You're very, you look very feminine.

00:48:06.100 Okay.

00:48:07.100 Yeah.

00:48:08.100 You look very feminine.

00:48:09.100 You know what I mean?

00:48:10.100 You're made well, you're presented very well.

00:48:11.100 So you look very feminine.

00:48:12.100 And when you talk, you have a nice tone of voice.

00:48:13.100 But when we say certain things, as soon as we say, I get to see your eyes start rolling back and you want to kick back with it.

00:48:18.100 But, but what are you really kicking back for?

00:48:21.100 Um, I'm, do you know what?

00:48:23.100 I've never heard these point of views and it's good to be open about these kinds of conversations.

00:48:27.100 So you're brothers?

00:48:28.100 I do.

00:48:29.100 How old are your brothers?

00:48:30.100 They are 24.

00:48:31.100 They're twins.

00:48:32.100 Shout out the twin brothers.

00:48:33.100 So have you ever spoke to your brothers about relationships?

00:48:36.100 Yeah.

00:48:37.100 And what do they say?

00:48:38.100 They have their different twins.

00:48:41.100 We're sisters.

00:48:42.100 Yeah.

00:48:43.100 They have, um.

00:48:44.100 You guys are sisters?

00:48:45.100 Yeah.

00:48:46.100 Oh, there's a whole back story.

00:48:47.100 No.

00:48:48.100 We didn't get a back story, man.

00:48:50.100 We didn't do the background shit.

00:48:51.100 I was wondering, I was like, wow, they must have been friends for a while.

00:48:54.100 She knows all the background.

00:48:55.100 She's my sister.

00:48:56.100 I guess they have their own different views on relationships.

00:48:59.100 But when you say, what, what do they think?

00:49:02.100 What do you mean by that?

00:49:03.100 Like, obviously you're the, okay, so you're their older sister.

00:49:08.100 Yeah.

00:49:09.100 Older sister.

00:49:10.100 So obviously they're slightly, um, they're slightly junior to you.

00:49:12.100 They're 24.

00:49:13.100 They're still quite young.

00:49:14.100 So a lot of the times is brothers would, would speak to their sisters, but they, they

00:49:19.100 young, they younger.

00:49:20.100 So obviously you're, so you're older than them.

00:49:21.100 My thing is this.

00:49:22.100 I don't know, obviously your relationship with your father.

00:49:25.100 I don't know any of those types of stuff, but I tend to think that a lot of times girls

00:49:29.100 have had friends that are men and they, and they speak to them.

00:49:32.100 One or two guys will be real and be like, yo, this is what it is.

00:49:35.100 Like, like, so when you have a real guy that's real, that he should be saying to you, everything

00:49:39.100 I'm saying is, it's not some, it's not some fallacy.

00:49:43.100 It's not some idea that, that, that I've just, just, just create, create out my head.

00:49:48.100 A lot of men will lie.

00:49:49.100 As you said, they're not going to care about body count.

00:49:51.100 You know why?

00:49:52.100 Cause they're not going to be around long enough to care about it.

00:49:54.100 They're going to run it up and give it to your husband.

00:49:56.100 He's the one that's going to care about it.

00:49:57.100 So when, when you're saying, Oh, I've never heard this before, it's because why would they

00:50:00.100 say it?

00:50:01.100 Men never speak about a lot.

00:50:02.100 So how are you women supposed to learn about it if you go and see it?

00:50:07.100 Because, okay.

00:50:08.100 More men need to tell the truth.

00:50:09.100 That's the, that's really what it is.

00:50:10.100 That's it.

00:50:11.100 And there should be a father in the home, but a lot of like women weren't raised by wives

00:50:16.100 and they don't have a dad in the home.

00:50:17.100 So they have no one to teach him this stuff.

00:50:19.100 I'm not saying you.

00:50:20.100 Sorry, sorry.

00:50:21.100 I don't know anyone's backstory here, but I'm just saying in general, like your dads are

00:50:25.100 supposed to teach you this stuff.

