JustPearlyThings - June 16, 2023


Divorced Man Reveals The Harsh Reality Of Divorce

Topics
divorce reasons
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Pearl EXPOSES Her Toxic Trait In Her Last Relationship The Panel Reacts To Andrew Tate Livestream

Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

175.35

Word count

1,820

Sentence count

83

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Toxicity

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what should you endure in a relationship. Do you believe in marriage and divorce? Do you stand by it? What should you do in a situation where you don't feel on the same page as your partner? How do you know when to walk away from a relationship? What are the reasons why you should leave a relationship and what you should do in situations where you feel like you're not growing anymore?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.040 Today's topic was inspired by MLD. You know he went on a podcast and when he
00:00:10.980 talked about you should endure in a relationship. So today we're gonna talk
00:00:15.840 about what should you endure in a relationship. So my first question is do
00:00:23.280 you believe in marriage and do you believe in divorce? I do believe in
00:00:28.920 marriage. Just haven't really had a chance to meet my person. So divorce I
00:00:36.060 believe in anything that makes two people happy. You know it's it's not
00:00:40.080 something you pre-plan just sign a contract agreement and that that's it.
00:00:43.800 So yeah well whatever happens as long as it works for the both. Okay so you do
00:00:49.540 believe in divorce? Well I would prefer not to have a divorce. That's probably why
00:00:54.420 I am still choosing but if it happens it happens. Okay so I'm just I just want to
00:01:00.280 know you do believe in divorce in some situations. Yes in some situations. Okay
00:01:04.320 fine. So yeah I believe in marriage. Divorce not so much. Okay. It's that's not a fun
00:01:11.500 thing. I'm going through divorce. Okay. So towards just finishing completing now. So
00:01:17.180 really I think with most guys we'll stick it out for the rough the troughs and the
00:01:23.560 highs and the lows. But maybe the experience in modern in the modern world is possibly
00:01:31.180 women are less patient. Okay. Stick it out. So it sounds like it wasn't really your 1.00
00:01:36.080 choice. No it wasn't. No it wasn't your choice. Okay. Oh actually it was a mutual. It was a
00:01:43.420 mutual choice. Yeah it was mutual. Okay. Now that I think about it yeah. Wait how is it
00:01:49.440 how is it mutual in the end? So she brought it up and then like you later? Like I don't
00:01:54.260 know how. I was just curious how is it one-sided then mutual? Well okay let's get raw with it.
00:02:02.140 So every time we pretty much had an argument she she was calling an end to the marriage
00:02:08.820 each time and then after 50 times of saying I'm I don't want to be in this anymore I was
00:02:14.660 like okay. Oh okay. Like like I've done. Okay. I've done with this. Okay. Yeah it's kind of
00:02:22.240 an extreme version. Okay. But I've learned so much from it. Okay. What about you? Do you
00:02:28.080 believe in marriage and do you believe in divorce? I grew up in a society that marriage
00:02:32.960 was a must in order to be with someone and I respect that and that's fine. My parents
00:02:38.200 have been together forever and that's good. They're happy and not sometimes but they're
00:02:42.320 still together. Do I believe in divorce? I believe in doing the right thing what feels
00:02:49.120 right for people because I was so into like no divorce. It shouldn't happen. But then over
00:02:55.260 the years and working with people that have come because can I just very quickly give
00:02:59.980 some background on I was you know I have a very sort of different way of looking at stories
00:03:06.360 because I was kidnapped and then abused and so on you know and eventually when I made it
00:03:14.200 through to the UK after my kidnap it was very difficult for me to to to form those relationships
00:03:21.260 whether it's friendship, trust or even getting married. So eventually I got married and I'm
00:03:27.020 happy and everything is fine but then I work with people and they haven't gone through war,
00:03:32.940 they haven't gone through kidnap but they they can relate to my story and I say why could you relate?
00:03:37.600 They said because I've got war going on in the house. So if there is war in the house it's completely
00:03:44.320 unfair for children to be exposed to something that is so toxic. So if you recognize it's toxic
00:03:51.100 you also have the the ability to say no to what's happening to you and therefore you should go for
00:03:58.100 what feels right. So you should not be selfish in terms of thinking by staying in that relationship
00:04:03.440 that you are doing a favor by keeping the kids in that relationship or even if the kids are not involved
00:04:09.700 do you want to be in a relationship that's toxic? So I believe in marriage and I believe in divorce
00:04:16.140 and I stand by it because only for the right reasons. I don't mean changing partners. I don't mean
00:04:21.800 you know just just just divorce because you feel like it because the grass looks greener but the grass is
00:04:28.140 not greener on the other side. Okay so you you do believe in divorce? I believe in divorce for those
00:04:33.500 reasons yes. Okay so what what reasons do you believe in? For example if there is violence if
00:04:39.600 you've drifted away and you're really genuinely unhappy. Okay so if you drifted apart you don't
00:04:45.760 feel like you did before? Well I mean we all don't feel the same as we do at the beginning but I mean
