Dinalva Finally Accepts This Fact About Modern Women
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
209.82031
Summary
In this episode, we talk about the biggest thing we ve been missing in our relationships, which is a good friend. We also discuss the importance of being a problem solver and how we can improve our relationships by unloading our problems with our partners.
Transcript
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no i i think like my biggest problem is like i first of all i hear all of you like i totally
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agree with what a lot of you guys are saying i think my biggest problem is that i do want someone
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that i can talk about my day with and what you said is a fact men are problem solvers they don't
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want to hear you gripe they just want to fix it and that's where i'm going through this like trying
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to figure out what exactly i'm wanting or needing but like i want someone that can listen to that
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yeah and i don't know if i'm asking for a unicorn but i want to be able to i want to be able to talk
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about what happened at the nail salon i do want to have that friendship i don't need you every single
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time i talk about something to try to fix it right of course we want someone who can who has the
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potential to fix a light bulb whatever great but i think that was the big that's been the biggest
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factor i've been missing in my relationships is like a friend and so that's where i don't know how
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it's supposed to go how it's going to end what it's supposed to be how how am i supposed to adjust my
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expectations what am i am i asking for something that's unrealistic so i do have a question
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um could you think of a friend that you have right now that you could potentially see yourself with
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i'm gonna be very honest with you i do not really buy into the whole male friend thing that's just a
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probably a bit of a jaded belief i can probably i can be aware enough to say that um
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i don't know i i honestly was sexually assaulted by my best friend before my 30th birthday actually so
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i have a little bit of a like i'm i don't want to close that part of my heart off but i just
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any doubt i had about it it felt like it was confirmed a little bit i'm like if i've if you
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if i'm drunk and you're given the chance you're gonna finger me in my sleep and that's like literally
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what happened to me so so yeah so it's like i just i don't know if i buy into that just yet but never
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say never but you know what can i just say something that is quite interesting yeah
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i grew up having mostly guy friends because i was a tomboy played sports and everything i used to be
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with the guys that is why even though i have a more feminine image now what's inside is quite different
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and one thing that i understand very well and one thing that they told me and one thing that i've picked
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up along the years what happened in the nail salon a lot of the time is petty and i'm not trying to
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say this because i'm trying to be with you because i know and i have girlfriends and when they come to
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me to talk about what happened in the nail salon i'm like wow how is this gonna add to my life this
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is mental clutter do you know that i have this to do tomorrow i have this to do tomorrow i have big
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things to worry about and you're trying to chew my ear off over something that is so petty that if you
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took two seconds to think within yourself and reflect you'll be able to let it go straight away
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and then instead of us spending five ten minutes talking about something pointless we could be
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talking about something that is more productive and sometimes more substantial and i think that a
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lot of the time what we girls get get you know and i say we girls just so that i don't single myself
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out but what girls tend to do a lot of the time is waste time talking about nonsense that doesn't mean
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anything i don't care about what happened in the nail salon what's that doing to advance my life
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you can say do you know what these people in the nail salon was so damn rude you know babe i need
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to go to the next one i need to go somewhere else actually do you know what next time what you reckon
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i should say that's a great way to get involved but even still there's no point i think the the point
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is like relationships work better if as women we can unload our prop like and talk to other women
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about our problems and go to our men about like problems we want to solve it's not to say you can never
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talk to like of course my mom would bitch to my dad about tracy but but it's it's just saying like in
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general men don't want to hear about it and it's like if you're selling we're the cars right and i
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know women aren't cars but like we're the cars you have to know your buyer and if your buyer doesn't
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like listening to our problems maybe we could try to tell tell them about them less unless we want them
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thanks yeah and don't put and don't put like a lot of the emotional because this is the thing girls
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sometimes can be really petty and it's like i understand because i'm always on the guy's side
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with this because i don't have time for that i also say to some of my girls like listen you're really
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stressing me out because we've gone over the same problem i've given you the same solution we're still
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talking about it those things are not needed you can have so much you can be your best a best friend
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with your with your man so easy you can talk about a million different things where you expand each
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other's minds i think that sometimes what goes wrong is that we think our friend has to be somebody
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that is burdened with our mental clutter that's what it is because i've i have amazing conversations
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with men and even in previous relationships i've always been able to sustain a conversation why
