JustPearlyThings - Delusional Modern Women

00:00:00.000 How do you know when a guy is a good guy?

00:00:02.000 How do you know when a guy is a good guy?

00:00:04.000 When the man them are good.

00:00:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:00:08.000 Yo, you know what it is?

00:00:10.000 You can tell when a man is in line when he has a good woman. 0.57

00:00:15.000 A good woman makes a good man. 1.00

00:00:17.000 No, but he has to be good on his own first.

00:00:19.000 No, no, no.

00:00:21.000 No, because you know what it is now, pal.

00:00:23.000 I am pal, I am pal, but you know what it is.

00:00:25.000 No, no, no, please stop, please stop.

00:00:27.000 I asked you guys, for her, she is a single woman. 1.00

00:00:30.000 Or sort of, she is dating someone.

00:00:31.000 But like for a single woman, how do you know if it is a good man? 1.00

00:00:34.000 What do you think?

00:00:35.000 Do you think it is easy to tell as a guy who the good guys are?

00:00:38.000 No, it is not easy to tell.

00:00:40.000 If he is willing to accept your trauma, he is a good guy.

00:00:44.000 Hmm, that is a good one.

00:00:46.000 That is a good one.

00:00:47.000 Definitely.

00:00:48.000 Really?

00:00:49.000 That is a good point.

00:00:50.000 Yeah, you are good.

00:00:51.000 That is a good point.

00:00:52.000 Okay.

00:00:53.000 So I am just like, why would a good guy want to accept a bunch of trauma?

00:00:59.000 Because if he sees something in you, he will...

00:01:01.000 Yeah, he sees something beyond...

00:01:02.000 If he supports you through certain things you are going through in trauma, then you know...

00:01:06.000 Like he listens to your problems?

00:01:07.000 No, no, just listen.

00:01:09.000 Forget the listening.

00:01:10.000 Okay.

00:01:11.000 He is actually there, like raw, like cool.

00:01:13.000 You have gone, let's say, what kind of example can I do?

00:01:16.000 Maybe trying to work around you in a way.

00:01:20.000 Whatever the issue may be or whatever it is that she will be going through.

00:01:23.000 Even like if she needs...

00:01:24.000 Yeah, like if she needs time, like you're there, but you're...

00:01:27.000 You're supportive.

00:01:28.000 You're supportive, but it's not just...

00:01:29.000 What do you think?

00:01:30.000 Involved.

00:01:31.000 I feel like you've got something to say.

00:01:32.000 Yeah, go on Ted.

00:01:33.000 What do you think?

00:01:34.000 Fundamentally, I think that all, most guys are good guys.

00:01:37.000 You know, good guys.

00:01:38.000 We are good guys, yeah.

00:01:39.000 We are.

00:01:40.000 100%.

00:01:41.000 Agree.

00:01:42.000 No, but the thing is, it's about have we found the right woman?

00:01:45.000 Mm-hmm.

00:01:46.000 Okay.

00:01:47.000 So if we were with the right woman, then it works.

00:01:49.000 If we're not, then it's not.

00:01:50.000 Yeah, but how does she see it though?

00:01:52.000 She's not going to see it easily because it depends on who she is.

00:01:57.000 Ted, this is what I just said to Pearl.

00:01:59.000 It's about the woman, but she doesn't understand.

00:02:01.000 You see me saying it from a man, like in order for a man to be a good man,

00:02:06.000 you have to have a good woman because the woman will put you in line. 1.00

00:02:09.000 Like men on their own don't put their self in line.

00:02:12.000 We do reckless things.

00:02:13.000 We buy, we spend money recklessly.

00:02:15.000 We live recklessly until you get that good woman. 1.00

00:02:18.000 I was chatting to the man them today in the WhatsApp group.

00:02:20.000 And it's like, well, you could even remember we were saying about a man dressing well.

00:02:23.000 Mm-hmm.

00:02:24.000 You could tell when a man's dressing a certain way in a relationship and out of a relationship.

00:02:28.000 You can tell.

00:02:29.000 Obviously, I don't know, man them can tell.

00:02:30.000 I don't know if women can tell. 1.00

00:02:31.000 But.

00:02:32.000 Really, the most dependable, responsible men I know don't really need a woman to look 1.00

00:02:37.000 after them, to be honest.

00:02:38.000 It's not about need.

00:02:39.000 Yeah.

00:02:40.000 It's about guidance.

00:02:41.000 So.

00:02:42.000 I mean.

00:02:43.000 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:02:44.000 No, but.

00:02:45.000 No, because I'm just thinking about the men I respect the most in my life that are really

00:02:48.000 doing stuff.

00:02:49.000 I think of my dad, some of my brothers.