00:04:52.600 more like in a sense that one has grown and the other one has stayed stagnant. Okay so therefore if you
00:04:58.760 feel like you're not on the same page anymore so they're no longer you are friends because
00:05:03.300 relationships is friendship. How does one grow and one stay stagnant? Like what does that mean?
00:05:09.200 Well for example if one grows in terms of following their dreams or following that what they want to
00:05:15.320 do with their career and the other one just decides to be forever the same but they then go against the
00:05:22.940 other person hold the other person back or they get a bit funny about it. I mean
00:05:26.780 isn't that usually isn't that usually what happens like one person goes for their career one watches
00:05:31.300 the kids usually? I think she's what I think she means like when you're too because this happened
00:05:35.680 to me when you're in a relationship with someone and one person is a little bit more focused on
00:05:39.860 self-development and the other person is kind of content with their life when you start when you
00:05:45.220 start to ascend and level up as a person like you're it's up to you in my particular experience as a
00:05:51.340 man to pull your woman up with you and you guys level up together because eventually if you don't
00:05:56.780 level up there is going to be a gap between two of you and eventually you're going to grow apart over
00:06:01.960 the years. I think is that what you mean or am I wrong? Yeah no absolutely I was getting there but I'm
00:06:06.020 aware of time and everybody should have their say but having been in a marriage and having been
00:06:10.980 for me it took a lot to be in a marriage and trust a man and create life again because I was you know
00:06:18.420 really badly bruised in so many ways because I don't you know I don't want to get into it but you
00:06:26.000 can read the book about it but it takes courage to to give yourself fully in a relationship so I think
00:06:34.780 both parties should appreciate the fact that we are both vulnerable when you open up and you say
00:06:40.680 you love each other and love means a lot more not just like you know. Yeah I just don't yeah I just
00:06:48.160 don't if we're talking about like kids I just don't know if you should get divorced over self-development
00:06:54.820 like one person develops one doesn't. No so yeah I'm talking more as the two people
00:07:00.160 because I'm married and I have seen I had my husband live in Singapore for a while on his own
00:07:06.820 and I raised the boys and I've sacrificed my career so many times and I even moved to Singapore
00:07:13.160 and had to set up a business from scratch so you you do those things because you you love each other
00:07:20.460 and you support each other I'm not saying just because you're growing apart and and you should
00:07:25.380 get divorced but if you are miserable and the kids can feel it I mean it's it's a good idea to
00:07:31.880 to get divorced okay to to speak about it and decide what's best okay what do you think
00:07:37.220 yeah yeah I definitely believe in marriage I'm a Muslim and it's a big part of our religion to get
00:07:43.400 married getting married actually completes half our faith that's how the importance of marriage in
00:07:49.080 Islam so I definitely believe in it I also believe in divorce and like it is a last resort 1.00
00:07:54.800 divorce is the most hated thing by Allah that's that's legal so it should be a last resort but in 1.00
00:08:01.040 certain situations yeah divorce is needed in some situations if a man's beating his wife for 1.00
00:08:06.740 example she should not definitely stay stay in a marriage
00:08:09.220 but as a whole yeah I think you should you should try and work through things I think we live in a
00:08:23.460 generation now where we're just quitters whether it be it work something hard relationships just life
00:08:29.280 I think we're a nation of quitters at the moment and I think life's life's not easy marriage
00:08:35.080 definitely isn't easy and I think you should really really work through things and really try your
00:08:40.820 best to try and get through things before divorce but I think as a last resort yeah I think divorce is
00:08:45.360 sometimes needed but I think marriage is a beautiful thing okay what do you think I definitely believe
00:08:50.240 in marriage I want to get married without getting the state and my assets involved but when it comes to
00:08:57.280 divorce I'm half Indian and I like to refer back to my Indian people with the less than one percent 1.00
00:09:03.980 divorce rate I definitely just think that a lot of people right now they would rather point the finger
00:09:15.080 at somebody and pull the rug on a relationship and want to get a divorce quickly compared to working it out 1.00
00:09:24.060 sitting down taking accountability on both parties for the for their actions and no I'm not saying that
00:09:32.180 if a woman is getting beaten in a relationship she should stay or a man because that's what the detractors 0.97
00:09:38.540 like to say they like to take the most extreme example and act as if it's a blanket statement
00:09:45.220 to all people who are having troubles in relationship but I do believe the majority of people
00:09:51.620 who get divorces I believe that the majority of those people could work through their differences
00:09:59.140 however we live in this gigantically selfish narcissistic culture nowadays around the world
00:10:04.880 and I think everybody's talking about me me me me but the thing about focusing on me me me me
00:10:11.180 that's who you end up with you end up alone and you need to be more mature as a human as an 0.95
00:10:17.980 individual and you need to focus on we not me so you should fucking endure 0.99