JustPearlyThings - Dinalva Finally Accepts This Fact About Modern Women

00:00:00.000 no i i think like my biggest problem is like i first of all i hear all of you like i totally

00:00:07.360 agree with what a lot of you guys are saying i think my biggest problem is that i do want someone

00:00:14.720 that i can talk about my day with and what you said is a fact men are problem solvers they don't

00:00:22.320 want to hear you gripe they just want to fix it and that's where i'm going through this like trying

00:00:30.640 to figure out what exactly i'm wanting or needing but like i want someone that can listen to that

00:00:36.640 yeah and i don't know if i'm asking for a unicorn but i want to be able to i want to be able to talk

00:00:42.320 about what happened at the nail salon i do want to have that friendship i don't need you every single

00:00:48.720 time i talk about something to try to fix it right of course we want someone who can who has the

00:00:54.080 potential to fix a light bulb whatever great but i think that was the big that's been the biggest

00:01:00.320 factor i've been missing in my relationships is like a friend and so that's where i don't know how

00:01:07.840 it's supposed to go how it's going to end what it's supposed to be how how am i supposed to adjust my

00:01:11.920 expectations what am i am i asking for something that's unrealistic so i do have a question

00:01:18.720 um could you think of a friend that you have right now that you could potentially see yourself with

00:01:26.160 i'm gonna be very honest with you i do not really buy into the whole male friend thing that's just a

00:01:34.560 probably a bit of a jaded belief i can probably i can be aware enough to say that um

00:01:41.760 i don't know i i honestly was sexually assaulted by my best friend before my 30th birthday actually so

00:01:47.040 i have a little bit of a like i'm i don't want to close that part of my heart off but i just

00:01:53.280 any doubt i had about it it felt like it was confirmed a little bit i'm like if i've if you

00:01:58.320 if i'm drunk and you're given the chance you're gonna finger me in my sleep and that's like literally

00:02:02.000 what happened to me so so yeah so it's like i just i don't know if i buy into that just yet but never

00:02:07.760 say never but you know what can i just say something that is quite interesting yeah

00:02:14.080 i grew up having mostly guy friends because i was a tomboy played sports and everything i used to be

00:02:19.840 with the guys that is why even though i have a more feminine image now what's inside is quite different

00:02:25.520 and one thing that i understand very well and one thing that they told me and one thing that i've picked

00:02:29.280 up along the years what happened in the nail salon a lot of the time is petty and i'm not trying to

00:02:36.160 say this because i'm trying to be with you because i know and i have girlfriends and when they come to

00:02:40.800 me to talk about what happened in the nail salon i'm like wow how is this gonna add to my life this

00:02:45.680 is mental clutter do you know that i have this to do tomorrow i have this to do tomorrow i have big

00:02:49.520 things to worry about and you're trying to chew my ear off over something that is so petty that if you

00:02:54.000 took two seconds to think within yourself and reflect you'll be able to let it go straight away

00:02:58.560 and then instead of us spending five ten minutes talking about something pointless we could be

00:03:02.560 talking about something that is more productive and sometimes more substantial and i think that a

00:03:06.400 lot of the time what we girls get get you know and i say we girls just so that i don't single myself

00:03:12.880 out but what girls tend to do a lot of the time is waste time talking about nonsense that doesn't mean 1.00

00:03:18.000 anything i don't care about what happened in the nail salon what's that doing to advance my life 0.98

00:03:22.400 you can say do you know what these people in the nail salon was so damn rude you know babe i need 1.00

00:03:26.480 to go to the next one i need to go somewhere else actually do you know what next time what you reckon

00:03:29.840 i should say that's a great way to get involved but even still there's no point i think the the point

00:03:35.120 is like relationships work better if as women we can unload our prop like and talk to other women 1.00

00:03:40.240 about our problems and go to our men about like problems we want to solve it's not to say you can never

00:03:45.920 talk to like of course my mom would bitch to my dad about tracy but but it's it's just saying like in 0.99

00:03:57.360 general men don't want to hear about it and it's like if you're selling we're the cars right and i

00:04:02.160 know women aren't cars but like we're the cars you have to know your buyer and if your buyer doesn't 1.00

00:04:06.480 like listening to our problems maybe we could try to tell tell them about them less unless we want them

00:04:11.520 thanks yeah and don't put and don't put like a lot of the emotional because this is the thing girls 0.99

00:04:17.680 sometimes can be really petty and it's like i understand because i'm always on the guy's side

00:04:23.040 with this because i don't have time for that i also say to some of my girls like listen you're really

00:04:27.200 stressing me out because we've gone over the same problem i've given you the same solution we're still

00:04:32.160 talking about it those things are not needed you can have so much you can be your best a best friend

00:04:36.800 with your with your man so easy you can talk about a million different things where you expand each

00:04:41.760 other's minds i think that sometimes what goes wrong is that we think our friend has to be somebody

00:04:46.160 that is burdened with our mental clutter that's what it is because i've i have amazing conversations

00:04:52.480 with men and even in previous relationships i've always been able to sustain a conversation why

00:04:56.800 because i don't talk about things that i perceive to be just like okay like here we go just talking