00:02:51.000 They don't need a woman to guide them or take care of them. 1.00

00:02:54.000 They kind of have a path, stuff they want to do.

00:02:56.000 They don't really.

00:02:57.000 No, we're always going to have a path, isn't it?

00:02:58.000 Yeah.

00:02:59.000 But women have certain, like, we're practical. 1.00

00:03:01.000 Mm-hmm.

00:03:02.000 So we're always on, yo, we need to do this, we need to do that, blah, blah, blah.

00:03:06.000 Where women are more structured. 1.00

00:03:09.000 They will put, men are structured, but we will have a vision and we go for that vision.

00:03:14.000 Right.

00:03:15.000 And sometimes we just go, because we can see what we're going for.

00:03:18.000 We know, we got the picture in our head, but a woman can organize the route a bit better 1.00

00:03:23.000 than a man can organize the route.

00:03:25.000 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:03:26.000 I think what you're saying is more like enhancing your qualities, enhancing your life.

00:03:30.000 Yeah, maybe, yeah.

00:03:31.000 But like, honestly, for me, I think that if, if a guy can get up, even when he's sad,

00:03:37.000 when he has a bad day, maybe if he likes to work out, he'll do a workout, go to work,

00:03:43.000 not be emotional all the time.

00:03:44.000 You know, these things that if you already do them without a woman, it's good. 1.00

00:03:48.000 Yeah, we do that naturally.

00:03:49.000 But.

00:03:50.000 Go on, pal.

00:03:51.000 Yeah.

00:03:52.000 You get me?

00:03:53.000 No, this, this just, this just sounds to me like the guys you don't want to date, which

00:04:00.000 is the guys that like need a woman to like, to guide them.

00:04:03.000 Yeah.

00:04:04.000 Yeah.

00:04:05.000 Like, I would think you'd want like a leader.

00:04:06.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

00:04:07.000 I don't know.

00:04:08.000 No, no, no, man's a leader.

00:04:09.000 Yeah.

00:04:10.000 I don't want to organize man's paperwork while I'm practically outside of the room.

00:04:13.000 Oh, okay.

00:04:14.000 But that's like, you're kind of, you're kind of, you're kind of switching what you started

00:04:17.000 saying.

00:04:18.000 No, I hear what you know, but I'm, it's hard for me to explain it because it's like,

00:04:23.000 it's mad because obviously man, I'm, I'm, I'm, when I'm saying I'm focused, man, you can

00:04:28.000 be focused on something, but sometimes you need somebody there to help you in line certain

00:04:33.000 things because man, we will just do things like, for example, I'll use shopping for example.

00:04:38.000 Yeah.

00:04:39.000 If I'm going shopping, yo, I'm going in there size eight, air force one, boom, bam, gone.

00:04:44.000 I know exactly what I want.

00:04:45.000 I know what I'm going there for.

00:04:46.000 I'm not spending long where a woman will, if they want to dress or something or they want 1.00

00:04:51.000 to shoes, you try it on.

00:04:52.000 It's got to make sure it looks right.

00:04:54.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:04:55.000 Up there.

00:04:56.000 They will pattern up things, make sure everything's correct before they leave that.

00:04:59.000 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:05:00.000 Like getting your size eight better?

00:05:02.000 Your air force better?

00:05:03.000 I don't need to get my air force better for me.

00:05:05.000 So is that-

00:05:06.000 Well you said she organizes your route.

00:05:08.000 Yeah.

00:05:09.000 But I'm just saying they will look for more things.

00:05:12.000 What do you guys think about the phrase, a woman that makes you wait for sex isn't worth 0.99

00:05:16.000 the wait?

00:05:20.000 That's only true if you're, that's only true if you're not, if she's not a real virgin, 0.57

00:05:25.000 which I know you can't really, you know, just, you can't really tell, but that's, that's

00:05:29.000 what I think at least.

00:05:30.000 But I think you guys have to be mindful when it comes to sex.

00:05:34.000 It's not just sex.

00:05:35.000 It's a spiritual energy exchange.

00:05:38.000 I don't care.

00:05:39.000 You guys, I have to say this stuff.

00:05:41.000 Like, like honestly, it's not, it's a big thing.

00:05:45.000 So do you really want to just be having sex with anyone and letting any kind of energy into

00:05:50.000 your energy?

00:05:51.000 Like it's not worth it, is it?

00:05:52.000 I don't think it's worth it.

00:05:53.000 Can I just say that for us, it is always a spiritual exchange.

00:05:58.000 For them, it might just be sex and you might be thinking, oh, this is a spiritual exchange,

00:06:03.000 but it's not.

00:06:04.000 And that's why I probably could only date spiritual men now, now at this point.

00:06:07.000 But like, I think if you thought it was a spiritual exchange, you would have waited

00:06:10.000 till you were married.

