JustPearlyThings - June 22, 2023


Divorced Man Is NOT Allowed To LOVE HIS SON


Episode Stats

Length

7 minutes

Words per Minute

150.99504

Word Count

1,085

Sentence Count

121

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

2


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Eventually, what we have is this one meeting between me and Kejia.
00:00:03.380 We'd have several previous, which were very successful.
00:00:07.120 But me and my son said that, well, me and my son had a very rough and tumble relationship, let's say.
00:00:22.480 Our play was hands-on, rough and tumble.
00:00:24.900 And this didn't go down so well with some of the older, more traditional social workers, let's say.
00:00:37.260 They saw physical contact as abuse.
00:00:40.240 No, but that's how boys play.
00:00:42.720 You know this, I know this.
00:00:44.340 Yeah.
00:00:44.880 We are talking about the parallel world.
00:00:46.900 Is it mostly women?
00:00:48.860 Yeah, it's all women.
00:00:49.960 Yeah.
00:00:50.220 These people who are supervising my contact with my son, okay?
00:00:55.800 So my son loved playing soldiers, and this is one particular game.
00:01:00.340 We played rugby and all sorts of wrestling, arm wrestling, even sparring with the boxing gloves.
00:01:10.900 But there's this one game he used to play.
00:01:12.760 He used to be the sergeant major.
00:01:15.020 He'd say, right, Dad, you stand to attention, right?
00:01:17.160 And he'd give me, I had to march around.
00:01:21.060 Stand up straight, he'd shout.
00:01:23.380 And I had to stand up straight, do whatever.
00:01:27.080 And he kind of punched me in the stomach.
00:01:30.040 Oh, pull that stomach in.
00:01:31.740 All right, chest out.
00:01:32.620 And they interjected and said, oh, you can't do that.
00:01:39.200 You know, and you can't allow your son to punch you.
00:01:44.720 You have to create boundaries.
00:01:49.180 And I said, look, he didn't punch me, did he?
00:01:50.940 This was, this criticism was going on right in front of my son.
00:01:54.940 So my son was sat there, this woman was starting to criticise my lack of ability to maintain discipline, okay?
00:02:06.740 And I said, right in front of my son.
00:02:09.400 So she's undermining me straight away.
00:02:11.200 And I said, look, I know very well the difference between play and aggression.
00:02:20.120 And this is innocent play.
00:02:22.140 No, no, no, I don't see that.
00:02:23.380 I don't see that.
00:02:24.000 I said, can we move away from the car so we're out of earshot?
00:02:28.080 And that took some time.
00:02:29.520 By that point, she'd already undermined all my authority.
00:02:32.820 She started criticising everything I started doing.
00:02:35.900 And I said, look, this is ridiculous.
00:02:37.240 You can't, we, my son had fun.
00:02:41.000 This, did you not see the smile on his face?
00:02:43.520 And that was during like one of the visitations that was supervised.
00:02:46.920 This was the last one we had.
00:02:48.240 The last one.
00:02:49.240 And this is before he was in foster care.
00:02:51.780 This is after, this is during he's in foster care.
00:02:53.920 This is during foster care.
00:02:55.300 And, and this is basically two and a half years ago.
00:02:58.720 And there's been one fleeting meeting since.
00:03:01.120 But this, I, I took exception to this and I made a complaint.
00:03:04.980 I said, look, me and my son have to have quality time together.
00:03:11.840 We have to play the games that he wants to play.
00:03:14.440 This was his idea to play this game.
00:03:17.980 They, they returned with a list of demands saying, well, you can't, you can't touch your son.
00:03:23.340 You can't play physical games.
00:03:24.820 You can't accept violence of any sort.
00:03:27.780 You can't, as I said before, you can't say you'd love him.
00:03:30.540 You can't say, where have you been?
00:03:32.360 You can't, and I'm supposed to tick this box.
00:03:34.920 So the government is basically telling you, you can't even ask about your son.
00:03:38.760 You can't play with your son.