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because i don't talk about things that i perceive to be just like okay like here we go just talking
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for the sake of it obviously if the ghost is juicy then yeah you gotta tell them you know i'm saying
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make it interesting make it a package make it be something where they can be involved in whereas a
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lot of the time we're just like yeah and this happened and this happened we just want to tell
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a story and not actually even have the input from someone else and that's really and i i definitely agree
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with that for sure without a doubt i think that's where when we were talking about the concert stuff right
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like if i if i'm telling you don't go i have a feeling whatever the reason don't go but we're
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saying that we want to have genuine good solid friendships with women so again so taking some of
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that responsibility off of our man confiding in women that we know would would maybe care about the
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nail salon stuff but then it's like i don't know i guess for me it's like so then if my friend wants to
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go out to a concert i have to kind of like consider actually consider not going but the emotional
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part that i don't get from you i get from her so i still have to have in my mind autonomy like i
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should still be able to challenge going to the concert because this relationship helps our
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relationship stay afloat britney would you prefer would you prefer a guy that you could trust his
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judgment like have you can you think of a man like in your life at all that you like genuinely if
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he told you not to do something you would do it just because you respect him so much
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one person maybe um so it's like that type of respect like i'll give you an example my my dad
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um i respect him so much i do my accounting and i want to hire an accountant so bad and i like it
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she knows how much i hate it i bitch about it i bitch about it to everyone sorry guys i'll keep
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bitching and i literally because my dad says you need to know your numbers you need to do this like i just
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do it because he says and i i don't want to do it and it's like that's the level of respect
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men want to have from us it's like so much that even when you disagree even when you don't want
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to do it you just do it because you love them and you respect them and it's someone that you trust so
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much you know that they would never like abuse you yeah like that's that's the type of like
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relationship we aspire to have yeah it's like because it has to be someone you trust yeah i feel
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like i have just never had that so i think that's where the the concert talk can get triggering because
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you're like what the like if i can't talk to you about the nail salon i'm gonna go hang on my
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friends i still need to have a life i can't completely trust in your judgment because i
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can't completely trust you like yeah i i do not have a man in my life or really ever really have
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when i said maybe to one but even then um so if it's not a yes it's a no right so it's like i've
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never had a guy where i feel like yeah if he says don't go i'm not going so and so but that's what is
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where i'm working on myself to where i can manifest someone like that because clearly like
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there there's something inside of me that's attracting these type of men to where it's like
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i need to correct something in here well and it's making the men of the future pay for the
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mistakes of your past yeah and so it's like it's not his fault that you grew up how you grew up it's
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not his fault like who you've dated before yeah and it's like we always hate when a guy comes in
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and we date him and he's like you're cheating on me you know what i'm saying like he's all up in
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our phone and like all this stuff and you're like i'm just trying to love you like you're like we can
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think of someone but we do it to men all the time where it's like we can't submit because we're thinking
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oh we might do what that guy did or that guy did where it's like a good like a good if a good solid
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man came in like someone who loved you respected you and wanted what was best for you said something
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you're gonna be questioning him and it's gonna throw like it's gonna drive him off yeah with that said
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though i'm not gonna lie i look to have um the man that i want for my future is a man that can inspire
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and teach me that's why you want a unicorn i've talked i know i want a unicorn because i am a unicorn
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as a woman what can i say but i do want a man that when i say but babe why can't i go though
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and he'll be like look what if you said just trust me
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just even i would do that even just trust me babe just trust me i would like you sure cool then i'll
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trust you it's just a reassurance just how women have intuition men men have intuitions that we can't
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understand just how they can't understand our intuition but with something you said earlier denov
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about how you like to cook for people because it's just something you love to do and you love to have
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that experience with them and it made me think about what andrew tate was saying earlier about how
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when a man is able to i think i can't remember exactly what he said but did he use the word inspire
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or he used some word but when a man is able to be that to a woman that is like you cooking for your man
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it's like that that feeling that you get like oh it's like a sense of just like oh like i i love
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doing that for you and that's how men are they want to be able to be in that space where it's like
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only a man can be and be able to do that because they love doing that and that's just innate in them
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as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
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