00:06:11.000 Like, that's why, this is what I mean, like why, like, like men hear the things we say

00:06:16.000 and it doesn't match up with what we do.

00:06:17.000 Because it's like, okay, you're 32, you've been dating since you were 18.

00:06:20.000 Was every guy you slept with in the last 12 years a spiritual?

00:06:23.000 But since 28, because I only spent spiritual when I was 28.

00:06:26.000 So my mindset completely shifted.

00:06:28.000 Do you realize there's like a pattern?

00:06:29.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:06:30.000 So there's like a pattern.

00:06:31.000 So this is, this is like guys, when they've dated enough women, they start to see like patterns

00:06:36.000 in our behavior.

00:06:37.000 And like one thing that they found was like women tend to like find God around the age 0.56

00:06:41.000 of 28.

00:06:42.000 So they kind of like start to rebrand.

00:06:43.000 So basically like, like basically, it's kind of like a red flag.

00:06:46.000 When you say around 28, I like found God or found the spiritual journey because it's

00:06:49.000 kind of like, okay, I spent the first half of my twenties being a hoe. 0.97

00:06:52.000 And then now it's like, I'm not, I'm not saying a hoe, but like, okay. 1.00

00:06:57.000 A hoe, what is a hoe statistically more than five partners? 1.00

00:07:00.000 Okay.

00:07:01.000 So, okay.

00:07:02.000 I don't, I don't need to know.

00:07:04.000 I don't need to know.

00:07:05.000 But what I'm saying, like, so a lot of times like women sort of try to rebrand and it 1.00

00:07:08.000 just doesn't really seem like genuine.

00:07:10.000 It's not really rebranding.

00:07:11.000 It's growth.

00:07:12.000 Like at the end of the day, if you're going to be the same first of your life, you're

00:07:14.000 never going to get anywhere.

00:07:15.000 It might be, but I'm just telling you how like men see it.

00:07:18.000 It's kind of like, okay, okay, okay.

00:07:20.000 Listen, listen, but this is, this isn't, this isn't the men for me.

00:07:23.000 I'm telling you, this is how like men see it where it's like before the men, um, I gave

00:07:28.000 this away for free.

00:07:29.000 Now you pay a premium price.

00:07:32.000 And so what that says to the men is you're not genuinely attracted to them because you

00:07:36.000 were genuinely attracted to the first guy because you had sex with him right away, but

00:07:40.000 you're not that attracted to the second because you're making him wait.

00:07:43.000 I would even, I would even say that like, like again, going back to like your body's a

00:07:47.000 temple.

00:07:48.000 It's not even just like your body's temple.

00:07:49.000 It's also like what food you eat, you know, how you treat your body.

00:07:52.000 Like, are you working out?

00:07:53.000 Like, are you taking care of yourself?

00:07:55.000 Like these things are part of that.

00:07:57.000 And I think if you're doing all of those things and yeah, the, the both people should

00:08:01.000 wait because that means you're actually, you love yourself in an authentic, truthful

00:08:05.000 way and you actually care about your body and your beliefs.

00:08:09.000 So that, that's to me, that would show that.

00:08:11.000 What would show like eating right?

00:08:13.000 Eating right, taking care of your body and also not like having a bunch of tattoos and

00:08:17.000 not, and not sleeping with a bunch of people.

00:08:18.000 Oh, okay.

00:08:19.000 I see.

00:08:20.000 So do you think that majority of men think that, let's say for example, before you're

00:08:26.000 28, you slept around and then after 28, you found God reborn again.

00:08:30.000 No, I think that's terrible.

00:08:31.000 That's just like, that's just like a coverup.

00:08:33.000 But who is that though?

00:08:35.000 Huh?

00:08:36.000 Who, like is that?

00:08:37.000 I don't think everyone's like that, but.

00:08:39.000 Not everyone's like that.

00:08:40.000 I'm saying, but let's say there's a born again woman at 28. 0.99

00:08:42.000 Yeah.

00:08:43.000 Hold on.

00:08:44.000 I'm going to read this.

00:08:45.000 Some of them are, I mean, let's give them credit.

00:08:47.000 Some of them could be.

00:08:48.000 You can find God at any time of them.

00:08:50.000 At the end of the day.

00:08:51.000 Okay.

00:08:52.000 This is from the rational male.

00:08:55.000 Um, I previously described this phase as parallels.

00:08:58.000 Um, all right.

00:08:59.000 This, this time, the epiphany phase, this is a precarious time for women, usually between 0.99

00:09:03.000 the ages of 28 and 30, where she attempts to reassess the last decade of her life.