00:03:40.020 You can't tell him you love him.
00:03:41.820 That's right.
00:03:42.780 And this is the, from the social worker.
00:03:45.280 Yes.
00:03:45.900 Social services are telling me that I can't do, I can't have a relationship with my son.
00:03:51.140 So I refuse that.
00:03:53.240 I refuse to sign it.
00:03:54.060 I'm trying to understand how these organizations like work together.
00:03:57.360 Because it's just, it's weird to me that like, they're all separate organizations, but they're doing the same thing.
00:04:05.300 Yes, that's right.
00:04:06.140 But, but it's made up of individuals.
00:04:07.960 So there aren't individuals that come forward and say, this is messed up.
00:04:11.580 Like, you know what I mean?
00:04:12.140 If you have 20 random people that join an organization, wouldn't you think that some would say this is crazy?
00:04:18.700 Yes.
00:04:19.380 Yes.
00:04:19.640 I have, I have the ideal example of this, that we had several social workers, female, not to cast aspersions, but these are self-selecting people.
00:04:31.100 They see themselves on crusades.
00:04:34.940 Oh.
00:04:36.060 Right.
00:04:36.460 So the people, the people that go into these careers, they see themselves as like saviors, basically.
00:04:41.860 Yes.
00:04:42.080 At the lower level, definitely.
00:04:44.420 And look, I have encountered a lot of incompetence.
00:04:50.460 And I think most of, it's tempting to see some sort of overarching conspiracy, right?
00:04:57.080 Because you think, how on earth has all this happened?
00:04:59.040 Right.
00:04:59.360 Who's the, who's the puppet master here?
00:05:02.860 I'm inclined to think it's just base stupidity, 99 times out of 100.
00:05:08.480 But these people are self-selecting.
00:05:10.500 They go into these professions with a mission to save poor, innocent females, right?
00:05:19.160 They're feminists themselves.
00:05:21.420 So you encounter the same arguments.
00:05:23.960 And we say, you know, social services, CAFCAS, are different.
00:05:29.400 Well, they're not different.
00:05:30.300 They, they, they select from the same pool of people.
00:05:33.360 Okay.
00:05:33.780 Because that was my question.
00:05:34.860 Because the organizations, there's social services and CAFCAS.
00:05:42.820 CAFCAS.
00:05:43.320 How are those two related or they're not related?
00:05:45.500 They're separate.
00:05:45.920 Well, strictly speaking, they are separate.
00:05:48.640 But they're both government organizations.
00:05:53.460 Yes, very much so.
00:05:54.840 Okay.
00:05:55.180 So the government pays social services and CAFCAS.
00:06:01.480 That's right.
00:06:02.060 Yes.
00:06:02.280 Okay.
00:06:03.040 And then social services, they're the ones that took your son away.
00:06:06.860 Yes.
00:06:07.180 Okay.
00:06:07.960 And they're the ones that employed the psychologist.
00:06:10.620 It was a social services psychologist.
00:06:12.280 Yes.
00:06:12.920 Okay.
00:06:13.160 That's right.
00:06:13.560 Yeah.
00:06:14.100 Okay.
00:06:14.600 Just want to make sure.
00:06:17.860 Okay.
00:06:18.580 And the, the court system is separate or are they, where, where do they come?
00:06:23.520 Uh, they are supposedly separate.
00:06:27.020 I mean, there are several different layers of government that you've missed out, but essentially
00:06:31.060 it's all the state, isn't it?
00:06:32.860 So you have local government and you have national government and CAFCAS.
00:06:38.220 So social services are employed by the local authority.
00:06:42.220 CAFCAS are.
00:06:42.900 Okay.
00:06:43.220 So they're the police.
00:06:45.480 Is that the local authorities?
00:06:47.080 Is that the police?
00:06:48.320 No, the locals, as in the county council that we'd have.
00:06:51.520 So Shropshire council.
00:06:53.580 It's, it's a strange thing that I've, so they're the people that basically do planning
00:06:59.400 permission for houses that fill in potholes, that empty the bins, that do, and then they,
00:07:06.200 they take your child from you as well.
00:07:07.800 I don't see how those, they don't really.