00:05:02.080 for the sake of it obviously if the ghost is juicy then yeah you gotta tell them you know i'm saying

00:05:08.560 make it interesting make it a package make it be something where they can be involved in whereas a

00:05:13.280 lot of the time we're just like yeah and this happened and this happened we just want to tell

00:05:18.720 a story and not actually even have the input from someone else and that's really and i i definitely agree

00:05:25.040 with that for sure without a doubt i think that's where when we were talking about the concert stuff right

00:05:31.040 like if i if i'm telling you don't go i have a feeling whatever the reason don't go but we're

00:05:35.840 saying that we want to have genuine good solid friendships with women so again so taking some of

00:05:41.920 that responsibility off of our man confiding in women that we know would would maybe care about the

00:05:46.960 nail salon stuff but then it's like i don't know i guess for me it's like so then if my friend wants to

00:05:53.280 go out to a concert i have to kind of like consider actually consider not going but the emotional

00:06:00.880 part that i don't get from you i get from her so i still have to have in my mind autonomy like i

00:06:06.640 should still be able to challenge going to the concert because this relationship helps our

00:06:14.400 relationship stay afloat britney would you prefer would you prefer a guy that you could trust his 1.00

00:06:20.240 judgment like have you can you think of a man like in your life at all that you like genuinely if

00:06:25.040 he told you not to do something you would do it just because you respect him so much

00:06:28.320 one person maybe um so it's like that type of respect like i'll give you an example my my dad

00:06:37.840 um i respect him so much i do my accounting and i want to hire an accountant so bad and i like it

00:06:43.840 she knows how much i hate it i bitch about it i bitch about it to everyone sorry guys i'll keep 1.00

00:06:47.840 bitching and i literally because my dad says you need to know your numbers you need to do this like i just 1.00

00:06:53.200 do it because he says and i i don't want to do it and it's like that's the level of respect

00:06:58.160 men want to have from us it's like so much that even when you disagree even when you don't want

00:07:02.320 to do it you just do it because you love them and you respect them and it's someone that you trust so

00:07:07.360 much you know that they would never like abuse you yeah like that's that's the type of like

00:07:12.800 relationship we aspire to have yeah it's like because it has to be someone you trust yeah i feel

00:07:18.880 like i have just never had that so i think that's where the the concert talk can get triggering because

00:07:25.440 you're like what the like if i can't talk to you about the nail salon i'm gonna go hang on my

00:07:29.760 friends i still need to have a life i can't completely trust in your judgment because i

00:07:33.840 can't completely trust you like yeah i i do not have a man in my life or really ever really have

00:07:40.960 when i said maybe to one but even then um so if it's not a yes it's a no right so it's like i've

00:07:47.200 never had a guy where i feel like yeah if he says don't go i'm not going so and so but that's what is

00:07:53.440 where i'm working on myself to where i can manifest someone like that because clearly like

00:07:58.880 there there's something inside of me that's attracting these type of men to where it's like

00:08:03.280 i need to correct something in here well and it's making the men of the future pay for the

00:08:07.200 mistakes of your past yeah and so it's like it's not his fault that you grew up how you grew up it's

00:08:12.160 not his fault like who you've dated before yeah and it's like we always hate when a guy comes in

00:08:17.040 and we date him and he's like you're cheating on me you know what i'm saying like he's all up in

00:08:21.200 our phone and like all this stuff and you're like i'm just trying to love you like you're like we can

00:08:27.040 think of someone but we do it to men all the time where it's like we can't submit because we're thinking

00:08:32.240 oh we might do what that guy did or that guy did where it's like a good like a good if a good solid

00:08:37.600 man came in like someone who loved you respected you and wanted what was best for you said something

00:08:42.880 you're gonna be questioning him and it's gonna throw like it's gonna drive him off yeah with that said

00:08:48.960 though i'm not gonna lie i look to have um the man that i want for my future is a man that can inspire

00:08:57.280 and teach me that's why you want a unicorn i've talked i know i want a unicorn because i am a unicorn

00:09:02.400 as a woman what can i say but i do want a man that when i say but babe why can't i go though

00:09:10.240 and he'll be like look what if you said just trust me

00:09:12.960 just even i would do that even just trust me babe just trust me i would like you sure cool then i'll

00:09:20.640 trust you it's just a reassurance just how women have intuition men men have intuitions that we can't

00:09:28.080 understand just how they can't understand our intuition but with something you said earlier denov

00:09:33.120 about how you like to cook for people because it's just something you love to do and you love to have

00:09:37.840 that experience with them and it made me think about what andrew tate was saying earlier about how

00:09:43.920 when a man is able to i think i can't remember exactly what he said but did he use the word inspire

00:09:51.600 or he used some word but when a man is able to be that to a woman that is like you cooking for your man

00:10:00.960 it's like that that feeling that you get like oh it's like a sense of just like oh like i i love

00:10:06.880 doing that for you and that's how men are they want to be able to be in that space where it's like

00:10:11.600 only a man can be and be able to do that because they love doing that and that's just innate in them

00:10:18.320 as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this

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JustPearlyThings - April 23, 2023

Dinalva Finally Accepts This Fact About Modern Women

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