00:09:08.000 Women's, um, psyche, psychological rationalization engine begins a furious effort to account for 1.00

00:09:14.000 and explain her reasonings for not having successfully secured a long-term monogamous commitment from 0.98

00:09:19.000 an alpha, a man, a man, her attractiveness could attain for her.

00:09:23.000 Even women married prior to this phase will go through some self-doubt or self-pity.

00:09:28.000 Dealing with the un, or the hyper, hypergamic uncertainty of her choice.

00:09:33.000 Is this really the best I can do?

00:09:35.000 So, it is during this phase that women will make radical shifts in their prioritization 1.00

00:09:40.000 of what, uh, traits qualify as attractive in a man.

00:09:44.000 An attempt to turn over a new leaf by changing up their behaviors to allow, with this new

00:09:48.000 persona they created themselves, for themselves.

00:09:51.000 So, since the physicality, sexual prowess, and the alpha dominance that made her formal

00:09:56.000 arousal, it's like so more looks.

00:09:58.000 A formal arousal cues in men aren't as forthcoming from men when she was in her sexual prime. 0.98

00:10:03.000 She reprioritizes them with preferences for more intrinsic male attributes that stress dependability,

00:10:09.000 provisioning capacity, humor, intellect, and, um, esoteric definitions of compatibility and intimacy.

00:10:17.000 For the spiritually inclined women, this may manifest in a convenient return to the convictions 1.00

00:10:23.000 she disregarded since her adolescence.

00:10:25.000 For others, it may be, um, a forced celibacy, a refusal to have sex under the hypergamic,

00:10:32.000 I'm like, what do you use these big words?

00:10:34.000 Ossipies, of her party years in hopes that a well-provisioning male will appreciate her for her prudence. 0.71

00:10:41.000 So, unlike herself and all of the other girls who rejected him the last decade.

00:10:45.000 So, it's essentially like a rebrand.

00:10:47.000 Yeah.

00:10:48.000 Exactly.

00:10:49.000 But it said even for married women, it said, right?

00:10:52.000 No, that had been married.

00:10:54.000 Oh.

00:10:55.000 Well, actually, maybe.

00:10:56.000 Wait, let me rewrite.

00:10:57.000 Because I understood it as even married women go through some sort of shift.

00:11:02.000 You might be right.

00:11:04.000 You might be right.

00:11:05.000 I'm just trying to find it.

00:11:06.000 I understood that too.

00:11:07.000 And I think I experienced that as well.

00:11:09.000 Mm-hmm.

00:11:10.000 I didn't divorce until I was 34, but.

00:11:12.000 I think that goes back to emotions, how women act out of emotions, and I feel like women 1.00

00:11:16.000 need to find better ways to deal with their emotions.

00:11:18.000 They're usually stuffing them down.

00:11:20.000 That's why there's so much obesity.

00:11:21.000 I know.

00:11:22.000 Or smearing them out, like pushing them out, unsmearing them on other people through projection.

00:11:27.000 It's pretty destructive.

00:11:28.000 And I was like, oh, that's fine.

00:11:29.000 You can just be born again.

00:11:30.000 You can just do that.

00:11:31.000 You can just do that.

00:11:32.000 And it's like, that's still not truthful and authentic.

00:11:35.000 Yeah.

00:11:36.000 Who taught us?

00:11:37.000 What?

00:11:38.000 Who taught us how to deal with our emotions?

00:11:39.000 Or maybe our parents didn't.

00:11:40.000 It's a natural thing.

00:11:41.000 No, it's not.

00:11:42.000 What?

00:11:43.000 I think women naturally are emotional. 1.00

00:11:45.000 No, but we don't naturally know how to deal.

00:11:48.000 Not everyone knows.

00:11:49.000 You don't have to deal with it, but you're naturally emotional.

00:11:51.000 And it's like, so whether you know how to deal with it or not.

00:11:53.000 You think that when we say who taught us, it's almost like a way for women, like for us 0.88

00:11:58.000 to like, because I've noticed in our language, we like take accountability off of women. 1.00

00:12:03.000 Where it's like, we blame our choices over who taught us.

00:12:06.000 Where it's like, if a guy's in jail, they don't say who taught you that.

00:12:09.000 They just say, you ever notice that?

00:12:11.000 For sure.

00:12:12.000 No, absolutely.

00:12:13.000 Like, I don't think it's like intentional.

00:12:14.000 I just think, I feel like there's like these little things in conversation where we like,

00:12:18.000 take accountability off of women and like, put it onto someone else. 1.00

00:12:21.000 Yeah.

00:12:22.000 Thanks for shining light on that.

00:12:23.000 It's our responsibility as adults.

00:12:24.000 Yeah.

00:12:25.000 Definitely.

JustPearlyThings - May 13, 2023

Delusional Modern Women

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