00:50:27.100 Okay.

00:50:28.100 And your brothers.

00:50:30.100 My brothers.

00:50:31.100 I mean, I don't have all the same views as her.

00:50:33.100 So what, so, so your sisters.

00:50:35.100 Um, so what do you think?

00:50:37.100 Um, I, I kind of agree with what you're saying, but only because I know the relationship, like

00:50:43.100 the friendship between them.

00:50:45.100 I would understand why it would be hard for her to just like kick him to the side for

00:50:49.100 a man who possibly could be gone one day, whereas he's probably never going to leave

00:50:53.100 her life.

00:50:54.100 And also just to say, if the guy did have a problem with me being in a situation, I would

00:50:58.100 be happy taking a step back.

00:51:00.100 Yeah, but they're saying you're not the problem.

00:51:01.100 No, bro.

00:51:02.100 You're not the problem, bro.

00:51:03.100 No, it's not yours.

00:51:04.100 Yeah.

00:51:05.100 I'll be disrespectful.

00:51:06.100 Yeah.

00:51:07.100 Like, so yeah, it's not you.

00:51:08.100 It just comes down to, um, comes down to the, to the woman's decision.

00:51:12.100 And the willingness to get like, to put that aside for, to make him happy.

00:51:17.100 I'll be honest.

00:51:18.100 A lot of times men, we don't even care.

00:51:20.100 Oh, sorry.

00:51:21.100 A lot of times men, we don't even care.

00:51:23.100 We just want to know you would do it.

00:51:24.100 We just ask you.

00:51:25.100 And then soon, your first answer is the answer that lets us know.

00:51:28.100 And when we start kicking back, it's like, it's like, if you're going to wear something

00:51:33.100 out, I love the fact that my girl's going to send me what she's wearing out.

00:51:37.100 I can pick.

00:51:38.100 Or do you think, and if I, do you think this is too much, too much skin?

00:51:40.100 And if I say that she's going to change it, not because, not because I'm trying to stop

00:51:45.100 her from wearing something.

00:51:46.100 No, I'm just like, Oh, maybe that one's a little bit, you know what I'm trying to say?

00:51:48.100 Yeah.

00:51:49.100 Like you're giving a bit too much of what you shouldn't be giving.

00:51:51.100 All right.

00:51:52.100 Cool.

00:51:53.100 So I'm saying.

00:51:54.100 Yeah.

00:51:55.100 Um, and men, we'd like to be a part of the process.

00:51:56.100 We're not stopping you.

00:51:57.100 We see you can go out, but when you start going out too much, or if you start going out

00:52:02.100 with single friends or potentially you go to places where, you know, maybe the vibe isn't

00:52:06.100 right.

00:52:07.100 It could have been drama or things that have happened in the past.

00:52:09.100 That's when we get worried.

00:52:10.100 You know what I'm trying to say to you, but we're not trying to stop a woman from ever

00:52:12.100 going out, but we'll get concerned when you start going out too much and you put yourself

00:52:16.100 in situations where men can start hitting up to you.

00:52:19.100 And then there's alcohol flowing.

00:52:21.100 And, and you know, whenever people say I made a mistake or I was drunk, that's never happened

00:52:26.100 when someone wasn't drunk and they didn't make a mistake.

00:52:28.100 So you have to take a lot of these scenarios out and we know women cheat as much as men

00:52:32.100 do.

00:52:33.100 So there has to be someone doing the cheating.

00:52:35.100 And if we talk about women having, women are the ones with the gateway, gateway, sorry,

00:52:39.100 the gatekeepers, the sex, then once you add in nightclub, once you're adding out with

00:52:45.100 a single whole friends, once you're adding alcohol, once you're adding all of these other

00:52:49.100 factors and the fact that you can make a mistake, we're human.

00:52:53.100 How about we just try to just take away some of these factors.

00:52:56.100 That's all I'm saying.

JustPearlyThings - July 20, 2023

Delusional Modern Woman Said THIIS

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript